Welcome to "Lance's Search," a multi-chapter exploration of a young man discovering himself. As much as I would suspect otherwise, I have no actual proof of the sexual orientations of Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Consequently anything you read in this story is the product of the mind of its author. That said, this story attempts to take a realistic look into the thoughts and feelings of a guy as he discovers the pains and the joys associated with loving his fellow man... or his fellow band mate as the case may be.
If you have any comments, please e-mail them to bjluver@gay.com. Otherwise, enjoy the story.
BJ
Previously on Lance's Search...
Each of the boys relaxed. Mouths loosened their grips on the other's cock in favor of taking in more oxygen. Their heads rested on each other's thigh. Lance wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. It could have been just a moment or an hour, but eventually Justin begun to stir and positioned his body so they were once again face to face.
Justin broke the silence, but barely with his quiet, exhausted voice. "You mind if I just crash here for what's left of tonight?"
Lance certainly didn't have the strength to disagree. He just smiled and shook his head yes. The two cuddled and fell asleep in each other's arms.
Chapter 15
Lance had dreamed this dream before. He would only remember bits and pieces of it when he woke up, but his subconscious knew the story line and repeated it with few variations.
Lance was somewhere in a large building. It was never really clear exactly what type of building. It might have been a hospital, a nursing home or even a prison. He just knew there were hundreds of people there and rows of beds. The people there weren't happy to be there. No one spoke. Few moved around and barely acknowledged Lance's presence. Lance wasn't sure why he was there, but he seemed more like a visitor than someone staying there.
He wandered through the halls and among the big open rooms filled with people. Among the sea of people, one person stood out. Lance was drawn to the person like a bug to a light. Lance felt the attraction deeply, but he wasn't sure why. It was the same person in every dream, yet Lance couldn't tell who this person was. His face was a blur. Sounds, but not words came out of his mouth. It was like the siren calls of mermaids - alluring, but potentially dangerous. Yet Lance found himself moving closer and closer to this person. He knew it was the body of a man. A handsome man. Other people blurred into the background, as Lance's body seemed to float on air toward this man.
The man's arms reached out as if in a plea for help. Then Lance heard a faint, but familiar voice. It sounded like "help me." Lance grabbed the mystery man, determined to escape this place with him. Lance could hear himself say, "I won't leave you here like this." He lifted the man on his shoulder and made a fast break. Suddenly they were outside of this building, on a high hill overlooking it. Lance lay the man down on the ground and tenderly made sure he was OK. But the man wasn't well. He looked deathly ill. Lance brushed the hair from the man's forehead. With that pass of his hand, the face came into focus. It was...
"NO!" Lance shouted as he bolted upright in bed, drenched in sweat although he wore no clothes. He was breathing heavy. The sound and sudden movement woke Justin, who was sharing Lance's bed for the night, exhausted by a night of dancing followed by sex with Lance.
"What's wrong?" Justin said quickly, startled and uncertain of what just happened. Lance didn't immediately reply. He was staring straight forward and breathing hard.
Justin sat up and reached over for Lance. He felt the cold, clammy skin. "Lance, say something. Are you OK?"
Lance slowly nodded his head. "It was a dream. One I've had before. Only this time..." Lance paused.
"Only this time?"
"No. It's nothing. Really."
"For being nothing, you really seemed to be spooked pretty badly. You want to talk about your dream? It might make you feel better."
"Not right now. I think I need to splash some water on my face. I'll be back in a moment." Lance headed for the bathroom. He turned on the light, which made him flinch from the sudden brightness. He shielded his eyes for a moment until his pupils adjusted. Then he saw himself in the bathroom mirror. He thought he looked awful, as if he had just emerged from days in bed fighting off some mystery illness.
"This dream. Why do I keep having it? What does it mean? And why all of a sudden can I tell who the person I rescue is?" Lance shook his head in disbelief. He started the water in the sink. Cold. Maybe a touch of warm. He leaned forward and brought the cooling, cleansing relief to his face. It felt good to remove the dried sweat from his face. But the rest of his body felt sticky and dirty. "Maybe a shower would help. I'm sure I won't be going back to sleep right away. Not sure whether I want to sleep even if I could."
He heard a quiet knocking on the bathroom door. "James, you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
The door to the bathroom opened slowly and Justin poked his head through the growing crack. "You sure?"
"Well, as sure as I can be for now. I'm sorry I woke you up."
"No sweat, man."
"Well, actually, lots of sweat," Lance responded in a half-hearted attempt at humor. "I think I'm gonna shower. I believe I'll feel better once this grime is off my body."
"A shower sounds like a great idea." Justin walked to the other side of the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower.
"You know I was talking about a shower for me?"
"I know. But I think you need some help."
"Say what?"
"The water is ready, get on in here," Justin motioned to Lance.
Lance obeyed and stepped into the tub. He was startled when Justin followed behind him.
"Justin, I'm not in the mood for sex."
"Who said anything about sex? I'm just here to help you relax and get all squeaky clean."
"I'm not sure how relaxed I'm going to be with you here. Except for gym class I've always showered alone."
"Trust me, this will be relaxing. Now get under that water before it goes cold."
Lance again obeyed. The warm water did feel good. The next thing he knew there were two soapy hands on his shoulders. The hands were kneading his tense muscles. Slowly, but surely, Lance could feel the tension being worked out. Then the hands began to move further down his back, caressing skin all the way down to his butt. Lance's whole body became pliable in Justin's hands. Any way Justin wanted him to move he did without resistance. Justin soaped up Lance's body part by part. Lance's cock was semi-erect for all of this, but never made it to full length.
After a thorough rinsing, Lance opened his eyes and stared at Justin. "My turn now."
"You don't have to."
"I know. I want to. I want you to feel as clean and relaxed as I do." And with those words, Lance maneuvered Justin so that he was getting the most benefit from the cascading water. He tried to do everything that Justin had done to him. "This is nice," Lance thought to himself. "Giving and receiving pleasure like this without sex being the main goal. I like it. But it will never be more than this with Justin. I love him. He loves me, I think. But neither of us is IN love with the other. Just the same, I do enjoy the body contact."
By the time Lance got Justin all cleaned up and rinsed off, the water was turning decidedly cooler. The pair emerged from their shower and toweled each other off.
"I feel much better now. Thanks, Justin."
"You're welcome. Now let's get back to bed and catch a few more Zs. Big concert tonight. After that, it's back to Orlando."
To be continued...