This is a story about a love between two young boys. The usual disclaimers apply: If you are under the age of 18, or reading such material is illegal in your jurisdiction, then please leave this story unread now. There are within the story explicit descriptions of sex between boys, but that is not the main theme; so if your thing is reading stories that are purely sex in nature then this story will probably not be to your liking.
The story is made up of both fact and fantasy. The people herein are real, but their names have been changed. The rest of the story, as I said, is a mixture of fact and fantasy . . . perhaps how I wish it had happened. As to what is fact and what isn't, I shall keep that to myself. As usual, comments and suggestions are welcome; flames will be ignored.
Kenny_6: The Birthday Party
Friday morning, July 17. Finally I was fifteen! The laws at that time and place allowed fifteen-year-olds to get a drivers license, if their parents would consent. I don't know how I did it, but I had managed to persuade my dad to sign for me. The morning was brilliantly sunny and just comfortably warm: around 75 degrees. By 9 AM I was in the driver examiners office with Bob and Kenny Collins. Dad was "busy", he said, and couldn't come with me. So Mr. Collins had agreed to lend me his car to take the test. He had allowed me to drive quite often during the past six months and was confident I would pass without a problem. And pass I did!
"Now we're mobile!" Kenny said happily as I drove us all back to the Collins house.
"Don't forget," his father reminded him, "You still don't have a car."
"Don't YOU forget," Kenny shot back, "We're gonna take your car tonight." Kenny had obviously put a lot of planning into this party, but he refused to tell me anything about what was going on.
We had got serious about saving money for college that summer, and had both landed jobs as orderlies at the hospital. We worked a full 40 hours during the week, and often one or the other of us would work the weekend as well. The money wasn't great, but considering our ages we felt lucky to have a job at all. Of course working at the hospital provided us access to a lot of information about our bodies that was otherwise difficult to get. This we soaked up greedily, each of us anxious to understand ourselves as well as we could, both to enhance our sexual pleasure and to generally understand all the health issues we could. But the Thursday of my birthday and the following Friday, we had both taken the days off.
As expected, there was no observance of my birthday at home. I don't mean that to sound critical, it's just that Dad had other things on his mind and didn't consider things like birthdays worth remembering. But at the time I was rather hurt. So I had left the house in the morning when Mr. Collins had picked me up, and didn't plan to return till Sunday night.
The Collins house was quite a different story though. For dinner, which I noticed was early, there was my favorite food: roast turkey with all the trimmings, and of course a birthday cake. They had all bought me gifts, including Robbie who was away working, but had mailed me a really nice shirt. After I had opened the gifts and tried on the clothes I'd received, Kenny started getting really agitated. "C'mon!" he coaxed, "It's time to go! I got the car all loaded."
"Loaded?" I questioned, "Loaded with what?"
"You'll find out soon enough, if you'll just get your butt in gear." Now my curiosity was really working, so by 7 PM Kenny and I were in his dad's car backing out of the driveway.
Kenny had a perpetual grin on his face that was driving me crazy! I was nervous anyway, driving his dad's car on my own for the first time, and as hard as I tried I could not get him to say anything at all about what he'd planned. He just sat there with that evil grin on his face and directed me: turn right here, turn left there, get on Highway 2, etc, etc. After about an hour and a half he said "Ok, stop here."
"Stop where?" I asked. We were on a country road, a sort of semi-main highway, and there was nothing in sight but a motel. "In the motel," he directed.
Kenny and his dad had found this place and made the necessary arrangements. There were several cabins, each quite isolated, overlooking a small river with one of the most spectacular waterfalls I had ever seen! They weren't really elaborate cabins, in fact they were rather basic and rustic, the type used mainly by fishermen. But to two young boys who'd never done anything like this before, they were like the Taj Mahal! The reservations had been made and the cabin paid for, so all we had to do was drive to the cabin and walk in.
"What's goin' on?" I asked impatiently.
"Nothin' much," Kenny smirked, "I just thought it was high time for our honeymoon. This cracked me up. We'd been having sex almost every day for over six months, and now we're having a honeymoon?
"We haven't really been having sex," Kenny observed knowingly, "We've just been playin' at it. Tonight we're gonna have SEX!"
"Like what?" I asked. Kenny just grinned and said, for the thousandth time, "You'll find out!"
"Take a good look," he ordered, "'Cause it's the last you're gonna see for a little while."
"What does that mean?" I asked, but I didn't need an answer. Kenny produced a blindfold and ordered me to lean towards him so he could put it on me. "What the blazes is going on?" I demanded.
"Trust me, Charlie... Please?"
"Not sure if I can, Kenny. You're making me really nervous."
"So you don't trust me? Whadda ya think I'm gonna do? I thought you knew me better than to think some awful thing about me."
Kenny was starting to show me that pouting look that said I had hurt him terribly, so what could I do? So I said OK and leaned over so he could put the blindfold in place. "You gotta promise you'll trust me and keep it on till I say you can take it off, ok?" he said as he tied it in place.
"How long?" I wanted to know.
"Not sure, but probably an hour or two. Believe me you're gonna want to take it off, but if you do you'll ruin everything." So I reluctantly promised.
That taken care of, Kenny scooted round the car and helped me out, then after getting some things out of the trunk of the car and locking it, he led me up to the cabin, inside, and instructed me to strip while he brought in the luggage.
"Luggage?" I questioned.
"Yeah, well you can call it that. Just a few... er... supplies." Well, being suddenly stone blind I had nothing else to do, so I did what I was told and stripped. By the time Kenny finished about three trips in and out, I was naked except for the blindfold. "Ok," he instructed very business-like, "I better take you to the bathroom before we start." I didn't even bother to ask 'start what' because I was sick to death of hearing "you'll find out." As I sat on the john I could hear rustling and swooshing of material, as I later found out Kenny put something over the bed. When I finished my leak I was led back out to the bedroom/living room and told to lie down face up.
"Hey!" I complained, "That's cold! What is it, rubber?"
"Something like that. It's just a plastic sheet I put over the bed. I'll be taking it off in a little while." It was obvious he was planning to make quite a mess of some kind, but I had no idea how or why. As the plot thickened I was more and more tempted to rip off the blindfold, but our relationship was built on trust, and I knew Kenny'd be terribly hurt if I did after promising, so I went along.
I heard various things being unpacked, then water running in the bathroom, evidently some kind of container being filled with water. Silence for a minute or so, then a warm, wet feeling on my chest and shoulders. It felt good, especially when Kenny started rubbing gently, even if it was with a cloth in his hand. The warm water, obviously with generous amounts of some kind of nice smelling soap, felt really good! I was just beginning to relax and enjoy whatever was going on when the rubbing stopped at my waist, having completely soaked my upper body, including arms, from waist to neck. Then I felt a scraping sensation on my chest.
"What the hell??" I yelled, "You're... you're shaving me!"
"Yup." was all the answer I got.
"Why? And why my chest? There isn't much hair there anyway."
"Oh, stop complaining and enjoy it. I'm not doing just your chest. So I lay there, not particularly upset, but so curious I thought I was going to bust. True to his word, Kenny didn't restrict himself to my chest. He lifted my arms one by one and shaved under them. To be honest there wasn't much there, but what there was, was now gone. He shaved all the hair off my arms, chest, shoulders. It seemed that there was not a square inch of my body that didn't feel that razor.
When he had finished the front, he had me turn over and he denuded my back too, then I felt the warm water again on my butt, down the crack, and down the backs of my legs. Then the razor again. I would never have admitted it to Kenny, but I was starting to get into this, whatever was going on. "Mmmmmm!" I moaned, "That really feels good!"
"You just wait," Kenny chuckled. Shit! I'd given him another opening.
The warm wet cloth, followed by the razor, had found their way to my butt. Kenny spread my cheeks and soon whatever hair was there was gone. He circled my pucker hole gently but thoroughly. Then down my left leg and up my right, spreading my legs to get whatever was there.
"OK, you're done on that side," he said finally, "Turn over." More warm water and soap, more scraping, and the line of hair starting to develop from my navel to my pubes was gone. More water, more scraping, and my cock and balls were bald. Again down my left leg and up my right, and I was completely hairless except for my head. A pause, something being shaken in a bottle, and then the most incredible smelling lotion was being applied. "Ok," he instructed, "You can stand up now." More application of the lotion after I was standing, then the rustle of the rubber sheet being taken off the bed.
"'K," he instructed gleefully, "Now lift your left leg." I did, and something cold and light was slipped over my foot. "Now the other one," he said. I did, then whatever it was slid up my legs and around my waist. It felt sorta cool and oh so soft! Then something was being lowered over my head, my arms being lifted and moved through sleeve holes. I was feeling so relaxed I could have gone to sleep standing there as I waited to see what was coming next. All except one part of me that is, and that part was anything but asleep. I was so hard I was in real pain! I stood there for what seemed like a long time, hearing faint rustling behind me. "Ok," Kenny finally said, "I'm gonna take the blindfold off now. I felt his hands begin to pull the blindfold off, but even before that I felt his hot breath, and smelled his cologne, which was different from mine, but OH! So sexy!
When I could see again I was standing in front of a full-length mirror. Kenny was standing beside me, and... and we were both wearing silk pajamas! His were pure white, and mine were red! If I thought they felt good, I was totally unprepared for how they looked. I looked at myself and got instantly harder. I looked at Kenny and almost came on the spot! That dark skin of his, contrasted by the white of the pajamas, was totally, incredibly, AWESOME! "C'mon," he said after he'd given me a giant hug and kiss. I followed as he led me out the front of the cabin to the small verandah, which overlooked the ravine with the waterfall below. By now it was after 11 PM and totally dark, and it had cooled to about 60 degrees. The sensation of moving around in those silk pajamas, in that cold air, was completely indescribable! Kenny put his arm around my waist as we stood there and watched the water. At first I felt the cold of the silk material, then only seconds later the warmth of his arms. Any of y'all reading this who have a fetish similar to mine will understand how it felt; others probably won't, and you have my sympathy.
"Anybody ever tell you you're sexy in red?" Kenny asked as he embraced me and then gave me one of his long, wet, deep kisses.
"Nobody ever told me I was sexy in anything!" I answered when we finally broke the kiss. My body at that moment was so alive I could hardly stand it! Normal temperature around my shoulders, groin, butt; cold sensations where the silk was touching lightly; warm where Kenny's arms were around me. It was totally incredible! When the radio Kenny had playing softly started on one of our favorite love songs, I took him in my arms and we danced, slow, gentle, each nuzzling the other's neck. If you have never danced with someone you love in silk pajamas after having just shaved down completely, I highly recommend it!
I had a million questions for Kenny, but he wouldn't answer any of them. I wanted to know how he'd figured this all out, how he'd arranged it, how he knew... but he just said "Part two coming up. Let's go to bed before I jump ya right here!" I couldn't argue that point, so we went arm in arm back into the cabin, pulled back the covers and sheets, and slid into the bed.
We rolled around the bed for a while, touching, feeling, kissing, experiencing. Kenny seemed to want to be the aggressor, so I let him. He had certainly known what he was doing so far, and who was I to argue? I was hardly coherent by that time anyway, my mind , my body's every nerve so far into overload that I was sure I was going to short circuit. To this day I don't know how it happened or when, but next thing I knew we were both naked again and Kenny's tongue was roving all over my body. He didn't touch my genitals, nor would he allow me to touch his. I think he knew that the slightest of touch in that area would send me over the edge and he didn't want that, not yet; he had other plans.
I felt my legs being pulled apart, then a finger was gently probing my anus. My whole body began to tremble. We had never before so much as touched each other there. We'd talked about it, read about it, but we'd never done it or even come close. My eyes fluttered open in time to see Kenny's index finger exiting his mouth, coated with saliva. As he began probing my opening, a little more forcefully now, I gasped. "Stop me if I hurt you," he whispered. Then I felt the finger enter me. He slid it in and out a few times, working it sideways as he finger fucked me. I had never felt anything so incredibly wonderful.
"You got any Vaseline?" I asked, knowing what was coming.
"Nope," he replied breathlessly, "Tonight there's gonna be nothing between us. Not hair, not clothes, not even grease. Just take me in your mouth and get me well slobbered. But be careful, I'm getting real close." I did as he asked, having to use all the self control I could muster to keep from sucking as hard as I could. Then my legs were gently lifted to his shoulders, and I felt something probing my opening that wasn't a finger. I was so relaxed I probably couldn't resist even if I'd wanted to, but I concentrated on relaxing more anyway. There was a gentle push, then a little more forceful, and I felt a very slight POP as the head of Kenny's penis slid inside. "More!" I gasped, "Oh, yeah Kenny! Do it!" I could not believe how good it felt, as inch by inch Kenny buried his five plus inches of sex probe in my bowels.
"Does it hurt?" Kenny asked when he was all the way in.
"Yeah," I answered breathlessly, "A little. But I like it, hurt and all. Do it, man!" And Kenny did. He began slowly sliding himself in and out, every thrust sending my sensations into total overload. His hands were on my shoulders now, I was like a limp rag doll as he plunged in and out, when I felt the waves of orgasm building. "I'm... I'm..."
"I know," he panted, "I can feel it. You're cumming and so am I." And with that we both moaned loudly, I felt him stiffen and shudder inside me, I felt my own sphincter tighten around him, and as I started showering my face, chest and belly with my seed, I felt myself being filled with Kenny's orgasm.
When the storm finally subsided, Kenny pulled out a very much smaller, softer piece of meat and slid up the bed and lay beside me. "Happy birthday, handsome," he whispered. I didn't answer, just turned my head toward him and we kissed, then fell asleep. The last thing I remember feeling was the tingling of my entire body, the warm feeling of my recently violated hole, and Kenny's hot breath on my neck.
A while later I woke up to the feeling of my dick in Kenny's mouth. I was very hard again as Kenny moved his lips up and down very gently, coating me with ample amounts of saliva. It was obvious what his intentions were. When he noticed I was awake he released my pole and smiled at me. "Time for you to do the work," he stated.
"Kenny," I protested, "I don't want to hurt you."
"Did I hurt you?" he challenged.
"A little, but it was a nice hurt, if that makes any sense. But I'm a little bigger than you, and your body is a little smaller "
"There isn't that much difference. Besides, I got your dick so slimy I think it'd go into a keyhole if you pushed hard enough." We both chuckled as Kenny rolled onto his back beside me. I knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer, and I wasn't real sure I wanted him to anyway. But I had a few plans of my own.
Instead of poking him with my finger, I rolled him over on his front and spread his gorgeous perfectly formed cheeks with my two hands, took a deep breath, and began running my tongue up and down his crack. "Ohhhhhhh!" he moaned, "That's incredible!" I agreed. From my perspective it was the most fantastic taste and sensation imaginable. I had been a little doubtful at first, thinking about what I was about to do; but once I got a taste of that crack I was hooked! When my tongue found its mark I pushed it and it entered. Kenny quivered and moaned loudly. My tongue slid in and out, reaching as far as it could, then out completely, then in again. I made sure he was good and wet with my saliva, then rolled him over on his back. "You ready?" I queried.
"Two months ago!" he replied breathlessly. I straddled his chest while he gave my cock another dose of his saliva, then I moved back between his legs, lifted them to my shoulders, and began to push myself into him.
After I felt myself in about an inch, I stopped when Kenny suddenly went rigid. "It's hurting, isn't it?"
"Yeah, a little," he grunted. "Just wait a sec, ok?" I waited, my eyes locked on his beautiful big brown ones, looking up at me like a trusting dog, ready for anything its master was inclined to do. I felt him relax again, then his head gave a very slight nod, and I began pushing again, very slowly. I went in about two inches, then retreated, in two and a half, back out, then three. Before long I had bottomed out. "That all of it?" he asked. I replied that it was. "Ok, let me just feel ya there for a minute, ok?" So we both stayed motionless, he lying on his back with his legs in the air, impaled by my raging boyhood, I on my knees looking down at his liquid eyes. There were tears in those eyes!
'It's hurting you isn't it?" I said with concern. I still didn't, couldn't move.
"Not really," he said as he started crying in earnest, "It's just... I just can't believe that it's finally happened, and it's so beautiful! You're all the way inside me! I feel so... so..."
"Warm?" I suggested.
"Yeah," he answered, "But it's a different warm, not like any warmth I ever felt before. You feel so huge inside me, as if my whole inside is filled with my Charlie." Of course I knew what he was feeling, I had just experienced the same thing. We stayed in that position for several more minutes, each relishing the feeling of our bodies coupled. When Kenny began gyrating his hips ever so slightly, I took his cue and began sliding in and out of him.
We both lasted a lot longer this time. Our first bone-rattling orgasm, plus the long rest before I started making love to him, worked together to delay the inevitable. But when I felt the wave of electricity flood my body and began to quiver, then emitted a loud "Ohhhhhh Jeeeeeesh!" Kenny responded by going over the edge with me. "Oh MAN!" he screamed, "Charlieeeeeeeeee!" It was as if it was the first time either one of us had ever cum in our lives. The intensity was paralyzing!
We had another short nap, completely spent and totally happy in each other's arms. When we awoke I began quizzing my lover. We knew there would be more sex, neither of us was ready to quit yet, but first it was time to talk.
"Where'd you learn all that stuff?" I asked.
"What stuff?" Kenny returned sleepily.
"You know, the shaving, the silk pj's, the gentle massage"
"Oh, that!" he chuckled. "Well, every swimmer knows about shaving down. They do it before important meets. They say it can take a couple seconds off their time."
"Yeah, I know," I answered, "It reduces drag in the water. But what does that have to do with..."
"It isn't the drag that makes the difference," he corrected, "It's that tingly feeling you get. Shaving takes all the dead skin off your body and leaves bare nerve endings on the skin. When you're swimming you can feel the water sliding over you and somehow that makes you go faster. I just thought it'd make you feel good, and it seemed to work."
"Man, did it!" I agreed. "And I suppose the silk just added to it?"
"Yeah, I got that idea from the silk warmup pants I sometimes wear when I get out of the pool. They always make me hard - the feel of them against my body."
"By the way," Kenny confessed, "They're not real silk, they're nylon. I tried to get real silk but they were so expensive I would've spent the next five years paying for them."
"Not a problem," I answered, "They seemed to do the job. Kinda like the ultimate experience for someone with an underwear fetish." We both laughed, then fell silent and kissed deeply, remembering that it was our common interest in underwear that had brought us together.
"So I take it you shave down quite often?" I asked.
"Yeah, too often. If you shave too much you lose some of the effect. But I like the feeling of being totally smooth. I don't really have much hair anyway, but I like it better when it's gone."
"What about pubic hair?" I asked, suspecting I already knew the answer.
"It's just starting," he said somewhat sheepishly, "But you might never see it. I don't like it!"
"It would help if you'd let it grow," I suggested. "Every time I see you naked I have guilt feelings about messing with someone who isn't even old enough to have crotch hair."
"Really?" he grinned at me, "Well you do a fine job of masking your guilty conscience. I'm not sure I'm ready for what you'd do to me if you didn't think I was a little kid." That remark earned him a poke in the ribs, and for the next few minutes we were both little kids, roughhousing and rolling on the bed, just completely at peace and loving being together.
"But what about your dad?" I asked with amazement, "Does he know all that's going on here?"
"Not really. He helped me find the cabin and get it rented. I did tell him we were gonna have a special party, just the two of us. I don't think I had to tell him any more, he's not stupid. He helped me get the pajamas and the massage lotion 'cause I had to send away for them, but that's all he knows. He trusts us, Charlie."
"US?" I echoed.
"Yeah, US! He told me the other day he's getting so he forgets that we're lovers. It's more like he's adopted another son."
"He's a really cool guy," I agreed. And then I went silent, thinking of just how very cool he was, considering everything he'd had to deal with because of me.
By the time we left the cabin Saturday afternoon, we were totally exhausted and completely happy. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times we'd coupled one way or another. My butt was slightly sore, but with a feeling of fulfillment that I can only describe as "glowing." Kenny said he felt the same way. We had performed other experiments, such as sucking our own semen out of the receptacle where we'd deposited it, making love with the tops of our silk pj's on, all sorts of demented things. Most important, we both knew that our love would last forever, even if we never had sex again. It was a feeling of euphoria, of complete contentment.
To say we didn't indulge in anal sex after that would be a barefaced lie! But we did restrain ourselves in consideration for our bodies, at least while they were still growing. We didn't know if it were true or not, but nurses at the hospital had told us that they could always tell in the OR when someone was in the habit of having anal sex because as soon as they were under anaesthetic, their anus would fall open, often releasing its contents. We were both very determined to retain our muscle tone, including sphincter muscles, so anal sex, as much as we enjoyed it, was reserved for special occasions. Of course restricting ourselves this way made it all the more special when it did happen.
I got to thinking on the way home from the cabins, that society comes up with some pretty hurtful words for concepts or things they don't understand or agree with. Words like Queer, Faggot, Homo; things like Ass, Butt, Shithole, Cocksucker. Even words like "fuck" did not do justice to the act it defines, at least in my experience. The homosexual community, of which I knew now I was a part, had countered with more pleasant words like "Gay," but that was still not in wide use. I wracked my brain trying to think of a socially accepted way to describe what had happened between Kenny and me all weekend, but there were none. So I decided that if we couldn't describe it without making it sound dirty and demented, we would just be content with calling it "The weekend at the fishing camp."
When I finally got home Sunday night, my dad was in one of his moods. He'd been drinking, and I knew from personal experience that booze helped intensify his temper.
"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded.
"At Kenny's," I responded simply.
"The hell you were!" he flared, "I called there three times and you were never there. Bob told me you'd gone away for a few days. Where did you go?' I was starting to get a little angry, but I managed to keep my cool. I had often received some pretty severe beatings when he was in a mood like that, if I didn't show him the sort of respect he thought he was entitled to. "We went to Smith's Falls," I said truthfully, "To a fishing camp." well, that was the wrong thing to say.
"Too bad you can find time to go off fishing with Kenny, but you never go with me." Understandably he assumed that we'd been fishing.
"I never got the feeling I was welcome." I countered
WHAM! I spent the next few seconds clearing my head and picking myself up off the floor where I'd landed after a cop's backhand had split my lip and sent me reeling across the room and against the wall. I was blind with rage and hurting, but I determined I wouldn't cry, wouldn't back down. Dad was into power and control, and I simply had to live with that.
"Your Uncle Brad called Friday night," Dad went on as if nothing had happened, "wanting to know if you could come up and help for a few weeks. I've been trying to get in touch with you ever since."
"But I've got work at the hospital," I reminded him.
"Working with that bunch of queers!" he countered, "And making lousy wages to boot. Maybe you didn't hear me, I said Brad NEEDS you! I would think you'd jump at the chance to do something worthwhile." I didn't even try to tell him that orderlies ARE important and needed, and as much as the word QUEER hurt, I let it go and went to the phone.
Uncle Brad was my dad's brother, but as different as it is possible to be. Ever since I can remember I'd been spending my summers on the farm, doing everything I could to make him my dad. I adored him, and he loved me. As I got older I became the machine operator of choice on Uncle Brad's farm. I don't know why nor how, but I had always had a sort of affinity with any kind of machine. By the time I was 12 I could bale more hay per hour, plow more land, go through more mud without getting stuck than anyone I knew. When I climbed up on that John Deere it was as if we became one. I had learned to drive there, piloting an old 3-ton truck all over the countryside. What farm boy hasn't driven all over creation long before he was eligible for a license? Please don't think I'm bragging because I had nothing to do with it. That's simply a talent that God gave me, and I put it to good use every summer. Uncle Brad had come to the point that he depended on me, even having tried to persuade me to leave home and live with him after things had got really bad. I suspect if my mom hadn't been alive I would have seriously considered it. But under the circumstances I didn't.
"Well, what did he say?" Dad demanded when I got off the phone. I noticed that his mood hadn't improved much.
"He's having trouble getting the hay in," I answered, "They get a fine day but before they can get it cut and baled it's raining again. He said," I added with a grin, "That no one could fly through a field like I could, and he really needed to get that hay in before the end of July."
"So what did you tell him?"
"I told him I had basically two problems. I had to get out of work somehow, and I had to talk to Kenny.
"Kenny!" he roared, "What in the living holy hell does Kenny have to do with it? Why do you have to consult with him?"
"Because," I answered as my heart leaped to my throat, "Because Kenny and I... uh.... Dad, Kenny and I are more than just friends. We're lovers, Dad. We can't stand to be apart."
Well, I thought I'd seen some pretty king-sized rages over the years, but nothing compared with that one. I knew this was neither the time nor the place to make my announcement, but I was so angry, so tired of living a lie. So now it was out, and I was on the floor again, this time with a nosebleed.
At that moment Ellen, my illustrious step-mother added her two cents worth. "I knew there was something wrong with that kid," she said knowingly, "He's just too nice, too polite, to be normal." I didn't answer, but just gave her a look that I hoped said 'stay out of it, bitch! You're not my mom and you're not a part of this.' I think I succeeded because she shut up and eventually left the room.
"So you're telling me," Dad raged, "That you and he are queer? And you do all those disgusting things together? Christ! He's turned you into a common faggot whore!" Ok, thanks Dad, now I was mad enough to defend myself.
"How can you stand there and accuse me?" I demanded, "You pack my mom, YOUR WIFE, off to a nursing home so you can have your girl friend move in with you? Now you don't have to drive across town to get fucked. What kind of influence is that on your innocent little boy?"
He made another swing, but thankfully I ducked this one. If it had connected it would probably have knocked my head clear off!
"Well," I screamed, "I'm not near as innocent as you think, no thanks to you. Where do you think I learned about sex, from listening to the refrigerator hum? I certainly didn't learn it from you. Go ahead, tell me that my loving one person, being faithful to him and caring about him is any worse than what you did!"
I had always been told that I was exactly like my mother: kind, considerate, gentle. I was proud of that, but I carry my father's genes too, and during this confrontation his genes went into high gear. Dad had never seen me like this before; I had never even seen myself like this, so I was on a roll and I didn't quit! All the frustrations, the fears and doubts, came tumbling out. Dad just stood there, his eyes wild with... well, with fury, but something else too. He saw something in my eyes, in my demeanor, the he wasn't real anxious to deal with.
"Don't ever get sick, Ellen," I yelled, "If he can't get his regular jollies from you he'll find some other bimbo and you'll find yourself on the street again where you belong! But I'm the sinner because I love the sweetest boy on the face of the earth!"
This time he didn't miss. As I hit the floor he was on top of me, punching my face to a pulp, yelling about how I couldn't talk to her like that. I was as shocked as he was, hearing myself say the things I'd kept to myself for so long. I got ready to knee him in the nuts, but I remembered my mom and how she had handled his rages. She had simply avoided him, tried to make peace. Well, I wasn't about to make peace, but she had taught me well: I could not strike my father, even to defend myself! Somehow I managed to get out from under him and scramble to safety across the room.
"That's it!" I screamed, "You just beat on me for the last time. I'm not gonna take it any more."
"I'll decide when I'm gonna stop beating you, you rotten little faggot!" he bellowed as he lunged for me again. I side-stepped and he missed and fell to the floor himself. To this day don't know how I managed to avoid him. My eyes were blurred and almost closed with the blood, sweat, and tears in them. Yeah, I know, there was a rock group by that name. I have always wondered how they got their name.
"I think you'd better go," Ellen advised, "Until you both calm down a bit."
"Go where?" I spit out at her, "This is my fuckin' home! I have a right to be here! What's your excuse?"
"Correction," Dad said as he again came for me, "This is MY home, and your living here is merely a privilege I have granted you. But after tonight you may have ruined the best part of your life!"
"Best? BEST?" I countered. "Well, if this is as good as life gets, then I guess I'm happy Mom is where she is now. But you're NOT gonna kill me! Whether you like it or not, I'm gonna survive! I'm gonna go to college and be an engineer and then I'm gonna rub your nose in it! You think I need you? Well I thought so too till now. Now I know I don't need you and your kind! I don't fit your mold so you beat the snot outa me and kick me out. You can do that, but you can't beat my spirit. And I'm gonna love my BOY FRIEND! My lover KENNY! Bye, Dad, I love you, even if I wish I didn't."
I went to my room and packed a bag with some of my favorite clothes. It was more for effect than necessity, because most of my best clothes were at the Collins home anyway.
"Call him tomorrow," Ellen suggested as she came into my room, "After you've both calmed down you can talk it out."
"There's nothing to talk out!" I said, tears still blinding my eyes, "And besides, who appointed you my guardian angel? And what part of FUCK OFF don't you understand?" She opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again. Perhaps she saw some of my dad in the venom in my eyes. At that moment I think I was capable of doing her physical harm. Here was the woman who had wrecked my home, and in my mind killed my mother, giving me advice? I DON'T THINK SO!" She turned and left, and I finished packing and left without further incident.
"Holy sweet fuckin' shit!" Kenny exclaimed when he answered my knock, "What the heck happened to you? DAD! MOM!," he called, "It's Charlie! He's.... he's all beat to hell!" Mr. And Mrs Collins arrived and Kenny, confident that I was in good hands, dropped to the floor and sobbed.
If you like this story or have any comments or criticisms, please e-mail them to charlieje@mindspring.com. When I started this project I never dreamed it would get so long; but the more I type, the more I remember, the more I feel needs to be said. And to all who are patient enough to read it, a very hearty THANK YOU! It's very therapeutic to write down your feelings and experiences, especially when there are kind readers. Thanks again!