LEARNING HOW TO FLY
Chapter 8
~ Pain and Love ~
Hi all. I hereby present the latest chapter of my little saga. Thanks to those who have e-mailed me. You know who you are. Comments, Praise and Criticism can (and should) be sent to Pandora0071@lycos.com.
Disclaimer: The contents of this story are completely fictional, none of this has actually happened (and if it had, that would be one heck of a coincidence cause I'm making this up as I go along). I don't mean to imply anything about the sexualities of the celebrities mentioned.
If you are underage or have a problem with homosexuality, I suggest you leave.
It was barely 8am when Howie opened the door to look for the roomboy with his breakfast and pick up the newspaper. But when he saw the bundle of clothing and tears next to his door, he pretty much forgot about his original plan and carefully carried Nick inside.
Nick crawled into the corner of the couch, hugging his legs to his chest and staring at Howie with bruised eyes. Howie wrapped his friend into a blanket and sat down across from him.
"What the hell happened?" He asked. Nick blinked away the tears that were blurring his vision and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. He was shivering even though it was warm in the room.
"Where's Alex?" He finally asked, his voice listless and dull.
"He's in the fitness room, working out. Nick, please, tell me what happened!" Howie pleaded.
"Brian happened. He fucking kicked me out." Nick sounded weak, as though the simple act of speaking was draining him of energy. Howie's eyes grew big as he waited for an explanation.
"I couldn't sleep last night, so I went to pay Colin a visit. I've been fascinated with him from the beginning, you know. I don't know what it is about him. But I just had to go see him. I really only wanted to talk to him, but then I asked him to kiss me. It was so amazing. Oh fuck it. Why does bliss always bring pain with it?" Nick's voice choked up with tears and he stopped to collect himself and keep from breaking down again. He chewed on his lower lip and took one deep breath after another. Finally he seemed capable of continuing.
"It seems that Brian woke up and realized that I'm missing. And with my usual luck, he stepped out into the hallway to search for me the exact same instant I left Colin's room."
"Oh shit." There was no need for Nick to go on. Howie had a pretty good idea of what had happened next. But the talking seemed to be calming Nick down, so he let him finish.
"He dragged me back to our room and asked me why I'd gone to the faggots room in the middle of the night. The way he used that word pissed me off, so we started our usual argument. Except that this time, in the course of the discussion, I ended up telling him that I'm gay. He just stared at me as though I'd told him that I was planning to blow up Europe. Then he got this real cold look in his eyes and just told me to leave." Nick was shaking more violently by now and new tears were rolling down his cheeks. His chapped lips were trembling and his hands were clutching the blanket so tight that his knuckles were white.
"Fuck." Howie muttered. What else was there to say? A new question formed in his mind. What now?! With the state Nick and Brian were in right now, the rehearsals for today would have to be canceled. And if the situation didn't relax, they'd have to think about canceling the tour. Right now, the future of one of the most successful boybands in history was very uncertain.
"Nick? I'm going to call Kevin. We'll need to figure out what to do."
"But Kevin doesn't know about me!" Nick protested.
"Well, he's about to find out."
Colin was running late. It was already 8:30 am and he was just plugging the chord of his electrical razor into the power outlet in the bathroom. He should already be dressed and having breakfast, but sleep had not come easy after Nick had left. Colin had spent much of the night debating with himself whether or not it was wise to be falling for Nick Carter. His thoughts were already veering off into that same direction again when the door opened.
"Good morning, Colin."
"Morning, Jamie. What are you doing here?" Colin asked.
"I sort of have a question." Jamie replied. He pulled himself up on the counter and leaned his back against the mirror.
"Fire away then." Colin said, curious.
"Okay. This is very hypothetical though, so don't get all upset, alright. It's an easy yes -- or -- no question. If you were friends with a woman, and she knew you're gay, and offered to sleep with you just once, no strings attached, so you'd know what it's like, would you do it?" Colin almost dropped his razor.
"Who offered to sleep with you?!" He asked.
"Colin!" Jamie whined. "I told you not to get upset. I'm not saying that I'll just randomly screw around. It's just, we almost kissed and I kind of liked it and I want to know what the rest of it feels like." Colin turned to face his friend.
"Jamie, are you considering that you might be gay?" He asked.
"Hell no! I'm just curious. Don't worry about me, Colin. It really would be a one-time thing, nothing but sex. Just so I'll know what it's like. Do you think I should?"
"Jesus, Jamie, you have a way of asking for advice that makes you sound like you don't need it anymore. If you want to try, go ahead, just make sure you're safe."
"I will."
Well, this one's a bit shorter again. I'll see what I can do about the next one.
Much love joey