Kevin & Justin - Chapter 12 Kevin & Justin
Peter Kamphuis (rh_chan@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer:
All the usual disclaimers apply: please stop reading if you are underage or homophobic. Please note that this is a work of fiction - nothing is being implied about the sexuality of any of the people portrayed below.
Author's Notes:
I never want to go through another five weeks like the last five! I've thought and thought and thought about what I want to do with this story, but I haven't been able to disuade myself from continuing it 'as is'. I know this is going to disappoint a lot of people, but it can't be helped. Not only have I already written the next 6 chapters (most were written before I went 'on hiatus'), but I also haven't been able to think of a suitable replacement plot which would get Kev and Just together quickly without it feeling somewhat 'forced'. So, with that in mind, you'll get the next 2 to 6 chapters as they were written. I might do some heavy editing, especially of the later chapters, but essentially the storyline won't change. I am working to a plot after all...
What does this all mean?
Well, for those of you who are used to, and like(?), the angst in the story, you will get more of the same - at least for the next 2 to 4 chapters.
For those who hate the angst, or hate the extra-curricular scenes (i.e. scenes not involving the main characters), or hate not seeing any sex, then I'd suggest you bail out now! You'll save yourselves a lot of disappointment that way...
Oh well, now that I've managed to lose a good percentage of my readership, I guess it's time to continue the story. This is for those of you who want to see how it all ends up...
Oh, one last thing... the next 6 chapters may have already been written, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they'll be posted quickly - I still want to make sure they're QA'd before they go to David. And with the later chapters - as already mentioned - there may be some major rewrites occuring. Please be patient. Thanks.
Previously...
Kevin and Brian lie to everyone about Kevin's health and well-being, to cover up their tardiness in getting to the stadium for rehearsals. Everyone is relieved to see that Kevin is starting to feel better, not realising that there is nothing physically wrong with him. He gets cleared by Fatima and joins in the rehearsals.
After the rehearsals, the boys attend a joint 'meet-n-greet'. Kevin and Justin wind up sitting next to each other, but seem to be able handle the 'closeness' well. This is followed by an interview at a radio station, where once again, they survive being in close proximity to one another.
They have some free time after the interview to do whatever they'd like. Brian, Howie and Justin are all feeling the effects of their lack of sleep, and decide to head back to the bus to rest. Kevin reluctantly joins them, once Brian reminds him that he's supposed to be playing the part of a convalescent. JC has to then step in and announce that he'll head back with them as well, knowing that Justin won't be able to handle being alone with Kev without his support.
Once in the limo, everyone becomes silent. Neither pair can talk with the other pair there, and Howie is oblivious to both pairs' silence. The tension builds, until Justin can't take it anymore. JC senses this and discreetly moves to hold Justin's hand in reassurance. He's surprised to see that the action was not discreet enough - both Kevin and Brian have noticed it. However, they don't appear surprised or shocked, and JC finally admits to himself that they must know about Justin being gay.
When they reach the stadium, Howie and Brian board the bus. JC manages to excuse himself and Justin from Kevin, and once in the privacy of the stadium's dressing room, relates what he has discovered. Justin finally accepts that Kevin knows. They head back to the bus and board.
In the meantime, Kevin has had another 'discussion' with Brian (who is still barely awake), and sends his cousin to bed. He lies down on his own bunk and closes his eyes - pretending to be asleep. He hears JC and Justin board. They come to stand over him and JC mentions how he hopes that Kevin gets better. Justin thanks his friend and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Kevin is unable to see this, and assumes the worst - his heart breaking even more at this further torturous revelation of their 'relationship'. He turns to his side, to cover his tears from view. The guys soon depart to their own beds.
Kevin, after having unintentionally fallen asleep from crying, is woken by Brian. Brian notices that something has happened and queries Kevin. Kevin admits to his cousin that it is now all over. He has to move on with his life... without Justin in it...
Kevin & Justin - Chapter 12
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Several months later:
It was the final day of their joint tour.
Their last concert was over, and it had been a resounding success, like all the others. The day following it, they had spent some time relaxing before concluding a pretty gruelling press conference. They had answered a lot of the usual 'same old same old' questions, but thrown in here and there, were a couple of intelligent and interesting questions. No one realised, however, that this was because of a quick word that Kevin had had with their management teams just after their first concert. No one, with the exception of Kevin and the reporters asking those questions, knew that 'management' had faxed the questions to them.
Now, on the second day after their final concert, they were heading off in totally different directions. The 'N Sync guys were heading back to Orlando for a short break before heading back to the studio. Their flight was scheduled to leave in a couple of hours. The Backstreet Boys' flight was only minutes away from being announced. They were heading over to Europe to continue the tour alone.
They all sat or stood around the VIP lounge of the airport, unsure of what to say to each other now that they were about to split up. It seemed so strange to contemplate that the next day they'd wake up and find that half of them would not be there.
At that moment, into the heavy silence of the room, the tannoy announced the boarding call for BSB's flight like a death-knell.
Kevin couldn't help himself from reacting. His eyes snapped up and around to seek Justin's and remained fixed there for several long seconds. Justin, in turn, returned his gaze, silently miserable at the thought of his angel departing from his life at any moment.
Without conscious thought they suddenly found themselves walking towards each other and embraced fiercely, both fighting to hold back their tears.
As if this was a release, the others found themselves doing the same thing. A.J. and Chris hugged each other, feeling dejected that they'd soon be parted. They had become the best of friends over the months of their tour. Almost as good as Kevin and Justin. Nick, Brian and Howie hugged Lance, JC and Joey before turning to hug Chris. A.J. in turn hugged Lance, JC and Joey, feeling his eyes becoming moist at the thought of not seeing the guys again, even though both bands were based in Orlando.
No one was able to get up the courage to intrude on Kevin's and Justin's hug. There was something so magical, so overpowering in their embrace that made the others feel as if they were intruding, even by just being there.
As the tannoy broadcast the final boarding call for BSB's flight, Kevin and Justin parted, wiping away the tears that they had been unsuccessful in stopping.
"'Bye, Kevin," Justin said softly.
"'Bye, Justin," Kevin responded equally softly. Then turning away so that his composure wouldn't leave him completely, he walked over to the other members of 'N Sync and grabbed them in a collective hug.
Justin, though reluctant to leave Kevin's side, did the same with the other members of BSB.
They all finally parted and the Backstreet Boys made their exit from the lounge, calling out their final goodbyes to the 'N Sync guys. Kevin, the last one through the door, looked back over his shoulder at Justin, trying to memorise the face of his 'love', even though he knew he had already memorised it countless times before. His nightly dreams (and even his nightmares) could attest to that.
Goodbye, Curly. I love you, he silently said, stepping outside and letting the door close behind him.
In turn, Justin looked at Kevin until he disappeared from sight. Then the tears which had been threatening to flow started pouring out of his eyes as he collapsed into his seat in grief.
Goodbye, Boo. I love you.
Kevin felt as if his life had just ended. It was a painful chore to just move himself through the gate to the air-bridge and the plane waiting beyond.
Once aboard, he sat down numbly in his seat and stared out of the window to the terminal building, at the last place he had seen his love. His tears flowed without any hindrance.
Brian and Nick were seated in the row behind Kevin, and A.J. and Howie were seated behind them. As they were an odd number, Kevin usually got an empty seat next to himself during most flights. This time however, he wasn't going to remain alone.
He looked up at a movement next to his seat, and saw Brian looking down at him. The expression on Brian's face told him how much his cousin understood and sympathised with his feelings.
Brian didn't bother asking if he wanted company. He just sat down and reached over to gather Kevin into a hug. He placed Kevin's head against his shoulder and let his shirt absorb the tears, as Kevin started to fall apart. He could do nothing to stop his own tears from falling. The hurt he felt for his cousin's well-being was trivial compared to the pain that Kevin was in.
He'd known that this moment would come, even before Kevin had decided to remain 'just friends' with Justin. Brian was the only one who could see beyond the surface to Kevin's true feelings. He had seen how much Kevin still loved Justin, despite the many times Kevin had denied it; vociferously at times. He had seen the joy and sadness that haunted Kevin's eyes as he spent time with, and apart from, his soulmate. He had seen each stab of pain that was inflicted on Kevin's heart when he did anything with Justin. Each talk that they'd had ended up hurting Kevin. Each time they'd sat next to each other at a function, or a restaurant, had ended up hurting Kevin. Each outing with the 'N Sync guys, where Justin was present, had also ended up hurting Kevin...
But, what was worse, was that Kevin seemed to invite the pain in. No matter how much pain he had felt the previous time, he jumped at the chance to spend time with Justin. It had gotten to the point where Brian couldn't stand to be in the same room with the two of them. Each piece of new pain that was inflicted on Kevin, caused his own heart to hurt in sympathy. He had spent the whole tour watching his cousin become more and more pained. But, at the same time, he had also watched Kevin work himself into a frenzy to remain Justin's friend; to remain close to his 'angel'. The energy that Kevin had expended to cover his feelings from everyone, especially Justin, was truly overwhelming.
He still didn't know how Kevin could live with all the pain. Brian was almost driven to despair with the feelings he was experiencing for his cousin, and they were a pale echo of the feelings that were churning inside Kevin.
It was not surprising, therefore, that Kevin's spirit would be shattered when he finally parted from Justin.
Brian remained with his cousin, taking care of him throughout the long flight. He made sure that Kevin was buckled in. He made sure that he and Kevin drank water every so often, ensuring that their bodies didn't become dehydrated due to the loss of fluids from their tears. He especially made sure that Kevin felt secure and supported.
He didn't release his cousin, even when he felt Kevin drop off into an exhausted sleep several hours later.
Try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from crying at the devastating loss Kevin had just been dealt.
JC felt an alarm go off inside him -- Justin's breakdown would cause a lot of unwanted attention from their bandmates.
He was about to sit down and comfort Justin, whilst furiously thinking of a way to deflect the questions he was certain were going to be asked, when Chris spoke.
"You really love him, don't you, Curly?" Chris's voice was soft and gentle, his love and concern clearly evident.
JC felt a sense of shock course through his body at Chris's words. Chris knew! And he had just blurted out the secret in front of the others!
He was unprepared for the looks on Lance's and Joey's faces. They weren't shocked at Chris's words. They were almost in tears as they gazed lovingly down at the distraught figure of Justin. They all knew!
Justin was too overwhelmed to even consider that the others knew his secret. He just nodded as he tried to say, "Y-y-yes."
"Oh Curly," Chris sighed as he dropped down in front of Justin and gathered him into a hug. He didn't mind in the least when Justin held him tightly and cried out his pain into his shoulder. He could do nothing to ease Justin's pain, other than to help him with all his might. His own eyes were overflowing at the painful sobs emanating from Justin.
Lance and Joey also knelt down and hugged Justin, giving him their unconditional support.
JC could only stare, as his friends cried and tried to comfort Justin. He collapsed into his own seat and tried to make sense of everything, all the time echoing Justin's tears. He was going crazy at the sense of loss he could feel Justin going through.
Lance got up and came over to JC. He dropped down in front of him and embraced him, just as Chris had done with Justin.
"Let it all out, Josh. Let it all go. You're in as much pain as Justin. It's not good keeping it all bottled up inside."
JC let his tears flow onto Lance's shoulder, trying to seek relief from the pain within his heart and the added pain he was feeling from Justin's crying. He knew he was trembling almost as much as Justin was, and was surprised to feel that Lance was shaking as well.
After what seemed like hours, though in reality was only several minutes, he felt somewhat calmer. He disengaged from Lance's embrace and looked across at the others. Justin was still crying, though now the tears were silently falling from his closed eyes. Chris and Joey had swapped places, and Justin was now being held tightly by Joey.
He turned back to look at Lance and was surprised to see that Lance was still crying as he looked across at the others.
"You knew," JC stated simply.
Lance turned to look at him. He simply nodded his head.
"How?"
Lance shrugged his shoulders non-committally. "Joey. He was the first to suspect. But at the time he thought that maybe Justin and you were the 'couple'." He noted the surprised look on JC's face, before JC composed his features and started wiping away the remnants of his tears. "Well, he would see the two of you go off alone for long periods of time and he thought that you two 'lovebirds' wanted to be alone. But then he started to notice that you two always seemed to disappear when Curly appeared to be upset about something."
He could see JC taking this in and continued. "When he also started noticing that the two of you looked as if you'd been crying when you got back from your time alone, he began to wonder why that was? It wasn't hard to work out that the two of you couldn't have been disappearing for any 'intimate' reasons. So that left only one other option: you were comforting each other. Or rather, you were comforting Justin, as it always seemed to be Justin who was upset when you'd both disappear."
He could see that JC was starting to comprehend.
"Well, he didn't know why Justin was becoming upset, until he happened to talk to Chris." Once again, JC's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Chris had noticed that Justin always seemed to become 'down' after spending time with Kevin, or after talking to him. He was actually quite upset at this, as he thought that Kevin was deliberately hurting Curly, even though they seemed to get on so well together. After all, they seemed to be the best of friends, so why would Kevin be hurting Justin?
"But when Chris decided to approach Kevin about it, he bumped into A.J. He confessed his concerns to A.J., not knowing at the time that Justin loved Kevin. A.J. then let it slip that he knew the reason why Justin was upset, and told Chris the reason why."
JC slowly nodded, realising that A.J. must have figured it out right from the start. Probably during that night that he had walked into Kevin's and Justin's hotel room and had seen Curly crying over Kevin's sleeping form...
He returned his attention to Lance, who hadn't finished speaking. "When Chris and Joey had their talk, they put two and two together. Now they both knew that Justin loved Kevin, but Kevin didn't love him back. It wasn't very hard to see how much this affected Justin. Joey had already seen how upset Justin got when the two of you disappeared all the time, so he knew that Justin was really hurting. They suspected that you knew all about this, as Justin seemed to be confiding in you, but didn't know how to approach either of you.
"So they came to see me instead."
"Why?" JC asked coldly, feeling angry with them despite himself.
"Joshua, don't be like that! They didn't come to me just so that we could 'gossip' about it. They were really worried! They could both see how much pain Justin was in. Even I could sense it, though I didn't know what was behind it all. So they talked to me about their worries for him..."
Lance looked back across to Justin, who was lost in his own painful world. The tears were still flowing unabated, though Chris and Joey had settled down significantly. They were looking back at Lance and JC, obviously taking in their conversation. At least, Chris was looking back at them. Joey wasn't able to turn his head too far around, as he couldn't - and didn't want to - disengage from Justin's embrace.
"We're not blind Josh. We all knew something was bothering Justin. At times he appeared like his normal self, but at other times it was like his spirit had completely disappeared. Even before A.J. 'spilled the beans', we sort of guessed that it was something like this. We just weren't aware of who he was in love with, nor how much!
"And even if we hadn't know before, after what we just saw now we would have easily guessed. The way they were hugging each other..." Lance choked up at the image of Kevin and Justin hugging each other - it was like they knew they'd lose part of themselves when they separated.
He wasn't surprised to see that JC and the others had tears in their eyes again. The scene had gotten to them all.
"What happens now?"
The four of them turned, surprised to hear Justin's voice, and appalled at how 'dead' it sounded.
"What do you mean Curly?" Chris asked.
"Am I going to be kicked out of the group?" Justin had overheard everything, but he was too numb to take in the meanings. He just knew that the others were aware of his sexuality now, and he didn't care if they decided to throw him out anymore. It wouldn't hurt. Nothing would hurt as much as losing Kevin.
"No!" Chris cried. He pushed Joey away from Justin's embrace and hugged Justin fiercely. "No, Curly. We'll never do that. Don't you know how much we love you?" His voice cracked and he started crying.
Justin buried his head into Chris's shoulder and wept again. It was a relief to know that his friends accepted and loved him, but the one person he cared most about in the world was lost to him forever.
"Oh Boo," he painfully whispered.
His friends closed their eyes in despair as their tears started flowing again. They couldn't bear to hear the pain and love in his voice.
Nick couldn't bear to hear the agonising sobbing coming from the seat in front. Kevin's pain was so overwhelming that he thought he'd go crazy with worry. Brian was with him, trying to comfort him, so he couldn't intrude, no matter how much he wanted to.
His only recourse was to put on the headphones that the stewardess had given him when he'd boarded, plug them into the plane's audio system, and to turn up the volume to the highest setting he could stand. Even then, though he tried to lose himself in the music, he could sometimes make out a sound coming from the row in front and closed his eyes in pain.
Somehow, he'd find out what, or whom, was causing Kevin all this pain! And then he'd do everything within his power to eradicate it! That was a promise he was determined to keep!
It was rather ironic, though completely lost on him, that the music changed at that moment and he recognised the start of their song: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely.
By the time the tannoy announced the first boarding call for their flight to Orlando, the 'N Sync guys had managed to settle themselves down.
Lance looked over at Justin and decided it was time to broach a painful subject. He'd rather not do it, but what with their imminent return to Orlando, there was no 'better' time to do it.
"Curly, what are you going to tell your parents?"
"What?" Justin asked in surprise, turning to look at Lance in confusion.
"About Kevin and your feelings for him. And the fact that you're gay," Lance answered softly.
Justin thought for a moment, his mind unprepared for this so soon after losing Kevin. "I don't know, Scoop. I don't think I can say anything. Do I have to?"
Lance looked at the others and could see that they were supporting him. Of course, they had all discussed this before, with the exception of JC and Justin...
"Yes, Curly, I think you do. Even though you and Kevin-" he paused unsure of how to proceed. "Even though nothing happened between you two, you still love him, and you're still hurting inside. Your parents will notice that straight away and will want to know why."
Justin could feel himself losing control again. "I don't think I can do it, Scoop. It's just too soon. I don't want to talk about... him... to my parents. Especially if they don't accept my sexuality."
"I understand that, Justin, really I do. But won't it be better to get this off your chest straight away? You know how determined Lyn can be. If she notices how much pain you're in, she won't stop until she knows the reason why. That's something I don't think you should subject yourself to."
Justin shook his head absently, knowing deep down that Lance was right, but unable to agree with him.
"At least think about it while we're heading home, okay?" This time it was Joey who spoke.
Justin dried the remnants of his tears from his face and looked at Joey. "Okay, I'll think about it. But I'm not promising anything."
The tannoy announced the final boarding call for their flight.
They got up and gathered their belongings. On the way out of the lounge, JC and Chris stepped to either side of Justin and wrapped their arms over his shoulders, squeezing to show their love and support for him. He smiled for the first time that day, and his friends didn't mind in the least that it was so tentative.
By the time their plane had touched down in Orlando, Justin had thought things through and had decided that he couldn't say anything to his parents and step-parents. He was particularly concerned about their reaction to his sexuality, but mostly he didn't want to talk to them about Kevin. The hurt he was feeling was just too painful for him to consider talking about it.
The others could sense his decision as they saw him compose his face and try to wipe all traces of pain and grief from his features. They all sighed inwardly, knowing that it was not the best way to deal with this, but unable to confront him with it. He required their support more than their lectures...
They walked out into the lounge, after making sure that they were the last to leave and that no fans were waiting for them.
Lyn was there, as they'd half-expected, patiently waiting for them. As she saw the puffiness in her son's eyes, her expression changed from welcoming to concerned.
Justin took one look at his mother and the concern showing in her eyes, and lost control. He dropped his carry-on bag as his nerveless fingers suddenly lost their strength, and his knees gave way. He was crying before his knees touched the ground.
"Justin!" All four of his friends cried out at once.
"Baby!" His mother's voice rose above them all. She ran to her son and knelt down in front of him. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, as she started crying. What had happened to her child? She looked around at the concerned faces looking down at them, and could see that the others were also upset at Justin's breakdown.
Justin wasn't saying a thing. He couldn't. He didn't have enough oxygen to breathe, let alone cry. His body had finally had enough - it closed down. He suddenly went limp in Lyn's arms as he lost consciousness.
"What's happening?" she cried out to the four concerned figures surrounding her and Justin.
"I'm sorry Lyn, but we can't say anything. We promised Justin. It's up to him to tell you," Lance said softly, after a brief hesitant glance at the others.
"Here, let me carry him to the car," JC said, as he bent down and reached for Justin.
"No!" Lyn cried quickly. "Don't touch him!"
JC withdrew his hands, surprise showing on his face, perfectly matched on the faces of his bandmates.
"I'm not leaving here until I know why Justin was crying and why he collapsed!"
"Lyn," Chris said softly, trying by tone of voice to reassure her, "We need to either get him home, or to a doctor. We can't just leave him lying here. Besides, people are starting to notice."
She looked around and saw that people were starting to gather. She hated to drop the matter like this, but she had to think of her son first. Chris was right; Justin needed to be put to bed.
She looked back at JC and nodded curtly.
He reached out once again and gathered Justin into his arms. He rose carefully, making sure that Justin's head was supported by his upper arm. In the background, Lance reached down to pick up Justin's overnight bag from where it had fallen, and then gathered up JC's bag as well.
They made their way to the airport's entrance. Waiting for them was a limousine and nearby was Lyn's car. Knowing that Lyn was in no condition to drive, Joey spoke up.
"Lyn, why don't you and Justin get in the limo and go on ahead? We'll follow in your car."
Lyn smiled gratefully at Joey and dug out her car keys. "Thank you, Joseph. I'll see you all back at the house."
She got into the back of the limo. JC bent down and got in partway so that he could gently release Justin onto the back seat and into his mother's lap.
"Thanks Joshua," she quietly said, as she reached up and touched him briefly on the cheek, adroitly apologising for snapping at him earlier. He weakly grinned back at her before hurriedly exiting. It wouldn't do for her to see him lose his composure.
The driver closed the door and turned to face them. Lance quickly gave him the street address for Lyn's house and almost pushed him into the driver's seat in his haste.
They walked back into the terminal building and located their luggage. It was going to be a tight squeeze, but they'd find some way to put it all in her car, and get in themselves.
Justin came round slowly. He was confused about where he was, his surroundings didn't look familiar. "Boo?"
"Justin?" his mother said, coming into his field of vision. Her expression showed the relief she felt at seeing him 'revive'. It had taken him a long time to come around. They were only minutes away from reaching home.
Justin looked at her and immediately recalled what had happened. He broke down again, turning away from her and crying into his hands.
"Justin? Honey, what's wrong? Please tell me," she asked in a choked voice, her hands caressing his hair and forehead.
"I can't!" he responded, gasping it out.
"Please sweetheart," she pleaded.
He continued to cry but knew that he was also hurting his mother by not telling her his problem. But how could he? He wasn't ready to discuss Kevin, let alone that he was gay.
"Honey? Please?" she asked, her whispered voice sounding on the verge of breaking.
"Mom, I..." He paused, before continuing in a barely audible whisper. "I'm in love with someone."
That was all he could manage. He couldn't bring himself to say anything more.
Lyn tensed for a second at the shock she felt. Then she relaxed. Well, that was wonderful news, wasn't it? She looked back down into the mournful expression on her son's face and knew that it couldn't be that simple.
Justin was grieving. Pure and simple. This wasn't a sign of a person who was in love. Or if he was in love, then it signalled something else. She suddenly realised why he would be this upset. His affections hadn't been returned! And from the strength of his pain, she could tell that he had been deeply hurt by this.
"Oh sweetheart," she sighed softly. "You're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, aren't you?"
"Y-yes," he managed to say, before starting to sob quietly.
"Why that ungrateful bastard!" she said with sudden heat. "Where does he get off hurting you like this?"
Justin stopped in mid-sob. His mother had said 'he'! Somehow, she knew!
"What?" he asked in sudden fear.
"Joshua! How could he do this to you?"
Justin was stunned. Not only did his mother know that he was gay, but she had misconstrued with whom he had fallen in love with.
"No!" he managed to cry out before she could say anything else. "No, you don't understand! I don't love JC, and he doesn't love me! At least not in that way."
Her eyes narrowed. "Oh." She paused. "Is it one of the others?"
"No, Mom. It isn't anyone in my group. It's someone else. And I love him too much to hear you say anything bad about him."
Again, he turned away from her and silently cried.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I was just so certain that you were in love with Joshua that I guess I misunderstood. Please forgive me?"
Justin nodded his head, before turning to look up at her. "How long have you known about me?" he asked softly.
"For a long time sweetie, a long time. Your father, your step-father and your step-mother also know. We all support you, honey. We love you." She noticed the sudden tightness around his eyes disappear once he'd been reassured that everyone still supported and loved him. "And once I'd adjusted to the idea that you were gay, I started to hope that you and Josh would get together."
"I couldn't Mom. Even if JC were gay, I wouldn't be able to... love... him that way. He's too much like a brother!"
"Yes, I sort of gathered that you'd feel like that. Still, you can't blame me for hoping!" She smiled down at her son, hoping to make his sadness disappear with the light tone in her teasing.
He smiled weakly. "No, I guess I can't blame you. And I love you so much for accepting me."
"I love you too sweetie, and nothing's going to change that," she responded.
Justin sat up and hugged his mother with all his might. She was such a wonderful woman.
"Justin, honey, can I ask about him?"
Justin could hear the slight emphasis on 'him' and knew she wanted to know more about Kevin. "I don't know, Mom. It's still too painful to think about him," he replied.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," she said, pulling out of the hug and reaching up to dry his eyes.
"No, don't be, Mom. It hurts, but I'm not sorry about loving him. He's so wonderful. The way he treats me, the way he seems to listen to me - really listen to me, and the way he smiles at me in that special way of his. He makes me feel good. He makes me feel so special! I can't help loving him. For a while I thought he loved me as well, but it wasn't to be. He only loves me as a friend. A good friend." His eyes started to overflow.
Lyn embraced him again, hoping that he could feel her pride and love for him. She wanted so much to remove the hurt from within his heart!
"I love him now as much as I did the first day I saw him -- maybe even more. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him!" Justin buried his face in his mother's shoulder.
Lyn couldn't stop herself from crying. From the moment she had come to accept her son's sexuality, she had prayed that he would find someone special to be with. Unlike straight men, gay men seemed to find it harder to find real love with someone. In Justin's case, it looked like he had found that one special person, his soulmate, but by some cruel twist of fate he had still ended up being alone.
She cried at the loss she could feel in Justin: her son's one true chance for happiness had disappeared: cruelly.
Neither of them heard the limousine door open. Neither of them heard it close a few moments later as the driver decided to leave them alone.
End - Chapter 12
Email (whether good or bad) can be directed to: rh_chan@hotmail.com. Please let me know what you think of this chapter.
For a change of pace (and to read something else I've written which isn't even a bit angst-y), check out 'Strange Interlude' in the boy-bands section. Mike Ellis (of 'Studio in the Country' fame) wrote part 1. I wrote part 2 - mostly because I'd felt compelled to. And Billy Burrew (of 'X-treme N Sync' fame) wrote part 3. Hopefully there'll be a lot more chapters written (all by different authors) before that storyline ends.
One last bit of thanks - even though it's extremely belated - is for all of you who voted for Kevin&Justin in the BoyBand awards. Many thanks for that, and even though I didn't win an award, I'm still pleased that I got a mention! :) Congratulations to the winners, not only in the categories that my story was voted for, but also in all other categories. There's a lot of talent out there!