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Written by: Nicky Smith
CHAPTER THREE: FACE TO FACE
I wanted to leave but couldn't think of a good enough excuse. I was trying hard to keep my face neutral, so Alexis and Flynn didn't see anything I didn't want them to see. I didn't wanna cause a scene and, well, cause a scene. I should have known, though, that I was with the biggest drama queen diva around in Flynn.
"Let's go," Flynn said before making a beeline to the other side of the street.
"Flynn, wait," I whispered to keep my voice from traveling too far.
"What's up with you?" Alexis asked with a frown.
"Nothing, I'm fine," I said and looked to see Flynn almost to Marla and the three firemen. "Marla and the Three Firemen". Sounds like a trashy romance novel and the thought almost made me laugh before I looked and saw Alexis now crossing the street. I rushed to get to Flynn, but I was too late. He was already introducing himself to the four of them.
Flynn had a way about him, in certain places. His way wasn't always appreciated, in certain places, and that's what I feared as I rushed toward him. He shook hands with Ryan and the other two firemen, and finally took Marla's hand and kissed it. She giggled and I rolled my eyes.
As I neared them Ryan looked my way and his eyes widened very briefly. It was almost missable, but I hadn't missed it. Alexis thankfully waited for me and we walked the last few steps to meet the group.
"Flynn," I hissed as I reached him.
"Why Jude Walker, do my eyes deceive me? I haven't seen you in ages," Marla said with a big smile on her face. Yeah, I used to frequent her place a lot.
"Jude, it's been a long time," one of the firemen said. Now that I was closer, I recognized him as a buddy of my uncle Hakeem, my mother's brother.
"Hey," I said nervously.
"Now you come on in here and eat some of my donuts and tell me about where you've been," Marla said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bakery.
"You boys come as well," Flynn said in far too breathy a voice, especially for a man talking to other men. I mentally slapped myself for how homophobic I sounded in my head. I allowed myself to be dragged into the bakery. When I turned around, I was surprised to see that the guys had followed Flynn and Alexis in as well.
"Now sit while I get you your favorite order," Marla said before she practically pushed me down into the seat at my old table and disappeared behind the counter.
"Hey Jude," said Marla's daughter Janet. She liked to say that to me to tease me that my name was in a song that she liked.
"Hey Janet," I said while trying to tamp down the nervousness I was feeling. At least the anger I'd felt earlier was gone, until I looked over and saw Ryan looking at me. Flynn was talking his ear off as they sat at a table together, but he was looking at me with as neutral an expression as I'd ever seen. He could be a poker master.
Alexis came over to sit at the table that I was seated at while Ryan's co-workers joined him and Flynn at the 4-seater table they were at. I was surprised that they hadn't jumped up and yelled "fag" or something as it was completely obvious that Flynn was gay. Instead, they watched as Flynn talked Ryan's ear off with a touch of flirting. Actually, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that they were enjoying watching Ryan get flirted with by another man. I don't know if that made it worse or not.
"You gonna tell me the story about him?" Alexis finally said.
"Who?" I said as I tore my eyes away from the table where Flynn sat flirting with... him.
"Josh's brother," she said, and I looked at her with wide eyes.
"How did you know he was Josh's brother?" I asked even though the resemblance was there if you looked. Although, while Josh was good-looking in his own right, he didn't hold a candle to his brother. Not that I cared what Ryan looked like or anything.
"I have eyes," she said with a roll of the eyes that she apparently had.
"Well, he's Josh's brother. Story over," I said as nonchalantly as I could.
"Right," she dragged out not believing for one second that the story was over.
"Here you go," Marla said as she came back with my order of 6 donuts, 2 glazed, 2 lemon cream-filled, and 2 chocolate-glazed with sprinkles.
"Thanks, Marla," I said as I picked up one of the glazed and bit into it. If nostalgia had a flavor it would be the flavor of this donut. It tasted just as I remembered.
"I see I still got the touch," she said with a smile at the expression on my face.
"Amazing," I said with my mouth full of the donut.
"Have one," she said to Alexis. Alexis picked it up and bit into it. I could tell she didn't expect it to taste so good because her eyes almost rolled back in her head.
"This is amazing," she said, and I chuckled.
"So, I've heard," Marla preened.
"Flynn, get over here and taste this," Alexis called over her shoulders.
"I'm busy," Flynn snapped before going back to possibly telling Ryan his life story.
"His loss," I said before grabbing another.
"So, tell me where you've been all these years and why you haven't come back in all this time?" Marla said being extra nosy.
"That's a good question," said a deep baritone that I still remembered from my past, only it was deeper and more... whatever, now. I looked up and Ryan and Flynn were now standing next to our table. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing. He was indeed a genius at keeping a poker face.
"Marla, it was good seeing you. I'll stop by later to catch you up on my life, but I was just showing my friends around town," I said choosing to ignore Ryan.
"Oh, well I'll take you up on that," Marla said. It made me sad to disappoint her because it seemed like she genuinely wanted to know about what I'd been up to. I had to get away from Ryan though.
"Let's go," I said to Alexis as I stood. I pulled out my wallet to pay for the donuts, but Marla told me they were on the house.
"We're leaving already?" Flynn asked as we headed out the door. I waved to Janet and gave Ryan's co-workers a head nod on my way out.
"Yup," I said as I tried to keep my face neutral, like the apparent master Ryan Parker.
"Jude," called the voice that belonged to the man that I was desperate to escape from, but to do so nonchalantly so as not to draw any attention. I stopped and schooled my face before turning.
"Yeah," I said coolly.
"It was nice to see you again," he said. He was indeed the master at the neutral expression.
"Yep," I said, and turned to leave. I tried to ignore the very slight but noticeable break in his poker face.
"Okay, what was that?" Flynn demanded once we were a distance away from Marla's bakery, away from Ryan.
"What was what?" I asked as I continued to speed walk away from the bakery.
"You know what," Flynn said as he grabbed my arm to stop me from walking. I turned to see him looking ticked off. Was he really that into Ryan?
"Look, I'm sorry. If you wanna go and flirt with Ryan some more then, by all means, have at it," I said before I turned and headed for my car. I didn't get far though as they caught up to me and stopped me.
"That's not what I meant. What's your deal with that guy?" Flynn asked. Both he and Alexis were looking at me with curious expressions now and I wanted it to stop.
"There's no deal. I knew him growing up," I said, satisfied with my answer.
"Yeah, you knew him growing up from him being your best friend's brother," Alexis said with her arms crossed, and I flinched. I had forgotten that quickly that she knew that part.
"Joshie's brother?" Flynn said with raised eyebrows and Alexis nodded.
"Okay, yeah, he's Josh's brother. That's how I know him," I said hoping they would believe me. I didn't wanna get into this now with them.
"Oh my god!" Alexis exclaimed and I wanted to shut her down immediately. She was too intuitive for her, or mine, own good.
"Let's continue with our sightseeing," I said cheerfully with perhaps one of my fakest smiles ever.
"You dated him," she said, and I closed my eyes to keep whatever would show up on my face in check. I didn't miss the wide-eyed gape of Flynn though.
"Don't be ridiculous. He's 3 years older than me," I said and hoped that would stop her.
"What's that have to do with anything?" Alexis asked and I was shocked that I had to explain this to her.
"Are you serious? He was 18 when I was 15. I was too young for most of my high school dating years to date him," I said. She didn't look to be buying it though.
"Like that's ever stopped people before," she said as she rolled her eyes.
"Look Alexis, I never dated that guy. For one thing, I told you two that I didn't date any guys before I left home. Secondly, the dude is married," I said and hoped they would finally hear me and drop it.
"How do you know that?" Flynn asked while trying to hide his disappointment.
"The wedding ring on his finger," I said and hoped they bought it. I knew that he was married another way, though.
"Oh, darn," Flynn pouted.
"That's an eagle eye you got there," Alexis said as she eyed me suspiciously.
"Look, I never dated my best friend's straight brother. Sorry to disappoint you," I said, and Flynn looked even more crestfallen, probably at the reminder that Ryan was straight. Alexis on the other hand didn't look like she believed me.
"I'm not buying it," she said proving me right as she looked at me with folded arms.
"It doesn't matter if you buy it or not. It's the truth," I said hoping that she'd finally believe me and drop it.
"Then why are you acting so weird?" She asked with a stubborn stare. Flynn looked very curious as well
"It's just that I'm feeling weird about being back here," I said which was true enough.
"Because of Ryan?" She asked as she pushed.
"No, because of my dad," I said, also true enough.
"I will find out the truth," she warned, and that did worry me.
"Nothing to find out," I said before plastering a neutral look on my face I hoped rivaled Ryan's. The last thing that I wanted was to dredge up ugly memories that were better off dead.
"Let's go then. Take us to see all the gay hangouts," Flynn said and I laughed at that.
"Flynn, the only thing that's gay in this town right now is the two of us," I said and he clicked his tongue.
"Don't forget Lexi," Flynn joked. He was under the impression that Alexis was at least a little bit gay cause he said that his gaydar pinged with her slightly when they first met. I didn't pick up a thing with mine though so my belief was she was straight until she said otherwise.
"Chile, please. I like dick, not pussy," she said adding emphasis when she said pussy to gross us out, which she did. More so with Flynn than me as I'd had sex with girls a few times but he was a virgin in that area from what he'd told me.
"Ew, would you please not," Flynn said and Alexis giggled.
"Alright, let's go," I said before heading for my car. We hopped in and I took them around to some other places of note around town. When it started to get dark I knew that we needed to get back to the house.
I could tell that my friends had become subdued, especially Flynn. I regretted bringing him here because it was obviously bringing up bad memories from his past. I didn't know the details but I knew he'd had a falling out with his family similar to mine and it was in regards to him being gay.
I considered just driving them back home and coming back on my own but I knew they would kick my ass for even suggesting it. My own nerves kicked back up as I pulled into the driveway of my childhood home and saw that an additional car was in the driveway that wasn't there earlier. It could have been Kenny but I knew it wasn't
I took a deep breath and got out of the car. Alexis and Flynn followed. They walked up to stand on either side of me. Alexis rubbed my back while Flynn placed a big hand on my shoulder. I mentally thanked them for their silent support before walking up to the door. I started to knock but before I got the chance the door swung open and Sasha was on the other side.
"Hey bro," she said while looking rushed.
"Where are you headed?" I asked while trying to steady my nerves.
"Um, nowhere," she said looking weird.
"If you're on your way to see Kenny then go ahead. I'll be fine," I said and made sure to smile.
"His name is Kenneth," she said with slight frustration showing. It's what I was trying for, to keep her mind off whatever she was thinking.
"If you're sure," she said looking unsure.
"It's cool. We got him," Alexis said confidently. She looked at all of us before nodding and picking up the pace in heading for her car. I chuckled a bit at her hot pants before steeling myself and walking in the door.
I walked into the living room and only Ma was there looking through several binders that looked like stuff to do with the wedding. She looked up when she heard us.
"Did you have a good time?' She asked with a smile.
"Yeah, until we ran into Ryan Parker," Alexis said completely selling me out.
"Lex," I hissed as I glared at her.
"What? You said there was nothing to tell," she said with a smile that was far too innocent looking on her traitorous face.
"Really," I said as I gaped at her. She just shrugged. I looked at Ma and she was looking back and forth between us before her gaze settled on me. It looked like something had dawned on her for the first time but she tried not to react to it. She failed, and I wanted to get her mind off of whatever she was starting to think.
"Where is he?" I asked and another look crossed her face. Regret.
"He's in the kitchen," she said, and as if right on cue he entered the living room with Luke, both of them laughing at something. When their gazes fell on me their jovial mood vanished. Luke fixed me with yet another cold glare while the old man looked like he was bouncing between multiple emotions. Primary among them was disgust.
"Hey, dad," I said and it felt wrong calling him "dad" to his face when he hadn't behaved very fatherly when we'd last seen each other.
"Jude," he said like he was being forced to speak to me. Maybe he was.
"Babe, these are Judey's friends Alexis and Flynn," Ma said as she stood up to run interference between us.
"How do you do sir," Alexis said in a neutral tone. He grunted while giving her a nod. Ma cleared her throat and he corrected himself by reaching a hand out for her to shake which she did. Flynn followed suit and he looked shocked. I could tell that Flynn gave him a stronger handshake than what was needed. I did my best to keep a straight face.
"You're a friend of my son's?" Dad asked and I rolled my eyes. It was obvious what he was thinking. Of course, I couldn't have a macho manly friend being the "prancing, limp-wristed fairy" that I was. Too bad though, because those words described Flynn. Again, those were his words.
"Yes, sir," Flynn said in a slightly cold tone. Dad's eyes narrowed on Flynn then. I guess the "gay voice" had betrayed him.
"Oh yeah, I can see it now," he said in a condescending tone complete with a small smirk.
"Aaron," Ma scolded.
"What?" He asked looking innocent.
"You know what," she said with a stern look.
"I don't know what," Luke said finally dropping the cold look.
"It's nothing for you to worry about," he said and I guess that confirmed that they hadn't told them about me. Dad then turned to me. "So, where are you staying?" He asked and I could tell he was hoping I didn't say I was staying there. I almost said it just to piss him off.
"He's staying here of course," Ma said and he tried his best not to roll his eyes.
"Unless you want us to stay elsewhere. I don't wanna overstay my welcome," I said unable to keep the coldness out of my voice.
"Your mother already made up your room so might as well stay there," he said and I rolled my eyes again. He already knew where I was staying. He knew that wouldn't disappoint Ma. He just wanted to start some shit with me.
"Hey, are those from Marla's?" Craig asked as he came into the room and spied the box I was holding with the leftover donuts inside.
"Yeah, here," I said as I handed him the box. His eyes lit up as he opened the box. He took one of the chocolate donuts and bit into it.
"You just ate," Ma said as she looked at him scarf the donut down.
"I'm a growing boy," he said and I heard Flynn snort. Dad's glare focused on him hard. That was far enough.
"Ma, maybe it would be best if we stayed at a hotel. You know, keep out of the way," I said, and disappointment flooded her face.
"What? No!" She said but I wasn't gonna stick around here where things hadn't changed.
"You two go get your stuff. I'll meet ya outside," I said to them after tearing myself away from my mom's crestfallen face.
"Are you sure?" Alexis asked. I nodded before heading for the stairs.
I entered my old room and prepared to grab my bags off the floor where I had left them but they were gone. I looked in the drawers and saw Ma had unpacked for me. I shook my head and felt bad for upsetting her but I was not gonna have that man think that one of my friends was a pedophile just because he was amused by an innocent comment.
"Running off again huh?" I heard from my door. I looked to see Luke with a cold glare fixed on me.
"Not now Luke. You have no idea what's going on," I said as I finished packing my clothes back into my bags.
"Then enlighten me. You run off for 7 years without a word to your family, then come home and after 5 minutes you're running again. Are you even gonna stay for Sassy's wedding?" He said, and I thought to bring up that I had spoken to and seen Ma and Sasha since I'd been gone. Hell, I talked to Sasha a lot and texted with her every day. I held my tongue on that though as it probably was the best thing to say in this situation. Besides, he was pissing me off with his attitude. I could just tell him what the problem was but I just couldn't. I couldn't take them rejecting me as my father had. I would rather have Luke hating me because I'd left rather than for being gay.
"If you wanna know why I left ask your father," I said as I put my last shirt into my bag and zipped it.
"You fought with Dad and that was the cause of you running away for 7 years? I've had plenty of arguments with him and I didn't run away," he said like he knew what he was saying.
"Well, he didn't call you a..." I said as I stepped to him. I stopped myself before I finished the sentence.
"Called you a what?" He asked, not intimidated that I'd stepped to him.
"Nevermind," I said as I turned from him and grabbed my bags. I went to leave the room but Luke blocked the way.
"What? Did he call you a fag or something?" He asked, and I tried not to react but my face betrayed me. His eyes narrowed on me.
"Move," I said while trying to keep my emotions in check.
"Why would you care about him calling you a fag unless..." He said but I couldn't let this go any further.
"Stop!" I said, interrupting him.
"You're a..." he started again with wide eyes.
"That's not all he called me," I interrupted him again. I then brushed past him and out of my room.
I walked back into the living room to see the old man in his chair. Ma was seated on the couch looking sad with watery eyes. Craig was seated next to her saying something to her. When he saw me he got up.
"Dude, you can't leave. You just got here," he said as he came over to me. I glanced over and saw our father watching us. I took a step back from Craig to put space between us. I wasn't gonna give him any reason to think I was trying anything with his sons. I looked over and saw Luke in the doorway leading into the living room. He was glaring again so I guess I knew where I stood with him.
"Did Alexis and Flynn come out yet?" I asked but they answered the question when they came into the room brushing past Luke.
"We're ready," Alexis said.
"Ma," I started before she stood up.
"Your brother's gay. That's why he left," she blurted out. I was stunned and apparently, so was Dad as he stared wide-eyed at her.
"That's the big family secret? That you're a butt pirate?" Craig asked but he didn't look disgusted or anything. He almost sounded like he was joking.
"Craig! Don't call your brother names!" Ma shouted.
"It was a joke, Ma," he said.
"Well, I'm not laughing," Luke groused.
"That's because you're a butt munch," Craig said and I couldn't stop the snort that escaped me.
"Craig!" Ma admonished again.
"Again Ma, joking," he said. He then started for me but again I took a step back from him.
"Why are you trying to keep your distance from me?" He asked. I guess he had noticed the first time too.
"No reason," I said unconvincingly as I looked at Dad. He just rolled his eyes. Ma didn't tell the whole story so she obviously didn't want them to know that part. If that were the case I'd keep my mouth shut too.
"What else did Dad call you, other than a fag, that had you so upset?" Luke asked with a frown.
"Luke, I'm not gonna tell you again that I don't wanna hear any of that coming from any of you about your brother," Ma said.
"Why are we dwelling on this? "Dad asked like this was no big deal.
"He called him a pedophile," Flynn said and I gaped at him. Not just for the fact that he was getting involved but for the tone of voice he'd used. He rarely used his deep "macho" voice unless he was hitting on someone that liked it, or he was pissed.
"What?" Both Luke and Craig said at the same time before looking at Dad.
"I just asked him a question. I don't know what everybody is bitching about," he said dismissively.
"You asked me if I touched my brothers, implying that I was a pedophile. Like just because I was gay that I was also a pedophile," I said but he just let out an annoyed sigh.
"Pedos are more likely to be straight though," Craig said and I was stunned. How did he have more sense at 13 than our dad did as a grown-ass man?
"Look, didn't nobody tell you to get all sensitive just because I asked a perfectly reasonable question," Dad said looking annoyed.
"It's not "perfectly reasonable" to think that your child is a pedophile just because you learned he's gay," Ma said as she looked at him with all the challenging anger I expected from her years ago. Dad just rolled his eyes, though.
"I'm not talking about this anymore," he said before standing up and heading to the kitchen. I then heard the back door open and close.
"I'm sorry," I said after a few more moments. I did feel guilty for coming home and ruining the good mood surrounding Sasha's wedding.
"You have nothing to feel sorry for," Ma said before hugging me. She then took my bags and headed for the stairs. I guess that was her answer to my leaving. I looked at my friends and they both looked somber. Alexis shrugged before guiding Flynn out of the room and back to the guestroom. I was just glad that Sasha wasn't there.
to be continued....
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