Leaves Turn Red: Part II Copyright Jessi 2004
Sorry it's taken me so damn long to get this up! After losing the original file on my computer awhile back, I then got so busy that I just couldn't get it finished. If you guys want a third installment, I promise it won't take nearly as long!
The usual disclaimers apply, yada yada yada. Send me feedback whether you love it, hate it or just wanna say something. leavesturnred@hotmail.com
Part II
A few weeks and a hell of a lot of emotions -- good ones, bad ones, out of this world ones -- had come since that night with Ally. Though my typical self would have avoided her at all costs, afraid of the awkwardness and the feeling of commitment, this time was different. Everything was different with this girl. Something as little as taking a boredom drive felt like an adventure, never knowing where we could end up or what we could do. We would just hop in the car, roll the windows down, turn the music up and push the pedal to the ground. The very thought of her made my heart pound faster and her presence was heaven. Never in my life had I thought I would ever wind up this happy. In my head and my thoughts, it was only in the movies and on TV, it didn't happen in real life.
Oh how reality proved me wrong. She became not only my "girlfriend," but my entire life, my entire world. She was the creator of this world and it felt like heaven. Maybe it was heaven. Maybe I had died and come back as the same person, only this time I got to be the happiest person in the world.
As November closed in on us, with it came Ally's 22nd birthday. It was the first time I had really paid any attention to her age. All through life I understood that age didn't matter, not for anything, that your chronological and mental age can be so different. Though I was only nineteen, Ally and I connected in more ways and on more levels than most people will ever experience. Marriage in our world is quite common, but divorce even more so. People can't find their second half and go all through their lives searching for it, just longing to feel complete, to finally be whole. When and if you find it, it should be one of the best achievements of your life, and it's when you'll understand how petty the little things are, such as age, race and the like. It's funny how love can have a way of changing a person's entire belief system.
"So, what are you getting her?" Cindy asked four days before Ally's birthday. "How good are you at buying gifts? You know not to get her a trash disposal, right?"
I laughed heartily, recalling how she had told me that a boyfriend once bought her a trash disposal for Valentine's Day because he knew how much she hated food in the sink.
"Well, you know, I was thinking about it," I joked. "I don't know. I have a couple of things in mind. I'm kind of nervous about it, to be honest. I've been good at buying sentimental and liked gifts in the past, but this is a lot different. This is Ally."
Cindy smiled. "You really like her, don't you?"
"Gee, how'd you put that puzzle together?" I laughed.
"It's so cute though. Two of my best friends are falling in love!"
Getting Ally the perfect gift turned out to be even harder and nerve-racking than I had anticipated. I tried desperately to think of something she had once mentioned loving, something she had perhaps had when she was a child, anything of the sort. But nothing was coming to mind.
Then one day while walking past a pet store and falling in love with all the puppies, it hit me. A puppy! She had always wanted a Pomeranian puppy all throughout her childhood, but due to her sister's allergies, as well as her parents not wanting a dog in the house, she was never able to get one. Then, she had told me, when she moved out of her parents' home, she never had the time or money to find a reputable breeder and the right puppy.
It was perfect and I was proud of myself for coming up with such a great gift even in my state of mind that didn't really consist of any thoughts other than that of just being with Ally. I found a well-known breeder just 15 minutes from me and went to visit her and see the puppies a couple days before Ally's birthday. After playing with all the puppies and talking to Brenda, the breeder, for more than an hour, I decided this was who I wanted to get the puppy from -- and I already knew which one. He was the smallest of the bunch but very assertive and outgoing. I smiled to myself as I thought of how Ally and the puppy would be able to relate. They'd be a match.
Two days and more than $800 dollars later -- hey, love makes us do crazy things -- I went to Ally's campus apartment with her new puppy early that morning of her birthday. I knew she would be getting up at 9:00 for her Psych class so I got there at 7:45 despite the fact that I absolutely hated mornings and getting my ass out of bed before the day had well begun. Ally had given me a spare key so I went in quietly and was happy to find that her roommate Lindsey had already been up and gone. I put the puppy down in his new home and let him explore and get used to it while I prepared to cook my beautiful girlfriend breakfast. I waited until her clock read 8:58 before I brought pancakes, eggs, toast and fruit up to her room and turned her alarm off. Instead of waking up to an annoying buzzer sound, I wanted to gently wake her up and bring her back into the world with me.
I set the food on her nightstand and got in bed with her. I just watched her sleep for a minute or so, drunk on her beauty and perfection. Everything about her was so wonderful. I just couldn't figure out how I'd become so lucky. It's like, for several consecutive years of your life, you're down in the dumps and depressed and it's all a bunch of mucky shit that you can't see through, and then one day it just clears up. Life suddenly has a meaning and a purpose, and you can see down the path of your life again. And you don't even know why or how things changed so drastically.
Forcing myself to get her up so she'd have time to get to her class, I nuzzled my face in her neck before lightly kissing it. She sighed softly.
"It's 9 o'clock, baby," I whispered in her ear. She stirred ever so slightly and I leaned down and picked the puppy up from his spot at the end of the mattress. I mused at how he'd already found his bed.
I put the puppy down beside her and he put his paws on her and indicated that he wanted to play. I saw her deep blue eyes open just a bit and she smiled at the sight of the puppy and sat up a bit. She wordlessly took him in her arms and pet him for a moment before looking to me.
"Who's this?" she asked, seeming to just barely be out of the dream world.
"He doesn't have a name yet," I smiled. "I figured you would wanna name him."
When the puppy started licking her hand and then trying to get down to trot around some more, she put him down and then literally jumped on top of me. I was taken completely by surprise and fell off the bed, bringing us both down to the ground in fits of laughter. On the floor, she remained on top of me and, just like in those corny romance films, the laughter slowly died to where we were just smiling and looking into each other's eyes. She whispered a thank you to me and before I could even respond her lips were pressed to mine in a passionate kiss.
Ally sat up and straddled me before coming back down and kissing my nick, driving me crazy. It was one of the most sensitive areas on my body, and she knew it. She licked and then lightly bit me, making me moan with pleasure and content. Her kisses continued down my body leaving a trail of heaven behind them. The food was long forgotten and the puppy was falling asleep on top of one of Ally's big pillows. Nothing else mattered right then but me and her. I ran my hands through her soft hair that smelled of flowers and though my mind was arguing how it was her birthday and I should be the one doing this to her, the pleasure sensors in my brain were overriding any other thoughts. The one feeble attempt I did make at sitting up and telling Ally that it was her birthday, not mine, was ignored as she pushed me back down in a way that made that animal awaken inside me. I all but growled before rolling her off me and getting on top of her in one quick motion. She was taken off guard but didn't miss a beat. We were kissing each other so intently that I was sure to anyone watching it would have appeared we were trying to suck something out of each other's mouths.
After a small game of "Who will go down first?" I ended up being the winner and getting into Ally's pants. I removed her satin panties with my teeth and instantly began licking her, wasting no time on bullshit teasing. Right then I wanted nothing more than to be inside of her and I knew she needed nothing more than that. I quickly licked at her clit and when she cried out I only went faster and faster, just wanting to make her feel amazing, the way she made me feel just by being with me. My hands roamed upwards towards her breasts. I pinched her nipples through her t-shirt and she moaned loudly. God, how I loved to make her moan. It's an amazing thing to make such a gorgeous, irreplaceable human being moan from pleasure. When she came, I thought of how I'd perfectly content just listening to my baby yelling out my name for the rest of my entire life.
Unfortunately, Ally's roommate got home from her morning classes shortly after our little session, and Ally had to get ready for her class. She thanked me again and we kissed some more before I went downstairs to wait on her. Although I certainly wouldn't have protested to jumping in the shower with her.
I took the puppy with me and played with him on the couch for a few minutes before Lindsey started bugging me about mine and Ally's relationship.
"So, are you her girlfriend or something?"
"Yes."
"So, you're gay?" Wow, she was a quick one.
"Uh, yeah."
"My dad's homophobic but I totally accept gays. You guys are people too, you know? I mean, gays should have rights too."
It took a whole hell of a lot of tongue-biting for me not to respond to that. Fucking idiots.
Ally ended up naming the puppy Damon after a dog I had had as a child. I about cried when she told me that, my emotions going on overload. I was feeling so many at once, but so many were good.
"Wanna go to a haunted graveyard?" Ally asked one day as were sitting in her living room watching a boring rerun of That '70s show. I looked at her and smiled. "I know, I know, it's unlikely that it's really haunted, but I thought it'd be fun."
I was very much into the supernatural and paranormal, and believed most of it to be true. A lot of it came very naturally to me from a young age. I never questioned aliens or ghosts to my parents, nor did I ask if they were real like most kids do. I never had any reason to doubt their existence. They were just there. Does that mean I had contact with them when I was a young child? Who knows.
Ally and I hopped in my car and I fished my keys from my pocket. After a laugh from Ally about my new keychain which read, "I do not discriminate, I hate everyone," I put the key in the ignition. When I turned it in the direction that suddenly gave life to my car, Michael Jackson's "History" album came blasting through the speakers. I mentally prepared myself for the blows and the criticism that I always received, but much to my surprise, she just started tapping her fingers to the beat. I said nothing. Just because I liked a certain band or artist shouldn't mean I had to justify myself. And Ally apparently understood that. I smiled to myself and put the car in drive.
"Where'd you hear about this graveyard anyway?" I questioned as one song on my album ended and there was the three second pause inbetween songs. As she started to talk, I significantly lowered the volume and dedicated my undivided attention to my love -- not caring about sounding corny.
"My sister's boyfriend used to live a mile from it, and he was telling her about it when I was over there a little while ago. I just figured you might wanna check it out for something to do."
"Just for something to do?" I laughed. "Apparently you haven't witnessed my alien and ghost tales before. There's not much that interests me more than the worlds that coexist with ours which most people have no idea of. It doesn't get much better than experiencing something like that."
"You believe in the paranormal or whatever that much?" she seemed a little surprised. "You seem like such a realist type person."
"There's a lot you have to learn about me, baby," I smiled flirtatiously.
"Oh, I intend to be around long enough to learn all those things, and then long enough to learn things about yourself that you didn't know either," she replied wittingly. She always knew the right things to say.
I smiled and mumbled, "If I ever get, like, drunk or something, and I forget how you won me over, just say that exact thing to me again." She giggled and brushed her hand over my free one which was resting on my thigh.
We soon arrived at this graveyard which we quickly found was rather well-known. My eyes roamed about and I suddenly felt sick at the sight of people happily moving about grave after grave, just hoping to catch a glimpse of a dust particle which would soon be referred to as an orb. It was as if everyone had forgotten that beneath those grounds lay children, spouses, best friends, parents and lonely souls. Guilt hit me like a ton of bricks as I suddenly thought of Marc. I clutched my stomach and looked up to see a young child saying he hoped his daddy, who was buried in front of him, was there to see him. I could literally feel the color drain from my face as I thought I would faint. Some kind of dizzy spell came over me and I kneeled to the ground.
"Hayley, what's wrong?!" Ally exclaimed with terror evident in her voice. She leaned down next to me and tried to look into my face to find some kind of explanation. I just looked at her.
The next thing I clearly remember is lying in the backseat of my car with Ally driving, and then arriving back to her apartment. She practically carried me up to her place. She gently placed me in her bed and when I awoke, it was light outside. I groaned as I remembered what had happened. Now everything was going to be out in the open and I was going to have to re-live everything. I clenched my eyes shut tightly as if it would make everything okay again. I fought back tears until I suddenly heard shifting in the room. I looked over to see Ally.
"Hayley!" she exclaimed as she woke up and jumped out of the chair she'd been sleeping in. "You're okay! Right? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm alright," I mumbled as my eyes darted around the room, willing to land anywhere but into Ally's. She proceeded to inform me that after calling my doctor the night before, she'd called my parents at my doc's advice and they had gotten a flight out and arrived earlier that morning. My mom was asleep on the couch and my dad was on the phone with my doctor as we spoke. I was taken quite aback.
Her voice suddenly softened. "What happened, Hayley?"
"I don't know," I lied. "I guess I was just coming down with something. I'm sorry I scared you. What time is it?" I tried to change the subject, but of course I knew that wasn't gonna happen.
"It's nine in the morning," she told me after looking at her watch. "You've been out for more than twelve hours."
After my parents embracing me like I'd come back from the dead and being told that I had a doctor's appointment at 3:00pm, I convinced my parents I was fine and, although I was so happy and thankful they'd come here, they could go home. It wasn't easy, but the thought of Ally being with me seemed to comfort them somewhat. When they finally booked a flight and then headed home, I decided to take a walk and clear my head. The only thing was, Ally wouldn't let me go anywhere by myself. That wouldn't have been a bad thing, but I wasn't gonna be able to sort things out with myself if anyone came along -- especially Ally. I decided to give in and just not protest to her coming. I was starting to realize that I wanted her to come with me anyway. I needed her to come with me. I needed her. And I had to tell her.
We eventually stopped at a bench during our walk and she let Damon roam around in the dog area that was fenced off. I'd been thinking of what I could say and how I could tell her the whole time. It wasn't an easy thing for me to talk about by any means. And I was mad at myself for not thinking about him more and I was mad at myself for ever having wanted to go to a cemetery for any kind of fun reason, such as the tale of it being haunted.
"I guess last night was pretty freaky for you," I started.
"Forget about me. I'm just worried about you. I can't imagine what kind of illness you must be getting that caused you to basically keel over and pass out."
"I guess it's not really an illness...per se," I admitted as I looked up at our surroundings. I always had to observe everything.
"What do you mean?" was her only response.
"It's a long story. I...well, I...it's a story that I don't talk about often," I explained and paused. "Never, actually. I never talk about it." Why not be completely honest?
"I'm listening," she said softly. "You can tell me anything, Hayley. I'm here for you." She took hold of my hand and I tried to find courage within.
"It was two years ago," I said and watched Damon playing with a Chihuahua puppy. "He was my best friend." I stopped as if that was the whole story. Ally gave my hand a light, reassuring grip. "We were going on a trip to the beach in Florida," I mumbled as the day replayed in my head. "We'd been planning it...we'd been planning it for so long," I paused and Ally remained quiet, telling me she was listening and she wasn't going anywhere. "I went over to his house early that morning. I was gonna surprise him with first class tickets because he thought we were riding coach," my eyes welled up, "but I...I never got to show him the tickets." I couldn't handle it and buried my face in my hands.
I tried so hard to keep the tears from spilling over and running down my cheeks, but the memories were too vivid and I just couldn't stop them from flowing. Ally pulled me to her and put her arms around me. I buried my face in her shoulder and cried. I didn't give a flying rat's ass who walked by right then, who saw me crying which I normally hated, or who saw me burying myself in the only person who knew my soul.
Between my doctor's appointment and my parents continuing to call to "check up," Ally soon found out a lot more of the story. She found out how Marc had committed suicide and I had been the one to find him that day. She found out how we'd been the best of friends for many years and he was always the one I turned to with my problems. She found out that after two years, I still struggled with Marc's death on a regular basis. She found out that I had blamed myself for a long time, thinking that if I had just come over an hour earlier, or stayed the night since we were going on a trip, that it wouldn't have happened.
A week after the "incident" is when Ally and I really started to talk about it and things started to get back to normal. Cindy had been filled in on everything as well and was just as cautious with me as Ally, but as the days passed, things got better. I also started to feel a lot better and realized how much Ally had helped me. She'd helped me more than any doctor could have. I was so blessed to have her in my life. Ally had helped me see that going on in my life was the only way Marc could remain in my life. It was things I'd been told for so long, but I was only then hearing them for the first time. Everything really was gonna be okay.
One night after we decided Ally would stay the night with me, just to hold each other and be together, I was lying in Ally's arms and I thanked her.
"For what?" she asked.
"For taking care of me and helping me and being with me and...well, for being you," we both smiled and she kissed me.
Through the midst of my grieving all over again, romantic and sexual feelings had been out of my brain's grasp. I hadn't really thought much about the lingering relationship between Ally and myself. Was our relationship gonna last? ...Why was I even questioning it?
"Are we okay, Ally?" I asked simply. "Us, I mean."
"Of course, Hayley. Why wouldn't we be?"
"I don't know. I guess it just seems to good to be true to have you. When I'm with you, I find a part of myself that I've never known," I confessed. It was always so easy to say these things at these late hours whilst lying in her arms. "That's all I know...but it's all I need to know."
She leaned down and kissed me again, but this time the kiss wasn't a peck, and I got lost in her taste. Suddenly I became aware of her sweet body mist, of being wrapped up in her, of my desire that needed be quenched. I rolled over a bit so that half of my body was on top of hers. My desire went further than mere lust and I needed her right then more than I'd ever needed anyone in my life. I wanted to physically and mentally become one with her, I wanted to hold her and never let go. I broke the kiss and whispered softly in her ear that I needed her. She slid my sweater over my head, to which my t-shirt quickly followed. She kissed my stomach and I closed my eyes. She softly and teasingly ran her tongue over my navel and I sighed with content. She was all I ever needed. In the blink of an eye we were both naked and she was lovingly going down on me.
Her tongue on me made everything okay again. It was an intoxicating feeling and it didn't take long before I was screaming out, my body not able to handle the intense feeling or understand the pleasure.
And then we fell asleep in my bed -- Ally, Damon and me.