Just Together

Disclaimer: This story is fiction. It makes no claims to the true personality or sexuality of anyone involved. You already know if you shouldn't be reading this.

------------------ Just Together by jm_stories ------------------

Chapter XX

=-=-=-=-=-= Jonny =-=-=-=-=-=

*** [ Friday, Nov 23 ]

"So are you going to call him or what?" Adam asked me as I stared at the phone.

"Yea. I just gotta psych myself up to be rejected again."

"You're reading way too much into everything."

"Yea, I know. Why don't you go take a walk or something? It's nerve wracking enough without you making faces at me."

Adam just laughed and went to torture Jay in the living room. I picked up the phone and dialed Pasha's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Pasha. It's Jonny," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hey. How was your Thanksgiving?"

"Really good. I'm still full. So you can talk now?"

"Yea. I just had...um...a friend over before. So you want to do something today?"

"I was gonna say tomorrow, but today is good. Wanna go to the mall or something? Like Christmas shopping without any money?" I offered.

"Yea. That sounds like fun. Is anyone else coming?"

"Adam. Remember, he's the friend who was with me at the show."

"Yea, I remember him, kinda. Do you want me to pick you up? You don't have a car, do you?"

"No. I don't even have my full license yet. Yea, picking us up would be cool. What time do you want to go?"

"Now?"

"Um, yea, sure. Now is good."

"Okay. So how do I get to your house?"

I gave him directions. He said it would probably take twenty minutes and we hung up. "YES!" I yelled and did a little happy dance.

"Something went right?" Uncle Joe said from behind me and I jumped a mile.

"Don't do that," I huffed.

"Don't be so jumpy," he shrugged. "So what..."

"So you guys got a date?" Adam interrupted as he came back into the kitchen.

"Kinda. We're gonna go to the mall today."

"When are you going?"

"We're going," I said to Adam. "We were gonna go anyway, and I don't want it to seem like a date until I know if he's gay or not. If you're there, then it's not a date."

"You could take Jay, too, and then it really wouldn't be a date," Uncle Joe smiled.

"No. No. Pleeaassee don't make me take Jay. This is the first kinda-but-not-really date that I've had with a guy. Please don't make me bring Jay," I begged.

"I was just joking," Uncle Joe smiled.

"It's jokes like that that will make me a lonely old fag."

"Or humping the leg of everyone like a dog," Adam added.

"So when are you going and when will you be back?" Uncle Joe asked.

"As soon as he gets here, and I don't know. Probably by eight, at the latest. We'll just be at the mall and I'll call if we go somewhere else."

"Good boy. He's driving?"

"Yea."

"Good. Make sure he comes in so I can meet him."

"It's not a date yet."

"So? I want to know who you're going out with."

"Fine," I sighed. "Just don't be weird to him. Don't scare him off."

"You're the third kid I've been through this with. I think I have the routine down," Uncle Joe smiled.

"I know. That's why Joey never brings anyone home."

"Maybe. It could also be that he scares them off after the first date by himself."

"Yea, well this isn't a date yet, so no interrogation or anything. He's just a potential friend."

"I promise I won't start talking about condoms," Uncle Joe laughed.

"You scare me sometimes," I muttered and went to get ready.

"That's my job," Uncle Joe called out as Adam and I left the kitchen.

"I'm gonna change into something else," I said to Adam and ran upstairs.

"What's wrong with what you have on? You're not gonna get all girl weird and change clothes a thousand times, are you?" Adam teased as he followed.

"Yea, whatever. We'll see what you do if you ever have a date. Not like that's ever gonna happen," I shot back.

"I thought you said it wasn't a date?"

"It's not, but it's close. It's like a pre-date, or something. If this goes good then maybe we'll have a real date," I said as I looked through my closet for the right shirt.

"Yea, great. Then you'll be talking about him even more," Adam groaned.

"I haven't talked about him to you since that night. What about this shirt?"

"I don't care. You know, you're gonna have your coat on. It's not like he'll really see your shirt anyway."

"Come on. Help me out, here. How about my NYU sweatshirt?"

"You look fine in what you have on."

"You're no help. I think the NYU sweatshirt. It'll be good karma," I decided and changed my shirt.

"You're not gonna go through pants and shoes now, are you?"

"Why? Do you think I should?"

"I was joking. You look fine. Just like before. Remember? It's not a date. It's just a pre-date."

*** [ Saturday, Nov 24 ]

-=-=-=- Jonny and Gareth chat -=-=-=-

iamjam: hey

gareth85: hey stranger

iamjam: sorry. been busy when u r on.

gareth85: 's okay. i've been busy 2.

iamjam: thomas?

gareth85: :-D

iamjam: good. is that a 'i've got a boyfriend' or a 'i got lucky' smile?

gareth85: both.

iamjam: really?!? bastard!

gareth85: one of us has to get some. ;-P

iamjam: so? details?

gareth85: he stayed over. we slept together and gave each other bj's.

gareth85: it was FANTASTIC!

iamjam: cool. i may have a possible bf.

gareth85: really? who? what's he like?

iamjam: i don't know if he's gay yet, but jonah and michael think so.

gareth85: they've met him already?

iamjam: yea. they were here for thanksgiving. just left yesterday. we went to see 'nsync monday night.

gareth85: in concert?

iamjam: yep. it rocked. that's where i met pasha.

gareth85: pasha is the guy?

iamjam: yep. he's russian -- or his 'rents are.

gareth85: description...

iamjam: about as tall as i am. probably the same weight, maybe a little thinner. blonde hair that's short and spiky. beautiful blue-gray eyes.

gareth85: i'm in love already. ;-)

iamjam: he's totally hot, but really shy. he's got 'rent issues.

gareth85: and you don't?

iamjam: not like his. they just ignore him, he says. maybe that's why he's so shy.

gareth85: i don't understand.

iamjam: he's not very confident. he also gets this really cute smile and blush when you say something good about him.

gareth85: weird.

iamjam: i think all he needs is a good boyfriend.

gareth85: you, of course.

iamjam: of course. :-)

gareth85: you've had a date already?

iamjam: not really. we went to the mall yesterday to hang out. adam came too.

gareth85: what were you doing at the mall that adam came? ;-P

iamjam: adam wouldn't be there for that, thank dog.

gareth85: pasha knows u r a big queen?

iamjam: not as big as u, but yea.

gareth85: i seem to remember u r a little bigger.

iamjam: how can u be so horny when you've got your bf?

gareth85: cause he's here right now...

gareth85: va a, jonny

iamjam: hey. isn't that backwards?

gareth85: yea. he says it's how all the hip people talk in paris. the french are weird...sdfsdaldk

iamjam: he attack u?

gareth85: yes i did. sorry, he won't be able to chat anymore right now.

iamjam: i suggest u throw him down on the bed and ravage him.

gareth85: i like your thinking. ciao.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Well. At least someone is getting some.

"Didn't you hear me yelling? You've got a call," Jay said as he threw open the door.

"I didn't hear you. Who is it?"

"Some guy named Chris. Who's that?"

"A friend from school," I said and ran down to grab the phone. "Hey, Chris," I answered.

"Shit, man. Took you long enough," Chris said.

"I was online and had my music turned up. What's up?"

"Party tonight. My place. Tell Adam, too."

"What's the occasion?"

"Um...Post-Thanksgiving-pre-break-over-parents-out-of-town bash."

"Okay. Cool. What time?"

"Around ten. You may want to plan on staying the night. My brother is in town and he's gonna buy us some beer."

"I'll ask. Who all is coming?"

"As many people as I can get ahold of."

"Okay. You still in the same place?"

"Yep."

"Okay. I'll be there if I can."

"Cool. Bring some munchies or something if you can. I've got more calls to make. Later," Chris said and hung up.

I put down the phone and went in search of Uncle Joe. He was in his office reading a boring psychiatry book, of course.

"Is it okay if I stay overnight at my friend Chris' house tonight?" I asked.

"Who's Chris?"

"He's on the soccer team, and was in 'West Side Story'. He played Riff."

"What are you going to be doing?"

"He's having a party."

"An overnight party?"

"Yea. It's easier than trying to catch the train home when it's late, or having to leave early."

"So there's going to be alcohol and no one wants to get caught," Uncle Joe surmised.

"Why do you think that?"

"Remember? You're teenager number three. Number eight if I want to include my brothers and Jonah."

"So can I?"

"If you're there and you have something to drink, I don't want you going out. Stay put. Got it?"

"Got it."

"And don't drink so much that you get sick. Take it easy."

"I know how to drink."

"Do you?"

"Yea. Don't look at me like that. I'm not some secret alcoholic. I just had too much before and know how much it sucks."

"Okay... Is Adam going with you?"

"I don't know. I haven't asked him yet. He was invited."

"Okay," Uncle Joe said and tossed me a notepad. "Write down his name, address and phone number. What time does it start?"

"Ten," I said and grabbed a pen to write down the info.

"Where does he live?"

"Near the Montrose station."

"If Adam is with you, you can go. I don't want you out at night alone."

"I've been out alone at night before."

"You've also worn diapers before, but I doubt that's something you're about to do now," Uncle Joe smiled.

I just looked at him. "You are so weird."

He just shrugged. "Take it or leave it."

"Yea, okay. I'll let you know," I said and went to call Adam.

"Hey, dude. What's up?" Adam said as he answered the phone.

"Chris is having an overnight party tonight. We're invited."

"We? You make it sound like we're a couple."

"You wish. We're friends and we live close to each other. Don't be phobey."

"I was just kidding, dude. Why an overnight party?"

"'Cause it's easier than catching a train that late, not to mention we'll have to walk or take the bus to the Howard station just to get there. He's also gonna have beer."

"Serious?"

"That's what he said."

"I don't know," he said hesitantly and then whispered. "If my 'rents find out I'll be grounded forever."

"Then don't tell them, dorkus. You don't have to drink. They can't ground you because other people were drinking."

"Yea they can."

"Then don't be a dorkus about it. Just ask them if you can stay the night at Chris' place. If they question it just tell them that I'm going. They trust us when we're together."

"You already asked?"

"Yea. I can't go unless you go with me. Uncle Joe doesn't want me out alone at night in Chris' neighborhood."

"Is it a bad neighborhood?"

"No, just not this one. Come on. Go ask them. We're supposed to be there around ten."

"I'll have to call you back to let you know. Later," Adam said and hung up before I could prod him again.

About fifteen minutes later the phone rang. Jay grabbed it and then handed it to Uncle Joe. I could tell it was Adam's 'rents calling to check out the story. Uncle Joe told them everything -- beer included. Great. Now they'll never let him go. I glared at him as he explained what he knew and how he saw it. Yea, right. Like his 'rents are gonna let him go get drunk at a party because he asked and wasn't sneaking around.

"Problem?" Uncle Joe asked me after he hung up.

"Oh, no. Just that they'll never let him go now, and if he can't go then I can't go," I said sarcastically.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you told them there's going to be beer there."

"I knew and I'm still letting you go -- qualifications in place."

"Yea, but you're different. I'm, like, kid eight or whatever to you. You've already been broken in. He's kid one for them."

"Very true. They may think they're actually protecting him by not letting him go -- and maybe they are and I'm wrong."

"They already said he couldn't go?"

"No. They didn't tell me their decision. They were going to talk with Adam about it. They don't need my approval and I don't need theirs. I wouldn't give up hope just yet. There are some things going on that you're probably not aware of."

"Things like what?"

"Just parent things. Things you probably wouldn't understand right now."

"Try me," I said.

"Okay. Do you know much about Adam's life before he moved here?"

"Yea, we've talked about it. He said he didn't have many friends because he lived so far away from everyone."

"Right. No close friends. That meant no parties unless one of them could take him there. No just hanging out. Everything had to be a big production, or nothing. More often than not, it was nothing," Uncle Joe explained.

"So, what, they're trying to make up for it by letting him go to parties now?"

"Not exactly. I'm going to tell you this in confidence. Keep it to yourself. If I see you trying to exploit it, you can bet that I'll stop it and you'll wish you'd never tried."

"Yea, okay. What?"

"They're happy that he's got a close friend now. They're happy that he's out doing things with people. They were worried that he was spending too much time by himself."

"So they were worried he was becoming a big nerdy wallflower," I surmised.

"Something like that," Uncle Joe smiled. "And who better to pull him off the wall than someone who always dances in the center of the room."

"I'm not that gregarious," I protested.

He just gave me a look and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not. There are tons of people more social than I am."

"I don't doubt that, but you're not exactly a wallflower, either. You're very headstrong and independent, but you need people around you all the time. You seem to enjoy it even more if there is some conflict there."

"Oh, okay. Now you're calling me a drama queen," I groaned.

"No. Just a teenager. More importantly, where some people hide from conflict, you face it head on. That can be good and bad."

"Aren't you off work right now? You're shrinkin' me," I teased.

"Occupational hazard," Uncle Joe shrugged. "Just making observations. Giving you something to think about."

"Yea, like I don't already have enough to think about."

"It gets even worse as you get older, kiddo."

Believe it or not, Adam's 'rents let him go. Mr. Walker even drove us to the Howard station so we didn't have to walk or bus it.

We got to Chris' place around 10:30 after stopping by a 7-11 for some pretzels and soda. The joint was jumpin'. Some girl who looked like she was in college let us in, handed us plastic cups, took our munchies and pushed us into the crowd. I didn't recognize anyone.

"Dude! Are you sure this is the right house? I don't recognize anyone," Adam yelled in my ear.

"I don't either. It's the right house. Let's try to find Chris," I yelled back. We squeezed through the crowd and somehow managed to not get beer dumped on us. That ended when some guy turned around and ran into me with his full cup of beer. Fortunately, I only got a little splashed on my jacket.

"Shit. Sorry, man," Brandon said as he raised his cup out of the way. "Hey, Jonny. Kickin' party, huh?"

"Hey, man. Who are all these people?"

"It's not Chris' party. It's his brother's. Officially, we're not here," Brandon smiled. "Hey, Adam."

"Hey, dude. Are we the only ones here?" Adam said.

"No. I saw Matt, Roger and Bill a few minutes ago. I think they were headed for the keg. That's where Chris is. Mike and Suzie were making out on the sofa. There're tons here."

"Where's the keg?" I asked.

"On the back porch," Brandon said and pointed the way. "Go fill your cups and then come dance. There are some hot college girls here."

"Great," I smiled.

"Oh, sorry. Or guys, I guess. At least one or two of them has to be gay, or will be willing when they get drunk enough, if you're into that."

"Not really interested in sex with a drunk straight guy. Thanks for the consideration, though," I smirked.

"Okay. Go get yourselves some beer," he smiled and made his way into the crowd.

Adam and I looked at each other and shrugged. It was gonna be a weird night. I led the way to the kitchen. Except for the line to the keg, it was less crowded and there were a bunch of guys playing cards at the kitchen table. We had plenty of time to watch them as we waited in the slow moving line.

"They're playing poker. They all suck," Adam whispered to me.

"You play?"

"Yea. Dad used to have a poker night with his friends back in San Diego."

"Why doesn't he try to get one together here?"

"I don't know. Maybe he doesn't know anyone who would play yet. Does Uncle Joe play?"

"I don't know. I don't know how to play."

"Really?"

"No one I know plays -- except you, apparently," I said.

"How about Blackjack?"

"Yea. Everyone knows how to play Blackjack. I know how to play Euchre."

"Euchre?"

"You've never heard of it?"

"No. Must be some Chicago thing."

"No. There're computer game versions of it. If it was just a regional thing it wouldn't have a computer game."

"Sorry, dude. Never heard of it."

After forever we finally got out to the keg. Chris was running it.

"Hey! You made it. Pretty great party, huh?" Chris smiled.

"Yea. I'll have to thank your brother," I smiled.

"You've already talked to Brandon, haven't you?"

"Yep."

"Don't believe him. He's full of shit. It was my party first. Kurt just took it over."

"'Cause I bought the beer, Shithead," a guy, who I assumed was Kurt, said and gave Chris a slap on the back of the head.

Chris countered by spraying him with beer.

"Shit, man. Don't waste it," Kurt complained.

"Then don't touch me with the hand you finger yourself with," Chris shot back.

"You just aren't right," Kurt sighed and then went back to the girls he was talking to.

"Go mingle. I'm stuck back here for now," Chris smiled and handed Adam back his cup, now full.

We headed back inside and Adam stopped at the poker table.

"Do you have room for one more?" Adam asked the dealer.

"If you've got money, we've got room," the guy said.

"What's the buy in?"

"Only five. Nickel ante."

"Okay," Adam said and pulled a five out of his pocket before sitting down and collecting his chips. They made quick introductions and then dealt.

I watched Adam clean house as I drank my beer. It was really cheap beer and tasted like crap. I found a soda to wash away the taste and then decided to go to the living room where all the music and dancing was. The bodies were packed in and it was kinda fun. A couple girls were dancing all bump and grind with me. It was still fun. They were way older than me so I knew I wouldn't have to worry about them wanting me. What 20+ year old woman would want to date a 16 year old guy? Exactly. I was safe, and had fun being all flirty and teasing.

"Come with me," Heather, one of the girls I'd been dancing with, said and pulled me up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I yelled.

She ignored me and continued up the stairs. We went into the first unlocked door. She pushed me in and then shut the door.

"Here," she smiled and pulled off her sweater.

Oh shit. "Um... I think you have the wrong guy. I'm gay," I stuttered as her bare breasts hung in front of me.

"You? No way. You're too cute to be gay. Have you ever been with a woman?" She said and walked up to me.

Double oh shit. "No."

"Then how do you know?"

"I just do. Have you ever been with a woman?"

"Yea. It was okay," she shrugged. "I like men better," she smiled and started rubbing me through my pants. I would have jumped back, but I was already backed against the door. Triple oh shit, I was starting to get hard. "For someone who claims to be gay, you sure don't feel like it."

"I'm sixteen. I get hard for no reason at all. I mean, I can be thinking about nothing at all and get hard. And on the train and...um...please stop," I almost groaned as she continued to rub me. Girl or not, it felt good.

"Sixteen, huh? Well tonight is your lucky night, Jimmy."

"It's Jonny," I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Jonny. You have a nice big dick for a sixteen year old. At sixteen I'll bet you can go all night -- over and over again. Let's make sure you last when you're fucking me," she said and I felt my pants fall to the floor.

She sank down to her knees, pulled down my boxers and had my dick in her mouth before I realized what was happening. Oh god.

"All nice and clean and boy fresh. This is gonna be fun for both of us," she said and went down on me again.

I lasted for at least an hour... Well, okay, I lasted for all of three minutes, and it felt damn good, too.

"I'm glad you liked that. Now it's my turn," she said and pulled at my shirt until I shrugged out of it and then pushed me onto the bed and pulled my pants off from around my feet. I was still coming back from the Land of O when she climbed onto my legs and started rolling a condom down my dick -- I was still hard. She was going really fast and before I could say or do anything she sank down on my erection. Oh god. That feels good too.

"Ah... This is what I've needed all night long," Heather moaned.

I looked at her bouncing on my dick with her head thrown back and her boobs flopping all over the place and started laughing. What the hell am I doing?

"Never thought you'd be doing this, huh?" She huffed as she bounced.

"Never. I have a friend who's straight. I'm sure he'd get into this more. I can go get him."

"You're doing just fine. I'm not done with you yet."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of a guy. Any guy. Gareth. Brandon. David Gallagher. It almost would have worked, but she didn't smell like a guy. I tried breathing through my mouth, but then she started kissing me. I pushed her away and she just laughed as she leaned over me.

"Don't worry, kid. I'm almost there."

How desperate do you have to be? I put my arm across my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at her and she couldn't kiss me. Back to David Gallagher in my mind. I'm fucking David Gallagher. God, is she ever gonna stop. I'm fucking David Gallagher. I'm fucking David Gallagher. Wait. She's stopped. I'll pulled back my arm and looked to see what she was up to now.

"I said, that's my bed you're fucking in. Go someplace else," I heard Chris yell.

"Chris! Thank god! Chris'll take over. Please," I said.

"Jonny?! You do realize she's a she, right?"

"Fuck this shit. Can't anyone get a decent fuck anymore," Heather said and climbed off me.

"Chris is straight. I'm sure he'd be happy to finish you up," I said as I quickly rolled off the other side of the bed and tried to find my clothes. Chris just stood there stupid.

"Never mind. Fuckin' kids," she snapped and stormed out of the room pulling on her sweater as she went.

"Nice babe, Chris," Brandon said as he walked in. "Jonny? Dude. You're naked."

"I know," I groaned and held my pants in front of me. "Where's the bathroom?" I asked Chris.

"Next door down," Brandon answered, but he seemed as dumbfounded.

I held my shirt behind me and ran to the bathroom to get rid of the condom and wash my dick off. I decided a quick shower would be better. Twenty minutes later I felt much cleaner and went back to Chris' room. It was quiet downstairs. Chris' door was open and all the guys who were staying the night were sitting there talking. They all looked at me as I walked in, and then started cheering.

"Stop. That wasn't funny," I protested.

"The gay guy is the only one of us who got a woman tonight. I think I'm gonna tell every girl I'm gay from now on," Brandon laughed.

"Hey. We don't just let anyone in. You'll have to audition for me," I smiled.

Cat calls all around.

"Go on, Brandon. Show him how gay you can be," Matt teased.

"If that woman didn't turn him straight, the sight of Brandon naked certainly would," Chris laughed.

"And the sight of you naked would turn him into a monk," Brandon countered.

"I'm willing to try," I smiled at Brandon.

"You already got some tonight. So what the hell happened? How'd you end up fucking some girl in Chris' bed?" Brandon said.

"I'm pissed off about that, by the way. What a shock to walk into my bedroom and find some girl in my bed riding my gay friend like a pony," Chris added.

"Like a horse, you mean," I smiled. "I didn't plan it. She practically raped me."

Everyone moaned and carried on like I was the luckiest guy in the world.

"Man, that is every straight guy's fantasy -- to have a hot woman throw you down and ravage you," Matt sighed. Everyone else agreed.

"She gave me a blow-job first," I shrugged. It was gross to go through, but kinda cool that the guys were acting like this.

"Oh. Even better. How was she? I mean, aside from being a girl instead of guy." Bill asked.

"I don't know. I came once. It would have been twice, but Chris interrupted. Thanks, Chris," I said.

"How'd you even get it up for her if you're gay?" Chris asked.

"Duh. 'Cause I'm a guy and I'm sixteen," I said.

"No way. You've gotta be bi or something. I know I could never get it up for a guy," Brandon protested.

"Bullshit," I countered.

"I'm serious."

"Who here believes him?" I asked and looked around. No one.

"Fuck you all. Maybe you all would be poppin' bones at the first sign of any attention from anything other than your hand, but I have a regular girlfriend," Brandon shot back.

"Prove it, then," Chris smiled.

"Yea, man. You think you're such hot shit. Prove that Jonny can't give you an erection," Matt taunted.

Okay. Don't say anything. Try not to seem too interested. Please, please. No. Don't seem too interested.

"I don't have to prove shit to any of you," Brandon snapped.

"Probably all boned up right now just thinking about it," Bill laughed.

"Okay, man. If I don't get a hard-on then you have to blow me," Brandon said.

"How's he gonna blow you if you can't get it up for him to blow?" Matt asked.

"I'll just have to think about Laurie while he's doing it."

"Okay. And if you do bone up you have to blow me," Bill continued.

"That would require you actually having a dick," Brandon smiled.

"You'll see just how much when you're choking on it."

"There're not going to be any blow-jobs in my room unless I'm getting one, and I don't want it to be from any of you. How about cash? I bet $10 that Brandon bones up," Chris said.

"Okay. I'll bet $10 that he does, too," Matt said and pulled out his wallet. Soon everyone else was pulling out their wallets, except Adam.

"You're on. When I don't get hard, I get this pile," Brandon said and threw his ten into the pile, bring it up to sixty dollars.

"And I get the pile if I do get him hard," I said.

"How do you figure that?" Chris asked.

"'Cause I'm the one who has to touch him and do all the work. Do you want to do it?" I countered, hoping he wouldn't.

"No. That's okay. If you get him hard the pile is yours. Get to work."

"I'm not going to do it with an audience," I said.

"Go use the bathroom."

"Wait. How will we know? Someone has to be a witness. The two people who are getting the pot could just decide to fake it and split the pot later," Matt said.

"I'm not gonna watch," Chris said.

"I'll judge," Bill said. "I'm not gonna watch. You just tell me when he's boned up and I'll be able to tell by the tent in his pants."

"You have money in the pot. I say Adam is the judge. He didn't put anything in," Matt said.

"Dudes. No way," Adam protested.

"He's got nothing to lose. It should be someone with a stake in it," Chris said.

"Like I said, I'll do it. Let's either do this or not. It's fuckin' 4AM," Bill said.

"Okay. Go do it. Five minutes. If it's gonna happen, it'll happen within five minutes," Chris said.

"This'll be the easiest $50 I've ever made," Brandon smiled and headed off to the bathroom.

"Or the hardest $60 I've ever made," I smiled and followed him.

Bill was right behind us. We went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Okay. I'm just gonna sit on the toilet and look the other way. Let me know when to check," Bill said.

"Sorry, man, but you got yourself into this. You're going down," I smiled.

"That's not part of the deal," Brandon joked.

"You know I have to touch you, right? I mean, you're okay with that?"

"Do your worst," Brandon shrugged. "I'm not worried."

I just smiled. We were facing each other. Oh my god. I was going to get to touch Brandon and was even expected to get him boned up. I reached over slid my hands up his chest. Oh, so nice. Brandon didn't react. I slid my hands back down and unbuttoned his pants. I'd love to take my time, but I don't have time, and fuckin' Bill is in here. I pushed his pants down and then quickly undid mine and pushed them down. I was already boned up. I took his hands and put one on my chest and the other one down my boxers.

"You're ready, huh?" Brandon joked.

"Yea. Hold on to that, will you," I smiled and did the same to him. He was still flaccid, but kinda chubbed. "Close your eyes," I said softly and tweaked his nipples with one hand while squeezing and rubbing his penis with the other. I gently pushed into his hand and he squeezed back -- probably just a natural reaction. He was starting to get hard and grow in my hand. He wasn't as long as me, but he was thicker. I totally forgot about telling Bill to look and just continued our little mutual hand-job. I was totally turned on and so close. Just a hand-job with Brandon is much better than fucking that girl. He smelled right. He felt right. I'd love to find out if he tastes right...

"You done yet?" Bill asked loudly, pulling me from my reverie.

Fuck. "Yea. He's boned," I sighed and pulled back, pulling Brandon's hands off me and pulling up my pants. Brandon's erection was quite visible in his tight boxer-briefs.

"Shit, man. For costing me $60 you could have at least finished the hand-job," Brandon tried to joke as he pulled up his pants.

"Maybe another time," I said.

"You are such a lying sack of shit. You probably just set this up to get a hand-job," Bill said to Brandon.

"Fuck you, Bill. I don't need to pay for it."

"He held out longer than I thought he would," I defended Brandon. I didn't want him to get weird around me after this.

"It was closing my eyes that did me in," Brandon groaned and turned to wash his hands. As much as I'd like to run home and jack-off with the hand that had just been jacking him off, I had to wash my hands, too. Not before pushing it in Bill's face, first, though.

"Fuck, man," Bill yelled and wiped his face with a wet towel.

"Just thought you should get something," I smiled as I washed my hands.

"Yea, like some disease," Bill protested.

"You should be happy, Bill. Touching a hand that touched my dick that has had more pussy than you've even dreamed about is as close as you'll ever get," Brandon smiled.

"You keep talking about this girl that you fuck all the time, but none of us have ever seen her. Every time we go out she conveniently happens to be out of town or can't come or some other lame excuse. We're all starting to think she doesn't really exist," Bill smiled.

"Think what you want. Doesn't change the truth," Brandon shrugged and headed back to Chris' room. Bill followed and then me.

"So?" Chris asked as we walked in.

"Give the money to Jonny," Brandon said and dropped back down into the beanbag chair he was in before.

"I'm irresistible," I joked and collected my money.

"This proves that a guy can and will fuck anything if he has to or is desperate enough," Chris declared.

"So I guess that kinda explains why you went out with Sarah Stahl, huh?" Matt teased.

"No, but it explains me doing your mom," Chris shot back.

The bullshit and banter continued for another half-hour or so until we were all about asleep. Chris threw everyone a blanket and we crashed on the floor space we claimed.

"Hey Shithead! Get up! We've gotta clean the house before Mom and Dad get home," Kurt yelled and then slammed the door open and closed until Chris sat up and told him to fuck off.

"Why are you all quiet?" I asked Adam as we rode the train home.

"Dude. You had sex with a girl and then got paid to give some guy you have the hots for a bone," Adam said.

"Yea. Weird night, huh?"

"Everything happens to you."

"She probably would have fucked you, but you were playing poker instead of dancing. I offered to go get you, but she wasn't listening to me."

"You would have done that?"

"Yea. I didn't want to fuck her. It just all happened really fast, and it's hard to pull away when someone is giving you a blow-job."

"I'll bet."

"And then she ripped off my clothes, threw me on the bed and jumped on me. I would have had to beat her up or something to stop her, and I'm not gonna hit a girl."

"Dude. Just stop. I'm so jealous."

"You mean envious."

"What's the difference?"

"Jealousy would be if I have something that you once had. Envy is when you want something I have but haven't ever had, yourself."

"Fine. I'm so envious. It's just not fair."

"I didn't try to do anything. It just happened."

"I know. That makes it even worse. Everyone is envious of you. It's gonna be all over school on Monday."

"Yea, I can't wait," I groaned. "Now I'll have girls hitting on me again. I'd almost stopped all of that."

"Oh, so horrible. I wish I had that problem."

"Then I'll pass them all over to you. You can have them."

"Yea, and then they'll turn and run."

"Why are you so down on yourself. You're a good looking guy. You're a good person. Any girl would be lucky."

"Then why haven't I ever had a real girlfriend?"

"Maybe you're secretly gay?" I teased. He gave me a nasty look. "Okay. Sorry. Um, I don't know. Maybe it's just 'cause you're so quiet around girls. You get all flustered. Just relax and be yourself."

"That's easy for you to say. You're just naturally outgoing. I have to work at it."

"You just walked up to me when you first moved in."

"So? I didn't know anyone. I didn't have anything to lose, and it still was hard to do."

"But you did it. You just need to be that way around girls."

"Dude. I know that. It doesn't change the fact that I get all tongue-tied and sweaty and feel like a jackass."

"Then it's now my personal mission to make you more gregarious," I smiled.

"Make me what?"

"Gregarious. It means you like to be in the company of others. Sociable. Outgoing. Talkative. All that kinda stuff."

"Yea, right. How do you intend to do that?"

"I don't know. Drag you out to do things. Ask you questions. Make you talk. We have ways of making you talk," I joked.

"God help me," Adam groaned.

"So how was the party?" Uncle Joe asked as I walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast -- well, lunch. He and Aunt Mary were still reading the Sunday Trib.

"Weird," I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"How's that?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try."

I looked at Aunt Mary. "It's kinda guy stuff."

"Please. I know more guy stuff than most guys," Aunt Mary laughed.

"Sorry, but I can't talk about it in front of you. How about I tell Jonah and then he can tell you?"

"Must be good stuff," Uncle Joe smiled.

"It was weird. That's all I'm gonna say about it right now. Well, no, I'm gonna say I didn't get to bed until 5AM and then Chris' brother woke us all up at nine to clean the house. I need to take a nap."

"You'll have to take it later. Remember that you're supposed to meet your mom in a half-hour."

"Yea. Great," I sighed. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

Mom and I went out for a late lunch and then she let me go home and go to bed. She wanted to know about the party. I gave her a VERY edited version. I had sex with a girl. I still can't believe that.

I called Jonah after my nap from the phone in Uncle Joe's office.

"Hey, kid. Miss me already?" Jonah teased.

"Yea, but not enough to call you, dorkus. You won't believe what happened to me last night."

"What?"

"My friend Chris had a party. Well, actually his brother had a party and Chris invited a bunch of people. It was mostly people in college," I started.

"So you got invited to a college party? That's it?"

"No. I had sex with a girl," I whispered.

"What? I didn't hear you. It sounded like you said you had sex with a girl," Jonah said.

"I did."

He was quiet for a few seconds. "How the hell did that happen? Are you bi now?"

"No, I'm not bi. She practically raped me," I exclaimed.

He laughed.

"It's not funny. She gave me a blow-job and then threw me on the bed and rode me like a horse."

He laughed even harder.

"Stop. It's not funny."

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to calm down. "Did you tell her you were gay?"

"Over and over again. I even offered to go get Adam for her. She wasn't even listening to me."

"So how was it?"

"I don't know. It felt okay. I mean, I don't really have anything to compare it to. It felt better than jacking off, but she was kinda gross. I started laughing when I saw her bouncing up and down on me and her boobs flopping all over the place."

"What'd she have to say about that?"

"She just thought I was deliriously happy about fucking her. Fortunately, Chris burst in and she left before she could make me cum a second time. All the guys were really envious. That was kinda cool, but I know they're gonna talk about it at school tomorrow and then I'll have girls hitting on me again."

"Did you use a condom?"

"Yea. She put it on me, herself. It was so weird, Jonah. It's like, one minute we were dancing, and then the next thing I know she's giving me a blow-job and as soon as I cum she pulls the rest of my clothes off, throws me down and uses me as her fuck-toy. It was so weird. I would have had to punch her to stop her, but I'm not going to hit a girl," I said.

"Only to you, kid. This would only happen to you," Jonah laughed. "Just a sec." He said and I heard him telling Michael what happened. Michael howled with laughter.

"Hey kid. You goin' straight on us?" Michael said.

"Not on purpose."

"So? How was it?"

"How do you think? Gross. Girls don't smell right. They don't feel right. There's more, though."

"What else? She make you eat her out?" Michael laughed.

"I would have punched her -- girl or not -- if she tried. You remember that guy you were teasing me about? Brandon?"

"The one who played Tony?"

"Yea."

"Yea. He join in?"

"I wish. No. When the guys were teasing me afterwards he was saying how I must be bi or something to get it up for her 'cause he could never get it up for a guy..."

"Yea, right."

"Yea. Everyone else said the same thing. They bet him that I could give him a bone, so we went to the bathroom and we felt each other up and he boned right away."

"Cool. You think you turned him?"

"No. I'm just really good," I smiled. "Bill was in the bathroom with us as a judge, so we didn't go all the way, but the hand-job we had going was better than with that girl."

"He was cool after that?"

"Yea. I think so. He didn't get all weird."

"Good. Be careful with straight guys. You don't want one of them to feel his masculinity is in question and beat the shit out of you."

"Yea, I know. It was a safe place to do it, though. He joked that for costing him $60 I could have at least finished the hand-job."

"Sixty bucks? Damn. That's pretty good for doing something you would have paid $60 to do."

"Yep. It was such as weird night. Adam was upset that it happened to me instead of him."

"Just the girl thing, right?"

"Yea. He's kind of a dorkus around girls. He gets all flustered. Instead of enjoying the party and dancing with everyone else he was playing poker with a bunch of guys in the kitchen."

"He's not going to meet a girl if he's always hangin' with the guys."

"I know. I'm gonna try to help him relax."

"You do anything with Pasha yet? You were going to call him when we left, right?"

"Yea. We went to the mall Friday."

"And..."

"It was fun. I still don't know if he's gay or not. I think so, but he hasn't said anything, so I don't know for sure."

"Just ask him outright," Michael said like it was easy.

"Yea, right. What if he freaks out or gets violent or something?"

"He knows you're gay and still wants to be around you. If he was likely to get violent he wouldn't even want to be around you. If you're worried about it, just ask him over the phone."

"I don't know. Maybe. So did you guys have anything weird happen to you this weekend? Is Scott back yet?"

"Nah. Nothing really weird. We got home. Went to bed. Got up. Made love for hours. Met one set of Scott's folks. Today has just been housework and lounging around. Nothing exciting," Michael said.

"You did it for hours?"

"Yep. Kinda just to see if we could. Don't try it unless you want to be totally wiped out for the rest of the day, and have ungodly amounts of will power."

"Why will power? I'm sixteen. I can do it over and over again. I mean, when I did it with that girl I didn't even go down."

"Will power because we only came once. That's what the challenge was."

"I could never go that long. God, didn't you get sore?"

"A little. Stretching it out that long means you have to explore every body part, not just that one."

"Cool. Tell me about it."

"No. I really don't want to listen to you pull your pud," Michael said.

"Then write it down and send me a copy."

"Nope."

"Oh well. How's Scott?"

"Just fine. You liked him, huh?" Michael teased.

"Well, yea. He's cute. He's smart. He's a nice guy."

"Okay. If he turns out to be gay I'll let you know."

"Doesn't matter as long as he's there and I'm here."

"Oh well, he's a little old for you, anyway."

"It's only two years. Jonah is one year older than you."

"I guess I'm just into older men, then," Michael chuckled. "Anyway, not to cut you off, but we're about to head out."

"Okay. Anything good?"

"Grocery shopping, and then dinner once we have something to actually make dinner with. I think food qualifies as good."

"You guys are so domestic," I teased.

"Envious much?" He teased back. "I already know the answer to that. Anyway, I gotta go. Stay away from straight girls. They're only after one thing."

"It's too late for that advice. Okay. Talk to you later."

"See ya, kid."

"Oh. Wait. Tell Jonah that he can tell Uncle Joe about the party if he asks. That way I don't have to tell him."

"Okay. Later," Michael said and then hung up.

*** [ Monday, Nov 26, 2001 ]

"Dude. You won't believe what happened in history," Adam said excitedly as he ran up to me at my locker.

I looked at him strangely. "Something exciting happened in history? With Mrs. Dobson? You're kidding."

"No, man. Karen Jacobs said she thought I was great in the show. She wants to go out with me sometime."

"Really? You got a date? Cool," I said and high-fived him.

"We don't have a date, yet. I need to ask her, officially, tomorrow and set a real date. Oh man, where should I take her?" Adam babbled as we headed downstairs on our way home.

"First date you should probably do a movie and a coffee house after."

"Yea, I know. Maybe we can double-date. Me and Karen. You and Pasha."

"That'd be great except Pasha hasn't told me he's gay or even hinted he wanted to be my boyfriend."

"He's just shy. He wants you."

"Maybe, but what if he's not gay and gets violent when I treat him like a date? He's gotta be able to say it and mean it. I don't want to be gay-bashed."

"Dude. You're being a drama-queen," Adam teased.

"I am not a drama-queen," I goofed back in my campiest voice and we laughed. We walked out the front door in time to see Billy Mascow shove some freshman to the ground.

"Stay out of my way, fuckin' faggot," I heard Billy say to the freshman as we got closer.

"Pick on someone your own size, Mascow," I said.

"Here to save your boyfriend?" He countered with a smirk.

"Real original. Now fuck off. Don't you have a puppy somewhere to kick?" I countered.

"Why, when I've got a bitch right here?" He menaced and got in my face.

I don't like fighting, but I do know how to hold my own. Growing up with Tommy, Joey and Jonah ensured that. Right now, though, I really wanted to punch him.

"Dude. Just chill out," Adam said to Billy.

"Fuck off, spic. This doesn't concern you."

That was it. I pushed him back and dropped my backpack so I could fight. "Okay, asshole. Come get your ass kicked by a faggot."

"Ass licked more likely," Billy laughed and charged at me. I should have figured he'd try some wrestling thing. Just as he was about to make contact, I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could. He still tackled me, but I easily got away and back up as he was lying there gasping for air and holding his stomach.

At that moment Mr. Shaw, the Vice Principal, stepped in.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Shaw demanded.

"He was attacking that kid, and then attacked me when I told him to stop," I defended.

"Yea, right. I was just minding my own business when you came up and sucker punched me," Billy countered, breathing kinda shallow.

"I highly doubt that, Mr. Mascow," Mr. Shaw said. "Anyone else have a version? You? What's your name?" He asked the freshman.

"Um, Eric. Eric Moore, sir. It happened like he said," Eric said and pointed to me.

"Mr. Walker, is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay. Mr. Mascow, go to my office. Now. Mr. Mathias, you stop by my office in the morning."

"You're just going to let him go free?" Billy complained.

"I think you should be worrying about yourself. Office. Now," Mr. Shaw said and ushered Billy back inside.

"God, he's an asshole," I sighed.

Adam burst out laughing. "Oh man, you got him so good."

"Yea," I smiled. "I may be a fag, but I'm not a pussy. You okay?" I asked Eric.

"Yea, man. I'm cool. Thanks for, you know, getting involved," Eric said.

"No prob.," I said as I grabbed my bag. "Let's go."

We continued our way to the train platform. Eric followed.

"So you're really gay?" Eric asked.

"Yea."

"And you just tell anyone? Everyone knows?"

"Except you," I smiled.

"So you, like, have a boyfriend and everything?"

Adam snickered and I gave him a look. Eric was cute, almost like a puppy dog yapping at me to play with him.

"Nope. I'm single. Why? You interested?" I teased.

"What?" Eric said and stopped.

"I'm just kidding," I smirked.

"I knew that," he tried to play off. "Hey. You were in 'West Side Story', weren't you?"

"Yep. So was Adam."

"Oh wow. Then you know my brother. He played Tony."

"Brandon is your brother?"

"Yep. He was really good, wasn't he? Are you, like, friends with him and stuff? I haven't seen you over before."

"We just met doing the musical. We've only hung out a few times."

"You don't look anything like your brother," Adam commented.

"He's adopted. My folks didn't think they could have a kid so they adopted. Then, oops, two years later there I was."

"You get along?"

"Yea. Why wouldn't we? We're brothers."

"Yea, but he doesn't ride the train home with you?" I asked.

"What? Oh shit. He's probably waiting for me. Thanks and everything. Later," Eric said and then ran back to school.

I looked at Adam and we both cracked up.

"Dude. You're his hero now," Adam laughed.

"Yea, but I'm not going to run around in tights -- no matter how much he worships me," I countered.

"What would your super-hero name be? Butt-man?!"

"Nah. I'm more of a leg man. How about Man-man!" I joked and stood in a Superman pose.

"Able to jump bones in a single blow?"

"Too fast. I like to take my time," I smiled.

"I'm sure Pasha will appreciate that."

"Maybe. I think I'm just gonna ask him if he's gay," I said and got on our train.

"If he's still in the closet do you think he'd tell you?"

"He'd better if he wants to be my boyfriend. How else am I supposed to know?"

"I guess. It's so much easier being straight. At least I don't have to worry about a girl getting all pissed off if I like her."

"I know. Straight guys have it so easy. You just have to worry if she likes you. I have to worry about if it's even possible for the guy to like me."

"It's still not easy. Girls are weird and play all those games with everything you do or say."

"Yea. And once you finally get to the sex part you have to worry about getting her pregnant. Gay guys don't have to worry about that," I smiled.

"But you've got AIDS to worry about."

"So do you. AIDS isn't a gay-only disease. Lots of straight people get it. I read that it's an epidemic or something in Africa 'cause people sleep around or go to prostitutes and never use condoms."

"Whatever. I'll always use a condom, anyway, so I'm not worried."

"Me, too. You know, I wonder if Brandon will want to thank me for helping his brother," I smiled.

"Not the way you hope he will."

"One night -- that's all I'm asking for," I smiled.

"One more night with your hand -- that's all your gonna get," Adam teased.

"You know, you're a lot more relaxed now than you were before we...you know?"

"You're whacked. I haven't changed."

"Yea you have. You haven't been getting all flustered and embarrassed when I make a gay comment, and you come back with something now."

"I'm not gay, dude. I don't know. Maybe I am more relaxed. I don't know. I don't really want to talk about it -- especially on the train."

"Okay."

"Anything interesting happen at school today?" Uncle Joe asked as we were eating dinner.

"Adam got a date. Well, a potential date."

"Good for him."

"I didn't know there were blind girls at your school?" Jay teased.

I ignored him. "Oh, and I kicked Billy Mascow's butt after school."

"The homophobe who's been harassing you?"

"And everyone else. He's a bigot, not just a homophobe. An equal opportunity hater. He was picking on this freshman, so I stepped in and stopped him. He attacked me and I kicked his butt. Mr. Shaw broke it up and took him away."

"You don't look any worse for wear. Are you going to be suspended for the next couple days?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I didn't start it. He attacked me."

"That usually doesn't make a difference."

"Yea, but it's Billy Mascow. He's a known troublemaker. If I get suspended, I get suspended. I don't think I will, though. I'm supposed to go into the office before school tomorrow."

*** [ Tues, Nov 27 ]

"Jonny! Mathias! Wait up!" I heard some guy yell. I looked around and saw Brandon approaching me.

"Hey, man," I said.

"Hey. I just wanted to thank you for what you did for my little brother yesterday," Brandon said.

"No prob. Billy Mascow is an asshole. He got suspended for a week."

"Yea, I heard. I also heard that he's totally pissed off at you and is planning on coming after you."

"I kicked his ass once. I can do it again."

"Man, you need to be careful. Just watch your back," Brandon warned.

"I'm the only one who will," I shrugged.

"Adam wouldn't?"

"Yea, I guess Adam would, too, but I don't know if he can fight or not. He's never had any big brothers."

"Yea, okay. Well, if it's on school grounds you can count on a bunch of other people. Me included."

"Okay. Thanks."

The warning bell rang.

"Shit. Gotta run. Later," Brandon said and ran off in one direction while I ran for my class in the other direction.

"So?" I asked Adam as we met up after school.

"So what?"

"Did you ask her?"

Adam kinda blushed and leaned in to me. "Yea. She said yes. We're going out Friday night," he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"'Cause I don't want it to seem like I'm bragging or talking shit about her."

"Just 'cause you have a date? I'd think you'd be dancing in the halls," I smiled.

"I almost did," Adam smiled and blushed.

"Totally unrelated, can you fight?"

"Huh?"

"Can you fight?"

"Kinda, I guess. If I have to. Why?"

"I guess that's a 'no'. Billy got suspended for a week. I heard he's pissed at me for it and told some people that he was going to get me."

"That's just messed up. He's a psycho. They should just kick him out completely."

"Yea, I agree. I don't know why they don't."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Kick his ass again if he tries anything."

"Yea, but what if he brings his friends or something?"

"The people he hangs out with here aren't psycho like him. I don't think they'd help him. Brandon also told me that he'd watch my back around school, and a couple other people. I'm not going to be afraid of him and play the frightened little faggot."

"You go, girl," Adam smirked.

"Dorkus," I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Look who's talking. So, anyway, are you going to ask Pasha?"

"You really want to double-date?"

"Yea. You talk more than I do. What if I can't think of something to talk about and she thinks I'm a dork? If you're there then I won't have to worry about it. You talk all the time," Adam smiled.

"She's been in class with you all semester. She already knows you're a dork," I shot back.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Pasha. It's Jonny. Can you talk?"

"Oh, hey. Yea, I can talk."

"Cool. What are you doing Friday night?"

"Um, I don't know. I don't have anything planned yet. Why?"

I took a deep breath and readied myself for him to freak out. "Do you want to go out for a movie and coffee with me? It's gonna be a double date with my friend Adam and this girl he likes."

"So I would be your date?"

"Yea."

"How do you know I'm even gay?"

"Wishful thinking?" I tried to joke.

"Where are we going? What movie?"

"Um, I don't know. Probably over near Northwestern. We'll probably decide on a movie once we get there. I know a great coffee house we'll probably go to afterwards."

"What time?"

"Probably around eight."

"Okay. I'll go with you."

"Really?"

"Yea," Pasha giggled.

"Okay. So. Cool. Um... Great. Um... Okay, I'll call you tomorrow and let you know where to meet us and time and stuff. Okay?"

"Yea. I can't wait," Pasha said, and I could hear he was smiling.

"Okay. I'll call you as soon as I know. See ya," I said and hung up, only to dial Adam right away.

"Walker residence," Amy answered.

"It's Jonny. Let me talk to Adam."

"He's not here," she said and hung up. God, she's a bitch.

I hit redial and Amy picked up again. "Where is he?" I asked right away.

"None of your business," she said and hung up on me again.

I redialed again. As soon as she answered I said, "Bitch," and then hung up.

*** [ Wednesday ]

"You need to convince your 'rents to send your sisters to a boarding school -- preferably in Siberia or something. Where were you last night?" I said to Adam as we met up to catch the train to school.

"I got my hair cut. What did the monster twins do now?"

"Just Amy being a bitch. I called to tell you how it went with Pasha and she was rude and kept hanging up on me."

"And you're surprised? So how'd it go with Pasha?"

"He said yes," I smiled. "He still didn't say if he was gay, but he did know it was a date and said yes, so...I guess that's the next best thing."

*** [ Thurs, Nov 29 ]

"Jonny! Tommy's on the phone for you!" Jay yelled as I walked in the door after school.

"Yea, Tommy," I said as I picked up the other extension.

"Can you come over to the house right now?" Tommy asked.

"Uh, yea, I guess. What's up?"

"Just get over here."

"Okay. I'll be over in a minute," I said and hung up. "I'm going over to my old house for a few minutes," I told Jay as I headed out the door. I crossed the alley and went in the back door. I just about shit a brick when I saw who was in the kitchen with Tommy.

"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" I said to Billy Mascow as menacing as I could. He was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table with Tommy standing over him. He looked like hell and had a black eye and a bruised lip.

"Go look at the front door," Tommy said, his arms folded and his voice pissed.

I went through the house a pulled open the front door. Spray painted across the door in red was "die fa". I felt sick, and then pissed. What is wrong with some people? I stormed back into the kitchen. "What the fuck is your problem?! Why do you have to be such an asshole? Can't you just leave me the fuck alone? I haven't done shit to you."

Billy didn't say anything.

"He asked you a question. I'd like to know, too," Tommy said smacked Billy on the back of the head. He hardly flinched.

"Just call the fuckin' cops if you're gonna, or let me go. I'm not gonna explain myself to a fag," Billy muttered.

"Then explain it to me, the fag's brother, and explain why you had that," Tommy said and pointed to a gun on the counter that I hadn't seen. The bullets were out of it and sitting in a glass beside it.

"I was just taking out the trash," Billy shrugged with a defiant look.

"You need some serious help. What are you trying to do? Get your 15 minutes of fame for killing someone? I can't believe you'd come after me with a gun. Are you that much of a pussy that you couldn't deal with whatever in a fair fight?" I snapped.

"I'm allowed to carry a gun. It's a free country."

"Then let me see your gun permit," Tommy said.

"Show me your badge and I'll show you my permit," Billy shot back.

"Call the cops, Jonny," Tommy told me.

Billy looked scared for a few seconds, and then steeled himself. I grabbed the phone and called the cops.

"They're on their way," I said after I hung up.

"So why is this piece of shit after you?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know. He sees it as his duty to be an asshole to everyone. He just got suspended because he was shoving this freshman around and I told him to stop. He attacked me then and I kicked his ass."

"You wish. You just got a lucky punch in. If Mr. Shaw hadn't shown up..."

"I still would have kicked your ass," I interrupted.

"Not even if your spic friend helped you," Billy said.

"Let me explain something to you. Okay? Are you listening?" Tommy said to Billy.

Billy just looked away like he wasn't.

"Pretend all you want. Doesn't matter to me. Jonny is my little brother. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. If he's a fag, then he's a fag. That makes his life hard enough without shit-heads like you. If anything bad happens to him, and I mean anything, I will personally hunt you down and see that you pay for it. Am I making myself clear?"

Billy just ignored him.

"I'll assume your silence means you do understand."

"How'd you catch him? Why are you home from work so early?" I asked Tommy.

"I got off early so I could move some stuff to my new place. I caught this piece of shit as he was painting the door. He never knew what hit him when I slammed him against the door," Tommy smiled.

"I can have you arrested for assault, you know," Billy tried.

"You can try, but I don't think you'll get very far with that. You're lucky I caught you and not my father. He probably would have killed you on the spot just for spray painting his door."

"Do you want to call your folks so they can meet you at the police station?" I asked.

"No," Billy said and actually looked scared.

"Who else beat you up? I didn't punch you in the face at all," I said.

"None of your fuckin' business."

"It was your dad, wasn't it? That's why you're afraid to call them. He beat you for getting suspended?"

"I said mind your own fuckin' business," Billy snapped and jumped up. "It's your fuckin' fault that I got suspended! All fags should die!" Tommy was on him a second later and he sat back down.

The doorbell rang and I jumped up to get it. It was the police and they had their weapons drawn. I explained who I was and what had happened as I lead them to the kitchen. They got Tommy's story and cuffed Billy and took him out. One cop stayed and took a full report, took pictures of the front door, and then left with Billy's gun.

"We'd better get that shit off the door before Dad gets home," Tommy said after they'd gone.

"The paint will never be dry by the time he gets home. He'll know it's been repainted, anyway," I said.

"I know. I've got some graffiti removal spray in the truck. We can get the shit off the door, at least," Tommy said and headed out to his truck.

Luckily or not, it was cold out so the paint hadn't dried on. We abandoned the graphiti spray and just got some paint thinner. It smeared it around a lot, but we eventually got all off. The door looked like the paint had been rubbed, but not horrible and you couldn't tell the red spray paint had ever been there. Tommy kept looking at me as we were cleaning it off.

"What?" I finally asked him as we were checking it over for any stray paint.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were getting harassed?"

"'Cause I'm not. Not really. Just by that asshole, and he's an asshole to everyone. Everyone else is cool. I never thought he'd come try to kill me. I mean, that's psycho movie stuff."

"No one else is messing with you?"

"No. I can take care of myself, anyway."

"Yea, right. Even if the other person has a gun?" Tommy snapped.

"No, but you couldn't do anything, either. I'm not going to be a frightened little faggot, and I don't need you to be my watchdog."

"I'm not being your watchdog, I'm being your brother. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I don't want to be attacked, either, but I'm not going to hide."

"You know, you and Dad are more alike that you want to admit. You're both stubborn jackasses."

"Yea, and like you aren't?" I countered.

"I'm just trying to watch out for you, bro. Okay?" Tommy sighed.

"Yea, I know, but your way of watching out for me is making sure no one gets close to me. If I need help, I'll ask. Otherwise the only thing you're doing is making things worse. Joey understands that. So do Jonah and Michael. Why can't you? I mean, we've been doing okay since I got back from New York. You haven't been harassing me or my friends. We can actually talk sometimes. Don't go back to the way you were."

"It just scares me, bro. Okay?" Tommy said with tears in his eyes and pulled me into a hug.

"Yea, okay. Let's go inside. My hands are so cold they're about to fall off -- and since I don't have a boyfriend yet, I need them," I smiled as I pulled back. Tommy gave me an odd look like he didn't quite get it, and then busted up laughing.

"Anything interesting happen at school today?" Uncle Joe asked, as usual, as we were eating dinner.

"No. Not at school," I said.

"Somewhere else?"

"I don't know. Do you consider Billy Mascow spray painting 'die fag' on Mom and Dad's door and planning to shoot me when I got home interesting?" I said a bit sarcastically.

Uncle Joe choked on his drink. "Excuse me?"

"Tommy caught him as he was painting the door. He had a gun. Billy, not Tommy."

"When did this happen?"

"This afternoon when I got home from school."

"Is that why Tommy called you over?" Jay asked.

"Yea."

"So what happened?"

"We called the police, they took him away, and then we cleaned off the door before Dad got home."

"You're awfully calm about this."

"I'm just tired now. I'm totally pissed that he'd even try something like that. I hope they lock him up and he becomes Bubba's bitch."

Uncle Joe laughed. "That's a little better. Just let it out."

"Dad..." Jay complained. "You're off work."

"Yea, really," I added.

He stuck his tongue out at both of us. "Do your folks know?"

"No. Tommy said he wasn't going to tell them. It'll just make Dad mad and make Mom worry. He's in jail where he should be. You'd probably have a field day shrinkin' him. I think his father beats him, or did after he got suspended. He was totally busted up and I didn't hit him in the face at all. He also got defensive when I mentioned it."

"Very perceptive. You think that's why he came after you?"

"I don't know. He's just an asshole. Instead of leaving people alone he has to mess with people and then gets pissed off at me 'cause he can't take the heat when it comes back on him. I mean, showing up where he thought I lived and planning on shooting me? That's just fucked up shit. What if I still lived there? Huh? Or what if Tommy hadn't come home early? I'd be dead and that fucker would be free. Or what if Mom came home and he shot her? Huh? Fuckin' piece of trash should be locked up forever." I was yelling at this point. God damned fucking asshole, and damn Uncle Joe for starting me talking about it. "I'm gonna go for a run," I said and pushed away from the table.

I ran upstairs and changed into something I could run in and then headed out. Adam was waiting for me when I passed his house. He joined me, but I didn't say anything to him or acknowledge him. I ran as fast as I could. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. The angrier I got the faster I ran. By the time I got to the lakefront I felt like I was gonna die. My legs hurt. My chest hurt. My ears were freezing and I couldn't stop crying, damn it. I dropped down into the cold, hard sand and let it out. The wind off the lake was freezing and blowing hard. It was just about dark.

A few minutes later Adam ran up and collapsed on the sand beside me.

"I'm gonna die," he groaned.

"Yea. Me too," I said softly.

"What happened? Uncle Joe called the house and told me to run with you and not lose you."

"Just shit. You know, everything happens to me," I said sarcastically.

"Your dad again?"

"No. Billy Mascow showed up at my old house, spray painted 'die fag' on the door and had a gun, planning to shoot me," I deadpanned.

"No shit?" Adam said with shock.

"Nope. Tommy caught him while he was still spraying the door. His ass is in jail. Hopefully forever."

"When did this happen?"

"When we got home from school."

"Dude. Why didn't you call me? I would have come over."

"What's the point?"

"Um...I don't know. Just to be there or something."

"You couldn't do anything. The cops took him away."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Be really pissed off for a while and then live my life. I told you before, I'm not going to play the frightened little faggot. I'm also gonna testify against that asshole and make sure he ends up as Bubba's bitch," I said.

Adam busted up laughing, and it make me laugh a little. He eventually settled down and we sat there looking out at the lake for a few minutes.

"Hey, Adam?" I said softly.

"Yea?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Just... I don't know. Just thanks."

"Okay."

"Do you have any money on you?"

"About $5. Why?"

"Let's go get something hot at Wilder. I'm freezing my ass off."

"Good idea. Me, too."

I stiffly got up and stretched a little before we hobbled off to Wilder CafŽ. There was some new guy working the counter -- which was really weird because I've never been here when Dave wasn't here.

"Hi, guys. What can I get you?" The guy asked. He was a little older than us -- probably around Jonah's age.

"Hey. Can we get two triple mocha coffees?" I asked. Adam always got the same thing, so I didn't bother asking him.

"Sure thing," the guy said and turned around to make our drinks.

"Where's Dave?" I asked.

"Taking the night off."

"Is he sick? He's never off."

"I know. Bill's forcing him. He's getting too old to be here all the time. I'm Andy. Dave's my uncle."

"So are you going to be working nights from now on, or is this just a one time thing?" I asked.

"I'm on nights during the week. Let me guess. You're a regular." Andy smiled as he handed over our cups.

"Pretty much. I'm Jonny."

"Nice to meet you, Jonny," Andy said and shook my hand over the counter. "Who's your silent friend?"

"I'm Adam. Hey," Adam finally spoke up and shook Andy's hand before paying for our drinks.

I walked in the door just before nine. Uncle Joe and Aunt Mary were sitting in the living room with Mom, Tommy, Joey, Jay and Dad. Great. Mom ran up to me right away and hugged me so tight I though she was going to break something.

"I'm fine, Mom," I said softly as she cried and held onto me.

"I had to tell them," Tommy said. "The guy's father showed up at the house. He's a lawyer and threatened to sue us for a bunch of bullshit."

"You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You had to hit on some kid who's father is a lawyer," Dad snapped.

I pulled away from Mom and walked over to him. "I bet you wish Tommy hadn't caught him. Don't you? You know, I used to think that I was the problem with you. That I'd done something wrong. Now I see you for the cowardly piece of shit you are. You aren't worried about me. You're afraid of being sued. You're afraid that the guys on your crew will make fun of you for having a fag for a son. You're afraid to take a stand on anything that might make you look like less of a man. But let me tell you, a real man is something you'll never be. A real man wouldn't do the shit you do. And I don't know where you got that story about me hitting on Billy, but it's bullshit. I have never hit on him, unless you count punching him when he attacked me, and I don't give a fuck if you believe that or not. You aren't worth it. You hear me? You aren't worth shit. Get out of my sight. Let me know when he's gone," I said amazingly evenly and then went to the kitchen. That felt good and he just sat there and took it. He was probably just surprised that I said those things to him. I sat down at the table and waiting for the first person to come get me. I was surprised as hell that it was Dad.

"Didn't I make myself clear? I don't want to see you," I said.

He just stared at me for a minute.

"What?"

"Despite what you think, I don't wish that Tommy hadn't caught him. Just because I have a problem with your lifestyle doesn't mean I want to see you dead," Dad said softly and then turned and left.

Why does he have to do shit like that? It would be so much easier if he just stayed a total asshole. This "I hate you and wish you were never born, but I don't want to see you dead" crap is frustrating.

"Cooled down a little?" Tommy asked carefully as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yea, sure. Is he gone?"

"Yea. He went home."

"Okay. Let's get this over with," I said and went back into the living room. "So here's what's gonna happen. Tommy and I will go down to the police station tomorrow and do whatever paperwork to file charges. That's all there is. I'm not being harassed by anyone else. I'm not gonna hide. I'm not gonna let Billy or his father frighten me into the closet," I declared.

"Good. Then we're in agreement," Uncle Joe said.

"Really?" I said, surprised. I expected them to protest about something.

"He's a danger, honey. We can't just let this drop," Mom said.

"Oh. Okay. Good. Then I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed. I'm exhausted." I gave Mom a hug goodnight and then went upstairs. I took a long hot shower and then went to my room. Jay was waiting up for me.

"That was way cool what you said to your dad," Jay said.

"It's the truth."

"Mom and Dad were talking about it after everyone left."

"What'd they say?"

"Just that they couldn't believe you said it, but it was good that you did. Dad was actually laughing about the look on your dad's face."

"Yea, okay," I said sleepily and climbed into bed.

"I've never known anyone who was almost killed before," Jay said.

"It wasn't that close."

"So? He was going to. It's gotta mean something that you weren't shot. You know, like, you are destined for something. Like in the movies when someone tries to kill the hero before the hero knows he's the hero, but gets stopped."

"You watch too many movies. This is real life."

"It still could be true. I think it's cool."

"Yea, whatever. Night," I mumbled and was out. I don't think I've ever been so thoroughly exhausted in my life.

*** [ Friday, Nov 30 ]

Mom and Tommy picked me up and we were at the police station by nine to file charges. We had to give the whole story again and were questioned. It was boring and I so wanted it to be over and done. I think the cop we got was gay. He wasn't overtly gay or anything. I just got the feeling from the way he asked the questions. I got a little pissed when the cop asked if I'd ever hit on Billy. Apparently Billy's dad was trying to make it look like a gay panic defense. What bullshit.

I got back to school just in time for lunch and Mom came in to excuse my absence to the office. I said good-bye and then went to dump stuff off in my locker before going to lunch. As soon as I walked into the lunch room, everyone at the table I usually sat at looked at me. I looked down to make sure I had pants on and my fly was up. Adam buried his face and I knew what was up. He'd told them. I should have told him to keep quiet about it. I shot him a nasty look and went to get my food.

"Hey, man. We heard what happened? Are you okay?" Matt asked me as I got to the table.

"Thanks for not saying anything," I said to Adam. I hope he got that I was a little pissed.

"Sorry. You never said to keep it secret. People asked me where you were," Adam said.

"So?" Matt prodded and everyone else leaned forward.

"I'm fine. He's in jail."

"Why'd he do it?" Michelle asked.

"'Cause he's a psycho...?" I offered. "He's trying to tell the police that it was gay panic -- that I'd hit on him and he was so distraught that he didn't know what he was doing," I added, sarcastically.

"Serious?" Adam asked.

"That's what they said."

"No one would believe that," Matt said.

"I would hope not. I wouldn't touch him with your dick," I smiled.

"Ew. You didn't need to go there," Matt grimaced while everyone else laughed.

"Unless he gets a real homophobe for a judge I don't think that defense will hold up," I said.

"I'll be a character witness, if you need one," Bill said.

"Me, too," a couple people said.

"Thanks. I mean it. Don't you think this is just too fucked up? Like, it should be an after school movie or something? I was so pissed off yesterday."

"So what really happened. Adam said he showed up at your house and tried to shoot you," Matt said.

"Drama queen," I said to Adam and rolled my eyes.

"What?! That's what you said," Adam protested.

"Not exactly. He spray painted 'die fag' on my parent's door and had a gun with him. My brother caught him as he was painting the door. The only one who was close to getting shot was Tommy when he wrestled with Billy and Billy tried to pull it out. It was still in his pocket so he probably would have shot himself if he'd gotten a good hold of it before Tommy took it away from him," I explained.

"You know his dad is a lawyer, right?" Bill said.

"Yea. He showed up at my parent's house last night and threatened to sue us for something."

"Have you ever seen his commercials?"

"Whose?"

"Billy's dad. He's an ambulance chaser. You know. 'Injured? Call me and I can get you the money you deserve.'"

"Good. I hope he defends him. Maybe he has a bad rep. The cop didn't seem to like him. Now I understand."

"The cop just told you that?"

"No. He just had a kinda disdain in his voice when he was explaining what they said happened and what my take on it was."

"Aren't they supposed to wait until the trial to do that?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I'm not a lawyer," I said as the bell for afternoon classes went off.

"Excited about tonight?" I asked Adam as we headed for the train after school.

"And nervous as hell," Adam grimaced.

"Yea, me too," I agreed.

"You? What do you have to be nervous about? You already know Pasha likes you and you've gone out with him before. This is my first date with Karen. The first time being around her while not in school."

"So? It wasn't a date before. This is a date. My first date with a guy. You already know that Karen likes you, anyway. She basically asked you out."

"No she didn't. I asked her."

"Yea, but not until after she asked you to ask her."

"Doesn't matter. I asked her. She just liked me from seeing me on stage. I don't know if she likes me off stage yet."

"You've been in class together for the whole semester."

"I know, but you can't talk much in class, and she has a different lunch period. We haven't done anything outside of class. You have with Pasha."

"Fine. So we're both nervous. It's stupid to argue about it," I declared.

"Um, I'm sorry about telling everyone about what happened with Billy. I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret."

"It's not a secret. I just didn't want people asking me about it or making a big deal about it. I just want to forget it and move on. They would have found out, eventually, I guess."

"So you're not pissed?"

"I was. I'm over it."

Pasha drove Adam and me home after Karen's mom picked her up. Adam didn't say anything the whole way and just pouted in the back seat with his arms crossed. I don't know what his problem was. I thought everything went pretty good. We pulled up to Uncle Joe's house and parked.

"Thanks for driving us home, and thanks for going out tonight. I hope you had fun," I said to Pasha.

"You're welcome. Thanks for, you know, inviting me. I did have fun," Pasha smiled and we kinda looked at each other.

I really wanted to kiss him.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you good-night?" I asked.

"Yea," Pasha giggled. "You don't have to ask."

I smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

"Yea, thanks for the ride. Can you let me out now?" Adam said loudly and pushed at my seat.

I shot him a nasty look for breaking the mood. "Hold that thought," I said to Pasha and got out to let Adam out. He pushed past me and stormed home. I'm gonna have to check on him...later. I climbed back in.

"Is he mad about something?" Pasha asked me.

"Apparently. I don't know what about. Now where were we," I smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. He met me half-way and our lips gently touched, parted, and then touched again. We both smiled and pulled back.

"That was nice," Pasha said softly.

"It was great," I agreed. "Do you want to get together tomorrow sometime?"

"Yea, that'd be...um...no. Sorry. I can't. I...um...I've got stuff I have to do."

"Um, okay. Will you call me and let me know when you can do something?"

"We can go out again next Friday."

"That sounds good. No time before that, though?"

"Um...I don't think so. I can't do anything on school nights."

"Okay. Next Friday. Same time?"

"Yea. Want me to pick you up?"

"Yea. That'd be cool."

"Okay."

"Okay."

I didn't want the evening to end and Pasha didn't seem to want me to leave either. I leaned over to kiss him again. This time when he kissed I felt his tongue on my lips, so I opened my mouth and did the same. We kept kissing and got as close as we could and totally made out. I was totally boned up and I hope he was, too. We were still going at it when there was a loud slam on the roof of the car. We jumped apart and tried to look out the fogged up windows. There stood Joey, pointing at his watch.

"It's just Joey. I must be late," I said to Pasha.

"He scared the crap out of me," Pasha laughed.

"Me, too. Um, so... See you Friday?"

"Yea. See ya," Pasha smiled and leaned in for another kiss. It started out chaste, but then went french. Joey banged on the car again.

"Alright, already!" I yelled. "Okay. I gotta go. Later," I said and quickly got out.

"Having fun?" Joey asked as he stood there with his arms crossed and a smirk across his face.

"I was until you decided to interrupt," I smiled stupidly and gave him a shove.

"Making out in a car in front of the house. Ah, to be sixteen again," Joey sighed teasingly.

"I'd prefer doing it in my bedroom."

"Not much chance of that happening."

"Not since I share a room with Jay."

"So? How'd it go?" Joey asked me as we walked inside.

"As far as I'm concerned, it went great. Adam was pissed about something, but I have no idea what."

"You'll have to find out tomorrow."

"Yea, I know. I'm gonna go to bed. Night."

*** [ Saturday ]

I headed over to Adam's after breakfast to see what his problem was. His dad answered the door.

"Hello, Jonny. Good timing. Do you know what's going on?" Mr. Walker asked.

"No clue. That's what I was hoping to find out."

"Good luck. He's pouting in his room."

I ran up to Adam's room and knocked on the door.

"What?!" Adam yelled.

"It's me."

The door swung open. "What do you want?" He demanded.

"To see what's bugging you. What happened? I thought it went good last night."

"Of course you thought it went good. It did go good for you," Adam yelled and then yanked me into his room and shut the door so the whole house wouldn't hear him rant. "You had Pasha. Why did you have to flirt with Karen? She liked you better than she liked me. I felt like a third wheel or something. You don't even like girls -- at least that's what you say. I thought you were my friend. Why did you do that to me?" Adam hissed in a loud whisper and obviously very upset.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What did I do to you?"

"You just had to be the center of attention all night. It was you and Pasha and Karen all talking away and leaving me out of everything."

"We didn't leave you out of anything. Just because you wouldn't say anything doesn't mean we were leaving you out. I can't force you to talk. You had tons of chances. You also said you wanted me to carry the conversation so you wouldn't have to. Why are you getting all pissed off about it now?"

"Because she likes you now."

"Well too bad for her. I don't do girls."

"Except when you're, supposedly, almost raped by them," he snapped sarcastically.

"Hey. Fuck you. Don't blame me because you're too uptight. I was out dancing with the girls, so I got dragged up there. You were playing poker with the guys. It's your own damn fault that nothing ever happens to you. You never do anything. You just wait for someone else to do it and then try to leach on. And then you complain that it's their fault when you don't get what they got. Fuckin' grow up, Adam."

I must have really pissed him off because the fucker decked me. I totally wasn't expecting that and he caught me on the chin. He punched like a girl, but it still hurt, and I know it hurt his hand. I reeled from the punch and then got him in the stomach. That's the best place to punch if the other guy isn't ready for it. If you knock the wind out of him, you're a step ahead. I got him good and he dropped to his knees. I pushed him down on his stomach, sat on his back and twisted his arm behind him.

"Get off me!" Adam yelled.

"Fuck you. Why'd you hit me?"

"You deserved it."

"Then you deserve this," I said and pulled his arm up so that it hurt.

"Stop. Stop. Okay," Adam begged.

"You don't want to pick a fist fight with me, man. You're just asking to get hurt," I said and jumped up, letting him go.

"Just go away," Adam muttered and tried to hide the tears in his eyes. I don't know if they were tears from the fight or tears of humiliation or what.

"Why? So you can sit here and pout and blame me for made up things? We're supposed to be friends," I said and checked my jaw in the mirror. It was red and starting to swell a little.

Adam sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. "It's just not fair," he almost cried.

"What is?"

"Everything is so easy for you."

"Have you suffered brain damage recently? Any sudden blows to the head? Holding your breath too long?"

He chuckled in spite of himself. "See? It's just easy for you to talk."

"Just 'cause I talk a lot. You get way too down on yourself. All you need to do is relax. When it's just us you're cool and never at a loss for words. As soon as there's someone else around you get quiet. I don't know if you're that way around other people or not."

"Yea. Kinda. I'm better with one on one."

"So get better with more people. You let too much happen to you instead of making things happen. Just do it or say it or whatever. If anything, it's better to be hated for something you did than for something you didn't do."

"How's that?"

"Well, because you have the experience of having done it. I mean, would you want to be punished for something you didn't do?"

"Yea. Okay. I got it."

"Do you keep a journal?" I asked.

"A diary? No."

"No, not a diary. A journal. A diary is for little girls. A journal is for anyone. Maybe you should keep one."

"Do you?"

"Yea. I have for years. I write everything in it. It helps sometimes to write it down. It's like, you have to think through what happened to write it down, so you understand it better. It doesn't always work that way, but if you go back and read some stuff after you've written it... I mean, sometimes I go back and read what I've written and I'm, like, 'what a dorkus loser'."

"So you say all your stupid stuff in your journal."

"Depends on who you talk to," I smiled.

"You should put some ice on that. Sorry about decking you."

"That's okay. You hit like a girl," I teased.

"Fuck you. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"What if you ever have to fight for love, huh?"

He just gave me a look and rolled his eyes.

"I've been thinking about taking Karate. You should, too," I said.

"Why? So you can kick my ass regularly?"

"If it needs to be kicked," I smiled.

"You just want to get to my ass," Adam smirked.

"It's a nice ass," I shrugged, "but don't flatter yourself."

"Whatever. So where are you going to take Karate classes?"

"I don't know. It'll depend on how much they cost. Maybe at the Y. There might be some city youth group type classes, too."

"What about soccer? Try-outs are tomorrow."

"I'm still gonna play. I don't know. I only really started thinking about taking Karate since Billy started getting more violent. Not that I think he'll be a problem anymore, but I'd like to be able to defend myself against someone much bigger if I have to."

"So you're gonna start working out and trying to look like a football player?" Adam teased.

"Not. I don't like that look. Too many muscles and too much work. I'd rather look normal, but be a lethal weapon. Like Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. They don't look any different, but can kick the ass of anyone."

"I can kick Bruce Lee's ass," Adam boasted.

"No you couldn't. You can't even take me on."

"Dude. He's dead. He can't hit back," Adam smirked.

"Okay. You got me there. When he was alive you couldn't."

"Of course not. I wasn't even born yet. You really should put some ice on that. Let me run down and get some," Adam said and ran downstairs. He reappeared a few minutes later with a cold compress for me and one for his hand.

"Thanks," I said and held it against my chin. "So what did Karen say that makes you think she likes me?"

"She didn't say anything. She just talked to you more than she did to me. She was always looking at you instead of at me."

"She was talking to me and looking at me 'cause I was the one who was talking. You're making something out of nothing. She knows I'm gay. She chose to go out with you. Even if she decides she doesn't want to go out with you again, it doesn't mean that I'm gonna date her."

"Yea, okay. What about Pasha?"

"What? Was he ignoring you, too?"

"No, dorkus. How'd it go with him?"

"Good. We have another date next Friday."

"Cool. You're on your own next time."

"That's fine. We made out in his car," I smiled.

"You had sex in his car in front of your house?"

"Made out, dorkus. Kissing. You know, like you and Sarah Stahl did at the cast party. No sex."

"Making out with Sarah was easy. She didn't care about anything except making out. I felt like a dork around Karen."

"Well, you shouldn't. Yea, you're a geek, but if you haven't noticed, everyone we go to school with is a geek. That's the whole point of that school. You're on even ground there. Sarah was easy 'cause Sarah is easy."

"Yea, I know."

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