Kristens Awakening

From: Jusasiam jusasiam@cox.net

Subject: Kristen's Awakening 1

This story may contain very graphic sex scenes which is intended for persons of eighteen years or over. All comments, good or bad, are welcome and all will be answered. This story is the property of the author. If you wish to publish or distribute the story then, please, at least ask me the author.

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Kristen's Awakening 1

Sitting in my bedroom, looking out the window on a gloomy rainy October afternoon, I started reflecting back over my miserable short life. Up until I was 13 years old, I felt I was in a loving normal family life. I knew my mother loved me, even though she had to work a lot to give us a home and comfortable life. My father also worked hard, but when he was home, most of his time was spent drinking or going out with his buddies. When he wasn't drinking, we were best buds, hanging out and doing father daughter fun stuff together.

It was a Saturday, mom was out holding an open house on a piece of property she was trying to sell, when my dad had invited his brother and a couple of his buddies over for some drinking and swimming. We cooked some hamburgers out on the grill, and as they were drinking, I was laying out by the pool, getting some sun on my lily white petite body. At the time, I was 5'0", maybe 95 pounds, my boobs, where tiny little bumps that kind of poked at my bikini top. My dad was there with everyone else, I really felt I didn't have anything to worry about. After about two o'clock in the afternoon, when all the beer ran out, my uncle volunteered to get more beer for everyone. Feeling like I was getting too much sun, I decided to head in for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

Once upstairs, instead of going to my room for a change of clothes, I headed directly to the bathroom for a shower. Closing and locking the door, I stripped out of my bikini and jumped into the shower. As I was taking my shower I thought I heard the doorknob being jiggled, but after listening carefully, I didn't hear anything again. Thinking it was just my imagination, I quickly forgot it and finished up with my shower. I stepped out of the shower, drying myself off, I wrapped the towel around me as I normally do, picking up my bikini I opened the door and started walking towards my bedroom, when I spotted my uncle's buddies waiting in the hallway. Thinking that they were just waiting for me to exit the bathroom so they could use it, I started to step around them so I could get to my bedroom, but as I was about to pass them, one of the men stepped in front of me, grinning at me.

"Told you she was a real looker, I bet she's dying to show us what she has under that towel, especially after parading around all afternoon in that skimpy bikini she was wearing." The shorter one said.

Trying to put on my best face, "you'd better watch out, I'll call my dad and he'll throw you both out faster than you can spit."

They both gave a hardy laugh, the one behind me said, "Hell honey, you should have heard how he was bragging at what a hot number you are, running around the house nearly naked, showing off that cute little ass of yours."

As I was about to scream out, suddenly my towel was yanked from my body, leaving me holding one end of it in one hand, while holding my bikini in the other hand. I opened my mouth to scream out, when a hand covered my mouth and lifted me off the floor carrying me as I was kicking and trying to claw at the hand on my mouth. Once they had me inside of my bedroom, I was thrown onto the bed as the door as closed. As I looked at my attackers, I tried to crawl backwards away from them, but was stopped by the wall on the far side of the bed. As the taller of the two started to reach out to me, I tried to kick him, but he just caught my ankles and yanked me to the edge of the bed, holding onto both my ankles, he spread my legs out wide, while licking his lips while staring at me.

"I've got to taste some of this little hairless pussy, hold her and keep her quite." As he knelt down and started to slobber all over my vagina, the other quickly yanked down his zipper, pulling his penis from his pants waving it in my face.

"Open up little girl, you're about to learn how to suck a real cock, bite me and I promise I'll knock out every one of your teeth." He then pushed his penis to my lips, and with a pop on the side of my face with his hand, he entered my mouth with his vile thing, pushing it in as far as he could. Slowly I felt it harden, and go in deeper each time he trust his hips forward. I felt something rubbing against my vagina, then I felt a searing pain being ripped into me. It was at this time, I lost all recollection of any events that happened afterwards.

In the fog of my mind, I could hear a woman screaming at the top of her lungs as I lay curled up on my bed, in pain and agony. I was beyond crying or caring, my world was a foggy haze. Vaguely aware of a blanket being wrapped around me, and men and women talking.

The next thing I do remember was being in the hospital, my mother at my side, tears streaming down her face, "I'm so sorry baby, please forgive me." She was repeating this over and over while squeezing my hands in hers. There was a nurse also in the room, taking my blood pressure, when a doctor walked into the room and as he started to approach the bed, I started screaming, trying to get away from him. Between my screams, I heard him say something about another doctor would be better suited doing this examination. A short time later, a tall blond lady, wearing a white coat, came and sat beside me and began talking to me.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Michelle Hart. I understand that you have gone through a terrible ordeal, and I am here to examine you and get all the evidence I can so that everyone who has caused this horrible thing to you is punished to the fullest extent of the law. Do I have your permission to do a complete exam on you, including looking in and examining your vagina?"

I looked over to my mother, who tried to smile, but slowly nodded her head at me, I then turned back to the doctor, and also nodded my head towards her.

"Your name is Kristen, is that correct?"

Nodding my head yes...

"Kristen, if it's ok with your mother, would you like me to give you a shot to calm your nerves, and maybe make you feel a little better?"

Again looking back at my mother, she slowly nodded her head.

Looking back at the doctor, I nodded my head also, but then raised my hand asking, "You're not going to hurt me are you?"

Taking my hand in hers, Dr. Hart smiled, "While you are in this hospital under my care, I promise you no one is ever going to hurt you. I'll be as gentle as I can, but I must be through in my examination. OK sweetheart?"

Giving a half smile, I nodded my head as I felt a needle in my arm, and soon I was back into my foggy world, only half hearing the voices around me.

When I woke up, I noticed I was in a room with the light coming through a window beside the bed, and my mother sitting in a chair asleep next to me. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls, I was so dry, I barely croaked out, "mom" through dry lips. Her eyes flew open and in a rush she was at my side, "Baby, you're awake, I'm right here."

Again I croaked out, "Mouth is so dry, water please!"

Taking a cup of water from the tray, she put the straw to my lips, telling me to sip slowly. It seemed like only moments later, I recognized Dr. Hart as she entered my room, smiling from ear to ear. As she sat on the edge of my bed, she again took my hand in hers, giving it a lite squeeze.

"How are you this morning, maybe a little sore?"

Having had a little water, I tried to smile a little, "Yes, my throat hurts a little, but my bottom still feels like it's on fire."

Looking over at my mother, Dr. Hart looked back at me, smiled and gave me a little wink, "We won't talk about your pain right now, but I prescribed some pain medication for you for the next couple days, and today I have prescribed the morning after pill for you, do you understand why I have done that?"

Looking at her, then my mother, "Yes, because I was raped, and you want to stop any pregnancy that might be because of it."

"That's right honey. I have also posted it so that no males may enter your room. There is also two female detectives just outside that would like very much to talk to you, is it ok if I send them in shortly."

Again, smiling as much as I could, "Yes, I want to tell them everything so those assholes spend the rest of their lives in prison for what they did to me. I suppose the road to recovery has to start somewhere, and now is the time for it to begin," as I noticed both my mother and Dr. Hart smiling at me.

As my mother sat on the edge of my bed, we both felt an awkward moment, "Mom, we both know what happened to me, I'll admit I don't remember too much about the whole event, but it happened. I don't feel as if it was my fault, but I do blame daddy for drinking and letting those men into our house and Uncle Tyler for bringing them. We don't have to talk about it now, but we do need to learn to talk to one another without you feeling like every word is going to hurt me." I reached out and pulled her close to hug her, "This wasn't the first Saturday you ever had to work, so don't keep saying you're sorry. There isn't anything you could have done that would have made a difference. All you were trying to do was make a good home for us all."

"Honey, there is something I need to tell you..."

Just then, two people started to enter the room, one a short petite blond, who looked like she couldn't hurt a fly, even if she tried, and a taller brunette, who looked like she could rip the limbs from any man without even trying very hard. The little blond then introduced herself as Officer Richardson, and her partner Officer Todd. My mother then stood and introduced herself, as she shook hands with each of the Officers. The taller brunette, then spoke with a voice as soft as an angel asking, "Mrs. Watterson, would please step out of the room while we talk to your daughter about what happened yesterday. You can stand just outside the door if you like. We will make this as brief and painless as we can, I promise."

I smiled at my mother, grabbed her hand, "Mom, I'll be fine, go and get a cup of coffee or something, and while you're at it, can I have some ice cream please, my throat is still a little sore."

As my mother made her way out the door, Officer Todd asked, "How are you doing Kristen? Are you up to telling us everything you remember about the events that happened yesterday?"

I told them how I was just lying around, trying to get a tan, about all the drinking, and how I felt it was time for me to go inside and get dressed about midafternoon. I told them when I came out of the upstairs bathroom with the towel wrapped around me, and confronting my uncles two friends in the hallway. I told them about how they talked about me, then stripped away the towel and dragged me to the bedroom. I told them how the shorter of the two make me suck on his penis while the taller of the two was slobbering on my vagina. I told them that when the taller of the two, actually raped me, the pain was so great, I really don't remember much after that.

It was at that moment the little blond detective snapped her pencil she was writing with, making me think she really wasn't one to be messed with. Actually I really didn't think it wise to mess with either one of them.

Officer Todd looked at me, "Kristen, you really don't remember anything about your father or uncle during this whole time?"

Looking at her with puzzled eyes, "No, is there something I should know? My mom was about to tell me something when you both walked into the room."

They looked at one another, when Officer Todd said, "Yes, we feel there is something more you should know. If it's ok with you, why don't we let Officer Richardson find your mother and fill her in on what we talked about so far, and have your mother join us to tell you the rest? Would you like that Kristen?"

A little puzzled at the sudden turn of events, I nodded, seeing the fire in Officers Richardson eyes, not towards me or Officer Todd, but still burning bright and hot as she walked out of the room. After a few short moments, Officer Richardson and my mother walked back into the room, my mother looking visibly upset, tears forming in her eyes, while she was biting on her lower lip. She sat down on the bed beside me, taking my hands in hers, as she looked over at the Officers, she then turned to me...

"Honey, this is very painful for me tell you this, but I am glad these Officers agreed to let you hear it from me, than to hear it from strangers. It appears both your father and your uncle also raped you, as well as the two strangers they brought into our home. I'm so sorry baby, please forgive me..." She hugged me tightly, and began to sob into my shoulder as she held me tightly. I hugged her back tightly, letting her words sink into me... slowly seething like a slow ember, growing hotter and hotter, as the burning rage emitted as a long wail from my throat... I began sobbing hysterically, beating my fist on my mother's back and shoulders. She only hugged me tighter, if that were even possible, rocking me side to side.

I'm guessing the nurses heard the commotion coming from my room and immediately called Dr. Hart back to the room. When she walked back into the room, I probably looked a total mess, snot running out of my nose, I was hyperventilating, trying to catch my breath. She immediately ordered everyone out of the room including my mother. As my mother started to pull away, I shouted...

"No wait!" I wiped my nose with the sleeve of the gown I was wearing, "Wait a minute." Looking at Officer Richardson, "I want you to make me a promise... I want you to put all those mother fuckers in jail for the rest of their miserable lives, can you promise me that, can you look at me and tell me you won't let them get away with this and maybe doing it to someone else, goddam it, look at me and promise me that little bit of satisfaction," as the tears slowly made their way down my cheeks.

Officer Richardson stepped up to the bed along side of me, took my hand in hers. I felt her hand tremble with rage as she slowly spoke to me.

"Kristen, we found blood on your uncle and your father. Samples were taken and the crime lab positively identified the blood as belonging to you. There is positively no way the blood could not have gotten onto them, unless they had sexual intercourse with you. All other traces of DNA evidence is now waiting to be tested, and as soon as the results are back, we will have a better picture as to all who may have been involved in the assault on you. I promise you, Officer Todd and I will cross every "T" and dot every "I" when we present our findings to the DA's office. We will make sure to convey to the DA, no deals, but you and your mother must also make that fact known. You must be brave and you also must be strong to face whatever is put before you until after all this is done. I don't make promises I can't keep, but this is one promise I know we can keep. Now I want you to make me a promise, can you do that for me Kristen?"

Looking into Officer Richardson's eyes really for the first time, I saw a pair of baby blue eyes that looked full of compassion and caring, a look that under different circumstances would want you to smile and be happy. Nodding my head, "Yes Officer Richardson, what would you like for me to promise you?"

"Kristen, after all this is over, I want you to promise me you will put all this behind you and rebuild your life. I know you will need some help, but the help is only as good as you let it be, you have to also put forth the time and energy and fight for it. Don't let what those men did to you rule and ruin your life forever, can you look at me and make that promise to me also?

As I laid there in my bed, I noticed everyone looking at me, waiting for me to answer Officer Richardson. Looking back into her eyes, I reached out with both arms, pulling her in for a hug, "Yes, I will make that promise to you. I won't let them get the better of me."

Officer Richardson, then pulled out a business card from her shirt pocket, then reached back and snapped her fingers at Officer Todd, who immediately put her card in my hand, "If need to talk to either one of us, here are our numbers, call anytime, and as soon as we can, we will get back to you." Officer Todd, unless you have any more questions, I think this young lady needs her beauty sleep, and your ugly face is keeping her awake, let's get out of here." They both waved and smiled as they walked out of the room.

Dr. Hart asked if I felt I needed another shot to relax me. I thanked her, telling her that I didn't feel like I needed the shot, but wanted to spend a little time with my mother so we could talk. As she was walking out the door, she turned, "Just call the nurse if you change your mind and need a little help getting some needed rest." And then she was gone.

For the first time all day, I saw a real smile forming on my mother's lips as sat beside me, taking my hands into hers.

"Honey, I know it's going to be tough for you, but I want to make arrangements with my sister so that you can go and stay with her for a while, to give me a chance to get us another home, and get all of our stuff moved. I don't want you to go back and have any memories of what happened in that house.

Before I was released from the hospital, my soon to be therapist came in and introduced herself to me. She said her name was MS Maggie Proctor. I kind of chuckled within myself hearing her refer to herself as MS Maggie Proctor. Not to many people I knew referred to themselves as MS. Just seeing her standing beside my bed, I'm guessing she was about five feet nine inches tall, about two inches taller than my mother. She had dirty blond hair, cut short, maybe two inches long. Enough to comb, but not enough to do anything else with. She had what I would call an average type body, not to large, but she was definitely not petite. She had the breasts I could only dream about, they looked so full within her blouse, but not to the point that they were only thing you would notice about her. Since this was the first time I had seen MS Proctor, she wore very little makeup just around the eyes. In a way, I kind of liked it. She looked very pretty, but not over bearing.

She sat and we talked for maybe about an hour, just getting to know one another I suppose. She asked me about school and what I thought about the kids I went there with. She asked me if I was interested in any sports and if I participated in any of them. I think I was more or less expecting a nerdy type person, someone who felt they knew all the answers, but made you answer them yourself, but found myself liking her very much. I felt like I could talk to her, and if something was puzzling me, I felt she was sneaky in her own way that would lead me to the answer I needed, maybe not what I wanted, but definitely needed. She had set it up that I would meet with her twice a week in her office, then depending on how things progressed, maybe start working me into some group sessions.

Just as we were about to finish up for the day, my mother came into the room. I said, "Mom, this is my therapist, MS Maggie Proctor, Ms Proctor, this is my mother Helen Waterston, soon to be Miss Helen Miller. I noticed that sideways glance my mother gave me, as she stepped around to shake MS Proctors hand, but it still made me smile a little.

"Please, I want you both to just call me Maggie. I want to give you both my card with my office number, but on the back is my home number and personal cell number should you feel an emergency rise and need some immediate help with.

Well, that was over two and a half years ago, and now here I sit, starring out my window, watching the drops of water slowly making their way down the glass, some appear to be creating their own path, and some, joining the path of others and moving on together. I guess in my own mind, I was the one creating my own path, and kind of doing things my way. Somewhere I read that memories are like the bubbles in a glass of soda, they appear somewhere at the bottom of the glass, rise to the surface, only to burst and be forgotten. The trouble was my little memory bubble never burst, so it was never forgotten.

And now here I sit, a little older, and in some ways a lot wiser. Seems my mother found some fertilizer and laced my food with it since I grew about six inches in those two and half years. My butt turned out, I think rather nicely and at least my chicken legs filled out making me look really sexy from the waist down. My little bumps did manage to grow out to a nice firm C cup. I keep my auburn hair about shoulder length. I feel that it gives me some options, wear it up, or down, depending on my mood for the day, hell, sometimes for the whole week, especially if I'm on my period. If mom walked into a room where I was, hair down and unkempt, she'd just turn and walk out knowing today was not the day to be around me.

Drawing little sad and happy faces on the window, I remember Maggie telling me towards the end of my sessions with her, that I never would really forget that terrible afternoon, but it would be more like how I accepted it as a part of my own life, and what I really needed was to find something worth fighting for, I would then be able to deal with it on my own terms. Well, after hearing the judge sentence all four men to twenty plus years, and they all were to pay restitution, like that was going to happen while in prison. I couldn't hug Officer Richardson or Officer Todd too hard or long enough for keeping their promise to me.

Every now and then, I get a phone call from Officer Richardson, wanting to know how I am doing on keeping my promise to her. I tell her that it's going slow, but I am getting better. She knows all the help Maggie has as given me, and the support I received from family and friends, like her and Officer Todd made all the difference in the world. She told me that Officer Todd had found herself someone she thinks very special of. She wouldn't let on to who this person might be, but that would be Officer Todd's decision to tell me when she felt the time was right. Funny how some drops seem to form with others and move on together, where like Officer Richardson and myself seem to make our own path.

Tonight was supposed to be the first school dance this year. Being a lowly freshman, I guess we were expected to show up so the upper classmates would have fun poking at us, and tell us what goof balls we all were. I never intended on going in the first place, but my mother soon squashed that idea. She had volunteered to attend the dance tonight and be one of the chaperones. We argued back and forth about the whole idea of her being there, and of course, of me going in the first place. I told her no way was she going to be spying on me, checking out who I talked to, if I talked to anyone. She promised me that in no way was she even going to be looking for me, until it was time to go home.

Both of us being hard headed, neither was willing to give in, but being my mother, she also had the final say. I knew if she put her foot down, I would have no choice, but felt like she held it back, just to give me a chance go on my own without being forced. Either way, I was being forced, either by feeling so guilty I had to accept, or by being hog tied and dragged to it anyway. Goddam my mother, she never plays fair.

The dance was to start in three hours, and my mother promised me she would take me anywhere I wanted to go to eat before we went to the dance. I suppose I should get up and take a shower and start getting ready. With a sly grin, I was going to make her pay for doing this to me, so I had planned on us going to the most expensive restaurant in town tonight. She may have won this battle, but I was going to make sure I got in at least one good jab.

The restaurant was all that it was advertised to be, service was impeccable, and the ambiance was actually to die for. The food however, was something altogether different. What looked like two twigs on a plate with some kind of sauce poured over it, was supposed to be the appetizer. The entr£Æ, was another matter, one little slice of meat, a potato no bigger than my thumb, and a baby carrot. How was a growing girl like me supposed to eat this and be satisfied for the evening? I believe my little jab turned out to be a kick in the butt, my butt to be exact. Why can't I come out ahead on something, just for once?

As we got to the door, my mother told me that she would meet me here at eleven PM when the dance was officially over. With a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, we then went in and each to our separate ways. I was standing off to one side on the far end of the auditorium, actually it was as far away from my mother as I could get, without leaving the building. I was standing there, against the wall, watching the other students milling around, some nodding their heads in recognition as they passed, but for the most part I was being content alone. I guess I wasn't really paying all that much attention close to me, when a voice broke my train of thought next to me.

"Your secret is safe with me!"

Turning quickly to my right, stood a girl, maybe an inch shorter than myself, with silky long blond hair, and a pair of baby blue eyes, I could swear I've seen them somewhere before. She was a little on the petite side, but did have what appeared beautiful breasts. Her clothes were not very tight, but you could see she did have a slim waist, and hips that flared out perfectly.

"What do you mean my secret is safe with you, I don't have any secrets?"

"I just wanted you to know that your secret is safe with me, just in case I decided that I liked you enough to let you become my friend."

"Like I said, I don't have any secrets, and who said I even wanted a friend, much less be your friend!" I started to turn and walk away, when she called out...

"Kristen!"

Stopping dead in my tracts, I turned and glared at her, trying to place her. I couldn't. I had no idea who this girl was, but she knew me. I slowly walked up to her, stood directly in front of her.

"How do you know my name? I've never seen you before, so I have no idea who you are. How do you know me?"

"I read the papers a lot, I like reading crime reports and court cases. Sometimes I work in the front office at school, doing odd and end jobs. I came across a form one day that had your name on it, but it wasn't the name you use now. It was your old name, Watterson. I know you are now Kristen Miller. I know you have a secret, and it's safe with me. Besides, if I were actually a guessing type person, I would say that you were forced to come here tonight, it really doesn't look like your first choice of where you wanted to be tonight."

"No, you are right, I do have a secret and yes, this is not really my first choice of where I would like to be tonight, and yes, I was more like coerced into coming tonight. Do you see that lady near the front door, the one wearing the red blouse and white slacks, she is my mother, and she's the one who dragged me here."

"Do you see the lady with the grey sweater and black slacks? She is my mother! Do you think they may have conspired together to get us both here? I just may have to kill my mother if that were true."

"You can go and kill her if you like, but if your still thinking of being my friend, I'll tell you now, I don't do jail visits."

As we turned and faced each other, I saw a faint smile form on her lips. She stuck out her hand, taking mine in hers, "I'm Abby, Abby Hart, and that lady I pointed out is Mary, my mother."

"That name, Hart? I know that name from somewhere, I'm just not sure where now? You already know my name, Kristen Miller, and that lady I pointed out is Helen Miller, my mother."

"Let's sit down and talk, since we both aren't going anywhere soon. Let me ask you, does the name Michelle Hart ring any bells?"

"Wait a minute, yes, I do know that name, she was the one in the hospital that examined me when they brought me in. The first doctor that came in, I wouldn't let him get anywhere near me. She came in, and talked to me. I thought she was really nice. I never did get to thank her for all that she did for me."

"Dr. Michelle Hart is my dad's sister. Seems doctor's kind of run in the family on my father's side. My father, his father and mother were also doctors, as is my aunt."

"Damn, talk about being in a small world, I would have never thought it was this small."

"Let me tell you, it's about to get a lot smaller."

"How so?"

"Do you recognize the name Alex Richardson?"

"Yes, she was the detective who worked on my case. She calls me every once in a while to see how I am doing."

"If you knew her as well as I did, you would know she can be a real bitch, while not even try too hard at it."

Just like a light being switched on, it came to me. Those baby blue eyes, now I know where I had seen them before. "You have the same eyes as Officer Richardson, the detective?"

"Yeah, the one and the same. She is my mother's sister. Alexandra Abbigail Richardson, the one I am also names after, Abby, short for Abbigail. She thinks that since I also have her middle name, gives her the right to make more rules for me then my own mother does."

Looking at Abby in the eyes, "Don't you dare say anything bad about Officer Richardson, she promise to me the assholes who raped me would spend the rest of their miserable lives in prison, and she kept that promise, so don't you dare say anything that would get back to me, or your dead."

As we sat looking at one another, Abby slowly lowered her head, then looking back into my eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I mean I really didn't know she was the one who worked your case to make sure those bastards paid for what they did. I was just razzing on her, just like we do with our rents. I love Alex to death and wouldn't trade her as an aunt for anyone in the world."

"You said something about razzing the rents, what are rents? I've heard another girl use that same expression, "rents", what does it mean?"

As Abby sat back in her chair and was holding her stomach while laughing her ass off, I was becoming a little peeved, trying to figure out what I was missing.

"Kristen. It's sometimes how we refer to our parents, get it "pa rents". Instead of saying the whole word, we just cut it short and call them rents. Don't you dare say it in front of my parents, they hate it with a passion at least that is what they want me to think, but I know they are smiling when they think I'm not looking."

"I need to ask you, do you know, or are you somehow related to Maggie Proctor?"

"No, I have no idea who that would be, should I be, or do I want to know her?"

"Oh, ok. She was my therapist that helped me after my incident, I was just wondering if this world was going to get any smaller, that's all. She is really good, if you like I could introduce you to her, she just might help you understand how weird your brain really is."

We both giggled a little, then for the next two hours or so, we talked about music, clothes. We told each other what we thought we wanted to do the rest of our lives. She thought she was going following in her father's footsteps and becoming a doctor, I told her I was maybe thinking of getting into law enforcement, and maybe becoming a detective, just like her aunt, and try and put all the bad guys in prison where they belonged. We talked about our classes, seeing how we were in the same school, and the same grade, we never met before this evening.

We did discover that our lockers were almost next to each other's, hers was three eighteen and mine was three twenty six. I found out we lived about four blocks from one another, we both had pools in the back yard, but she had a large game room. I also found out she had a brother. Well, not every family is perfect, but she did say that for a brother, he was well trained. We never did discuss anything about boys or dating, but she did tell me she wasn't really interested in boys, She said that to her, boys were so immature and any thought of kissing one or even holding their hand made her sick to her stomach.

Before we knew it, we heard the DJ announce he was about to play the last song for the evening, and everyone should have the last dance. Before I knew what was going on, Abby grabbed my hand and was pulling me onto the dance floor. I tried telling her I had no idea how to dance and I wasn't going to make a fool out of myself. She wouldn't hear any or what I was saying as she put her hands on my hips, as the song started playing. I remember it very well, it was Carrie Underwood, Forever Change. We stood there, hands on each other's hips swaying side to side, looking into each other's eyes. For the first time that I could remember, it felt good to be this close to someone. After talking all evening, it's almost like we knew each other forever. When the song ended, Abby took my hand and started walking towards the front entrance. For only a very brief second, I thought it strange that she was still holding my hand, but the warmth and security I felt, stopped me from letting go of her hand.

Walking up the our parents who were waiting patiently for us, Abby called out to her mother, "Mom, I want you to meet a friend of mine, this is Kristen, Kristen, this is my mother Mary, and I am sure you know this other lady also standing here in front of us."

"Why I do believe so, I would think her name is Helen, Helen, I would also like for you to meet my friend, Abby." Both of us gave a little giggle, as our parents, at the same time, tried to acknowledge our greetings. After what seemed like a long silence, I slipped from Abby's fingers, walked over to her mother, Mrs. Hart, it is very nice to meet you, and I truly hope we get to know one another better in the months to come. Out of the corner of my eye, I could almost see my mother catch her breath, not for one minute believing just what came out of my mouth, but more precisely, how it came out.

Abby, not to be out done, walked over to my mother, "Miss Miller, I am also honored to make your acquaintance, and likewise, we also get to know one another better in the months to come.

I believe both our mothers were a bit shocked at the two of us, being really just kids, but acting very much adult like. I knew I was going to be hearing this for the next few weeks, "I told you so." It might be true, but she'll never get me to admit in, even in my dying breath.

"Mom, you know, there's no school tomorrow, can we stop and maybe get a hamburger or something, and I bet if Abby pleads nice and hard, Mrs. Hart I bet would love to join us, huh, what do you say?"

"Yeah mom, can we join Kristen and her mom, pretty please, I'll even clean the pool tomorrow?"

"I don't know Abby dear, maybe Helen just wants to go home and get to bed, it's has been a long day."

"No, that is ok, it would be nice if the two of you could join us Helen. At least I'll have a little adult company while we get something to eat, I'm kind of hungry also."

"Oh! Alright, there is a little place down on Fourth Street that serves really good food. Why don't we meet there, say in thirty minutes?

"Sounds good, we'll see you there, are you ready to go pumpkin?" Mrs. Hart asked.

"Yes mom, let's go then."

On the way over there, I was asked if I had enjoyed myself, and reluctantly I had to admit that I did have a good time. She also asked what all we talked about, and if I felt like Abby and I could be friends. I told her that Abby seemed really nice, and yes, I did want to be friends with her.

After we all sat down and ordered, Abby and I of course got ourselves lost in our own conversations, as our mothers were fully engaged with themselves. Sitting there, talking and laughing with Abby, I felt for the first time in my life that I enjoyed being around someone. I began feeling a closeness with Abby. I really didn't understand it, or even know how to ask myself why. I just felt safe with the feeling that I wanted to be near her all the time. When talking and making a point, we would touch each other on the forearm, or rest a hand on top of the others hand, and while doing this, it kind of made my bond with Abby grow stronger. When it came time for everyone to leave, I almost felt like wanted to grab onto Abby, and not let her go. I did give her a hug and a squeeze as we were standing in the parking lot.

As my mother put her arm across my shoulders as we walked together back to our car, a sadness washed over me, but quickly disappeared, knowing we were going to be seeing each other soon.

On Monday, as I walked to my locker, there stood Abby waiting for me. This became a normal routine, either me waiting for her or her waiting for me. When I wasn't home with my mom, I was at Abby's home, and thankfully Mrs. Hart knew my mother was a single working mom, and accepted me into their home, treating me like a second daughter. I know she and my mom talked often on the phone, because she said it was ok if I took some of my clothes and left them at Abby's house. The nights that I spend with Abby were some of the best times ever for me. Some nights as we slept together, I could feel my emotions rising for Abby. After she would fall asleep, I would snuggle up to her, and peacefully fall asleep. On the mornings that I was wrapped around Abby, she never really said anything, but would always have a smile on her face. This went on for the rest of the school year, and through the summer months.

During the summer between our sophomore and junior year, things really started to change for me, when I was invited to spend the weekend up in the mountains with them at their summer cabin near the end of our summer vacation. After we had gotten there, unpacked and Abby and I went out exploring, I began to notice little changes in Abby. It was the way she would look at me. When she would put her hand on my arm, she would leave it there, not really pulling away as she normally would, and while she had her hand on my arm, or on top of my hand, she would be looking at me, like she was seeing into me. Sometimes when we were just walking, she would wrap her arm around my waist, pulling me in close. She did this more and more, I too was looking at her differently. I was almost craving the touch, sometimes I would grab her hand and hold it. When I would notice Mrs. Hart looking at me holding Abby's hand I would pull away, feeling a blush rising within me.

After we had gotten back from our weekend trip, I thought that it was probably the mountain air and all would return to normal, especially with school starting in two weeks. During those two weeks, Abby and I really didn't get to spend too much time together, with her going to visit with her grandparents, and me getting myself ready for school.

Abby didn't return home from her grandparents until the day before school, so I really didn't get to see her until we met up at our lockers, which by then we conned our way into getting lockers side by side. The moment I laid eyes on Abby, standing waiting for me at the locker, all the feelings I had been suppressing flooded back into me. My pulse quickened, my palms became damp with sweat, and I could feel the juices from my pussy beginning to soak my panties. I took a deep breath, and continued walking towards Abby, greeting her with my biggest smile. When she jumped wrapping her arms around me, the rush went straight to my head, making me nearly passing out. I hugged her back, but not too tightly, afraid if I did, I wouldn't let go. I slowly pushed her back, reaching for my locker, needing a minute to collect my thoughts and catch my breath. She started telling me about her visit to her grandparents, and all the things she did while there. I nodded, saying very little, but at the appropriate times, mumbled a "yeah" or "really." About this time, the bell rang, letting me get away to head to my first class.

Over the next couple of months, I avoided Abby as much as I dared. I wanted to be near her, but at the same time, I was increasingly drawn to her. At night when I lay in bed, my thoughts were always going back to Abby, no matter how hard I tried not to think of her. I was almost always in a constant state of arousal, I sometimes had to change my panties two, three times a day. I'd wake up in the morning, my panties, and bed would be soaked. I was afraid my mother would smell like I just had sex or something.

One day, just before Thanksgiving, we were standing in the hall way, she was holding both my hands in hers telling me that she was making plans for us to be together over the holidays. Later after one of my classes, a classmate approached and asked if Abby and I were lovers, and if I was really a lesbian. I was mortified, and vividly denied us being lovers or that I was even a lesbian. It was at this time, I seemed to cut off all communications with Abby. I refused to return her calls. My mother asked if anything was wrong, saying, "I talked to Helen, and she says Abby is frantic, trying to get in touch with you, but you won't call her or anything."

"No mom, everything is fine, I'm just really busy this year with school, that's all." I felt like she knew I was lying, but thought better to not interfere between Abby and myself.

The day before the holidays, Abby caught me in the hallway to remind me of our get together on Friday after Thanksgiving.

"Abby, my mother has something that came up and we'll be out of town and I won't be able to make it, I'm sorry, but I just found out about it last night." I felt she knew I was lying, but I had to say something to get out of going to her house.

"Ok Kristen! Are you sure everything is alright with you. You have been acting very strange lately. Is there anything I can do?"

"No Abby, it's just some problems I'm trying to work out at home. Thanks for asking anyway."

All through the holidays, all I did was lay in my bed crying. Whenever my mom came to see what was wrong I would tell her, "I have bad migraine, and it hurts a lot. I'll be alright, it gets like this every once in a while."

"Are you sure honey, I'll take to the ER if you need me to."

"No mom, I just want to be left alone, it will be ok by tomorrow."

"Ok, but if it's this bad tomorrow, we are going to the ER, like it or not!"

On Monday as I was slowly making my way to my first class, Abby stepped in front of me. Her lips were pressed tightly, her eyes were ablaze with raw anger.

"Abby..."

"Don't Abby me," as she cut me off to whatever I was about to say. "Look, if you don't want to be friends anymore, at least you could have had the common decency to at least tell me to my face. I know you were home all weekend, I drove by several times and both your cars were in the driveway. If you don't want to be friends, that's fine," as she reached up, ripping off the necklace with an engraved heart "To Abby, your best friend Kristen", that I gave her last Christmas and threw it hitting me in the chest. I watched as it fell to the floor.

As she turned to walk away, I screamed, "NO", dropping my books, turning and started running, bumping into a couple students who gathered to see what all the commotion was about, knocking a couple of them aside as I ran to the exit as fast as I could run. I hit the doors and kept running, leaving my car in the parking lot, running home. I was sobbing and running, my lungs began to burn, but I never slowed down.

As I got to the house, I yanked the keys from my pocket, opening the door, running into the living room, falling on the sofa, I was nearly out of breath, I was sobbing, trying to catch my breath, and all I could do was lay there, between gasps of breath, wailing in my own self misery. All I wanted to do was die to stop the hurt in my heart, and the pain I felt I caused everyone close to me.

After a few minutes, I reached into my back pocket, pulling my cell phone out, hitting speed dial to call Maggie, her private cell number she gave me to call if ever there was an emergency. She answered her phone on the second ring, and all I could get out was a sob, "Maggie, help me please!" I started sobbing again, gasping for breath, "I need your help, please!"

"Kristen, what's wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt? Talk to me baby."

"I screwed up everything. Everyone is going to hate me. I need for you to help me."

"Where are you Kristen, are you home?" The sound of her voice showing real concern.

"Yes I am home..." As I began to cry again even harder, knowing now that my mother is also going to hate me for what I have become. As I lay there crying harder and harder each second, I heard her telling someone to pick me up and bring me to her office.

"Kristen, a good friend of mine is coming by to pick you up, she drives a Yellow Cab, and her name is Betty, she said she will be there in a few minutes, hang on and talk to me, can you tell me what's happening."

All I could do at the moment was lay there, crying and sobbing into the phone, repeating over and over, "Everyone hates me!"

I have no idea how long it was, but suddenly, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, turning me over onto my back, and a deep voice saying, "It's ok sugar, ole Betty has you now and is gonna take good care of you and get you to see Maggie."

She took the phone from me, then telling Maggie that we should be there in about twenty minutes. She turned off my cell, then helped me up, slowly walking me to the door, which I left wide open and the keys still hanging in the lock. Betty had locked up the house, then walked me out to the car.

I sat silently in the passenger seat as we drove towards Maggie's office. Once there, Betty, a large black woman, helped me out of the car, and half carried me into the building and to Maggie's waiting room. Sara, her receptionist, told Betty to take me directly into Maggie's office.

I sat in one of the chairs, while Maggie was talking to Betty, thanking her for coming so fast to help me.

Maggie pulled her other chair up close, our knees were touching. She took my hands in hers, "Kristen, what has happened that has you so upset?"

"Everyone hates me!"

Sara, Maggie's receptionist then came into the office and told Maggie that she got ahold of my mother and that she would be here shortly.

I began to panic, yelling "No! No! You can't let her see me, you can't let her know." I was about to stand and run again, when Maggie, along with Sara's help held me down.

Maggie took my face in her hands and firmly said, "Kristen, you have to calm down and tell me what is so bad you can't even tell your mother?"

"She'll think I'm a fucking dyke, just like everyone else does." My tears again started flowing. I saw Maggie give a silent nod to Sara, who discreetly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Kristen, why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what happened, ok honey."

I told Maggie about my trip with Abby to the mountains, and how I felt things were starting to change between the two of us. I told her how I was constantly aroused whenever I was near her, and how I couldn't stop thinking of her. I told her how the girl at school saw us holding my hands and asked if we were lovers and if I was a fucking dyke. I told her how I kept blowing off Abby, until today when she confronted me, telling me she was no longer my friend, and threw the necklace I gave her for Christmas at me. I said that she must have figured out I was a fucking dyke, and now she too hates me.

"Kristen, I am going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to look at me, not at the floor, but look at me! Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Wiping my eyes, biting my lower lip.

"Ok, have you told Abby how you feel?

"No not really, but she must have figured it out somehow."

"If you didn't tell her Kristen, how would she have figured it out if you told me you had limited contact with her?"

"I don't know, but she did!"

"Tell me Kristen, what exactly did she say to you?"

"She said that since I lied to her, and I didn't have the guts to tell her to her face I didn't want to be friends, then we were finished with each other."

"So maybe she really doesn't know, does she?"

Stopping to think about it for a minute, "Well, maybe not, looking at it that way."

"Now let me ask you this, does being who or what you are scare you more than what you really feel about being a lesbian, or is it what others might think of you?"

"I guess it's more what others are thinking, I hear them talking about other girls who they think are lesbians and what they say about them."

"People are going to talk, no matter what. Some do it out of meanness, some do it because they have nothing better to talk about. If you are a lesbian, you are going to meet people on both sides of the fence, some will hate you, some will accept you as you are, and others will not care one way or the other. You'll lose some friends, yet gain others who will support you. In the end, who and what you are, is more important than what others will think of you. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?

"Yes, I'm beginning to. It's what's in my heart that matters, not what's on other peoples' minds."

"Exactly, you have the strength to overcome this, as you have overcame your other traumatic experiences. Because of the strength within you, I know you are going to also win over this one too! I think it's time to call your mother in give her some peace letting her know you are really ok, think you're up to it?"

As I sat in Maggie's office, maybe feeling a little better about myself and starting to make a little sense about what I may or may not have been feeling, my mother slowly walks into the office. I knew Sara had called her, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew she would show up, but I guess it was maybe expected, being I was just a minor child, and was the sole responsibility of my mother.

As she came over to where I was sitting, she leaned down, giving me a hug. Her favorite necklace, slipped free of her blouse and bumped my chest as we hug. Standing back up, she tucked her necklace back into her blouse and sat next to me on the sofa.

Maggie asked, "Kristen, would you like to tell your mother why you're here today? If you like, I'll tell her, but I think it should come directly from you."

Biting my lower lip, dropping my shoulders, I looked at Maggie, then slightly turned my head looking at my mother.

"Kristen dear, you know you can tell me anything you want. You are my daughter, and you know I love you very much. So why don't you just take a deep breath and tell me what has you so troubled."

Looking over at Maggie, she gave me a slight nod of her head, as if telling me it was ok to tell mom everything that was making me so confused. I turn a little more towards my mother, taking both her hands in mine...

"Mom, I didn't really know what I wanted, but for the past month or so, I guess I fully began to realize I was in love with Abby. I'm not sure how she feels, and to tell you the truth, I am scared to tell her. She might think I've reverted back to being a true nut case, and not wanting me near her anymore. I didn't want to tell her, thinking she would start hating me, telling her parents and all of them hating me."

"Honey, ever since that dance you went to and met Abby, I've watched the two of you grow closer and closer. By Christmas of that year, you both seemed to be joined at the hip, where you saw one, the other was there. All the mischief you had gotten into, it was hard to tell who was really the instigator, you or Abby. Mary and I have had a few long talks about the two of you. We weren't really positive, but we both felt that there just might be more between the two of you then two young women being close friends."

Looking into my mother's eyes, "You mean you and Mrs. Hart knew we might be a lesbians, and you both never said anything to either of us?

"Like I said, we had our suspicions, but that was for you and Abby to figure out on your own. Lord knows what either of you would have done if we just asked you both directly. That is not something someone can tell you what is or isn't. It has to come from within. It's not just a fantasy, it's something you have to accept as being a real part of yourself. Sometimes It can be hard to live with, but if it comes from within yourself, and accepting it as being who and what you are, then living the life as a lesbian becomes much easier."

"Does Mrs. Hart think Abby is also a lesbian?"

"Honey, we only had our suspicions, we have thought you both were sexually active with each other, but we really didn't know for sure. That is something you and Abby have to figure out on your own and with each other. I guess what I am telling you, if you really are a lesbian, and if you are going to be sexually active, then I wouldn't want it with anyone other than you and Abby. I'm not speaking for Mary, but if she were here this instant, I feel she would say the very same thing."

Leaning towards my mom, I wrapped my arms around her neck hugging her tightly.

"Mom, you know I love you very much, but maybe I haven't said it often enough. I love Mrs. Hart like a mother also, but you are the bestest mom in the whole world."

Maggie then came around from behind her desk, leaning down, she also gave me a hug as I was hugging my mom. As she gave me a hug, I felt something bump the side of my neck. Turning my head, I saw a necklace hanging from around her neck. I pulled away from my mother and reached up and took the necklace in my hand, to study it. Just as I got a good look at it, Maggie grabbed it, pulling it from my fingers and replacing it back inside of her blouse.

"No, wait a minute..." Standing, I again reached inside of Maggie's blouse, pulling the necklace from its confines, holding it in my fingers. Reaching down with my other hand, I pulled my mother's necklace from within her blouse. With both necklaces in my hands, I looked from one to the other, back and forth studying them both.

My mother's shoulders dropped as she lowered her head, biting her lower lip. Maggie spoke first, "Kristen, it's not what you really think."

"No Maggie, I don't know what to think, but I know what I am thinking. You always told me to put my worst fears out there, no matter what they may be, making it easier to see them and deal with them. Now it's your turn to practice what you always preached to me, and do the same."

"Kristen honey, sit down here and let me try and explain what happen."

Sitting down beside my mother, Maggie pulled one of her chairs up, and was sitting in front of the both of us. My mother straighten up her shoulders, lifted her head, looked at me, then looked over at Maggie, who again gave a slight nod, as if saying, go ahead and tell her.

"Kristen, about 6 months after the incident, I was having some troubles, both dealing with what had happen, and to be honest, with life itself. I came to Maggie, told her I was having some issues in life, and since she knew our family situation and history, if she would take me on as a patient, and maybe help me also. I started seeing Maggie once a week after that, and to tell you the truth, she helped me immensely." My mother stopped, looked at Maggie, then taking a deep breath she went on to say;

"I think it was on a Monday, after dropping off a client, I stopped at my favorite restaurant for some lunch, when I saw Maggie and another woman exit the restaurant. I was about to shout out to Maggie, when suddenly I saw that she was holding the others woman's hand in hers. As I sat there watching them both, I saw them kiss each other, and it wasn't one of those sisterly kisses, but a full blown out lover's kiss."

I looked over at Maggie, and I swear I seen her turn five different shades of red with embarrassment. Stifling my giggles, I turned my attention back to my mother.

As my mother continued her story; "I was upset, I wasn't sure what was going on, but the scene upset me. I watched as both got into their cars and left. I know neither saw me, but soon after they left, I left also, not really feeling hungry. I drove around for the next hour or so, trying to make sense of what I saw."

Taking another deep breath; "I finally stopped and called Maggie's office, talking to Sara, I canceled my next appointment for the coming Thursday with her, telling her something came up and I need to take care of it, and would call back to make an appointment at another time. Needless to say, my mind was in a turmoil for the next several days. Thankfully, you were occupied with Abby, so I really didn't have to worry about you seeing me upset."

"I'm sorry, I didn't even notice you being upset. I suppose I was to self-centered with my own problems to notice." Trying to console my mother.

"After many sleepless nights, almost screwing up a sale, on a Monday while sitting in my office, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was jealous of you Kristen, because you seemed so happy and content just being with Abby. I was angry at Maggie, not for kissing that girl. I was angry because it wasn't me that she was kissing. It dawned on me that I was in love with Maggie. Laugh if you want to, but deep down I knew I was in love with her."

You could see she was about to start crying, when I reached out and handed her a tissue.

After wiping her eyes dry, again she continued; "I had no idea how she felt about me, and at the time, I really didn't think it through. I called her office, and told Sara that I needed to see Maggie now, that it was the upmost importance. I told her it would only take a few minutes of her time, but it needed to be now. After she put me on hold for a few minutes, she came back on and said that Maggie could give me fifteen minutes at three thirty."

Looking over at Maggie, I could see a smile starting to grow on her lips. I suppose it brought back some fond memories.

"At three twenty, I was sitting in her office, waiting for her to finish up with her patient. After her patient left, a few minutes later, Sara told me to go ahead and enter Maggie's office. I sat down in front of her, sitting very straight in that chair she is sitting in now, and told her that I could no longer be a patient of hers."

"She had this really sad look on her face, her lower lip seem to quiver a little, as she picked up a pen to write something down in her ledger, she asked, why I didn't want to see her any longer as a patient, did I do something that upset you?"

"I sat there for a minute, fighting to keep up my nerve to finish what I just started. Either I was going to walk out of here, a very happy woman, or one that needed to find a new therapist and quickly."

"I told her yes and no! I can't see you as your patient any longer because of our present relationship I now have being your patient. I can't ask you to join me for dinner tonight, as your patient, I would never be able to tell you that I have feelings towards you, and hopefully maybe you might have some feelings towards me."

"The room got deadly quite, she just sat there, holding the pen in her hand, yet not writing. The thumping noises I was hearing, was my heart beating in my chest. I kept rubbing my sweaty palms back and forth over my knees, trying to dry them. I began to feel I just made the biggest mistake in my life, screwing up everything over a feeling I was totally unsure about in the first place. After what seemed like an eternity, Maggie laid the pen down, laced her fingers together in front of her, while leaning back in her chair, she asked, what brought all this on? How do you even know I might be interesting in women? More importantly, how do you know if you're even ready for something like this?"

"Composing my thoughts, I told her about seeing her kissing the woman in the parking lot of the restaurant. I told her that it wasn't a kiss you gave a sister or even the next door neighbor, but of a lover. I told her that it made me angry, not kissing the woman! I was angry she wasn't kissing me. I wanted to be the one in her arms. I was jealous. I also told her I had no guarantees that I was ready for this, but I did need to know if this was where I really wanted to be, and I asked her if she was willing to take a chance with me."

"I tried to explain that as far as I was concerned, it was real, and it was definitely what I wanted in my mind and heart. She leaned back in her chair, laid her hands flat on the desk and told me to be at the New Moon Restaurant at seven PM sharp. When I looked at her, she had this little grin, then added, I also have feelings for you, but because you were a patient, and plus the fact I knew you were straight, I felt nothing could ever come of it. I am willing to give us both a chance to see where this would go."

"Well, we did meet that night, and though we started slow, it seemed we were getting together almost every other day. I was about a month or so later..."

"Do you remember the weekend Abby's parents took you up to a mountain cabin, and came back on the following Monday?"

"Yes, I remember that weekend. I think it was around that time, when I started looking at Abby a little differently. It was kind of like noticing little things, things that seem have an importance to me."

"Well, I had also planned a getaway, I checked us into a suite at the Biltmore Hotel. We had dinner served in the room, and that night we made love to each other. We stayed in the hotel until Sunday afternoon, never leaving the room once. We had all of our meals served to us in the room."

I looked over at Maggie, gave her a little smile, which made her start blushing again from head to foot. As she raised her hand to cover her face, I reached over and pulled her hand away, giving her my million dollar smile. In my heart I was very happy for my mother, but at that moment, I was also very happy for Maggie.

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