Learning Curve Chapter 2:
~Accepting life as unchangeable only serves to make life what you don't want it to be.~
"Lance, calm down. Everything is going to be ok." Justin just moved on, hoping that Lance would forget. "Tell me what's going on. What makes you think that you're gay?"
"Well, I just kissed a guy and liked it. Plus I've always been attracted to guy's. Hell I had a huge crush on you when we first met oh my god I didn't just say that but I did and I'm scared and the guy that I kissed is on the staff and I don't really like him but I liked the kiss and I can't breath." And he finally shut up.
"Ok, Lance, you're gay. It's no big deal." `Why do the gay guy's turn to me about this?' Justin pondered as Lance sobbed again. "We all still love you, its ok. Bud's?"
"Bud's." Lance said again with a sniffle. "So, you're cool with it?" Lance said with trepidation.
Justin smiled. "Yes, I'm cool with it. Now, why don't you fly out here and we'll hang. I finish with the Label tomorrow afternoon, and was thinking of going up and hanging with Josh in San Jose. What do you say?"
"Well I have nothing to do until the next tour, so sure. Plus I'd love to be able to talk to you. Geeze, what time is it there?" Lance was still stressed out and hyper. Justin laughed.
"About four, so go to bed or go do something. I'm going to sleep. See you later.
"Ok, I'll call in you later and let you know my flight info. We'll hook up there and go visit JC." Lance definitely sounded better.
"Cool. Night Lance." Justin went to sleep a little relieved his slip up went unnoticed.
"Ring, ring, ring."
"Hello?" Justin said, not to happy.
"Now what did you mean when you said he'll want to go out with you Josh?" Justin groaned and slammed the phone onto the base, and unplugged it.
"Hello?" Josh was hoping it was who he thought it was.
"Is this JC's phone?" Jacob said nervously.
Josh was happy for about two seconds, before he became way nervous again. "Yes..." Way too squeaky. He cleared his throat, kicked himself, and continued. "Yes it is. Who am I speaking to" He decided to play dumb.
"This is Jacob Alexander, we met last night." Jacob started to feel even more nervous, and tried not to throw up... again.
"Hey, how are you?" Josh regretted saying it even though it fit. Then again, he'd regret anything he said right now.
"Good, good. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tomorrow night." Jacob decided to just go ahead and say it, that didn't keep him from clenching his eye's shut though.
Josh was stunned into silence. "I'm, uh... fduh. Jrklm. Zuh, uh..." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, that sounds like it would be fun."
`HE SAID YES!' "YOU SAID YES. Oh my god, that was out loud. Uhm... you're staying at the Fairmont right?"
Josh laughed. "Yeah, in downtown. You know where it is?"
"Yeah. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7:00. Is that ok with you?" He was practically bouncing at this point.
"Yeah." Josh was having a similar reaction.
"Well, see you then." Goofy grin present on Jacob.
"See you then." Same grin on Josh.
"K, good bye."
"Bye."
"Yeah, uh. Bye."
"Bye." And the both hung up. And they both picked the phone right back up. One calling Willow Glen to talk to a female, and one calling LA to talk to a lanky blond boy.
"Hello?" Liz had left early to go get cleaned up, and they were going to meet up at 1:00 to go to Valley Fair shopping mall.
"I HAVE A DATE WITH JOSHUA SCOTT CHASEZ!" Phone receiver a foot away from her head she let's the screaming rant sink in.
"What! You're kidding me!? What happened?" She turned off the stereo.
"I called and asked him out." Jacob was bouncing, she could hear it.
"Sit your ass down. I'll be over in half an hour. You need a hair cut. And if you even think that you're going out in the clothes you own, I'll shot you dead." She ran to the front door, ran back to the kitchen to grab her purse, ran to the door, ran to the coffee table to grab her key's, ran to the door, then ran to the bedroom to put on shoes. Five minutes later she left, after putting a skirt on over the slip she was running around in.
"HE ASKED ME OUT!" the sound emanating from the cell phone caused Justin to drop it. He quickly retrieved it and put it back to his ear.
"Joshy, calm down. Go to the mall, pick out some clothes. Lance and I will be up tomorrow at about 4:00, we'll make sure you're set." Justin took a bite of his Bagel.
"Lance is coming. Oh god, I'm not ready to tell him." Josh became nervous. He couldn't well hide it since he was going out on a date with a guy.
"Don't worry, I'm telling him about you when he calls me again in 5 minutes." Justin said, a knowing smirk on his face, taking a sip of orange juice.
"YOU'RE WHAT!" Dread and despair, along with astonishment suddenly filled Josh.
"He needs to know, he just figured out he's gay." Justin sat back and held the phone away from his ear.
"HE'S WHAT! HE'S GAY!?! SINCE WHEN?!?" shock and confusion now reined supreme in Josh's mind.
"Another Call. It's Lance. I got to go. You should call him." Justin hung up on Josh, and switched over to Lance.
"Hello Lance." Justin took another bite of bagel.
"How'd you know it was me?" Lance was pacing his room.
"Caller ID, even without it, you've called ever fifteen minutes, I could just guess and most likely be right. By the way, I told Josh that you're gay." He slipped it in matter of factly, held the phone away from his head, and took another sip of juice.
"YOU WHAT!?! WHY! What did he say?" Justin brought the phone back to his head.
"Because he's gay and knows what you're going through." He stood up and took the empty plate to the sink.
"He is! Oh my god, I was wondering from what you said last night. Wow." Justin headed for his room to finish getting ready.
"Listen. I need to go. I have one last meeting with the label today, and then I pick you up at 5:00. Call Josh." Justin pulled out a shirt from the closet.
"Ok, by Just." Lance hung up and Justin laughed to himself.
"Hello." Josh, still dazed by being asked out and learning that one of his best friends was gay, really had no idea what to expect next.
"You're gay?" Lance was still shell shocked also.
"Uh... yeah. You?" Josh stammered.
"Uh... yeah." Lance wasn't comfortable, but a little relieved since Josh would most likely be ok with him.
"Cool." Well, what do you say to that?
"I guess. I sorta just figured it out. You?"
"I've known since I was 16. I just didn't accept it `till about three weeks ago. It was a huge burden off my chest when I told Justin. And I've felt more relaxed. I'm planning to tell everyone else in about a couple weeks when they fly out here with Johnny for that meeting about the next tour. You should tell them then. Being shocked at once would probably be easier for them."
"Yeah." Then Lance got a really mischievous grin. "But... can we have some fun when we tell them?"
Josh got a similar grin. "I'm listening.
Liz steered Jacob far away from The Gap, and took him straight to Hot Topic where she found him a black shirt with blue flames, and a silver choker with elongated oval openings that showed the black cord that held it together. They then headed to Old Navy and found a blue t-shirt for under it, and a pair of black slacks. They then hit Macy's to get him a new type of cologne.
"Explain to me exactly why we need to get a new type of cologne." Jacob whined after trying out the fifteenth scent.
"Because I hate, and mind you I'm using the word hate here, hate the Stetson." Liz grabbed Calvin Klein's `Eternity' off the counter, smelled it, and then told Jacob to buy it. He smelled it, and had to agree, it was good. He paid the clerk, and they headed for the food court.
"So, how nervous are you about tomorrow?" Liz said taking a bite of cheese fries.
"Don't bring it up; I don't want to throw up again." He laughed and took a sip of his Jamba Juice. "I just can't figure out. Why would he want me? He could have any man alive right now, and he wanted to go out with me. I'm not that good looking." He looked down at the table.
"You stop that right now. You're a great guy. You are great with children. You have a beautiful soul. And you are a hottie." She grabbed him on the chin. "Look at me. He'd be lucky to land you."
"Why do you always seem to know what to say?" He said taking her hands in his.
"It's either the company I keep, or the books. Judging by the company, I'd say it's the books." She smacked him on the side of the head. "Come on. We still need to get you a new hair cut." With that, they left the Valley Fair and headed to a small stylist near Oakridge Mall.
Half way there, Liz noticed someone. Her jaw dropped when she did, and she proceeded to do a U-Turn... in traffic... in a place she wasn't supposed to... without signaling. With a yelp, Jacob desperately held onto the doorframe trying not to be thrown from his seat as they bounced over the raised median. Liz skidded into a driveway and slammed the car into a stop.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" Jacob said taking in deep breaths of air.
"What? I noticed my ex-boyfriend and wanted to stop to say hi." With that, she got out leaving Jacob dumbfounded, went over to someone who was heading towards the restaurant, waltzed up to him and all out slapped him. Not a small smack in the face, she hit him hard enough for him to stumble and fall. She then walked back to the car, started the engine, looked at the stunned Jacob, and simply asked, "Ready for that haircut? I was thinking of going with a darker blond and keep the black at the roots."
"Huh, wha? Why... The guy... He fell... And you slapped him..."
"One thing any man I'm with should learn, never... ever... ever cheat on me. Especially with my best friend, at our prom, in my car." With a wink, she sped out of the parking lot just as the guy stood up.
Lance got off the plane and spotted Justin through his sun glasses, he was wearing sunglasses and a ball cap. They had all learned that walking around with out them, was like wearing a sign that said "Please tear all of my clothes off."
"How was Vegas?" Justin grabbed one of his carry on bags, and they proceeded to the baggage claim.
"Good, tiring, but good. We had a lot to do, and it kept us all busy. And then there was Erin. He was great. He was one of the PR kids, about 21, and we hit it off right from the start. One night we had decided to watch a movie in my room, I looked over at him, he was laughing to the movie and I just watched him. Then, he looked at me, I looked at him, and we kissed. We both decided that we couldn't do anything and decided to just stay friends. But wow." Lance grabbed his suit case as it came around, and then his duffle bag. Justin grabbed the suit case and they started for the parking lot. The airport was pretty quiet, and they had no one around them and were free to talk openly.
"So are you doing ok?" Justin looked over at Lance as they waited for the traffic to clear up.
"Yeah, I am. I feel like I... you know when you're trying to remember something, or figure out the answer to a question that you know you know but just can't wrap your brain around it?" Lance looked straight at Justin.
"Yeah." Justin waited as Lance continued.
"I found the answer. Everything in me seems to just... click now. It seems so easy, and I've relaxed more." They crossed the street, and headed towards the second level of the parking garage. "I like this, but I'm also scared."
"Why are you scared? The guy's will be ok with you."
"I know the guy's will; we have too many gay friends not to be ok with it. But what about my family? They are very religious. And the public? They would crucify me, excuse the reference."
Justin had nothing to say to that. They both walked in silence. What else was there to do?
They got in Justin's rental and headed towards the apartment he was set up in. on the way they stopped at a drive thru and grabbed some food to take back. The entire trip was basically silent. That is until Lance broke it.
"Justin... do you think that I'm going to go to hell? I mean... I was always told it was wrong to be gay. That it was a sin. But... if it's wrong... why would God make me this way?" Lance looked down at his lap, and held back the tears.
Justin's heart broke when he chanced a glance at his friend while driving. "Oh James... Of course you're not going to hell. You are one of the kindest, nicest, bestest people I know." That made Lance laugh. "God created man in his image. Fat men, skinny men, women, children, people of every kind of race, and of every orientation. Now I was always told God was love, and that he loved unconditionally. And if he loves you, then he simply wants you to live happily. And if you were to deny who you were, then you wouldn't be happy now would you? Being gay doesn't make you a sinner, it makes you a person who is admitting that he wants to be who he is and be happy."
"Justin... thank you." Lance said through a smile and tears. "You will never know how much that means to me." And the rest of the trip was in silence. Only this time, it was a comfortable silence.