Gomen nasai! I apologize for disappearing for 7 months! I've had a rough time and haven't been able to write at all. I hope you all would rather wait for good stuff than to get crap from me on a regular basis! So here we go!
Mothers & Sons: Awake with the Birds
I awoke slowly, sliding out of a dream I didn't want to leave. I had dreamt of the prairie and the sun, and oddly enough, of birds hiding in the long grass in early spring. The dream must have been a memory from my childhood, because I had had to look very high up in the air to see the flying birds. I also hadn't needed to bend down very far to see their hidden nests.
I stretched, a long bone cracking stretch that left me feeling rather like an invertebrate. For a moment, I just lay there floating in a sea of warmth and contentment enjoying the warm February sun streaming in through the window. Whiskers- the Siamese- was sprawled out nearby, soaking up the sun. Kel was not in bed, but I wasn't unduly concerned. Kel, I had learned since moving in, kept odd hours and would go write whenever inspiration hit him. I had learned a lot of things about my lover since I'd moved in.
For one, I now knew how he got away with having a "highly illegal" wolf: Kel was the neighborhood nanny. Twice a week he took Mrs. Witsky shopping, and he had a regular schedule of other elderly ladies and gentlemen that he made sure got to their doctor's appointments, hair appointments, and other sundry places. He was always running up the street to help someone unload their car, hold up sheetrock or just to help with whatever little chore they had going.
Most surprising to me was how many women had Kel's number as an emergency babysitter. One morning, about two weeks after he had gotten home from the hospital, I went downstairs to ask him if he wanted to go to lunch. I was on winter hiatus from work: it was too rainy and muddy to do much work.
"I can't," he said, looking up from his computer. "I'm watch Marie's two kids today."
"You're what?" I asked puzzled.
"Babysitting," he said.
"Babysitting?" I repeated puzzled.
"Josh," he said patiently, "do try to keep up here! Yes, I am babysitting today. Apparently Marie's sitter cancelled at the very last minute, and so she called me quite apologetic and deeply flustered."
He studied his hands a moment. "She was afraid I'd not want to, having been so sick, but she was frantic. She has one of those "you'd better be dying" bosses, so she couldn't take time off, and Jake can't get back to watch them."
He looked up at me, a sad expression on his face. "I love kids, I was really looking forward to having some of my own with Kara, but-"
He looked away from me. My heart clenched- so many times I had thought he'd make a great father! I wished again, for the millionth time that I could give him a child. In three long strides, I was across the room, and gathered him into my arms. He snuggled up close and raised his face for a kiss; ever the gentleman, I obliged him.
I slid out of bed, and scooped up a pair of jeans off the floor. I dimly remembered articles of clothing being tossed willy-nilly around the room in the heat of passion the night before. I smiled: Kel wasn't what I had dreamed about all those long days riding the prairie. But he was so much more exciting and unpredictable than any of those two-dimensional, predictable lovers had ever been. And passionate, in a way I hadn't known or understood then.
The house was quiet as I walked down the hall to the kitchen. The patio door was open, and the cold air blowing in got my immediate attention. I crossed the room quickly and stopped at the door. Kel was leaning against one of the patio cover supports, staring out into the yard.
"Kel," I said softly.
He half turned. "I was just thinking about Virginia Woolf. I remember reading her in college," he said softly, his face in shadow. "Such a miserable, sad woman. She got up one morning and waded out into a lake or river, I forget which, and threw herself in."
"She drowned," he whispered softly.
"Kel," I said again. "Oh Kel."
Kel stepped closer to me and smiled sweetly. "Have no fear, I have absolutely NO intentions of drowning myself. Unless it's in endless shots of cum from you!"
I blushed, and he laughed. "The simple truth is I sleep walk sometimes, well more like my mind takes a walkabout and takes my body along for company." His eyes sparkled with mischief, and then went sober again. "I remember wondering in college if Virginia sleepwalked as well. And if that's what happened to her." He studied my face. "Anyway, I woke up out here, and it was so quiet I just stayed here."
""Kel," I said pulling him into my arms. He snuggled in close and looped an arm around my waist.
"That's one of the reasons for the lock on the downstairs door. When I was in my teens and behaving erratically, it was safer to keep me contained than risk what I might do."
I nodded, remembering something his mother had said to me in the hospital. We had been drinking coffee and talking, some time after Kel had told me about his dad.
"Randy would yell at me 'Nina can't you control your damned son! Here do something with him.' And I'd take him and half the time just pop him downstairs and lock the door, so I could have a moments quiet." She had looked at her hands, and then back up at me, guilt plainly written on her fragile face. "Sometimes I was just so tired from work or the mountain of chores I had around the house, that I just needed him 'not there' for a little while."
"I think I understand, Nina," I had said softly.
"But I could never leave it locked for long," her eyes pleaded with me to understand, "I was always so terrified of fire or if something happened to Randy or me and he'd be locked in to die."
I shivered and rubbed Kel's back. He tightened his grasp around my waist and looked up at me. I leaned down and kissed him. He melted against me.
"It's cold out here," I murmured. "Let's go back in where it's warm." Kel grinned at me, and we walked- arm in arm- back into the warm house.
Sometime later, I propped myself up on my arm and looked down at Kel drowsing on the pillow beside me. His long eyelashes lay on his cheek like a shadow; again I admired his clear flawless skin. He smiled when I caressed his shoulder. I combed his tangled curls back from his face, and offered up a small prayer of gratitude for having him dropped in my lap.
"How have your appointments with," I searched my mind for the name, "Lisamarie gone?"
He opened his eyes; they glittered like emeralds. "Very well. I like her a lot. You know, she's a close friend of Alejhandro." I nodded. "Well apparently she wasn't abused but her step brother was." He sighed, and rolled onto his back.
"Lisamarie says he was extremely badly abused by his mother and by the time his father got custody, all he'd do is hide under the bed in his room. He had to be coaxed out like a kitten," Kel's eyes were glassy with tears.
"Holy mother," I whispered.
"WHY, JOSH!" Kel rolled over and gripped my arms. "Why isn't there something to help us? Someone to help us?"
I shivered, 'us' he'd said not 'them' but 'us'. For a moment I felt like an outsider, but I pushed it away, and pulled him into my arms. His shoulders shook briefly, then he relaxed against me.
"Kel," I said softly. "Remember what you and Kaleb were talking about at Christmas? About setting up a foundation for abused kids? Maybe it's time to start working on it."
Kel sat up abruptly, his head narrowly missing my chin. A huge grin spread across his face. "YES!" He shouted. "That's it! I just need to stop whining and looking for everyone else to do something. I need to do it!"
"Just so long as you don't expect to save the world," I said gently.
He frowned and then smiled, "No, of course not, but I can maybe save one or two kids' world."
I hugged him and then kissed him, sliding back down into the bed. We were just getting going when the phone rang. Kel shot up and grabbed it. I sighed and lay back with a smile. My sweet Kel, always so worried that someone will need him and not be able to get him. He talked for a minute, then hung up and rolled back against me.
"That was Sarah, she is an old friend of mine." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "We were both chasing the same guy for awhile in college." He studied his fingernails a moment then looked up, mischief sparkling in his eyes. "Apparently she runs faster than I do!"
He chuckled, "She asked me if I could watch her son Jeff for a couple hours. She needs to run into Seattle, and hates to take him along. He's three and has zilch patience with Seattle traffic!"
I quirked an eyebrow at him, remembering a rather memorable swearing session one time we were stuck in traffic. Without a word I had got out of the Cougar and walked around to the driver's side and gestured for him to move. He had started to protest but I suppose something about my expression had convinced him that moving was the better option. He had slid over, and I finished the drive home.
He grinned, "Glad you're going to take the 'Stang into be serviced today?"
I laughed, and kissed him again. Eventually I managed to get into the shower and get cleaned up. The 'Stang was going in to be serviced by Xan personally. Since he was the one who had rebuilt the engine, he insisted on being the one to service it. I didn't complain, he cut me a good price and I got to hang out with him for a while.
Xan was standing outside talking to his co-worker, Dane, when I pulled into the garage's parking lot. I'd met Dane before on several occasions; he and Xan had been friends since their early teens. Xan had even dated Dane's sister for a while.
"YOSS!" Xan yelled.
He bounced up to the car, arms out, and scooped me into a bear hug almost before I was out of the car. He smelled of grease and sweat, and despite the chill in the air his shirt was unbuttoned, showing off a sexy stripe of grease tipped blond chest hair. I resisted the urge to run my fingers through it, but I managed to get a quick feel of his belly. He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Hey Josh," Dane said.
"'Lo," I said, my voice breathless from being squeezed by Xan.
Dane shook his head, and took my keys. He drove the car into the bay; Xan and I followed. Xan's hand rested on my shoulder; it was a simple touch that I deeply treasured. At first I had been concerned about how affectionate Xan was, but as I spent more time with him at the shop, I had come to realize that mechanics were a very touchy group of people. It seemed that someone was always patting someone else on the back; arms flung around necks were a common greeting, and several other small contacts throughout the day. My concerns faded after that, and I relaxed enough to return some of Xan affection.
"Ow are oo?" He asked.
"Very good," I answered looking him in the eyes. I flicked a lock of grease stained blond hair out of his eyes.
"You should wear a hat," I growled.
"Nah," he laughed. "Kayeb wash it fo meh."
"You're such a princess," I said with a snort.
He laughed, and walked around to the front of the car. Dane already had the hood up and was looking underneath it. As a deaf mechanic, Xan had fascinated me from the first moment we met, and watching him now was no exception. Together, Xan and Dane looked over the 'Stang and gave it a complete service. It was a pleasure watching them; they worked smoothly and comfortably together.
When they were finished, Xan straightened up and stretched, giving me an even better view of his delicious chest and belly. He gestured to me to follow him and I did: out of the garage into the main lobby, around the desk, and down the hall to the break room. I shivered, remembering the last time I was in the room. It had been after my encounter with the hateful jewelry store clerk.
Inside the break room Xan poured a handful of change into the vending machine and hit the Coke button twice. Surprisingly, two Cokes came out but no change. I shook my head in amazement, and he grinned at me, then tossed me one of the cans. I caught it easily and had drunk half the can before Xan sat down.
"Ow ih Keh?" He asked.
"Very good."
Xan nodded, and stretched back behind him to a small cluttered table, finding a couple pieces of paper with one side blank, and a pencil. He handed them to me.
"Parzz orer foam," he said with a shrug. "No on miss, oo wri on em. So teh meh wha up?"
"Okay," I said. I wrote out our my conversation about the foundation from that morning, and Xan read along making satisfied agreeing noises. He asked a few questions and I answered them, my small handwriting filling up first one sheet then another.
"Ih goo idih, make Keh happy an kep im bissy. May im fih like E mayin a divrenc. E not ave tie to thin baa thins then," Xan nodded satisfied with this solution. I grinned at him. Of course it was Kaleb's idea but Xan would take as much credit as he could get!
"Day an I, we goo-," Xan scowled and reached for another piece of paper. Rapidly he wrote on it, and then handed it to me. I studied it a moment and then turned it upside down. Xan's handwriting runs the gamut from very legible to make-a-doctor-embarrassed bad; right now it was looking pretty awful.
Xan growled, and snatched the paper away, I reached for it, but he wadded it up and launched it at the garbage can. He snagged another paper off the back table and started writing again. I watched his head bent over the paper, thick curly blond hair pulled back, a few tendrils falling forward. For once, his hands weren't flying around from signing, and I studied them. Strong, long fingered and callused, and in spite of the gloves he usually wore, streaked with grease.
He looked up at me with a mock snarl curling his lip. I gave him my best innocent look, and held out my hand. He handed me the paper and flung himself backwards in his chair, slumping down like a teenager trying to look tough. I grinned and read the paper, which still wasn't the easiest thing to do. Xan's brand of written English includes several abbreviations, and ample use of symbols such as the ampersand, numerals and slashes.
"Dane and I are going to buy our own garage. It's fairly easy getting the money with Kaleb backing it. We are looking at locations, trying to decide where would be best. Dane is really excited, and so am I. Kaleb is pleased-- he likes to see businesses grow. Gives me some bluster about money being like manure, encouraging little things to grow. And he says it would be good for me, confidence builder, self-esteem booster and all that crap. hahaha. Like I need more self esteem!" I looked up and grinned at Xan.
"I feel the most strongly about it, because it's very hard for deaf people to deal with the hearing community. And in cars, where we can't hear noises and we have difficulty explaining to a mechanic just WHY we think there is something wrong. You go try to explain the differences in vibration to a hearing person, and you'll see why a garage run by a deaf person will be an asset to the whole community."
I looked solemnly up at Xan and nodded. "It's a wonderful idea," I said in a choked whisper.
"Yurr," he growled and gestured for me to return the paper. I handed it back to him and he wrote rapidly across the bottom. He handed it back with a Cheshire cat like grin.
"And it will be a rarity, so it will make LOTS of $$$$!!!!!!!!!!!," was scribbled along the bottom.
I let out a roar, half of laughter and half of irritation, wadded up the paper and threw it at him. He roared with laughter and blocked the paper, sending it flying off into a corner. I leaned across the table.
"You BRAT!" I shouted.
"Oh ush," he said.
Xan laughed and leaned forward, grabbing my face and pulling it close to his. Before I knew what was happening his lips locked on mine. I stiffened, and then sagged forward, as he made love to my lips and tongue. Heat flowed through my body and my heart pounded loud enough, I was certain, to hear in the office. Xan let go of my head and sat back. My arms wobbled as I struggled to keep from collapsing onto the table.
"Ah luf oo Yoss. Buh oo can't gih meh whu ah nee, Kayeb can. Kayeb gih meh whu ah need ih ere," he tapped his chest. "Buh ah allwah ere foo oo, Yoss. Coun o dah!"
I collapsed into my chair completely thunderstruck, my emotions and head whirling with that confession. I leaned forward and dropped my head into my hands. Kel, Kel, Kel, my precious, beautiful Kel, why do things have to be so complicated? Xan came around the table and wrapped his arms around me, just holding me and crooning an odd tuneless sound. I cradled his head in my hand and pulled it up.
"You really are a brat, you know," I said softly
He nodded, "Kayeb say duh same tin."
I left soon afterwards, and headed home. Home, where Crystal and Tova and most especially, where Kel was waiting for me. I smiled, feeling far more at peace than I had been for some time. Now it was time to kick back and just enjoy life, and enjoy holding Kel in my arms. I wasn't sure what the future had in store for us but I suspected it wasn't going to be boring.
June 24, 2005
If anyone is interested in more of my writings they can be located at www.dragonstoryteller.com. This includes the WHOLE monster Saga of Josh and Kel, plus Micah, Shilo and a nifty( no pun intended) little werewolf story! GO GO! Make my webmaster happy!