I was so happy to get out of the orphanage I didn't care who was willing to take me. As it turned out my foster mother, Greta, was ok I guess. I say ok because she was so strict and dominant. A large woman and a widow at a young age, she seemed to only have lady friends. I was just 10 yrs. old at the time I came to live with her and right away my home schooling started. I along with five girls were home schooled by the several mothers involved. I didn't mind playing with the girls but I missed seeing any boys.
Things were pretty uneventful for the next six years as I studied and worked around the house. Greta had me busy doing house work when I wasn't studying. I was kind of frail at that age and she did not think I was suited for yard work or repair work. For this she had men come over. I noticed that at about age 15 some of these men began to stare at me. I could not understand why. I had grown to 5'5" and 120# at that age, with a bit of growth yet to come hopefully. Greta insisted that I wear my hair long, so I kept it pulled back with a clasp.
I began to experience sexual stirrings at that time. I seemed to be late blooming in that department. I mean, I hadn't even had a voice change or grown the male "adams apple". What bothered me was that when one of the men looked at me I would blush and later in the bathroom I would pull down my short shorts, caress my nipples, and manipulate my slender,tapered, 3 and a half inch penis while thinking about the big man who had looked at me, wondering what he was thinking. I would , instinctively it seemed, press my penis flat against my mound and rub the underside of it with the ends of my fingers and then begin to get a delicious tickling feeling deep in the root of my belly, it seemed to come from somewhere up in my rectum. When I did this playing with myself I would also instinctively spread my thighs open, and rythmically curl my hips against my pressing fingers. I didn't understand why I felt a need to do that. Then I would reach a glowing peak that lasted at least a couple of minutes as I slowly rubbed my erect little member while my small testicles seemed to draw up into my belly. Then my penis would go soft and return to its 1 and a half inch nubby length. I would always get a little wetting of the small glans of my member, as well as a wet sticky spot in my pubic hair when I did this. This happened numerous times, and I worried that I never ejaculated like I had heard that other boys did.
I finally decided one day that I had to talk to Greta about my late-blooming concerns. She was a nurse who worked for an Ob-Gyn. She had already, three years earlier, taken me,late one evening, to visit the doctor she worked for to have me examined. He checked me over, taking my clothes completely off and probing me all over. It was embarassing when he put my legs up in these strange looking stirrups and got down between my legs and probed my pee-pee, testicles and anus!! Anyway the next day Greta started me on a regimen of three vitamin pills spaced out over each month for each of the pills. These vitamins were to help me grow normally. Now, much later, it was obvious to me that I was not growing normally. I mean,I was growing,but in the wrong places. My thighs had filled out in a pronounced way, my hips had widened, and my buttocks had filled out and softened so much that it was alarming. My jockey shorts didn't really fit anymore. In the meantime, my upper body had not filled out at all, except that I had developed a little swell in my chest and my aureolae's had expanded way beyond what a normal boy would have. Not only that but my nipples had increased to the size of a pencil eraser and stuck out and hardened when I caressed them. I had to express my concern to her.
"Mother Greta, there's something private that I need to talk with you about."
"Yes, what is it Ashley?"
"Well, I'm 15 years old and I should be developing as a male, and I am not. The vitamins you have me on don't seem to be working. What can we do about it all?"
"My dear, don't worry about it. You are developing just fine. You are healthy and that is what is important. You are just not very physical like other boys and your bodily features are not to be compared to other boys. Don't be concerned, just continue along and you will like what is happening to you. You are beginning to have sexual feelings are you?"
"Well, yes, oh, this is so embarassing!"
"Sweet child don't be! I understand everything you are going through. Remember, I was your age a long time ago."
"Alright, yes, I have sexual feelings that get me excited, but I don't know what it is that I want to happen."
"Have you been around any boys lately?"
"No but I've been out on the porch in my shorts and tee shirt watering the plants when a couple of the workmen have been here, and...and..they... stared at me...until I was uncomfortable and went inside.
"Well, you were wearing your tight shorts that are getting too tight now. No wonder they looked at your body... your curves were showing honey. And you have such a full mons pubis and nothing showing between your thighs but a split, I guess they could be forgiven for thinking you had a vagina down there!"
"You see what I mean? I AM starting to look like a girl!"
Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I felt so confused.
"Little one we must accept the way you are. Don't worry as I have said. I am going to break down and spend some money on proper clothes for you, and I will do that this afternoon!"
That evening, when she came in late from work, I already had dinner ready for us and her friend Mandy, who was coming over for the evening. They had been together a lot lately, and some times Mandy stayed over, sleeping in Greta's room. I thought something was going on between them but in my ignorance I did not know what. She brought in two or threed bags and a couple of boxes. She immediately paraded me into my bedroom and began to spread out the clothes.
"But mother Greta, these are girls panties!", I said looking down on the first articles laid on the bed.
"Honey, it's time we accepted that you are going to have to dress as a girl to look normal. You will look like a freak trying to dress as a boy. I got you mostly jeans and slacks, but they had to be girls in order to get a fit for you. I mean look at you, you will be sixteen soon and you have 35" hips and a 28" inch waist. No boy pants will fit that."
I sighed in resignation and agreed to try on the clothes. I hated to admit it but the panties, nylon hip-huggers, fit perfectly. But more important they felt like me. I was immediately comfortable in them. They caressed my smooth sensitive skin perfectly. The training bra felt a bit confining and strange at first. The jeans and slacks and blouses all fit well.
She was looking at me examining my self before the full length mirror, looking around at my butt.
"You see, you're doing just what every teenage girl does, looking at your ass to see if it looks good enough to attract the attention of boys. I think it is time for you to receive testing and counseling from a psychologist/sex therapist. I know one personally and I am going to send you to her next week."
Chapter 2 to follow.