Life in Suspension

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gay/highschool/jacobs-advocate gay/highschool/life-in-suspension

Life in Suspension Chapter 5 - Fight

"Good morning," Jess greeted me as I ambled up the steps in front of the school as I did every morning.

"Yeah, morning," I said quickly as she fell into step beside me.

"So. How're things." She asked coyly trying to get a rise out of me.

"If you have a real question to ask Jess, just spill it," I said not taking the bait.

"My someone is touchy today. What's the matter, didn't make it to first base?"

"Seriously? We're using sports analogies now?" I huffed.

"Hey Nathan," Max Caster said in greeting as he walked by, I returned the greeting and Jess gave a casual glance over her shoulder.

"Damn, you do get around. Hitting up the basketball players now are we?" Jess ribbed as we made our way through the halls toward my locker.

"Calm down girl, I only met him the other day. Corey took me to the park and we played a pickup game," I explained.

"You? In a pickup game? My, my, someone is rubbing off on you," She said jovially as she twirled a lock of hair on her finger, "I'm not complaining, by any means. So first base?"

"Uh, more like a home run," I said sheepishly.

"No! Already!? I knew it!" Jess exclaimed with excitement. "Oh, I'm so happy for you! Wait with Max or Corey?" She asked with a frown.

"Corey, I'm not a total slut," I said as we reached my locker and I fumbled with the combination. "It was, uhm, nice."

"What was nice?" Corey asked as he appeared out of thin air, causing me to drop the binders and notebooks I was pulling out.

"Lughead, you've got to stop doing that," I said, squatting down to pick up the items I dropped.

"Oh sorry," He replied with a small blush. "What was nice?"

"Whatever you two did the other night apparently," Jess commented as she leaned against the bank of lockers.

"It was nice," Corey replied with no sense of shame whatsoever.

"Damn, you two got it bad."

"Jess..." I started

She held up her hands, "Hey I'm being supportive, and I'm happy for you. For you both," She said glancing at both me and Corey. "And if anyone gives you any grief--"

"I'll knock them flat," Corey finished.

"I knew I liked you for some reason," Jess quipped. "Alright love birds, I'll see you at lunch. Try not to hit anyone without me," She said with a wave as she disappeared into the crowds.

"I like her," Corey commented as he watched her walk away. "I like you more though," He said, returning his gaze to me.

"Ditto, lughead. Ditto," I said slamming my locker shut.

We started walking toward my first-period class.

"Isn't your first class across on the other side of the building?" I asked.

"Yep."

"Don't you think you should start heading in that direction?"

"Nope."

I didn't fight it, I wanted his company anyway. We separated as we reached my first-period class, and I felt relieved now that Jess knew, and approved, since she had this overprotective streak when it came to me, not that I needed it.

Max Caster was in two of my AP classes that I had back to back during the first and second periods, and I could tell that he was going to be an unknown element moving forward due to that message he sent that I still hadn't responded to. I actually felt guilty for not giving him a reply, and I could tell that it was bothering him as I sat down at my desk for the first period. Towards the end of class, during free time, before the bell rang I tapped out a quick reply anyway, hopefully ending some of the awkwardness.

natesfate_1022: sorry, got busy last night at home and didn't see this till it was late. I guess we can at some point if you want.

My phone vibrated as another message chimed in as I was replying to Max, and I read it as soon as it was done.

therealCIA93_: hey jackson hunter is back in school and he's pissed at you, watch yer back pls.

natesfate_1022: ugh figures, thanks for the heads up lug-head.

therealCIA93_: you bet! <3

I stared at the heart for a moment and smiled at it. My phone vibrated again in quick succession,

castermax15: hey no worries! you seem cool and I just wanna get to know you better.

castermax15: and why are you smiling like an idiot? It's not like we're going on a date ;)

natesfate_1022: haha, no my friend Jess sent me something funny is all.

castermax15: that scary chick you hang out with?

natesfate_1022: she's not scary, it's all an act.

Almost as if Jess heard me talking about her, a message buzzed from her. It was a meme of a crucifix-shaped dildo that said, `When you feel a little empty in the soul, try a little Jesus in your hole.'

natesfate_1022: JESS YOUR GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jessica_bartlett321: hahahahahaha.

I sent the message to both Corey and Max.

castermax15: jesus saves eh?

therealCIA93_: don't give me ideas.

I locked my phone and put it away as the bell rang. My next class wasn't far and since I already had what I needed for it I headed there straight away. This was the class change I usually didn't see Corey due to our conflicting schedules and the fact he was clear across the building. Max quickly caught up with me though as I made my way through the halls.

"Hey," Max said as he reached my side.

"Hey," I replied as I looked around for a certain individual.

"Everything okay?" He asked, noting my glancing looks.

"Jackson Hunter is still mad from an incident last week. I'm just making sure I avoid him," I replied honestly.

"Damn, when you make enemies you don't mess around do you?" Max replied.

"Nope."

"What happened between you and Corey? I saw the video, it looked like you were about to murder him but you guys seem like really good friends now."

I gave a small half smile, "Yeah we worked that out. We ended up in ISS for three days just the two of us."

"Too bad you can't do the same with Jackson Hunter."

"No shit."

We reached our next class, and it went by pretty quickly. I didn't see Jackson Hunter once throughout the day. As we got closer to lunch, I figured I probably wouldn't the rest of the day either if he knew what was good for him.

I was on my way to lunch when I saw Max again, I ducked inside one of the bathrooms to relieve myself and was washing my hands when he came in.

"Dude, Jackson Hunter is looking for you," He said as he approached, face full of worry. By now the room was empty as I finished drying my hands.

"No problem, I'll just get Jess and--"

The door flung open at that moment, and my luck had apparently run out. "Beat it, Caster," Jackson said as he and a couple of his cronies entered the small space.

I gave Max a look as he backed away making motions to the door.

"I almost got kicked off the team you little fuck-stick," Jackson spat as he pointed an accusing finger at me.

"Nobody told you to fuck with me that day dude," I said flatly as I backed up a little, the hair on my neck standing true.

"Yeah? Well, how about I beat your fucking face in since no one is here to save your scrawny little ass?" He menaced.

"Seriously? You get in trouble and almost kicked off the team, yet you're two remaining brain cells still think this shit is a good idea?" I said raising my arms in a defensive posture. My eyes flicked to the gold band of my smartwatch. My phone was in my bag which was out of reach. I licked my lips as the group advanced to my position.

Jackson rushed me, and I ducked and spun out of the way, clicking one of the buttons on my watch three times sending it into S.O.S mode. It flashed with an angry red icon as my phone responded and sent a series of text messages.

Hands grabbed me as I felt the watch pulse as an incoming call came in, I tapped it unable to see who the caller was, a voice crackled from the device, "Where are you?!"

"Bathroom main quad!" I yelled as I felt a fist slam into my stomach. The device was ripped from my wrist and sent scattering across the floor as Jackson grabbed me by the hair and yanked.

"Shut up fuck-stick, you're mine."

"Fuck you, you stupid piece of shit," I responded. I stomped on Jackson's foot as hard as I could and elbowed him in the stomach, which got him to let go of my hair.

His two cronies grabbed my shirt before I could spin away, causing it to rip. I felt an arm grip my chest and bit into the bare flesh before me. That only made them even more mad as I felt someone pick me up and slam me back towards the floor. I lashed out with my foot, and caught another in the head on my way down, as a punch to my ribs sent a shockwave of pain throughout my chest.

Rage grew in my chest as I fought against the hands that held me down, Jackson pinned my legs as he raised a fist back to strike me in the head.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," I seethed with anger that knew no limits, "with my bare fucking hands."

Jackson tried to follow through with that punch and I ducked aside, causing him to hit the tile floor instead.

The sound of the bathroom door flying open, and hitting the wall caused everything to pause as bodies flew into action and Jackson was ripped off me by an unseen force, I could hear Jess screaming at the others, I looked up to see Corey pulling Jackson into a headlock and forcing him to the ground as Jess kicked him in the groin with the sharp points of her knee high boots.

It didn't take long for the aggressors to totally wimp out, and hightail it out of there.

My head and other areas ached in pain as I rolled onto my side, adrenaline pumping through my body keeping my chest racing in its fight or flight response.

I coughed heavily as I tried to regain control of my breathing.

"Nathan," Corey called out, as he reached my side.

"Don't touch me," I said aloud. I curled myself up into a fetal position and stayed that way for a few moments.

"Nate?" I could hear the concern in Corey's voice.

"Get his stuff please," He said as I tried to stand up.

I took a step forward and almost fell over as my leg stumbled, Corey caught me.

"Nathan, don't move. I've got you okay?" He said gently. I felt his arm reach under my knees as I fell against him and soon he was carrying me just like that night on the lawn.

"Is he okay?" I heard the voice of Max ask in the hallway.

"No thanks to you," Jess huffed behind us.

I stayed quiet as we moved through the building, heading for the complex of offices that existed toward the main lobby. Corey didn't loosen his grip until we got to the office he wanted and gently sat me down on the long flat padded table inside the nurse's office.

"What happened?" The nurse called out as she entered the room.

"Jackson Hunter attacked him in the bathroom," Corey stated as he remained at my side.

"You can go, I've got him," The nurse stated as she started checking my injuries.

"No, I won't leave him."

My head pounded in pain, I brought my hands to hold either side as it ebbed and flowed inside my skull. I heard the nurse pick up a phone and dial the main office.

"I've got a kid in here who got beat up pretty bad, I'm going to need the resource officer in here please," She hung up the phone.

Corey stayed kneeling next to me, as the door flung open.

"What the fuck happened?" Chris shouted from the doorway, holding his phone, causing me to wince in pain.

"Jackson Hunter," Corey said flatly.

"Fucking Hunter? Where is the resource guy, I want to press fucking charges. Nathan, can you hear me, buddy?"

"Chris, not so loud please," I said to my brother as my ears rang. I held up a hand to get him to stop yelling. I felt sick to my stomach, "I think I'm going to throw up." I commented.

Chris looked at me then dialed a contact in his phone and stepped out of the office, "Dad you need to get up here."

The school resource officer was next through the door, although I could hear a very heated discussion between him and Chris before he actually walked through, I was sure he got the jist of what happened from Chris's anger alone.

All this noise, all these people talking and shouting was really starting to get to me. I bolted upright and barely made it to the trash can as I threw up what little had been in my stomach since breakfast. Thankfully, I hadn't had lunch yet or it would have been much worse.

I felt Corey's hand on my back rubbing it gently as I let loose a second time. When I was done I wiped my mouth with the tissue he provided then sat back on the bench. He sat next to me and I leaned into him not caring who saw. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and drew me close.

"Let me get a look at you again, Nathan," the nurse said as she checked my face. "Looks like you took a really bad hit to your cheek. Does your head hurt?"

"It all hurts," I replied flatly.

"I can feel a bump on the back of your head. Can you raise your shirt for me?" She asked as the resource officer stood in the doorway.

I did as requested and she winced at the bruises on my ribs and my stomach.

"Okay, just hang out here for a minute. Someone will be back to talk to you." The nurse said as she left with the resource officer.

"I should have been there," Corey commented after we were left alone.

"Don't Corey. You were there when it mattered most." I said.

"I was with Jess when she got the text. I called you."

"I figured as much," I said lightly.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, quite a bit actually."

"Okay, don't talk anymore then." Corey gave me the most loving yet gentle of squeezes and I followed his advice.

The school resource officer was not happy. He had warned Jackson Hunter about this the day of our last incident and now it looked like he was going to be expelled. My dad showed up not long after Chris's phone call, and we did end up pressing charges. Corey had managed to get my stuff and my watch from Jess, who had held onto it while waiting outside for news. She gave me a quick silent hug and I told her we'd talk later.

Corey wouldn't leave my side though. He called his mom and explained what happened, and told her under no certain terms he was ditching the rest of the day as my dad wanted me to go to the ER to make sure my head was still on right. Chris wanted to go as well, but our dad had managed to convince him to stay for the rest of the day, and I assured him I would be fine and I'd see him when he got home.

My dad didn't say anything about me and Corey, but I could tell he noticed the closeness that was so blatantly obvious especially since Corey didn't even try to hide it. In fact, the only time he left my side was during x-rays and the CT scan which he couldn't be a part of anyway. At some point I knew me and my dad would have that `conversation' and after the events of the day, it honestly didn't matter to me anymore.

I received a mostly clean bill of health, no concussions or serious head trauma, but it did look like I had a bruised rib that would be tender for a while, either way I got off easier than Jackson Hunter who was probably sitting in a cell someplace just like he deserved.

Corey followed us home, and my dad stayed only for a few moments to make sure I was okay to leave behind. However, seeing as Corey wasn't going anywhere any time soon he was convinced I was safe and went back to work.

We ended up on the couch for the rest of that afternoon just scrolling through movies on stream. He had brought down one of my pillows and set it on his lap allowing me to lay on it with his hand slowly stroking my back.

I faded in and out of sleep, and Corey never moved. He stayed locked into his position of guardian at the gate the entire time as I slept. I held my eyes closed and smiled in one of my waking moments.

"I love you, Nathan." He said gently, thinking I was still asleep.

"I love you too Corey," I whispered.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Does that make it any less true?" I asked gently, glancing up at him.

"No."

"So we're boyfriends now?" He asked casually.

"I thought we already were after the other night." I shot back.

I raised up, laying across his chest, and gave him a quick peck on the lips, which he returned with fervor.

"Are you okay?" Corey asked as we broke free of our lip lock.

"I am now. Thanks for being here Corey."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

That sentiment made my heart melt, and it earned Corey another kiss.

The rest of the week was calm. I went to school the next day despite my dad telling me I could stay home, but honestly, I felt the need to just get on with life. Of course, I was the scuttlebutt of the schoolyard for the rest of the week, and not only had Jackson Hunter been expelled, and arrested, but his cohorts got punished as well. They all got kicked off the football team and were banned from playing any kind of sport till the next school year, and I certainly didn't feel bad for any of it. Corey ended up with the credit he so richly deserved having been the one who tore Jackson away from me, which in hindsight seemed to make Jess like him all that much more.

My dad did end up scheduling me time with a shrink as promised, even though I didn't feel like I needed one. Corey evened me out, he calmed me. Since we started hanging out I didn't feel like the angry teenager I was before. But I had promised my dad, so we went together just like he and Chris had. The idea was I would go first, then be joined by my dad for the latter half. We still hadn't talked about Corey, but I had a feeling it would come up.

I found myself in the shrink's office alone going through this guy's list of accomplishments, that adorned the walls and there was a lot. It seemed like this dude was a real go-getter, and part of me couldn't wait to get to know him.

"Hello Nathan, how are you doing today?" A voice interrupted my thoughts.

"You sure do get around a lot don't you?" I asked absently as I tore myself away from what I had been reading.

"Why do you say that?" He asked jovially.

"Well, it's kind of all over the place." I quipped.

"Yes, yes, it is. Well, as you may have guessed, I am Doctor Gavin Casey, and I do get around quite a bit somehow. But please call me Gavin, or Gav if you prefer."

"Gav it is then, feel free to call me Nate," I said as I took my seat.

"Nate it is." He said as he went through a folder with what I guessed had my information in it. "Your dad filled me in on some things, and I'm also working with your brother Chris. Anything we talk about here today won't get said outside the two of us."

"Chris sends his regards," I started. "He also says you're good at what you do."

"Well thank you. I try. So let's get into you. Seems like you've had a busy couple of weeks." Gavin replied.

"Yeah, you could say that," I said with a half smile.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit of it in your words so I can understand your views? So far I've only had your dad to go by."

I started with that incident with Corey, and our suspension together. I talked about how the lughead made me talk to him when I didn't want to, the rest of our incarceration together, and how we became friends.

"Seems like you and Corey are close then?" He said after I finished explaining.

"Quite," I said simply.

"You know I'm actually kind of surprised. I half expected this angry guy to show up today and we'd fight tooth and nail for a while before you actually said anything." Gavin commented with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Corey calmed me down. It's hard to explain, I guess, when I'm around him I just feel different. That angry kid is just gone like he wasn't ever there."

"So you and Corey are..." Gavin said giving me a questioning look.

I blushed and nodded, "Yeah. We are. My brother knows, but I haven't told my dad yet." I said meekly.

"Maybe you can do that later when he comes in here? Your dad seems to care about you a great deal."

"I know he does, and he knows I'm gay, that came out when my mom was sick. We just didn't make a big deal out of it because we had other stuff going on..."

"With your mom," Gavin said finishing the sentence for me.

"Yeah. I wanted her to know before she died."

"Well it's good that you made that choice, tell me about your mom, and how you felt going through that."

This guy didn't pull any punches, but I did. It was hard watching her go through the illness and treatment without being able to do anything about it. I was so angry back then. Not at her, but at what afflicted her, and I was mad when it took her away from us.

I explained how my dad fell into this depression that only seemed to get deeper, which only made me even more angry. We had stopped doing things as a family, he worked more and spent more time away from home leaving Chris and I to fend for ourselves. My anger had blinded me to the point that I didn't even see how it was affecting Chris, and what he sacrificed for my sake, to be the one thing that stayed in the present.

I felt like crap when I relayed the events that led to his breakdown on the side of the road, and the brawl me and Corey had later that night on the lawn.

There was a moment of silence that ate at me when I was finished talking.

"It's okay to feel guilty about your actions. Just as long as the guilt doesn't eat you alive," Gavin said softly.

"It doesn't eat me alive really, not anymore," I said as my mind wandered. "Well you know, Corey."

"Your dad told me about the incident at school a few days ago," Gavin stated to open the next bit of dialogue.

"Yeah, that moron Jackson Hunter." I said as I rolled my eyes, "You know if it had been just him I could have handled that."

"Your brother calls you a firecracker."

"That's because I hold my own in a fight," I said honestly, "And before you ask. No, I don't go looking for them, but if one comes I'll finish it."

"That, I have no doubt," Gavin said with a chuckle, "So I'm guessing you aren't having any real issues from that incident."

"No, not at all. The dude was stupid, he was told not to go near me and yet it didn't click in his head what would happen if he did. I'm good with the result, he got what he deserves."

Gavin studied me for a moment, then decided he was happy with my answer, "So why don't we get your dad in here."

I nodded and he got up to bring my dad in who sat next to me.

"So, the first impression of your son is, he's fine. He's actually a well-adjusted 16-year-old, and the anger he had in him before doesn't appear to be a pressing concern at this time."

"Oh thank God," My dad said causing me to give him a funny look.

"Nathan, why don't you tell your dad what you told me earlier about him."

"I was angry Dad. You pulled away from us and it just made it worse, like we weren't a family anymore." I admitted in a small voice.

"That's my fault son," My dad replied with watery eyes. "I was lost for a while. I didn't know how to handle you guys. Your mom always had a point when it came to you and your brother. She knew you guys better than I did, not that I didn't love you just the same. Do you know? Then, after she died it seemed like your anger knew no limit, and you changed overnight."

I nodded, I knew what he meant. My hair, my clothes, everything about me changed overnight last summer. It was the anger that had done it. I just felt no joy in life.

"Then that incident with Corey Andrews. I knew that if nothing changed, you were headed into a dark place, that me and your brother weren't sure we could pull you from. And your brother, Jesus Christ I had no idea. I could see your self-destruction, but he hid all of his."

"Is Chris doing better?" I asked both of them.

"He is, like you, seems to be resilient, far better than I am," My dad said with a chuckle, "Chris does miss you though. You two used to be tight, I mean why do you think I bought you guys those matching dirt bikes? When Chris got his you weren't having any of it without one of your own."

"I haven't touched it since Mom died," I said as I looked at the floor.

"I know, son. And you know he's kept it up, changed the fluids, kept it running, just in case you decided you wanted to again. He doesn't ride as often as he used to, but I know he would if you asked."

I nodded, thumbing away a tear.

"Just to touch back on Corey Andrews..." Gavin said as he cleared his throat.

"Oh shit, I mean shoot." I looked sheepishly at both of them, "Dad, Corey and I are sorta... You know a couple."

"Tell me something I don't know. I'm guessing Corey is the reason why you've calmed down recently."

"Yeah."

"It's serious then?" He asked.

I gave a quiet nod.

"And Chris knows?"

"Chris guessed."

"That boy was always too smart for his own good. Nathan, I know we never talked about it, but I haven't had an issue with you being gay. When your mom told me I was a little shocked, but somehow not surprised."

"So, you're cool with me and Corey then?" I asked gently.

"Corey seems to be a good kid, I like him, so does your brother. Don't ever be afraid to be yourself in front of us, Nathan."

"Thanks, Dad."

We talked for a little bit more, mainly about how I felt now, versus back then, how I felt after the Jackson Hunter incident, and I guess my overall mental state up to this point. As I thought earlier, I felt fine because I had Corey, my dad, and Chris, I honestly didn't need much else.

We left Gavin's office not long after, and we talked some more while getting a late lunch. I still had the option of going back to school but at that point, I'd only have two classes left so I just had him drop me off at the house. Chris's car was in the driveway and the garage door was open, which peaked my curiosity.

"Chris?" I asked cautiously as I didn't see him immediately.

"Oh hey! How's it going?" He asked as I saw his head come into view. He sat crouched next to his bike, adjusting the carburetor.

"It went great, what are you doing?"

"Last time I took it out, it ran a little rich, I'm trying to see if I can turn it down a little."

"Aren't you the one who always liked it a little rich?"

"Rich, not flooded little bro," He said with a chuckle.

I wandered quietly to the back of the garage and lifted the cover off my bike. It looked just as great as it always did. Chris and I had matching bikes, his a lime green, mine navy blue with white stripes. He didn't say anything as I climbed up onto it.

"Uh, does this still run?" I asked quietly.

"Depends. Do you remember how to start it?" Chris asked with a grin.

My fingers automatically went through the sequence and it started on the first push of my foot. I revved it gently a couple of times before hitting the kill switch.

"Damn, you do remember."

"It's not like I could ever forget Chris. Uhm, Dad told me, what you did," I said looking over the bike.

"I figured I'd just keep it ready, so when you are, your bike would be too." He said waving me off.

"And if I'm ready now?" I asked.

"Oh, I've been waiting so long for this moment," Chris beamed with a bright smile. He got up and tossed me my helmet that matched the bike and reached for his.

"Then let's go," I said walking the bike out to the driveway. Chris pulled his next to me and mounted it as I mounted mine. Helmets went on together as the quiet neighborhood erupted into chaos as the bikes fired to life.

And we took off towards the trails behind the subdivision as only two brothers could.