Life Saver Part 10 Written by: GADawg4242@aol.com
Legal Disclaimer: OK if you are under 18 don't read this please! It is against the law you know. Also if you are offended by this type of writing or gayness then please goto another website. Also this story doesn't assume that Brian Litrell, Nick Carter, AJ Mclean, or Carson Daly is gay so this story is ALL fantasy. This story doesn't have anything to do with their real sexuality. Although I wish it did. Anyway...ENJOY!
Author's Note: Wow, another BSB story. Well this is my first time writing. All of your compliments and constructive criticisms are extremely welcome. Just email me at my e-mail address and I will get back to you. I am going to try to make this different from all the other BSB stories. You may see some similarities from other stories. . . but there are so many how can I not do some of the same things? Well I hope you give me a chance with this and if you like it and I get enough response I will continue this. For now thanks for reading!!!! The next part will come out ASAP. Again please e-mail me with your thoughts.
Well guys! This is part ten. I've been getting some good comments from my readers and it is great to know that I have some fans out there. I am going to continue to write but, I am going to be extremely busy with school NOW IN SESSION! and the more support I get will encourage me to get these parts out ASAP. So if you guys are reading this please e-mail me and tell me if you hate it or like it. Do ya'll like my addition of Carson Daly? Do you like the fact that Nick is gay? Any suggestions on where I should take this story? Even if you think I should throw it in the gutter? A few people have told me they don't like AJ being gay. Does anyone else feel this way? I will get back to you I promise ya! Just write to me PLEASE I love all of my readers! Now I sent in 5 new questions from my story for the next game show so you better be reading up...even if you have just started.....They are really easy! IF YOU DONT HAVE ICQ GET IT....PLEASE!
If you didn't read the results of the 2nd bi-annual BSB-NSYNC awards I didn't win anything but, that is ok. I know I have a lot of faithful readers and people like Keith keep me going. THANK YOU SO MUCH KEITH..... If you don't know Keith his is an author and his story is really good so if you want to read it is called...'Keith and Brian'. Now...all of my reader I want ya'll to participate in the second game show so please get ICQ so you can play and talk to me! I have ICQ too! I was helping and playing in the first game show and it was a lot of fun. The vascardi's are hold the game show this time and you don't have to get ICQ but, if you want to talk to me in real time I suggest it anyway. Go to the Vascardi's homepage if you want to be in the game show.
As I have been writing I have lost track of time and I don't know what day it is in my story and I am a lazy man....SO, I am offering an early edition of the next part of Life Saver for the person who tells me accurately what day the story is currently on....as in Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday....and I mean ACCURATE.....So, whoever emails me first with the correct day will get an early edition of Life Saver Part 11
Ok...the last time I had a question about the sex scenes....I didn't get any response so I guess I am doing ok...if you think my sex scenes suck...PLEASE TELL ME and give me suggestions....Also if you think the story is boring because of the lack of sex tell me that also! Thank you for reading and enjoy this part of Life Saver!
ICQ# 42396480
E-mail: GADawg4242@aol.com
PS: Feedback is very warmly received so please email me guys!!!
"AJ????", Nick yelled as he realized who he had been kissing.
"Hey Nickie! What's up in da HOWWSSSEEE!!!!", AJ said drunkenly as he began to dance sexually around Nick.
"AJ....what the fuck are you doing?!?", Nick boomed as he pushed AJ off of him.
"Come on baby!!! Let's dance the night away!", AJ laughed out as he grabbed on to Nick and started to hump him. AJ held Nick's arms so he couldn't move and began to suck on his neck. Nick squirmed his way out of AJ's grip and ran for cover in Carson's arms.
"Come on baby...I love you....Nickie come here....", AJ called after Nick as he followed him over to Carson. AJ grabbed Nick out of Carson's arms and started to grope and kiss him in front of everyone.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF HIM BITCH!!!", Carson screamed as he pulled AJ off of Nick.
"Fuck you!", AJ yelled as he threw a punch at Carson. Carson dodged the punch and threw one back at AJ that made AJ fall to his knees. Carson kicked AJ in the head and beat him to the floor.
"Carson....Carson...stop...stop ok!", Nick yelled as he pulled Carson off of his friend. AJ picked himself up of the floor and found that his face was bleeding profusely. AJ dragged himself out of the club crying and wiping the tears from his eyes. As he walked past Nick he whispered something that only Nick could hear.
"I still love you Nickie...."
"What did he say to you?", Carson asked curiously.
"Nothin....let's go.", Nick said sadly as he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and walked out of the club to their limo. As soon as Nick entered the limo he fell to his knees and began to sob. Carson couldn't begin to comprehend the pain and confusion his young boyfriend was feeling at this very second. All Carson could do was be there for Nick when he needed him. The limo began to move towards the hotel and Nick was still on the floor crying. Although the two young men were drunk out of their minds nothing seemed funny at this point. The limo arrived at the hotel and the driver opened the door to let the two gentlemen out. Carson knew that Nick was in no shape to walk so he carefully picked up the younger boy and carried him into the hotel. Carson walked over to the elevator and set his boyfriend down so that he could press the button.
"You think you can stand up the rest of the way or do you want me to carry you up?", Carson asked gently with a slightly drunken slur.
"I think I can get it....", Nick sobbed out as he closed his eyes and waited on the elevator to open. The doors opened and allowed the two men to enter the elevator alone and they went up to their room silently. The doors opened and they were finally on their private hall and had to walk to the first door on the right.
"I wonder how Robert is doing...", Nick and Carson thought simultaneously as they both passed the room.
"Well...home at last. I guess you don't want me to stay tonight. That is cool...I guess I will see you tomorrow Nickie.", Carson said with a frown on his face.
"Actually...I would prefer it if you would stay. I am not feeling to good right now and I need someone to make me happy."
"Ok, I'll stay with you Nick.", Carson said in a deep and serious voice. Nick opened his door and allowed Carson to enter. Nick turned the bed lamp on and fell on took all of his clothes off except his boxers. Carson stared in awe at his boyfriend and took off all his clothes as well. Nick laid on the bed and got under the covers as Carson followed Nick's every move. Nick turned out the light and closed his eyes trying to get away from the reality he would have to face in the days to come. Carson laid on his back, with his eyes open, and wondered what had made Nick so upset.
"I was just defending my boyfriend when I hit AJ!", Carson thought to himself. Carson began to worry if Nick was mad at him and became very upset with himself. Carson was just about to leave Nick's room when Nick turned over and cuddled with Carson unconsciencely.
"I love you....", Nick moaned in his sleep. Carson's eyes lit up and he was now at ease over himself.
"I love you too Nickie...", Carson whispered as he kissed Nick on the forehead and fell asleep.
"That's right....Holiday Inn....uhuh...Room 904. You'll be here in thirty minutes? Great! I'll be waiting for you.", Howie said as he hung up the phone and closed the phone book he had used to call a hooker.
"Ok Chico...you are gonna get some tonight!", Howie laughed hysterically. Howie had been jacking off for a couple of hours and had conveniently forgotten about what had happened only hours before. The hooker arrived on time and Howie answered the door eagerly. The hooker was delighted to see that her job for tonight was a celebrity.
"Get on the bed baby!", Howie called out as he ripped all of his clothes off and jumped on top of the hooker. The hooker quickly got on her knee's and started to suck on Howie's latin cocko. Howie moaned in pleasure as he guided the girl's mouth onto his dick. Howie got close just as the hooker took his cock out of her mouth.
"Hey! I don't get to cum!?!", Howie complained.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SPIC!!!", the whore called out as she wrapped a condom around his dick and threw here nasty pussy on to his dick. The whore jumped up and down on Howie's dick and pleasured herself while she was pleasuring her job. Quickly enough the job was done and Howie had cummed. Howie threw the bitch her money and she left pleased at her accomplishment. Howie pulled his boxers on and passed out in his bed...happy that he had gotten laid.
Kevin was still awake thinking about what had happened to Robert. Kevin was so infuriated with Brandon that he wanted to kill him.
"I may have not known Rob for that long but, he is basically family to me! You can't do this to my family you asshole!", Kevin screamed in dispair. Kevin laid his head on the table and began to cry in hopelessness.
"I swear on my grave that I will avenge everything you have done to Robert and Brian!", Kevin cried out to himself. Kevin crawled over to his bed and climbed up into it shut of the light. He closed his eyes and thought about how to get Brandon back. Kevin finally grew tired and conked out still clenching his fists together.
The night past and morning came without my parents calling, without Brian saying I love you, without me being happy, and without me not crying. I woke up with tears in my eyes and I quickly remembered what had happened they day before. I turned to look towards the window and I saw Brian squatting next to the bed looking into my eyes with a scared and sad look. I gave him a fake smile and I closed my eyes again, hoping he would go would understand and just give me my space. Obviously, he didn't so he initiated conversation.
"Are you ok?", Brian asked as I sat in silence looking through him. "Well, will you talk to me?", Brian pleaded and got a similar reply.
"Robert....I feel terrible for what your parents did to you and I feel like it is partially my fault. I shouldn't have let you fall in love with me so quickly. You are pretty young still and I didn't realize that until it was too late. If you want to break up with me I will understand...",Brian confessed as he walked away stiffly.
"Brian....I don't want to break up with you. You are all I have right now and I need you. I can't have you abandon me because I have no where to go. I still love you...and it isn't your fault at all..it is all of my fault!", I sobbed out to Brian who was listening intently.
"What can I do to make you happy Robert?"
"I don't know yet. I guess we just wait and time will tell our fate.", I said solemnly.
"It will be all right. It has to be!", Brian said hopefully.
"Yeah...well just my luck it won't be. I never seem to have anything good happen to me.", I said in anguish.
"Well, today is a day off. Nothin is on the schedule so I thought me and you could spend the day together out on the city!", Brian exclaimed in a happier mood.
"I dunno Bri....I am not in the best of moods right now. I feel like I could blow up emotionally any second.", I sobbed out.
"Come on baby...just me and you. This will do you some good. No one to bother us...please???", Brian begged with a puppy dog face.
"Damn you! I just hope you don't beg like that when I actually can't physically go somewhere with you!", I said giggling.
"Naw...I'll help you walk if you can't!", he kidded.
"Oh thanks...well can you help me get up?", I asked innocently.
"Sure...", Brian said with a smile as he almost yanked my arm out of my socket.
"Let me take a shower and then we can go eat breakfast and plan our day. Ok?", I said giving Brian a gentle good morning kiss on the lips.
"Ok...", Brian said as if he weren't finished speaking. "Umm...ummm...", Brian stuttered out.
"What?", I asked looking back at a tongue tied Brian.
"Can I take a shower with you?", Brian asked with his head towards the ground.
"I suppose..but, no horseplay aight?", I said hitting Brian where it hurt most.
"Ouch!?! You think I can't keep my other head in check?", Brian asked in a hurt tone.
"No, I KNOW you can't keep it in check!", I joked as I pushed Brian into the bathroom and stripped my boxers off. I turned the shower on and waited for the water to get hot. Brian had taken off his boxers and wrapped his arms around me and began to kiss my neck.
"I am so sorry about all of this shit happening. I can't believe Brandon told your mom about us.", he said while kissing my shoulders.
"Yeah....well....I guess that is just the way Brandon is. I just don't know how I am gonna face my parents. I feel really guilty Brian....", I said softly as my head fell slowly. The water had been running for a while so I stepped in to the enormous shower and let Brian get in also. I got under the water and drenched my hair in the hot water. I shampooed my hair and totally forgot that Brian was in the shower with me. I sat down on one of the shower benches and closed my eyes and let the hot shower soak in. Brian sat and stared at me while I was in my own world. For some reason I felt that me and Brian were drifting apart. I opened my eyes and saw Brian under the shower spicket washing himself off. He had lathered up and finished washing off when I woke up from my day dream.
"Brian??", I called.
"Whaty...."
"You remember how I wanted to talk right?"
"Yeah."
"I think we need to have that talk soon.", I confessed.
"When babe?"
"How about right now?", I suggested.
"Umm...ok. Let's get out of the shower and get some clothes on and we can talk.", Brian stated as he helped me up and we got out of the shower. I sat on the chair in the bathroom and stared at the ground while Brian was drying off. I watched as Brian combed his hair and brushed his teeth without clothes on and wondered how I got here. I wondered how I had gotten to this point with my "fantasy man". I was just an 18y/o trumpet player with hardly any friends who is gay and recently has been basically disowned by his family yet, Brian Litrell has been my boyfriend not even a week and is comfortable enough to be naked in front of me.
"OK!!! My life makes totally NO fuckin sense!", I cried out in dispair as Brian looked at me in the mirror.
"Robert...what's wrong? I mean I know what's wrong but, why do you feel so worthless?"
"I just do ok?!? You wouldn't understand because you are perfect!", I snapped out.
"Robert....I am not perfect at all.", Brian confessed.
"Oh really?!? How do you figure?", I asked sarcastically.
"Baby, let's get you into some clothes and we will talk about this aight?", Brian said holding out his hand with a smile. I grabbed his hand reluctantly and stood up from my seat. Brian grabbed a dry towel from the rack and started to dry me off. He gently went over my entire body and soaked up all the water that had stuck to my body. Then he grabbed his comb and gently brushed my hair as he held my hand and rubbed it carefully. I closed my eyes and sighed from all of this attention. "I barely knew this man personally and he was grooming me!", I thought to myself in laughter. Brian put toothpaste on my tooth brush and let my brush my own teeth. I kept my eyes on the awaiting Brian while I brushed my teeth. Brian just stood their staring into my eyes in the mirror with a smile on his face. I washed my mouth out and turned to look a Brian again.
"What's next?", I asked reluctantly as Brian held up a razor and shaving gel. "Brian...I don't trust you with my face and that razor!", I said giggling. "Well....now is the time to start!", Brian whispered in my ear as he began to lather up my face with the gel. After my face was fully lathered up Brian filled the sink with hot water and began to shave my face. Brian gently shaved my lip and my cheek's. Then, he shaved my neck perfectly and cleaned the razor. Brian took the washrag in the sink and cleaned the excess gel off my face and dried my face off. Brian kissed my cheek and simply said..."Done!"
I walked out of the bathroom with Brian around my waist and went over to my suitcase where my clothes were. I unzipped my huge suitcase and rummaged through all of the clothes I had. I couldn't decide what I wanted to wear today so I asked Brian.
"I think you should where the plaid pants and that vest with a white tshirt.", Brian said as he pointed out the clothes he preferred.
"Ok, I guess I can look like a snob today!", I joked as I put on my boxers and the clothes Brian had picked out. I walked over to where Brain had plopped down and found that he had put on some clothes of his own what looked very familiar.
"Umm...Brian, we kind of have identical clothes on!", I said with a nervous smile.
"You're kidding....I didn't notice!", Brian stated slyly.
"Uhuh...sure. Well, I think you look better than me in this outfit anyways.", I complimented him.
"Baby...we have got to work on your self esteem!", Brian said bringing us back to our conversation in the bathroom. "For starters I am not perfect Robert!", Brian restated.
"How do you figure?", I asked spektically.
"Ok, well if you know some much about me you know that I have a bad heart!", Brian reminded me. I closed my eyes and tried to hold in the tears of fear.
"So it is still bad? You aren't gonna die are you?", I asked nervously.
"Robbie...I am ok and no I am not gonna die. I shouldn't have sad I have a bad heart because it is fine now.", Brian comforted me.
"Ok, whatever you say.", I said going along with his explanation. "Is there anythign else that makes you not perfect?"
"Hell yeah! I was the last guy picked to be in the Backstreet Boys. I am SHORT! I am even shorter than my boyfriend. That is real bad!", Brian said busting out laughing. "And there is one more thing that make me imperfect.", Brian confessed.
"What is that?", I asked reluctantly.
"I haven't been the best boyfriend I can be. I promise you I will give you my all. I love you Robert. I love you more than anything and I hate to see you cry. If you cry then I am not being a good boyfriend. I will always be here for you and lately that closeness hasn't been there between us. And for that I am sorry. All I can ask is that you will stay with me and forgive me. I truly love you Robert and don't doubt that...EVER.", Brian confessed with tears in his eyes.
I laid on the bed in shock of Brian's confession. All of this was unbelievable but, I finally knew that it Brian's love was true. I didn't care what my parents thought. I loved Brian more than anything in the world and I was going to do what made me happy. Brian's words had held me speechless but, the look in my eyes was enough to answer all of Brian's worries. Brian nodded his head and smiled. Brian gently kissed my lips and made everything all right again.
Nick woke up in his bed feeling cold and lonely. He looked around and noticed that Carson wasn't in the bed with him and the balcony door was open. Nick wiped the sleep out of his eyes and slowly made his way over to the open balcony. Nick was in his boxers and felt a chill when he stepped out on to the high balcony. Nick saw Carson in a lounge chair staring out into the city.
"You all right?", Nick asked concerned.
"Yeah, I am cool. I always do this before I get started in the morning. I just go outside and think.", Carson explained.
"What ya thinkin about...?"
"Oh...just things."
"What kind of things?", Nick asked curiously.
"Things we don't need to worry about for a couple of days....", Carson said trying to change the subject.
"Oh..well I want to know now so we don't have to worry later.", Nick pleaded feverishly. Carson glanced at Nick and looked away. Then he spoke.
"Nick, you know I love you right?
"Yeah....I love you to Carson."
"Well, what is gonna happen when you leave New York? I mean I can't go with you, I have to stay hear and I don't think I can be away from you that long. I don't see how this relationship is going to work.", Carson said looking away Nick. Nick stood in the confusion and realization that he would have to part from his new found boyfriend in a few days. Nick walked back into the room and went directly to the shower. Nick jumped in the hot shower and thought about everything that he had done with Carson and how to spend time with him when he did eventually leave.
"Why do I have to leave him!", Nick cried out in dispair hitting the shower wall. "FUCKKKK!!!!", Nick cried out in pain. Nick covered his eyes and began to sob with himself as the hot water poured over his tired body. Suddenly, Nick felt a loving hand on his shoulder and felt at ease with himself. He looked up and saw it was Carson smiling at him.
"What's wrong baby boy?", Carson said in a baby's voice.
"I don't want to leave you or lose you...", Nick sobbed.
"Well, don't be scared of that right now. Maybe we can think of something before you have to go and we won't be away from each other so much.", Carson said easing his young boyfriends pain.
"I sure do hope so. I'm not to hopeful though, since all of this bad stuff is happening to Robert and Brian.", Nick said sadly.
"Well, I think Kevin has something in store for their "Brandon" problem. I am pretty sure everything is going to be ok with Rob and Brian.", Carson comfortably stated.
"There is another thing I am worried about.", Nick confessed.
"What is that?", Carson wondered.
"AJ."
"Oh, yeah, well hopefully it was just the alcohol talking and he wasn't thinking.", Carson said hopefully.
"I don't think so Carson. I mean why would he be at a gay bar in the first place?", Nick pondered.
"Oh...well I never thought of that. I don't have a problem showing him who your boyfriend is again, if you know what I mean.", Carson said while punching his fist into his palm.
"AJ is my friend Carson. I don't want him to be mad at me forever. I don't think violence is the way to go with him"
"Well, if I see that ass kissing on you he is gonna get it! No questions asked.", Carson stated bluntly. Nick just stared at the water running and didn't say anything. Nick didn't know if he had feelings for AJ or not but, he had to face him sooner or later.
"Well Nickie, let's get out of here and get some breakfast or something.", Carson suggested.
"Sounds good to me...", Nick agreed as he turned the water off and got out of the shower. Nick and Carson got dressed and headed downstairs to the lobby and went to the private restaurant for the celebrities of the hotel. Carson ate his breakfast in silence as he thought of a way to spend time with Nick when he had to leave. Nick hadn't got breakfast and just sat and watched Carson eat. Carson finished his cereal and looked up to the awaiting Nick.
"Hellooooooo....Nick!", Carson called.
"Hmmmm?"
"You are kind of out of it today aren't you?", Carson asked.
"I dunno...There is just something I need to take care of but, I don't know how."
"Well can I help?", Carson asked generously.
"No, I have to do this by myself...I gotta go.", Nick said as he left the table and kissed Carson on the cheek. Carson touched his cheek and stared at where Nick had been sitting in amazement. He had no idea why Nick would abandon him without giving a reason. Carson gathered himself and made his way out of the hotel and went to MTV studios just like a normal day.
AJ laid in his bed asleep after his long and rough night. He had been drained emotionally and physically. AJ slowly awoke when he heard a knock at the door.
"Hello?!?", AJ called from outside the door.
"Let me in!", the voice said in a pleading manner.
"Who is it?", AJ asked confused.
"Just let me in AJ!", the voice said more forcefully.
"What do you want!", AJ yelled as he opened the door and saw that Nick was standing outside.
"What are you doing here Nick?"
"We need to talk.", Nick demanded politely.
"About what?", AJ asked sarcastically.
"We need to talk about what happened last night.", Nick said dropping the ball.
"Oh...well whatever...", AJ sighed as he walked back into his room and left the door open. Nick cautiously walked into the dark room and saw that it was generally neat except for the bed was unmade. He looked over to the bed and saw that AJ was on his knees crying just like the night before. Nick walked over to his friend and sighed.
"AJ, I...I didn't know you liked me. Fuck dude, I didn't even know you were gay so how could I know?", Nick asked out of dispair.
"I don't know Nickie...It's just I love you as a friend and I would like it to be more and you go and find a boyfriend. I can't deal with that Nick.", AJ sobbed as his face was embedded in the bed.
"Listen, I didn't know you liked me. Me and Carson are a new couple and I don't even know if we are gonna be a couple for much longer. When we have to leave NYC Carson and I are as good as done. I know that me and him are new but, I don't think I am gonna be able to deal with losing him. Maybe you can help me forget about him.", Nick said with a grin as AJ looked up from his pillow.
"Nick, I won't let you cheat on Carson. Not consciously anyway. Last night I was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly but, cheating is really bad and if you are gonna cheat on Carson with me then you might cheat on me. I don't want that to happen at all.", AJ stated as he wiped his tears away.
"Oh, I won't cheat on Carson but, I might need help getting over him when we break up after we leave NYC.", Nick said with sadness.
"Maybe I can.....", AJ whispered as he grinned and stood up.
"So, is this problem fixed?", Nick asked hopefully.
"For now it is...", AJ answered brightly.
"Ok, oh....and one more thing...". Nick stepped close to AJ and kissed him forcefully on the lips. AJ tried to pull away but, he didn't want to. Nick left his tongue in his mouth knowing that he had already gone to far. He gently released his grip and stared into AJ's eyes.
"Bye...", Nick whispered as he walked out of the room.
Kevin sat in his room in deep thought about one thing.
"What is the best way to get that Son of a Bitch back!", Kevin pondered. "Well, I think I have beat the shit out of him enough, so that isn't a possibility......I don't think public humiliation is a possibility either....too boring there. Hmmmm.....OH SHIT....Why didn't I think of this before?!?!", Kevin thought to himself as he grabbed the phone and dialed the operator.
"Yeah, can I have the phone number of someone's parent's if I have their name?", Kevin asked the operator nicely.
"Well, we don't give it out unless it is an emergency.", the operator informed him.
"This is an emergency....", Kevin stated seriously.
"Ok sir, what is the name of the person you have?"
"Brandon Williams...."
"Ok....hold on and let me check in the files to get his parents telephone number.", the operator said as she put him on hold.
"Finally, this asshole is gonna get a taste of his own medicine.", Kevin said as he waited on the operator to come back with his requested information.
"Ok sir, the number for Brandon Williams parents is 912-623-7654...his mom's name is Melanie and his father's name is George."
"Thank you so much mamm", Kevin said in his thick country accent.
"Your welcome sir!", the operated said cheerfully as she hung up. Kevin hung up the phone and quickly picked it back up to make the call to Brandon's parents.
"Hello?", Melanie Williams answered.
"Hi...is Melanie or George Williams available?", Kevin asked politely.
"Yes, this is Melanie."
"Hi my name is Kevin and I have some news about your son."
"Well, what has he done now?", she said with a laugh.
"Umm...I don't know how to put this but, your son is in love with my best friend and my best friend is a guy.", Kevin said spilling the beans.
"Excuse me?", she said amazed.
"Ummm....Mrs. Williams, your son is gay and he has been stalking my best friend and his boyfriend for a week now and he had ruined the life of my friend severely. I just wanted to make sure you knew what he was doing. I am sorry if I upset you....", Kevin said with faint expressions.
"My...my....my son is gay?", she asked with a trembling voice.
"I am sorry. I thought you knew. I was just concerned about my friends well being and I wanted you to know what he was doing. Once again I am sorry.", Kevin said again not meaning what he was saying.
"Well, thank you Kevin. I will talk to his father and we will decide how to handle this. Goodbye.", Melanie said as she hung up the phone hysterical.
"Payback is coming Brandon!"