The following is a pure work of fiction and is the property of the author. It's a story with some sex, not sex with some story. Please remember this is fiction. Representation of characters and institutions may not be relevant to today's society. I do not usually acknowledge e-mails, instead using my time to write. I do appreciate hearing from you to let me know if this story is meeting your expectations. Hope that you continue enjoying the story. LJB
Joseph Andrew Collins Chapter 17
A team of Pledge brothers helped Brother Sandy to take Ellis upstairs and have a shower after the Wednesday night meeting ended. Sandy had suggested a couple days ago that we rotate the Pledge brothers helping Ellis, so everyone had a chance to spend some time with him and he got to know the whole class, not just a few. It was an excellent suggestion and when the other Pledges were consulted, they readily agreed.
Once Ellis' shower was done, Sandy went to his own section and left Ellis with us. He was able to wheel his chair around the upstairs level and could transfer himself into bed whenever he wanted, so he really didn't need further assistance. I had been along with the group who helped him shower (as his current twin, I needed to be) and followed behind him as we went to our bedroom. We were sharing tonight with Pete and William, who were already in bed before we got there.
As we entered our bedroom, I noticed that the Pledge Master was standing at the end of the corridor, staring at me. I turned to face him and realized he was trying as hard as he could to project a message to me, so I opened to him.
"Can I please talk to you ?" he asked, repeating the question over and over.
"You only need to say it once." I spoke aloud to him. "I heard you." He gave me a smile, the first one I'd seen from him in the past few days. "I'm twinned. Do you want to come in here, or do you want me to bring him out there ?" The smile turned to a frown.
"I want you to just come and sit on the steps with me for a few minutes." he said to me. "I don't think anyone will ask where your twin is. After all, I am still the Pledge Master, but I don't want you to feel like I'm ordering you to come." I stuck my head in the door and told Ellis I'd be back shortly. He said, he was fine and if I was very long, he'd be asleep anyway. Then I went into the Drying Room and grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist. I'm not shy, but I wasn't going to sit naked on the stairs with Vince fully dressed. It just didn't feel right.
Vince met me when I came out of the Drying Room and we walked silently down the hallway together and out onto the stairway landing, then stepped down a couple stairs and sat down. We sat in silence for a minute while he collected his thoughts.
"You know what I said downstairs tonight about being afraid ?" he finally asked. I nodded my head. "Well, I wanted you to know that I'm past that now. I understand more what this is about and I am so sorry I let my fears hurt you, I can't even tell you how sorry."
"I understand why it happened, Vince." I assured him. "You have to realize that the problem was not your fear. It was how you handled it. Your response was to reject and hurt someone you were suppose to care about, but I'm no better. I did the same thing."
"What do you mean ?" he asked, honestly concerned about what I was saying.
"I let myself use the hurt and anger I felt toward you, as an excuse to cut myself off from everyone." I explained. "When I did that, I left Andrew without any way of knowing where I was, or that I was all right. I left him to worry about me, until I came to my senses. It was needless hurt and worry, for nothing."
"I didn't know about that." Vince stated. "I'm responsible for part of that as well."
"No." I responded. "That one was all my doing. I get the full credit there." We sat quietly together, both of us thinking to ourselves for several minutes.
"You know, Tick, I've discovered one thing about these perception skills." Vince said, breaking the silence. "I actually have some. When I really concentrate, I can hear what some people are saying to me with their minds. I was afraid of you, because I thought you would be able to know my every thought and it turns out that I might be able to do the same thing myself."
"I've listened to your thoughts, Vince, when you've sent them to me and I think you'll find you are a sender and receiver." I suggested to him. "You will not hear every thought, only the ones sent to you. Believe me, when you can hear every thought, the trick is to learn not to hear them."
"Thanks for talking with me, Tick." Vince told me. "I'm very glad we can be friends. I value you very highly and your friendship is important to me. I still love you, Tick."
"And I still love you, Vince." I admitted. "This is just not our time, I guess. I will treasure our friendship for as long as we share it." We reached out and hugged each other, both knowing this would be the limit of our relationship for the times we were together.
When I walked back into the bedroom, everyone was still awake and waiting for me.
"Is everything okay ?" Pete wanted to know.
"Yah." I answered. "The Pledge Master and I needed to be sure we understand where we stood. We do now."
"I couldn't believe all the things that happened at the meeting tonight." Ellis declared. "I never had the slightest idea when I came here looking to join a Fraternity, I would find people who experienced voices like I always have. It's always been a secret I had to live with ever since I've been in my early teens."
"Many people don't have any awareness of their skills until they enter puberty." I commented. "My own skills have been active ever since I can remember, but I always had Brad there to support me and of course Mom and Dad too."
"Well, I didn't have anyone else I ever discovered, or at least ever said anything to me about it." Ellis complained. "I found when I heard certain people say things, they really hadn't spoken. It occurred to me at some point that a lot of the things I heard were snide, or negative comments and it finally dawned on me that people were saying one thing and thinking something else. After a while it became funny sometimes and I could sure tell who was being honest and sincere."
"You will learn here how to control what you hear." I explained. "It's a lot easier when a voice doesn't all of a sudden pop up in the middle of something you're thinking about."
"How is Brother Brad managing at Alpha Gamma Epsilon House ?" Ellis asked. "Someone mentioned to me that he's your brother. Has he said anything to you ?"
"I talked to him this afternoon." I related. "He stopped by while my keepers and I were doing my exercise routine. Everything has been busy at AGE. The Brothers have apparently really cleaned house. They expelled the former Pledge Master and two other Brothers who were involved with him in abusing the Pledges. The second year Brothers have all been added to the Pledge Class and they are all undergoing Trials until the end of next week. Brad is going to be there until then, but he said for sure he will be here for the investiture of the new Brothers."
"What are your 'keepers' ?" William asked. I laughed.
"My Coach made a comment that I wasn't doing my exercise program enough, so now I have 4 'keepers', who have decided to make sure it's done every day. Three of them check with me personally and I have standing orders to report to Brother Roger (Coach Banks) at 5 o'clock any day I have not done my program within 24 hours prior to that time." I explained.
"Wow." Ellis whistled. "That could get to be a real pain in the ass."
"It's not that bad." I assured him. "They do it because they care and it is getting me back into my proper routine." I turned out the overhead light and slid into bed next to Ellis. "Anything special I need to know ? Do you get up through the night to take a leak or anything ?"
"No, I just sleep, like everyone else." he chuckled, then I heard his voice in my mind. "If you really want to do something for me, you can find somewhere private that I can have a few minutes to jerk off. I've not been alone since Sunday and I was too embarrassed to say anything to Sandy. I figured you would understand."
"I understand all right." I projected back to him. "It's not an easy thing for any of us to be alone since we've been twinned. I think one of the things the Brothers expect is that we will slowly become comfortable with other Brothers being around when we are involved with sexual things. They never did anything in front of me, while I was a visitor, but I know the Brothers sometimes have overnight guests and often their roommates either have a guest too, or just goes to sleep."
"Whoa." Ellis declared aloud. "I don't know about that." He paused and thought for a minute. "I guess you adjust though. A week ago I wouldn't have asked anyone, even you about jerking off."
"What's that about jerking off ?" Pete sat up in the bed on the other side of the room, all ears and ready. "I know six different ways and I've tried them all."
"You see Ellis," I commented, "that's the benefit of having a brother to guide you through the unknown. Okay Pete, let's hear them, one at a time." It was a while before we got to sleep Wednesday night. Pete's descriptions of the last two ways were a little beyond comprehension and ended up with a demonstration demanded by the other three of us. In the end, we all found that jerkin' off with your brothers isn't embarrassing at all, especially when they were doing exactly the same thing as you and enjoying it just as much. Good thing I brought that towel from the Drying Room back in here with me.
The Thursday morning wakeup call was no easier than any of the others had been. Ellis and I were near the last in line for morning instructions, but lifesavers were collected from the three following us. As we returned to our rooms, RAT caught my attention and managed a silent projection asking to talk with me. I told him I was tied up until lunch, but agreed to meet him in the cafeteria at 12:30.
The morning was clear and brisk and I found I had to keep moving in order to keep up with Ellis. Some of his equipment had been delivered yesterday from Customs, having finally returned from Europe and the World competitions. The wheelchair he used on the morning run was specially designed for outside travel and it could really move when his massive arms and shoulders started generating force against those wheels, which looked like bike tires.
Ellis and I both had classes Thursday morning, so we were busy keeping within our twinning limit. Several times we were challenged. The Brothers seemed to be getting more active in their attempts to collect our Lifesavers. So far, neither one of us had lost any. I explained to Ellis that RAT had asked to talk with me and asked, if during lunch he would mind twinning with Kirk, while RAT and I went off to talk. He had no problem with the arrangements. I also took the opportunity of suggesting to him, he twin with Kirk tonight and he agreed to take my recommendation.
When Rat and I finished in the food line and found a table for two in the busy and noisy cafeteria, we sat down and began eating.
"What can I do for you, Bro. ?" I asked. RAT looked at me most seriously, while he paused.
"You remember last night, when you read me about my Grandpa Phelps ?" he asked. I nodded to acknowledge I remembered. "How much of my memory did you read about him ?"
"I didn't actually read your memory," I informed him, "I read the thoughts that you recalled from your memory, when Andrew spoke his name to you." There was another pause while he continued to stare at me.
"Joe, I trust you as much as I trust any other human being." he stated and I knew it was the truth. "I have some very mixed up and troubled memories about my Grandpa. Can you read my memories ?"
"I don't really know, RAT." I responded. "My training has never gone past conscious thought. I wouldn't want to even try without Andrew, or Brad and Dr. Bayer being with us. I don't know if I could harm you."
"I really need to understand some of the memories I have from when I was younger." RAT told me. "If they will agree, would you try to help me." While RAT had been speaking to me, I had been trying to see if I could make conscious contact with Andrew. I had done it with Brad on occasions, but I didn't know what range limit I might be restricted by.
"You don't have to yell." Andrew's soothing tones slipped into my mind. "I'm not far away, I'll be there in a couple minutes." It was the first time I had established contact with Andrew without being in sight of him. As I told RAT that Andrew was coming, we both saw him enter the north end of the cafeteria. He didn't search for us, seeming to know exactly where we would be sitting. I had to find out how he did that.
"No." he said to both of us as he sat down. "You're not trained to probe memory. It could be dangerous for both of you."
"Is there someone who is trained ?" I asked silently.
"Yes, but they are not strong enough to do it successfully." he responded. I just sat and looked at his eyes without saying anything. "Yes, you likely are strong enough, but you're not yet trained." He answered a question I had not even asked.
"I would be willing to let him try." RAT volunteered. "We'd sooner do it with the Brothers' help, than try it on our own." That got him a stern glare from Andrew.
"You have pledged your loyalty and co-operation to the Fraternity." Andrew told us both sternly. "Do not threaten your Brothers, even in veiled terms."
"He didn't mean it that way, Andrew. Really." I insisted and my 'big Brother' eased off. "You know I wouldn't proceed without you or Brad, I've learned from my mistakes."
"I'm sorry, Brother Andrew." RAT apologized. "I got carried away. It won't happen again, Sir. I promise. Whatever the Brothers decide will be acceptable to me. It's just this thing has been nagging at me for so many years and since you all made me aware of my abilities, it's come forward into my thoughts again. That's why you picked up about Grandpa Phelps from me last night. Then I had this immediate fear that you were going to tell, but I don't know what it is that I'm afraid of being told."
"Rat, I want you to come back to the House with me." Andrew told him. "We're going to talk and then we're going to see Dr. Bayer and some of his team. Tick, I'll let you know what's happening as soon as something is decided. Until then, back to your classes and make sure you get your exercise routine done. I think Sandy is looking for you to share your exercises today."
Ellis and I each had one class left in the afternoon and after completing it, we went to the Sports Complex to use my small gym for my exercise routine and for him to practice free throws at one of the hoops mounted on the wall. Coach Banks had arranged for me to have a key, so that I was free to use the facility whenever I had the opportunity. Sandy met up with us as we entered the complex and asked, if he could workout with me. Of course, I was happy to have his company and the routine seemed to take less time than normally. Sandy tactfully asked questions about certain parts of the routine, which in fact pointed out areas I had been skimping on completing. Bringing my attention to what I had been doing allowed us to make corrections in the routine to better balance the results it was designed to stimulate.
I was concerned I had not heard anything about RAT all afternoon. When we reported to the House for study period, Brother Harry was present to supervise, Andrew apparently still being occupied. We left for dinner at 5:p.m. and I was pleased to find RAT and Andrew waiting for us at the cafeteria. There was not an opportunity for me to speak alone with RAT and I wasn't sure enough about directing our thought communication to try anything with everyone else being around.
We were all back to the House for our standard six o'clock meeting, but tonight it seems the activities were going to be different than we had anticipated. The meeting was again in the big lecture room, where we had finished last night and again the entire House was present, including Coach Banks, Dr. Bayer and his team. At the front of the room was a table with four chairs, two on one side and two on the other. Dr. Bayer stepped up to the table and waited a brief moment until there was total silence.
"There is going to be an experiment attempted tonight." he informed all of us. "Memory recovery is something we have experimented with before, but with limited success. In the past, we have always found that the Reader attempting to recover memory from a subject has not been strong enough to isolate the specific synapses to evoke the chemical reactions, which produce the desired memory. In the case of a blocked memory such as this, there appears to be a mix of chemicals reacting to a single stimulus and no Reader we have worked with has been able to separate the reactions and draw forth an accurate image."
"Tonight, we are going to experiment using the two strongest Readers available." Brother Andrew stated. "Pledge Joe will serve as primary Reader and I will attempt to lend him as much of my support as I possibly can." They called RAT, Brad, who had come from AGE House to be with us during this experiment, Andrew and me to the table. RAT and I sat opposite each other, with Andrew and Brad taking the other seats.
"Are you sure about this ?" I asked RAT as I faced him, looking at his responses carefully. It was obvious to me he was very nervous, but he nodded his assurance to me and I could sense his determination.
"I place myself in the hands of my Brothers." he told me and I could see for the first time he really understood what it meant.
"I'd like to try this on my own, first." I stated, which started a buzz among Dr. Bayer and his team.
"That will be fine, Tick." Andrew responded and the discussions ended, with Andrew taking some sharp looks from the team. "I will come with you as support."
"I'm ready." I stated and Andrew asked RAT if he was too. He nodded.
"Robert, I want you to relax as much as you can under the circumstances and think about your Grandpa Phelps." Andrew coached him. "Think about all the times you and your family shared with him. Just let your mind wander over events, which involved Grandpa Phelps. I closed my eyes and focused on RAT.
I had an image fixed in my mind of a pleasant looking elder man. I saw events pass through my thoughts about Christmas times, visits and trips. As the images passed by me it seemed like I was standing, watching a large movie screen with a story playing out on it. Andrew stood on one side of me and RAT stood on the other. The screen paused on a scene of a cottage, beach and dock on a lake. The impression of summer vacation struck me. As I looked around, a young boy maybe 9 or 10 was playing on a beach of sand by the edge of the lake. I noted the ring on his finger, which identified him for me as RAT. The elder man, whose image was the one I had seen repeatedly was in a small outboard motor boat, the bow of which was loosely wedged into the sand on the beach, but the boat basically continued to float free, not being secured. Another youngster about 12 or 13 was also on the beach, near the bow of the boat. A man of about 35 was standing on the dock.
"I'm taking Robbie for a ride this time." the elder man in the boat declared. "He hasn't had a chance to ride all day with David running all over the lake with the boat. David had his turn, now it's Robbie's turn."
"I don't care." the older boy on the beach shouted out defiantly. "If RAT's going, I am too."
"Sorry, not this time David." his Grandfather affirmed, stepping carefully from the bow to the rear of the boat, apparently to start the motor." The screen before me became a splash of colours; images lost in a confused melee of swirls and patterns, then went grey.
"It was an accident." the angry face before me now yelled. A dozen different images of the man saying the same message in the same way flashed before me. Then there was a 30ish woman, comforting the young boy, who was now crying.
"It's all a big mistake, Robbie." she cooed to him as his tears flowed. "You know it had to be an accident, don't you ? It's all a horrible mistake." She embraced the young boy and tried to comfort him.
"Whoa," I told myself, "this doesn't seem right at all." As I thought about it, the apparition reversed to the point where the blur of colour had first begun. "This shading doesn't belong here." I extended my hand and erased the inappropriate area. "There's too much of the greys in this too." Again I erased the camouflage, which blurred my sight. This process was repeated several times and eventually I was left with a screen, which pictured the beach scene I had been watching when the blur imposed itself.
The beach representation began again from the start. When it reached the point the blur of colour had begun, it was now clear.
"Sorry, not this time David." his Grandfather affirmed, stepping carefully from the bow to the rear of the boat, apparently to start the motor."
"Well he's not going either then." David shouted. He ran to the bow of the boat and gave it his best shove to propel it away from the shore. As we all stood and watched, the force of David's push, caused the elderly man to lose his balance and he fell backward, hitting the back of his head on one of the seats.
"Jim!" the man on the dock shouted as he watch the boat glide past the end of the dock, further out into the lake, waiting for the elder man to respond. There was no movement. The man leapt from the dock into the lake and quickly captured the loose boat. He swam back to shore, dragging the boat. "Susan! Come here quickly!" he shouted to the cottage. The woman who had been comforting the young boy in the later sequence came running from the cottage.
"Grandpa. Grandpa." the young boy cried as he ran to the boat. The older boy stood rigid where he was. Their Father leaned into the boat, checking on Grandpa.
"Oh, God." he moaned. "There's been a terrible accident. He's dead."
"Daddy! Daddy!" his wife screamed and burst into tears, collapsing into the sand. The Father intercepted the youngest boy as he was running to the boat and handed him to his wife. She clasped him tightly against her as she continued to sob.
"This was an accident." the Father declared, staring intensely at his eldest son. "An unfortunate accident. Your Grandpa tripped and fell backward when he tried to pull the starter cord on the motor." Everything around me went blank and I was surrounded by grey. I opened my eyes and stared directly into RAT's eyes, out of which tears were streaming.
"Are you going to be okay ?" I asked. He nodded.
"I had to know." he responded. "Andrew helped me prepare this afternoon. He warned me it might be something, which would hurt me, but I had to find out. Thanks, Joe."
"How long did it take ?" I asked aloud, while I reached over and placed my hands over RAT"S. I found I had no concept of time passage while I had been in RAT's memory.
"About 10 seconds." Andrew responded. "Both Brad and I saw it as well."
Dr. Bayer, Andrew, Brad and I sat in an office next to the lecture hall where the rest of the House was still gathered.
"Are you all right ?" Brad questioned. "Did you have any problems sorting through RAT's thoughts and memories ?"
"No and I feel fine." I responded. "It didn't seem nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Once we started, everything just started to fall into place."
"That's not how it appeared to me." Andrew said. "I watched you sort through that blur of colours over and over, until you had removed everything obscuring the true picture. It was truly unbelievable."
"It couldn't have happened without your support, Andrew." I testified. "I knew I didn't have to be concerned about anything except what I was doing. Knowing you were there, ready to step in, made me certain enough to press on without concern I would miss something important. It freed me to use all my concentration for the task at hand."
"Joe, I believe we should start your training at a very advanced level. Your Mother and Father have already brought you to a level beyond that of most Brothers with even four years of training." Dr. Bayer suggested. "I would like you to join the team Andrew and Brad are going to be working with. It will apply as a full credit in your schooling this year and will require about the same amount of work as any other class."
"I'd really like to work with Andrew and Brad, Sir." I affirmed.
"Has Andrew told you about his plans ?" he asked both Brad and myself. We both turned to Andrew, looking for clarification of the question. He smiled.
"I've decided to stay on next year and work with Dr. Bayer on post-Graduate studies." Andrew explained. "I'm waiting until after the Pledge Class is inducted, before announcing my intention and petitioning to remain resident in the Frat House as a Graduate." I found I was instantly elated, knowing Andrew would not be leaving. It occurred to me that I had been very concerned about not having Andrew here; I had just not dealt with it as yet. Brad and I both congratulated Andrew and made it known to him how much we favoured his decision. We each embraced him tightly.
"What is going to happen now with RAT ?" I wanted to know.
"I arranged counselling for RAT before we undertook this experiment with him and he agreed to participate, no matter what the outcome." Andrew said.
"One of my Associates, a very excellent Clinical Psychologist, will be seeing RAT(?)." Dr. Bayer detailed, with an unasked question noted about the name. "The recall of traumatic, blocked memories is a very sensitive issue in pursuing legal recourse. The events he now recalls, definitely indicate a wrongful death, but it involved an 11 or 12- year-old boy, about 9 or 10 years ago. The real crime I see is what RAT's parents, particularly his Father have done in forcing him to disallow what he saw and re-interpret it with a spin. I don't know if that could ever be proven. Seeing that RAT is able to take possession of his own memories and feelings is what we are primarily concerned about. I am certain a strong, young man like him, with such a positive self image and so much support will bounce back quickly."
"And how will the Brothers see RAT in light of what's happened ?" I questioned further. "Will this affect his acceptance ?"
"What do you think, Tick ?" Brad asked.
"I think it shouldn't make any more difference than Kirk's or Gary's difficulties have." I answered. "I believe they can all feel secure by putting themselves in the hands of their Brothers."
After the Class showered Thursday night, we joined our new twins and went to our bedrooms. As arranged last night, I was twinned with Gary while Kirk and Ellis were together. We all were in the same room. The other three wanted to talk about what I had done with RAT this evening and I told them as much as I could without disclosing anything, which was RAT's private business.
After our discussion, each of them wanted to try to send and receive messages with me, because I had been in the meeting this evening while they were doing this with the rest of the House. I received a message from each of them and then sent each one. I noted right off that Gary had the message before I sent it to him.
"Kirk, send me another message." I requested. He nodded, but before he could, I stopped him. "Gary, what was the message ?" Gary repeated it. "Gary, you're a Reader."
"Do you really think so ?" Gary asked and I nodded. "Neat." he said smiling a mile wide.
"It's a lot more work and responsibility," I warned him, "but the satisfaction when you can do something like we did tonight, makes it very much worthwhile." He just continued to beam at me.
Later as Gary and I lay together in bed, we talked quietly about all that had happened this past week. He told me how special the Pledge weeks had been to him and that it had been an experience he never dreamed of actually having.
"I wouldn't have made it any farther than the first hour, if it hadn't been for you offering to take my reprimand." he acknowledged. "The guidance Dr. Bayer has given me in counselling has helped to change my life, so I have released some of the past and am not as fearful as I was. I know now there are people in the world I can trust absolutely, like the Fraternity Brothers and my Pledge brothers, but especially you."
"You have come a very long way, Gary, in a very short time." I said. "Most of the success you have had is because of your own efforts, no one else. I know you feel indebted, but a debt of kindness to a friend is really no debt at all. I also know what you want to propose to demonstrate your friendship and I must decline. Your friendship is all that I ever want as demonstration." There was silence between us for a few moments.
"Joe, will you hold me, while we go to sleep ?" he asked. I spooned behind him and put my arms over him as Kirk, Rat and Gavin had done, making the same secure haven that had been provided me by so many of my brothers. We both slept soundly and peacefully.
Friday started out as a different day. Our wakeup call came as usual, but as we all raced to form our line in the hallway, each bearing our roll of Lifesavers and rushing not to be among the last, we found an absence of the Pledge Master, or indeed any Brother, waiting to address us. After standing and waiting for several minutes, we proceeded with our routine and assembled in front of the House for our morning run. Again, there was an absence of supervision, so off we went, the entire Pledge Class on the regular route of 5 miles. The group stayed together during our run, accommodating the slower runners.
Returning to the House, we showered, dressed and went as a group to breakfast at the cafeteria. When we all walked into the eatery, the Brothers all stood and applauded.
"Congratulations, my children." Pledge Master Vince called out. "All managed on your own, without any grownup supervision. There looks to be hope for all of you yet. No arguments, no delays, just right through your morning routine without a hitch." As we started coming out of the food lines, instead of going to the tables where we normally ate as a Class, a couple of the Brothers were waiting to send us over to where the other Brothers sat. Interspersed among them, were empty seats and we were invited to sit and eat with the rest of the House.
Conversations at the breakfast tables were active and sometimes animated. Pledges were questioned on matters of Fraternity business and their opinions were asked about how planning for the future of the Fraternity should be conducted. Ethics became a group topic and was thoroughly explored. By the end of breakfast, I noted that most of the talking had been done by the Pledges and even those who normally preferred to sit back and listen had been drawn out and obliged to offer opinions on several matters.
Classes today were almost lonely with no twin to tend to. At two o'clock, Andrew walked up to me and suggested he had an hour and would like to go and do my exercise routine with me. I was happy to have his company, so we went back to the House and used the basement exercise room.
"How are you feeling about the session with RAT last night ?" Andrew asked me.
"I feel great." I responded.
"Were you aware of being tired afterward ?" he inquired.
"No." I told him. "I did have a feeling of elation knowing we had been able to help our brother with something that had troubled him for so very long. I also felt very angry about what had been done to him. I'm still mad about it."
"I think we all had some feelings about that, Tick." Andrew noted. "As his brothers, how could we feel otherwise ? Can I ask you something personal ?"
"Anything." I stated. "I have no secrets from you and Brad."
"I appreciate that thought, Tick." he told me. "How are things between you and Vince now ?"
"We've reached an understanding that I hope will allow us to be friends." I explained. "I was infatuated with Vince. I guess he is the first older, gay man, who has ever been interested in me as a person. It was flattering and I was impressed. Not having any real experience, I took it as more meaningful than he apparently did. Now I've learned that a handsome face and knockout body, with charm and wit are not the complete package. There needs to be substance there too. As you counselled me, the love portion needed to be there." Andrew had been stretching slowly while I was talking and he now stopped and turned to face me directly.
"Vince is not the first, older, gay man, who has had interest in you as a person." he advised me. "It seemed unfair for someone who might only be around here one more year to ask you to become involved, with a' wait to see' what was to happen next year attitude. Now things are different. I'm going to be staying here at least as long as you'll be here. I've loved you for a very long time, Tick. Until you turned 18, it was something that I had no right to share with you, but if you have any feelings for me that go beyond our relationship as Brothers and friends, I would hope you could make them known." Andrew stepped up to me, put his arms around me gently and kissed me. Not a peck on the top of the head like Dad, or a brotherly lip press on the forehead, a full blown, sweep you off your feet, curl your toes right to the knees, fall down 'cause your legs won't hold you up anymore, deep throat, tonsil licking kiss. My world spun out of control and my mind was filled with the maleness of our sweaty scent and the hard, softness as our bodies pressed together as my feelings for Andrew, which I had always held in check because of my respect for him, flooded throughout my mind. "Think everything over carefully. Remember, I'm forever." he said when he released me and then he left. I stood there for at least 5 minutes, unsure of what I should do next.