- Thank you to all the people who have e-mailed me. It means a lot and I'm glad you like the story. ** No, I don't know `Nsync so... this is probably not real. (I say probably because, hey, you never know. lol)
Let The Sun Fall Part 5
"It's been almost two weeks. I dunno what they are going to say or what I'm going to say. I don't want this to change things but it will, and I don't want this to be a defining moment in my life, the most important thing that happens to me but..."
"Josh, you just told the person you have spent eight years falling deeper in love with that you, in fact, did love him. That is going to be a defining moment no matter what. But, it won't be the most important thing in your life. You have too many other things that are much greater, like everything about you," Tony smiled as he finished helping JC pack. "And one day, this will just be another moment that ends up working out, somehow." Tony zipped the suitcase and handed it to Josh. What more could he say. He had already convinced Josh to go back, that was a miracle in itself.
"Tony," JC pushed everything else out of his mind for a second, to give credit to the man that has been his savior the past two weeks. "I don't know how to thank you for everything. You saved me from myself when I needed it most. I love you for that, and so many other things." JC smiled at him as he pulled Tony into a hug. "Thank you."
"No problem man. You know I'm here for you, whenever and for whatever reason. I don't want to see you hurt Josh. Don't let them do that to you, don't let him. He doesn't know what he gave up, and what he will never have will haunt him." JC nodded, tears coming back of course.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you. If you ever felt anything like I fell know..." Tony brought his finger up to JC's mouth.
"Shh, it's over and done, and in the end you came to me when it was important and we helped each other. There's nothing else to say." Tony smiled and started to turn around but JC stopped him.
"But..." when Tony went to interrupt this time, the smile was gone and tears of his own were threatening.
"Josh, don't. It's done. Let's just leave it. Please." And with that he picked up Josh's bags. "Come on, we don't want to be late and I know I could never talk you into this again." Tony smiled and JC let out a little laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go."
"I can't believe I'm so nervous, I don't even know why I'm nervous." Chris sat at the airport terminal, his leg couldn't stop bouncing.
"Will you stop! You are just going to make him nervous and uncomfortable, and that is the last thing he needs. Things are going to be tough as it is." Joey calmed him a little, but only by pure will did he still his leg. "Besides, imagine what Justin is feeling right now." Joey and Chris let that statement lead their gaze to the man that stood a few feet from them.
Justin stood by the window, letting his eyes get hopeful every time a plan touched down, every time one rode by the gate. His eyes would return to the sadness as the planes never failed to go right past the gate, or stop just short of it. Part of him was glad that the plane that came in wasn't Josh's. He still didn't know what to say to him, he wasn't sure he could say anything to him. Did he even have a right? He didn't think so, and he was sure Josh didn't either. But he was coming back and that was good. They hadn't had to cancel anything too important and if he had stayed gone, the press, the fans, everyone would have known that he ran away. But he was coming back, so at least that wouldn't happen. And he knew Josh, he knew him well enough to know that when he got back, he would get to work and it would be like he never left, at least professionally. Outside of work, that is what scared Justin. How would he act then?
"Justin," Lance's voice was low, and Justin knew he was right next to him, ready to catch Justin if Justin fell into another fit of tears and confusion. But Justin had been doing good, and he knew he could make it, that is until JC looked him straight into eyes. Then... "What are thinking about?" Lance's had came to rest upon Justin's shoulder.
"What else?" Justin had already talked to Lance, and the other two, looking for anything that might help him stand when JC's look made him fall.
"I know things don't seem like it now," Lance started with advice that he had been reluctant to give in the beginning. He felt that it would be best for Justin if he could figure it out on his own, but it clearly wasn't going to work out like that. "But things will be OK. Josh loves you and that's not going to change, but he's not just in love with you. He loves you as his best friend, and that is not going to change either. Things will go back to the way they were, in time, and this will only make you two stronger, heck, it will make all of us stronger." He paused and looked at Justin. Justin continued to look out the window, but Lance knew he heard every word. "Just be his friend, like you always have been. That will be enough. I promise." Justin wanted to turn to Lance, and tell him that it wasn't enough when JC left, why would it be now? But he hoped that Lance was right too much to ruin that hope.
"Guys, the plane just landed." Chris's voice brought Justin back as he saw the plane finally stop at the gate he stood.
`Tony was right, things will be OK. I hope they aren't mad at me, I don't want that. I wish I had even thought about everyone else when I left. They are part of this too. But how could I think of them when...'
"Sir, we've arrived. Is there anything I can help you with?" JC looked up at the stewardess. He had been putting papers away in his bag, but his thoughts didn't allow him to do that all that fast. The aisles were thinning and he surmised he should have been up by now.
"No thanks, I got it." JC zipped his bag up and stood up.
"You have a nice day then. Welcome to Orlando." With that and her smile she left.
"All right Josh, here you go."
"I think he is doing this on purpose, waiting to be the last one off the plane. Just to make us wait." Joey tried his best to make someone smile, laugh, anything, but he could barely do it so he couldn't expect them to.
"Wait! I think I see him. Isn't that..." Chris's voice trailed off as Justin stepped up to the front. He looked straight at the man Chris had been talking about, and sure enough, Chris was right. Justin took in the figure as he walked blankly to their direction, not really noticing them. He looked thinner than usual, which was saying a lot since JC was tiny to begin with. His hair was messy as if he had just woken up so maybe he at least got some sleep on the plane. His clothes were new, Justin knew everything in JC's wardrobe and he had never seen those. And while he was looking at clothes, Justin's gaze traveled up to JC's neck, and it noticed it was bare. There was no thin black rope that usually hung there, threatening to fall apart from overuse. He had only once seen Josh take it off since they day Justin had given to him as a birthday present that came from him and his own money. It was one of the first things Justin had bought all by himself'. He took it off when they did a photo shoot but he put it back on afterwards and said he would keep it on, he felt awkward without it'.
`I guess he got over that... over me.' Justin thought as JC looked up. Justin had somehow managed to scoot off to the side, so when JC looked up, the first thing he caught was Joey, or maybe Chris. Yep, it was Chris as he saw him take off to JC. Before he knew it, Chris was covering JC with his arms, in a hug that didn't give very often. Joey and Lance followed suit, standing in line for their turn to hug, while Justin timidly made his way to the man causing the big commotion.
"Oh my God, it's so good to see you. I though..." Joey quickly elbowed Chris when he thought Chris would say something he shouldn't. "Well, I'm just glad to have you back. We all are."
"Yeah, now we get back to work, yeah!" Lance's sarcasm at least brought a smile to JC's face as he got his hug. Joey took his turn and they were all saying twenty different things to JC, but JC lost track of them when Joey cleared his vision and Justin entered in. Justin's eyes averted JC's, constantly darting from one place to another, and he bit his lower lip as though he were a child. But the voices of Joey, Chris, and Lance drown out, and the only place left to look was right in front of him. And then he was looking into the eyes that he had been sure would make him fall, that would leave him breathless and sorry and wanting to change everything.
But everything Justin thought he would see in those eyes were missing. The anger, the hurt, the pain... they weren't there. They weren't exactly filled with a lot of any emotion, but it didn't seem to be intentionally, at least Justin hoped not.
"Well, we should go get your bags and stuff. Come on guys, you know JC's got fifty bags even though he was gone for two weeks." Joey's humor didn't do much to help Justin out, JC didn't crack a smile, but he was thankful he tried. When they guys had gone, JC still stood, right there with Justin, not saying anything, not moving an inch.
"Justin, I..." Justin stopped him as he moved forward, put his head on JC's chest, his arms around his waist, and squeezed as tight as he could.
"Don't ever leave me again. Please." JC brought his arms up slowly, in shock at the reaction he had gotten.
Somehow, he managed to get out, "Never."
TBC?
Sorry, it took so long, holiday plans really got the best of me. lol Talk to yas laters.