Just the Truth

It seems like my speech is getting a little bit repetitive, don't you guys think? Once again, I'm sorry this piece took so long to be out. Finals caught up with me and then, to my very own back luck, my comp died on me for two weeks. kicks the comp I hope it won't happen again.

Ok, here's the deal, school started once again on August 20th and, lets face it, I'm going to have to study a lot more than I did last semester. And now I'm even taking one more subject. sighs Like five wasn't enough. I've got the next chapter almost done and a date in mind for me posting it. It'll be soon enough, that's for sure. I don't want you people to forget about the story -- if there still are people reading this, that is. I hope there are.

I hope you guys noticed, but if you haven't, I'm going to tell you anyway... this is Just the truth's first anniversary! dances around the room It's exactly one year since the first time I posted it. One year and 15 chapters. Not bad. On the fifteen, it'll be one year and a month since I started writing it. Amazing how time flies. I hope to keep writing this story for quiet a while. Quiet a while, because I sure have many plans for it.

This guys aren't mine -- not for lack of wishing or trying. I don't want to take them hostage (Karen, don't look at me like that honey. I really don't. I swear!). This is all fiction -- a.k.a. NOT REAL.

Big thanks to two guys that are just amazing.

As usual, Karen. You're awesome darling! I still can't believe everything you up with. I'm almost sure you'll end up needing psychological help by the end of our careers, but you're still with me. Thanks love!

Lost! Ok, you rock! This guy has been helping me with my grammar lately -- I'm sure you'll notice. This chapter is beta read by him and you'll see that there's a huge difference. If there are a couple of mistakes left, that's totally my fault.

Send some feedback, coz after all this time I wanna see just how many of you are still with me, at jmfluder@hotmail.com Oh, and, well, because I just get lonely from time to time. ^_~

You can check out the rest of my work at www.geocities.com/sdlucly/

I think that's all I have to say for now.

Now with the story...

Just the truth By M. F. Luder

Chapter 15

I have no idea how long I was there, just laying on the bed, my eyes closed, but I have the feeling that it was a long while. I could feel myself relaxing so much, I was starting to feel sleepy. I heard the door open and then footsteps.

"You awake?"

Nodding slowly, I pulled myself up, sitting on the bed. "Yeah," I stiffened a yawn, my sleepiness hitting me full force. "Yeah, I'm awake."

Kevin walked over to the end of the bed, kneeling in front of me. Placing his hands on either side of my face, he kissed me deep enough to get me awake in a matter of seconds. Kevin had kissed me so many times the past hour, I was starting to become addicted to his kisses.

"We still have about ten minutes before the guys come here," Kevin told me when he pulled away, "do you wanna do something?"

I shook my head slightly, not knowing what was there to do.

Kevin crawled over on the bed, hugging me from behind as he started kissing my cheek softly. He lifted his eyes long enough to look at the side of the door, my suitcases standing there. "They brought your bags. Good."

"Yeah," my voice was barely above a whisper, "while you were at Brian's."

"You could unpack, you know, but it'd be half pointless."

"How come?" My mind was a lot more focused on his kisses than what I could or couldn't do at the moment.

"Well," he said between kisses, "we're leaving the hotel tomorrow after the concert. We usually unpack when we're gonna be staying more than two days."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he moved from my left cheek, to my right one, not missing a beat, "it's one of the downs of tour."

Kevin turned me around, kissing me on the lips. He deepened the kiss, and I was totally lost under his touch and smell. This guy was intoxicating, let me tell you.

When he pulled away, he looked me right in the eye. "I love you."

I smiled softly. "I love you too."

Kevin let himself fall down on the bed, his hand on my neck, pulling me to the bed with him. We both laugh at this, and it wasn't even that funny, but then again, I usually laugh at most things. I rolled over so I was laying down on my back while he was laying on his side, propping himself up on his arm, his head resting on his flat palm.

He caressed my cheek tenderly, his lips twitching up in a smile. "This is great you know. Having you here with me, for an indefinite amount of time."

"Not that indefinite, but long enough." I took his hand in mine, kissing his knuckles softly. I really don't know what had made me feel so liberated, or so comfortable, in a such a short amount of time, but I was liking it very much.

"Yeah," he leaned over slowly, his smile still plastered on his lips, and kissed me, "I like being able to just lay down here, with you, and know that I'm gonna be able to do the same thing tomorrow and the day after tomorrow."

"It does seem different."

"Different? Yeah, well, on tour everything is different. We have other habits. We have interviews, photo shoots, meet and greets, autograph signings and concerts. There's this whole other routine that probably seems foreign to you, but you'll get used to in just a couple of days."

"No," I shook my head slightly, "Not that, not only that at least. It's like..." I sighed softly. "You're kissing me a lot more than before. I mean... back at my house, we kissed like three or four times. Now... now I've only been here an hour and you've kissed me like ten times, maybe even more."

"I think it's because... first of all, I've missed you." Kevin moved his hand over to my nose, his finger running up and down, then moving slowly over to my neck. "I've missed you so very much. And now that you're here, it's... amazing. Really. It's great having you here with me." Leaning over, he kissed me again. "And, back when we were over at your place, I still hadn't been totally honest with you. That had a lot to do with it."

I nodded slowly, trying not to show in my face just how guilty I was feeling. I smiled softly, not wanting to think about it. Not really.

"The tour is different." I agreed with him, and changed subjects at the same time. "I mean, it's like... I don't really know what to do or how to act?" What in God's name had made me tell him that? Maybe Kate was right after all, and the tour would help our relationship.

"How to act? Don't feel forced to do or say something you don't wanna. If you wanna go over and grab something to eat, we can do that. If you wanna go out and do some sightseeing, we can do that as well, even though we'll have to bring the bodyguards." He said with a small smile, "but we can do it. You don't have to do stuff you don't want to."

"It's not that. It's like... I don't know what to do here in your room or when we're with the guys. I don't know what to say." I've always felt like that, when I'm in new places with new people at least. I just... it all comes down to my insecurities, I guess.

"My room?" Kevin chuckled, and I was about to feel hurt when he leaned over and captured my lips on his. "Matt, this is our room. Our room. Not just mine, but yours as well. It's yours ever since the moment you crossed that door. With the guys, well, just go over there and flop down on the couch and watch some tv. That's what we usually do. Sometimes we don't even knock on the door."

"I've noticed." I smiled as I remember that neither Kevin nor Nick had knocked when they went over to Brian's.

"See? Privacy within the group is something pretty nonexistant. We known almost everything about each other. After seven years, there aren't many secrets left in between." As an after thought, he added, "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. In a week or two, you'll feel right at home."

I nodded, not really believing that. It was gonna take me a lot longer - if ever - to feel at ease with the guys. And with Kevin.

Kevin was about to say something when we heard someone knocking on the door. He grinned at me. "That should be the guys." He stood up and was about to start his way over to the door when he turned around and kissed me deeply. "Love you."

I only nodded, a stupid grin on my face, as he walked over to open the door.

I started looking through my backpack, fully knowing I had packed my toiletries. Kate had remained me a thousand times not to forget them, so I knew it was there. Kneeling by the side of the bed, I kept rummaging through my bag. We had already come back to the room after a small lunch in the hotel restaurant. Kevin had his arm around my shoulder the whole way down the corridor and in the elevator, however, as soon as it stopped, he had to slide it down to his side. He told me he was sorry for it, but I let him know it was ok. After all, I knew we had to be careful in public.

We had a nice conversation while having lunch. The guys asked a little bit more about college. What courses we had taken and what they taught us and stuff. It was really great. I mean, they were taking enough time to get to know us. I didn't want them thinking I was only Kevin's boyfriend, but also a friend to them.

"Crap," I hissed as I didn't seem to find my small bag with my toothpaste and toothbrush.

"What ya looking for?"

I turned around to see Kevin leaning against the bathroom door, his hand still on his toothbrush. He was still brushing his teeth, a little bit of paste on the corner of his mouth, and he still looked gorgeous.

"My brush." I sighed softly, frustration taking the best of me. I sat down on the bed, my right leg under my left one, while placing the bag on it. I took my laptop from the bag, placing it by my side, then looked inside. I had about a thousand things in there.

Usually, I'd just take my laptop in that bag, but I didn't want to have everything else in my suitcases. There were about two boxes of zip disks and about another two of normal 3/4 comp disks. My drive zip was there as well, having to connect it to the laptop to use it. I had thrown my walkman and Discman in there. My camera was stuck in there too. I thought I just might be able to get some incriminating Nick pics. Blackmailing stuff is always welcome in friendship, don't you think? My video camera? Actually, Kate had that. It didn't fit in my backpack, so I had placed it in hers. And, on the end of everything there, was this small black zipper bag that contained my toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, re-conditioner and some other stuff Kate said I just had to have.

I heard Kevin walking back to the bathroom, then the water running, and I'm sure Kevin washed his mouth.

"Found it?"

I nodded, then, not really sure if he was looking at me, I spoke up. "Yeah, was under everything else here."

I jumped slightly when I saw a shadow towering over me. I heard Kevin chuckle slightly, lifting my eyes to meet his.

"Sorry," he took a seat by my side, "didn't mean to scare you."

I half glared at him. "It's ok. I'm always jumping like that." Which was the truth. Kate enjoyed that side of my personality a little bit too much. She'd always come into the study whenever I was reading fanfic, placing her hand on my shoulder and making me jump five feet high. Yes, it's pretty funny if you picture it, but it's not funny when you're the one that's reading about Mulder being chased by a serial murderer and suddenly you've got this hand on your shoulder. Nope, not funny at all let me tell you. And I'm sure my heart agrees with me.

Kevin placed his hands on either side of my bag, opening it wider. "Gosh Matt, how many things do you have here?"

I shrugged naturally. "Dunno, most of the stuff I'm gonna need and don't wanna have to look for in my other bags." I picked up my small black bag and opened it. There was exactly what I had been looking for. I stood up and started walking over to the bathroom when I heard his voice.

"Computer disks?" Kevin was looking between me and my bag, his eyes wide open.

I nodded again. "Yep. I don't like having much stuff in my notebook. It doesn't run that quickly if I do. Disks are better," I chuckled slightly. "Zips are a lot better, but disks work too."

"But, this many?"

"I've got lots of stuff saved. Kate keeps saying I should do summer clean up or something like that with my stuff, but I just believe that if I may have some use for that at some point in my life." I shrugged once again, the corner of my lips twitching up slightly. "I've got like a million more back home. I only brought the one I would actually need on tour."

"Why would you need disks on tour?"

I chuckled at his inquisitiveness. He was acting like a five year old. I walked back to where he was sitting and kissed him full on the lips. I parted his with my tongue, feeling daring for a moment. I'm not really sure why I did, but I liked the fact that I was becoming a little bit more comfortable around him. After we pulled away, I was still smiling, but this time for different reasons. It was like his kisses would give me this sugar rush, only experienced before by high amounts of Coke.

"You're asking too many questions, did you know that? At some point you're gonna go out and I'm gonna stay here and get bored. I get bored rather quickly, let me tell you. So I thought I could bring my comp along to join me in those periods of boredom." I stood up and walked over to the bathroom, again, but turned around before even reaching half the space. "Do you mind if I take a shower before we leave?" Kevin had let us know that we had forty minutes before leaving for the venue. The guys were suppose to come over here, once again, so we could go.

Kevin looked up at me, tilting his head slightly. "Matt, you don't have to ask." He spoke this slowly, his southern drawl more pronounced with each word. I think he was trying to convince me that he meant it. "Just say it. I'm not gonna tell you no. Worse case scenario, I'll tell you we don't have time and not that I don't want you to, or allow you to."

I was speechless by the time he finished. He had read pretty easily into my comment, not that it was that difficult, but he had anyway. I had asked for permission. I always did that. It had taken me years with Kate to stop doing it. "Sorry." I looked down at the floor, not really knowing what else to say.

I heard Kevin standing up, then felt his hands on my face. He lifted my face to his and kissed me. "You don't have to be sorry either. This is your place. Every hotel room we're at, it's as much your place as your own house."

I nodded slightly and tried my best to give him a smile. "I'm still getting used to it."

He kissed me softly on the nose, making me wrinkle it unconsciously. "It's ok. I just want you to feel at home."

This time I kissed him. I was still getting used to doing that, kissing him, I mean. This was my first relationship after all. "Thanks."

I walked over to where my suitcases were laying, still by the side of the door, and kneeled in front of them planning on opening one and getting something to wear.

"Why don't you bring it over to the bed?"

I turned around, smiled shyly at not thinking about that before, then nodded. I picked the one that I knew was holding what I wanted to wear, then placed it on top of the bed. I opened it again and got out a pair of boxers, another pair of jeans, a gray long sleeve shirt and a white undershirt. Socks and shoes could wait till after I got of the bathroom. As much I cared for Kevin, I was still way too shy to undress in front of him.

I picked up the clothes, then looked at him. "I'm gonna change in there... I mean..." Hey, at least this time I didn't ask about it, I told him.

Kevin nodded, a smile on his face. "It's ok. I don't wanna push you into anything."

I took my clothes, zipped the suitcase once again, then dropped it by the side of the door. I walked over to the bathroom, smiled at him one last time, then entered.

Thirty five minutes later, I was in front of the mirror, in my clothes, bare feet, combing my hair. I usually take from thirty to forty, and even fifty minutes, in the shower. I just love standing there, the water running down my face, for the longest time. Kate hated me for that. She always says that I am about to melt in there whenever I take longer than fifty minutes.

Kevin was sitting on the bed, reading a couple of papers from the file I had seen earlier that afternoon. I still hadn't asked him about it, but I was kinda sure it had to do with their schedule.

I heard a knock on the door and mentally said a soft 'Crap' at the fact that I hadn't been able to hurry with my shower.

"I'll get that." He stood up, placing all the papers back in the file, then walked over to the dresser. He placed the file there, along with a couple more files, and moved to where I was standing. Hugging me from behind, he kissed me on the cheek.

"Love you." He whispered in my ear, his southern drawl making me shiver.

"Love you too." I said back as I watched him walking out the room.

I finished brushing my hair. Not that I need it that much, since I have my hair pretty short. Really short, one would say. Kinda brush length. I threw the brush on the bed on my way over there. I walked over to the bathroom and got out the towel I had totally forgotten to retrieve. I looked around the room, and found myself in a predicament. I had no idea where to put the towel. I shrugged and threw it onto the bed, covering my brush. I walked over to the side of the dresser and picked up my bag from the floor, placed it on the bed and opened it. I had started looking for my socks, when I heard the door open.

"Who was it?" I asked, not really looking up. I had about twenty socks, all different, not paired up. I kept trying to find the pair of the one I had on my hand. This situation was actually a lot harder than it looked. All my socks are white till my ankle. Either Avia, Nike or Adidas. The only thing that distinguished one from the other, besides the names, were the color of the names. I've got about six Avia socks, a couple have Avia sewed on black cotton, or gray, or blue, or sky blue and so on.

"Me and Howie."

I turned around the moment I heard the voice. "Hey there Nicky boy."

He glared at me as he walked closer to the bed. Dropping himself beside my suitcase, he continued glaring at me. Didn't he have something more interesting to do than glaring at me? "Will you cut it out with the Nicky boy line?"

I looked at him, squinted my eyes, my left eyebrow shooting up, then shook my head. "Nope."

He only glared at me again. I continued looking for the pair of my sock. Nick shifted for a moment, then realized he had been sitting on my wet towel. And on the brush. He wrapped the towel in a small ball and picked up the brush. Lifting it so I was able to see it, he lifted his eyebrow, asking me silently about it. I only shrugged.

Nick shook his head, then let the brush fall once again on the bed. Meanwhile, I continued my search for the sock. Usually, I wouldn't mind and just pick one out, not really caring if the color of the letters or even the name matched, but this time I was going over to a concert. At least I had to have matching socks.

"What ya looking for?" Nick, always the inquisitive guy.

"Well," I started tossing my socks out of the suitcase, not really wanting to take more time than I already was. The last thing I wanted was the guys arriving late because of me. "I'm looking for the pair of this sock. One with black Nike letters."

Nick started looking through the socks with me until he found the one I was looking for. I smiled at him. "Thanks."

I sat down on the bed and proceeded to put on my socks.

"Why don't you pair them up?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. I usually pick them up from the laundry and drop them in my drawer. Never really pair them. Sometimes it takes me forever to find the pair, sometimes I just don't bother and pick up the first two."

"Even if they don't match?"

"Yep." I stood up and kneeled in by the bed, looking for my sneakers that I had left under it. "No one is gonna see my socks, so why should I bother."

I stretched my arm as much as possible, since the stupid shoe was right in the middle of the bed. Kevin probably kicked it without noticing it. I heard some rummaging of clothes as I got it out. I straighten up, placing my arm on the bed, and suddenly felt a little bit dizzy.

I clenched the bed covers with my hand, trying to make the room around me stop spinning as much as it was. A second later, it was gone. I let out a soft sigh of relieve. Turning around, Nick was still going through my stuff. Apparently, he hadn't noticed my wave of dizziness. Good, I didn't want him making something out of nothing.

Remembering why I was kneeling on the floor, I grabbed my other shoe, it was right by the edge of the bed, so it didn't bug me that much. I sat down on the bed once again, and started putting on them.

"You don't have much clothes. Or color in your clothes." Nick said as he continue moving around both my shirts and jeans. "Here are... what? four jeans. Five maybe."

"Six." I corrected him.

"Six? Just that? And they are all blue. Or sky blue. And your shirts are either black, or white, or blue, or gray. A lot of gray at that."

I finished with my shoes, then stood up and closed the bag while Nick had his fingers out of it. Half the shirts were moved from where I had originally placed them, but I didn't want to arrange it at that moment. "Yep. I like gray. Most of my shirts and T-shirts are gray."

"You need to go shopping with me man. Like... yesterday!"

I shook my head convincingly, not really wanting to talk about it. Picking up the wet towel, I showed it to him. "What do I do with this?"

Nick shrugged, "Put in the bathroom. The maid should come while we're gone and change it for a dry one. That's what I do."

I looked at him, not really knowing if that was the right thing to do. Nevermind. I'd have to ask Kevin about it later. It was, after all, late as it was. I trotted to the bathroom and threw the towel inside. Thank god it landed on the toilet.

"We need to get you a new wardrobe. You've brought, what, four suitcases?"

"Three." I corrected him again. I couldn't believe he was still worrying about it. It didn't seem important to me. "One of them has got some X-Files videos. We could do a marathon."

But he wasn't really listening to me, I think. "Three? Just three?" His eyes were wide open, not really believing me, so I nodded at him. I picked up my black jean jacket just before leaving the room, along with my backpack, just in case I got bored, Nick right behind me.

The rest of the guys were sprawled around the living room area. Not really knowing why, all of them had gym bags by their side. I didn't really give it much thought. Kate was sitting on the couch talking with Brian while Kevin was looking at some papers. Again.

"Three what?" AJ, tearing his attention away from the conversation he was having with Howie.

I sighed. Kevin was right when he said that there was no privacy whatsoever in this group.

"Three suitcases man. Just three!"

Both AJ and Howie looked at me. Brian lifted his eyes from his conversation with Kate and met mine. Kevin walked over to where I was, taking my hand in his.

Kevin shivered unconsciously for a moment. "Your hands, they are cold. Freezing."

I smiled and shrugged, "They always get like that after I take a shower or wash them. They get cold rather easily. They'll warm up very soon." It was the truth. Proven. Ok, so not that soon, but soon enough. After just washing my hands, it'd take them at least half an hour, maybe forty minutes to get back to their usual heat. Yes, I'm weird like that.

He nodded slowly, then moved his hand over to my shoulder, holding me close to his side. I was starting to like this position very much. It was like I felt protected by him. Amazing, since I've never really felt like that. Not even with Kate. She was great, that's for sure, but there were things that even she couldn't make better.

I had forgotten about the little discussion the guys were having about my wardrobe until I met Kate's eyes. She was grinning from ear to ear. That little bugger! She had always complained about my lack of style when it came down to clothes.

I could see Brian was about to ask something. I'm not so sure what since I had partly zoomed out a little while back, but I beat him to it. "Yes, I've got three suitcases. Yes, one of them has got more X-Files stuff than clothes." I turned to Nick. "Yes, I like gray and that's why half my shirts are gray." Nick chuckled at this, since I was wearing a gray shirt. "Yes, if you look closely enough, I usually only wear either black, or white, or gray or blue. Reason? I like the colors. No, I don't need to go shopping, I like my clothes the way they are."

"But you don't have many things!"

I glared at Nick. "I've got enough. More than enough. I'm only staying here for the summer, not the rest of the tour. You guys are the ones that need the most clothes not me."

"Well," Kate started while standing up and walking over to where I was standing, "Some shopping wouldn't kill you and I did suggested you to go with me to the mall last month."

"I'm not going shopping. I've never really liked going shopping."

"Oh," Nick started jumping from one foot to the other, totally ecstatic. Are you sure this guy is 20? I mean, are you really sure? Have you guys seen his Birth Certificate and proven that he wasn't born in 1990 instead of 1980? Because he sure as hell behaves like a kid. "That's because you've never gone shopping Backstreet Style!"

"I don't even wanna ask what that means," I said dreadfully, more to tease him than actually thinking it was the truth.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Nick was half glaring at me, half pouting. I think he just didn't know if he should tease me back or feel hurt.

I chuckled. "Nothing. I just don't wanna go shopping."

"He's right, you know," AJ walked over to where I was standing, pulling his glasses a little bit lower down his nose. "You should really go shopping one time with us."

"Why is my wardrobe suddenly so interesting? You shouldn't even care what I wear. I'm telling you guys, if you find this amusing, then you need to get yourselves a life." My tone was teasingly, laughter lingering in my words, just to let them know I wasn't bugged by that, but I was only joking.

The guys saw this, Nick especially as he glared at me and was about to answer with a come back but Kevin beat him to it. "Guys," he started, his arm never leaving my shoulder, "we're gonna be late."

We all nodded at him, the guys picking up their bags. I hadn't even noticed Kevin leaving the room with a bag. They all had gym bags, like my own with my swimming equipment. Speaking of which, I should really remember to get it out of my other suitcase tonight after the concert. Brian handed Nick his while Kevin picked up his own from the arm chair on the way over the door. Even Kate remembered to bring her backpack just in case. Ready to go, the seven of us walked out of the room. However, to my very slight surprise, there were five very big, very wide men standing in the hallway.

I couldn't help but look around, not really knowing what to do. Kevin's arm was still around my shoulders and I could feel myself starting to panic.

Kevin smiled easily, squeezing my shoulder slowly. "It's good to see you guys are back." Kevin offered one of them, the one closest to Kevin's side, his hand, and the man shook it enthusiastically.

This guy nodded, "Had some trouble with security over at the venue. Bunch of morons."

Kevin chuckled. "It's always the same. One would think they'd know how to handle things by now." The man nodded again, laughing at the inside joke I didn't get. Realizing I was there for the first time since we left the room, Kevin looked at the five guys, then at me. "Guys, this is Matt and Kate. My boyfriend and Nick's friend."

Ok, this was the second time today that I was out of breath in such a short amount of time. I know I'm too young to get a heart attack, but I think I should just go over to the doctor for a check up. You know, you can never be too careful. He had told them? Just like that?

I saw two of them blinking, looking between Kevin and me. The other two didn't react at all. One of them, the one Kevin had talked to, was smiling. "So this is the boy that has been putting that smile on that old face of yours, Train?"

Kevin chuckled, and I heard the guys chuckling as well. "Yeah, this is my boy." Somehow, I didn't like how that sounded. "Matt, Kate, these are our bodyguards." Kevin start naming them, from left the to right. "Adrian, Howie's bodyguard." He was taller than Kevin, very nice red hair and white skin. Lovely pair of hazel eyes. "Walter, Brian's." He was blond, with very nice blue eyes. Kinda reminded me of Hulk Hogan. This two were the ones that were looking at both Kevin and me. "Marcus, AJ's." He was black, very big, and with this look that said 'come any closer and you're toasted'. "Eric, Nick's." He had soft brown hair and eyes, white skin, and fairly huge. At least 6"2'. I think that out of the five, he was the most scary one. A necessity, I guess, to keep the teenyboppers at bay. Marcus and Eric hadn't even batted an eye at us. "And this is Carl, my bodyguard." The man Kevin was assigned to was the tallest of them all. He was down right huge. He looked about 6"4' and like 200 pounds, maybe even a little bit more. Black hair and eyes, but very white skin, kinda like Nick's. Schwarzenegger didn't hold a candle to this man, let me tell you. I'm sure Carl could have beaten Arnold up with an arm on his back. All of his weight was muscles, not even one once fat. Amazing.

I offered my hand to greet him, but he moved closer to where I was standing and, taking me away from Kevin's protective arms, hugged me tightly. I felt like I was choking up. Carl practically crushed me. That man had too much strength for a single human being.

Carl pulled away, arms length, enough so he could look at me. "Welcome to the Backstreet family."

I smiled. Hearing Kevin laughing, I turned around. "Carl, you're gonna choke him to death!"

"Yeah, well," He let me go and Kevin placed his arm around my shoulders once again, "someone has to introduce him to the family."

"What?" Nick complained from his side, "and we don't work?"

His bodyguard walked closer to him, patting him on the back. "Nick, who better to introduce him to the gang, than the ones that keep you five alive?"

Nick only glared at him, I think used to this kind of teasing. I'm not really sure if they were teasing Nick because he was in the group, or because he was the youngest.

"So," Brian's bodyguard started, once again, looking between Kevin and me. "You two together?"

I felt Kevin stiffening slightly by my side. "Yeah." He answered, his voice stern.

Howie's bodyguard started laughing, and I wasn't sure of the reason. I was hoping neither of them would feel uncomfortable about it. The last thing I wanted was Kevin having implications about our relationship.

Howie turned around to look at his bodyguard, surprise plainly written on his face. "What's so fucking funny Adrian?"

I could tell he was pretty mad, since he was frowning. I had never seen him angry, and something told me that he wasn't that angry even. Barely mad. I couldn't really blame him. I was half mad with the man, and I barely even knew him. I think I was mostly worried.

"Nothing," Adrian said after recovering from his laughing fit. He turned around to look at another one of the bodyguards. "There you go Walt, pay up."

Walter sighed dramatically and pulled out a couple of bills from his pocket, giving them to Adrian. "Asshole."

"It just kills you that I was right." Adrian looked at the other man, then continued laughing as he placed the money in his own pocket.

"What the hell?" AJ looked between the two guys. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing really." Adrian dropped his arm around AJ's shoulder. "It's just that when the tour started, I bet Walter that at least one of you had to bat for the other team. He's just cranky coz I won."

"Shit," Marcus spoke for the first time since I saw the five guys, "I could have bet if I had know. Coulda made some money on my own."

"You bet on one of us being gay?" Brian seemed totally surprised, his usually calm blue eyes were wide open.

"Not necessarily gay." Eric corrected. "At least bat half the time." It seemed like Eric knew about the bet as well.

"Yeah," Adrian added himself, "Even though I thought it'd be Nick."

"What?!"

That really brought a reaction from Nicky, let me tell you. He could yell pretty loud. He was looking between the five bodyguards, not really believing he had heard right. Hey, I wasn't sure if I had heard right. But that didn't stop me from laughing at it.

Apparently the rest of the guys and the bodyguards found this funny too, coz they were cracking up like it was the end of the days. Kevin was laughing so hard, he was half leaning onto me not to fall. Brian had his hand on his stomach, and I was sure it should be hurting by the way he was laughing.

"Man," Adrian started, patting Nick on the shoulder, "I care for you, but I gotta admit, you do look kinda gay to me. At least bi."

That got the guys cracking up once again. Kate was laughing hysterically, tears coming from her eyes as she got a hold of Nick's arm just to not to fall on the floor. I was laughing as well, my hands clutching Kevin's sweater, trying not to give to up in to my desire to kneel on the floor and finish laughing for all I was worth. I was trying my damnedest to get some air in my lungs. I was gonna choke for real otherwise.

"I do not look gay!" Nick kept complaining. He was looking at all of us, waving madly, his hair moving from side to side as he kept looking back and forth.

"Yes you do." I added my two cents. My hands moved on their own accord over my mouth, covering it loudly. I was so surprised I had said something like that. Usually, I was relatively shy around new people. Ok, so maybe not shy, but I didn't go saying stuff like that either.

The guys were just as surprise as me, since they turned around to look right at me.

"See?" Adrian continued bugging poor old Nick. I wasn't really feeling pity for him, since it was too fun to watch. "Everyone can see it."

That seemed to get us all started once again. Nick kept looking at us, trying his best to look hurt, but even I could see laughter in his baby blues. Come on, even he could accept it was a good joke.

"Guys, sorry to cut down the fun," Carl said after he was able to control his laughter. Nick was glaring at him, probably bugged by the fact that teasing him was the object of our fit of laughter. "But," Carl continued, "we gotta get to the venue."

Kevin nodded, his hand squeezing my shoulder. "Guys, lets get going."

No one said anything after, we just walked over to the elevator. I'm still surprised twelve people can actually manage to squeeze in one elevator. Kevin's hand didn't waver from my shoulder until we reached the second floor. He dropped his hand, turned around and smiled at me. I smiled back, understanding. When we reached the first floor and the elevator's doors opened, the quiet hallway we had encountered earlier this afternoon when we had gone to lunch was a totally different picture than the one we found. I could hear the screams from the front door and, let me tell you, it was deafening.

The bodyguards took their positions around the guys, Kevin still by my side. Kate was right behind me, Nick by her side. I was glad Nick was staying with her, since I was a little bit concerned about how we were gonna leave. We walked over to the side of the lobby, the front desk to our right, and the main door about sixty feet from where we were.

"Ok, this is what we do." Carl looked at us, then at the front door, then back at us, "AJ, Brian, you two go first. Nick, you then go with Howie. Kevin, bring up the rear. Kate and Matt, you go last and get in the van right away. The guys should take about five to ten minutes to sign some autographs."

"Wouldn't it be easier if Kate and I took a cab to the concert?" I hadn't actually thought much about it until the words left my mouth. When I heard what I had said I realized it was, after all, a good idea. The guys wouldn't have to answer why in God's name there were a guy and a girl jumping in their van.

I saw Eric about to answer, but Kevin beat him to it. "No," he said adamantly, "you're not gonna take a cab every time we're going to a show. You can come with us in the van."

"It's not such a bad idea." Walter added, Marcus nodding in agreement.

"No," Kevin repeated, not even bothering to look at them, but looking right at me. "No. You and Kate, both, are coming with us."

I wanted to be stubborn, to tell him that it'd be a lot safer, for all of us, if Kate and I just took a cab. After the little encounter with Michael, I was still a little shaken up about being a threat to the guys. More than anything, I guess, I wanted to fight it back. But I just didn't.

Kevin's eyes were looking right at me. Not at their bodyguards, who should know better about this. Not at the guys, because, after all, this did included them as well. Not even at the girls that would ask a million questions the minute they saw us there with them. Just at me. And what I saw in his eyes frightened me. I saw love.

It scared me deeply because he was taking a chance at this. Even if it was a small chance, he was risking something. And Kevin knew that Michael would throw a fit about Kate and me riding with them. It scared me because I could see just how convinced he was of his decision. Because I knew he'd fight me back if I said something about it.

I think what scared me the most, was that I really, after seeing his eyes, didn't want to fight him on that.

I just sighed softly, not really wanting to start my ranting there. I'd talk with Kevin about it later. We needed to. One thing was their fans seeing us one time, or twice, but all the time? They were bound to get suspicious at some point, and I didn't want that.

I nodded, not saying much, and not turning to look at Kate. I knew she'd go with whatever I ended up deciding. She would do what the guys thought was best for them, and if Kevin didn't mind us going with them, then she'd be fine with it too. Me? That was different.

"Ok, good," Carl looked at us, who were still holding gazes, not really sure what to do, "lets get going people."

Kevin nodded, then finally broke eye contact. He turned around and, taking the positions Carl had assigned each one of them, started walking towards the front door. Kate and I stayed behind, giving the guys enough time to start signing autographs and taking pictures with the girls.

One of them stayed a little bit behind -- Howie's bodyguard, I think -- a couple of feet in front of us.

"Aren't you going out with them?" Kate asked him, her head tilted to the side.

I had been thinking the same thing, but Kate beat me to it. I turned around to see her, and realized she had her backpack in her hands. Seeing Kate carrying her bag, I almost slapped myself upside the head. With Kevin placing his arm around my shoulder, I'd forgotten 18 years of manners and let her carry her bag herself. I crossed the space between the two of us and took the bag from her hands. She smiled at me, the way she always does whenever I do it, and placed it on my right shoulder while mine was still dangling from my left arm along with my jacket.

Adrian shook his head slightly, his eyes darting between the guys, who were already scattered among the groups of the girls on either side of the pavement, signing autographs and smiling at them, and us. "No, Eric is gonna look after both Nick and Howie for a minute. I gotta watch the two of you make it to the van safe and sound. Then, I'll join him."

I nodded, slightly worried about Howie. He was alone out there, even if Eric was gonna be looking after him. This guy was his bodyguard and he wasn't guarding Howie to guard us. I didn't like that.

A moment later, Adrian motioned for us to walk to the door. I looked at Kate, waiting for her to nod before we started walking out of the hotel, side by side. I don't even think the girls saw us, since they were too worried about catching one of the guys. Adrian stood about four feet behind us, not really doing much but looking at our backs.

We made it to the van, the same blue van that had picked us up, and entered. Moving over to the third row of seats, we sat down. I turned to look and saw Adrian outside, a couple of feet by Howie's side, looking between the fans and Howie.

Something I hadn't really noticed when Kate and I first climbed into this van was that, well, it wasn't as small as I had thought. Nope, not small at all. This wasn't your typical SUV, but a bigger one. I mean, I don't know a thing about cars, but this had four rows of seat, not really counting the driver and the passenger door. I guess they got this one because it was more spacious for the guys and their bodyguards.

I placed both her bag and mine on the floor, by my feet, as I turned to look at her. "Amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I know." It didn't surprise me that she knew exactly what I was talking about. She turned around, looked at the guys through the tinted windows, then back at me. "They are so... comfortable with them while the girls keep screaming."

I nodded, half stunned myself. "Yeah, but then again, they've been doing this for years. You gotta get used to it at one point."

"Good to see you guys."

That voice made us turn to look at the front seat of the van, meeting a familiar pair of brown eyes.

"Luke?" Kate was vocal in her surprise a lot quicker than I was.

"Yep," He smiled, turning around in his seat, dropping his arm along the length of the front seat, "I get to take the boys from the hotel to the venues as well."

"That's great," I said, my surprise passing fairly quickly, "they should be getting in soon enough." Well, duh! Like he didn't know that himself. Yes, sometimes I have the tendency of stating the obvious.

Kate giggled by my side, understanding the fact that I had just said something Luke knew by heart.

Luke nodded, not bugging me about my lack of wit that moment. "You guys going to stay for the show, right?"

Kate nodded. "All the way till the show." She squinted her eyes, met mine, then looked back at Luke. "When does the show start anyway?"

Luke scratched his eyebrow in a reminiscence manner. "Around 7.30 if I'm not mistaken. The guys should have sound check, then practice and the concert."

"Yeah, they said so themselves." Before I could continue with my rambling, Nick hopped into the van, taking the second row, stretching his legs along the length of the same.

"You here so fast?"

Nick looked at Kate and nodded. "Yeah, it's just signing a couple of autographs. It's not like it's a meet-n-great."

I didn't really understand what he was talking about, but didn't ask either. A minute later AJ and Kevin entered the van. AJ walked all the way to the back seat, Kevin behind him as he slapped Nick's legs, motioning for him to give him some space to sit.

Nick sighed dramatically, like it really bothered him to have to sit decently instead of half laying down on the seat, as he dangled his legs to the other side and still turned around on his seat to keep talking with us.

Kevin smiled at me, really smiled, not that very different smile he had plastered on his face when he walked out of the lobby. I didn't really understand the change of mood, or why the shade of his eyes had cleared so suddenly. Not really wanting to talk about it in the van, I hoped to remember it later so I could ask him about it, when we were alone.

Howie and Brian joined us right after that, Howie walking to the back with AJ, to talk, I guess. Brian, however, took the front seat all by himself. I couldn't help but think that maybe it'd be more comfortable for either Nick or Kevin to take the front seat, since they were larger than Brian, but I guess they didn't mind that much. Kevin could have changed seats, but that'd have mean being two rows in front of us, and I had the feeling he didn't want that. How sweet.

I saw Carl walking over to the van, then close the sliding door forcefully and climb into the passenger seat right away. "Lets go Luke," I heard him say.

I turned to look at Kevin. "Aren't the rest of your security coming with us?"

He shook his head. "No, usually only one or two come in the van. They'll follow us behind."

I only nodded, not sure what to say. I had the sinking feeling that they weren't coming in this van because Kate and I were taking space. I didn't said this aloud, of course, but I'd have to talk about Kevin about this as well.

The van pulled away from the hotel and I barely even noticed. I could hear AJ and Howie talking about something I didn't understand, Brian yelling at them, apparently participating in the conversation even if he was about ten feet from where they were. Nick and Kate were laughing about something Kate had told him. I didn't catch the whole thing, but from what I did, it was about her latest project and how her and the rest of the group were suppose to meet to decide upon the construction and ended talking the afternoon away.

Kevin and I talked quietly, not really hearing the rest of the guys during the whole ride. Kevin told me how he and the guys had played basketball about two days ago, how he had forgotten to tell me over the phone, and how AJ had been suffering coz it was Brian, Nick and him against AJ and Howie. I laughed at it, but I think I actually laughed at the way this ever present smile of his was plastered on his lips, at how his eyes shone brightly, and how he moved his hands to indicate everything about the match. I loved it. I loved how he talked with me.

Far too quickly the van stopped and Kevin said, "We're here."

I only nodded, looking out the window. We had stopped at a gate and some security guard was talking with Luke, then we moved down the entrance and over to what looked like the parking lot. The engine was turned off and Brian opened the door, hopping down. Nick was next, extending his hand for Kate to take. I jumped next, half excited about being in a concert. Well, forgive me but I had never ever before gone to a concert, let alone gone backstage. Kevin followed suit, walking by my side.

Kevin checked his watch before speaking. "It's three ten," he said softly and I got the idea he was talking to me more than talking to the guys, "so, we've got twenty minutes to kill. After that, we've got sound check, then practice. If we're on schedule, we should have about half an hour before we need to get ready for the concert."

I continued looking around the place, trying to see everything at once. The place was huge. We walked out of the parking lot and down a hallway. The bodyguards had arrived shortly after us, Marcus taking the lead. I didn't know if the guys knew where they were actually going, but I hoped that at least the bodyguards did.

Kevin opened a door on one of the sides and the guys followed suit, so I entered as well. The room was rather large, a couple of couches on the sides, a table on the left with some food on top, a cooler by its side.

AJ moved over to the back of the room, picking up a bottle of water and throwing his gym bag over to one of the chairs standing near by. Not saying anything, he made his way to one of the couches and sat. Brian joined AJ shortly, letting his own bag fall to the side of the furniture they were both occupying. Nick went straight for the food table and picked up a sandwich. Apparently he didn't care enough for his bag as AJ did, because he let it fall, unceremoniously, onto the floor when a chair was not even twenty inches from where he stood. Kate sat on the arm of the unoccupied couch, her backpack on her lap. Kevin sat down on the couch, Kate to right, pulling me to his chest. Kevin, too, let his bag fall to the floor, not really caring about it. Me, on the other hand, have too much concern when it comes down to the keeper of my sanity -- my computer. Like Kate, I placed it safely on my lap, my hands folded on top of it. After checking the table once more, Nick apparently decided there was nothing else to catch his attention, as he leaned against one of the walls. Howie was the last to enter, throwing his bag to his right, barely making it on top of one of the chairs before sitting on the arm of the couch. These guys really didn't mind damaging whatever their bags held, that's for sure.

I looked at Nick, my eyes squinting just a little bit, munching happily what looked like a chicken sandwich. I still couldn't believe how Nick could be hungry when, barely an hour ago, we had had lunch. Especially because Nick ate a whole lot more than I did. If I was not mistaken, he had steak with bake potatoes for lunch, along with salad and chocolate cake for dessert -- even though Kevin complained, rather vocally, about it, telling Nick it was too much sugar, and, of course, Nick didn't listen. I, on the other hand, had chicken with salad. No dessert, since I was quite full after the chicken.

Maybe, in other circumstances, I would have said something. Bug him about it. But I didn't. Oh, if it had been Kate, I wouldn't have thought twice, saying something along the lines of she was eating too much for her small petite form. But it was Nick, and even though we had talked thousands of times in the past couple of months and I thought of him as a friend, I still couldn't bring myself to say something so blunt. Less of all with the guys in the room.

So, I didn't say anything, just looked at him and smiled. It must have been a rather enigmatic smile, because Nick looked back at me, tilting his head slightly to the left, his right eyebrow shooting up -- very Kate-like -, a question in his eyes. I shook my head, barely moving, letting him know it didn't matter.

AJ took another sip of his bottled water before speaking. "How much time do we have and what we gonna do?"

Kevin checked his watched once again, and I stopped myself before doing the same -- I've got this very bad habit of needing to know what time it is at all times. "Twenty minutes before sound check," Kissing the top of my head, Kevin shrugged and continued, "whatever you wanna do guys."

"We can play basket." Brian suggested, looking between Nick and Kevin. I'm not so sure, but I got the feeling that if anyone was gonna agree to that, it would be both of them. And I think specially Nick, since in our phone conversations, he'd been very vocal in his love for basketball.

However, before Nick could say anything -- agree with Brian would be my guess -- Kevin spoke up. "Nah, the ball is in the bus and, even if we did have it, it'll take us half the time to warm up."

"Pool." Howie's voice made me turn around to look at him. "The table in the common room should be up already, right?"

Pool? Not that I didn't like it, I just never even imagine that they could have a pool table in a venue. Isn't the table a little bit... big to take from time to time?

"Sure," AJ stood up and dumped the bottle in the trash can before walking over to the table to pick up another one, "it's been ages since the last time we played."

"You guys do know how to play pool, right?"

Kate looked at Brian, smiled softly at him, then back at me. I wanted to laugh, that's for sure, at the way she was looking at me, but I held my ground. "Yeah, we can manage."

I only nodded. We weren't good, but at least we could hold our ground. Still, it had been ages -- ok, about a month -- since the last time we had played pool. I didn't know how well the guys played, but something in the back of my mind told me there was huge possibilities that they were very good at it.

"Then pool it is," Kevin stood up and offered me his hand. Placing my hand in his, he pulled me to my feet. "Lets go poppet."

To say that everyone froze in their places, that all sound stopped, would be an understatement. It was so very like someone had paused time. AJ and Brian had barely managed to stand up before turning to look at Kevin, then at me. Howie was still sitting on the arm, his eyes moving from AJ to Brian, then to Kevin, looking at him with a wide surprised look in them. Nick, I was able to see in my peripheral vision, had straightened but, the words had shocked him so much, he had lost his balance, bouncing back to lean against the wall. Kate had stood up, rested all her weight on her left foot and crossed her right leg in front of the other, the tip of her right sneaker against the cold floor as her eyes found mine and tried to read what I was thinking.

I broke eye contact with Kate, deciding she wouldn't know what I was thinking at the moment when I, myself, had no idea at all, and turned to look at Kevin. His beautiful green eyes were staring right back at me, clearing for a moment. I knew he was surprised at his own mistake -- something I did know was that he hadn't meant to say it right then and there, maybe ever -- and probably worried about what I was thinking.

"Poppet?" The word left my lips, my tone amazing even myself, since it showed anything beyond total calmness and control.

Kevin started biting the side of his lower lip, his head tilted to the side. "I... I'm sorry. I just... I didn't mean to say. I won't--"

"Why?" I asked, cutting him off in mid sentence. "I mean," I knew the question had sounded harsh, not really my intention, "why that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. A couple of weeks ago I remembered it and it seemed suitable." Kevin shrugged again, his own voice doubtful, "If you don't like it--"

"I... hmm... it's not that really," and I didn't need to look at Kate to know she was glaring at me, her right eyebrow shooting up until it almost reached her hairline in that frustrating habit of hers, fully knowing I wasn't telling the whole truth. "I..." letting a small smile on my lips, I hoped it looked somewhat natural, "it's ok. I kinda like it."

Kevin smiled at me, his dimples showing and his eyes bright, then leaned over and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered into my mouth, capturing it once again, "I love you."

When he pulled away, he turned to look at the guys. "Well, lets go then." Not really waiting for an answer from the guys, Kevin walked over to the door and opened it, AJ and Howie walking out of the room first, Kevin and I following them.

Nick looked at Kevin, then at Matt, then moved over to where Kate was standing. "Now, that was a first," he whispered in the girl's ear, having to lean over in the difference of heights, "I thought Matt would say something totally different."

Kate nodded, her eyes not leaving the back of her very dear friend. "Yeah, well, so did I." And she had the impression Matt's response was only a cover up, a habit he had turned into an art. 'Oh, yeah my friend,' she thought, 'we'll have to talk about this later on. Just the two of us.'

Brian, waiting for Nick and Kate, smiled slowly. "Ten bucks AJ will bug him about the whole 'poppet' thing before the end of the day." Brian was looking right at Nick, but then shifted gazes to the younger girl.

Nick smiled himself, knowing AJ most certainly would, but having another bet in mind. "Ok, you're on, but twenty that Kevin will silence him with just a look."

Brian glared at the blond, feeling already ten bucks short. "Sure, whatever. It's gonna be fun to watch."

Kate shook her head slightly, praying that both Brian and Nick were wrong in their assumptions of AJ's antics and even Kevin's reaction, since she knew Matt wasn't as comfortable with the pet name as he let on. Seeing his stiffen back, his hands in his pockets as he walked side by side with Kevin, Kate confirmed her suspicious: Matt didn't like it.

We entered another room, the third door on the right, which looked very much like a cafeteria. There were tables on the side, a small kitchenette on my left, the pool table on my right. I walked over there, Kevin pulling one of the chairs from the tables. He offered it to me and I shook my head.

"I'm fine, thanks." I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed over my chest. Kevin, leaving the chair in its original place, stood by my side.

"Aren't there a little bit too many of us for just one pool table?"

Brian's concern was right, since I was starting to think the same thing. I had never played with six other people on only one table. Back in college, we had four -- tops.

Kevin counted the number of cue sticks, eight, then shrugged. "We can manage. The point is killing the time, so it should be fine."

Howie shrugged as well. "It's fine by me."

The rest of the guys nodded, agreeing to play as good as we could with as many people as we had. Well, there's always a first, right?

"Ok, people," AJ started, looking at the seven of us, "we gotta see who goes first."

Nick took one last bite of his sandwich, then threw the wrapper in the trash. He shrugged. "I don't care, lets just play."

"Rock, paper and scissors?" Brian suggesting, pulling a chair and sitting on it.

"Too many." Howie looked at us, then walked over to where the cues where and picked one.

"We can--"

Nick was about to suggest something else, I have no idea what, when Kevin interrupted him. "This is the order: Howie, Brian, Nick, Kate, Matt, AJ and me. Period."

I tried my best to fight the grin that seemed to want to make its way to my lips. Kevin had this very powerful parent side he just couldn't escape, don't you think?

"Well," Brian started, standing up to get a cue stick for himself, "that at least saved us some time."

"Why am I second to last?" AJ, too, got a stick, walking over to the side of the pool table and leaning against it.

Kevin and Nick moved over to the side of the room, getting two sticks each. Kevin gave me one, Nick gave Kate the other. This kid sure had very nice manners.

"Thanks," I whispered to Kevin, a smile on my lips.

He smiled back before answering AJ. "Because, between the five of us, you're the best. At least you gotta give the rest a chance."

"And why are you the last?" I asked. "Are you even better than AJ?"

I heard AJ snort, then laughed. "Nah!" He said, "I can still beat Train's butt anytime."

Kevin shrugged. "I really don't care when I play as long as we play."

Howie picked up the triangle and broke. He didn't get a ball in any of the pockets, sighing softly to himself as he walked to one of the chairs and pulled it out so he could sit. Brian stood up, walked over to the table and prepared his shot. He got the blue one in, then missed the red stripped one. Nick got two in a row, then missed.

"It's your turn Katy-sweetie." Nick said teasingly, knowing Kate hated being called Katy or Kitty.

She stood up, glared at him, and walked to the pool table. She wanted to get the green one in the side pocket. Kate lifted her eyes long enough to meet mine, smiled, then hit. The ball went right to the pocket.

"Damn girl!" AJ said, "You're good."

Kate smiled gracefully, then moved to the other side of the table. Before too long, she had three in, but missed the fourth.

I stood up as Kate fumed over her mistake. "I'm so very sorry darling, but that's just the way things happen." I smiled at her innocently. "People miss."

She glared at me. "Oh, please!"

I chuckled slightly, focusing on my shot. The last thing I wanted was to miss the very first time I was playing with the guys. I was sure I wouldn't really mind missing the other times, but at least this one I had to get the ball to get to the pocket. I held my breath as I hit. To my very own surprise, it went in.

"Way to go Matt!"

"Thank you, thank you." I said to Nick before moving to the other ball. I was half stunned when I cleared the table.

"How in God's name did you do that?!" Nick was standing, hitting his cue stick with the tip of his sneaker. "I mean, I've been playing with these guys for the past three years and I still can't do that."

"For Pete's sake Nick," Howie looked at Nick, half glaring at him, "I've been playing for over ten years and still can't do that."

"We're not that good," Kate said. Good for her, coz I really had no idea what to say. She looked at me as I prepared the next table. "We're just lucky. You'll see that in a couple of days, we won't even be able to make a shot." Which did sound like the truth. I had very bad luck whenever it came to pool. I could hit four or so balls in a row and then nothing. And I mean nothing. Zip.

"Yeah, she's right." At least I had to say something. You know, agree with her.

"Still, where did ya learn how to play pool?"

I shrugged, looked up at Nick, then back at the pool table. "Richard taught us?"

"Richard?"

I was able to recognize AJ's voice -- not that he doesn't have a very unique voice either -- and lifted my eyes to see him for a moment. I prepared my shot, missing it for a mile.

"Crap," I hissed loudly, "See?" I turned my focus to Nick for a moment, "Ten to one I won't hit for the rest of the game."

He nodded, chuckling at my predicament, just as I was about to answer AJ's question. "He's Kate's father." I used my cue as a cane, walking over to Kate's side. "He loves pool and back when we were in Massachusetts, he taught us how to play."

"Not that college doesn't help either."

I nodded at Kate's comment. "Yep," I leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling my throat dry and dying for a Coke. "Whenever we have an hour or so to kill, we head to the pool room by the side of the campus."

"You play that much?"

AJ stood up and walked to the side of the table, and, somehow, I got the feeling that the boy was gonna clean the table before we even had anther chance to play again.

"Not that much," Kate answered Brian's question, her chin resting on the back of her stick, "but sometimes. A couple of my faculty friends like going over there to kill time, so Matt and I join them from time to time."

"I don't know why I've got the idea that 'not that much' is about an hour or so a week. Am I wrong darling?"

Kate only glared at Nick who had, apparently, picked up my habit of calling Kate any pet name that comes to my mind.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

I chuckled slightly. "Nick, an hour a week is not that much, if you think about it. Sometimes we don't even have an hour to spend. It's rather... spontaneous us going over to play. Besides, I'm totally sure that you play more than that."

Nick squinted his eyes slightly, then just smiled. "Yeah, well, we ain't talking about that."

I laughed at his reaction. I didn't say anything as I heard AJ hitting a ball. Turning around, I came to find the pool table two balls short. Yep, this guy was most certainly good at it.

"You're eating it."

Kate's whisper in my ear surprised me for a moment. I turned to look at her, not really knowing what she was talking about. "Huh?"

She leaned to my side, her eyes still focused on AJ's game. "You're eating it." She repeated. Making eye contact with me, she continued. "You're bothered by the pet name, you just aren't saying anything it."

I sighed inwardly, not wanting to talk about it. I turned to look at AJ. So what if I was? I knew it was gonna pass in a day or so, finally getting used to it.

"That's not the point."

I was shocked at Kate's words. I turned to look at her quickly, totally stunned by the way she could read me. Sure, we'd been friend forever, but that didn't mean I was so transparent to her, did it?

"It's not that bad, you know."

Her voice was really soft and I had some trouble understanding what she was saying. "How come?"

She shrugged as AJ made another shot and hit it perfectly, getting two balls in. "It's a nice pet name."

"It sounds childish." The words left my mouth before I could even think about them, my tone indignant and it was a miracle it wasn't loud enough for the rest of the room to hear -- I have a loud tone, even when I want to whisper.

Compassionate and very understanding eyes met mine and I knew she had known that ever since Kevin said it. I sighed softly, looking at the pool table again. If I kept up with this tennis match, I was gonna end up dizzy.

"He doesn't mean it like that."

I nodded, still looking at AJ hitting his fourth ball in a row. The guys were chattering in the back, AJ answering something Brian had asked, Nick laughing at it. I saw Howie and Kevin talking in my peripheral vision and was pleased that Kevin didn't realize what Kate and I were talking about. "I know." My voice had suddenly lost all strength, so very low, it didn't sound like mine at all.

She placed her arm around my shoulders, giving me half a hug. Kate kissed my cheek affectionately, her arm moved around my back, resting on my hip, then leaned her head on my right shoulder, making herself cozy in the crock of my neck. "He loves you. He thought the pet name was nice and kept it. It shouldn't really bother you that much."

I knew she was searching for my gaze, so I conceded and looked at her. I was right when a small smile was looking right at me, brown tender eyes shinning under the room light.

"It doesn't imply anything."

I kissed the top of her head, once again thanking my lucky stars for whatever it was I did right in my past life to get a friend like her.

"I know. I know."

Neither of us said anything, just stood there; her arm around my waist, her head on the crock of my neck, my right arm around her slim waist, my head on top of hers. Quite a Kodak moment, if you ask me.

"Oh, fuck!"

AJ's loud hiss called my attention. Apparently, the boy had missed his shot. "AJ, how many?"

"Finally! I thought I was never gonna play!"

I laughed at Kevin's words. He smiled softly at me, walking over to the side of the pool table to make his first shot of the night.

Picking up his stick and glaring at Kevin, in annoyance would be my guess, AJ got a chair from the nearby table. He placed it by the side of the pool table, not close enough to get in the way nor far away enough to miss the action in the place.

"Six."

"Holy cow!" My suspicious had been right after all, the guy could play. "How long have you been playing?"

AJ scratched his goatee for a moment before answering me. "About five years or so." He jerked his head in the direction where Howie was standing. "D and I used to go over to this club in Orlando to play some pool after theater practice."

"Yeah," Howie smiled sarcastically, "even back then, when AJ was only... what? Fifteen, he was way better than me." He sighed softly. "I think my future is in never getting a ball in."

My eyes were focused on Kevin as he leaned over the table and measured his shot. The way his arms moved and his muscles tightened under his white shirt was intoxicating. "You talk like you suck at it." My tone was calm and I was rather proud at my self restraint.

"He does," Brian said, chuckling at his own comment, "He really does suck at pool."

Kevin looked at the ball one last time before hitting. Perfectly aimed, it went in. His eyes met mine, smiling softly, before moving to the other side of the pool table, walking beside me.

"That's one of the reasons he hates playing it."

"I do not!" Howie turned indignantly over to Nick, who was only laughing, his eyes wide open. "I don't hate playing. I just..."

Kevin barely lifted his eyes to look at the guys interacting. 'After all these years', Kevin thought to himself as he looked at his next shot, 'they still act like teenagers.'

"Rather play something else?" AJ finished, a grin plastered on his face, the sound of Kevin getting another ball in the top right pocket as a background.

These guys really enjoy bugging the hell out of each other, didn't they? But then again, so did I when it came down to Kate. I chuckled to myself, Kate turning to look at me, and I only waved it off.

"You're nuts," she whispered softly before rolling her eyes nonchalantly.

I continued chuckling, answering between laughs. "Yeah, I know, but you love me anyway." I leaned over and kissed the top of her nose, her reaction being, as usual, her wrinkling it.

The sound of a cue hitting a ball rather hard made me turn to look at the pool table. Kevin was standing on the other side of the table, his eyes locked with mine, his usual clear green amazingly dark, his hand gripping the cue stick tightly was what met me.

"Well," Howie started, standing up from his chair, leaning against the cue heavily, "at least I'm going to try to get something in."

Kevin didn't say anything, just walked over to my side, his grip in his stick not lessening. His head rested loudly against the wall, his eyes looking at the ceiling in a very disturbing manner.

Kate, still on my right, whispered in my ear. "What is it?"

I shrugged, not really knowing what was wrong.

Brian, oblivious to the small exchange between Kate and I, chuckled, his cheek resting on his open palm while his shoulder was propped up on the corner of the table, "You can do it D."

Howie only glared at Brian, not really bothering with an answer.

I tilted my head to the side, trying to catch Kevin's eye. "You ok?"

He barely turned to look at me, then back at the ceiling. He only nodded. "Yeah," his voice sounded hard, his throat rather dry, "I'm fine."

Somehow, I didn't believe him. I still had no idea what could have changed his mood so suddenly. And, to be truthful, I didn't want to know. Things were fine between us, but that didn't meant it wouldn't be long before I did something stupid and totally screwed everything up. I sighed inwardly, drawing Kate's attention.

"You ok?"

I only shrugged, not sure at all. "I'm dying for a Coke." I said out of the blue. I turned to look at Nick, who had, apparently, seen the whole interaction. Just what I needed. "Where can I get a coke?"

Nick looked at me for a long moment, then answered. "There's a cooler in the corner."

I turned to where he was pointing and realize that it had been there all along and I just hadn't seen it. I nodded. "Thanks." I walked over to the corner of the table. On my way to the cooler I saw Howie standing up from his shot. I had been so drawn into my musings that I hadn't even realized he had sunk the ball. "Good one Howie."

He smiled at me, nodding slowly, then prepared for the next shot.

"Anyone want something?" I asked. They shook their head, Kevin not really even bothering to look at me, still focused on the ceiling. Nick kept trying to analyze me, and somehow I had the idea that treat was Kate's influence. "A coke."

"A Sprite would be nice," Brian added

I nodded at both of them. "Sure. You darling?"

Kevin turned to look at me, surprise totally visible in his emerald eyes. He was about to say something when Kate cut him off.

"You know I can't refuse a Coke sweetie." She was smiling, her eyes soft and tender.

I chuckled slightly. "Thought so."

Brian looked at Matt's retrieving back as he made his way to the cooler, then turned to look at his older cousin. Kevin's green eyes were also following Matt. Brian sighed softly. He would have to talk with his older cousin. That was most certainly true.

I got three Cokes and Brian's Sprite before walking back to the pool table. I gave Brian his Sprite just as Howie missed his second shot.

"Crap!" Howie hissed loudly, his face totally angered. Still, I was almost sure he wasn't gonna hold it against the guys for more than... lets say, two seconds.

Brian laughed as he took the can from my hands. "Thanks," he said and I nodded. He stood up, opened the slit, took a sip and prepared to make his shot.

Kate, I was not really sure why, had moved over to where Nick was standing, so I walked over there. I gave Nick and Kate their cokes and then I took a long sip of mine.

Nick opened his can, the whole while looking at me, then took a sip.

I took another sip of my coke, frowning at the inquisitiveness in his eyes. "What?"

He continued looking at me for another moment before answering, "You should stop it, you know."

"Stop it?" I take another sip, confused and suddenly really thirsty. "Stop what?"

Kate looked between the two of us, being confused herself. "What are you talking about?"

"That," he said simply, like we should know what he's talking about, "the whole calling Kate 'darling' and that stuff."

"You're kidding right?" I shifted my weight to my other foot, my hand feeling cold against the already warming can of coke. "Why? I've been calling her that since I was like... five."

"Yeah well," he turned to look at Brian making his second shot, this time not missing, then started running his finger over the metal circle on top the can, "you never had a boyfriend before, now did you?"

I got angry all of a sudden, not really knowing why I was getting angry. "What is that suppose to mean?"

Kate placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it softly. "Matt."

I looked at her, her eyes were pleading with me to calm down and hear him out before going ballistic with no reason whatsoever. "No, I wanna know." I looked at him, hoping he would lift his eyes and meet mine. "What was that suppose to mean?"

He sighed softly, apparently listening to my silent request as he lifted his eyes to mine. "What I meant," Nick said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "is that now you have a boyfriend. Don't you think you should call petnames to him?"

I glared at Nick. I had been affectionate with Kate ever since I met her. She and her parents were the only people I was so affectionate with and I wasn't about to stop. "No. I don't think so. I call Kevin petnames as well, ok? That has nothing to do with it."

"Look--," Nick added, leaning over closer to me to answer, when he was cut off by Brian's voice.

"Nick," the three of us turned around as we heard Brian talking, "your turn."

Nick looked at me one last time, making sure this conversation wasn't over -- and it sure as hell wasn't -- before turning to the table to make his shot.

"He's got a point you know."

I almost choke on my coke when I heard Kate saying that. "You have got to be kidding."

She shook her head, taking another sip of her coke. "Nope. I mean, try to see it from his point of view."

"Oh please--"

"Hear me out will ya? A minute ago you called me Darling, remember?"

"Sure I remember, I always do that."

"Yeah, well, you've got a boyfriend now. Maybe you should watch the corniness between us?"

"No, no way. It's not like we're doing something we shouldn't. Sure, he's my boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I can't be close to you --"

"I'm not saying that--"

"No, you're only implying it." I took a breath, trying to keep my voice down, "Kate, I was just being my usual self with you. It's not like I'm cheating on him for God's sake."

"I know."

"Then?"

"The point is," she sighed, probably tired of arguing with me, "maybe we shouldn't call each other that."

"I'm not stopping." I stated firmly, not wanting to bulge. I cared a lot for Kevin. Hell, I loved him, but that didn't mean I was gonna stop calling Kate darling just because we were together.

"Matt," she sighed, frustrated and tired of all this, knowing that I wouldn't change my mind, "at least." Kate sighed again. "Crap. Look, at least let's tone it down a bit, ok? Stick with Kate and Matt for a change."

"For a change? You've been using my name more the past five minutes than the whole day." I said with a smile, taking a sip of my coke.

Kate flicked the can, the liquid moving inside, wetting my nose.

"Hey!"

She smiled sarcastically. "There you go darling."

I only stuck my tongue out. Kate laughed at it, and I chuckled myself. Not wanting to go in search of a napkin, I brushed my sleeve on my nose, cleaning it.

Brian watched Nick start playing, the young blonde's eyes darting between the table pool and the conversation Matt and Kate seemed engaged in. His eyes moved to the tall figure standing on the other side of the pool table, leaning against the wall, looking at Matt with what Brian would call his 'critical' eye.

Walking over to where Kevin stood, Brian took a place by his side. "You're gonna end up with an aneurysm at thirty, you know that?"

Kevin met Brian's eyes for a split of a second before focusing on the game: Nick hitting his first ball square in the middle, sending it to the left pocket.

"Oh please, why don't we act like we're family, like I've been practically living with you for the past six years, like I know you better than anyone and talk with me, huh?"

Kevin, eyes still fixed on Nick's game, only sighed warily, leaning rather heavily on the cue held in both hands in front of him.

"Ok, you wanna play this game?" Brian continued talking, his eyes, too, focused on Nick's game like it was the most interesting thing ever. "No problem then. I'll just talk and you'll listen."

Brian sighed softly, hoping he was able to talk to Kevin in a more private place, but this would have to do. "There's nothing for you to worry about, you know?" Brian knew Kevin wasn't gonna answer, so he continued. "So, he kissed her on the nose. He probably does that all the time. It shouldn't bother you." Brian paused as Nick made his second shot. "You also know that he's always called her nicknames like that. We've heard them calling each other that since we met them. It didn't bother you before."

"We weren't together before." Kevin's voice was barely above a whisper and Brian had to strain to hear it. Kevin turned to look at Brian for a moment, green meeting blue, then back at the game as Nick sent in the third ball.

Brian knew it was bothering Kevin, but he had hoped he was reading it all wrong. "Yeah, well, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

Kevin shrugged. "He's more affectionate with her."

"They've known each other longer." He turned to look at the pair in question. Matt and Kate seemed to be in rather heated conversation.

"He's my boyfriend."

"She's his best friend."

"Does that mean she's got more rights over him that I do?" Kevin glared at Brian, challenging him to answer, then back at the game.

Brian sighed frustrated. "That's being possessive and you know it. You're only jealous Kevin."

'Well, it seems like I'm gonna be jealous of those two for quite a while, doesn't it?' Kevin thought to himself with an anger tone. 'Jealous of what they have together.'

Brian turned to look at the two of them once again just as Kate flicked Matt's Coke can, saying something Brian couldn't hear. Then, as an answer, Matt stuck his tongue out at Kate, the two of them chuckling at the action.

Kevin snorted as he saw the two of them interacting. "Yeah, well, that just answered my question, didn't it?"

Brian wanted to say something else, to try to convince his stubborn older cousin of the fact that just because Matt was affectionate to Kate didn't mean he didn't love Kevin, but stopped himself. Kevin wouldn't believe him, there was no point in trying to voice it. Brian sighed. The only way Kevin would believe it would be if Matt himself told him. 'I just hope Matt realizes it soon enough.'

Nick walked over to where Kate and I were standing, smiled softly at us, and looked at Kate, jerking his head over to the pool table. "Your turn."

She nodded, thanked him and made her way to the table.

I sighed softly. I knew he wanted to talk to me about the same thing and I sure didn't want to.

"He's jealous."

I looked at him, stunned. "What?"

"Kevin." Nick started, resuming his almost forgotten can of Coke. "When you kissed Kate's nose, Kevin got jealous. That was why he lost his shot. He missed it by a mile because he looked up just as you kissed her."

"That's nuts."

Nick shook his head, took another sip, then continued. "He saw that. Got mad. Then, when you asked her about the coke, he thought you were talking to him."

I went through that conversation in my mind and everything seemed to fall into place. Great. Just great. First day on tour and I'm already screwing things up. "You mean--?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm not saying that you shouldn't call her 'darling' or anything like that because it's wrong. I'm sure he understands you're really close to her, but I also think it just hit him. I mean, he though you were talking to him."

I sighed. Great. Oh, yeah, just great. "I wasn't. I mean... I..." I sighed again. "I wouldn't have called him that. Not in a public place like this. Not with people coming and going."

"I know that. I know he knows that. But that doesn't mean that in that moment, when he heard that word, he didn't think you were talking to him."

My eyes moved over to Kate's leaning form, lining up her next shot, then rubbed my face with my palms. "I didn't mean it like that." I turned to look at Nick. "I've always been like that with Kate. I don't think I could stop now. Force of habit and all that. I... crap. I gotta talk with Kevin, though."

Nick nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Yeah, talk with him. Explain it to him."

I was about to answer... something, I'm not really sure what, when, out of nowhere, Kate was standing by my side. I jumped like two feet high, my heart beating way too fast for any normal chart. "God, Kate, you scared the daylights out of me."

Kate only looked at me, not even feeling guilty. Why would she? She's always doing it and enjoying it just the same. "Your turn Matt."

I walked over to the pool table. Lining up my shot, I realized that there were very little possibility that I'd be able to make a good shot at all. I had nothing on the table to play. I sighed softly, my eyes lifting slightly, watching Kevin watch the end of his cue like it held the truth of government conspiracies. I sighed again. I most certainly had to talk with him. Focusing on the table once again, I made my shot... and missed by a mile.

I got a tight grip on the cue stick and walked over to where Kevin was, seeing AJ moving over to make his shot. The boy was going to clean up the table. I was totally sure he was going to win, probably seconded by Kevin.

I leaned against the wall, my shoulder brushing Kevin's. Ok, I have to be truthful, it was more something like my shoulder was brushing about three or so inches above his elbow. I turned around, hoping he'd look at me. "Hey," I said softly, a small smile on my lips.

Kevin turned around and his eyes found mine. And I knew he was still bugged by what happened. "Hey," he said himself, but rather cold, then turned back to the game.

I wanted to say something, to let him know that what had happened had been an accident, that it wasn't that I wanted him to think something that totally wasn't, but it was just mere habit. Still, I had the feeling that it'd be a lot better if I talked with him in private.

I slumped my shoulder, defeated, then, just as Kevin had done barely a minute before, focused on the game. My mind was trying to find a way to get Kevin out of the room and talk with him when the door opened and one of the bodyguards, I'm not really sure who, either Eric or Carl, walked into the room.

"Walter, hey, what is it man?" AJ said as he looked up from his shot, stopping just in time not to miss it.

Ok, so it was someone entirely different. I had the feeling that I better learn the guys' names before I made a fool of myself in front of them.

"Sound check ready?" Kevin spoke up for the first time in a quite a while. Totally sucks that it was directly to one of the security guys and not even me.

"Well," the man started, grimacing slightly, "there seems to be a problem with the sound."

"Problem?" Kevin's voice was stern and I had the feeling that he wasn't really pleased with this. "What kind of problem?"

Walter shrugged. "I'm not really sure. They said they'd call you in as soon as they got if fixed. Half an hour, forty minutes tops."

Kevin, his eyes focused on Walter's, snorted. "Great. That long?"

He shrugged. "Don't really know Train. Sorry. I was just sent in to let you guys know." Giving the guys half a smile, he left just as quickly as he had entered.

"So," Nick looked around the guys, his eyes ending up at Kevin's, "what do we do now?"

Kevin sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I really don't know. I guess we just wait until they call us."

"There's gotta be something better for us to do than play pool." Howie rubbed his eyebrow. "It's taking us forever to end this game."

"Hey, B, doesn't Mitsubishi take his ball with him everywhere?" AJ asked. "Maybe he's got it and can lend it to us. You know, play for a while."

"Shit!" Nick hissed loudly, looking at Brian, then back at AJ. "I don't fucking believe I didn't remember that. Of course he has! He can't live without playing ball before coming to practice." He turned back at Brian. "Care to go ask him?"

Brian nodded enthusiastically. "Damn yeah. Lets go Frack."

Before any of us could say anything else, they were gone. Where? I really have no idea.

Kate laughed, "Well, that was fast."

Howie chuckled at Kate's comment. "Yeah, well, those two are really bored. They'd rather play ball than pool. And, to tell you the truth, so would I."

"Oh, come on D, don't tell me you didn't enjoy our little game."

Howie only glared at AJ, before hearing him laugh. Howie rolled his eyes, muttering loud enough for the rest of us to hear, "You were only having fun because you were beating the crap out of us."

AJ stood from his chair in one movement. "Damn right I was! We should have bet."

Kevin snorted. "Yeah, right, like someone is stupid enough to put money against you." Kevin lifted his eyes from the floor, looking somewhat more relaxed than before, and met AJ's brown ones. "It's been ages since we've played for money."

"Maybe we should go back to the old times, don't you think Train?"

Kevin was about to answer him when both Nick and Brian burst through the door, smiling so much I was afraid they'd crack their faces.

"We got it!" Nick hollered as soon as he entered the room, calling some of the techs' -- I think the people who were in the room were techs -- attention, but not really caring. He started doing this very weird victory dance and I couldn't help but laugh.

"We're going over to the back to play some ball, you guys coming?" Brian asked, dribbling the ball back and forth between his legs, then bouncing it off the wall, then back between his legs.

AJ and Howie nodded, apparently more interested in playing basket than playing pool. Kate shrugged, "Sure, why not. I'll watch."

We started making our way out of the room when I saw my opening. If I wanted to talk with Kevin, now was the time. I trotted to catch up with Kevin, who had quite a rapid pace. "Kev," I said softly, catching his attention, "can we talk. Just the two of us?"

Kevin looked at me, confused, then nodded slowly. "Sure." He turned around, "Guys, you go on. Matt and I are going back to the dressing room, ok?"

Brian nodded, shrugging. "Sure. If they call us, I'll let you guys know."

Kevin nodded, acknowledging that he had heard Brian.

I caught Kate's eyes for a moment, but it was enough to understand what she was telling me, standing almost three six feet away and by Nick's side. I had to talk with Kevin. And I knew she was right and that was exactly what I was going to do.

The guys looked at us for one last moment, then took off to wherever 'the back' was, leaving the two of us alone, in the middle of a hallway I had no idea where it led.

Kevin looked at me, "Why don't we go over to the dressing room. We can have some privacy over there."

I nodded, not really sure where else we could go. After all, there were people coming and going pretty much everywhere I turned. "Sure."

And so, we started our way back to the dressing room, Kevin leading, me only following. We didn't say anything the whole way.

Ok people, that was all for now. I think enough till the next time we meet. And, hopefully, there still are people reading it.

Please, send me some feedback with your comments about it at jmfluder@hotmail.com I love to hear what you guys think.

Take care and investigate.

M. F. Luder