Life as I Knew It

Disclaimers: Yeah, these aren't fun, but I guess they're necessary. If you're under 18, or if hot gay sex offends you, or if it's illegal to be reading this where you are, you probably shouldn't be reading this. I guess. Or you can, you know, you don't have to listen to me, lol.

This is fiction, so yeah, people and the events that occur are all fake. I may use the names of real places, but other than that, this story is completely made up.

And also, I'd appreciate it of you DIDN'T take this story and post it somewhere else without my permission. That's called stealing, and it's not cool.

-------------------------------------------------- Note to Readers: Hey guys! Well, here it is, the big first chapter!

You know, I probably would've taken a lot longer to write this, but all of you really kept insisting that I send it in as early as possible, and who am I to refuse? I'm just a lowly author ):

But seriously, thanks to all of the kind words about the prologue. It really boosted my confidence. You guys are really great.

Oh, and to all the grammar&spelling Nazi's out there, I dare you to find some this time >:D Ahaha, just kidding, don't. D: But I did make sure to double check carefully!

Please send questions, comments, or a simple "Hello!" at crazyturtule90@yahoo.com (:

sigh and YES, I really did misspell "turtle" when I wrote my email. No, I didn't do it on purpose. lol, who would even do that? xD

Anyways, here it is! I hope the first chapter meets all of your guys' expectations. :D

Life As I Knew It

Chapter 1: Resurface, My Love

"I fell in love like you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." -John Green

I was flying on a cloud high above the seas. I saw everything as if I were an airplane. People turned to nothing, buildings turned to dots, grass turned to green, and the ocean turned to blue. Everything was simple from up here.

The rush of air in my face was like a breath of life. The wind blew away all my troubles like a tornado clears a whole town. The height had no effect on me whatsoever. If anything, I felt safer from up here. It took me away from all my problems. From high up, they seemed as insignificant as the specks below me.

But suddenly, the scenery started to change. In an instant, clouds turned black. Seas turned grey. The ground that looked so far away just a second ago came rushing towards me. I realized that I was falling, spiraling towards the earth out of control. I tried to fight it at first, tried to fly again like before, but it was no use. I was falling further and further downward, going even faster after each passing second. But just a millisecond before I hit the ground, my vision turned to white. Silence. And then I woke up.

"Lee! LEE!" Carter was yelling at me to get up. "C'mon, Lee, it's your first day of high school! Chop chop, let's GO!"

"Nngh," I groaned, "Don't wanna."

I heard his footsteps stomping toward my bed, so I brought the covers over my head and curled up into a ball. He picked my whole body up, blanket and all, and dropped me on the floor.

I sat up and glared at him. "That really hurt!"

He stood over me with his arms crossed. "Are you getting up yet?"

"Yes, yes! I'm up, darn it. Jerk."

I got up with a loud groan and stretched, reaching for my thick, black-rimmed glasses. I stood up and faced Carter with a prominent scowl on my face. I really wasn't a morning person.

"Happy now?"

"Yeup!" He smirked, "Aw, c'mon Lee, don't be such a grump. I don't want you to miss your first day is all. Aren't you excited about going to school with me again?"

"No," I huffed annoyingly, "I was just fine when you left for high school, you know."

He looked at me with big brown eyes. "So, you didn't miss your big bro?"

I was about to deny it, but he always got me when he gave me that face.

I sighed, "Fine. Yes, I missed you. Happy?"

He smiled, "Atta boy. C'mon, dress up and come downstairs. I get to drive you to school from now on."

I nodded, "Oh, how noble of you. Now get out."

He sighed and left, while muttering, "What ever happened to my sweet little brother..."

I rolled my eyes and shut the door behind him. I looked through my closet trying to find clothes to wear. I really tried to let on that I didn't care about my appearance, but who would I be kidding. Every high school kid cares about what they look like in some way. I pulled out shirt after shirt, trying to decide what to wear, but seeing a sky blue shirt reminded me of my dream. Flying, and then falling. What did it mean?

"Oh Riley," I thought to myself, "Since when have your dreams ever made sense. If there were any truth to them, you'd be having sex with Logan Lerman in a Starbuck's bathroom right now."

I giggled to myself, then quickly brought myself on task. I picked out a black shirt that Isabella said really brought out my eyes, a pair of khaki shorts, and my signature pair of black converse. I tried them on, and luckily they still fit perfectly. Not that I've been doing any growing lately; Heck, I think I'm still the same size as I was last year.

I washed up in the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and mussed up my brown locks. I liked the messy look I had going on. I smiled at myself and went downstairs.

"It's about time, honey," My mom called from the kitchen. "It's the first day of school, not prom."

I grumbled a reply and sat down next to Carter and across from Dad. I said a "good morning" to him but he just grunted in response. Carter saw the look on my face and gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder. I gave him a weak smile and went back to eating.

Our Dad's distant attitude never had much of an effect on Carter, but that's because it was obvious he liked Carter a whole lot more than he did me. Carter was that tough, high school football star that he wanted us both to be. But with my small build, it's only natural that he'd ignore me and put more of his efforts into Carter. It bothered me, and despite my attempts, I could never get over it. I was shocked out of my thoughts, though, when Dad actually started speaking to me.

"So, Riley," Dad said from behind the newspaper, "I trust you'll be trying out for the football team at school today."

I had no intentions whatsoever of joining football, but I had no idea how to respond. I mean, Dad was actually TALKING to me! I gave Carter a panicked glance and he looked just as surprised as I did.

With a shaky voice, I said, "Well, um, I've thought about it, but football... doesn't really seem to be my thing, you know?"

Dad put down his newspaper and gave me a hard stare. I felt Carter immediately put his hand on my knee. He gave it a slight pat and I felt a little better.

"Well, have you ever even tried it?" Dad asked a little forcefully.

I was sweating a lot at this point. "I mean, yeah of course, I tried playing with Ethan, but I just never... got it."

He was getting angrier now. "Well if you practiced with Ethan, why shouldn't you try out? You don't have to be the quarterback, but for God's sakes, at least do SOMETHING with yourself!"

My bottom lip started to tremble, and despite Carter rubbing my knee comfortingly, I felt myself beginning to cry. I quickly glanced at Dad, and it was obvious he wanted a response. I didn't want to speak though, in fear of breaking down into tears in front of him, and then he'd REALLY let me have it.

"Richard, leave the kid alone," Mom said, waltzing into the dining room, "If he doesn't want to play football, then he doesn't want to play!"

"Stay out of it, Irene. I just want what's best for him." Dad shot my mom a glare, but it immediately weakened when she matched it with one of her own.

Mom growled, "Don't you ever tell me to stay out of my children's business. And don't even start with that, "I just want what's best for him" garbage. You just want what's best for yourself."

Dad was about to speak, but Mom raised an eyebrow and he quickly backed off. You knew you were in deep when Mom raised an eyebrow at you.

"C'mon," Carter ushered, "Let's go before things get ugly."

I nodded and turned to leave, but I quickly walked back and gave my mom a quick kiss and a hug.

"Thanks Mom," I whispered, "Love you."

"Love you too. Give 'em hell," She winked.

I cracked a smile. I turned to say goodbye to Dad, but he was giving me his signature, "I'm so disappointed in you" glare. Like I wasn't used to that one already. I just gave him a weak smile and practically ran out the door and jumped into Carter's truck.

The ride to school was quiet part of the way. Carter knew I didn't like to talk after getting into an argument with Dad. But this time, it was me who broke the silence.

"Carter?" I asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think... maybe I should join the football team?"

He looked at me incredulously. "What the-- Why would you join the football team? You hate football! You said so yourself. Plus, I don't want you to get hurt. The guys on the team are real hard-asses."

I sighed, "I know... I'm just... tired of Dad being so disappointed in me all the time. Maybe I can do this one thing that'll make him happy."

"Lee, he's not--"

"He is," I interjected, "And you know better than anyone else, so don't lie to me."

He gave me a sad look and then kept driving. It was quiet for a while.

Carter suddenly interrupted the silence with a loud laugh. "Hey, Lee, I know we're supposed to be having a serious brother moment and all, but did you see Dad's face when Mom swooped in? Fucking hysterical."

I tried not to, but a small giggle seeped out. He saw me laughing from the corner of his eye and kept going.

"Yeah, it's kind of the real reason we left so early. If we stayed any longer, I think I might've busted out laughing."

"Yeah," I chuckled, "When Mom raised that eyebrow, Dad was all, 'Whoops, I think I just shit myself."

We both started laughing wildly at this point. Carter, because he's heard me curse only a handful of times in his life. Me, I was laughing to take my mind off Dad. And it worked.

It took a while, but we finally calmed down right when Carter parked in front of the school.

"Well, here it is, sport." He said, "Central Valley High School. Your new cell-- Er, home." I punched him playfully on the arm while he chuckled.

I glanced at the school warily, shouldered my bag, and stepped out.

Carter called to me through the window, "Have a kick-ass day, Lee! And if any punks give you trouble, come and find me, okay?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "What ever would I do without my chivalrous protector," I said.

He laughed and drove off, leaving me alone in front of the high school doors.

I contemplated walking through the doors, head held high, and owning the hallways like Carter did. I tried, I really did, but... I chickened out. Sue me.

I called Ethan and he picked up on the first ring.

"Riley? What's up?"

"Hey, Ethan, where are you? I thought you, me, and Isabella were going to meet up before the first bell?"

He gasped, probably just remembering. "Shit, I'm so sorry, dude! I totally forgot!"

"It's no problem," I said, "So, where should we meet?"

He sighed, "I forgot to tell you, but I'm trying out for the football team this year. They're low on players, and they could totally use me. Besides, I've got a rockin' hot body after all those work-out sessions with your brother. -- Oh, speaking of, I think I see him. Wanna talk to him?"

"Nah, he just dropped me off. I'll just... talk to you later then? Me and Isabella will save you a seat at lunch."

He agreed quickly. "Yeah, totally. Hey, dude, try-outs are starting. I'm gonna miss my first few periods, but yeah, I'll catch up with you guys at lunch."

"Okay... Um, bye." I said, but he'd already hung up.

I sighed. I know he lost a lot, and I mean a lot, of weight since early middle school, and it's probably a big deal for him being in shape for once, but he's been so different lately. He's been trying so hard to hang out with the popular crowd at school. He hasn't really been ditching us, but it's obvious that he wants other friends.

Suddenly, my phone started ringing. I looked down at it and saw it was Isabella.

"Hello?"

"Hey," she said, "Here's a riddle for you. What has a sore ass, a frown on his face, and a phone in one hand?"

"Sore ass, what are you--"

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp stinging pain on my left cheek. I yelped and whirled around to glare at a smug-faced Isabella.

"Hi!" She said cheerfully, chewing gum and twirling her shoulder-length white hair with one finger.

"First off," I grumbled, "That freaking hurt! Second, when did you cut your hair?"

She hooked my arm in her's and lead me up the stairs and into the building.

"Sorry, can't help myself. Your butt is so round and jiggly, it's so fun to mess with. And my hair? I just felt like I needed a change, I guess. Short hair feels so nice, too! It feels so 'me'. Plus it's a hell of a lot less work to fix up in the morning."

"It looks great," I offered.

She smiled and patted my cheek. "As sweet as always. You, my friend, haven't changed a bit."

I blushed and told her to shut up. She pulled out a slip of paper with a combination on it and told me she'd already picked a locker out for the both of us.

We've been sharing lockers since the sixth grade. Back then, when I found out that all the lockers were taken, I'd asked Ethan if I could share lockers with him, but his was too stuffed with food, so I ended up having to share with Isabella instead. I laughed at the memory.

"What's so funny?" Isabella smirked, while putting both of our things into the locker.

"Oh, nothing. Just remembering when Ethan used to be this sweet, chubby kid, and how his locker was always full of food," I giggled.

She laughed too. "Aww, yeah, I remember. He was so adorable."

We laughed again, but then she gave me a side glance. She looked at me warily, and preoccupied her hands with posters for our locker.

"I don't mean to sound like a bitch, and I know you two've grown close over the years, but I kind of get the feeling that Ethan doesn't really wanna... hang with us anymore," She said carefully, maybe afraid of hurting my feelings. And she would've too, if I hadn't already thought that myself.

"Yeah," I said, "I know..."

She nodded and gave me a sad smile. Then she punched me softly on the shoulder. "Hey, cheer up. We're... probably just being paranoid. Right?"

I nodded and gave her my best fake smile, but she saw right through it. Years of friendship did that to you. Just like years of friendship made it hurt when you realized one of your best friends didn't really want you as their best friend anymore. The bell rang, breaking us from our conversation.

She cleared her throat. "Erm, anyways. Hell has officially begun. What's your first class?"

I looked down at my schedule and smiled, "Honors English."

"Lucky! I have--" She looked down at her's and made a sour face. "Fuck. Algebra."

I laughed. She stole my schedule and compared them.

"Rats. We only have like two classes together. World History and Honors Biology," She groaned.

I laughed again. Isabella shared my love of books, so history would be a cinch for her. But she also shared my disdain towards math and science. Though, I was still better than her at both, mostly because I'm always studying.

She said, "Stop laughing! After all, YOU'RE gonna be the one having to help me."

I rolled my eyes and began to protest, but she cut me off. "Nope! Nuh-uh. It's done. Decided. Finished. Burrito!"

"Ugh, but you're already in high school-- Wait, did you just say 'burrito'?"

"Yeah?" She shrugged, "Isn't that what Spanish people say when something's finished?"

I looked at her for a moment, expecting her to burst out laughing and calling me lame for falling for yet another of her pranks, but she looked really serious this time, frightfully serious.

"Isabella..." I said slowly, "Uh, I think the word you're looking for is 'finito'..."

She paused, thought for a second, and then slowly nodded her head. "Hmm... That makes a lot more sense..."

We stared at each other, not really knowing what to say. It was a weird moment. Not uncomfortable, just weird. Then the warning bell rang, and she started walking the other direction.

"Well, uh, anyways, I'm off! See you at lunch! Burritooooooo!" She called out, as she walked down the halls. A lot of kids gave her strange looks, maybe for her snow-white hair, but probably because of what she just yelled out. Isabella didn't react though, just kept on walking, head held high. That was the thing about her I was so jealous of. She just didn't care what anyone else thought.

I found myself smiling at her quirky behavior, and then quickly walked into my own class before I was marked tardy. It was packed with a lot of kids, most of them seemed to be sophomores. I weaved through the desks and sat down at the very back of the class. I didn't get noticed much from back here, but that's exactly why I chose it.

I drummed my fingers on the desk, waiting for the teacher. The bell rang, an obnoxiously loud sound that I knew I'd grow to hate. The door opened, and everyone turned, expecting it to be the teacher, but it wasn't. It was a tall, lightly-tanned guy, with soft brown eyes, and an embarrassed smile on his face. I felt that ever-familiar tingling in my crotch, and I quickly covered up in case I started to show, but no one noticed. Everyone just shrugged and went back to their conversations.

I found myself staring at him. His beautiful brown eyes swept over the class, and a slight grimace formed on his lips. But then he glanced to the back of the room, straight at me, and a look of shock came over his face. I thought he caught me staring, so I immediately faced the front and kept a straight face. Oh god, I hope this kid wasn't going to beat me up for staring at him. He sure looked like he could.

I was holding out hope, but I heard someone pull up a chair to the desk next to mine, and I knew I was doomed. He probably saw me staring at his gorgeous face, saw the awe in my eyes, and decided to bash my face in. I winced at the image.

But wait, I had an older brother! I had a big, buff, tough older brother, who was also the quarterback of the football team! I breathed out a sigh of relief. I was safe. If he caused me any problems, no matter how beautiful a creature he was, I'd sick Carter on him. I grinned evilly to myself.

"Hi," the voice said to me. A rich, slightly low voice that tickled my ears. It was exactly like I imagined he'd sound. Eerily enough, it was almost TOO close to how I thought he'd sound like. And he looked a little too familiar to me too. I couldn't really place a name on it, but I was almost certain I'd seen this kid before, a long time ago. I couldn't be sure though, because I'd only seen him from across the room. I didn't want to, but I had to see why I felt like I'd seen him somewhere before, why I felt like I'd heard that beautiful voice somewhere before.

I awkwardly turned my head and glanced at him. Our eyes made contact, my bright green eyes to his velvety brown ones, and I remembered exactly who he was. A flash of memories flashed through my head. It brought me back to my first day of sixth grade, three years ago. The day I met Ethan and Isabella. The day I had my first crush. The day me and my brother got into a fight with the same kid. The kid who ended up sending my brother to the hospital. The kid who transferred to a private school shortly after. And that kid was Aaron Summers, the guy who was sitting right next to me.

~~~~~~~~~*

"Hello?" He said again, a playful smile on his lips.

Why was he smiling? How dare he smile. Shoot, did he remember me? But why was he SMILING? It seemed genuine, happy, or so I thought. It could also be one of those evil, cynical smiles killers give their victims before they dismember their bodies. I didn't know. But what I did know was that I remembered him, and I was praying to God that he didn't remember me.

"Hey," Aaron laughed, "Is there something on my face? What's up?"

I looked at him, at that gorgeous, perfect smile, and I was afraid. This was the kid who made my first day of school a nightmare as well as a dream come true. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but I always thought of him as my first love, even though I was only eleven at the time. But then he sent Carter to the hospital and it just screwed with my head even more. So I just pushed my feelings down, deep inside. I ignores all of my urges to track him down, or to find out more about him. And it seemed to work, until now.

A bunch of emotions resurfaced all at once: anger, joy, surprise, sadness, but the most prominent one was fear. Fear that he would change my whole world, only to leave again. Fear that he would get ahold of my heart strings once more. Fear that he'll do something else to affect the ones I love.

"H-hi..." I whispered quietly. I could hear my voice trembling. I cleared my throat.

"Pretty loud class, huh?" He smiled that perfect smile of his.

I glanced up at him, freaked out, and then shot my eyes back to my desk.

"Yeah... l-loud." I forced a laugh out, but it sounded more like a screech.

Then he sighed and leaned back into his chair. "I guess you do remember me, huh?" He said quietly.

I gasped and then looked at him. He had a sad expression on his face. But that's not what confused me. What really threw me off were his eyes. His soft, brown eyes had regret written all over them.

"Yeah," I said slowly, "It's not like I can just forget that..."

"If... If it helps things, even just a little," He started, fumbling with his fingers, "I'd really like to apologize. I don't know why I tried picking that fight with your bro. I had a lot of... problems back then. But I got help. And going to a different school really helped. I'm just really sorry. I'd really like us to be... uh, friends. I hope we can just leave it in the past?"

His last sentence ended as a sort of question, like it all rested on me whether or not he could live with a clear conscience. And I still felt kind of scared, because I honestly thought he had some mental problems before, but I decided to forgive him. I mean, it's been three years. We've all changed since then. Besides, Mom always told me, "Forgive others as easily as you would want to be forgiven. We all make mistakes."

And that's what I chose to remember his actions as, a mistake. His pleading brown eyes also helped win his case, too.

"Yeah, sure... As long as you don't send me to the hospital next," I added playfully.

He looked a little hurt by my statement, but when he realized I was joking, his face broke out into a smile.

"Well, well. Looks like our little Einstein here has a sense of humor," Aaron grinned.

I blushed. "Shut up..."

He laughed, "I'm just kidding. Oh, yeah, I don't think we've ever really properly introduced ourselves. My name's Aaron Summers." I didn't realize we never actually introduced ourselves until he pointed it out. Come to think of it, I don't know how I've been able to remember his name all these years anyway. Or how I even found out. I kind of snapped out of it when I realized he was holding his hand out for me to shake.

"Oh, uh, my name's Riley," I said. I shook his hand, and just his warmth alone sent a shock running through my body. I felt his fingers squeeze mine a little, and I genuinely thought I might pass out. It was so warm and... Nice. Sadly, he released my hand, all too soon for my taste.

"So. Does this Riley have a last name?" He smiled.

I chuckled, "Yeah..."

"Can I know what it is?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" He asked.

"If you can guess it correctly," I grinned cheekily.

He smirked, and his eyes twinkled. "Is it... Flintstone?"

I laughed, "No."

"Jetson?"

I laughed even harder.

"Darn. Uh... Scooby-Doo?"

I laughed with a loud snort, earning a smile from Aaron. "No, stop, stop. I give up, you're horrible at this game. It's Monroe. Riley Monroe."

"Monroe... Riley Monroe..." He smiled widely, then blushed when he realized he was smiling. He cleared his throat, trying to resume his cool-guy demeanor. I giggled, which got me a playful scowl.

Suddenly, the teacher walked into the room. She was a tall woman with a sharp nose and narrow eyes, who wore her hair in a tight bun. She cast a glare to the class, and the conversations immediately ceased.

"Well," she cleared her throat. "My name is Ms. Higgins. I hope you all enjoyed your little conversations, because from now on, as long as I'm in this classroom, there will be no side chit-chatter. English is a language that requires dedication and focus. It is a blade that needs to be honed, and properly tended to..."

I kind of tuned her out after that part. Aaron was grinning at me. We settled for quiet chuckles and playful faces at each other. Talking was obviously one of the Seven Deadly Sins to Ms. Higgins.

We spent the rest of class smiling at each other. He looked like he was having a really good time, like he didn't have a care in the world right then; and so did I. Except I was also a little conflicted with my feelings. What would I do with all of these feelings bottled up inside? Tell him? I didn't know if he was even gay or not. I highly doubted it, too. He certainly looked like one of the straightest guys out there. And I don't think I'd ever be able to tell him I was gay anyways. I haven't even told anyone else yet: not my family, not Isabella, not Ethan. Nobody.

But another part of me was telling that half to shut up, to enjoy all of these feelings beating through. To stop worrying about things that didn't matter, and to enjoy what was going on at that very moment. And I did.

-------------------------------------------------- That's the first chapter! I really hope I didn't disappoint. D:

I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. My spring break is in the first week in April, so expect a new chapter sometime around then..... er, maybe. Sayonara.