This is a work of fiction focused on male/male sex. If this is not to your taste or you are not of legal age (in your area) then please leave now.
I'm deeply sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Unfortunately I have been very busy, which makes it considerably more difficult find the time to write. But I do intend to see it out to its conclusion so you will just have to kindly bear with me. I sincerely appreciate all the comments and encouragements sent to me by the readers.
This chapter does not contain any sexual scenes because the principal aim of this chapter is to build the story. But this is by no means the end of the sex scenes.
Two
Neil sent me a text message to invite me for a couple of pints at the pub. As I got ready, I found myself feeling both excited and anxious, my heart was beating in a mad frenzy which almost made me want to cancel on him in order to sort out my head and perhaps get a better idea of what I ought to say to him when we talk about what happened on Friday night. But there was no way I was going to miss out on the chance to see him again after three days of worrying about whether what happened had effectively fucked up our friendship... besides I really needed to know how he felt about it.
The pub was rather busy for this early in the evening. I spotted Neil sat in one of the booths in the corner, he had his hand around a pint of Stella, which is invariably what he drinks. He looked up just as I entered and caught my eye, for some reason I smiled shyly but was greeted by a mere nod. I went to the bar and ordered a Smirnoff Ice and then made my way to the booth. "Alright mate" I greeted Neil, raising my bottle to him. He clicked it with his pint glass but said nothing. I could sense something was wrong because he kept looking around uncomfortably. I watched him closely realising just how fucking gorgeous he actually was, or perhaps he looked especially gorgeous after Friday night. "You ok mate?" I asked. He nodded and smiled meekly, "Yeah just a bit tired" he explained. "Had a busy weekend then?" I asked, hoping to get some sort of explanation as to why he didn't text me over that period. "Not especially" he muttered, he was blatantly avoiding my eyes and the lack of conversation seemed ominous, he normally never shuts the fuck up.
I opened my mouth to question him further but that's when I saw Emma, Neil's girlfriend coming towards us from the direction of the toilets. "Hiya Dan" she shrieked in her annoyingly girly manner. I forced a smile, sitting there watching her slide in to the booth next to Neil, he put his arm around her and they kissed as if they'd been parted for fucking centuries. I felt my stomach tighten into a knot and averted my eyes, I was taken aback by how much it hurt seeing him kissing her, I suppose I was being unreasonable considering she was his girlfriend, but I still felt a sharp pang of jealousy which was such a foreign feeling that I didn't quite understand it. I struggled with my drink but eventually managed to finish it. And all the while there was very little conversation, Emma leaned against Neil and he kept kissing her neck and whispering stuff in her ear, which really pissed me off even more. I thought perhaps I was overreacting but I couldn't handle it, I was crestfallen and it seemed he was acting this way to send me some sort of message?
I didn't order another drink; I couldn't hang around watching them all over each other while I sat there wallowing in self-pity. "I gotta go" I managed to blurt out as I struggled out of the booth and headed for the door. The heart-wrenching feeling was slowly lifting as I rushed down the dark street desperate to get home, but then I heard Neil's voice calling after me. I turned and saw him standing outside the entrance to the pub, "Dan!" he shouted again but I turned back and carried on walking. A few minutes later he had caught up to me just as I turned to walk down a narrow alleyway, he put his hands on my shoulders and spun me around, but I shrugged him off. "What is wrong with you?" he asked. I looked at him sharply but said nothing; the silence was cold and deep while we stood there staring at each other. "What the fuck was Friday night?" I asked. "What?" he shifted uncomfortably.
"We slept together" I reminded him, "or do you do that so often that you've forgotten?" I spat. We were both standing half way down the narrow alley now, lit by a singular street light a few feet away, we had out hands dug into our pockets, trying in vain to protect ourselves from the ferocious cold. "Oh for fuck sake Dan, don't make it into a big deal" he retorted casually. I stared at him in disbelief, "Oh, well I'm sorry that I have feelings" I responded and started to walk away but he reached out and grabbed my arm. "Look" he lowered his voice as if afraid of being overheard, "it was incredible yeah but you have to think about stuff and what it means" "I know I want you Neil and I don't care what it means," his eyes widened at my unashamed declaration, "but you obviously thought of me as a convenient toy that was there when you were horny" He flinched, "Oh come on that's not fair" he complained, his hand still gripped my arm while we stood a mere few inches apart, I felt his breath on my face as he spoke. "You're not being fair either Neil, you cant play games with me" I warned. "I'm not" he searched my face and then sighed loudly, "I've got a girlfriend" he muttered.
I snorted, "Yeah so have I, but she's a girlfriend not a wife, there is no unbreakable commitment Neil, I fancy you more than I fancy her, the choice is obvious for me" He lowered his eyes and released his grip from around my arm, "Its not that straightforward" he muttered. "Will you stop making excuses?" I asked, losing my patience, "you obviously don't fancy me, so why don't you just say that and at least make it sound more fucking plausible" I raised my voice slightly and he quickly looked around nervously. "I do fancy you" he whispered, "of course I fancy you why do you think I came on to you on Friday night?" he asked innocently. I could feel my face soften as my heart fluttered foolishly at the sound of a few gentle words from him, "then why are you acting like this?" I asked tenderly.
Neil fell silent, and for a few moments we looked into each other's eyes, my mind started feeding me random images, images of Neil and I naked and sweaty with our bodies intertwined. I leaned forward and watched as he closed his eyes and lifted his head slightly, I closed the distance between us and kissed his lips gently at first and then as he held the back of my neck I started deepening the kiss, pushing my tongue inside his mouth and licking his perfect teeth as his sultry tongue sought to curl around mine and drive me crazy. I was on the brink of losing myself in his passionate embrace when he pulled his head back and pushed me away forcibly. "I can't do this," he muttered "I have to go back to Emma, she'll be waiting" he started running back up the alleyway leaving me standing there feeling crushed.
I spent the next few days in a state of turmoil. Essentially the only thing that had happened between Neil and I was a single night of sex, in which we didn't even go all the way. Yet I felt heartbroken after the incident in the pub and this made me realise that I'd probably had such feelings for him for a long time, they were simply obscured by the feelings of friendship and trust I also felt. Thankfully I didn't allow myself to make my heartbreak too obvious, I moped around the flat for a bout two days, I spent both days dressed in my boxers, without shaving, just randomly walking around the flat, doing nothing yet feeling extremely exhausted, only sleep eluded me. The nights were the hardest, because that's when there were no distractions and I thought about Neil more than ever. But on the third day I had to go back in to uni and I was determined not to let this affect my studies so I made the effort to shave and freshen up and then I went into uni and religiously attended all my lectures and came straight back to the flat afterwards. Thankfully Neil and I weren't doing the same course so avoiding him at uni was a piece of cake.
Ellie called me a couple of times from Sheffield and I managed to talk to her like normal on the phone, but today she was getting back and I decided the best thing to do was to break up with her now. Okay so Neil had turned me down but I couldn't bring myself to carry on as usual with Ellie while I pined for someone else, it wasn't fair on her and where Neil can pretend and act like an Oscar winner, I can't. I met up with her in the park near her house, hoping she would take it better in a public place, in other words she wouldn't start slagging me off or kicking me in... hopefully. We talked idly for a while to start with, but each time she attempted to kiss me I managed to avoid it. She could see that something was not right and eventually asked me and I was half-truthful, I couldn't exactly tell her that I was breaking up with her cos I was going crazy over my best mate, who as it happens is too much of a coward to give it a real go... I told her things wouldn't work out because I didn't feel the same way about her anymore and I didn't want to cheat her by leading her on. She didn't take it well. She started lashing out carelessly and drew the attention of a few passers by; I sat quietly and let her release all her anger before leaving her with a final apology. As I walked back to the flat I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder, and for the first time in the last few days I felt kind of happy. The happiness of course was short lived because when I got back to the flat, the phone was ringing; I rushed across the room to answer it. It was Neil.
"Hi" he said in a husky voice that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Hi" "What you up to today?" he asked. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and realised I was looking awful. "Not a lot" I replied. "Wanna meet up for a bit?" it sounded as if he knew my answer even before he asked the question, it was the way he used a defeated but expectant tone. "I'm busy" I replied stupidly. "You just said you weren't doing anything," he pointed out. "I lied" I shot back, "something you're quite good at" He stayed silent for a few seconds and then sighed and said, "I miss ya mate" I closed my eyes tight getting the urge to hang up. "I miss you too," I whispered. "Then why won't you come out?" he asked, hope evident in his voice. "It depends who will turn up, the Neil that is my old mate but has no feelings for me, or the Neil that slept with me and held me in his arms all night only to discard me like a used toy afterwards" I was surprised by my own bitterness. "Dan come on, don't let this stand between our friendship, that means a lot to me" the gentleness in his voice made me feel slightly guilty but if I did see him, it would be too painful. "Look we can't just be mates anymore Neil" I said "I'm always going to want more and it's just going to be too difficult for both of us, this is going to hang between us" "So what are you saying?" he asked. "We can't be mates if that's all there is Neil, It will be easier for both us if we don't hang around with each other anymore" Neil didn't respond to that and after waiting for a few seconds I hung up.
To Be Continued...
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