Lies within Ourselves – Chapter 4
Warning: This story involves gay scenes and some harsh language if you are offended by this or it is illegal to read where you live please leave now. Otherwise enjoy!
This is a work of pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased.
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"That was amazing!" I said looking up at Matt and I saw a smile on his face as he nodded in agreement. I have to admit I was really nervous about doing it for the first time but I am sure glad we did. I know that it will take a few times more before it isn't that painful anymore but I was willing to do it. Matt was amazing and so gentle, this made me so glad that we found each other because the care that I see in his eyes is true.
Both of us just laid there, Matt's arms were wrapped around me and my head was leaning on his chest and I could hear his beautiful heartbeat. I never wanted this moment to end but we both knew we better get dressed soon before my parents got home from work. I got up first and headed to the bathroom because I had to relieve the pressure from my bladder. Matt followed close behind me and told me he was going to take a quick shower and asked me if I wanted to join to save time and I agreed. After the shower we both got dressed and headed to the living room to see if anyone was home yet.
"Hey, guys. What have you been up to?" My sister said with a grin on her face which made me blush. Had she been home the whole time and heard us.
"Umm not much just relaxing. How about you?" I said back looking away so she could not see my face.
"Oh you know not much going on here. Just got done with classes for the day and came back here to relax." She told us. If she did hear us she never said anything but we ended up hanging out with her until Matt had to leave to go home. He has been spending so much time here that his mom wants some quality time with him. It sucks to be away from him but I understand that he needs time alone and with his mom.
My parents have been really accepting of the whole situation and they trust me enough to make my own decisions. It is really awesome to have a support system like this. Both Matt and I decided that we were not going to officially come out in school yet because we were not ready for that. It was hard enough to come out to our parents let alone the whole school. I know a lot of our classmates will be supportive but I also know that a lot of them won't and we don't want to make out last months of school a living hell.
It was getting late and I was having trouble sleeping so after a few minutes I got up out of bed and logged on to my computer which sat on my desk a crossed the room. I started to search about local LGBT support and materials that might help both Matt and I learn, we were basically clueless about this stuff being so new out of the closet and I have never really thought about it before. I shot Matt a quick text asking if he was awake but never heard anything back so he must have been asleep. I knew that everything was changing so fast not that it was a bad thing but just really scary because I had no idea where this would all take us. Finally after a restless night I ended up falling asleep for about five hours before waking up to go to school.
"You look like shit." Matt said as I got into the car.
"Thanks. I sure feel the love today." I shot back. "Yea. I didn't sleep very well last night."
Matt got a look of concern and said, "Is everything ok?" It made me feel so good that he cared so much for me. I have never felt this way before and would have never guessed in a million years that I would have someone who loved me so much. I know that we are young and still in high school but I did love Matt so much and I knew that the road ahead might not be smooth but I was sure going to try and enjoy the ride.
"Yeah. Just a lot on my mind lately. I mean so much has changed, and after being attacked it just seems to be so unreal." I said. There had been no leads on who attacked me and that scared me because what if they try to do it again. Matt tried to be by my side at all times and I even saw Travis a couple of times watching out for me. He still was not in school but I went and talked to the principle about it and told them that I think he should be given a second chance.
"I know what you mean. I can't believe just how much has changed in so little time but you know babe that I am here for you and won't let anything happen to you." Matt said with that grin of his that melted my heart every time.
We headed to lockers which mine was not far from his and got all of our books for the next three classes. I had Statistics I and Matt had English and having a math class in the morning was not the highlight of my year. As I was walking down the hall I made notice to be more observant of my surroundings which most people were just doing their own thing trying to make it to class in time but I notice there were a few glances that went my way. All I wanted to do was get my junior year over with as little drama as possible. Amber was in my first class with me and we always sat next to each other. I felt bad because with everything that happened we didn't get a chance to hang out as much as we usually did.
"Amber." I whispered to her. "Do you have any plans tonight?"
"No not really. I have to study a bit because my parents are on my case about my grades." She whispered back.
I smiled and said "Perfect. Come over to my house after school and we will all study together. Then we will head out to Wes Kinsey's party that is tonight. I need to get out and have some fun after everything that has happened." I could see her excitement in her eyes. Amber was always up for a party and also she knew that studying with us would please her parents as that would help her get them off of her back for a while. I was still a little nervous about going out but I knew that I should face my fears and at least try to be somewhat normal if there is such a thing. The first three classes went by so slow and finally it was lunch time. I told Amber that I would meet Matt and her in the lunch room but I had to go to the bathroom first. I was walking down the hall minding my own business when I was shoved into a locker and when I looked up my heart stopped for a few seconds. It was one of the football players as they passed I heard him say "Watch were you are going fag." Great I thought, just what I need more problems at school why am I such a big target I hate being smaller than everyone else.
"What's wrong dude?" Matt said as he looked up at me.
I sighed and sat down at the lunch table next to him and replied "One of those stupid jocks from the football team pushed me into a locker and it pissed me off. What gives them the right to treat other's that way."
"Sean, don't let it bother you. You know that you are twice as better than they are. You are a wonderful guy and that is why I love you." Matt leaned in and said to me this made me smile and forget about what happened.
"So I invited Amber to go along with us to the party tonight." I said.
Matt smiled and replied, "Great that is awesome the more the merrier." I could tell he was really excited. Matt had always liked to go to parties and I did too and I usually ended up drinking too much. It was something that I am not proud of but I was trying to change.
I was really excited about the party tonight. It was actually Sean's idea which really surprised me but I was happy that he wanted to go do something. We really have not done much since his attack. I was beginning to worry about him getting depressed. After school I helped my mom for a few hours until it was time to get ready and pick up Sean and Amber for the party. We decided that we would just all ride together and since I never really drink that much it would be safer to have a designated driver. What happened with Sean today at school really bothered me and I was getting tired of everyone treating him like shit in school. No one really bothered me because I use to be on the football team but I kept telling them all to leave Sean alone but it was pointless.
I knew that it would only get worse once everyone found out that we were a couple but to be honest I really didn't care what other people thought but I refrained from telling anyone because I want Sean to be safe and happy and I knew it was not ready to come out to the school yet which I am fine with.
"What's up man!?" I heard Wes Kinsey holler across the hallway. Wes was a cool guy and had no problem with Sean and actually looked after him sometimes whenever he saw him being bullied. We have all know Wes since middle school and we hung out a few times. "You are coming to my party tonight?"
"Hell yeah, wouldn't miss it for anything." I replied back.
Wes gave a big grin and said, "Great! What about Sean and Amber are they coming?" This made me smile that he would invite both of my friends. I think he knew that I wouldn't go without them.
"Yeah they both are coming. Thanks for inviting us all." I said.
"No problem! You guys are cool and I would rather have you all there than most people." Wes replied with a genuine smile. I thought to myself that I hope no one starts trouble with Sean tonight.
"Are any of the football players going to be there?" I asked him.
Wes thought for a minute "Could be. I mean a lot of people are going. Why do you ask?"
"Sean is having some problems with them bullying him. I just don't want any trouble tonight." I said with a worried look.
"Fuck dude. I will make sure no one messes with Sean. I know we are not close but I see him as a buddy and no one messes with my friends." Wes remarked.
I smiled and said "Thanks man! That means a lot to me." After hurrying to my last class, which I was late for, I was feeling much better about tonight. My history class was the most boring one all day and I could not wait till it was over with. Once I heard the bell ring I jumped up and hustled to my locker and to find Sean and Amber. I guess we were all going over to Sean's house after school to study before getting ready for the party.
"Babe, how was the rest of your day?" I asked Sean.
He smiled at me "It was long. All my classes seem to drag on and on." I laughed and agreed with him that mine were to same. When we arrived at his house he gave me a passionate kiss and I said that I waited all day for that. No one was home yet so we had the house to ourselves until 7 which we were leaving at 8 anyways.
"Ok guys we can really study or just get ready for the party. It's up to you. I know that I am good for study and know pretty much all that I need to for the test next week." Sean said.
"Well I think we should study just a little I need to get some stuff down so I can pass it so my parents don't go ballistic on me." Amber sighed.
"I am up for anything." I said. I also needed to finish a paper that was due soon that I put off till the last minute. After some studying Amber left to get ready and I ended up getting a shower at Sean's.
When we arrived at Wes's house that night the party was in full swing. There was a massive amount of people both inside and out. We all rode together and I was going to be the designated driver. When we entered the house Wes immediately came toward us and greeted us then headed back to his crowd of people.
"Geez this party is really crazy." Sean said. "Hell yeah! I have never seen one this big before. What do you guys want to do first?" Amber asked. Sean suggested we get something to drink and I grabbed coke and they each got a beer. I reminded them not to go overboard but said they could all crash at my house later because my mom was a heavy sleeper.
Sean and I went off on our own to find some people from school we may know and I found a few of my buddies from school that did not mind Sean, not that I cared if they didn't I just didn't want anyone to bother him because I wanted him to have a good time. We all chatted for a while and even got into a game of beer bong. I just watched Sean who was surprisingly good for a first timer. The guys all cheered him on and smiled knowing that he was having the time of his life.
"Sean you were amazing at that. Are you sure you have never played before." I asked teasingly.
"Nope that was my first time. Matt I hate to ask but can we leave now though I am feeling dizzy and just want to lie down." Sean asked. I of course said yes and we headed to find Amber who was passed out in one of the bathrooms. We got her up and put her in the car.
"I think we made a new friend tonight." I said to Sean as I started to drive toward my house.
"Yeah Wes is pretty cool. I mean he is so nice to me unlike most of the football players." Sean said. I put my free hand on Sean's and glanced over and gave him a smile. When I looked back on the road ahead I saw the most horrific scene. Two cars on the side of the road that were completely smashed. I pulled over and both Sean and I got out. I pulled out my cell and called 911 then cautiously headed over to the cars. To my shock it was Travis and a guy named Brock from the football team.
"Travis are you ok? What the fuck happened." I said. "Are you drunk?"
"No I am not drunk I was on my way home from work and this car came out of nowhere on my side of the road." Travis said and he seemed very light headed. "I don't know if he is ok. He has not moved."
"Well from the smell of it he has been drinking. He probably was at Wes's party." Sean said. I went to my car and got some towels I had for gym glass and wrapped Travis in one to keep him warm and from some blood that was on his face and I carefully as not to move or touch Brock laid one over him to keep him warm until the ambulance arrived.
Sean waived me over to my car and whispered, "That's the guy that shoved me into my locker. Geez I hope he is ok, even though he was a jerk to me."
"Yeah I know what you mean. No one deserves this but he is going to be in a lot of trouble because he was drinking and driving." I replied back. After what seemed like forever the ambulance arrived and so did the police. Travis gave his statement along with a sobriety test which he passed.
After a few minutes I saw Sean walk up to Travis and ask if he needed a ride home. This shocked me since Travis was the one that made Sean's life hell at school for so long. Travis thanked us and we headed toward his house. Amber was still passed out in the back seat but she was doing fine and Sean was back there with her.
"Thanks guys. I know I don't deserve you both being so nice to me but I appreciate you trying to be nice to me." Travis said as he got out and headed into his house.
"Every day you amaze me babe." I said to Sean with a big smile. "After all he has done to you and yet you offer him a ride. That is what I love about you. The sweetest guy I ever met." I reached over and gave him a big kiss.
Sean smiled and said "I try my best to do the right thing. It's hard sometimes and I still have bitterness towards it all but you know what maybe one day we will look back at this and laugh. Who knows maybe we will be friends with Travis someday he seems to be changing for the better."
I agreed on that ever since the attack Travis has been doing nothing but be nice and try to help us. I quickly headed toward my house so that we could get Amber inside to my guest room to make sure she was all right and get her settled for the night.
Arriving at my house we both helped Amber into the house and got her lots of water to try and keep her fluids up. After we set her up in the guest room Sean and I headed to my room to get some rest. Tonight was definitely eventful and had no idea it would turn out the way it did. Both Sean and I stripped down to our underwear and climbed into my bed. I wrapped my arms around him and he laid his head on my chest and we both fell asleep almost instantly.
I awoke before Sean and was staring at this beautiful boy that I couldn't believe was mine. The love I had in my heart could not compare to anything in the world and I was the luckiest person alive. I watched as he slept and couldn't help myself and leaned down and kissed his sweet lips.
"Good morning, sexy." He looked up at me and said.
"Didn't mean to wake you." I said smiling down at him.
He grinned and said, "I can think of worse ways of waking up." This made me smile even more and we ended up kissing and making out for fifteen minutes before we heard a knock on my door.
"Geez. Guys what happened last night. I feel like shit." Amber said as she entered the room.
"Yea well you look like it." Sean said laughing.
Amber hit his shoulder and said, "Thanks bitch."
We all sat there and informed her about all that happened last night including the car crash. She was shocked and then said she better get home before her parents kill her. Sean and I got dressed and took her home then headed to his house so that he could get fresh clothes and a shower. This weekend was going to be great we planned just to spend it together as long as I was with Sean it didn't matter what we did and yes I know that sounds sappy but it's how I felt.
We stayed at his house at talked to his parents for a couple of hours then headed out to get something to eat. I wanted to take Sean somewhere special and I heard of this Italian Restaurant not far from his house that was supposed to be amazing. Sean looked amazing having getting ready and took my breath away like he did so many times before. I pulled him in for a hug and kiss before we departed for our date.
"Matty, this is so wonderful. Thank you so much for this wonderful night." Sean said with a big smile and giving me a hug.
"Only the best for my babe." I said to him. We pulled into the restaurant and parked not far from it. As we were walking Sean put his hand in mine and for the first time I didn't give a care about what others thought. Right as we were about to head in the door my heart stopped seeing two couples ahead of us, Jake and Lance from the football team and their girlfriends; I knew that trouble was going to happen once they say us.
"Matt... Let's just go. I don't want trouble." Sean whispered to me which real concern in his voice.
"Why should we have to leave? We have as much right to be as they do. Fuck them and let's stay and enjoy ourselves." I said with anger in my voice. We walked up past them and entered into the doors. I heard one of them say "faggots" but we just kept walking. This was going to have repercussions at school but I didn't care I am proud of who I am and who I love. The only thing I was worried about was Sean I feared things would get even worse for him at school but I would be by his side.
We were seated and Sean spoke up after a bit of silence, "Matty are you ok?"
"Yeah babe, it just pisses me off how people treat others." I said with not only anger but sorrow. I was tired of all the hate in the world and I know I couldn't change it but it still sucks.
Sean sighed and said "It does suck. I know how it feels. Someday I want to work to help change things in the world. I don't know how but I know that this is hope out there."
"You have the most beautiful soul. I love you so much!" I said with tears in my eyes.
Sean gave me a hug and kiss "Hey don't cry. It will be ok. We have each other and that is something. We will manage."
"I am so lucky to have found you. You are so amazing." I said. If this was a movie it would be the sappiest one ever but I didn't care I wanted to let Sean know my true feelings.
We enjoyed the rest of our meal in peace and talked about upcoming events and what we wanted to do this summer. Sean told me that his parents wanted to go to the beach and offered for my mom and me to go with him which I would love but had to see I my mom could take her vacation then. Once we finished I paid the bill and Sean left the tip. When we got to my car I the anger that had subsided during dinner was in full force.
"Those fucking assholes are going to pay for this." I said.
"Matt don't do anything you will regret. Just call the police and report vandalism and let them handle it please." Sean said begging me to calm down. "We were having such a great night."
All I could concentrate on was the word Faggot keyed into my car and all the windows smashed along with the tires slashed. I could tell the rest if the year was only going to get worse.
A note to everyone I started a new job so it might take me a little longer to get new chapters out. I will try to get at least one a week if not more!
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