This is a continuation of the part-fantasy saga of Ashley's conversion from boy to woman. Hope you enjoy.
Would love to get feedback from you. Note the change in email address. rayeanne.
Chapter 2. My Journey Into Womanhood.
Greta drove me to the office of the sex therapist on Monday afternoon. I was dressed in panties, bra, tight white denim slacks, a loose-fitting pink slik blouse, and canvas deck shoes. Greta had insisted on painting my toenails and putting an ankle bracelet on my left leg. She told me that having these feminine decorations applied at first where they did not show publicly would help me get used to the feeling of having them on, even if it was secretly. I did not realize that the therapist was going to see what I was wearing!
When I was finally alone with Dr. Johnson, a middle aged attractive woman, we began to talk. We went over my history. How I was orphaned by the tragic death of my mother and father when I was nine years old as we were returning from France, where I had been raised from birth. I still spoke french very well. Then about my year in the orphanage before being rescued by Greta. We then moved quickly on to talk about what had happened to my body and about my sexual feelings that had developed since I came to live with Greta.
"Now tell me Ashley...by the way you should know that Ashley is a girl or a boy name.. how do your sexual responses feel?"
"Well, first my nipples start to tingle. They ache most of the time anyway, so I start to massage them. They harden then and I start to tingle in my crotch. Well, not in my crotch but up from there, inside me."
"That's interesting, you mean up in your anus? Somewhere up in your rectum?"
"Yes, that's where I feel the tickling-tingling, and it feels so..so..good."
"Ashley, do you know what the so-called 'g-spot' is?"
"N..no."
"Well what is happening is that one of your primary sexual response centers is getting turned on. You are actually capable of having an orgasm based solely on stimulation of your g-spot. Now what we need to explore is what are you thinking about when you experience this arousal. Tell me what experience you may have had just prior to this arousal and what thoughts came to your mind?"
"Well, I had been on the back porch watering some flowers, wearing a cut-off tee shirt and a pair of black short shorts, which were admittedly a bit too tight, but that's what I usually wore when doing housework. Anyway one of Greta part time yardmen, a great big man, burly and hairy, happened to be nearby and I noticed him staring at me with his mouth hanging open! And I saw that his work pants were sticking out somewhat in the crotch. I got nervous about this and soon went back inside. I had suddenly realized that this man was excited by the looks of me. I wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do with me, but his thingy responding like that told me he wanted to get hold of me and do something to me. That was when I started to respond as we discussed. And that was when I slipped into the bathroom and closed the door."
"And what did you do then, tell me in detail."
"I pushed down my shorts and pulled up my tee shirt. I started to caress my nipples with one hand and rub my penis with the other. It quickly began to feel very good."
"What do you mean you 'rubbed' your penis?"
"I mean I pressed it up against my mound, into my pubic bush, sort of instinctively I think, and I rubbed the underside of it with my fingers."
"That's not how boys masturbate. That is the way girls masturbate their clitoris."
"Oh? What is a clitoris?"
"Well, it is basically the remnants of a penis that didn't get to make it all the way. But it can provide sexual pleasure very similar to that provided a male by the erect, ejaculating penis, except that it doesn't ejaculate, though it will often emit sexual fluid, for some rathre vigorously! Now, tell me what follows when you perform this special masturbation."
"I..uh.. reach a peak. It's wonderful. I kind of lose control and my thighs spread open and my hips start to rotate up in rhythm with my pressing fingers pushing down on my penis. It is disturbing that my penis never gets real stiff and erect the way it did even just a year ago. But it still flows some as I peak."
"Ashley, this sounds just like female masturbation. I tell you what, I want to run some tests on you to see what is going on. Please go in the next room and take off all your clothes, put on the paper gown, and lie down on the padded table in there. I will bring in some instruments to be attached to you in a moment."
I went in, took off all my clothes and quickly got the paper gown to cover my modesty. Just as I got settled on my back on the table she came in with some strange looking instruments. She attached a clamp on one of my fingers and a cuff on my arm and then to my shock, pushed up the gown and seemed to be doing something to my shy little penis. She was putting a collar around the base of it! Then I saw a rubber covered tube, maybe an inch across, with what looked like a rubber bulb on the end of it, with a rubber tube running out the other end of it. Oh god, what was going on? She then pulled a TV in over my head and tilted it down, so that I could see it in the horizontal position. She then mounted a tape in a nearby VCR and turned it on. I noticed that Greta was standing by watching all this.
"Now, I want you to bend your knees, pull your heels back near your butt,OK?"
As I hesitantly pulled my thighs up and back she used her hands to spread my knees, opening my thighs to her view of my naked buttocks and genitals. I felt so embarassed, she was the first woman other than Greta to see my private parts.
"Good, now I'm going to insert a tube through your anus and well up into your rectum, this won't hurt, I will go slow with it."
But it did feel awkward, embarassing, and a little uncomfortable, at least until it was well up into my canal.
"Now, just watch this video."
Suddenly on the screen there was a naked man and what looked like a woman, also naked. Then there was a front view of both of them. I was shocked to see his penis. It was unbelievably huge, at least to me. I had never seen a man's penis before, much less one fully erect as this one was. The reason why he was so excited stood before him, curvy and voluptuous, and between her legs, a penis and testicles!! I found it interesting that her penis was about six inches long erect as it was. I didn't get erect anymore, but the longest ever for mine was 3 and a half inches. Now, though it got fluffed up, it never even got to 3, even while 'coming'. Yet, even with her relatively large member, this man seemed to be really hot for her. This started to excite me, and I got even more excited with what happened next. He began to kiss her and caress her as he laid her down on a bed and hovered over her. Soon he spread her legs and his hand roamed in her split, entering her anus. She began to moan. Then suddenly he mounted her and pulled her legs far up his back, and the camera showed his shaft pressing into her split. I really became excited when he started to enter her. I could not see how she could receive that awsome staff into her, but she did, as it slowly slid into her with each powerful thrust by the man. This thrusting went on for quite a while, him sinking deep into her belly and then almost all the way out. I was feeling tingly all over now and a little light headed. Finally he was slamming her so hard it made a splatting sound every time his muscular thighs met the soft full underside of her thighs. She was crying out almost as though she was in pain, but I knew she was not. I somehow knew she was getting a wonderful feeling from him. He slowed down now, long slow thrusts as she slowly curled her hips up to meet him. Then it appeared she must have climaxed and drove him over the edge as he discharged deep in her belly. I felt by this time that I was close to orgasm, but now I began to calm down even though my breathing was ragged and I was quivering all over. I just could not bear the embarassment of flowing off in front of the Dr. and Greta. All of this action took about 20 min., then it was all over and the TV was turned off.
"Very well, Greta, I believe we found out what we needed to know."
"Yes, I agree Kath. She is definitely responding as I predicted she would."
"What are you two talking about?"
"Honey, what the Dr. is saying is that your physiological responses were what we would expect from a teenage girl being exposed to the conduct of intercourse between a man and a woman."
"Specifically Ashley, your penis responded by twitching and pulsing late in the viewing session, actually spilling out a small amount of fluid, and at the same time your anus and rectal canal pulsed and contracted rather forcefully. You got very close to an external, or what we would call a 'clitoral', climax. At this point your essential femine nature must be accepted, recognized, and appreciated as expressing the essence of you."
I finally accepted that this was true. I now knew if I was to find sexual fulfilment and satisfaction, it would be due to a man bringing me to it, taking me and giving me his essence. We left the office and drove home in excited conversation about what I needed to do to become, at least for a long while to come, a full transexual. To become not just passable but beautiful and desireable. The Dr. had given a manual she had written for ts's who were new into it. I had been on hormones for years now and Greta was just now admitting to me that that is what she decided upon when I was ten years old. So physically I had a head start, even at age 15. I studied the manual in detail. How to develop the proper mannerisms and posture, makeup, clothing, hygeine, and of course explicit instructions about having sex with a man. I learned to say 'cock' instead of penis. I came to understand that I had an anal-vagina and a clitoris, and what it took for me to have both g-spot and clitoral orgasms. And I was introduced for the first time to the idea of giving head to a man.
In a few more months of even more intensive hormone therapy, now that it was out in the open, and a small surgery to tack up my little testicles under the fat of my mons pubis so that my panties would fit better, I was suddenly at my 16th birthday. I had finally topped out at 5'6" and 126#, with a 28" waist and 35" hips. I was still pretty skinny in the upper body, only 32" chest, with less than an A-cup swell, though my aoreoles were half dollar size now and my nipples stood out more than quarter of an inch when I became aroused.
One day I was trying on some daring new things Greta had bought me in the city on a recent visit she made there. There was not much choice of sexy things in our little town. I now wore a B-cup wonder bra with only a little stuffing it it becuase I had suddenly developed into a medium A-cup breast. I put on a thin white cut off tee shirt and a new pair of red low cut nylon/lycra shorts. They were so wicked, cut well below my navel and riding tight in my crotch and high on my buttocks. I wore open white sandals so my painted toenails showed, as well as my toe rings and ankle bracelet. I had started painting my finger nails as well since going public with my new feminine persona.
I had returned from art class, where I wore this outfit for the other girls to see. My art teacher had scolded me for looking so slutty. I couldn't help it, I was feeling so sexually aroused. The heavy hormones were making me emotionally unstable. I now here I was back from class and working in the kitchen dressed like this when the manager of the two workmen who came here a couple ot times a week entered the back door unannounced. I was a little startled when he stood before me, towering over me, staring at my skimpily clad body.
"Hey...you are fine lookin' in that outfit little lady. Your mama know you wear that outfit?"
"Uh...no..she doesn't. Is it all that revealing?" I stammered, feeling embarassed but aroused by the presence of this big man.
Suddenly he had me in his arms, feeling me up. His hands cupped my supple ass as he kissed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I instinctively responded by melting into his big chest.
"I tell you what baby, you need to be fucked but if I did that Greta would chase me out of here. So I'm gonna do something else."
Suddenly he stepped back and dropped his pants and shorts to reveal a huge cock springing up and throbbing. I was mesmerized by it. First by its majestic thick glans and thick long shaft and then by the realization that I had caused it to get in such an angry state to begin with. I felt a certaing sense of power in this but at the same time was overwhelmed with a submissive sense of surrender to his dominance.
"Here baby girl, take this in your sweet mouth."
The next thing I knew his throbbing head was in the back of my stretched open mouth, and he was thrusting his thing into my throat. I tried to push away but he held my head and literally fucked into it, slowly forcing the head past the constriction of my throat. I was struggling to breathe as he was now thrusting down my throat. Thankfully in only a few strokes he slowed down his thrusting and swelled even more in my throat and I felt his cock pulsing as he delivered his semen...cum... down my throat and into my tummy. I was so hot when he did that, even though I was getting no real sexual satisfaction out of this act. I did feel the familiar tingling in the root of my belly, and that was delicious just by itself. He quickly pulled out of me and hurriedly zipped up.
"Ahh.. that was good baby girl. I sure would like to get in your little pussy and shoot you full of my cum. Oh well, maybe later."
And he left, cautioning me not to tell Greta about any of this. I went to the bathroom to fix my makeup. I was so hot down there. I stripped my shorts and panties down. I was surprised to find a slick wet spot in the crotch of my panties AND in the seat! It was then that I found out that my anal vagina lubricated itself given a little time for it to happen. This was a great thrill to me for some reason. I thought about how my love tunnel had cloyed as he fucked my face, and had weeped out its preparation, only to be denied once again. I flowed off in my bush. This time it must have been nearly a teaspoonful!
I continued to see Dr. Johnson on a regular basis to condition me to my new found femininity while she also tracked my physical development. We had extensive discussions and instruction from photos showing intercourse, which always caused arousal. She finally got around to having me strip, lie on my back, pull my thighs far back, and have a dildo inserted in my pussy. It took a while to learn to open up myself upon the beginning of penetration. I soon was feeling little or no pain due to initial penetration. And the thrusting into me began to pleasure me. I initially had only internal g-spot orgasms, as she said would be the case. Finally after one session inwhich she worked on me for a long time with the dildo, which this time was a bigger one and more life-like, a had a clitoral orgasm. She said she saw my clit suddenly fluff up almost to erection as it started to flow its clear watery issue, and then it quickly had one spurt which jumped out about and inch from my little glans.
"OK Ashley, I think you've got the idea now. We won't need any more of these sessions. I just wanted to be sure you would respond fully in sexual intercourse. If you can do it with a dildo you will have a glorious time with a real man covering you and a real living cock thrusting into your sucking vagina."
I left that day not aware that as soon as Dr. Johnson gave feedback to Greta, I would be one step closer to losing my virginity to my future husband.
...to be continued.. rayeanne.