This story is about love between two males. It is not focused on purely sexual relationship, but may involve some sexually explicit scenes in further chapter. If you do not with to read such material, or you are not of legal age in your area, please return to the archive now.
OK, this is my first story. My friends liked it, so I decided to post it. Thanks to John and Adrienne for you support and editing expertise. Enjoy. -Matt-
Labored Love Chapter 4 This chapter was written by Ryan.
I am gay. I have been for a while. I had a friend named Jared, and we were also boyfriends. Jared died from an accident while playing soccer. I was devastated and my life was going down the drain. Mom moved us to a smaller city right outside the big city where we lived, it was Jared's hometown. Most people would probably think it was cruel for her to do that to me, but I wanted to live out here. Jared loved it and always said we would live here in a huge house with a bunch of animals, like monkeys, tigers, and a parrot. He loved the exotic. I was always at his grave when not in school, and I dropped off the swim team. That is another reason for moving here, I could visit his grave easier living not too far from it. My life was slowly becoming unbearable, especially when the summer came around.
We moved half way into the school year, around October. I was going to all my classes putting up a good front and making plenty of `friends'. Really I had every intention of taking my life that night. I was walking to one of my classes and I glanced down to see where I was headed. Math, the one class I could really look forward to. I was great in math, for some reason it just made sense to me. This was going to be a repeat of last year, and I had already started retaking it at my old school before I transferred. Well, I got into the class and there weren't many seats, I just sat down in one. The bell rang and the teacher came in. She introduced me, a few people seemed interested in getting to know me, a few girls batted their eyelashes. The teacher told me the guy sitting next to me was an excellent student, and he probably wouldn't mind helping me catch up if I found I wasn't at their level yet. The guy gave me a nod. He was cute, although he wouldn't look at me. When Mrs. Harpy, that is the math teacher, said that about helping me, the guy seemed like he turned a little red. Maybe he was shy. He was very cute, I guess maybe he was an introvert, so the idea of helping a total stranger made him nervous. Well class went on like it should and I found out he was definitely not quite. His name is Eric. He and Mrs. Harpy seemed fairly well acquainted, they would tease each other during the class. Mrs. Harpy would often get sidetracked and forget to say things or start talking as Eric continued his mission to confuse her further. If she kept going for a while without getting off task he would say something to make her forget everything she was saying. The class seemed to eat it up, I guess Mrs. Harpy was a favorite teacher here. Well Physics came around, this was a class I was worried about. I had skipped my science last year, and we had barely done anything at my old school besides reading out the book and writing down formulas. I was worried because I had heard the horrors of physics at this school from many other students. I walked into class and there he was again. I walked up to the teacher and I asked him what I was supposed to do. I noticed that many people were already paired up, two to a table. I figured Eric's partner hadn't gotten there yet, as many students also were sitting alone. Well Mr. Michaels told me I could be partners with Eric. Apparently he had volunteered to be the person that worked alone because of the odd number of students. Mr. Michaels was talking so just I could hear him.
"Eric is a very bright boy, but he seems to be a little shy."
"SHY?! You obviously have never seen him in math."
"Oh, so you've met?"
"Well yes and no. Mrs. Harpy volunteered him to bring me up to speed in math. He was teasing her all class."
"Yes, well he is a favorite among the faculty, and pretty well known in school, but he prefers to be alone. I don't know if you met his twin sister Erica, but they are complete opposites. She is very loud and outgoing. I guess they are the two halves to the perfect person."
"I never got to talk to him. He wouldn't look my way and he left right when the bell rang. He wasn't rude to me, so I figured he must be shy."
"Shy? I have never known him to be shy. Even though he keeps to himself, he is well know because he is very friendly. He talks to many people in the halls between classes, teachers and students alike. I don't think there is a person here that doesn't like him."
"Well that is very odd. I will have to be extra attentive to him."
"You do that. It would do him well to make a good friend. Just don't tell him I said that."
"Ok, I'll start right now." I walked over to him and put my bags down and sat in the chair beside him and he gave me a sideways glance. "Hey, I never got to talk to you in math today," I said as I held out my hand. He shook it while he said, "Yeah, I um^Å had to go to the bathroom after class ended."
"Well that is a real problem. My name is Ryan, but you probably heard Mrs. Harpy say that. Your name is Eric right?"
"Yeah."
He started to loosen up a little as we talked before the bell. I told him that Mr. Michaels suggested that we be lab partners. We were doing a lab that day and it was fairly easy. Physics wasn't so bad after all. Apparently those formulas were meant for something. He was walking me through every step because I told him my old physics class didn't cover anything. Really as soon as he had set up the equipment I knew what to do. I didn't let on that I knew what I was doing though. I let him tell me how to do everything. By the end of class we were talking and laughing. I asked him if he could explain what we were doing in Calculus, remembering that Mrs. Harpy had volunteered him to me, and he suggested we meet in the morning before the bell rang. I wanted so bad to ask him to come over or at least give him my phone number, but I didn't. I went home that night and totally forgot what I had planned to do, until I found the note I had written the night before. I burned the note. I knew I couldn't end my life, I had to go see a cute boy in the morning and pretend not to understand math so he could sit close to me and explain it.
Sit next to me and explain it is exactly what he did. When I got to school I looked around for him but couldn't spot him. I was walking around and bumped into a fairly good looking girl, the kind I might date if I liked girls at all.
"You look lost," this new person exclaimed.
"Oh, well yes and no. You see I am looking for a friend, and I don't know where he is."
"You don't know where your friend is in the morning? You must not know him that well then. I don't recognize you, and I make it a point to know all the cute guys. Are you new?"
"Yes. Today is my second day." I was getting a little tired of this girl because I wanted to find Eric. "Um, I need to keep looking for my friend."
"Tell you what, I'll help you find him. We can talk while we look. What is his name?"
"Eric."
"Eric? Like my height, good looking, kinda tanned, thin, and really friendly Eric?"
"You know him I see."
"Know him? I am his sister!"
"Oh, you're Erica. Mr. Michaels told me about you. He said you two were the two pieces of the perfect person or something. OOPS, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone he said that."
"It's ok. Eric and I both like Mr. Michaels. He is a cool guy. Now back to my brother. Why are you looking for him and since when are you two friends? Eric tells me everything and he has never mentioned you."
"He hasn't?" I said sounding a little sad.
"Why, does that offend you. Did you think you were something special?"
She sounded like she was getting mad at me and I didn't know why. I didn't do anything to her, and I don't like people to be mean to me.
"What's with the attitude. I thought I made a good impression on him yesterday. He said he would catch me up in math this morning before school."
"Oh, sorry. I am very protective of Eric. He is very easily hurt. I think that is why he doesn't make many close friends, so he doesn't have to be hurt when they find out he's^Å" She looked like she had just been stabbed in the back.
"When they found out he's what?"
"Nothing, he is sitting with his best friend Allison by the arts building. He will probably have a sketch pad out and be drawing. Don't tell him I talked to you, and don't repeat anything I said, or your voice might jump a pitch if ya catch my drift."
"Yeah, I understand." I had to back up a few steps. I knew she wasn't kidding with me.
I walked around to the arts building and sure enough there he was. He was sitting on a bench legs crossed and deep into whatever he was drawing. Next to him was a girl. She looked like a compliment of him. Fairly thing, very nicely dressed, dirty blonde hair falling on her shoulders, straight as could be. Eric himself is, as if one word could capture his essence, gorgeous. He is slender and nicely tanned, even in the winter. His hair was a darker dirty blonde, maybe he highlighted his hair? He wore shirts that showed of his perfect chest, not big and broad, but nice. His eyes were a silvery blue, when he finally started talking to me I saw them. I could barely focus on what I was doing when he looked at me, but his voice would bring me back. He probably thought I was a drooling idiot, but I couldn't help it. At least I didn't have much to do to convince him I had no clue what was going on in class. I started to walk over and his friend saw me. She looked stunned at first, then she whispered something in his ear. He kept the same posture and continued his drawing. I had stopped when she whispered to him. I saw his lips moving, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. His friend motioned for me to come over. When I was almost close enough to see what he was drawing he told me to stop. I stood there, really confused.
"This is my friend Allison," he said, although he was STILL drawing and unmoving. I couldn't see what it was he was sketching, but he looked determined to finish it. I don't think he even looked up to see me, though he did talk, mostly in whispers to Allison.
"He is almost done, then you can come take my place so you two can get to work." She was smiling as she looked at the picture. "DONE!" he proclaimed.
"And very well done," Allison said.
"Can I see?" I asked, he shot a look at me that let me know the answer was a definite, "NO."
"Sorry," he said as he tried a forgiving smile, "Allison is the only person that sees my work. Well her and my sister, but that doesn't count because she is my twin."
"Oh, you have a sister," I said remembering that I was not to tell of either of the conversations I had about her.
"Yeah, her name is Erica."
"You've probably seen her, she and Eric look so much alike it's hard to tell them apart," Allison said, "except Eric here doesn't have any breasts." With that she lifted his shirt to show off his pecs. Oh my God he had the perfect chest and stomach. His abs werent like stones, they were more rounded, an imprint of the sculpted bodies we as a society think of as perfect. He quickly pulled his shirt back down and gave Allison this look I can only describe in the words of Bill Engvall, "I will set you ablaze." She just started giggling and ran off to some other girls and shouted a nice to meet you' as she passed me.
"Come sit down," Eric said motioning to the spot Allison was sitting. "Ready to get almost a semester's worth of math in thirty minutes?"
More like Ready to pretend I am making out with you. I sat and listened to him, not hearing a word he was saying. I was just using this opportunity to get close to him. I would reach over him and point to the things I would ask about, brushing against his shoulder or letting my hand touch his. This was the only before school study session we had. I figured if I kept getting him to help me outside of school eventually he would catch on that I really didn't need the help. He continued to help me in class though.
One day Mrs. Harpy caught me before school started and asked to speak with me. I knew that my grades were excellent, I wasn't struggling, and I didn't break any rules to my knowledge, but I still felt extremely tense walking into her room.
"Sit down," she said motioning to the chair behind her desk. "I have noticed that you and Eric have been getting along quite well, and you may not have know this, but Mr. Michaels and myself are very good friends. We have been keeping tabs on the two of you. He says he sees the same thing in his class. You two are laughing and talking with each other like you've been friends since childhood. Although neither of us have seen you in the halls together. I know Eric very well and I am getting to know you."
She knows I'm gay. She must want me to leave Eric alone, afraid I will corrupt him. She must have been able to read the expression on my face, because she immediately said, "Don't worry, I'm not here to pass judgment or tell you how to behave. It is just that Mr. Michaels and I agree that, IF you were to open up a little more to Eric, WE believe that he would equally open up to you."
What is she saying?
"Eric is a very kind boy, very loving, very alone. He has secrets only Allison and Erica know for sure, and they would guard with their lives, but we know Eric fairly well and believe he trusts in you, but he would worry about being the first to tell of his feelings. There, that is all I am going to say, you are free to leave or stay and talk. It is your decision."
I sat there, very deep in thought for a few minutes, then I stood up, hugged Mrs. Harpy, and proceeded to leave. As I got to the door, I turned to her and said, "Thanks." She smiled at me approvingly and went to her work she had laid out on her desk before I came in.
I had a lot to think of. Starting that day I noticed little things that Mrs. Harpy and Mr. Michaels were doing. For example: Eric went to Mrs. Harpy to ask a question and her reply was, "Why don't you and Ryan put your heads together."
Since I met him, I had started going to visit Jared's grave less and less. Not because I stopped thinking about him, but because I felt happier inside and I didn't need to grieve as much. My mom noticed the difference too. She had never had a problem with me being gay. I came out to her the day Jared professed his love for me. She had never told me my uncle in California was gay. I had never met him. They were almost the same age, Mom was 43 and he was 42. Apparently their parents had kicked him out at eighteen when he told them. Mom was already living on her own and took him in. They were very close growing up, then he moved to California to pursue a career in acting. Mom said he did small parts, mostly extras and local commercials. It was a comfort though to have support from my mom. My dad left my mom when I was two years old. He was having an affair with too many women to count. You've probably heard the stories of airline pilots, well this is no different, so I won't waste time telling it. Jared came out to his parents after we dated for six months, and they were not fine with him being a "dick loving faggot." They sent him to therapy and forbid him from seeing me for a whole year. Of course that didn't work, but it made it difficult. My mom tried to talk to them, and she did manage a few visits. They agreed to let him come to my house for 3 to 4 hours while my mom kept the closest eye on us and made sure we were never out of sight. Mom's interpretation of that was, "Ok guys, I will be back from the store in 1 hour, maybe a little longer. Make it count, then we will watch a movie and I will cook you two a good meal." She is the greatest. Eventually his therapist told his parents they should look into seeing a psychiatrist for themselves, because Jared did not have problem. They told her they would simply send him to a different person that have a better moral fabric, and she told them she would call a social worker, who happened to be her sister's lover, and get him taken from them, because they were, "causing him to be emotionally and mentally tortured while living under their roof." They went to therapy and worked through their problems with his sexuality. All in all, it was about a year and a half before we were back to our normal dating situation again. He was the star soccer player on his high school's team, and I was a swimmer at my high school. We always went to each other's games and afterward we would go to a hamburger shop in his town. It was always quiet and empty. The workers there got used to seeing us, and one day asks how long we'd been dating . Not many people knew about us, a few from my school, less than three at his. My parents couldn't care less who knew, his made him keep it a secret. We both lead happy lives despite them.
On my trips to Jared's grave I started asking him if I was meant to be with Eric. I would tell him maybe he was meant to teach me love, but I was meant for Eric. That made me feel like it was my fault he died. Somehow I felt him there and I knew he didn't blame me. I also knew that even if I wasn't originally meant for Eric, he was giving us his blessings. I still felt very guilty about his death. You see, we never fought, but one day I asked if it was ok to bring a friend from my school to one of his games. He knew the guy I wanted to bring and claimed that I was cheating on him. He said that guy was out to get every guy he could and he wouldn't believe I had never done anything with him. I ended up hanging up on him and not going to his game at all. That night I got a call from a friend of ours that had gone. She said I needed to get to the hospital as fast as lightning strikes, and I was. He had tripped on the soccer ball because he was distracted, broke his neck on impact, and died instantly. He parents arrived with mine shortly after I did. They had him in the emergency room when I got there, I had actually entered the hospital before the ambulance arrived with him. They let me in, mostly because I was going to see him one way or another, and I was holding his hand when our parents walked in. His hand was cold, his eyes were closed, he looked like we was asleep, still in his uniform. My mom walked up to me and I turned into her crying, his parents hugged me from either side while I cried.
He died in January and it was affecting me, but not enough to draw attention. I think Eric notices, he kept trying exceedingly harder to make me laugh, and he was good at it. I was having so much trouble thinking of how to tell him. He might not even want a relationship with me. Mrs. Harpy admitted to me that she didn't know what Eric wanted, but she did tell me who did.
I went to Erica for the first time since we met. She was altogether different to me when I talked to her this time. We talked for a long time, and I never got around to telling her what I came to, but I think I was making progress towards getting the information that I needed. We met and talked many times, for about a month. She told me not to tell Eric I was meeting with her, and I agreed. Finally one day I told her that I loved her brother and wanted to be with him, but I was scared he wouldn't want the same. She was smiling so much and just jumped towards me hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe. She said she was sworn to silence by sibling law, but some laws are meant to be broken. She said that I was all he talked about, and he had drawings of me all over his room, not on the walls because their parents didn't know, but in his sketch pads and portfolios. She said all he wanted was to tell me how he felt, but he thought I was into girls, he even thought I was dating a cheerleader. I guess he was thinking of my cousin that I hang around most of the time. We have different last names and look nothing alike, so I can see where one might assume that. Plus she is probably THE most popular girl at school. Now I was excited.
I was playing soccer in the park on day and I knew Eric was laying in the grass a hundred feet away. I was trying to show off to him, but he was drawing like he always is. I noticed he had taken off his shirt and I remembered the day Allison had lifted it. Instant hard on. I had to start concentrating more on the game as it got more competitive, although we were all friends playing. I looked in his direction while I was impressively dribbling the ball and noticed him on his back. The next kick I landed on the ball sent it straight at him. I yelled and he looked up then lay flat to let it bounce over him, but instead it hit him right on those abs. I ran over to apologize and asked him to join. He declined because he was waiting to meet Allison. I was very disappointed, but I went back to the game. When I was walking up Dwayne asked me, "How's your boyfriend." I pushed him away, but only mockingly. He knew about me and Jared and liked to tease me. I saw him and Allison sitting under a tree later and he was showing her where the ball had hit. I ran over to see if it had left a mark. Oh boy it did, a big red circle. I ran my hand over it and he winced. I told him he said it didn't her before. He told me it didn't then but I does now. I kissed my hand and placed it on the mark to make it better, and after I made that all too obvious gesture, the team came over to see his mark too.
The next week he was missing school. I was talking to Mrs. Harpy on his third day away and she told me he had the flu and asked if I would bring his homework to him and explain it since I seemed to be doing so well by myself all of a sudden. I was blushing and agreed, Mr. Michaels asked me to do the same for him. I went to his house and he looked like he felt horrible. I have heard that you can never know if you love someone until you stay with them while they have the flu. Well, he was more precious than ever, poor little sick boy. I wanted to just put him in my lap and rock him to sleep. He answered the door in his boxers and a t-shirt. While he was putting on some clothes, Erica and I talked, she said I should use this chance to start talking to him outside of school. She gave me their number and told me to say it was Mrs. Harpy's idea for me to call and let him know what had happened in class everyday. We studied and Erica made lunch, but he didn't eat, go figure. I left after a couple of hours, and that took all my will power. The next day Mrs. Harpy handed me a paper after class. I looked at her and said, "Eric's phone number!?"
"Yes, it is. Good guess."
"No, I already knew his number, why are you giving it to me?
"You have that boy's number and haven't been calling him every night since you got it."
"No! Well technically yes, but I only got it yesterday from his sister."
"I am confused."
"I talked to his sister after our talk. When I gave him his work yesterday his sister slipped me there number and told me to call him to tell him what happened in class then blame it on you."
"I swear, those children know me too well. You go, you little sneak. Next time I see you two together, you had better be dating."
I was calling him every night of course and we talked for hours until he would fall asleep. He was so cute on the phone. After he took his medicine he would get very drowsy and start to say odd things as he was drifting off. One night he said, "Goodbye grandmaw, I love you." Just to hear him say those words, even if they were meant for someone else. I lifted me up so high.
I was in the thralls of how to tell him how I felt one day and even his efforts weren't enough to bring me out of my depression. I was thinking about Jared and if I was just imagining that he didn't want me to like Eric or if he really would give me permission. Eric kept trying to get me to talk and after physics I asked him to meet me after school so we could talk. He agreed and when I was headed to my car after last period, I saw him waiting by my car. I suggested we get some food. I figured if I could take him to that hamburger shop and not fall dead there, I had Jared's permission. I also wanted the people there to meet Eric. When we got there I was still so nervous. I couldn't talk or eat. He suggested the lake. I loved the lake, it always made me calm. I brightened up some and agreed. We went to the oak me and Jared used to make out in when we were hiding from his parents. I told him about the spot up in the tree and we made our way up. He started to eat, and I thought, "It is now or never."
"Eric I love you and want to be yours forever."
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