In the following story, all of the characters are totally fictive and the setting is real. For whomever it would be illegal, immoral or prohibited for any other reason whatsoever to read a story about love between two young men is kindly requested to refrain from continuing. A free picture album illustrating this story (pdf) is available upon request at maringiustinian@gmail.com. Please remember to help Nifty stay online by sending your contribution. This being said, I hope you enjoy the tale.
LIGHT by Marin Giustinian
Fort William, Scotland then Stormolla Island, Norway, 2018
Marcus Sutherland and his son Joel were having their Saturday night homecoming dinner together in their favourite restaurant, the Grog and Gruel, on High Street in downtown Fort William, Scotland.
After the usual small talk, towards the end of the meal, Marcus cleared his throat and stated, "Son, I've got some news for you."
Joel swallowed what was in his mouth and waited for his Dad to continue.
"There's a new woman in my life now... and I think it's serious."
Joel coughed, then uttered, "That's great, Dad. Do I know her?"
"Not yet. She's our new French teacher in the High School. She replaced Mr. Durand after his heart attack. She arrived with her son just after Christmas... I'm sure you'll love her. She's quite an impressive lady!"
"And what about her son?"
"He's seventeen, a smart lad. He had no problem adapting from his former school in Glasgow.
"I suppose then that she's either a widow or divorced..."
"Neither. She's a single mother..."
Joel eyes widened as he inquired, "And the lad's father, does he fit in somewhere?"
"The father is totally unknown. Nelly told me that she had been a big time party girl in college. She and two other girls were doing their summer course in Paris, to work on their French... So to get to the point, they met up with a group of Italian fellows their age taking the same course -- it was a one-night fling -- once back home in Glasgow, she realised that she was pregnant. With her parents, she decided to keep the babe and raised him alone..."
"I get the picture..." interrupted Joel, a bit annoyed, "when can I meet them?"
"I thought it would be nice for the four of us to have lunch together in Mallaig tomorrow, take a look at the boat, have lunch, and go for a stroll somewhere."
"But I just got here."
"Is there a problem?"
"Not really... It's just that all that's pretty sudden! Listen, Dad, I'm happy for you if you're happy. What else can I say other than I love you? I'll be happy also to meet them tomorrow."
They lifted their glasses, looked into each other's eyes and toasted.
"To love, Dad!"
"Yes, to love! I love you too!"
Joel Sutherland, nineteen years of age, studied photography at Inverness College. He was finishing a one year, full time course entitled: Photography Higher. He had just arrived back home for the two weeks' Easter holiday. His father, Marcus Sutherland, was the head teacher at Lochaber High School in Fort William, Scotland.
Joel's mother was a victim of breast cancer. She passed away three years before. After that, Marcus devoted all of his spare time and affection to his teenage son. Father and son together stood steadfast with each other, as they recovered from their mutual loss.
Once back in his boyhood room, a sudden sensation of emptiness hit him in the guts. Nausea and grief. The face of his mother flashed again in his mind. His throat felt swollen. He wanted to weep. Accustomed to his father's hugs, his tender words, and their sailing times together, the news of outsiders violating their intimacy seemed silently unbearable. The bonds he shared with his father were sacred and exclusive, leaving no room for anyone else but him.
And yet, mumbling to himself as he crawled naked in bed, he sighed, saying, "I'll get used to it, I suppose. I guess it's normal for Dad to adapt, now that I've sort of left him here by himself... But... but... and shit!"
He turned off the light and waited for sleep to overtake him.
Life was better the following morning. Downstairs at breakfast he asked Marcus, "Dad, how do we dress for the luncheon? Normal or formal? Jeans or kilt?"
"Clean jeans and a shirt are fine. Let's save our kilts for weddings and such!"
Joel swallowed, wondering why his father was talking about weddings...
Joel studied for an hour or so before taking his shower and dressing. When he joined Marcus downstairs, ready to leave, Joel noticed that his father smelled exceptionally good. He was well groomed and perfectly dressed in a casual, country way. They exchanged a quick hug and drove to pick up Nelly and Jeremy for their day in Mallaig together.
Five minutes later they pulled up in front of Nelly's house. Marcus went up to knock on her door, leaving Joel standing beside the car. When Nelly and Jeremy came out, Joel nearly gasped. She was absolutely gorgeous... and so was her son.
Marcus made the introductions after which Nelly stated, looking directly into Joel's eyes, "Marcus, when you talked about your son's qualities, you neglected to mention that he's so stunning."
Of course, Joel blushed, glancing at his father.
"You're right, Nelly. He is a very becoming young man and seeing Jeremy beside you, I discover how lucky he is to take so much after you, also."
With that, Jeremy pertly sided up to Joel and exclaimed, "We two are without a doubt the best looking lads in the Highlands, aren't we, Joel?"
The parents laughed and Joel mumbled, said with a sheepish smile on his face, "Could we change subjects?"
Joel was taken aback by Jeremy's free, uninhibited ways. He didn't know how to cope with the lad, but when he found himself sitting close to him in the back seat, Jeremy's presence had a strangely soothing effect on him, almost warm.
During the hour's drive, Marcus explained that he had always enjoyed sailing. He went on saying that when Joel turned fourteen, he bought a Beneteau 25, a nice medium sized French sailboat that he kept in Mallaig.
"I prefer sailing in the open instead of being confined in the lochs around Fort William. He finished by admitting, "Sailing is what Joel and I share the best together; we're a great team, aren't we, Son?"
"That we are, Dad!"
"I love sailing too," exclaimed Jeremy...
Nelly added, "From the age of nine, he belonged to a sailing club on the Clyde. That was his favourite activity. But I must admit... I'm not much of a sailor girl myself..."
"When we arrive, we'll go down and take a look at Gaol, that's the name of our boat," concluded Marcus.
Nelly inquired, "What does Gaol mean?"
"It's Gaelic for Love..."
"That's so sweet!"
Jeremy smiled at Joel and said, "Maybe we could go sailing sometimes..."
Cutting short to any further intrusion, Joel simply replied, "Maybe..."
The lads in the back seat didn't say much after that. "How are you two doing? You're both so quiet," stated Nelly, taking a look in the back.
"We're fine, Mum," declared Jeremy.
"Quite fine, indeed," added Joel.
"We're almost there," continued Marcus, "I'll try to park near the ferry. On a clear day like today, we can walk. I've reserved at the Cornerstone. It's a nice, quiet restaurant for a family lunch. They'll hold the table until 1:00 PM."
They left the car and strolled over to the marina just beyond the boatworks down by the harbour.
Giving Joel the keys, Marcus said, "Boys, run ahead and open up the boat. Let her air out some."
Arriving, Jeremy exclaimed, "She's beautiful, Goal. Great name, Love can take you anywhere!"
"Well said, Jeremy..." replied Joel, feeling a little more at ease.
"Did your mother enjoy sailing too?"
"She was like yours..."
"I see."
They stepped aboard. Jeremy immediately checked out everything on deck as Joel opened the companionway.
"Does our little yacht, so to speak, please you?" inquired Joel opening the motor hatch.
"She's splendid. Not too big, twenty-five feet at the most. Rakish modern lines. Good balance, clear and sleek. She barely moved when we stepped onboard. How is she beneath?"
"You'll see."
They leaned in the companionway, shoulder to shoulder. Joel explained, "The navigation desk and electronics are just beside the entry, behind there's the loo with a little shower nozzle. On the other side, behind the galley, there's the door to the overnight cabin. In the centre, a folding table, benches, and a nice big V-berth in the bow. Go snoop around and take a look for yourself while I wait for our parents."
Nelly preferred staying on the pier. Marcus jumped aboard, "Looks like everything's in good shape. Start the motor, Joel, just to wake her up a little."
After several tries, the motor sprang to life. Jeremy was paying close attention. The little Yamaha sail-drive hummed like a sewing machine.
"Sounds good. I'm going back up with Nelly now."
"Can we stay on the boat a wee bit longer? I want to check the sails."
"And you, Jeremy?" asked Marcus.
"I'd like to stay!"
"Fine with me, boys. Meet us at the restaurant before one o'clock at the latest," replied Marcus.
"Brilliant! We'll be on time, Dad!"
Joel shut off the motor and showed Jeremy the sail bin. The sails were still white as snow. No mould, no stains, little odour.
"What's that?" inquired Jeremy, indicating the roller furler for the genoa.
He explained, "With that, you can unroll the genoa sail from the cockpit. Also you can reduce it underway. You see, that way everything can be handled from the cockpit."
"You mean you can reef it by just rolling it up, pulling on this line..." commented Jeremy, quite impressed by the modernity of Gaol.
"Exactly!"
"And is your anchor capstan manual or electric?"
"Manual, less threat of a breakdown!"
"I agree; simplicity above all -- I noticed that you attach the fenders with clove hitches instead of bowlines..."
"Easier to undo. I see you know your knots."
"I'm not bad... but I miss sailing... You know, Joel, I'd really like to go for a spin with you on Gaol, just to see how she handles..." laughed Jeremy as he took out his phone, "Can I take a selfie of us onboard."
Joel complied. They stuck their heads together, Jeremy stretched out his arm, and pushed the button.
"I hope I didn't offend you with a selfie. I know that real photographers hate them," added Jeremy.
"Don't worry... I'm not THAT temperamental, not this time at least," he jested.
"What subjects interest you the most? Landscapes, portraits, still life?"
"Light -- Only light really interests me. We'd better go now..."
Jeremy didn't really understand what he meant by being interested only in light.
They arrived at the restaurant just behind their parents. As they ate, Nelly's conversation was light and witty. Joel was fascinated by Jeremy's resemblance to his mother. His laughter, the smile in his eyes when he glanced at Joel, the way he held his glass, everything about him seemed so natural, almost graceful, and self-assured. The food was delicious and duly enjoyed. When everyone had finished, Marcus suggested that since the weather was holding out, almost warm for an April day, that they take a leisure stroll along the banks of Loch Morar.
They parked at the church just after the village and took the road along the north shore. When they arrived at a little pier, Marcus said, "Why don't you two go on for a while... get to know each other better... and leave us here to sit some in the sun?"
Nelly nodded, flashing an irresistible smile at both the boys.
They got the message.
As they were walking, Joel asked, "Is she always that charming, your mother?"
"She's in a special mood now with your father."
"I get the feeling that they've had enough of us around and just want some time alone, like silly teenagers?" commented Joel.
Jeremy giggled and added, "We should be the silly teenagers, shouldn't we?"
"You're quite right, but not for the same reasons!"
A few minutes later, Joel inquired, "Tell me, how do you really feel about them falling in love together? Are you ready to let your Mum live her life with my Dad?"
"Listen, she's happy. More than I've ever seen. Your father's a great man... When he talks about you, it's always with love!"
"Really?"
"Yes. So I'm adjusting to them. I'm used to adjusting, but to be honest, I was sort of dreading meeting you..."
"I was dreading meeting you too...This is all so sudden for me. But I agree. They're SO MUCH in love that I can't blame them... even if I feel a little, how can I say, a little 'excluded'. Anyway, I've been off already for a year and now used to being on my own... well, almost on my own. So I guess I'm ready to let my father change lives too..."
"I see..." uttered Jeremy as they ambled along in silence.
Joel kept glancing at Jeremy, feeling closer with every step. Then he said, "You know, I've been thinking about you and I going on a cruise together. I think my Dad would be delighted about that. As you know, there's no better way to get to know each other. How about us taking two or three days off and go down to Coll and back on Gaol? That is, if the weather holds."
Jeremy immediately stopped in his footsteps, nearly shouting, "Oh, my God, YES!"
"Will your mother agree?"
"She'll say yes, if your Dad does... She's like that..."
Jeremy was so excited that he almost stuttered, adding, "I've only been on day sails, sometimes in rather tricky winds, but I've dreamt of sleeping on a boat, going out of sight of land. You know, going to sea on real voyages and so on."
"Next week, we'll always be in sight of land. It'll be just a wee voyage... but it could be fun. Listen, I've got to catch up on some studying, so I'll cram for the next two days. We could leave Wednesday on the 8:30 AM train. How does that sound?"
"Sounds absolutely wonderful!"
"Do you have a sleeping bag?"
"I can get one!"
"Okay, let's inform the parents about our... our 'voyage' together right now. Turn around, we're going back!"
Joel felt a bit excited too over their impromptu plans. He felt he could trust Jeremy. He had never experienced sailing without his father, but the idea of now being the captain aboard really appealed to him.
Twenty some minutes later, they found Nelly and Marcus still sitting on the wharf, their feet dangling over the water. Joel and Jeremy exchanged an amused glance as they approached.
"Hey there, lovebirds! We're back!" exclaimed Jeremy.
"That we hear!" quipped Marcus, standing, followed by Nelly.
"Did you have a nice stroll together?" inquired Nelly.
"We've made plans..." replied Jeremy.
"Really?" Nelly commented, "About what?"
Joel smiled at his father saying, "We plan to go on a little cruise with Gaol next Wednesday. Just three days over to Coll and back, if the weather holds. We thought it would be a good way to get to know each other better."
"I think that's a brilliant idea! That way Nelly and I can have some holiday time on our own without you two around..."
"Marcus, are you sure that they can handle that boat by themselves? I'll be worried sick!"
"You can trust Joel. He's a better skipper than me. And as for Jeremy, don't you think it's about time to ease up on the leash some?" he said, winking at Jeremy.
"I repeat, Marcus, I'll be worried sick!"
"I'll take care of you, dear. Give them your blessing! I'm sure they'll come back like brothers -- or a least know if they can't stand each other or not. As for us, we're free to do as we like... So?"
"Listen to me, boys! I want you to be careful and I mean really careful, both of you... and you must call every day! Am I clear?"
"Youpee!" shouted Jeremy.
"Then it's a deal?" stated Joel holding out his hand.
Jeremy answered, "It's a deal... and by the way, Mum, you've got to buy me a sleeping bag,"
Returning to Fort William, the back-seat passengers didn't stop jabbering about what to take... and what not to take on their outing: the food they liked, the pictures Joel wanted to take. A definite bond was in the making. Up front, Nelly's hand caressed the nape of Marcus's neck. It had been a lovely day!
They dropped Nelly and Jeremy off at their house.
"Want to go grab a fish and chips before going home?" suggested Marcus.
"Good thinking, Dad!"
They went into the café and claimed a booth overlooking the water, Marcus inquired, "So?"
"Jeremy's sort of special, but I think we're going to get along anyhow..."
"And Nelly?"
"I like Nelly a lot... I can understand that you fell in love with her. She's really smart too... that helps!"
"I'm glad you approve. Are you still girl-shy?"
"Let me mind that on my own, Dad... I can tend my love garden without your help. Maybe it's my destiny to be a playboy, a monk, a gay loner, or just a wandering photographer..."
"And why not a gay playboy monk photographer always wandering..."
"No future!"
"As you like, my Son!"
They downed their second pint, paid and left.
Back in their house, before climbing the stairs to his room, Joel said, "Thank you for the treat of meeting your new love."
"You'll always be my deepest love, Joel."
"I needed to hear that, Dad..."
They hugged for a long moment, shared a quick peck as usual, and retired.
When Joel came out of the shower, there was a message for him on his phone. He took a look. It was from Jeremy. He smiled as he admired their selfie. The text read: 'Glad we met'.
Joel texted back: 'Me too, a lot' with a big smiley.
In spite of the drizzle, a feeling of spring hovered in the air that Wednesday morning. Marcus drove Joel to pick up Jeremy at Nelly's house and go to the train station. Nelly was on the heels of her son as they walked down to the car, lecturing him to stay safe, stay warm, call at least every day, etc. When the boys saw each other, they beamed. Nelly finally was quiet as she and Marcus kissed.
"Good morning Jeremy, hope you don't mind being wet! The forecast is for showers..."
"April in the Highlands!" was all Jeremy replied as he put his bag in the car.
Nelly waved as if her son was leaving for the moon.
"I have a feeling that you're glad to be on your way, Jeremy," teased Marcus.
"You have no idea, Sir! I couldn't wait a minute longer."
The train left on time. Seated side by side, they really didn't know what to say to each other. They simply looked out the window as the little train swayed, lumbering along through some of Scotland's most beautiful scenery. At 9:53 on the dot the train screeched into Mallaig station. They ran across the street into the Co-op Food to fill up on supplies.
"There! I think we've got everything on our list. Do you want to splurge on a bottle of Glen Moray? It might be useful in case of a gale... Keep us warm!" suggested Joel as they were checking out at the till.
"We don't need a gale for that, do we?" giggled Jeremy.
They split the bill, put as much as they could in their backpacks and carried the rest in sacks down to the marina where Gaol was waiting for them.
They were strangely quiet as they opened the companionway door. Their silences together were never heavy. Jeremy put his things up front and unrolled his sleeping bag, assuming that he was to sleep there. Joel dumped his things in the aft cabin and began to stash the food.
"Let me finish that, Joel, while you prepare the sails. I'll be right back up."
Once the sails were in place Joel warmed the motor. The weather was a bit gusty and damp, but not too cold. Two happy young men cast off the lines. As soon as they cleared the breakwater, they hastily hoisted the sails. Gaol caught the wind, heeled and picked up speed. Joel turned off the motor. The wavelets splashed and hissed as they veered around on broad reach and clipped along, heading south by southeast.
Jeremy was standing at the mast, smiling in the wind, obviously the happiest lad on earth. Joel admired his youthful passenger, the delicate features of his smooth face, the damp locks of his bangs dancing on his forehead. He too was relaxed, excited, and very happy himself.
Jeremy smiled at Joel with admiration as he disappeared beneath. A few minutes later he came back up into the cockpit with a plate of sandwiches.
"The soup is heating on the burner... I'll be right back with the mugs," exclaimed Jeremy, perfectly at ease aboard.
"You're a great matey, Jeremy."
"And you're not a bad captain either!" he replied laughing.
As they finished their snack, little by little the Isle of Rum became clearer as they sped along. They spoke with few but pertinent words, always relying on a kind of telepathic intuition between each other.
It was close to half past two when they left the lee side of Skye on their starboard and entered the open waters. The winds picked up as white caps danced on the swell. Gaol leaned a bit more and began to gently pitch and roll.
Jeremy was even more excited. Joel gave him the tiller as he went to reduce the genoa and reef the mainsail. Jeremy steered with a master's hand, swerving on the top of the waves, avoiding the side splash as much as possible. He began singing like a lark. His soprano voice played with the harmonic hum of the wind in the riggings. It was magic. Joel looked at him, awestruck!
"I didn't know you could sing like that, Jeremy! That's awesome."
"I only sing well when I'm happy," he replied beaming.
Joel slid up beside Jeremy, still under the charm of his song. The lad knew all kinds of folk ballads from the seventies and his high pitched voice could be taken for that of a young boy or even a woman.
"Not only you're an ace with the wind, but also a talented folk singer at that. Gaol is loving your touch and I'm beginning to be jealous," joked Joel.
"If you teach me everything you know, I'll teach you how we can sing along together, you, tenor, and, me, treble. My grandmother taught me how to sing duets. My voice was higher than hers and when my voice began to change, she taught me how to keep it high. Grandmother called it 'falsetto'. Later on, our school choir master gave me lessons, but it was my grandmother who helped me the most in training my voice."
"I'm ready to learn, so now, let's sing!"
"Really?" replied Jeremy.
"Really!"
They both beamed as their eyes locked for a moment. Time no longer held them in its grip. They both felt that the instant they were living was something eternal.
"Listen, you sing this tune along with me..."
Jeremy taught Joel the lower voice of a duet and then sang the higher voice with him. It worked! They were singing as loud as they could when they fell under the lee of the Isle of Rum. The wind had eased up to a nice breeze. Joel quickly released the reefs in the mainsail and unfurled the genoa.
When he returned next to Jeremy, he asked, "Do you want me to take the tiller?"
"If you want; I've got to pee. Do you mind if it if I just piss overboard?"
"Of course not! Enjoy!"
When Jeremy returned, he sat opposite Joel, and leaned back. Then, with pensive eyes, he simply stated, "You're really lucky to have the father you have. I'm glad my Mum's in love with him. I really enjoy being around him... and around you too. I never knew what it was like having a man in my life. My grandfather had a heart attack when I was five. He was quite wealthy, happy, and carefree according to my grandmother. He left her with a very comfortable fortune which she hasn't yet dilapidated, even if she's an authentic survivor of the Hippy revolution and totally useless for work. You know the kind: a distinguished old lady in long skirts, Indian prints, and a cloud of marijuana floating around in her hair -- one hundred percent peace and love... free and willing... My Mum takes after her in many ways -- and not at all in others..."
Then he looked at Joel straight in the eyes, and added in a rather provocative manner, "I guess you know that I'm an illegitimate bastard."
Joel didn't lower his eyes. He simply replied, "Jeremy, the term 'bastard' doesn't sound worthy of you. You're too refined, too racy and too beautiful to call yourself a bastard. And you sing like an angel! Shit, man! I refuse to hear you say you're a bastard. Of course, I know about your family situation -- but never had given it a second thought -- so don't call yourself a 'bastard' ever again -- PLEASE!"
He immediately reacted, almost pleading, "But what can I say? If I say fatherless, it sounds like I just happened to have been conceived by a ghost or something -- like Jesus."
"I'm motherless and so what!"
"That's different. She's dead and she loved your father and you and... and even if I know he's out there somewhere, alive, I know he doesn't even know I exist. I'll never have a father to hug and to love, a father to protect and guide me..."
Interrupting, Joel shouted, "Whatever be the circumstances of you being conceived, you can't do a damn thing about it, so face the facts, Jeremy. Your mother and father loved each other at least for an instant, and since you talk about Jesus, maybe your -- your 'genitor' was an angel. From the way you sing and look, he had to be somebody very special."
As Joel spoke, tears swelled in Jeremy's eyes. He didn't even bother to turn his head nor wipe them. Joel suddenly felt a surge of compassion well from somewhere deep inside. He held out his hand as to invite Jeremy to come closer.
Jeremy rose and faintly smiled, uttering, "Can I hug you?"
Joel grabbed Jeremy's arm and yanked him over, making him fall in his lap.
"Of course you can!" he shouted as Jeremy held him tight, burying his face in the damp of Joel's neck.
Joel felt his young companion slowly release hold of a shadow that had been dimming his soul for way too long.
Sliding off of Joel, Jeremy blushed, saying, "I'm a bit embarassed. Thank you, Joel, for your care. I needed that hug."
"I know what you mean. I sort of needed it too..."
They passed the southern tip of Rum and began to tack upwind towards McLean Rock, then they veered onto port tack heading to the small Isle of Canna.
"We can anchor in Sanday bay for the night. The sky's clearing some. Maybe we'll have stars and a full moon just for us."
They eased into the bay. No other boat was anchored. The setting sun cast an array of colour under the scattering clouds.
"Okay, Jeremy! Release the anchor," shouted Joel as he furled the mainsail.
Jeremy took care of the genoa and joined Joel in the cockpit. They went down into the cabin. Joel poured them a shot of Glen Moray and together they toasted to a wonderful day!
As Jeremy called his mother, Joel uncorked a bottle of Chianti and began to prepare a spicy sauce for their spaghetti supper.
Fully satisfied with their abundant meal, they cleaned up the table, took the wine topside to top off the evening. Several lights could be seen on the island. The water was like a mirror. The stars rivalled with the rising full moon. The night was clear and full of promise. Jeremy sighed as he uttered, "I can't believe how beautiful all this is. The light, the air, the sailing we did, you..."
"And you too, Jeremy; are you always that... angelic?"
"Angelic? Hell no! I'm flesh and fire deep down inside!"
"Whatever, you're a great mate! Can we sing again the song you taught me?"
"Aye, aye, captain!"
They sang, laughed, toasted, and finished the wine.
"Joel, that was such a wonderful day! Can we hug again!"
"Why ask? Just do it!" he replied, opening his arms.
Expecting a quick brotherly hug, Jeremy squeezed Joel in his arms and then released him. Joel didn't release. Both of them sort of melted yielding to the energy flow between them. Jeremy nudged a little kiss in Joel's neck, making him melt even more. The fact that both their cocks were erecting didn't seem to bother them in the least. Instead they instinctively pressed them together ever so slightly, as if to let each other know how good they felt.
Slowly they separated and sat shoulder to shoulder in silence. Then placing his hand on Joel's knee, Jeremy whispered, looking into the glowing sky, "Joel, I'm not ashamed to tell you that you make me feel real! We never talk about what we feel in general and even less, if possible, about how we feel about each other."
"Jeremy, we're fine together... no need to talk about it."
"But, I need to talk about it. If I love and can't say I love, then I don't love all the way. It's like beauty. When I see something beautiful, I like to say to somebody, 'Look!' and if I can share the beauty I'm seeing, it becomes even more beautiful."
Joel looked over at Jeremy with a certain look of fear in his eyes, like a small animal sensing danger. Then he smiled, saying nothing.
"Joel?"
"Yes, Jeremy..."
"Would you mind if I told you that I like you a lot?"
Joel stared at Jeremy. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Jeremy was suddenly petrified. Had he gone too far? Was his frankness going to ruin everything?
Very slowly, Joel took the lad's delicate chin between his fingers, gently pulling him closer, and with quivering lips, kissed Jeremy's with infinite tenderness. Jeremy gasped.
"And, Jeremy, would you mind if we kissed again?" asked Joel.
"Good God in Heaven! NO! I wouldn't mind AT ALL!"
They kissed again and again. Joel had played around in his university life, exploring sex with girls and boys. It was fun... that was all. But what he was experiencing with Jeremy was something more. A deeper, stronger surge rushed back, like the turn of the tide, as his tongue danced with Jeremy's. His soul was touched. The action was familiar, but somehow, it was suddenly new. Their kisses were so full of meaning, so true, the feelings so deep, that he almost swooned. Those same kisses triggered Jeremy's virginal fervour. The discovery of passion overwhelmed him. He was all over Joel.
Joel gasped, then whispered, "Let's bathe each other now, and turn in. If you want, I'd be glad to share my berth with you. Would you mind?"
Jeremy broke out laughing!
"Not at all, Joel! I wouldn't mind AT ALL!"
That night the world changed for both. Once nude together under the covers, nature took over. They become soul-and-body-bonded lovers. Their caresses and kisses were musical, their embraces were warm. Their silken skin slid, moist with lust as they writhed, clawed, and clung together. Joel had the knowhow but had never understood the meaning. Now he was discovering a new virginity, setting their flesh afire with true, soul-melding love.
Jeremy shivered, quaked, and throbbed as Joel swallowed his perfect cock. Joel needed it. Jeremy did too. The dim moon-glow through the wee window lit their entwining bodies as they fed each other's thirst with their oozing lust, their love, the lightning of their orgasms hitting them at the same moment.
Satiated, they kept each other's cock in their mouths, gently nursing them back into action as they suckled and hummed. The sky was the same. Tiny wavelets continued to splash against the hull like distant children laughing.
What had changed? Nothing -- and everything.
In the chill of dawn, Joel didn't bother to dress when he slipped out of the bed. Jeremy barely moved in his deep sleep. Joel was still under the charm of what they had shared the night before. He felt no guilt, no remorse, no afterthoughts. It all happened so naturally as if they were meant to let happen what did.
Joel lit the heater and began preparing a good hearty breakfast. Jeremy's scent lingered on his skin even if there was no trace of semen. They had partaken of each other to the last drop. Joel smiled as he recalled the glow he felt inside, swallowing Jeremy's sweet semen.
Suddenly, Jeremy bolted out of the cabin and darted up on deck. Joel heard the steady stream of piss as it arched overboard, sparkling and gold in the morning sun. Shivering, Jeremy came back in and grabbed Joel from behind, kissing him in the nape of his neck.
"Good morning... that smells good!"
"Me or the sausage?"
"Both!"
Joel twisted himself around in Jeremy's embrace. They kissed, with their confused erections crossing.
"Hungry?" inquired Joel.
"Very hungry, for breakfast and then for you!"
"Breakfast first."
"That's what I said."
They laughed, ate, drank coffee and decided that they could take some quality time before raising anchor.
Indeed, they took their time. No haste, just tender loving led them to another massive orgasm together. Breathless, Joel let Jeremy's cock slide out from between his red lips. He rolled his head back on Jeremy's thigh. He admired the drop of semen gleaming in the corner of Jeremy's smile as he leaned over, giving him a long tender kiss.
Later, they leisurely washed each other in the warmth of the cabin. Joel admired Jeremy's lithe body as he bathed it. His unblemished skin glowed under the skylight. He savoured that magic moment, be it the beauty of the light, the texture and form of the flesh, the delicate curls of Jeremy's pits and pubic fluff. Then there was that peculiar, new sensation he couldn't define... "Maybe it's love," he said to himself, hardly understanding what he was slowly conceiving.
As for Jeremy, when it was his turn to bath his captain, he was almost methodical. He wiped, scrubbed, and caressed every crease and square inch of Joel's body. He paid special attention to the foreskin, making Joel cringe a little from the hypersensitivity of his glans. Jeremy apologised, smiled, and finished by bathing between the toes. He stepped back to admire his work. Joel felt like a Greek god being worshiped by a devoted ephebe.
"Let's get underway now! Don't you feel that the wind's back. Today, we'll have a perfect day under sail."
"With you, Joel, even a gale would be a perfect sail!"
"I love it when you flatter me, you beautiful rascal!"
Jeremy laughed as he pulled up his jeans, going commando, just for show.
Jeremy called the marine weather forecast number: steady westerly winds, force three. They trimmed the sails for a perfect broad reach. They hoisted the mainsail and flew a jib, billowing from the mobile bowsprit that Joel had installed before raising anchor. The breeze was such that they left without the motor!
Between them, they shared a form of mutual awareness. Their teaming was flawless. Gaol felt it. Perhaps because her name meant love, and that was what was happening.
They clipped along, sharing the tiller. Jeremy taught Joel another song. Then he made sandwiches and soup. Sailing to the edge of the world, just the two of them, enjoyed being themselves, free and alive and even a bit in love.
As the light danced on the surface of the waves, or beamed through the clouds, sometimes revealing a distant fragment of a sudden rainbow, Joel grabbed his camera. When he was taking pictures, Jeremy was impressed by Joel's concentration as if he could actually be absorbed by what he saw. Seeing Joel like that, as if he were suddenly entranced, Jeremy said nothing, daring not to pry into something so obviously private.
It was close to sunset when they dropped anchor in the Loch Ethama near Ariagourin on the Isle of Coll.
"The tide's rising enough for us to moor at the jetty and go dine in the Island Café if you want. They have very good fresh seafood, as I was told."
"I'm sure it would be better than the Spanish omelette I was planning on doing for us this evening. I'm always ready to eat out!" cheerfully sang out Jeremy.
They motored in and tied up. Jeremy rang up his mother as they changed clothes. Together, arm in arm, they strode up to the café.
"I feel a bit dizzy," stated Jeremy.
"You're land-sick! That happens after two days on a boat. I'm sort of off balance myself. Once inside, just hang on to your chair until you finish your first pint and everything will be fine," joked Joel as he wrapped his arm over Jeremy's shoulder.
The guffaws of laughter and loud talking hit them as they went through the door. They were greeted and placed at a table for two in the middle of the room.
As Jeremy was emptying his first pint, he exclaimed, "You're right, captain. No more swaying... and here come our plates!"
The waiter placed in front of them two mountainous servings of mixed fried seafood with peas and chips. Seconds of ale followed. Conversation was impossible because of the noise. The smiles they exchanged replaced all possible words. Some others noticed them, nodding as if to compliment their radiant good looks. They toasted as they finished their plates, totally full, and went to the bar to pay. The silence outside was as surprising as the noise inside was before. The tide was full when they stepped aboard.
"It's good to be back on Goal," stated Jeremy as they were untying the lines, "we'll be better at anchor."
"With some Glen Moray for a nightcap," added Joel.
That evening they decided to stay inside. Joel lit a candle on the table. Jeremy put two glasses and the bottle on the table. The glow of the flame through the amber whisky cast a wonderful pool of light of liquid gold on the white tabletop. Joel immediately took his camera and made several pictures.
When he had finished, Jeremy felt brave enough to ask, "I hope I'm not prying, but when you take pictures, like that, out of the blue, could you tell me what you see?"
Joel looked puzzled and then smiled at Jeremy, suddenly understanding the question.
"I told you. I'm photographing the light."
Jeremy thought a second or two and then replied, "I never thought about light being something... for me, it was just something that let us to see things."
"That's what most people think."
Joel poured them a glass each, settled down next to Jeremy in the cushions piled up on the bench and began to express his obsession with light.
"Photo and graph in Greek mean light and writing. Photography is writing with light. But what is light? It's the vital energy of the universe. Light created life in many ways. From feeding plants to spiritual elevation as well as so many other things, light is life and being life, it's also love. But light is invisible in itself. It needs to be revealed by something it illuminates. We can't look at the sun, but we can feel its presence. The gentle flame of this tiny candle creates a world for us at this very moment. It draws us together. In fact, light is more of an experience than something that can be described in words. For the mortals that we are, we need to experience darkness to understand light, just like we need to know loneliness in order to really feel the force of love. It's like we need to experience our body in order to reach the light of our soul. When we ejaculate -- in simpler terms, when we shoot off -- our cum is a kind of life-giving liquid light striking in our flesh. I don't know what else I can say."
"I could listen to you for hours, Joel. Even if I don't understand everything you tell me, what I do understand is so beautiful, so deep, so true that I feel a need inside. I'd love to learn your way of seeing thing, seeing the light in things, seeing the love in..."
"Finish your sentence..."
"Seeing, feeling the light of our love inside me."
Joel leaned over and kissed Jeremy, caressing his cheek. Jeremy melted. Joel then uttered, "I'm going to tell you a secret. This coming autumn, I want to sail up to somewhere like Norway and spend the winter photographing the aurora borealis. I want to live through the Arctic night until the return of dawn."
"Are you really going to sail that far?"
"Yes," declared Joel
"All by yourself?"
"All by myself... unless you want to come with me."
"Is that possible?" exclaimed Jeremy, hardly believing what he heard.
"Don't you remember what you said? When love's there, everything's possible. Love can take you everywhere..."
"Oh Good God, I love you, Joel!"
"I love you too, Jeremy. You're my light inside!"
"Then let's celebrate the Light with our light for and in each other."
Joel gasped and then replied, "Do you understand what you're saying?"
"I perfectly understand. I want you in me tonight, now. I want you to fill me with your light. I want to feel the strike of your lightning radiate inside me. Fuck me, please! I trust you were protected when you fucked before, weren't you, Joel?"
"Yes"
"I've never fucked nor been fucked. So we're free."
"But, aren't you afraid?"
"Yes, I'm afraid... but I don't care!"
Jeremy began to unbuckled Joel's trousers. Joel took over and in a flash they were both nude in the candlelight. Jeremy climbed up on the large open berth in the bow. Joel hovered over him, kissing him, licking him, nibbling him, forcing his tongue into the most intimate creases of his skin. He licked the sweat from around Jeremy's balls. Jeremy whimpered from impatience. His cock was drooling. Joel gathered Jeremy's precum with his tongue and spread it with his saliva around and into Jeremy's twitching anus. Jeremy writhed, breathless from lust. He pulled Joel over him, wrapped his legs around him, clawed his back. Joel slid out of Jeremy's hold and fetched the sun lotion stashed in the galley.
He returned to the berth. As if he were in worship, he knelt between Jeremy's sprawled legs. Both were glistening in sweat. Joel slathered his cock with the lotion and squirted some into Jeremy's anus. Then he pulled Jeremy up, pointed his glans, and slowly slid in.
Jeremy reeled, gasping, his mouth agape as Joel's cock easily found its home inside Jeremy's vibrant body. His entering seemed to never end as Jeremy's bowels actually sucked Joel in. Their breathing shortened; a deep growl rolled in Joel's throat like the distant thunder of an approaching storm. Jeremy whimpered as he began to sink into ecstasy. Their dance of melding was like waves of music as they pulled and pushed.
Gaol gently rocked on her anchor line.
The rhythm of their fucking accelerated. Then the beloved lightning struck inside both. Jeremy howled his orgasm as his cock spewed in sync with each squeezing blast of Joel's inside him. They arched together, trembling as they spasmed, clearly out of control. Then they collapsed, inert, panting.
Jeremy began to chuckle, then giggle. Joel laughed and then they both shouted, over and over, Hallelujah! Both were still totally erect.
"Joel, I saw the light you spoke about. It's still glowing in me. Is that what you call the light of love?"
"To know, I need you in me too."
"The night is young and so are we!" he mumbled.
The light proved to be the same for both.
The following morning, they knew that their lives were entwined, that their love was real, and that their flesh was love and light embodied.
On their way back to Mallaig, they spoke about their future trip into the northern lights, the endless winter night, the Arctic dawn.
Oblivious to any possible obstacle, they were certain that they were meant to make the voyage. The Arctic night and their cosmic ritual of liquid light, would be their communion in the flesh of love, celebrating the light of life with their own Light of Love.
Before arriving in Mallaig harbour in the sunset, they called home, tied up at their berth in the marina, and ate enough to carry them over to breakfast. They stripped and climbed in bed having decided to sleep late and be as lovingly lazy as possible the next morning. Then they would indulge in a restaurant lunch, clean up the boat, refill the water and fuel, and take the 4:19 PM train to Fort William.
Nelly and Marcus waited for them at the station.
"You two really look like a pair of happy sailors!" exclaimed Nelly.
Marcus gave them each a big hug and asked, "How did it go? Did you get along well?"
Joel replied, "We understand and appreciate each other perfectly now."
Jeremy nodded, adding, "Joel just said it all..."
Nelly announced, "Tonight we're having dinner at my house. I think you boys could enjoy a good shower and unpack. Come on home Jeremy. Marcus, Joel, see you around six!"
Marcus put his arm around Joel's shoulders as they walked back home.
"I've not seen you so open and at ease for a long time, Son. It must have been a great cruise."
"Give me some time, Dad. Right now, I can't find the right words... if they exist."
During the dinner, Marcus and Nelly informed their sons that they were planning on getting married in July. Neither Jeremy nor Joel seemed surprised.
"We hope you approve..." uttered Nelly, looking a bit worried at their mute reaction.
As she took a sip of her wine, Joel looked at Jeremy, smiling. Then calmly looked at Nelly, saying, "I would like to ask my future stepmother for the hand of her son in marriage too -- that is, if he agrees."
Jeremy screamed, throwing himself on Joel, "Oh, YES, for God's sake, KISS ME!"
"That means he accepts your proposal, Son!"
Nelly just sat there stunned. Then she looked over at Marcus with pleading eyes. Marcus shrugged, smiled, and tilted his head.
Jeremy finally calmed back down and declared, "We can have a joint wedding ceremony. Grandmother is going to love this!"
"But you two, married, gay and everything. That is really too much, too complicated for me..." uttered Nelly.
Marcus spoke, "Darling, in fact it's not complicated at all. Our boys are in love. We can't do anything about it. We are in love like them, and they can't do anything about it. So let's just go with the flow..."
"But we were in love first!"
"Listen, Mum! If you're afraid of us stealing the only marriage in your life, we can postpone ours," teasingly suggested Jeremy.
"Shut up! That's not the problem..." barked Nelly...
And Jeremy barked back, "What IS the problem, Mum?"
There was a long immobile silence while the three men stared steadfast at her. She looked at each one and began to giggle.
Marcus repeated, "Nelly, your son asked you a question. What IS the problem?"
Then she began to laugh out loud, raised her arms to the sky and declared, "I don't know where there's a problem! In fact, there is no problem!"
All four broke out laughing and raised their glasses.
After dessert, they retired to the living room. Marcus asked the boys.
"And, where do you plan on living?"
"On the boat, Dad! We want to finish our studies with flying colours and then, if you could help us financially, we'd like take a winter long honeymoon to the Arctic Circle, probably in Norway, and live the experience of the northern lights with the return of the sun in the spring. We'll write, take pictures and see what life has in store for us up there."
"As for your honeymoon, we'll talk about that later. For the time being, I want you to concentrate on finishing school, getting married with us and by then we'll know how your expedition can be handled."
Nelly interrupted, "But, Jeremy, I thought you wanted to go to college..."
"I want to learn with Joel. He's willing to share with me all he knows... and that's a lot! His philosophy of light is awesome! That's better than any college education... and less expensive!" assuredly replied Jeremy.
With that, Marcus gave his son an inquisitive glance and said, "Your philosophy of light?"
"Yes, Dad... we've got another week before the holidays are over. We'll talk about that later..."
"You're right, now's the time to celebrate... By the way, where are you two going to sleep tonight?"
"We were thinking about sleeping in my room, Dad. Jeremy's single bed is too small for the two of us."
"There's room in my bed tonight, if you want Marcus," smiled Nelly as she put a bottle of rare whisky on the table.
Jeremy's chin dropped as she said, "Men, how about some serious drinking!"
"Mum..." mumbled Jeremy, completely dumbfounded by his mother's sudden informal behaviour.
"My loving young son, it's time you shut up, relax and enjoy! You've got your life... I've got mine! I love you!"
Marcus was impressed by his son's thoughts about light and his recent photos were objectively outstanding.
The day before Joel took the bus back to Inverness, Marcus had Nelly and Jeremy over for lunch and gave them his opinion on their idea of an expedition. He observed that Gaol was not suitable for Arctic winters.
"Just in case, you still want to get married and actually want to go on your arctic honeymoon, I've explored the market and found a boat which I consider more appropriate for the both of you. She's more comfortable, in wood, with a good stove and a powerful motor. The broker claims he can guarantee that she's sound and in perfect condition. He also says that he can get a good price for Gaol. So listen to what I'm going to say. Jeremy, you go up to Inverness with Joel Friday. You can be back Sunday evening for school the next day. I'm sure you and Joel can squeeze into his student bed. You have an appointment with the broker's agent Saturday morning at ten. You both go to inspect the sloop. You give her a thorough look-over, and ask every question that comes to mind. If she's suitable for you, I'll take out an option for them to hold her until you're married."
Nelly spoke up, "And let me add, that your grandmother plans to contribute to the purchase in case the sale of Gaol isn't enough."
Jeremy was again completely taken off guard.
Nelly continued, "Marcus and I have done a lot of talking and your grandmother said she always wanted a gypsy in the family. So, deep down inside, I'm extremely proud of you both... and... and what the hell! I need a hug."
Joel and Marcus also had tears in their eyes as they witnessed the ones they love, expressing with such open simplicity their unconditional love for each other.
Jeremy joined Joel on the bus to Inverness Friday evening. Saturday morning at ten they arrived right on time at the boat yard. The agent was there. As they were walking over to where the sloop awaited them, the agent explained that the boat was a Friendship Sloop, custom built in Maine and launched in 1996. Her owners sailed her to Scotland, via the Azores, in 2008. She was sold to a rich business man from Edinburgh who kept her in Inverness. He didn't have time to go sailing as much as he wanted and put her up for sale.
"There she is!" he proudly stated as they approached. She was on land, in her cradle with a brand new antifouling paint job under the waterline, her bronze propeller gleaming in the morning sun.
They took their time to check out the boat from mast to keel. They climbed aboard to discover a very sober interior, all in acacia and ash paneling. A small enameled coal stove could heat the entire boat. A hand pump stood beside the copper water basin in the galley. Copper oil lamps doubled the electric lights inside. The boat gave a welcoming, no-nonsense feeling from the start. The main cabin was in the bow, and aft, there were walk-in storage spaces on either side of the companionway. The galley was simple and well equipped. The navigation desk had all the latest electronics. They asked about an autopilot connected to a GPS navigation system and were assured that it could be immediately installed. She had all the safety devices necessary for off shore sailing. She was a perfect compromise between classic boating and contemporary commodities. There was ample room for two in live-aboard conditions. However, Joel pointed out that there was a good month's job of thoroughly cleaning, sanding and revarnishing the inside woodwork and polishing the copper. He had the art of pointing out all kinds of little flaws here and there, which lowered the asking price. At any rate, she was a very sound boat, with a totally rehauled motor and above all, she was a pure marvel to behold!
They made their report to Marcus who took over the deal. All in all, she was an affordable investment and the perfect home for the future newlyweds, now more determined than ever to get married and go.
Time fled. School was over. Both Jeremy and Joel graduated with flying colours. The men wore kilts for the wedding and both Nelly and her mother wore flaming red dresses.
The civil ceremony was held in the Fort William registration office with Jeremy's grandmother as sole witness. She behaved like a lady during the ceremony, but at the luncheon, she entertained the whole restaurant with her guitar and folk songs from the seventies. Jeremy and Joel sang along with her, much to the surprise of everybody. As the party went on, she winked at the boys and said, "I love singing with you, but don't you have something more important to do as newlyweds now?"
"I think you're right... but..."
"Don't worry about me. I've found somebody to get me back on the train to Glasgow, now run along, tear up the bed, and have fun!"
As their wedding gift, Marcus and Nelly promised their sons a monthly allowance for the following four years pretexting that it replaced their college expenses.
Once the papers for Gaol II were signed, and the navigation electronics installed, Joel and Jeremy sailed her down the Caledonian Canal and moored her in Ballachulish the time to do the inside refurbishing.
Their departure required a very detailed planning which they handled quite well. Two months later with all the insurances paid, the banking taken care of, the passports issued, the arctic clothing bought, the supplies and coal loaded, etc., they hoisted the sails.
They made stopovers in the Orkneys, then the Shetlands, and a layover in Bergen, Norway. The sea was often suave and friendly. But twice they faced some really wicked weather and sang through it suffering no harm. A month later, they were moored in the heart of the Lofotens, Svolvaer.
As they were buying groceries, a young fellow came up and asked, "Is that a Scottish accent I hear?"
"It certainly is," replied Joel, smiling.
They struck up conversation. The stranger introduced himself saying he was English, but had grown up in France. He went by the name of Tristan Ramsay. Jeremy and Joel introduced themselves saying that they were from Fort William in the Highlands and that they were each other's husband.
Tristan laughed saying, "I've got a husband too and we live over on Stormolla, a neighbouring island close by. Are you here on holidays?"
"Not exactly. We live on a boat, the small Friendship sloop tied up at the visitor's pier. We're looking for a protected place to spend the winter, without too much street lights in order to photograph the aurora borealis."
"You mean the Gaol II? We noticed her coming in. Splendid boat. She had to belong to some very special people! You could come to Brettesnes. It's the small harbour on the south of our island, not far from our house -- oh, here comes my husband, Gabriel..."
Both Jeremy and Joel were immediately struck by Gabriel's pale blue eyes and gentle smile. Tristan introduced him and explained, "These two young Scotts live aboard the Goal II and are looking for a mooring for the winter. I told them that they should come to our place."
Gabriel looked at them, nodded, and said, "Yes, Brettenes sounds like a good idea. Our long winter night can sometimes seem endless... You two glow!" stated Gabriel.
Joel was surprised over Gabriel comment on light. Jeremy just beamed.
Tristan added, "Once you're in Brettenes, just ask anybody how to find us and they'll put you on the right path."
"Can you give us a phone number?" inquired Jeremy.
"Phones don't work where we live... If you tie up in Brettenes, tell the fellow at the pier that Gabriel sent you."
Two days later, stocked with food and coal for at least six weeks, they were in Brettenes, and like Tristan said, they were given a royal welcome, and the mooring was for free!
They found their way to Tristan's and Gabriel's home. When Jeremy saw Gabriel's harp in the corner of the room he asked what kind of music he played.
"Sing me a theme and I'll take it from there..."
Jeremy smiled and began to sing 'Pur ti miro' the duo from Monteverdi's Coronation of Poppea. Joel joined him. Gabriel's harp immediately blended with their voices, giving them more colour, a deeper vibrance. Tristan grabbed his flute and, echoing Jeremy's treble, created a quartet. From that moment on, they were bonded as if by magic.
As the days became weeks, Joel and Jeremy took turns with Gabriel and Tristan going over to Svolvaer for shopping. They were introduced to other islanders and were immediately accepted by most. Twice a week they indulged in a good sauna, followed by fresh fish for dinner with chips and beer galore. They explored many musical horizons and they even began to work on a programme for a little concert in Svolvaer.
During the Easter holidays, one year after their sons had met for the first time, Marcus and Nelly flew over to Svolvaer. Joel and Jeremy met them at the airport and sailed them to Brettenes where they had reserved for their week long visit a room in the only, but comfortable, little guest house in the village.
The quality of life their sons had found impressed their parents. Tristan and Gabriel made a very positive impression on them. Marcus bought a little bronze statuette of Freyr that Tristan had cast, and when they played some of the music they were working on for their future concert, Nelly wept, overwhelmed not only by their talent, but above all by the sensitivity of their interpretations.
Nelly and Marcus were conquered by the quality of Joel's pictures and Jeremy's texts. Joel informed them that after the series dedicated to the aurora borealis, they planned to work on the magic of the midnight sun and create a book. However, he added, "We don't know how to find a publisher."
"Let me take care of that," declared Nelly and, of course, they accepted.
Brettenes on Stormolla Island became their home port. All that happened to them happened as if it was simply meant to be... and of course, it actually was.
The mystery of light is infinite, just like open-handed, authentic love. Jeremy's first line in the preface of their book went like this: We simply followed the light that shines for all but seen by few...
(See "Gabriel's Island", May 23, 2018 in the Gay/Beginnings section of Nifty's archives)
A free picture album illustrating this story (pdf) is available upon request at maringiustinian@gmail.com