Kelly's Problem--Kelly
Preamble:
This is a story based on real people in a situation which they were never in (Though I wish that they had ;)). The names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. This is purely a fantasy of the author and is not meant to be taken as fact.
Also, please note that the sex that occurs in this and succeeding parts is unprotected sex, which while understandable in the early '80s before the scourge of AIDS was fully understood was still dangerous because of the possibility of other sexually transmitted diseases. The characters in the story can only catch what I allow them to, even if it's a case of the pimples that are the bane of teenage life.
My thanks to those who have written me with words of encouragement and asking for more of the series. I have bounced ideas off of several of you and appreciate the help.
Now on with the story.
Introduction
When I got to the point where something might start happening between the two young men, I had the idea to try and tell the story of what's going on from the point of view of Kelly in a few brief paragraphs. We really haven't heard what Kelly is feeling as this relationship develops, other than brief peeks in parts 2 and 4. However, during one of my frequent breaks from writing, I was re-reading Comicality's New Kid In School, the part dealing with Ryan's view of how he and Randy got together along with a little bit about his background. It hit me that instead of just limiting Kelly to just a few paragraphs in the middle of a chapter, why not give Kelly his own chapter to tell his side of things.
This then is Kelly's story told from his point of view.
The Story
As I stood watching John test the water for our shower, I thought about how I'd gotten to this point. I guess that it all started with Tim.
We have known each other since third grade and been the best of friends for almost as long. Oh, we had our share of disagreements as friends often will; but they were minor and soon smoothed over. We slept over at each other's house several times and it was not unusual for our parents to comment that they thought that we were fraternal twins separated at birth, so much were we in each other's company. I felt for Tim like no one else until John. He was my "brother," whom I could tell anything to and do almost anything with.
It was in the seventh grade that I began to realize that I liked boys rather than girls. Girls just didn't do anything for me. In particular, there was one boy who I liked more than any other: Tim. The feelings I had for Tim began to have a name I could put to it, love.
The problem that I had was how to bring up my feelings for Tim without risking the strong friendship I had with him. The opportunity popped up when we got into a discussion of cock size that evolved into a "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" that turned into a jack-off session. I tried to talk him into letting me jack him off, but he said that that was something only queers did. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I turned away.
Tim asked, "What's the matter, Kel?"
"Nothing," was my reply. I started stroking my cock. But Tim refused to let it slide.
"Come on, Kel. Really, what's the matter? I know you well enough by now to know when something is bothering you."
"I told you nothing." I was getting desperate. It was clear to me, a seventh grader who knew the world so well, that I was going to lose Tim. I didn't want that to happen in the worst way.
"Kel, please tell me what's wrong. You shouldn't be getting that upset over not being able to give me a hand job."
I continued to look away from Tim and said, "If I tell you, you'll hate me."
"How could what you tell me make me hate my best friend in all the world. Nothing could be that bad."
I turned back and looked him in the eye. "Tim, I, uh, oh shit, I think I'm gay. There, are you happy now? You've got a fag for a former friend. I'll understand if you leave now and never want to see me again."
Tim's reply surprised me. He put an arm around my shoulder. "So. What's the big deal? You like guys. That just leaves more girls for me to choose from. It means that I won't have to compete with my best friend for any girl that I want to date. That's all. The only thing that I ask, is that you don't try making it with me. Heck, if you want, I'll even help you look for cute guys." He laughed at his last comment.
My eyes got wide as I realized what he had said. I wouldn't loose my best friend over this after all. "Tim, thanks. If you only knew what this means to me. Just do me a favor. Let this be our secret. If it ever got out ..." I left the rest unsaid.
Tim agreed. "I won't tell anyone without talking to you first."
The next few years went by quietly. I tried out for the basketball team in eighth grade and was good enough to make the squad. Tim jokingly accused me of trying out just to be able to scout out the cute guys in the shower. (It was no joke that I would get half hard in the shower and have to turn away to hide it from the other guys.)
I think that it surprised both Tim and I that I was pretty good at basketball. I mean we played one-on-one against each other, but it was never lopsided nor did either guy win an overwhelming amount of the time. I ended up as the starting point guard almost from the beginning.
My starting position made me a target from the beginning of the girls who saw an opportunity to latch on to the up and coming stud athlete. I was able to fend off most of them, but decided to that I had better date a few to keep up appearances. Several of the girls tried to make out with me on a date, but I was able to keep it down to some light kissing and an occasional feel. The girls I dated went the whole range. There was Gwen, who I dated for a month, who was slowly trying to work her way into my pants. Had it not been for Tim, who saw what she was doing, it might have gotten to the point where it might have ended in a very nasty breakup instead of the relatively easy breakup that occurred.
Then there was Sally, who I dated most of my freshman year. She realized we were not going anywhere but still wanted to remain friends. In fact, she ended up going out with Tim at least once that I know of.
And then there was Linda the bitch. She not only wanted to have sex with me, but she wanted to do it on the first date. She believed that she was God's gift to guys. Even had I been attracted to girls, I wouldn't have done it with her. She was too aggressive by far. It was very easy to dump her. We definitely did not remain friends.
On the other hand, my friendship with Tim continued to grow. In fact, although he would probably deny it, Tim acted like my protector of sorts. He kept his ears opens in case anyone suspected that I was gay. It was kind of him to do it, and I did appreciate it. We double dated several times, including the disastrous date with Linda. We did guy things together and enjoyed every moment.
When we graduated to the High School, I made the freshman basketball team without any problems. What surprised me about the tryouts is that Tim decided to try for the team. Unfortunately for Tim, he didn't make the team. But when he didn't, he went to the freshman coach and volunteered to become the student manager. I'm not really sure why he originally did it, but by the end of the season, Tim was thoroughly enjoying himself.
At the same time, I wasn't enjoying myself as much as I could have. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed myself on the basketball court. It was off the court that life was not going as well. I was in constant fear of being found out. I began to get hard in the showers after practice and games. Several of the guys would notice and start cracking jokes about it. I usually put the best possible face on it, but it still bothered me. Tim and I would talk about it, but it still didn't help. Finally I hit on a partial solution. I decided that I would be the last one into the shower and the last one to get dressed after practice.
Tim argued that this would just increase suspicion as to what I was doing.
I argued that in the immediate aftermath of the date with Linda, it couldn't get any worse. Damn it, I reminded him, the girl practically tried to rape me in the movie theater, grabbing for my crotch, aggressively trying to kiss me. While most guys might have welcomed that aggressiveness as a prelude to some hot sex, I was not so easy. Even if I were straight, that type of behavior would have repulsed me. After I told her that I never wanted to see her again, she told me that I was not a man. That a man would have had sex with her because all men wanted sex. I told her that I was not was to just throw myself at a girl to have meaningless sex. I said that sex was something very special to me and not to be had so casually. She had slapped my face and called me worthless as a man. If you hadn't dated Sally, she screamed, I'd think you were a fag.
Tim conceded my point but still didn't think it was a smart idea. "What do I tell the rest of the guys on the team when they ask why you're always late to the showers?"
"Just tell them I'm working on my game. Tell them that I want to be better so I can help the team win."
"OK. They might buy that. But be careful. I can't always protect you from some of the rumors that will be going around. Linda might decide to take her revenge by screaming to the world that you are a fag. That must be avoided at all cost, someone might just believe her. You know that don't you?"
"Yes," I replied. "I know it. But as long as we can point to a pattern to defend against such a charge, we'll be fine."
"Fine. Now all we've got to do is find you a boyfriend, so I can get a girl without having to worry about you."
I laughed. "You mean you haven't found me one yet? Gee, I would have thought that would have been easy."
"Yea. Well, not every guy advertises that he's gay and available to be a boyfriend."
"Don't worry, Tim. One will turn up sooner or later."
The teasing by my teammates was diminished. My folks picked up the slack for a while, asking when I was going to start dating. I told them that Linda had turned me off to dating and they seemed to accept that I would date in my own good time. My little brother, Joey, began to date when he was 13; so at least one Langer was actively pursuing the "fairer" sex.
When I became a sophomore, I took my driver's test and was given an old 1972 Chevy Nova to fix up and drive in recognition of the event. So now I had a car. I think that my parents thought that it would help me find a girl friend. It didn't quite work out that way.
As a sophomore, I graduated to the JV squad. I was the starter from the beginning. Not that that had any effect on our win-loss record. We still lost more than we won. I was having a good year; scoring in double figures and dishing out plenty of assists. Unfortunately the varsity was having as good a year as the JV, losing more than they were winning. There were rumors that some of the JV squad might be called up later in the year to gain experience. I didn't think that I would get called up, even if the rumor was true.
Then it happened. One night, the JV had the early practice and the varsity had the late practice. You see, because we had only two gyms and five teams (3 boys and two girls teams) we had to divide into early and late practices in each gym. The JV and Freshmen boys teams practiced at the same time, each taking half the gym.
Normally, I was out of the showers and on the way to the car before the varsity started practicing. That night Tim had to stay a little later and needed a ride home. So I went up into the stands to watch the varsity practice for a while. Now you may think it odd, but I'd never really paid much attention to the varsity practices before. Oh, I knew the players on the varsity, and had even partied with them on occasion. I just had never noticed one person in particular before: John Wilkerson, the varsity team manager.
Something clicked inside my head. Stars seemed to appear before my eyes. Every time I looked at John, my heart did a flip. Had I found the one I had sent the last four years looking for? No, it couldn't be. I mean, I had seen John around school before, walking around on his crutches, talking and joking with his friends. Nothing had happened on those other occasions! I had to talk to Tim, immediately! I got down out of the stands and went looking for him. I found him in the locker room, getting ready to leave.
"Oh, good. I don't have to go looking for you."
"Tim, I've got to talk to you. Now."
Tim put his backpack on the bench and sat down. "What's up, Kelly? Is something wrong?"
"I think ... No. Let me put it this way." I was stumbling for a way to tell Tim. Tim had an anxious look on his face as I tried again, "What do you know about John Wilkerson?"
Tim got a weird look on his face as if to wonder where this was going. "Let's see. He's a junior. He's the varsity team manager. I've worked with him on occasion, taking inventory before and after the season; working the bench for some of the varsity home games with him. He seems like a nice guy. Why do you want to know?"
"I don't know." God, how do I do this? "Tim, I think I may have found what I've been looking for. I don't know how else to put it." I had kind of a silly grin on my face.
"What do you mean, Kel? You mean John Wilkerson? Are you sure? You've seen John lots of times. Why all of the sudden this attraction?"
"I don't really know, Tim. I just know that he's the one. And I've got to talk to him." I was getting more excited by the prospect than I would have thought possible.
"Whoa, boy! Slow down a bit. After keeping that secret for so long, are you willing to risk it all on a chance that your 'dream guy' might feel the way that you do? Do you even know if he's gay? Or bisexual? Hell, he might even be a gay basher for all either of us know. So take it easy. Rein in those hormones for a while. Let me poke around a little. You know, talk to John, get to know him a little bit better. We're already friends, so if I start asking some subtle questions it might go over easier than if all of the sudden you tried getting buddy-buddy with him."
I hung my head and looked at my feet. "Ok, Tim. Whatever you say. I'll bow to your wisdom in this. But this doesn't mean that I want to wait too long before I take action my self. If there's such a thing as love at first sight or something like it, I just got hit by it. Understand?"
Tim nodded, and said, "OK, Kelly. Just give me some time."
I really wanted to give him that time. I was scared that John wouldn't like me. Or worse yet, not only wouldn't he like me but that he would trumpet it all over the place that I was gay. But fate intervened. About two weeks after my conversation with Tim, Fred Jackson, the starting point guard on the varsity squad, went down with a broken ankle. The JV coach and varsity coach called me into the coaches' office. They told me I was being promoted to the varsity team to fill Fred's spot on the roster. After that, the JV coach left. The varsity coach asked me if I would stay for a couple of seconds.
"Sure, Coach. What's up?"
"Well, son, here's the deal. I've been watching you for a while, and I was going to be bring you up for some spot action later in the season. Now, I changed my mind. You see, I don't think that Tony Dickerson is good enough to start over the long haul. He's good off the bench for several minutes at a time, but can't really eat up a lot of minutes. If you do well in practice and in the couple of games before then, I'm thinking of starting you for the Monroe game. But this must be kept between you and I. Word cannot leak out about this otherwise it might split the team."
"OK, Coach. Whatever you say. I'm just not sure I'm ready."
"Believe me, Kelly. You're ready or I wouldn't be thinking about doing this. Now go get dressed and I'll see you tomorrow afternoon." I left the office feeling weird. I don't have any idea what's going on but fate is dealing me a heck of a hand. I'm going to be seeing and talking to John before I had thought I would. I had to tell Tim.
I found him waiting for me in the locker room. "Hey, Tim! Guess what?"
"Let me guess! You're going to be playing on the varsity the rest of the year."
"How did you know?"
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess that was why both coaches wanted to talk with you today after practice."
"I suppose not. This is going to make it harder though. Being closer to John is both better and worse. Tim, I'm scared."
"Don't worry, Kel. Everything will work out."
"Alright Tim. Whatever you say. Let's go."
The next day I showed up early for the varsity practice as I usually did for the JV practice. John was waiting for me.
"Hi, Kelly. I'm John Wilkerson, the varsity manager. I here you're joining the varsity team starting today. Just let me know if you need anything and I'll see if I can get it for you." He held out his hand.
Let's see, what do I need? How about a guy about 5'5", dark hair, blue eyes and a smile to die for? Instead, I said, "Nice to meet you, John. I don't need anything now, but I'll let you know if I do. Thanks." I took his hand and shook it.
The next week went smoothly, although I was getting some looks when I continued my practice of being the last one in the showers. Tim told me that John had asked him if I had done the same thing during JV practice. He said that he had told John that I had and that he was not sure why I did it. Perhaps I was shy?
Then it happened. It was a Monday night, and Coach had held me back to talk to me about Monroe. He told me that there was a good possibility I would start, but to keep it quiet until he could tell the whole team. I told him I would keep it quiet and went to the locker room as usual. I got a towel from John, and walked into the shower. As I was sudsing up, I heard John yell, "Hey Kelly, I got a question for you."
"Yes? What is it?"
"Have you got the car tonight?"
"Uh, yes I do. Why?"
"Well, my folks called and asked if I could get a ride from one of the players. Something had come up and they wouldn't be able to pick me up for another hour or so. Since you're the only player still around, I thought I'd ask."
I hesitated for a few seconds, nervous. Was this it? Had he heard something? If so, why did he want to talk to me alone? Did he want to blackmail me? What did he want that I had? I answered, "Yeh, sure. I'll give you a ride home."
"Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll wait for you by the laundry room. Just bring your stuff to me there and I'll get the laundry started before we go."
"OK."
I heard him leave. I finished showering, dried off and got dressed. I went to the laundry room and found him waiting there like he had said he would. I tossed him my stuff and asked, "Ready to go?"
"Sure. Where are you parked?"
I told him I was parked out back and told him that I'd go get the car.
"You don't need to, I can walk that far. Believe me," John said grabbing my shoulder to keep me from leaving. "It's not that difficult. Even on crutches."
"You sure? It's no trouble, really."
"I'm positive. Now, where are you parked?" I pointed to my Chevy Nova and we started walking towards it. I was unsure of what to do. I was so close to him now. I wanted to touch so badly but I was afraid of his reaction.
When we got to the car, I opened my door first then leaned across and unlocked the passenger side door. He tossed his crutches and backpack into the back seat and then got in himself. I started up the car and asked him where he lived.
He replied that he lived over on Sunset Valley Drive. He then asked, "Kelly, how's it going? Are you glad you moved up to the varsity?"
"Yes, I am; although I would rather have gotten there on my own. I feel bad that I had to get there because Fred broke his ankle. I seem to be getting the hang of things. Coach has made sure that I know the plays so that if I have to run the team during the game, I know what I'm doing. The guys have been helpful, making sure I don't screw up too badly."
"Yeh. I notice that you haven't been doing do badly. Heck, who knows? Maybe, by the end of the season, you could be the starter." Had Coach told him? I'm going to have to be careful about this.
"You think so?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face in case he didn't know.
"Yes, I do. Tony is good coming off the bench, but he's not the guy to run the team over the long hall. And, deep down, he knows it. He stays on the team basically to stay in shape for the baseball season. That and the fact he does love basketball. Just don't tell him what I said, okay.
"The time you're spending with Coach after practice should help as well. I mean, that is what you are doing after practice, isn't it?"
"Ah, yes and no."
"Well, which is it?" he asked. Alright, this was definitely not going where I thought that it was going to go. I decided to play it by ear and answer him truthfully when I could.
"Listen, I ... ah ... don't really want to ... ah ... talk about it, okay."
"Are you sure? If there's a problem, maybe I could help. I promise I won't say anything to the rest of the guys, if that's what you're worried about."
"I SAID NO! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" I shouted. I was getting nervous about this conversation. I decided to pull over to the shoulder of the road.
"OK. OK. Calm down. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't want to talk about it."
"Ah, shit," I muttered. I pulled off to the shoulder of the road. "Listen, you've got to promise me that you won't say anything to any of the guys. If they found out what I'm going to tell you, my life might as well be over."
The look on his face was one of worry. He looked like he wasn't sure he wanted to know what was bothering me. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Kelly. Really, it's not important."
"Just listen, alright? I've got to tell someone. It's killing me not to." Tears had welled up in my eyes. I'm felt like I was about to loose it. "You asked why I was late getting to the showers every day after practice. Well, I'll tell you."
"Tim had said that he thought you were just shy about showering with the guys. If that's it, it is no big deal. Some guys are just shy about that sort of thing," John said.
"Just let me finish, please?"
"OK."
"Tim was partially right. I am shy about showering with the guys. But more because of what might happen in the shower than anything else."
"What do you mean?" John asked.
The tears began to fall from my eyes. I was falling apart. "Well, ... ah ... you see I get hard in the shower with other guys. I can't help it."
"So what, it happens." Then he got a look, as if a light bulb had gone off in his head. "Kelly," He asked quietly, "Are you gay?" With that, the floodgates opened, I started to cry.
"Yes! I'm gay!" I sobbed. "There! Are you happy now? You've got a fag on the team!" What he said next threw me.
He leaned over and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "Kelly, Kelly. Calm down. Did you think you were the only gay boy in school? We may not be very numerous, but we do exist."
I stopped crying suddenly. "What do you mean 'we'?" My head tilted slightly as I looked at John. "John, are you gay too?"
He looked like a very frightened child at that moment as if he had gone too far himself. "Ah, yeh. Listen, Kelly, I don't want this to get out either. If this gets out, Coach could can me quicker than you say 'Go, Medford!' But yes, I am gay."
OH, MY GOD! The feeling of joy that coursed through my veins was overwhelming. My dream boy was gay! I stared at John's eyes, searching for something. I found it! I leaned over to his seat and kissed him on the lips. The look on his face was priceless, both confused and happy at the same time.
"Kelly! Slow down, please. I am gay, and don't take this wrong, but ... ah ... I need to think here. I like you, sure. I definitely want you as a friend. But I don't know if this is going anywhere."
Damn! Maybe I'd been wrong after all! Maybe he didn't like me. I looked at the floor of the car. "I'm sorry, John. It won't happen again. I'll take you home now."
I pulled back on to the road and drove John home. As he got out of the car, I handed him his backpack. He said, "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow at practice."
"Yeh, see you tomorrow."
Before I could reach over and close the door, John stopped me and said, "Kelly, if you want to talk some more, see me after practice. OK?"
"Sure. Tomorrow." I drove off and John walked into the house.
I was a bundle of nerves. Was he or wasn't he? I was sure he wouldn't tell anyone because of the possibility of my telling everyone about him out of a sense of tit for tat. I couldn't even call Tim and tell him what had happened. I barely ate dinner and went to finish up my homework before going to bed. I cried myself to sleep that night, worried what the next day would bring.
The bundle of nerves that had been there the night before carried into the next day. I don't remember anything about the school day until practice. I think that everything went fine, certainly no major problems arose or I would have heard about it from Tim who had five out of seven classes with me.
When I walked into the locker room, I heard John and several of the other varsity players talking. They were talking about me. The phrase that stuck in my mind was John saying, "I've got everything under control." That pissed me off! He had me under control! What bullshit!
I got dressed and went out to practice. Every time I looked in John's direction, "I've got everything under control" echoed in my mind and I became more upset. I stayed on the court late as usual, but I was determined to keep myself under control when I saw John in the locker room. When I saw him there, talking to Tony and Jack, my emotions almost got the best of me. The look I shot John would have been lethal.
He saw me and quickly got rid of the others. "Kelly, could I see you for a minute!" John shouted.
"If it's to ask for another ride, the answer is no!" I snapped.
"Not necessarily! I just want to talk you! Is that alright?" He shouted back.
"What's there to talk about? You said it all before," I replied. I turned the shower off, wrapped a towel around my waist and stormed past him. "You have me under control already. Isn't that what you told Tony? Last night was just a ruse to try and get me! Wasn't it?" I slammed my locker shut. God, what was happening to me? My life was suddenly turning to shit. The boy I wanted to love was turning against me. I cried for a second before I got myself back under control.
I heard John move around before I heard his voice, full of his own emotion. "I told them I had the situation under control. Kelly, I had to tell them something. They had asked me to find out what was bothering you. You seemed distant, never coming into shower until almost everybody was gone. Tim said that you were just shy. Maybe it was just me, but I sensed it was something more. I had to find out if it was something that I could help you with. For Pete's sake, I couldn't very well tell them what we did last night, could I?"
I sighed. "No, I suppose not."
"Alright, then. Could we start this over again, please? Kelly, would you mind if I hitched a ride with you again tonight?"
I thought about it for a few seconds. What was the right thing to do? Should I take the chance and trust him? Maybe he was right, he had had to tell the guys something. Especially since they apparently had been asking what my problem was and had asked him to find out for them. "OK."
It was deathly quiet until we got into the car. Then John said, "Kelly, can I say something?"
"Sure. What's up?"
"Remember last night when I said that I wanted to think before we went any further? Well, I've done some thinking about what happened last night and I've decided that I definitely want to be friends. And I also am willing to let this friendship go wherever it ends up going. If that means more than simple friendship, so be it. If not, I'd still like to be your friend. OK?"
I wasn't sure how to respond. I loved him, of that I was sure. Nothing else could feel the way that I felt about John. So I shrugged and told him that if that's what he wanted, fine.
"Great." He paused for a second. "So, ah, what do you like to do? Away from the basketball court, I mean."
"Well, I like to play Atari or Intellivision like Pong or Centipede. I try to find time to hang out at the local disco with some of my friends. I like to read some fantasy novels when I can afford them. What do you do when you're not in school?"
"My social life away from school is kind of limited. I've got an Atari game at home that I play. But most of my time is spent reading. To tell the truth, the team is pretty much it. I don't get out much. Occasionally I play hoops with some of the guys in the neighborhood, but that's in a wheelchair. There's not very much in the way of physical activity such as dancing that you can do on these. To go out to Mac's or the movies is about the extent of social outings I'm involved in. I don't have any close friends and certainly no girl friends."
"Oh, John. What can I say?"
"Don't say anything. If there's one thing I can't deal with, it's other people pitying me. If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I have an independent streak a mile wide. If I can, I like to do things myself -- without help. I've got an independence streak a mile wide.
"But there's one thing I can't do without someone's help. It's called love. I've found that it is a two-man thing, at least as far as I'm concerned. Kelly, I wasn't totally truthful earlier. I'm not completely sure, but I think I may be falling for you."
He was falling for me! Oh, thank you, Lord! My dreams had come true and my prayers answered. My spirit soared. I pulled off to the side of the road before I lost my concentration and ended up in an accident.
I reached over towards John, who was looking out the window, and shook his shoulder. "John. John?? Are you OK?"
"Huh? What?"
"I said, are you OK? You seemed to space out there for a second."
"Ah, yeh, I'm fine. Let's get going. I don't want to worry my folks."
"Did you mean what you just said? About falling for me, I mean," I asked as I pulled back onto the road.
"Yes, I suppose so. Why. Don't want to have a cripple fall for you?" He said sarcastically.
I was shocked. How could he think such a thing? "John! That's not it at all. Oh, Christ! If you are all that I think you might be, I don't care about your defects. I want what appears to be the caring, funny man I see during practice and during school. The man who jokes with people, even at his own expense. The man who makes sure that if something is needed, whether it be encouragement or something material, it is provided. I want that man, for a friend, maybe more. I can't say that your body turns me on, but hey, I've never seen the whole package." I joked.
I thought I saw a slow blush show on his face, but it could have been the slight bit of lighting that was in the car. "Uh, Kelly, I don't know what to say. I've never thought of myself that way. Never really thought anybody would see me in that way, either. I suppose that I have been half afraid of what would happen if I opened up to anybody like this. I know some of the problems I've faced because of my physical condition and didn't want to add the stigma of being gay to it."
"John, do you think it's been any easier for me? I known I've liked guys since I had sex ed in seventh grade. Guys did something for me that girls just didn't do. I liked looking at guys in the shower. Just try explaining to your friends why you are beginning to get hard in the shower, especially when you haven't even turned on the water yet. The taunts that I heard were enough to make me go as deep into the closet as I could. Hell, I even went out on a few dates just to get the other guys off my back. And if it wasn't my friends making fun of my "problem", it was my parents, who wondered why their darling son wasn't going on dates like the other boys his age. Everything I have done for the past couple of years has been for appearances' sake. The most I would do on those dates I did go on was kiss the girl on the cheek. When friends would ask for "details", I would come up with the usual whoppers that other guys told about getting to first, second and third base with a girl.
The folks were just as bad; wanting to know if I'd done anything that they needed to be aware of. I would blush a little every time they asked and that seemed to do the trick; although it didn't mean what they thought it did. I was scared that they would figure out what I was thinking and hate me for it."
"Kelly, I don't think your folks would hate you. They might not understand, but you're still their son. If they are worried about grandchildren, they've still got your brother and sister don't they?"
"Yeh, but still ...."
"Kelly, don't worry about it. You'll let them know when you are ready, not before."
I sighed. "OK. Hopefully, they won't find out until I'm ready."
Nobody said anything until I pulled into the driveway to John's house. Then an idea hit me. "Say John, how about I drive you home every night. I mean, I'm still going to be the last one in the shower and you're still going to have to wait for me to get done before you can go."
I was hoping he'd say yes. I really wanted to have him near me, to be able to touch him, hold him, even if it's only for the few minutes between the end of practice and the time I drop him off at his house.
He opened the door and got up on his crutches. He leaned back in and said, "If you're sure that it would not be a problem. I'd love to ride home with you after practice."
"A problem? No, it would not be a problem," I replied. I scooted over towards him; leaned over and gave John a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, then."
Then came his turn to shock me. Unwilling to break off the kiss, he reached out with his hands, pulled my head towards him and kissed me right on the lips! Oh, my God. This can't be happening! His tongue was trying to gain entrance. I opened my mouth and his tongue darted in and began exploring. My tongue reciprocated his actions and explored his mouth. We spent several minutes tongue wrestling before he broke it off. I don't suppose it would have looked right if his parents decided to find out what was taking their son so long to get into the house.
Even though he had broken off the kiss, the look in his eyes said that he wished he hadn't. His voice was shaking when he told me that he'd see me tomorrow. I told him the same and got back behind the wheel.
As I drove off, I was on cloud nine. My life had taken a definite turn for the better. I had a boyfriend! And I never wanted to lose him!
Well, there it is. Kelly's story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Part 6 is in the process of being written and I hope to have it out by the end of the month, depending on when I have the time to write it.
As always, comments or constructive criticism is welcome. Flames will always be ignored. You can write me at tjw6195@aol.com. Remember, a writer always likes to hear what others think.
Tim