Hi everyone. I'm so incredibly sorry that this has taken so long, but on top of the most terrible case of writer's block I have ever had, my life has been quite stressful and very hectic. I profusely apologize for the wait and I plan to have Justin's Secrets updated on an extremely more regular basis.
Disclaimer: This story in no way is meant to portray the lives of *NSYNC or anyone else mentioned herein. I do not claim to know *NSYNC or anything about their sexual preferences. If you are offended by this type of material, please leave now. If you are too young to be reading this type of material, you can also leave. . . or don't get caught. Send questions, comments, criticism and complaints to DivaKitT@juno.com.
Thank you and Please enjoy.
"Please don't be angry . . . with yourself or me. I just want you to be more aware of how you influence him," Angelique cautioned. She gave a small smile which, in turn, made JC smile slightly.
"I'll be careful with him . . . I promise," JC replied.
Angelique smiled and gave JC a reassuring hug. She then turned and walked out of the room leaving JC alone with the sleeping toddler.
He sighed.
He really did care about Justin and he honestly wasn't' sure why he had reacted the way he did. He hadn't realized it at the time, but he know knew how much his opinions mattered to Justin.
'I should have known,' JC thought to himself.
JC turned back to face the sleeping toddler. He looked so much like his dad. He had the same golden curls decorating his head and the same, perfect, cheesy, little smile with those cute pouty lips. His eyes were a combination of his parents, somewhere between the color of the sky on a really hot day and the color of a sapphire. JC ran a hand gently over Josh's velvety soft curls. He could tell Josh was going to gorgeous once he grew up.
"Just like your dad," he murmured thoughtlessly.
JC pulled his hand away and gave the child one last glance before turning and walking out of the room. He closed the door most of the way behind him, leaving if open just a crack in case the little boy woke up.
JC turned and walked towards the stairs passing the hall table just as the phone rang. He paused momentarily to turn on the speaker phone.
"Hello, Harless residence."
"Hey JC, it's Brit," her cheery voice came through the line.
"Oh, hey Brit. What's up?" JC asked switching to the portable phone and turning off the speaker. He began walking slowly down the hallway, dragging his feet across the plush, expensive carpet.
"Well, I just wanted to see if all y'all were over there. I was gonna stop by," she informed him.
"Yeah, we're all here. Angelique's here too. Oh wait, you probably don't know about---"
"Angel's there?!" Britney squealed cutting him off.
JC pulled the phone away from his ear momentarily.
"How do you know about Angelique?" JC asked plodding slowly down the stairs.
"I went to Paris with Justin last year, remember?" she giggled. "Anyhow, I'm here. So, why don't you come answer the door?"
JC walked past the living room still holding the phone at his ear.
"Yo, JC. Who's on the phone?" Justin hollered.
"It's Britty," JC replied, hanging up the phone as he unlocked the door for Britney.
"Oh, let me talk to her!" Justin demanded, still yelling from the living room.
"Hang on a sec," JC laughed letting Britney in the house.
"Hey you," he said giving her a quick hug. "Justin wants to see you." She gave a quick smile in reply and skipped off towards the living room, JC following close behind.
"Hey, Brit!" Justin gushed as she walked into the living room. "Where'd you come from? I thought Josh was talking to you on the phone," Justin said sounding confused.
"I was," JC laughed from the doorway, "She was just announcing herself."
Justin smiled and gave her a quick hug. Glancing over his shoulder, Britney spotted Angelique grinning at her.
"Ah! Angel!" she squealed letting to of Justin and rushing over to embrace her friend. "I haven't seen you for so long! I've missed you so much!" she declared.
Angel giggled returning the hug with just as much force.
The guys (excluding Justin) stared at the girls oddly for a moment, not sure what to say or do.
"So, you already know about Angel and Josh?" Lance finally spoke up.
Britney pulled back and looked at Angel brightly.
"Joshy's here too?!" she squealed basically ignoring Lance's observation.
Angelique nodded, but put her finger to her lips.
"Shh, he's sleeping. I'm actually surprised that he didn't fall asleep sooner," Angelique said smiling. "He's still on our time."
The girls smiled at each other one more time before turning to face the others.
"So, Britney," Chris piped up, continuing after he had her attention, " you're not upset that Angel has . . . um, stolen Justin's affections?"
The girls looked at each other barely able to contain their laughter and shook their heads vigorously.
"How many times do I have to tell you boneheads? I'm not dating either one of them. They're not my type," Justin said blushing lightly.
"Yeah, that's cause his type doesn't have breasts," Britney snickered only loud enough for Angel and Justin to hear.
"Girl!" Justin shouted slapping her quickly on the ass. He glanced quickly around the room to make sure on one had heard. He took an extra glance at JC to make sure he hadn't overheard.
"Ouch! Justin, that hurt!" Britney squealed. She reached over and slapped him on the arm in retaliation.
"Yeah, but you deserved it," Justin glared. Britney glared back, sticking her tongue out at him.
"You're too serious, Justin," JC laughed stepping over and putting his arm around Justin's shoulders.
Lance watched as Justin tensed up for a split second, getting all flushed before relaxing into JC's embrace, wrapping an arm comfortably and casually, around his friend's waist. It happened so quickly that if he hadn't been watching, he would have missed it. It made him curious . . . and then, he had a thought.
"Well, what is your type then, Just?" Lance asked his eyes never leaving Justin, watching for any and all peculiar body language.
Justin furrowed his brow and bit his lip, obviously thinking. He glanced over at the girls, then closed his eyes in thought.
"Someone fun," he began. "Someone playful . . . and optimistic . . . and athletic. Someone who could play ball with me and then immediately sit down and talk with me for hours. Someone who I could flirt with and tease without having to worry if they thought I was serious." Justin shoved his left hand into his pocket and leaned a little closer in to JC's body. A smile toyed at the corners of his mouth as he unconsciously described his best friend. His fingers lightly and thoughtlessly caressed JC's waist as he thought.
"What about looks, Justin?" Joey shallowly inquired. "I mean, come on, that's definitely important. I like fine girls."
"Few, Joey, what are you talking about? You date ugly girls! Other than that Samantha girl you're dating now, you've always dated ugly girls," Chris laughed. Everyone else laughed along at Joey's expense as he simply blushed and looked down at his hands.
"No, come on, Justin, really. What kind of girls are you attracted too?" Joey pressed.
Justin thought for a second then broke out into a smile.
"Tall, slender, gorgeous, and sexy as all else," he stated simply.
"Easy to please," JC said laughing sarcastically. Justin turned and grinned widely at him, flashing his perfect smile.
"If you're the right person," he said catching JC's eye casually.
Through the whole interaction, Lance watched Justin's every move and gesture, looking for any and all signs which would confirm his theory. By this time, a wide, knowing smile had spread across his face. He almost wanted to laugh. Why hadn't he noticed this before?
"Anyways," Britney laughed," what is everyone doing tonight?"
Everyone looked around at everyone else basically shrugging their shoulders.
"Why don't we go to Disney?" Justin suggested. "Angel hasn't been there for years."
There were general sounds of approval from everyone as they all talked about how fun that would be, and how long it's been since they'd been, and all the things Angel had to see.
"Well, why doesn't everyone go home and get ready, and then we'll meet back here at 5:30. How's that sound?" JC said taking charge.
"Sounds good to me," Britney said digging her keys out of her pocket. "I'm going to get going, then. I'll see you guys in a little bit."
"Me too," said Lance standing up and stretching his arms above his head. "I'll walk you out, Brit."
"Hey, Lansten, could you give me a ride to my place?" Joey asked standing up as well.
"Actually . . . no. I can't, but maybe Britty could," Lance replied looking questioningly over at Britney.
"Sure I could, Joe. We can bond. We don't spend enough time together anyways," she smiled throwing her arm around his shoulders. Joey threw an arm around her slim waist and spun her around a few times quickly, laughing as she squealed. The three walked towards the door with Lance in the lead. "Later y'all," he said speaking for the group.
Justin detached himself from JC and turned to Angelique.
"My mom can watch Josh, if that is okay with you. I'd just as soon leave him here. There's clubs down there and stuff that we'll probably get to later in the night where we can't take him," Justin explained.
"D'accord," Angelique beamed. "I'm going to go and get ready."
"Sure thing. See ya in a little while, Angel," Justin smiled. Angelique walked past him towards the door and the stairs. Justin turned around and found JC still standing behind him.
"What's up, JC?" he asked nonchalantly, sticking his hands into his back pockets casually.
JC took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.
"I just wanted to . . . apologize," JC said softly.
"For what, Josh?" Justin inquired quietly.
"For acting the way I did this afternoon. I made a complete ass of myself. I should never have said the things I said, and God, Curly, I am so sorry for saying those things. I can't believe I was so mean! I didn't--"
"It's okay, Josh," Justin interrupted.
"But it's not," JC retorted. "You're my best friend, and I love you, and I didn't prove it today by acting that way. I think Angelique and Joshua are wonderful, and I think you're blessed to have a family like them," JC paused and smiled tenderly. "Josh is beautiful."
Justin blushed and smiled proudly.
"Thanks, Josh," he whispered. He reached out and pulled his best friend into a hug, wrapping his arms around JC's waist. In turn, JC threw his arms around Justin's shoulders, rubbing his back lovingly. Justin savored JC's touch and in his opinion, the embrace was far too short.
"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that, but I'm gonna go and get ready now," JC said with a smile.
"Alright. See ya in a few," Justin sighed.
JC turned and ran up the stairs, Justin following behind a slower pace.
Lance drove home and changed quickly. He grabbed a sweatshirt and was back out the door. He was on a mission, and he needed all the time he could get.
Lance arrived back at Justin's house with almost an hour to spare. The trip home and back had only taken him about a half an hour. He walked up to the door and walked in casually. He headed towards the living room figuring that would be a good place to start. He found Angelique sitting on the couch, her back to the door. She was obviously all ready to go. Her wet hair was twisted up into a messy ponytail at the back of her head. She wore a tank top and a pair of overalls. A pair of sandals were sitting on the floor in front of her.
Lance walked around to the front of the couch and sat down next to her, falling into the plush leather of the couch.
"Hey Angel," he sighed.
"Hi Lance," she said, not looking up from her sketchbook. Lance peeked over her shoulder to find her drawing a likeness of him.
"Wow, that's really good," he praised.
"Thanks, it's not my best, but I haven't really done many drawings of you, so I thought I should practice," Angelique told him, pulling back and looking at her drawing. She actually had done a really good job. She had sketched out his face, taking care to sketch even the finest details. She was now working on shading his spiky hair, altering lighter and darker to show the highlights of his bleached blonde hair.
"Do you usually draw people? Or do you draw other things as well?" Lance asked curiously.
"Well, I draw all kinds of things, but usually people," Angel replied.
"Do you have any other drawings with you?" Lance inquired.
"Yeah, here," Angel said flipping to the beginning of her sketchbook and handing it over to Lance.
The first picture was of Josh. He was younger, maybe one and a half or two, sitting in a highchair with food on his face. He was grinning his cheesy miniature version of Justin's smile. Lance chuckled at the picture; it was quite cute.
The next picture was of a couple standing in front of the Eifle Tower. They weren't kissing or holding hands, just looking at each other, but it was a wonderful look. It was a look of awe and love. It said more than anything else could have.
Lance flipped through, taking a few moments to look at each picture. He stopped when he came to two pages taped together.
"What's here?" he asked curiously trying to peak between the pages. He could make out two figures but not much else. They were standing close together . . . or embracing . . . or something, he just couldn't tell. Angelique reached over and put her hand on top of his.
"That's a special one," she said turning quickly past it. Lance gave her a curious look, before continuing to look at the pictures. Finally, he reached the picture of himself and looked up at Angelique again.
"These are so good, Angel," he complimented.
"Thanks," she said taking back her sketchbook.
There was silence for a moment, then, feeling bold, Lance asked, "Why wouldn't you let me see that one picture?"
Angelique looked up at him, studying him for a moment.
"You're very observant, aren't you Lance?" she said more to herself than to him. She was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke again.
"I'm keeping a secret," Angelique spoke slowly," . . . an important secret, and the reason I can't show you that picture is because you're so observant."
"That doesn't make sense," Lance countered.
"Yes, it does," Angelique replied, "If I showed you the picture, you would figure out the secret. You would watch every move and listen to every word until you understood every hidden meaning of it, and you know it's true. I was watching you today, watching Justin, for whatever reason you had. I saw you . . . I know you're smart, Lance. But the fact is, whatever you were waiting for him to give away is something he hasn't told you for a specific reason. You may be able to figure it out, but if you do, I wouldn't bring it up until he does. He will tell when he's ready and only then," Angelique concluded sternly. She looked at Lance trying to figure out how much he knew and how much she may have given away.
"Justin's gay, isn't he?" Lance said quietly almost whispering so no one passing by the room could hear him.
Angelique looked at him seriously, trying to decide if she should confirm his suspicions.
"Yes," she confirmed cautiously.
Lance bit his lip and looked down at his hands. So, he had been right about some of his suspicions . . .
"I have one more question, Angel . . . about Justin," Lance informed her slowly.
"And what would that be?" she inquired.
"Is Justin . . . I mean, does Justin have a . . . crush on JC?" Lance stumbled out looking up at Angelique.
"Yes, and I'm only telling you this because I trust you, Lance. If I find out that you've mentioned any of this to Justin, I will find you, and I will hurt you, and you have my word as his best friend, former lover, and the mother of his child. I love him, and I care about him," Angel insisted.
"I won't say a word to him about any of this. I swear," Lance promised the girl.
"Okay. I trust you, Lance," Angelique stated simply.
Lance nodded his head and stood up.
"I'm going to go see if anyone else is ready," Lance informed her. She nodded her aknowledgement as Lance walked out of the room towards the stairs. He headed up the stair and poked his head into Chris's room. He found Chris sitting at his computer with headphones on, so he turned around and walked towards JC's room. The door was opened a crack, so Lance walked in casually. JC stood digging through a draw, a towel draped loosely around his hips.
"Hey Jace," Lance drawled.
JC jumped at the sound of Lance's voice. He spun around quickly leaning against the drawer to close it.
"You surprised me," JC said laughingly.
Lance smiled. He closed the door and flopped down on JC's bed.
"What's up, Lansten?" JC asked slipping on a pair of boxer-briefs under his towel and then a pair of loose mesh shorts over those. He pulled off the towel and tossed it in the direction of his hamper, shrugging when it didn't quite make it to the hamper.. He flopped down on the bed next to Lance.
"Nothing. Just thinking," Lance sighed keeping his eyes closed.
"Uh oh, that's no good," JC teased.
"Shut up," he laughed reaching over and smacking JC on his bare stomach.
"No, really. What are you thinking about?" JC inquired.
Lance let out a sigh. He wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject, if he could at all. . .
"Just guys," he semi-lied.
"Like who?" JC asked, wondering if he was one. . .
"Do you think Justin's cute?" Lance questioned in a gossipy fashion.
JC was a little taken aback. Not quite what he'd been expecting.
"Um, I've never really thought about it," he admitted.
"Well, think about it," Lance laughed. He rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand so he could study his friend.
JC furrowed his brow, in thought.
"Yeah, I guess he's cute. Why?"
"I was just thinking he's really cute. I mean, all around. He's cute and he's funny and sweet and athletic and . . . did I mention that he's cute?" Lance asked, thinking at the same time, 'I hope he buys this.'
"Well . . . yeah, I guess so," JC said sounding a bit perplexed.
"What do you think?" Lance asked.
"I'm a little new at this, Lansten," JC laughed uncomfortably.
"Oh, come on, like you've never checked Justin out," Lance scoffed. "You had to have come to the conclusion that you were bi somehow."
"I never said that," JC got defensive.
"Yes, you did. You said that you'd never thought about it, and I know for a fact that you've checked me out. So, you must have checked him out, he is so much cuter than me," Lance prompted.
"He's not that much cuter than you," JC replied.
Lance smiled inwardly at that. So, JC had checked Justin out.
"But he is," Lance said smiling.
"I will plead the fifth to that one," JC smiled. "But otherwise, yes, he's cute."
"Cute?" Lance prodded.
"Okay, he's really cute," JC admitted. Lance gave him a skeptic look and JC broke. "Okay, so, he's hot!" JC laughed. "He's fine and he has a nice body and he's a sweetheart and he's . . . great."
Lance smiled, knowing he was right.
"But he's not gay," JC said still smiling from his admition.
Lance shrugged.
"So, he's still cute," he said.
JC nodded his head in agreement.
"Anyhow," Lance said looking at his watch, "it's almost time to go. So, I'm going to go and see if everyone's ready, while you, my friend, get dressed." Lance reached over and slapped JC on the stomach again. He stood up and stretched as he walked towards the door.
"Laters," Lance said as he stepped out and closed the door behind him.
Lance walked across the hall to Justin's room and knocked briefly on the closed door.
"Come in," came Justin's muffled holler.
Lance opened the door and scanned the room for Justin.
"J?" he called out, not seeing his younger friend anywhere in the room.
"Yo, sorry, Lansten. I'm in here," Justin said peeking his head out of his closet.
"Oh, hey, Justin. Sorry, I didn't see you," Lance said.
"S'okay," Justin laughed stepping out of his large walk in closet. "How does this look?" he asked spinning around quickly to show Lance his outfit of choice. He looked good. He was wearing a pair of well-fitting jeans, with a tight black tee-shirt. Over the top of his tee-shirt he wore a studded jean jacket.
"You look hot, Justin," Lance smirked. "If you were gay, I'd do you in a second."
Justin looked at him a moment before laughing.
"Thanks, Scoop . . . I think," he laughed.
"No problem," the older boy replied teasingly.
Justin walked over to his dresser, and pulled open a drawer full of glasses. He dug through until he found a pair of large, silver-framed, blue-tinted sunglasses. He put them on and checked himself out in the mirror. He leaned forward and began toying with his messy curls.
"Hey Justin," Lance spoke up.
"Hey whatie?" he replied, without looking away from the mirror.
"What do you think of JC?" Lance asked innocently.
Justin stopped toying with his hair and looked at Lance in the mirror.
"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously, yet trying not to sound like he cared too much. He went back to toying with his curls.
"Well, I was just thinking that he's pretty cute," Lance said. He watched Justin cringe as he said the words, and he almost felt bad, but he was on a mission. "I mean, I kinda wish he were gay, or bi, cause he's just . . . I dunno," he tapered off.
"Great?" Justin finished. He turned around and leaned on the edge of his dresser.
"Yeah," Lance smiled making eye contact with Justin. The two studied each other silently. Justin wondering how serious Lance was about wanting JC and Lance wondering if his plan was going to work.
"Well, he's not gay," Justin practically spat.
Lance almost jumped back at the coolness of Justin's words, and he knew his plan was working.
"He could be bi," Lance retorted.
"Not likely," Justin hissed.
"Why are you so sure?" Lance asked curiously.
"Because he tells me everything," Justin replied confidently.
"Aren't there things you've kept from him?" Lance icily inquired, narrowing his eyes at Justin.
Justin seemed at a loss for words as he sputter for an answer.
"W-well, y-yeah, but . . . but that's different," he stammered.
"How do you figure?" Lance inquired quietly.
"W-well, it's just that . . . that I don't keep important things from him," Justin fibbed.
Lance smiled slightly in a knowing way.
"You sure?" he asked softly.
Justin simply stared at him, his mouth agape, his lips moving slowly as if he were trying to say something, but the words wouldn't come to him.
"Well, Justin," Lance said standing up and moving towards the door, "I guess you'll never know . . . unless you ask."
Lance opened the door and stepped out, closing the door quietly behind him. He couldn't help but smile to himself. He had a good feeling that things would eventually work themselves out . . . at least with a little shove in the right direction.
Lance walked into the living room to find everyone, but Justin and JC waiting.
"Hey y'all," he said smiling brightly.
"Hey Lance," came the general reply.
Lance walked across the room and flopped down into the plush chair at the far end of the room, smiling to himself happily. He was pretty proud of himself. He glanced around the room and caught Angelique watching him curiously. He smiled widely at her, giving a little wave. She gave him a quick glare and turned away. She was obviously suspicious.
"Hey guys, you ready?" JC asked brightly,walking into the room with Justin not far behind. Justin looked pretty oblivious, as he watched JC carefully . . . observantly. Justin continued to watch JC, basically oblivious to everyone else. He watched as JC talked and mingled. . .
". . .Justin?"
"Wha-huh?" Justin said, looking around for the speaker.
"I asked if you were alright," Angelique repeated, placing her hand on his shoulder.
"Oh yeah . . . yeah, fine," Justin replied detachedly.
Angelique removed her hand and stepped back, looking at Justin curiously. She stared at him for a moment, then glanced over at Lance only to find him staring intently at Justin. Her eyes narrowed, and she felt her temperature rise with her anger.
"Lance," she said loudly enough so that she'd be heard over everyone's talking. He looked away from Justin, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "I need to speak to you . . . now, please," she said sternly, giving Lance a look that would break glass.
Lance stood up looking innocent and followed her to the hall outside the living room.
"James Lance Bass, what the fuck did you say to him!?" Angelique practically yelled at him, once they had reached the hallway.
"Nothing," Lance swore innocently. "I mean, nothing about knowing."
"Ooh, Lance, you working my nerves," Angel fumed. "Just, stop harassing him. Don't talk to him . . . anymore . . . at all."
Lance smiled sweetly.
"Don't worry. I won't say . . . a thing," Lance smirked. He turned and walked back into the living room, Angelique following close behind, still glaring at Lance.
"Everyone ready to go?" Lance asked the group, smiling brightly.
Please send questions, comments, and criticism (hopefully not much of this) to DivaKitT@juno.com.