Journey Into Womanhood.
Chapter 9. The Magic Happens.
by rayeanne
I didn't pay much attention to that episode in the morning as I became busy around the house and did not bring it up with Josh. The problem was it happened the next morning too. And this time Josh was up and saw what happened.
"Sweetheart, what was that all about? Did you just throw up?"
"Uh, yes, its nothing, but, uh, it happened yesterday morning too. I must have a virus." I mumbled.
"Yeah, I got a feeling you have a lot more that honey."
"What? What do you mean?", I stammered, now suspecting what he was thinking.
"You go see Dr. Sheffield this morning, you hear? No, on second thought I will delay going to the office and I will take you." he said in a concerned manner.
Now I was concerned. I didn't want to think about what this could mean. I hurried about getting dressed and within an hour we were on the way.
I was taken in ahead of other patients and some detailed examination on the table followed and a urine sample was taken. By the time I got dressed and back into the waiting room to meet Josh we were called back into the doctors office. When we entered he was sitting there with a big smile on his face. I knew before he told me.
"Congratulations Mrs. Nichols you are now expecting. This is great news, and congratulations to you Josh, in more than the usual way. What an incredible achievement!!"
The next few hours were hectic. Josh was calling others and others were calling Josh, and the exuberance between them all was something to behold. The only thing was I was left feeling lonely. I was beginning to get quite enough of this feeling of being an object of science.
I walked quietly and resolutely through the front door and began immediately to strip off my dress and heels.
Oh! What's this all about baby?"
"I want you to fuck me..now!" I commanded.
"Damn, baby, this is not like you. But you got it beauty."
And he swept me up in his arms and went quickly to the bedroom. We had slow sweet sex for a long time, finally reaching our peak together, and lay quietly holding each other, thinking how different things were going to be.
And they were. It seemed I had doctors examining me every few days after that first fateful day. The next few months were a whirlwind of activity, and I was noticing how I was swelling. Greta and Mandy went with me to shop for maternity clothes. Most of it was very fasionable for social affairs, which I was not very interested in but had to show up, just for wifely appearances if nothing else. However, I did have occasion with the many mothers that I met to get certain valuable information about how to handle pregnancy, from my emotional jags to appetite to physical care. Most of this was the kind of information that women would share only with each other. I felt priviledged, and I was beginning to feel like one of them.
At 5 months, even though I was not all that blimped up, the doctor said no more intercourse. They did not want to take any chances at all with disturbing anything. The fetus was progressing very well, as I could see from the sonograms. We told them not to tell us the sex. We were so happy with having a baby at all that we were both just very grateful, and would be pleased with either sex.
I felt that I needed to keep Josh satisfied sexually, after all that is what a wife is supposed to do, even when it's a chore. But doing that was definitely not going to be a chore for me, even though I may be distracted and not into it in my normal highly sexed way. I really wanted him in my mouth again. I thought maybe it was kind of a worship thing, I mean after all, that thing got me pregnant!
What surprized me in bed the next night was that Josh also wanted me orally. We were kissing and he was caressing my swollen belly and suddenly he was sliding down my body, licking me all the way. My breasts, my navel, and then my mound, and then he spread my thighs open and suddenly I felt his tongue probing into my anal vagina! He had not done this before and it felt wonderful. He tongued me for a while, and had me squirming when he suddenly moved up to my clitoris. He took the whole thing into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Now I was really excited. He had never done that before and it felt wonderful. I suddenly had the urge to suck him.
"Turn around darling, I need you in my mouth while you are sucking on me." I moaned.
"Yes sweetheart, here it is suck it baby, suck it."
We were lying on our sides and pumping on each other. I knew I wasn't going to last long, I was tingling down there. Suddenly his massive cockhead began to swell even larger in the back of my mouth and he began to thrust urgently and then the spurts began. I felt myself surrender my juice to him at the same time. It felt like I actually spurted into his mouth, which I never did. Even my most intense external orgasms were always accompanied by flowing rather than spurting, although the flowing was sometimes rather forceful.
"Oh, darling yes, yessss...." I cried out, as his copious spend ran out all over my lips and chin. We both collapsed in sated exhaustion.
Our routine went on for a some weeks longer, and I had started to feel kicks in my belly. When I first felt this I was startled. Josh was holding me in his arms in bed, kissing me, when suddenly I felt a little lurch in my belly.
"Josh! Some..something is happening in my tummy. It..its lurching around, something is moving in me!", I cried out in panic.
"Oh, honey, that's great! The baby is starting to kick." He smiled.
It was at this time that I suddenly had a deeper understanding of what was going on. I had a living being in my body. It was an unsettling feeling. I didn't exactly know how to feel. I know that when Mandy found out about it she was thrilled. I could see envy on her face, although I had now idea why she would envy me this.
I was getting really uncomfortable, just walking about the house was tiring. We were near to the time when labor would be induced. I had been told that with careful monitoring we would know within a few days when labor would be induced to be sure the baby weighed no more than five pounds at birth. The estimate was that was the maximum size I could pass through my expanded pelvic opening. I was very concerned about tearing my anal ring during birth, but I was reassured over and over by the doctor and by the others that it would not happen.
"Don't worry honey, it will be just like a vagina in that respect, it will dilate, with some help in your case, and then in just a few weeks afterwards it will be just like new. All you will have to do are some daily exercises for a while to restore tone and strength." Mandy told me, with great confidence that the doctors knew what they were doing.
It was too bad about Mandy, she would make a great mother. But she was sterile and there was nothing she and Greta could to get her artificially inseminated. In fact the plan was to prepare Mandy to serve as a wet nurse if I was unable to produce enough milk for the baby.
The time approached rapidly. Josh was enjoying preparing my breasts by sucking them every night to stimulate my milk glands to start production. The day before they took me to the hospital I was producing a little bit of milk.
The intention was to get natural birth if possible. By the time we were into the heavy labor process, I was cursing them and Josh in one breath and begging them to put me to sleep and to C-section in the next breath. It was perfectly awful, but in due time I was awake enough to hear a tiny cry, and I passed out.
The baby was in incubation for only 24 hrs., after which time I had recovered somewhat although I felt weak.
"Darling, you were magnificient! You delivered for us.. and for me. Thank you so much for hanging in there sweetheart angel.'
When I first held the baby and breast fed it I was impressed, and the baby, a boy, was beautiful.
Shortly after birth, Josh approached me about a name for the baby.
"I want to make him my junior, I want his first name to be Joshua." he said, beaming like a proud father.
"That's fine with me, and we can let his middle name be Ashley, which is after all, a male name as well as female.", I smiled
"That's OK with me. He's going to be a chip off the old block, and I think its fine if he has your name in the middle."
"I hope he is like you, we will just have to see what happens." I responded.
It turned out after a few days that I was not producing enough milk for the baby, and deep down I didn't want to either. Fortunately there was Mandy. She took to the duty immediately, and was so loving and enthusiastic about feeding Josh/Ashley. I noticed when Greta was present during the feeding she was acting like a proud father. How strange I thought.
Over the next few months the mothering duties turned more and more to Mandy, as I was busy recovering my health and body tone. Soon I felt and looked just like I did before pregnancy, except maybe a bit more voluptuous. In the meantime, Greta and Mandy had practically taken over the baby. To me somehow this seemed natural, because they had basically moulded me as an individual through so much of the difficult parts of my life. I loved the child, but there was definitely no mothering instinct present on my part. All of that clearly resided with Mandy.
It began to dawn on me that I had hit the limits of my journey into womanhood. I had gotten past the simulation of femaleness and had achieved almost full emulation of womanliness. It was clear to me now that I had not and could not come to realization of the mothering instinct that was common to virtually all women. So it was finally answered for me what my limit was. I accepted this without feeling reduced by it. After all, I had become so much of what I was destined to become I had no room for complaint!
I look forward to a wonderful married life with my husband, we both having achieved an unbelievable result as testament for the future of society.
FINIS
Epilogue -
I thank all of you for following this adventure, an exploration of the transsexual phyche of the writer.
Because we can actually think about the scenario presented in this story, it is likely that if will come to be realized. The rapid advances in medical science and technology portend it even now. It is not too soon for all you aspiring t-girls, along with your guys, to consider the possibility of realizing that which you have fantisized about so many times while making love. This story brought out what I think is the limit point of a full finding of femininity for a t-girl. Let me know what you think about that or whether it is even important to you. It will not be long from now before the option will be available to you and your lover, so think about it!
Good sex, good love, and goodbye.
rayeanne.