Growing up the only child at home (much older siblings and cousins), in a neighborhood with few other kids, in a conservative state, in pre-internet days, and being deeply closetes all combined into a dynamic where I was very late to the bate party, far later than most.
I was, amazingly, 15 before I shot my first load. Given this, wet dreams had been happening for a while and that I was a crazy, mad, horny, frustrated teen!
I'd picked up on passing references to masturbation including a short and very indirect mention in the Scout Handbook and some other slight hints in movies, and some short sections in books on puberty that I'd secretly read at the public library, but none of these offered sufficient detail to guide me to completion. I'd get hard, get some things going, and even get some pre flowing, which is about instantaneous for me, but I guess I didn't stick to it long enough.
One passing reference to bate that I remember was a Readers Digest summary of The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. It noted that an extremely high percentage of guys, married and single, masturbated regularly throughout life. (Yes, I know what you are thinking. Did we actually need research to document that?). Well, The Hite Report ended up playing an important role in my self discovery.
Still hunting for information, I'd always check out things at bookstores -- the general type, not the other ones, those came later. One Sunday, I purchased a copy of the Hite Report. Later that day at home, I was locked in my room reading about the real sexual exploits of guys. For those of you not familiar with the work, it was a massive survey of guys -- all ages, all states. Then, the authors analyzed the findings and provided summaries followed by actual response examples.
Not too far in -- chapter 2 or 3 -- I hit the section "Sex and Physical Intimacy Between Boys" and I was mystified. Something like 40% of the respondents said they did stuff with other guys and then, the real juicy bits. . . all of the actual responses about who (e.g. brothers, friends, cousins) and what went down.
I was transfixed. My cock was throbbing in response to the stories. What I was dreaming and fantasizing about was going down commonly around me!
As I read these hot descriptions of actual events, I was slowly rubbing myself. This went on for quite a while as I remember spending time at it during the afternoon, being called to dinner, then going right back to it afterwards
I read about all sorts of sex acts, skipping the straight parts and going right to the gay ones. My mind was being blown by the details and the possibilities!
At some point during the after=dinner session, something began to happen. It's very hard for me to describe but the most accurate thing I could say is that it was as if valves were opening up inside of me. On some level, I knew what was coming. It was finally going to happen.
I continued reading and rubbing, and suddenly something began to build. I'm sure that, given my age and having not ever cum, if I'd be able to truly focus and relax and take in that first orgasm I might have passed out from the pleasure, but I was too both excited and weirded out.
While I know that it felt good, I don't completely remember the pleasure. What I do remember, however, was the massive load. It hit the headboard, and my face, and my chest before running down my hand and all across my pubes and down to my balls. I truly wish I had a picture or video as I know I must have shot at least a pint of jiz.
I know that sounds like a particularly large load, but when you factor in that I was 15 years old and had never shot a load other than a wet dream, I assure you that my estimate of the volume is pretty accurate.
Once I regained full composure and I'd done my best to clean up the mess, concerned for my salvation, I prayed for forgiveness and promised never to do that again. That promise lasted until the next afternoon.
I had come late to the party, but I'd finally arrived. The bate-pray-promise cycle continued for a while but, over time, my shame and feeling that I needed forgiveness faded away and, though late to the party, I promise you that I've made up for lost time.
Thanks for reading guys. Would love to hear if you liked this and about your own experiences lowerdeguy@mail.com
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