Kiss in the Dark

Kiss in the Dark Kiss in the Dark

by -{BM}-

This is a story I wrote for a writing contest, enjoy!

This story is copyrighted by the author (me!).

This story contains gay themes and sex, do not read it if it is against your laws or you are homophobic.

Thanks to Chris, my editor for the great editing job!

***

My heart was racing and my hands were shaking as she stared me down.

"You didn't answer my question Casey, why are you really breaking up with me?" she asked as she folded her arms in a threatening gesture.

Shit! I can't tell her the real reason, what about the hundreds of fake ones that I was thinking of using?

"Well K-Karla, I-I'm gay..." Oh crap! That's the real reason!

"You're what!?" she exclaimed.

I shut my eyes as she started to scream at me. Oh hi, my name's Casey if you didn't pick that up earlier. With my well toned body, curly brown hair and big hazel eyes I've never really had problems gaining the attention of the opposite sex. This petite blond haired blue eyed girl in front of me is my girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend... now. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl; we're both fifteen and we've been dating for nearly six months now, but to tell you the truth we've never gotten past first base because I've never really been attracted to her. You see since I was twelve, I've come to realize that I'm a member of the one-in-ten group who are hated and discriminated against just because they are attracted to the same sex. Karla seems to be pretty upset about this, but now that I think about it, it was good to be honest so that she doesn't come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with her, even if it does mean that I've just outed myself to the first person ever.

"I don't believe it," she snarled, breaking me from my thoughts. "You're a faggot?"

The word cut right through me. Every tear, fear and confused thought I've had since I was twelve all crammed into that one word.

"Y-Yes," I managed to whisper in reply.

"What about your football?" she asked, "You can't be gay if you're that good."

I just shook my head at her stupidity. I was the best wide receiver for my age in the state. No-one has even come close to my receiving yards or receiving touchdowns since I was thirteen, I've broken all sorts of records. As anybody would in my position I was looking at a possible career in the NFL. However from what I've heard, your sexuality can really affect your chances of being drafted by any of the thirty-two teams in the competition which was one of the many reasons why I'm in the closet.

"Well, you're mine Casey, and I'm not going to let you go," she spat.

I ignored her comment, I wasn't anybody's property. "Sorry Karla, I'll see you at school tomorrow," I replied as I got up and walked towards the door of her room.

"Oh no you don't," she hissed. I turned and looked at her; she had a weird smile or her face.

"What do you mean? I told you... It's over."

"No it's not! Do you realize how heartless you're being!?" she screeched. I was glad that her parents weren't home yet otherwise I'd have some explaining to do. "I've built my entire social reputation on being `Casey's girlfriend' and that isn't going to change now! You will stay with me, or else I'll let the world know about your dirty little secret."

I cringed, suddenly images of my parents, friends and teammates all looking at me with scorn flashed through my mind. Any hopes of fulfilling my dream of playing in the big league would go straight down the drain. Why was she doing this to me? What happened to the friendly likeable Karla? Sigh, I should have lied to her and just hurt her feelings but as always, I'm too nice.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

Her smile got even wider, "Because, you're mine Casey, and I'm never letting you go!"

***

As I sat on her bed I couldn't help but feel nervous. I looked over at the mirror on her dresser, there I was... A very thin, almost feminine frame, I was twirling my blond locks nervously and my blue eyes were quivering.

"Well Kevin?" Alice asked nervously.

I slowly turned my head and looked over at the skinny girl with jet black hair and green eyes sitting on the bed facing me. I couldn't open my mouth to speak, and even if I could I wouldn't know what to say. Alice and I have known each other since I moved to this neighborhood when I was five. We were now both fifteen and she had just confessed something that I've had suspicions about since I was thirteen... She was in love with me. I should be happy right? I mean we both like the same things and had similar personalities (meaning that we both are very quiet and shy), but there was just one spanner in the works for this `happily ever after' story, I'm gay.

I've tried to go against my feelings. Hell, I've downloaded so much lesbian porn to convince myself that I'm not like that, but the sight of any boy's cute butt has always turned me on more than the most hardcore lesbian porn out there. And now she's looking at me, expecting me to return her gesture of affection. But I couldn't harm her; she's my best friend in the world for God's sake! She was the only person ever that bothered to make friends with the `quiet pretty boy' named Kevin.

I guess... I'll have to lie to her and to myself...

I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips, my... our first kiss. She smiled at me and I smiled back but inside I felt horrible. The longer this goes on the more hurt she's gonna be.

***

As we walked through the school gates together I put on my normal nice guy smile so that nobody would know that anything had changed between Karla and me. But things had changed, not only is Karla using my sexuality as blackmail but she's turned into the biggest bitch ever! The worst thing about this whole situation was that I can't see anyway to change it. If I stay with Karla I'll only become more depressed, however if I break it up with her or tell anyone what she's doing she'll out me to everybody... I feel completely helpless.

As we walked to our lockers I noticed another `new' couple at school who were holding hands as they sat at one of the tables outside. Everybody seems to notice new couples right away, and they're a hot topic for the gossip mill for a few weeks until the news gets old and I'm sure these two will have everyone talking about them by morning break. I knew Alice from biology class and the guy she's with I've always watched because he seemed so beautiful, but I don't know his name. They're both really quiet and I wouldn't know Alice at all if I hadn't been put in a group project with her during class. The guy she was with was totally hot; in fact I can never take my eyes off him. Those blond locks, hypnotic blue eyes... Mmm... What a cutie, too bad I'm `taken', sigh...

"Come on Casey," Karla snapped, wanting me to hurry up.

"Yes mistress," I whispered under my breath. Today was going to be hell, and it was only the first day of our awkward arrangement!

***

As we walked to school Alice seemed to be on cloud nine. Since we `gotten together' I've noticed that she generally smiles a lot more and giggles at anything I say, which makes me realize that she really is taken with me. Sigh, I should tell her, but in doing so I would hurt her, which would kill me inside. But lying to her like this is killing me inside already, either way I loose.

As we walked through the front gate she grabbed my hand and held it as we walked, stoking it with her thumb. She smiled at me, and even though I felt like shit I smiled back.

"Come on, let's sit over here before class starts," she said, gesturing to a table surrounded by seats.

"Sure," I replied. We sat down and made small talk for a while. Alice can read me like a book, and I think she realized that something was wrong; she even asked if I was alright. But I didn't want to discuss my dirty little secret so I perked up a bit so that she wouldn't say anything. Then HE walked through the front gate... Sigh... Casey, MY Casey (attached to his girlfriend of course). I've been attracted to him ever since my hormones kicked in, his brown curly hair and hazel eyes were to die for. And even though he wasn't built like a tank (in fact you could even describe him as skinny), you know that he could kick anyone's ass. Even though he wasn't a senior everyone treated him with respect because of his football achievements. He was always with the `in' crowd, and even though I've fantasized about hanging with him, I know that he would never want to hang out with an idiot like me.

As he walked to the main building I saw him look over our direction... at ME! I was smiling until I saw his eyes, and the sadness hidden behind them. At first I thought I was imagining things, after all he was good looking, he had the skills, and the friends, why would he be sad? But as I looked again there was no mistaking that his smile was just a mask. I kept looking at him until Karla got his attention and they headed off.

"Come on, we'd better get our books," Alice said, breaking me from my thoughts. I got up and followed her into the main building.

***

It was lunchtime and I was playing with the idea of just heading home. The fake smile on my face was starting to hurt.

"Hey Casey man, you coming to the party this weekend?" one of my friends asked me as he passed me in the halls. I nodded; I wouldn't miss Terry's party for the world. He has one of the largest houses I've ever seen and he only ever throws a party when his parents are away for the weekend. Everybody from our grade goes and the combination of alcohol and loud music always make it a night to remember. However since I'm going with Karla, I bet it's going to be one of those nights that I'd rather forget.

I turned the corner and the front door was in sight. All right! I picked up the pace and was looking forward to just some time by myself; well, until training at four o'clock...

"And where do you think you're going?"

I stopped walking and turned around. Karla was leaning against one of the lockers on the wall, I must have walked right past her without seeing her, weird.

"Uhhh... I was just going for a walk," I answered.

"Well let me come with you," she replied as she walked up and took my hand.

I sighed in frustration and we both walked out the door in silence. When we were outside the school grounds I was getting really sick of all this shit and decided it was time to talk,

"Listen... Karla, how long are you going to keep this up? This is hurting me you know..." she suddenly stopped walking and turned to me.

"Hurting you!" she snarled. "What about me!? Huh!? You think it's ok to play with my emotions?"

"I only told you about me so that you would think that there was nothing wrong with you," I replied timidly, geez! She could be really scary when she wanted to be.

"So all of our time together, all the kisses, they meant nothing to you?"

"They meant something, and I really enjoyed our time together, it's just that I'm not attracted to girls. At first when I had these weird feelings I convinced myself that they were just part of a phase that I was going through and tried to bury them when I was with you. But the other day I came to the realization that I am gay, and nothing I do can ever change that, I'm sorry."

I looked over at her and was shocked to see tears in her eyes. "Karla, I'm so sorry," I said as I hugged her, but after a few moments of her sobbing she pushed me away angrily.

"I will NOT let you do this to me Casey. Now I'm going to continue to blackmail you until those stupid fucking feelings leave you and you become normal again. I'm doing this for your own good you know, you might think I'm a bitch right now but you'll thank me later."

And with that she spun around and stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving me with my misery.

***

"What's up with you today Kevin?" Alice asked as we walked home together.

"Huh? Oh it's nothing, just thinking that's all," I answered.

"You're being such a space cadet today," she noted, "Is there something wrong?"

I sighed; Alice was my best friend in the whole world. There was no way that I was going to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. Why was I born gay? If I didn't have these feelings towards other guys I would be next to Alice on cloud nine at the moment, happy about how perfect we would be together. She squeezed my hand and I looked up at her,

"What's wrong? I-It's not me... Is it?" she asked timidly.

Oh God! Her heart is breaking in two and I haven't even said anything yet!

"N-no it's not you Alice, it's not you at all," I replied truthfully. It was me, stupid fucking me!

"Well what is it then?"

"I-I'm not sure if I want to go to this party," I answered. Phew! Close save, good thinking Kevin!

"But you've got to come," she whined playfully, "I can't go without my date."

"But I'm really the party type, you know?" I replied.

"Please come?" she asked with her pleading face that could melt the coldest of hearts.

I smiled, that trick always worked on me! "Sighhh! Okay, I'll come."

***

I easily ran around the cornerback and was into open space. Steely, our quarterback threw the ball and I stretched out my arms as I ran. Everything was in place for me to score, and then suddenly I remembered Karla's snarling face, and before I knew it the ball whizzed past me and the play was over. Good thing this was the bye week and I was only in Friday afternoon practice...

"Casey, get the hell over here!" Coach yelled and the guys on the field gave me a sympathetic look as I made my way over to the sideline.

"Coach?"

"What is going on kid?" he asked seriously. "The most you've ever dropped or missed in practice before today was two, but we're halfway through the session and you've already dropped eight balls!"

"Sorry Coach, I guess I've got some stuff on my mind," I replied truthfully.

"Well sort that stuff out kid. We've got a bye this weekend so you've got another week to screw your head on straight. Now go home, there's no use training when you're in this state, you'll just loose confidence."

I smiled, coach was a hard-ass but deep down he's a decent guy. I waved goodbye to the guys on the field and headed for the showers.

***

Ahhh... nothing like kicking back and watching South Park on a Friday afternoon. Its Kevin here, I've only just gotten home after walking around the mall and I'm finally having some time to myself while Alice gets her hair done in preparation for the party tomorrow night. I'm still not too keen on going but there's no escaping it now, I might as well just go along and stay in the background like I always do.

This episode was hilarious! Cartman has tricked Butters into staying in a bomb shelter for a week so that he can go to Kyle's birthday party instead of him! One minute into the episode I heard the doorbell ring and stood up and looked through the curtains, I nearly fell over when I saw who it was, it was him! It was Casey! Oh my God! What is he doing here? Who cares! Is my hair alright? Shit! I'd better run up to my room quickly and put on some more deodorant!

***

I was walking home from training by myself for a change; normally I was surrounded by the other guys from the team. Coach was right, I really need to sort out my personal life, but the only problem is how? I sighed; I wish I hadn't told her and we were still happily together. Well, she'd be happy... but at least I wouldn't be walking home from training after dropping more balls in one session than I have the whole season.

I looked up as I crossed the road and someone caught my eye. It was that cute guy I saw with Alice when I walked across the school courtyard earlier today. I wish I knew his name; it's such a shame not being able to put a name to such a cute face. I watched as he opened the gate to a small garden and entered what I assumed was his house.

As I watched him disappear from sight I suddenly had the urge to see him again... To at least ask him what his name was. `Hello, my name is Casey, ummm... who are you?' Hmmm... That would work, but what then? I bit my lip as I thought it through for a few minutes, is it worth looking like a complete idiot just to get one piece of information? In this case... it is!

I ran over and opened the front gate. As I noted before the garden was small but it was well looked after. I walked up to the front door and took a quick look around to see if anyone was watching, the coast was clear. I rang the door bell and waited nervously, after thirty seconds of no answer I rang the door bell again. I knew he was here, I saw him come home.

Suddenly I got cold feet and this all seemed so stupid! Casey you idiot! Why don't you just make a big, colorful sticker saying `I'm gay' and stick it on your forehead!? Besides, he has a girlfriend! And if Karla heard about this, she would out me to everyone she sees! After a few more moments of convincing myself this was just silly I turned around and legged it before I made an even bigger fool of myself.

***

I heard the bell ring a second time,

"Okay, I'm coming," I mumbled as I ran out of my room. Why was he here? We've never talked to each other before! There was no way someone as cool as Casey would be gay so I attempted to discard all of the fantasies that were running through my head (Casey confessing his love for me as soon as I opened the door to him, and then we spend the next two hours making out on my bed was probably the `tamest' one, hehehe) but it was impossible to stop them! Thoughts of my `relationship' with Alice and Casey's relationship with Karla popped into my head but right now I didn't care, HE was on the other side of this door...

As I put my hand on the doorknob the excitement left me and I suddenly became nervous, VERY nervous! Shit, this was Casey, the most popular person in our school! What if I did or said something stupid in front of him? I took a deep breath, calm down Kevin; this isn't the time to self-destruct!

I opened the door with a big smile on a face to greet... nothing? I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Was I seeing things? Was Casey really there a few moments ago? I stood there for a few moments looking stupid and then went back inside to watch TV. I should have known! What would a perfect guy like Casey want with a stupid idiot like me? I must have Casey on the brain today!

***

"Hey you two, glad you could make it. All the alcohol is out the back, if you're going to throw up please don't do it in the house."

I smiled at Terry's typical welcome to one of his parties. He's the biggest party animal I've ever met.

"So Casey, how many yards do you reckon you're gonna get this season?" one of the guys in the crowd asked as Karla and I made our way through to the back porch.

I thought for a moment, "Around 600," I answered.

"As if man, you racked up 850 yards last season and you missed two games with a broken finger," one of the guys retorted.

I wasn't one to boast, especially after my dismal performance at training yesterday so I didn't reply to his comment and Karla and I made our way to the keg outside. Karla said hello to everyone on the way and I just nodded by head and smiled at their greetings. As she pulled me around with her I got the impression that I was her `trophy boyfriend', that she was just showing me off to everybody. Sigh, it looks like alcohol is going to be my best friend tonight.

***

I was sooooo nervous! Even more nervous than I was yesterday when I was under the impression that Casey was at my door. (I'm still not sure if I imagined it or not by the way). From the way Alice was behaving I could tell that she was nervous as well, I know she's been to a few parties with the `in' crowd so I'm sure her jitters aren't as bad as mine right now!

"Let's go out the back," she whispered in my ear after we received a friendly welcome from the guys who were sculling straight rum in the living room. Although I'm sure in their state they would have given anybody who walked through the door a friendly welcome.

We walked out onto the back porch which was over looking a massive backyard. There were around one hundred people out the back and God knows how many inside, this was one big party! Alice looked intimated by the crowd and I knew exactly how she was feeling, I was ready to turn around and go home, I just don't function well in crowds this size.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Heeeey, Alice, glad you could make it," I looked at the owner of the voice and recognized him from one of my classes. I had a feeling that this guy was already really drunk and that feeling was confirmed when he started to use us as his personal leaning post to help him stand up straight. "And you are?" he asked as he stretched out his hand,

"Kevin," I replied as I shook his outstretched hand timidly.

"Ahhh... Kevin," he replied knowingly as if he'd known it all along, "I've always seen you around but you never talk to anybody. You've got to live the moment... LIVE THE MOMENT MAAAAAAAN!" he suddenly yelled, and a number of drunken voices yelled back in agreement. Live the moment? What the hell was this guy drinking?

"T-thanks," I said.

"Don't thank me man, I'm just doing my job," and with that, he fell facedown on the floor. Alice and I looked at each other; a smile broke on my face.

"Should I help him?" I asked.

"He'll be alright," she replied, "Let's get a drink so we can blend in a bit more."

"Okay, just don't bump into anyone, I don't want to get into any fights tonight" I answered as he headed toward the alcohol table.

***

Karla pulled me to the side away from everyone, "What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed, "Be a bit more social for once you dumbass!"

I looked at her in disbelief; I would have thought that she'd have a good idea of what is haunting me at the moment... her! The alcohol was starting to take effect so I just gave her the finger and walked off, fuck her! She can out me of she wants, stupid bitch!

I stumbled up the stairs and onto the back porch grabbing a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the way. I walked into the house and sat down on the couch by myself ignoring the other people in the room; I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts right now.

***

Wow! This alcohol was pretty good stuff. All my life my family has educated me about how bad it is for you but I've already talked to more people tonight than I have the entire year! I looked over at Alice and she smiled and grabbed my hand. It seems that the drinks have helped her to fit in and have a good time as well.

Ten minutes passed and after two more drinks I was feeling on top of the world! People actually seemed to like having me around and everybody was talking to me! It felt so weird, being a part of the `in' crowd, I've always been afraid to even attempt to be sociable with anybody other than Alice but once you actually spark up that first conversation it's a piece of cake!

I was talking to this girl who was hitting on me! (Well I wasn't too sure because I was drunk, but I think she was!) It was a good thing that Alice was taking a bathroom break. Suddenly a guy on the way to the drinks table bumped into me and made me spill my drink all down the front of my shirt,

"Ah fuck, sorry man," he said quickly.

"No problem," I grumbled knowing that I'd probably get m ass kicked if I tried to take it any further. Great, now I'm going to be sticky for the rest of the night. I finished my conversation and made my way inside. After a few minutes of searching I found one of the bathrooms empty so I locked the door and attempted to clean myself off, which wasn't easy in my state! One really bad clean-up job later I walked out and started to search for Alice.

Wow, this house was huge! I went from room to room and was about to go outside to continue my search when suddenly I saw Casey sitting on a couch by himself looking at a broken bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor. I was toying with the idea of just sitting on a chair near him and taking a few minutes out of my searching time just to admire his beauty when all the lights went out and it suddenly went dark, I couldn't see a thing!

***

I kept sipping my bottle of JD, trying to forget about the bitch that is probably outing me to everyone who'll listen at the moment. After a few more sips I wasn't feeling any better and suddenly felt ashamed at how much I'd drunk tonight, if my parents or coach knew they'd kill me.

"Fuuuuck!" I yelled as I threw the bottle on the ground in a fit of rage. Looks like Terry is going to be pissed when he sees this stain on the carpet, but at the moment I really didn't care. I just sat there for a few minutes trying to keep the tears inside as I looked at the whisky being absorbed into the floor. I was so fed up with everything and was about to get up and go home when the lights cut out and everything went dark, what the hell was going on?

I stayed where I was, deciding not to move just in case I tripped over something, or someone. I could hear people in the other rooms asking each other what was going on and I could also hear the drunken idiots yelling and laughing outside. Suddenly I heard someone breathing, they were close,

"Hello? Who's there?" I whispered, "Do you know what's going on?"

I could hear this mystery person getting closer and closer, their breathing was getting more intense for some reason. I jumped when I felt a shaky hand touch my head and I sighed when I felt them run it through my hair. This felt nice but I seriously wasn't in the mood for another girl to come into my life and mess it up, it was time to stop this. I opened my lips to talk but was stopped by their lips pressing up against mine. I would have yelled out in shock but with my lips covered it came out as a very quiet yelp.

Seriously, I'm so sick of girls... I know they're all not like Karla but I'm really not in the mood for anymore trouble so I'll push her off me and tell her to get lost. I was about to do just that when I took my first breath in through my nose, instead of smelling the expected perfume of a girl, I smelt the deodorant of a boy! Oh wow! This was a guy! I was about to kiss him back but I paused for a few moments, wondering who the hell this could be. I decided to wait and find out later, right now it wasn't important. I started to return the kiss and was getting hard just thinking that this was another guy... Mmmm... He's not a bad kisser either... Something about the way he moved his lips told me that this kiss was one of desperation, like he had been waiting years for this.

As we kissed I could hear everybody else around us start to panic but I didn't care, there were more important things going on right now. It felt so weird, kissing someone and not knowing who they are. The kissing and sucking noises we were making seemed to be amplified by a thousand times and I was afraid that someone might investigate what was going on with a flashlight. But we were never interrupted, and I suddenly slipped my tongue into his mouth, his kiss faltered for a second and I started to think that I moved too fast (Stupid!) but I groaned with pleasure when his mouth opened and welcomed my tongue. I heard him moan in reply as he started to suck on my tongue; I suddenly had the need to touch him so I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He replied by putting his hand on my shoulder. Our tongues were wrestling wildly and it was getting to the point that I was going to break the kiss and eat this boy alive! We both stopped when we heard a voice outside our window,

"Yeah, the fuse for the house is gone; I'll have the new one in going in a sec."

My mystery boy took his hand off my shoulder and broke the kiss.

"Don't go," I pleaded, still holding onto his shoulder.

He didn't answer and quickly backed off, I never let go of his shirt but it was wrenched from my grip when he frantically pulled it from me. I got up off the couch and ran towards the direction where I thought he went; however I ran straight into the wall since I was drunk and it was still dark, and fell on my ass. I sat up and the lights came on, he was no-where in sight...

***

I heard people around me wondering what the hell was going on. The last image I saw before the lights went out (Casey sitting on a couch looking down at the floor) was still fresh in my mind and I cautiously made my way towards the couch where I assumed he was still sitting. As I got closer he must have heard me because he spoke,

"Hello? Who's there? Do you know what's going on?"

I didn't answer him and continued to move even closer, I could hear him breathing... It was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. I knelt down in front of him and reached out my hand to touch him but faltered for a moment at halfway, and asked myself what the hell I was doing, this was Casey! Why would he want a guy to show him this type of affection? He's not like me!

I gulped when my hand started to move on its own and I felt his silky soft curls between my fingers. Wow! His hair feels even better than it looks. I guess that drunk who passed out at my feet earlier did have a point, living the moment did have its advantages. I started to move my hand back and forth over his head and I heard him sigh, which for some reason made put my hand on his shoulder and lean forward to press my lips to his...

Nothing happened for a few moments, I was just happy that I was able to find his lips in the dark. He took a deep breath in through his nose and then he suddenly started to kiss me back for some reason. I've only ever kissed one person before, and that's Alice. We've kissed a few times in the few days that we've been `together' but I never really gotten into it. But this... I could suck on his lips all day.

I was shocked when he suddenly slid his tongue into my mouth. I stopped for a moment, unsure of what to do, but I then remembered that this was Casey's tongue so I sucked on it tenderly, and he groaned in response. His sexy groan made my already pulsing errection flare with more intensity and I moaned back in reply. I started to move my tongue around in his mouth and he seemed to really like it. I was starting to think about sitting down on the couch next to him because my knees were really starting to hurt when I heard people outside saying something about how the lights will be back on in a few more seconds. I jumped up off the floor and took my hand off his shoulder,

"Please don't go," I heard him say. His hand was still on my shoulder which made me hesitate for a moment, should I go? The lights could come on and he might be happy that it's me... Or then he may be under the impression that I'm a girl and then beat the shit out of me in a fit of homophobic rage... I'd better get out of here. I tried to move again but he would let go of my shirt. In a panic I ripped it from his grasp and took off before the lights came back on.

***

"Hey Casey man, are you okay?" one of the guys who saw me fall asked.

I hopped to my feet, I had to find him! I looked around the room and saw a red button on the floor near the couch. It must have come off his shirt when he ripped it away from me. I picked it up and headed out towards the back garden, looking for any guys who were missing a red button on their shirt.

***

Oh shit! What have I done? What if Casey thought I was a girl? He would beat me to a pulp if he ever found out! I'd better leave this party before I'm carried out in a body bag!

I ran out to the back garden and saw Alice talking with a group of girls; she was still drinking and having a good time. I walked up to her and she smiled at me,

"Hey Kevin, that blackout was pretty spooky huh? What happened to your shirt?" she asked pointing to a missing button that must have been ripped off sometime tonight.

I said hello to the group of girls that she was with and then pulled her away to a secluded spot.

"Look, we have to leave," I said quickly once we were away from anybody's hearing range.

"Why? We're having so much fun," she replied.

I paused for a second, wondering how much I could, or should tell her.

"Listen, we have to leave okay? I did something really stupid."

Her smile suddenly changed to a look of concern,

"What did you do?" she asked.

Alice was my best friend; I couldn't lead her on anymore. It was time to tell her, about me... "I... I kissed Casey when the lights went out," I replied.

She just looked confused after that and I would have laughed at her expression if the situation wasn't so serious.

"O-okay, we'll leave now and talk about this later," she replied quietly.

"I wanted to tell you Alice, but I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to know that... that I'm gay," I said as tears started to well in my eyes and hers. I'm such a fuckwit! How could I hurt her like this?

"I've noticed the signs Kevin," she replied quietly. "You just never said anything and I didn't want to hurt your feelings by asking."

"I'm so sorry for deceiving you like this Alice; I didn't want to hurt your feelings... But seriously, I kissed Casey when it went dark and he thought I was a girl, so could we leave now just in case he finds out it was me?" I asked.

"Too late Kevin," I voice behind me answered. I turned around and was horrified to see Casey standing there holding my missing button in his hand.

***

I looked all over for anyone who was missing a red button but was having no success. No-one was acting any differently towards me so I guessed that Karla hadn't outed me to anyone... yet. I was about to go back inside and continue my search when suddenly I caught a glimpse of that cute guy whom I've been infatuated with lately walk up to Alice and pull her away from the group of girls she was talking with. As they turned to walk away he faced me and my jaw dropped when I saw that he was missing a button from his shirt... a red button!

After I took a moment to pinch my arm to check if I was dreaming or not I made my way over to them and stayed at a distance to hear what they were saying. My eyes widened when I caught his name, Kevin... It was a cute name and it suited him for some reason. From what he was saying he was under the impression that I thought that he was a girl when he was kissing me. I stepped over when he suggested that they leave and showed him the button that I picked up.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. I'm so sorry Casey," and with that he ran off through the party. I was about to take after him when Alice grabbed my hand,

"Please don't hurt him Casey. I've always noticed that he watches you, and although I've only just found out that he's gay I'm sure that he really likes you."

I smiled, "Listen Alice. I'm not going to hurt him. I've always watched him too," and with that I took off after him leaving a very confused Alice who just shook her head and sculled what was left in her glass.

***

I'm dead meat. If Casey finds me I'll just ask him to kill me quickly. I'm in one of the many bathrooms towards the back of the house sitting on the bench next to the sink bawling my eyes out. The worst thing about this situation is that it's all my fault, I shouldn't have kissed him but... but I couldn't control myself. God, why was I born a boy, why couldn't I have been born a girl so then kissing Casey wouldn't be seen as wrong by him and everybody else?

"Kevin?" a voice asked from outside the door.

I tried to stop crying but it was no use, the tears just wouldn't stop coming.

"Kevin? Please let me in. Are you alright?" the voice asked again and I recognized it as Casey's.

"Please don't hurt me Casey," I pleaded, "I know you think I'm some stupid little fag, but... but I just had to feel what it was like to kiss you," I sobbed.

There was no reply and I thought that he may have gone to get some of his bulky football friends to help him break down the door but he replied after a few more moments of silence, "Kevin... I-I liked it."

I stopped crying and looked up at the door, "What?"

"I liked it Kevin. I've been attracted to you since I first noticed you in the schoolyard."

I was speechless. This was too good to be true, maybe it was... "You're just saying that so that I open the door and then you can beat me up," I replied.

"It's true," he replied quickly. "Did someone ring your doorbell yesterday and then take off?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Well it was me..." he admitted.

"W-why did you take off?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to know your name, I thought you were the hottest guy I've ever seen and it was a shame not being able to put a name to your face. So when I saw you enter your house on my way home from training I had a sudden urge to ask you what it was face to face. I took off because I got cold feet, and realized that I'd look like a complete idiot."

I believed him, even though it all seemed like a dream, I still believed it all. I got up and was about to open the door,

"I love you Kevin," he said suddenly, "I've loved you since the day I first saw you."

I closed my eyes when I heard those words and the tears started to come again, "I love you too Casey, always have."

"Well do you think you could open this door, I feel like a bit of an idiot talking to a piece of wood out here," he replied.

I giggled nervously and opened the door. He was standing there with tears streaking down his cheeks. I wiped my face and then walked up to him...

***

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard him giggle and open the door. He was standing there looking at me with an expression of wonder, of love. His hypnotic blue eyes were quivering and he brushed his blond locks off his cheeks. I was rooted to the spot as I admired his beauty and he approached me timidly.

"S-so what did you think of my kiss before?" he asked nervously.

I smiled, "It was great Kevin, the best kiss I've ever had."

He grinned at that answer and then leaned in and kissed me right there in the hallway. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we moved into the bathroom, I made sure to break the kiss for a few moments to turn and lock the door. I was a little bit nervous about never having done this before with a boy or girl, but when I looked into his fucking cute eyes all doubt left my mind and all that was left was a need, a need for him. We made our way over to the sink and he sat up on the surface as we kissed. I couldn't keep my hands off him; his taste... his scent was driving me wild. His face, his hair, his chest, his back, his butt! Every part of him turned me on! We made out for what seemed like an eternity, sucking on each others lips and tongues before I had to have more!

I broke the kiss and moved my hands down and undid his zipper as I looked into his eyes. I leaned in and kissed him again as I reached into his boxers and started rub his pulsating cock which was jumping for joy in my hand. His organ was so hot and I could feel some precum leak out through the head when I ran my fingers over it. Kevin broke the kiss and started to whine in my ear as he sucked on my earlobe. I could tell he was getting close so I gently pushed him back against the wall and moved downwards.

I ran my fingers through his pubes and he giggled, then I pulled his cock out into the open air and started to slowly run my tongue up and down his shaft,

"Oh Casey, Mmm..." he whimpered as he moved his hips upwards.

I took his whimpers as a signal for needing release so I opened my mouth and let his penis slide in between my lips. I bobbed up and down on his red hot cock and rubbed his balls with my hand as he ran his hands through my hair. I was always curious about what sucking cock would be like; Kevin's had a slightly salty taste to it. I was careful to make sure that I never hurt him with my teeth and every time I moved downwards I managed to take more and more of his length in my mouth.

"Oh God! Casey, I'm close..." he blurted out suddenly.

I heard him but I didn't care, I wasn't going anywhere. I increased my pace and after a few more seconds he cried out and the first spurt hit the back of my throat. I increased my suction and swallowed every drop of his sweet juices as he thrashed wildly. After he had finished cumming I hopped up and kissed him on the lips. His face was red and he was sweating a little but the smile on his face told me that he loved it.

He broke the kiss and rubbed his nose lovingly against mine. Then his face broke out into a shy grin and he gently pushed me backwards and slid off the sink,

"Thank you, I love you so much" he whispered in my ear before he got down on his knees and quickly unzipped my trousers. He reached in and pulled my straining cock out of my boxers. As he held it in his hand he looked up at me. I was about to say that I loved him with all my heart when he suddenly leaned forward and started to lick the sensitive head of my twitching penis. I nearly fell over from the pleasure that shot through my body and had to put my hands on the bench for balance.

"Ohhh! Oh fuck," I moaned as he continued to tease me with his tongue, then, when I thought that I couldn't take anymore he stopped teasing me and swallowed my cock. His mouth was so wet and warm the sensations it was giving me made my eyes roll to the back of my head. As he gave me my first blowjob I ran my fingers through his silky blond hair and gently fucked his face. He timidly put his hands on my butt cheeks and kneaded them softly as he continued to bring me to could nine with his mouth and tongue.

I was already close so it wasn't long before I felt the orgasm of a lifetime rush to my loins,

"K-Kevin? I-I'm gonna cum..." I stuttered but he didn't stop. I closed my eyes as I unloaded into his willing mouth and I saw stars! After what seemed like a lifetime of pure bliss I opened my eyes, breathless. Kevin zipped me back up and stood up and gave me a peck on the lips. I smiled and noticed that he was `showing' so I tucked it back into his pants and zipped him up in return.

We both leaned in for another kiss when we heard a loud knocking on the door,

"Casey, is that you in there?" a voice asked... Shit! It was Karla!

"Ummm... Yeah," I answered, gesturing for Kevin to hide in the shower. I wiped my sweaty face with my sleeve and opened the door when I saw that Kevin was well hidden. I was shocked to find both Karla and Alice at the door; Karla seemed annoyed while Alice just seemed worried.

"What the fuck is going on Casey?" Karla asked, "Alice found me and asked me to help her find you."

"Ummm... N-nothing," I answered nervously. "I was just going to the bathroom."

"Sure," she answered sarcastically as she turned to Alice. "So I take it this has something to do with Kevin?" she said.

"Y-yeah," Alice answered, "I was just looking for him, that's all." I was relived that she didn't mention the kiss.

"Well, I'll find him for you," Karla answered as she strutted over to the shower and yanked the shower curtain across, revealing a blushing Kevin.

"H-hey Karla," he said softly.

"Don't talk to me you faggot!" she snarled at him. I saw Kevin cower at those words and was about to yell at her for hurting his feelings when she turned to me, "I warned you Casey. I warned you about what would happen. So now I'm going to out you two queers to everyone, you'll never be able to show your face..." SLAP!

I think mine and Kevin's jaws both dropped at the same time. Karla was holding her cheek and was unable to say anything to the fuming Alice who was staring her down.

"How DARE you Kevin that... that awful `f' word!" she said quickly.

Karla didn't say anything for a few more moments then she swallowed and tears started to streak down her face. I felt bad for her even after all the shit she'd put me through,

"Look guys, why don't you two go back out to the party, we'll join you in a bit," I said as I walked up to Karla and started to pat her gently on the back. They nodded and after they left I went over and closed the door.

"I'm so sorry Casey," she sobbed, not even looking at me. "When you told me, I-I just saw red. I didn't want to loose you. That slap, it just showed me how much of a complete prat I've become."

I sighed, I was supposed to be angry with her but what sort of person would I be if I yelled at her while she was in this weakened state? "Karla, will you out me to everyone now?" I asked wanting to know the most important thing first.

She sniffed, "No, I can't hurt you Casey, I love you too much for that. I threatened you because I wanted you to stay with me." Then she looked up at me with a pleading look in her eyes, "Why can't we be together Casey? What did I do?"

"There's nothing wrong with you Karla," I replied truthfully. "This just isn't meant to be. I can't help what I feel, I was born this way."

"Fate sucks," she said as she looked in the bathroom mirror.

"Tell me about it," I replied, not really meaning it because of my `meeting' with Kevin tonight.

She then moved over to me and kissed me gently on the cheek, "I'm sorry Casey, I hope you and Kevin are happy together," from her tone I wasn't too sure if she actually meant that, and with that she opened the door and left the room. I stood there for a few moments thinking and then walked out to join Alice and Kevin outside.

***

Hey it's Kevin here. It's Saturday afternoon, nearly one week after the party and I'm sitting on my couch with Casey, and yes we're kissing if you MUST know, hehehe... After the party I spent a lot of time with Alice, she was pretty upset but understanding and I think she might have found another guy who's interested in her already! In fact they've gone to the mall for a shopping date today. After we left the party last week Casey came over to my place and we picked up from where we left off in the bathroom at Terry's place. Good thing my parents had their noisy air-conditioner on that night!

I asked Casey about Karla but he really didn't say much. I still see her around school and she hangs out with us sometimes but I get the impression that she's still a bit pissed at us. Although it should be noted that it didn't take her long to move on, in fact word has it that she got onto another guy at the party right after she talked with Casey!

Oh well, all's well that ends well. Casey played football last night and I was in the stands watching my first football match, I've always found them boring but with Casey on the field the game gets more exciting for some reason. Especially when he wore that cute uniform that shows off his butt. He had a 150 yard game and scored 2 touchdowns (I have no idea what that means but Casey told me it is a good thing.)

I've found the other half of my soul, and it feels great!

***

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