Just Joe

5 Just Joe

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I wanted to talk to Joe about something but I didn't want the folks to hear so I produced the pencils and paper for Cale's and mum started helping him, dad opened his third beer so he's happy until he gets tired, mum will unfold the picnic rug for him to have a nap.

"Joe, can we go for a walk for a minute?"

"Why Heath?"

"I just want to talk to you privately that's all."

"Okay, Caleb behave for Sally and do what she says, be back in a minute."

I walked him over to the car park and opened my car; he sat in the passenger side and said.

"So what's up?"

"I'm sorry for what I did to you truly sorry Joe. I wasn't on the same page as you at the time but to be honest when I really look at it, I think I've been in love with you right from the start."

"Heath..." I stopped him talking.

"Joe, can't we start again I really miss holding you, the only reason I used to go home was that I thought you didn't want me there you never really did ask me to stay."

"Heath, I didn't have a clue what I was supposed to do or what I was supposed to expect. I only had my relationship with Mandy to go on and that wasn't much. I'm sorry I am a bit green when it comes to guys but never again Heath. I'm now fully celibate and very happy in that role. I forgive you but I really don't know what for now. I wanted to try the gay side but it didn't work for me, maybe in the future, there will be a guy or a girl out there for me but at the moment there's no one." He's pushing back again.

"Joe please don't push me away again." It was his turn to stop me.

"Hush Heath don't feel that way you have plenty of friends and from what I hear part-time friends too, so go weed out the man of your dreams from them. I'm sure he's in there somewhere." He smiled at me but his eyes were glassy.

I whispered.

"I don't want anybody else but you Joe, I love you." He opened his door.

"Let's join the others I can't help you with that Heath you just have to get over it like I did," A good punch to the stomach this time.

"Joe one more question."

"Okay shoot."

"Are you punishing me?"

"No Heath not at all. I was the one that made a big mistake. I guess I read too many love stories when I was younger and I had a funny perception on it, you helped me see that, no Heath I like you as a friend I wouldn't try to get back at you because there's nothing to get back for. It was all in my stupid head, not yours," He took my hand and actually kissed it. I hadn't realized but tears had formed in my eyes and as I looked at him one dripped onto my cheek.

"Please?" I begged.

He was gone in a flash I sat there for ages trying to figure out when Joe started hating me because it felt like he did. After ten long minutes, I wiped up my face and joined the others. Harry had collared dad again who looked like he was going to sleep on his feet. Mum had Cale's on her knee and was talking to Joe.

"Well if you ever get stuck Mark just call me I'm more than willing to babysit anytime, and if you have to bring him into work he can sit with me I'll find him heaps to do," That's my mum the human diary. I think what she was really saying was she liked his kid and wanted to spend more time with him.

It was a great day and my favorite people were there Joe spoke at length to Harry about the move he didn't mention us again. But like all days they have to end I said my goodbyes to Caleb giving him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was with a heavy heart I watched them walk away, Harry had left he had another date. Joe looked awesome today and I so much wanted to run after them. I should be going home in their car as a family.

"Okay son spill it."

"Eh?" I had mum in my ear.

She smiled and said.

"The gossip Heath I know there's a story in there somewhere so tell me."

"Mum it's too embarrassing to tell."

"Since when have you ever embarrassed me, son, you tried so hard when you came out but it didn't work then and you know it." She smiled.

"Oh mum I stuffed up big time six months ago and I can't fix it," Tears formed and I felt a hand on my shoulder, my dad had woken up and heard us talking.

"Come on son out with it." His voice reassured me that everything was going to be okay but I couldn't see it ever being right.

I told them everything all about me being a slut, all about Joe Mandy and Caleb, how I felt and how he felt if your parents can't help you, nobody can. They listened, I talked they didn't interrupt me and never said anything until I had finished, but when I did I had tears running down my cheeks onto the tablecloth.

"Do you love him Heath or are you just hurting because he's dumped you?"

"I love him mum, everything about him I love. I wish he would believe me but he's not having any of it."

"Okay son, leave it to us," Dad smiled.

"No dad you will make it worse I have to do something but I don't know what as yet."

"Cheer up for a start, get your groove on, turn on the charm don't let him get away with it, he's obviously gay just sleeping with you proves that. Start small son, like a bunch of thank you for the great job you're doing for us flowers or chocolates, small Heath, start small," Mum grinned. I thought about it then kissed them goodbye. I didn't tell them I had tried so hard to get Joe to see what was happening around him, to fix his hurt.

On Monday I signed the lease for the new offices after we three had a meeting. Harry was impressed with the new digs and Joe started packing up. I hired movers to take everything upstairs, in no time phones were being installed and internet connected and by the time we had finished up, the place looked sparse and not very welcoming. Another meeting this time with mum, in the end, she said for us to leave the decorating to her. She had experience having been dad's secretary for many years she always handled the girly things.

Then something very strange happened while she was there the reception phone rang and she nearly fell over herself to get to it. I watched as she said, "Stone Investments Sally speaking how may I help you?"

"Okay, I will see if he's in wait a moment." She put the caller on hold and called me over.

"There's a young man on the phone called Randy for you son."

I took the phone off her and there was no one on the other end. Very strange I don't know a Randy and I'm fucked how he got that phone number may be a new client but there was no message either.

"Oh well if its important son he will call back, is he a new boyfriend son?"

"What?" I screamed and nearly hit her on the head with the handset.

"A boyfriend or client son, which one?"

"Mum stop that there is no boyfriend and you well know that."

"I see and I suppose you are going to tell me you stayed in all last night too." She grinned.

"Mum I went to the pub once last Friday week and came home early I hadn't been there for ages and you know that too, what are you trying to do to me?" I was trying to keep my voice down.

"Nothing son, just curious who this Randy person is that's all."

She went into the now big tearoom and put the kettle on.

I could see out of the corner of my eye Joe and Harry both laughing behind their hands.

"Hiring your mum? big fail on your part." Harry sniggered.

"Do you want a coffee, Harry?"

"Yes please Mrs. Stone." Harry lilted back.

"Well keep your trap shut or you'll get nothing," Mum raised her voice.

"Sorry Mrs. Stone coffee would be nice thank you."

"Heath is she always like this?" Harry whispered to me.

"Yes," I whispered back.

"Louder I can't hear you," We heard mums giggle.

A few days later a very good looking young man in a suit appeared at reception just as I was about to go to the toilet he asked mum for Mark he had an appointment.

"Take a seat Shane I'll get him for you."

When I came back both Mark and Shane were sitting on the new sofa talking, mum called out to me.

"Heath Randy called again he said he will call you at home tonight," She almost yelled.

"Mum not so loud, who is this Randy?"

"I don't know son, but he sounded really friendly."

"Mum stop it now, I can handle it."

"Stop what son?"

"Oh forget it."

I started back to my office Joe stood up and introduced me to Shane we had a quick chat for a few minutes, I liked him so I left Joe to organize the paperwork. After I got back behind my desk, mum came in rubbing her hands she asked me if I thought Mark would be safe with Shane in the office alone. She thought I should at least sit in on the meeting. I said for her to go about her own business and stop meddling in others, she knew I was pissed off.

She looked a little miffed and she confirmed that theory when she made a general intercom call.

"Heath your boyfriends is on line two honey."

"What the fuck mum?" I shouted.

"Sorry honey my nails got in the way," She then blurted out.

I picked my phone up and pushed line Two.

"Hello," I was annoyed.

"That's no way to greet your father, son, and how are you doing today?"

"Oh dad hi, dad she's driving me crazy what do I do?"

"Let her go on son, she'll soon settle down its been a while since she did that kind of work just ignore her little quirks."

"But dad she's playing games with Mark she's really going to fuck everything up."

"Well son it hurts me to say this but why don't you fire her?"

"I can't fire my own mother."

"How's the new guy have you had a chance to talk to him yet?"

"No dad he's still in the interview room with Mark he will call me when he's finished."

"Okay keep me informed son see you when I see you."

"Bye, dad."

"Heath you're wanted in the interview room."

"Thanks, mum."

I took my folder and gave mum a stern look when I passed her desk then went to sit in on Shane's interview.

He was really nice and polite, we went over his contract and bonuses he was happy with the deal so I looked at Joe and he nodded, so I nodded back Shane signed the contract and we witnessed it. Joe got up and shook Shane's hand, then when we got to reception to let mum know he had been hired, Joe leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Congratulations honey dinner at seven my place?"

"Sure baby I can't wait to see Caleb again," Shane smiled at Joe, then me then mum, who by now had dropped her jaw.

Time stood still for me I felt so embarrassed, mum how could you. I felt tears forming so I walked away towards the toilets. I took deep breaths as I pushed the door open

I didn't know whether to be sick or to jump out the window. Mums fucked everything up I knew Joe hadn't moved on I just knew it but it did hurt just seeing that scene made me feel so isolated and unwanted shaking my head I splashed my face with cold water.

The bathroom door swung open Joe stood next to me.

"Heath, look at me," Joe was smiling.

I didn't know where to look.

"Heath, Shane's a good friend, we were just pulling your chain much like your mum tries to with me when it comes to your imaginary boyfriends did you get my point?"

I did loud and clear but I still didn't feel good about it.

"Yes I'm sorry they cornered me at the park the other day and I told some of our stories to them. She's taking things too far I'll have a word with her, I have already told them not to interfere but it looks like I have to be firmer with them, there is no Randy Joe, it's usually dad on the other end of the line," I went bright red and under my breath I cursed mum for her involvement.

"Well while you're at it tell her Shane's gay too but he already has a great husband, its not funny when you're on the receiving end Heath is it, I really don't want Sally to get involved?" Joe then frowned.

I dried my hands and apologized for my mum and dad's fuck ups and made sure he knew that both of them would apologize to him, then I had to walk out of the bathroom before I took him my arms forcefully.

"Mum we have to talk in my office please," I said as I passed reception. She agreed she wasn't winning in the jealousy department maybe I should go with the flowers , after all, she can order up some. I made her promise to order them with a note of apology from her and dad to Mark.

Shane had hung around while Joe set him up with passwords and codes. He was happy to start moving his clients onto our books and he and Joe will source more from their contacts, there is a whole world of wealth out there just waiting for some young guns to handle it with new eyes.

"What have I missed?" Harry always the last to know popped his head in.

"Nothing much meet Shane Harry he's my new partner in crime." Joe smiled.

"Shane I hope you will be very happy in this madhouse with us welcome to Stone and sons."

"That's Stone and associates Harry get it right," Mum screamed over the intercom. I looked at the guys and started laughing I promised then I would have another word with her after work then Joe pushed the intercom and announced.

"It's actually Stone Investments Sal, and coffee would be lovely thank you," He chuckled it was so nice to see.

The rest of the day Joe and I worked on a big account dad had found for us we had to do a projection of profits over the next six months, they were huge and it took the best part of the afternoon to even work out their spreadsheet of assets, Joe was sitting quite close to me I could smell his aftershave and wanted so badly to lick his neck and bury myself in his arms.

What I really wanted was his forgiveness but I think I won't get that for some time to come. At one stage we both looked at each other his eyes captured mine and for a moment I was drawn straight into them. I whispered.

"You are so beautiful Joe." I didn't think he heard me but he did break the moment by coughing then standing up to make more coffee.

Over the next two weeks he worked his ass off on the new accounts some days I hardly saw him and as if a light bulb had exploded in his head he would rush around looking for his jacket and keys he was late picking Caleb up two out of five days. I watched him several times at his desk there was nothing else happening in his world when he was watching the market on his screen.

I knew what was going on and I couldn't help him but I did know he needed some sort of help so I went out on a limb and spoke to Shane on the quiet one morning when he came in early. He told me that they had spoken at length one night about Mandy... and me. But Mark's deeper demon's concerned him, he was devastated to realize not everyone was like his wife and he has to prove to himself he's worth it inside. He thought he was being overprotective of Caleb but understood how that had come about.

"He is a gorgeous person Heath we both adore him but we can't interfere because we both know the answer is always going to be the same, inside he's grieving badly and scared shitless. Let him get this out of his system and please Heath please don't hurt him, treat him gently I beg you."

By now tears had begun I couldn't control them and didn't want to.

"I promise I would never ever hurt him, Shane, he's become my whole life. I just have to make him believe that."

"I know you love him and he does deeply love you too, but he's trying so hard to resist it and in the meantime he's going mad trying to do everything on his own, he's not strong like you, and Heath, believe me when I said he was grieving, its not Mandy he's grieving for ... its you."

Well, that was a kick to the heart I hadn't thought of that, it would explain his need to shut me down then ask my opinions on things, he's all over the shop.

I thanked him for his input then I sat and mapped out a plan he needs our help. Once again I called the big guns in.

I had a long talk to mum when she arrived and she agreed with me so we put a plan into place. I then went and sat with my Joe, he looked tired and his desk was again stacked high with paperwork.

"Can I somehow help you with this mess, Joe?"

"No thanks Heath, I know these stacks look chaotic but believe me they are in order, well the order I want them anyway, it will be cleared by the end of this month."

"No that's not what I meant Joe, I meant the mess with Caleb."

"Cale's what mess, there isn't a mess Heath?"

"Picking him up late mostly you can't leave him there on his own just because some client wants a report, but I do have a plan in mind."

"Okay point taken what's your plan Heath?" He slumped.

"I have spoken to mum she's more than willing to leave early and pick him up she can take him home and she will see that he's fed and bathed if needed, and kept occupied until you get there."

"No you can't do that, she's needed here,"

I smiled at him and replied.

"Really Joe, is she?" He dropped his head, then for a long time Joe stared at his hands then into my eyes I didn't blink or move I drank him in.

"I have to accept it don't I Heath?" He whispered breaking my dream moment I replied.

"Yes mate you do and you also have to accept Shane and I helping you with this other mess," I tapped his stacks.

"Okay I will notify the crèche they will need a photo of her, I won't let his grandparents near the place."

"Joe I have to say something about that we never really discussed it did we, but you did the right thing with them, there's no way I would want that pair of assholes near my kid?" He didn't answer I'm stepping on his territory more now but he was still deep in thought, he was fighting with himself inside again.

"They are a couple of bigots I told Mandy not to say anything to them but she must have, there's no way I would leave Caleb with them I am one hundred percent certain I won't get him back they will take him away from me forever thank you Heath, and thank you for all your support, I may not come across as appreciative but I really am, so thank you,"

I sat and waited then I saw that tiny tear, my job was nearly done.

Leaving him to it I then went to take a nice photo of mum then sent it to Joe's phone. She was more than happy to have that little chore I think being a receptionist bored her.

I looked in on Joe later in the day he was showing Shane some stuff that was urgent, Shane winked at me and I felt sort of special because Joe was listening to what I was saying.

Things started to shape up and I noticed a few smiles around the office again I didn't push Joe and I just sat back and waited for him to come to me. If Joe was busy Mum would be picking up Caleb on time and it will work well for him and for her.

"Well, where's my office have I got a view?" Jimmy joined the firm, no holidays for him Harry desperately needed his help. I know my brother was ready and eager to get stuck into some work.

"Harry, he's here can you show him the ropes?"

"Sure thing Heath, Jimmy follow me do I have a big surprise for you," He smiled at me. I chuckled to myself poor Jim there was a stack of new everyday clients to be entered into our database then he had to update their tax files. Joe arrived looking a million dollars and he also looked a little more relaxed we talked about mundane things and I thought now wasn't the best time to continue my plan.

Thinking it over fully I did what work I had which was triple checking my client's numbers and overseeing what Joe and Shane had dealt with the previous day. I never found an error so I mused at the thought I might take a day off. No that's too bad Heath, just go get some shit to do off Harry he needs the help just until Jim is up to date.

I went out and spied Jim and Harry being all buddy-buddy with Joe and Shane in the tea room. I looked at mum she looked harassed.

"What's up mum?"

"I wish Harry had given me this paperwork yesterday I would have had it all done for Jimmy by today, Heath you're in charge can't you run this office more efficiently?"

"What?"

"Look at all the work I have, Jimmy dumped it all in my lap and said he needed at least half of it entered by this afternoon." She chuckled.

My brothers delegating his work to his mum, way to go, brother, no wonder he looks like he's in charge.

"Mum, can we have a family picnic on Saturday, say for about ten or so people?"

"Of course we can son what's up?"

"Oh, nothing just want a work type picnic one that involves extended family we need to welcome Shane and his partner to the business that's all, take the money out of petty cash."

"What petty cash where?" She started looking in the drawers. I walked away laughing at her I had better go to the bank and get some.

I went over to the tearoom and made coffee winked at Jimmy and sat with them.

"We are having a family slash work picnic next Saturday boys I want all of you to come with partners it's about time we got this show on the road and did a little bonding."

"Heath that's always been once a month for us but it will be nice to meet Shane's partner and I cannot wait to meet Caleb. Harry do you have someone or are you like me just a fuck em and leave em kind of guy," He burst out laughing I knew he was joking, the intercom went.

"Talk louder boys I can't hear you and Jimmy mind your language."

"She's so spooky," Jimmy smiled.

"No Jimmy no one special in my life at the moment I just don't have the time," Harry said as he winked at me.

"Okay when you get a free night we can hit the clubs together there are some awesome places in Prahran," He smiled.

"You're on buddy."

I looked at Joe he had a slight smile on his face when he got up and washed his cup and left for his office. I followed him and closed the door behind me his desk was cleared of paperwork and he was tinkering with the keyboard, looking at the stocks moving around.

"Joe, will you come Saturday?"

"Yes Heath, Caleb's been at me to go there again to see mummy, I don't know why he sees her just about every other day." He laughed it was good to see.

"We had better find another word for him to call her it's confusing, cute but confusing," I said.

"Yeah, I guess grandma might be better but Sal should pick that one she just might resent that word so early in her life." He laughed again.

"She and dad would make the perfect grandma and grandpa for Caleb he needs some older trustworthy people in his life." I smiled at him then stood up.

"Well I had better get back to it, Jimmy is already looking at taking over my office he's out to impress I think," He didn't say anything my passing comment hit the spot. I reached for the doorknob then heard it.

"I'm sorry Heath." There was no time for me to react; mums voice came over the intercom.

"Mark the crèche on line three for you." He looked at me and picked the phone up.

"Mark Stanton speaking is there something up?"

"What?"

"I'll be there in five minutes." He jumped up and put his coat on then found his car keys.

"Joe, what's up tell me what's happening?" I pleaded.

"Caleb he's been hurt."

"Can I come with you please?" He stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

"Follow me." I ran out to get my keys and told mum about Caleb then took off after Joe.

I drove frantically towards the crèche and caught every red light possible Joe was well ahead of me, he was nowhere to be seen when I got there thank god his car was still parked out front. I saw him carrying Caleb out the door and jumping out of my car I quickly caught up with him.

"I have to get him to the doctors I think he's broken his arm," Joe was in a big panic.

Caleb was upset but something didn't add up if it was me with a broken arm I would be bawling my eyes out, and anyway, the crèche nurse would have called the ambulance.

"Joe, listen to me Joe, he's okay it's not broken maybe a little sore but not broken let me drive, you can sit with him in the back. Pull yourself together Joe you are only upsetting him more."

"Heat I falls over where is our mummy?"

"At work buddy you feel okay?"

"Yes Heat just a fright," He sniffed.

Joe stopped doing the parent panic and checked Cale's again.

"You okay buddy?" He breathed deeply.

"Yes daddy me okay just a little sore on the arm dat's all." Joe relaxed.

"Come on let's get you checked out anyway son."

"Okays buddy cans Heat come?" He giggled.

I took Cale's from Joe's arms and was very careful to not bounce him around as I fixed him into his baby seat and saw that both he and Joe were belted up. I think I know what this is all about but Caleb's not Mandy Caleb's a healthy baby and a lot stronger than his mum health wise.

I kept looking in the mirror as I drove to the nearest Doctors surgery Joe was kissing his sons head as tears flowed down his face, he was just frightened that's all. I made sure I didn't speed just stuck to the road rules, we got there and I took over, reaching for Caleb then helping Joe.

"Joe he's okay you know kids are really resilient they can take all sorts of knocks, stop stressing about it please."

"I know, I know but it still scares the shit out of me Heath can you stay with us please?"

"Of course I can you don't even have to ask." I got Cale's in to see the doctor straight away and she checked his arm out, he was more interested in her stethoscope than any pain which by now mostly had gone away.

"He's okay but maybe a bit of bruising later on, if he starts to feel any pain just give him a baby aspirin, just you and your partner keep an eye on this young man he's too cute to be crying." She smiled at both of us, Joe didn't pull her up on it and I felt loved. The doctor gave him a lolly and put a sponge bob band-aid on the imagined break.

"Heat we go see mummy now?"

"Sure buddy she wants to see you today I'm sure of it. Is that okay Joe or do you want to go straight home?"

"No that's fine I have another small mess at work to fix up then if you don't mind can I drop you off later to get your car?'

"You got it, baby," I said absentmindedly.

"Mummy, mummy, Cale's come to see you at work."

"Welcome pork chops, it's so good to see you again, want to hop up here and help me do some typing?"

I leaned over she was playing solitaire, I will have to find her some more work to do, maybe Jimmy can organize that for me, I chuckled to myself. I left mum to it Cale's was showing her his band-aid; mum was kissing his arm all better.

Joe and I sat in the board room to nut out the final stages of this big account, he said he would enter all the figures tonight from home I told him I had a better idea, I would give it to mum to do...he actually laughed.

"You will be paid overtime mum please don't moan about it you owe us." She took the stack of notes and huffed.

Caleb was happily playing with the computer although things were blinking all over the place so I don't think he got far. I went back to my office and heard singing coming over the intercom Cale's was giving us a concert. Fuck me its like Disneyland around here.

On one of my trips to the tearoom I spied Cale's sitting at Jimmy's desk having a sort of in-depth conversation with him, he saw me pass and yelled.

"Look Heat mys new brother Jims is here look Heat." I looked in and smiled at Jimmy.

"New brother?"

"Well if that's what he wants Heath and we are best buddies aren't we Cale's?"

"Yup Jims best buddies." He was doing a drawing for Jimmy's office, mum had also made him a couple of sandwiches.

Late that afternoon a delivery boy was standing at reception with the biggest bunch of red roses, they were for Joe, thank you very much, mum. She generally announced their arrival and a red-faced Joe came out to collect them.

"Well, what does the card say?" Mum said as Cale's smelled the blooms.