Disclaimers: Yeah, these aren't fun, but I guess they're necessary. If you're under 18, or if gay love offends you, or if it's illegal to be reading this where you are, you probably shouldn't be reading this. I guess. Or you can, you know, you don't have to listen to me, lol.
This is fiction, so yeah, people and the events that occur are all fake. I may use the names of real places, but other than that, this story is completely made up.
And also, I'd appreciate it if you DIDN'T take this story and post it somewhere else without my permission. That's called stealing, and it's not cool.
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Note to readers: ... Okay, yeah, yeah. I'm terrible at updating. Like, usually people SAY they're terrible at updating here (and they're not really), but I'm just like... the worst, I know. Forgive me? ):
But this chapter was, for some reason, just especially hard to write. In fact, I think there's more going on in this one than any other chapter so far... but you guys can be the judge, lol.
Anyways, comments or questions are welcomed at crazyturtule90@yahoo.com I love hearing from you guys!
Life As I Knew It
Chapter 5: Paranoia ----------------------------------------------------
"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa
Okay, so there were two major thoughts dominating my mind when I first awoke from my very Aaron-filled slumber. First: "Wow, yesterday was kind of the best day of my life." Second: "Um, why exactly am I drenched in water?" But to my horror, when I glanced underneath my covers, it wasn't water.... Not even close, actually.
I was thrown into an immediate panic. Why was it back? I made sure not to drink anything before I went to bed last night. Besides, this hasn't happened since I was eight! I mean, aren't kids supposed to outgrow this type of thing? What the heck is going on? Why was this happening again?
"Okay, Riley," I told myself, "Calm it down a notch. This is probably just a one-time thing. Just a one-time thing! Don't let it get to you. Now let's move, go go go." I forced myself to peel my body away from the soaked bedsheets and pajamas. I bundled them up in my arms to take down to the laundry. I glanced at the clock to see if I could sneak it into the washing machine before anyone woke up. I was mortified to see that it was seven o'clock sharp, just around the time that--
"Lee, time to get your ass up!" Carter pounded on my door quickly and then opened it.
I had no time to do anything but stare at him in shock. I was caught red (or in this case, yellow) handed and there was no way to explain myself. "H-hey Carter..." I managed to get out, my face burning with embarrassment. I could already feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes; I was that humiliated.
"Lee, what... what the hell happened?" He immediately rushed up to inspect my stained sheets. "Did you wet the bed again?" he asked quietly, looking at me with such a pitiful expression that it made me want to crawl into a hole and die.
I softly nodded my head and, just like that, the tears started to spill. "I'm sorry, Carter. I don't know what happened..." I started to cry a little harder, because let's face it, wetting the bed at age thirteen was simply pathetic and downright embarrassing. And to have my big brother witness this once again made it even worse. "Please don't tell Mom and Dad..." I whispered.
He immediately pulled me into a hug, placing his head over mine. "Hey, hey," Carter said soothingly, "It's alright, it's alright. You can't help it! And it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay?"
I shook my head against his chest. "Yes, it is... I'm already a teenager and here I am wetting the bed like... like some ridiculous baby who needs freaking potty-training!" By this time, I was more angry at myself than embarrassed.
Carter continued to gently rub my back in slow circles. "Actually, you're still only thirteen--"
"That still counts as a teenager!" I interrupted
He chuckled, "Right. But my point is that you're still young and you'll definitely grow out of this soon. So just don't let it get to you, alright? If you want, you can come sleep in my bed like when you were little. Remember? That always put a stop to your rampant bladder."
"My bladder IS pretty rampant," I giggled. "But... you'd really let me sleep with you?"
He grinned, "Of course, dude. That's what brothers are for! Just.... please, PLEASE try not to piss on me."
"Like that's ever happened before!" I yelled indignantly.
"Yeah, well... you never know," he laughed, and then playfully elbowed me. "Now, c'mon and get dressed. I'll go sneak these in the wash while Mom's busy cooking breakfast."
"Alright," I smiled, "Thanks, Carter..." He ruffled my hair and then left with my wet sheets.
I realized at that moment that I was really lucky to have a big brother like Carter. Any other would probably have teased me mercilessly for my... problem, but as always, he was just the best brother a guy could ask for. I really should go more easy on him when it came to Aaron. I mean, he deserves that much. Besides, he was probably just concerned about me. Maybe he thought Aaron was too rough for me. I found myself smiling at the thought; I guess having a slightly over-protective brother had its perks.
I stripped off my soiled clothes and stuffed them deep in my hamper; I'd make sure to get to them later. I jumped into my shower and tried to cleanse myself of the smell of urine, paying special attention to my groin area. I'm not gonna lie; I started to get hard down there when my mind started to drift off to Aaron. Sadly, I had to quickly shake those thoughts from my head since I was kind of in a hurry.
Note to self: wake up earlier.
I got out of the shower and went to my room. As I was drying my hair, I looked through my clothes for what to wear. I pulled out each and every article of clothing I had, until my room was completely covered with shirts and jeans and shorts of every kind. No matter what I tried on, it just didn't seem good enough for Aaron. I knew it took me a long time to get ready in the mornings, but I just couldn't choose.
I heard Mom yelling up the stairs that I was going to be late, so I decided to just shut my eyes and grab the first things I lay my hands on. I opened my eyes and found that it actually wasn't a bad choice: black jeans that were just a little too tight and a white t-shirt with musical notes on it. Finally putting that issue to rest, I grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs.
It was too late for breakfast, so I grabbed some toast, kissed Mom on the cheek, said goodbye to an unresponsive Dad, and darted through the door. Carter was already in his truck, tapping on the steering wheel rather impatiently. I jumped in the truck and wasn't even done closing the door when he peeled off of the driveway.
"Jesus, Lee, what the hell took you so long?" Carter was fuming, rotating between looking at the radio clock and giving me pissed off looks.
"I'm sorry! I couldn't figure out what to wear!" I said defensively. I felt bad about making him mad after what he did for me this morning, but it wasn't my fault that my clothes decided to pick on me today!
"You wasted all that time and picked that shirt?" he scoffed, "You look like a fag." Immediately after he said that, all I could feel was this awful pain in my chest. I can't remember him saying anything like that to me. I mean, yeah, I've heard him say that around his football buddies, but never to me. And I know he didn't mean it the way I was taking it, but just that word was enough to make me want to throw up. I felt uneasy around Carter at the moment, something I never was when I was with him.
I didn't even know how to respond to that, so I didn't. I looked out the window, willing the stupid truck to move faster, while also willing my eyes to not let out the torrent of tears threatening to fall. I didn't realize I was clenching my fists so tight until I felt the pain of my nails digging into my palms. We were almost at the school, and I think Carter noticed I was mad at him because he decided to finally break the tension in the car.
He drummed his fingertips against the steering wheel, sighed, and said, "Look, Lee, I'm sorry for yelling at you awhile ago, okay?" I didn't respond, which he took as a sign to continue. "I just don't like to be late for morning warm-ups, especially since I'm quarterback of the team, now. I mean, I gotta keep up appearances, you know what I'm saying?" I didn't say anything, hoping that maybe he'd also apologize for what he called me earlier; but when he didn't continue, the anger came back in full force.
We finally pulled up in front of the school building. "So... we're cool, right?" he asked. To answer his question, I jumped out of the truck and slammed the door shut as hard as I could. I ignored him calling out my name and continued to stomp up the stairway, past the staring students, and into the hallway. Before I knew it, I was digging through my locker aggressively with an amused Isabella beside me.
"Yikes. What's got you all fired up this morning?" she asked playfully.
I turned and glared at her. "Not in the mood, Bella." She immediately winced.
"Sorry, sorry. What's the problem?"
"It's Carter. He was a total jerk this morning when he dropped me off. During the ride, he called me a f--" I shut my mouth so fast I accidentally bit my lip in the process, surely drawing blood. I couldn't believe I almost gave myself away like that.
Isabella gave me a look... THAT look. That very fear-inducing look. "Called you a...?" She waited for me to continue. But something about the way those blue eyes shone with just a hint of amusement turned my blood cold. It was like she knew just what made me so mad. Like she knew what my deepest, darkest secret was, and was just waiting for me to give myself away.
She was still looking at me with that smirk of hers. "Nothing. I-it was nothing." I nervously pushed my glasses up with my forefinger. "Um, anyways, did you get those permission forms signed for Mr. Samson's class?"
She squinted her eyes at me suspiciously, obviously knowing that I'd changed the subject, but thankfully she went along with it. "Yeup. Samson is totally cool, I already know I'm gonna love his class."
"Ditto!" I said, a painfully fake grin plastered on my face. Isabella returned a grin right back. This encounter was really starting to make me nervous. I mean, it was obvious she knew something. So should I just tell her about me? About Aaron? But what if she didn't know? And what if I gave myself away and made the biggest mistake of my life? I was so overcome with worry, I hadn't noticed that I was visibly shaking.
Isabella gave me a worried look. "Hey, are you alright?" When I didn't respond, she stepped towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders. "Riley! Dude, quit your worrying already!"
I felt myself involuntarily stop at those words. "Worrying? What do you think... I'm worrying about?" I asked hesitantly. I bit my lip, probably drawing out even more blood.
She sighed and pulled me into a hug. I was surprised at the gesture but immediately returned the embrace. "You know what I'm talking about," she said. "I love you. You're like a brother to me. You're the only real friend I've ever had... Well, aside from Ethan, but he's kind of being an asshole right now. Anyway, do you really think I would judge you just for who you love?"
I couldn't help myself, but her affirming my suspicions just added to the terror I was already feeling. It was mortifying, bombarding myself with all these questions and thoughts that were popping up in my head. First and foremost being: HOW?!
"W-.. when.. But-- How?" I stuttered.
She laughed loudly; loud enough to shock me back into the reality that we were at school, and that someone could've easily overheard everything we'd said. But when I looked around, I was surprised to see the hallways totally deserted. She cupped my cheek with her hand, "They've been long gone. I guess you were still kind of zonked out and didn't hear the final bell rang. As to your question..." She let out a dramatic sigh. "I've known since almost the beginning of sixth grade."
I stared at her in shock, my mouth hanging cartoonishly open. "SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE?" I yelled. I didn't care that we were at school. I needed some answers. "How the hell have you known since the sixth grade?"
Her eyes were open wide, clearly shocked at my outburst. "Um, wow. Uh... hmm.... How did I know...." She playfully looked at the ceiling in thought, but quickly became serious when she noticed the glare I was giving her. "Oh, right! I remember. We were at recess, and that kid... Brandon? Or was it Jordan... Whatever, I think he moved already, so it doesn't matter. Anyway; he was humping the tether-ball pole, and one of his friends came up behind him and started humping BrandonJordanWhatever. I remember laughing because they were SO secretly enjoying; and when I turned to tell you about it, you were already staring. You had the most adorable blush on your face, and I'm not gonna lie, I saw you uh... adjust some things down there. I never told you about it 'cause I thought you'd come and tell me when you were ready. But you've just been so uneasy lately, I just felt that you needed to know that I have absolutely no problem with it."
The only thing I could remember feeling was a huge rush of heat rising up to my cheeks; because I did remember that day. And the fact that I wasn't as subtle about... things... as I thought was downright humiliating. I looked up and it was obvious Isabella was waiting for a response.
"Um..." I said, my voice cracking. I cleared my throat. "Um, that's... cool? Thanks for... you know... not making a big deal out of it."
She chuckled and nodded her head. "See, that wasn't so bad, right? Now, imagine how good it would feel if you came out to the whole sch--"
"NO!" I yelled. I grabbed onto the sides of her arms and stared straight up at her. "No! No! No one else can know, alright? NO ONE. Do you understand?"
She gave me a perplexed look, obviously not understanding the panicked message I was trying to send across. "What.... I mean, what's the problem? Central Valley is obviously accepting. I mean, their GSA is HUGE! Sure, there's gonna be some assholes here and there, but there's always gonna--"
I cut her off, shaking my head furiously. "You don't get it... If any other person found out, it'd get to Carter and Carter would tell my parents and... my dad. You don't know how badly he'd react. He'd be furious. He'd DISOWN me! He's crazy religious, and—and I don't know what he'd do. So PLEASE don't say anything! Only you and Aaron know, and--"
"Whoa, whoa, hold the fuck up," she interrupted, startling me with her bluntness. "How does Aaron know? You told him before ME!? I thought... I thought I was your best friend? How could you tell someone else before me? Huh?!"
I looked up at her in confusion, wondering why she was so angry that Aaron was the first to know. I mean, he was my boyfriend for crying out loud. Why would she be mad about.... Whoops.
"Oh, crap," I muttered. " I never told you!"
"Tell me what?" she demanded, still very much furious.
"Me and Aaron are--"
"What are you kids doing out of class?" A man called to us from across the hall. I saw the gleam of sunlight bouncing off of his bald head before I actually saw the man himself. I gulped; the words 'Vice-Principal' were etched onto his name tag.
I looked at Isabella in a panic but she was still looking at me intensely. "We're not done talking about this..." she muttered. Immediately after, she turned around and wailed, "Oh, Mr. Walters! I'm so glad you're here! I was on my way to the bathroom when I found this kid all bloodied up! Would you show us to the nurse's office?" I'd almost forgotten about my busted lip if she hadn't brought it up.
I looked up at the assistant principal and my mind instantly flashed back to what Carter had once told me before. With my newly-acquired knowledge, I dramatically took a step forward while leaning on the lockers for effect. I noticed Mr. Walters take a step backwards, reaffirming my hunch. I took two more steps closer to him and coughed, making sure to splatter some blood in his direction. "Mr. Walters, I think I really need to go to the nurse," I groaned.
"Oh my god," he muttered, clutching his mouth in horror. "You, girl, take him to the nurse! He's getting b-blood everywhere! I'll go get a janitor." And with that, he (more or less) took off running in the opposite direction. Isabella glanced at me and I shot her a wicked grin.
"What the hell just happened?" she asked, staring at me with a mixture of shock and wonder.
I giggled. "Carter told me once that the vice principal here has a huge phobia of blood. Never knew that information would come in handy."
She laughed, shaking her head. "You're an evil genius. I love it. Well, you'd better get to class before Walters gets back." I nodded and turned to leave before she grabbed my arm. "Don't think I'm still not pissed about you telling Aaron before me, though."
I glanced back at her, and I could really tell how bad this was affecting her. She looked really distraught that I'd trust someone else with my secrets before her after years of us being friends. I was contemplative whether now would be the best time to tell her, but I guess I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't want her to worry and have her anger fester throughout the day.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you." I looked around to make sure Walters, or any other person for that matter, was around before leaning in and whispering, "He's... my boyfriend."
"What?" she hissed, "B-boyfriend? H-how..."
I looked past her, and sure enough, the ray of light reflecting off of Mr. Walter's head signaled his return. "Look, I'll catch you up on this later, but we've gotta go, Walters is coming."
Isabella reluctantly nodded and said a quick, "You'd better," before turning down the hallway to her class.
"Don't you need a pass?" I called out. She waved me off, making me chuckle; she's always been a very convincing person, I'm sure she'd find a way to talk her way out of it. As for me, I decided to play it safe and just go and see the nurse. I wouldn't be able to lie my way out if my life depended on it.
When I came to see the nurse, she was naturally horrified by my bloody features. She probably thought a group of thugs beat me up or something, but after cleaning me up a bit she saw that it was only my busted lip. She gave me some ice to put on it; and after a few minutes of that, I was good to go. She signed me a pass, warning me to watch where I was going next time (I told her I ran into a wall.... I don't do well under questioning, alright?), and I was on my way to Ms. Higgins's class.
I walked into class and naturally all of the students turned to look up at the door in unison. I awkwardly glanced around the room and spotted Aaron sitting in the back of the room. Seeing him immediately calmed down my nerves. I gave Ms. Higgins my pass, which she more or less snatched out of my hand, and told me to get to my seat and join the class in reading out of the literature textbook. I tried ignoring the 'ooh, what happened to that kid' looks I was getting from some of the students as I made my way to the seat next to Aaron.
"Hey, sexy," he whispered, grinning the very-Aaron grin that I don't think I could ever get tired looking at.
"Hi," I giggled, while also nervously looking around to see if anyone was listening. Thankfully mostly everyone was busy reading, aside from the few students who were already fast asleep.
"What happened to your lip?" he asked, a slightly worried expression on his face.
He brought his hand up to touch my lip, making me flinch and immediately pull back. "D-don't touch me like that at school!" I said in a hushed tone. I quickly glanced at the students around us and was relieved when the uprising I was expecting didn't arrive.
"What's the big deal? We're boyf—"
"Blaaaaaaah!"
He gave me an odd look. "Ry, dude, what's the problem?"
I gave him a look of my own. "I think it's kind of obvious what my problem is! You can't just... you know, be all touchy like that! What will other people say?"
He shrugged. "Who gives a shit what they say? It's none of their business. And if anyone messes with you, you'd better believe I'll beat them up."
I groaned. "That's not what I'm talking about.... No one can know because I don't WANT them to know!"
"Why wouldn't you want them to know?" he asked, hurt written all over his face. "What-- am I supposed to be your secret boyfriend or something?"
"No, of course not! I.... Look, if my family were to find out.... If my DAD were to find out, I don't know what would happen. So excuse me for being a bit hesitant to flaunt my homosexuality for the world to see, alright? Not all of us have it as easy as you." That last part came out a bit harsher than I intended, but I really needed to get that message across to Aaron no matter what. Under no circumstances whatsoever could my family find out.
I genuinely thought that he would just accept what I was saying with his usual dismissive grin and playful shrug. I could not have been more wrong. To my surprise, he reacted completely opposite of what I was expecting.
He scoffed and then proceeded to roll his eyes. "Do you honestly think you're the only one who's had to deal with that problem?"
"What are you talking about?"
"This whole family charade," he said a little angrily, yet still managed to keep his voice to a whisper. "You think I don't know what that feels like? I came out to my parents when I was twelve. Twelve. And you want to know why?" I nodded; my attention completely on him, clinging to his every word. "Because I couldn't stop talking about this cute boy I saw on my first day of middle school." I blushed at his words, but he just continued. "Granted, I was still a little loopy from that fight with your brother, but they heard me and ... that's not exactly something I could just take back. So, they sent me to the first Christian private school they could find. And those three years have been hell. But I did my best to not only change their minds, but to accept myself as well. I never thought it would happen, but it did. My parents actually accepted me and the silly fairytale boy of my dreams. But the most important part of all this is that I finally got to really meet you and fall even deeper in love with you... So excuse me for wanting to touch you, or God forbid, tell you how I feel!"
I just stared at him in what was probably a look of absolute astonishment. I honestly didn't know what to say and the long silence that followed vouched for that. But my mind, on the other hand, was going through a rapid-fire process of sorting out the thoughts and feelings running through my head. Initially, I was surprised at how passionate and animated he was when relaying that part of his life to me. After that shock wore off and I actually began to process what he just said, the only thing I could think of was just how deeply his feelings for me were rooted.
All this time, I thought that I was the one foolishly in love, letting my heart lead me in any direction it chose to go; while it was actually my feelings that paled in comparison to his. Sure, I'd thought about Aaron every once in a while and wondered where he was and how he was doing, but I sure as heck didn't have my whole LIFE turned around because of it. I didn't have every piece of reality I was so comfortable with shatter into a million pieces all because of a crush on some boy. I didn't uproot my whole life just on the off chance that maybe some day me and some school crush of mine could finally be together some day. I had no IDEA what he'd been through, and here I was judging him because I felt I was the only one even remotely capable of understanding the pain and confusion I was dealing with. But in fact, it was me who didn't understand anything. I truly, truly didn't understand as much about Aaron as I thought I did. And in that moment of sudden realization, I was sure of three things: 1. I was being childishly selfish, 2. I didn't deserve him, and (most importantly) 3. I loved him.
In the time I took to sort out my thoughts, the bell decided to cut my thinking time short. Before I'd realized that I had yet to respond to Aaron's heart-warming/wrenching confession, he was already getting up to leave. He rolled his eyes with a sigh, grabbed his stuff, and marched out the classroom before I had a chance to stop him.
"Shit..." I muttered to myself, while I tried to hurriedly stuff my things into my bag.
"Mr. Monroe, I do believe that type of language requires your presence at a toilet and not in my classroom."
I'd completely forgotten about Ms. Higgins, who was sitting at her desk giving me a not-so-pleasant glare. I was horribly embarrassed that she'd heard what I said.
"Terribly sorry, Ms. Higgins. I'll be... uh, on my way now," I said nervously, trying to discreetly power walk to the hallway. She didn't reply, and instead looked at me disdainfully the whole time I made my way out the door. I guess my good first impression on her from yesterday was pretty much ruined.
I didn't dwell too much on that, though. I was too worried that Aaron was mad at me for inadvertently ignoring him. And worse, I was worried about what I could possibly say to something as personal as his confession was. Maybe, "thanks...?" God, no, no, no. He'd hate me if I said something as inconsiderate as that. Although, he probably believed I already was inconsiderate based on how I treated him awhile ago.
After finally making it to my locker, I opened my locker (in a very impressive amount of time, if I may add) and switched out for what I'd need in geometry. I was about to slam the locker shut and run off to class, when a hand held the locker door in place.
I could instantly tell from the electric-blue painted nails that it was Isabella. "Finally," she said, "Now you can finally tell me all about--"
I glanced toward Mrs. Woodrift's door at the far end of the hall and managed to spot Aaron sulking into the classroom.
I gave Isabella a frantic look. "SorryIsabellait'sgonnahavetowaitthanksforunderstandingbye!" I said, and practically ran towards the geometry room.
When I arrived, my breath ragged from the run, I saw Mrs. Woodrift give me an odd look at first, but then smiled and shrugged. I glanced towards the back of the class, and thankfully, Aaron was still sitting in his seat. That relief was short-lived though, because the look on his face was just heart-breaking.
His arms were folded on top of each other with his head placed lazily on top of them. He was staring at his desk with sad eyes and his mouth in a mix between a frown and a pout. In any other circumstance, I would've found the sight downright adorable, but this was obviously not the time for that. I quickly strode towards the desk next to his, sat down, and faced him. I waited for him to turn to look at me, but there was no response. If anything, he looked annoyed at my sudden presence.
I didn't know where or how to start, but I figured I had to at least begin somewhere. "Look, Aaron," I said, "I'm really, really sorry about how I acted before...." Actually, that was a pretty good start to the conversation. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.
I was expecting him to smile at the apology and we would instantly go back to normal, so I was more than a little surprised when I got was a roll of the eyes from him. "Whatever," he muttered.
"Whatever?" I said, astonished. That was probably the rudest he'd ever been to me (excluding our previous sixth grade history where he bashed my brother's head in). But I guess I did deserve that, so I persevered further.
I gave him a sad smile. "I know you're mad, but please just hear me out. You really got the wrong idea. You see, I didn't mean to--"
"Really," he said firmly, "It's not a big deal. Let's just forget it."
"Well, judging by your completely childish attitude right now, it obviously IS a big deal, so I'd appreciate it if you just hear me out." I said a little irritatedly.
What I said really must have made him mad, because the next thing I knew, those beautiful milky-brown eyes of his were giving me the hardest glare I'd ever seen from him. "Just forget it!"
I sighed, "Please, you don't understand., I--"
"I told you--"
"Just hear me out--"
"I said I don't want to hear it!"
"Just please listen--"
"No, you listen--"
"I want to clear things up--"
"There's nothing to clear--"
"Obviously, there is--"
"No, there isn't!"
"Would you quit interrupting me?"
"I told you to just leave it alone!" he shouted.
And with that said, I just couldn't take it anymore.
"DAMN IT, AARON SUMMERS. YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME, AND YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN GOOD. I'M TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE, AND THAT I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR WHAT YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH BECAUSE OF ME, AND I KNOW NOW THAT YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME TOO, AND THAT I WAS SELFISH, AND THAT I JUST FREAKING LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, ALRIGHT?" I was breathing incredibly hard by the time I was done screaming, and it was only till I saw Aaron's slack-jawed, wide-eyed, terrified expression that I realized what I had just done.
"Wow...." Aaron whispered, his face filled with awe-struck wonder.
"Oh, my god," I muttered. I covered my mouth with both my hands and shut my eyes. I tried to convince myself that that did not just happen, but the painful silence that ensued only confirmed my fears. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to--" And suddenly there was hysterical laughter coming from Mrs. Woodrift at the front of the classroom.
I turned around and was horrified that she had seen our whole encounter without me realizing that she was even there. Her back was against the classroom door, and she was trying to catch her breath but always ended up in fits of laughter right after. I looked at Aaron and he looked at me, and we both just turned and waited until Mrs. Woodrift would stop laughing.
After what seemed like hours, but was probably just a minute or so, she finally caught her breath and gave us a peculiar smile. "Sorry about that," and she laughed some more, but managed to regain her composure quickly. "Truly, I'm sorry, but that was just... hysterical. Actually, lover's spats almost always are." I blushed when she used the term 'lover,' but kept my silence.
"So, you don't mind us being... you know, a couple?" Aaron asked.
She scoffed, "Why would I mind? This school is very open-minded, and we enforce a no bullying policy among our students here. If you guys are worried about facing trouble with the other kids, I'm positive that nothing will come of it."
Aaron turned and raised his eyebrows at me in an 'I told you so' fashion. I stuck my tongue out at him, but I still couldn't help but feel relieved that he didn't seem to be mad at me anymore.
"But if you're not ready for that yet, don't worry," she continued, "I locked the door so that you guys could have your privacy." It was then that I realized that she did in fact lock the door, as there were no other kids in the class.
I felt embarrassed that we, mainly I, couldn't control our personal conflicts at a school setting. "I'm really sorry about cutting into class time, Mrs. Woodrift. And thank you, for you know, letting us talk it out in private. We're still new to this whole relationship thing, so... yeah..." I said, nervously looking down at my shoes. I felt Aaron's hand wrap around mind. I looked up and was met with a reassuring smile. I couldn't help but blush at the new-found heat around my hand, knowing that it was Aaron's.
"You guys are just precious," she chuckled, before then snapping up in sudden realization. "Oops. The kids are still out there, aren't they?" We both nodded our heads. "Alright, well, I'll get class started. You two just... act like you weren't just confessing your love to each other." She laughed as we both rolled our eyes. But we did as she said, and tried our best to look inconspicuous.
When the others walked in, the silence of the classroom was immediately replaced with the chatter of excited kids still getting used to the new school year. Thankfully, they didn't seem too bothered with having to wait in the hall, probably using that time to socialize. None of them even seemed to notice that me and Aaron were the only ones in class, for which I was very relieved. I was also thankful that our mini-fight seemed to be over now, as I saw Aaron give me his usual grins throughout the class.
When the bell rang I followed him out the door, still a little unsure whether things were alright between us. We both ended up in front of the row of lockers while students rushed past us to their next classes. I looked up at him, trying to see if he was still angry or not, but he looked normal, even happy. Still, I wanted to make sure.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry about awhile ago. I hope you're not too mad"
He quickly cut in, "Of course not! I just feel really stupid for jumping to conclusions like that awhile ago. So if anyone should be sorry, it's me."
"No, you shouldn't be! It's-- You know what... let's just forget about the whole thing, huh?"
"Deal," he laughed, "but I don't think I could ever forget you blowing up like that." He then leaned in to whisper in my ear. "It was like the perfect combination of sexy and terrifying."
I felt myself shiver at his words, but quickly regained my composure enough to softly shove him away. "Whatever," I grumbled.
He giggled and then headed off to his next class. "I'll see you at lunch!" He waved and I waved back.
I was elated all the way up till my Japanese class, where things took a turn for the not-so-great. As I walked through the door to class, I accidentally bumped into someone who was picking up something from the floor (In my defense, I was still a little ditsy from my encounter with Aaron).
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" I said, after basically knocking the poor kid down.
"Jesus, you walk much?" the boy muttered while getting up and rubbing the hip he landed on.
I was a little peeved at his rudeness, but I couldn't think of anything else soon after that. When he stood up to face me, I was surprised to see none other than Mason Lancaster staring me in the face with an annoyed expression.
"Well?" Mason continued, "Are you gonna stare at me all day, or do I get an apology?"
I snapped out of my daze. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that," I said.
He just rolled his eyes and took his seat at the far end of the class, looking out the window.
As I sat down in my own seat, I was still trying to process my encounter with him. We'd never spoken up till this point, and he probably never knew I existed until now, but I sure knew about him. Heck, I think everyone in my grade knew about The Mason Lancaster. His blond hair, blue eyes, and good looks earned him an immediate following as far back as the sixth grade.
Actually, now that I think about it, Ethan kind of made it a point to try and befriend him recently, too. They did sit at the same lunch table yesterday, so I wonder if he ever succeeded.
I laughed to myself: I haven't spoken to Ethan for even a day and already I found myself missing him and the goofiness of our whole relationship. Still, the way he just blew me and Isabella off yesterday really hurt. Honestly, if he'd just apologize and laugh it off, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to move past it. But until then, I guess we aren't on speaking terms.
"Sumimasen!" I heard someone call out. "Excuse me!"
I snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh? Yeah?" I looked up to see my Japanese teacher giving me a stern look.
"You there, please pay attention. We are learning new kanji and you have not been copying it down like I asked."
"Gomenasai, Ms. Morihara," I apologized, in complete and utter embarrassment at getting caught daydreaming. I was looking down at my desk as I said this, but out of the corner of my eye, I could clearly see Mason smirking at me from across the room.
For someone who was supposed to be "every girl's dreamboat" (as Isabella jokingly referred him as), I didn't see how anyone could stand being around him. I was glad I didn't know anyone who hung around people like him.... Well, I guess maybe not Ethan anymore... but other than him, no one else I knew of associated with that jerk.
After that incident, I made it a point to pay attention for the rest of class to avoid any further... embarrassment. So you can imagine how thankful I was when the bell finally rang and we were dismissed for lunch. I packed up my things and made my way to the back of the group of students rushing to get out the door. When it was my turn to walk past, I almost ran into another kid who tried to walk through the door at the same time. I turned to apologize, until I saw it was...
"Well, hello again, Mr. Clumsy," he said, a Cheshire cat's grin on his face.
"That's not my name," I simply said, while giving him a glare of my own.
He shrugged. "Really? Could've fooled me."
"Yes, really," I said, "It's Riley. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to lunch." I tried to walk past him until he suddenly placed a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in place.
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Your name's Riley? Riley Monroe?"
I gave him a cautious look. "Um, yeah...? Why?"
His face lit up and his smirk evolved into a grin. "Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events."
He was really starting to confuse me now. "Okay, well, you're getting weirder by the second, so... I'm just gonna go now." I gave him a hesitant wave and finally walked past the door.
"Alright!" he called out, "see you in a bit!"
I almost turned around to ask him what he meant, but, well, I really could care less because I still had to face the task of dealing with a furious Isabella and also protect Aaron from the barrage of questions that she'll surely be throwing his way.
Before I realized it, my feet had taken me to the front doors of the cafeteria where pure chaos was pretty much just looming around waiting to be dealt with. I exhaled, took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and forced myself through those doors. With every step towards our lunch table, I braced myself for the wild Isabella to pounce.
When I finally made my way to the table, I was shocked to find both Isabella and Aaron sitting across one another. But that wasn't the shocking part. It actually looked like... like they were having a normal conversation. Aaron looked like he was entranced with his own story, while Isabella was nodding and smiling as he spoke. I didn't know how I was supposed to appear without interrupting this preciously rare moment, so I did my best to discreetly take my seat beside Aaron.
Yeah... that didn't work out so well.
"Well, look who decided to finally drop by!" Isabella greeted, looking especially happy to see me.
"Hey, you," Aaron whispered, a soft smile on his face.
"Um, hi," I said, looking back and forth between them. "What's up?"
"Well," Isabella started, "let me be the first to say: congratulations. I'm seriously happy for you, really. And your booooyfrieeeend (she drawled the word out unnecessarily long) over here got you out of explaining yourself, so you're good to go."
I gave Aaron a startled look. "You told her about us?" I whispered.
His expression turned slightly panicked. "Um, yeah, I did, but I totally left out all of the personal stuff. Really, all I talked about was just us telling each other how we, uh, felt about each other at your house the other day. Was that... alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's fine," I nodded. "I just didn't want her to know about any of our... private matters."
"I wouldn't care if you guys fucked on the first date," Isabella added. I looked at her in complete shock and horror. "Seriously," she continued, "no judgment here!"
"WE DID NOT--" I had to remind myself of where we were, and brought my voice to a harsh whisper. "We did NOT have... sex... on our first date together! And I'll have you know that it wasn't even a date. All we did was just hang out at my house, that's all!"
She gave me an unbelieving smirk. "Mhm."
"I'm serious!" I protested. I turned to Aaron and glared at him. "Tell her we didn't do anything!"
He looked startled with the sudden spotlight being turned on him. "Um, uh, yeah, we didn't do anything, really."
"See!" I said, very much satisfied at proving her wrong.
"So you guys seriously expect me to believe that you two didn't do aaaanything?" she asked with a superior grin on her face.
The pointed look she was giving me made it a little hard to speak. "Of-- of course not!" I said.
"Really?" She tilted her head and gave me an amused look. "Because it's kind of hard to believe you with all the blushing going on."
I immediately brought my hands to my cheeks. "I-I'm not blushing!" I turned to Aaron. "Am I blushing?" He tried his best to suppress a grin, but I could see through it. I growled, "I am NOT--"
"Hey, Butterfingers. What's all the fuss about?" I turned around and was startled to see Mason taking a seat beside Aaron. "Hey, buddy," he said to Aaron.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Isabella asked. I don't really know why, but ever since we've been friends, she's always had this... distaste whenever Mason was involved; whether it be encountering girls gossiping about him or just seeing him in the hallway. She always brushed it off as nothing when I asked her about it, but it was obvious something went down between them once upon a time.
Mason gave her a side glance. "Oh, hello."
Isabella looked outraged at his indifferent greeting. Thankfully, Aaron decided to step in. "H-hey, Mase. What's going on?"
He shrugged, "Nothing much. I just didn't feel like putting up with all those annoying girls at my table. I also wanted to hang out with you and your little boy toy today."
It took me a second to process his words, until I realized that 1. Him and Aaron apparently knew each other (and were pretty close from what I could tell), 2. HE KNOWS ABOUT ME AND AARON, and, oh yeah, 3. HE KNOWS ABOUT ME AND AARON.
Aaron looked at me and nervously laughed. "Mason, stop messing around, dude."
Mason gave Aaron a perplexed look. "Okay, uh, were you just kidding then? Because last night on the phone, you said you totally just hooked up with Ham-hands, here."
I darted my gaze towards Aaron, hoping to whatever God above that this was all a big joke, but the sheer panic on Aaron's face completely gave him away and confirmed my fears at the same time.
My inner psyche pretty much collapsed on the spot, and I found it just a little hard to breathe at the turn of events. Aaron basically just told some guy, Mason Lancaster, about us just a DAY after we got together. Actually, not even a day; that very same NIGHT! I mean, Mason is one of, if not the, most popular boy in our grade. He has tons of friends, is welcomed in every social circle at school, and can basically ruin my whole life with just a slip of his tongue.
I was seriously panicking, and the look of concern on Aaron's face was an indicator that I was not doing a good job of hiding it. But I wasn't worried about that at the moment, not at all. I was still trying to cope with the paranoia filling my mind with each passing second, and it got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I abruptly got up, startling my three companions, and headed to the bathroom. I needed some time to think, and more than that, I was feeling nauseous.
I walked at a brisk pace towards the nearest restroom (It took every once of strength I had not to break out into a run). When I finally reached the bathroom, I was relieved to find it empty. I rushed into a stall, locked the door, and proceeded to vomit. All I had for breakfast was toast, so it was mostly dry heaving, but even that left me in tears. And soon, it wasn't just the throwing up that was bringing tears to my eyes. The inevitable outcome of me and Aaron's relationship spreading started bringing sobs strong enough to wrack my whole body.
The future played out in front of my eyes as if it were a film: some ditsy girl telling Carter, Carter telling Mom and Dad, Dad becoming enraged enough to throw me out, Mom and Dad fighting which results in their divorce, me and Carter surely being split apart with each of them. I started to cry even harder. And that's when I heard a soft knock on the door.
"Riley?" It was Aaron's voice.
I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my arm. "I can't believe you told him." My throat was unbelievably sore.
"C'mon, Riley, it's not a big deal. Mason's my best friend, and, and I wouldn't tell him if I wasn't absolutely sure that he was trustworthy. I wouldn't have--"
"I can't do this anymore," I managed to rasp out through tears.
"What?" he asked.
"This stupid relationship or... whatever it is-- whatever it WAS. I can't do it, I'm sorry..."
"What're you saying?" he said. There was an unmistakable crack in his voice.
"I'm saying... it's over."
Well....... there ya go. o_o
Um.... comments? lol.
Anyways, fun fact: Ms. Higgins's name is inspired by none other than Missy Higgins. Anybody else a fan of her music? :)
Another fun fact: I took 5 years of Japanese in middle and high school, so of course I had to incorporate that in the chapter somehow :P