'What a find,' I thought to myself, as I walked away into the darkness, leaving my new boy toy in the car wondering what to do next. 'And to think, I thought he was gonna punch me out the second I told him that shirt looked nice.'
He honestly looked like that sort of guy. You know the type... Straighter then an arrow, Stronger then an ox. I had to struggle to keep myself from ripping his clothes off right there in the alley and licking every square inch of his ripped bod. Talk about an absolutely fabulous turn of events though. Not only was he gay... but he was fresh meat. Ugh!
I continued to stride through the sand until I came to the waters edge. The moon's reflection flickering across the waves was almost hypnotic. A car door slammed in the distance.
"Yes!" I exclaimed in a whisper. He was mine. Hook, line, and sinker.
Even through the wind off the ocean I could hear him trudging towards me. I waited and listened for his arrival, my breath barely escaping my lips so to not make a noise. Then there he was, just like I had left him. Stunningly gorgeous from head to toe. He stood next to me and looked out into the ocean as well.
Turning to face him, I said "I'm Robby by the way." He slid his feet through the sand, then looked up with the biggest grin imaginable.
"Yeah, by the way" he chuckled, outstretched his hand, and said "I'm Matt"
I wrapped my arms around his waist and embraced him tightly. He was a couple inches taller then me, and I could feel his breath in my hair. We held each other so tight, I couldn't help but feel that we were brothers or something. He let go, and pushed me back far enough to look into my eyes. I melted.
"I don't know what to say... that back there; what happened in the car.. it was incredible!", In the moonlight I could just make out the blush that was developing in his cheeks.
"Yeah, it was awesome." I responded, not sure whether he was through talking.
"I mean, I've never done that before. I have always dreamed about it. I longed for that sort of intimate contact. This is all so incredible, these feelings of bliss I have... you... this whole night. Its got to be a dream."
Well apparently stud muffin Matt had some brains to go along with all that muscle. I shouldn't say it like that. I kind of new he was special the first time he looked at me. It is hard to explain but he just seemed gentler then a lot of the other studs I have dated. This guy, he has that certain aura about him, like a soft sort of glow. Clearly you can tell he left a good first impression.
"This was your first time?" I asked nonchalantly, as if I didn't know.
"Yeah." he responded.
"And how was it?" I asked, for real this time. It had been so long since I had seen innocence I forgot what it was like.
"It was like... I felt... whole. Does that make any sense? I mean, my entire life I new something was missing, and just now with you something kind of slid into place." he said.
'Boy did it.' I thought... oh come on... This guy is trying to spill his guts and I am making a joke out of it.
I gathered my composure and said "Let's walk down a little ways."
I reached out, and lightly held his hand in mine. It was so strong, yet he held me so gently, with such control. We walked slowly along the beach. It was eerily quiet. I looked out into the lights of the town in front of us, then over to Matt. He had a strange look on his face of both happiness and sadness.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked softly.
"No, I mean yeah, well its just that I have been missing out on so much. I always feel like I have to put on this mask in front of people. You know, corn fed, bible raised, football team, sort of thing. Yeah, those things describe some of me, but not all of me. I like art, and reading, and to just sit and think too. And now, I am afraid that if the one person that I trust enough to show the me without the mask, finds out about this side of me, I might loose his friendship or even worse his trust." Matt concluded with a long sigh, and I am pretty sure I saw a tear run down his smooth cheek.
'Shit' I thought 'What the fuck am I supposed to do now.' I did the only thing that I could think of. I said what I wish someone had told me when I was struggling with who I was.
"Matt, you are beautiful outside and inside, no matter what you think." I almost cried. My hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him into me and we kissed. And there were fireworks, and confetti, and applause, and an original musical score. I kissed him with everything I had in me. It was incredible. I forgot about everything, all my trouble with my dead end job, all the pain I have felt in the past, all the hopeless despair I held so closely as my inevitable future. It was just the two of us and the moon.
I broke the kiss and turned to wipe the tears from my eyes. "What was that?" I thought. I had never felt such passion before, such a deep connection. Is this what everybody is after, this feeling of being attached. Is this love? I fell into the sand, confused and tired. So tired I could fall asleep right there in the warmth that the beach had collected during the day. He came and sat next to me. Shirtless now, I could see the beautiful form of his body. I removed mine too, and turned onto my side. He repositioned himself so that he was facing me, our foreheads touched, and our bare chests exchanged body heat in an effort to keep us snug against the salty sea breeze. He wrapped his arms around my waste, and I around his neck, and we lay quietly breathing in unison, listening to the sounds of the ocean.
To be continued.