Hello everyone! I'm still here, back for another chapter. I hope you're still out there!
For everyone that has asked, yes, I know there was very little JC/Burke interaction in the last chapter. Just to ease your minds, they are still together. Chapter 16 was a transition piece, the story moving from life in Orlando to life on the road. Things will pick up with that storyline, I promise.
Before I get on with this chapter, I'd like to take the time to offer my condolences to Josh, author of Graduation Present. He recently lost a loved one. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Josh.
Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of NSYNC, anyone affiliated with them, or any other celebrities that may appear here. This is a work of fiction, so any mention of sexual orientations/habits or personalities are made up by me! If you are offended by stories about relationships between men, or are too young to legally read such things, please leave.
A Light in the Tunnel
Chapter 17
Burke bounded up the step of the bus, amazed at what unfolded before his eyes. He waited, impatiently, for his friends to climb aboard, hoping for a grand tour. Justin introduced George, one of the drivers, and Burke politely shook the man's hand. The layout was simple as they made their way further in, the guys not paying attention to Burke's gawking. He wanted to see everything. "Give me your backpack, and somebody will show you around, son." He obeyed instantly, an expectant smile on his lips.
Justin led him back to the front, and slowly walked him through everything, finding great amusement in the wondrous gleam in his young friend's eyes. A table with bench seats sat underneath a row of tinted windows, big enough for all of them to sit at comfortably. Across a narrow aisle was a kitchenette, complete with sink, mini-fridge, microwave, and cabinets. Next came a bank of cave-like bunks on each side of the hall. Burke was amazed to find a small TV, DVD player, and radio in each one. Along the floor were drawers for clothes, and thin closets were at the end. From there, through a door that could be curtained off, was the heart of the bus, the lounge. It was relatively spacious, with a large entertainment center and a long U-shaped couch. Totally enclosed in one corner was a bathroom. Remembering how they were when they first started using the bus for tours, everyone answered Burke's many questions, taking the time to explain everything he wondered about. Burke cheered as the bus started rolling, even getting George to honk the horn as they pulled out of the stadium parking lot.
"So, what do you think?" Joey asked once they had gotten settled in the lounge. "Ready to run away and stay with mom or Lynn?"
"No way! It's a little small than I thought it would be, but it isn't cramped."
Lance smirked. "That's what you're saying now. You'll be singing a different song after we've been living on top of each other for two months." Burke shook his head, unable to fathom Lance's point. These were his idols, friends, and family. He couldn't picture getting tired of seeing them all the time.
"There's only one thing I would change if it were up to me," he announced.
"What's that? Getting a different bed so you'd be closer to Jayce?" Justin giggled, all of them already having a laugh over Chris maneuvering his son and Josh into beds away from each other.
"No. I'd change the décor. It's nice and everything, but it's a little bland, not very like you all."
"I know. We've said something to home base, but this is the way it came."
"It's just a shame. You have to spend so much time on here. It should be a little more like home or something."
Burke went to unpack some of his things, Joe helping him hang up his map of the country so he could track their trip. He paused for a minute to look out the windows, the world outside dark as they sped down the highway. "We're going to Atlanta, right?"
"Yeah. We should pull in there sometime in the morning. We'll go to our interviews and stuff, and you have school." Burke didn't even pout over that fact, his father already telling him it didn't do any good to argue about taking time off from classes to help with anything.
Burke pushed the curtain back and rolled out of his bed, taking a moment to let his sleepy legs get used to standing on the moving bus. Making his way to the bathroom, he was happy he had taken the time to practice making the trip with his eyes closed, not running into anything in the darkness. Now pretty much awake, he stooped to read the clock on the lounge's DVD player. It was three in the morning. Burke crept to the small padded bench beneath the back window, and sat, staring out into the darkness. He knew the word agoraphobia, but had never truly understood the fear until then as he watched mile after mile of empty road swallowed by the dark cloud of night. He suddenly felt very insignificant and alone. His only company was the rumbling of the bus' engine and Joey's snoring. Burke thought, at that moment, that it was possible no other world existed outside the metal walls of the bus, and was terrified of what that implied. The backs of sign posts streamed by and meant nothing, no one there to see them. Was it possible humanity had ceased to exist, that there was nothing more than lonesome night? He trembled, his mind reeling. "The people are still there," a voice whispered, cutting through the silence. Startle, Burke spun, seeing Josh standing in the doorway. "Justin used to worry about it when he was younger and too exhausted to sleep, but I promise they're still there." He crossed the room, and slumped down next to Burke. "You ok?" "Yeah. I just let my imagination get the best of me. What are you doing up?" "I needed a drink, and noticed your curtain open, so I came to check on you. Are you sure everything is alright?" Burke nodded, trying not to look out the window, afraid those scary thoughts would creep back into his head. "OK, ready to go back to bed?" "You go ahead, Josh. I'll be fine. I just can't sleep." "Come here." Josh took his hand and guided him to the couch. Shuffling around a bit, Burke laid down between Josh's splayed legs, his head falling on the man's chest. Somehow a blanket was pulled over them, as arms snaked around Burke. "Just lay here and rest. It'll be morning before you know it." Between the warmth of his body, the thumping heart in his ear, and the gentle petting on his shoulder, Burke felt his eyelids become heavy and start to close. "Sweet dreams, Burke." "Night, Josh," he yawned in reply. The last thing he remembered before dozing off was a soft kiss to the top of his head. "Love you, Burke," Josh whispered as he drifted to sleep, squeezing Burke closer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A click and giggles woke Burke from his dreams. When his eyes finally focused, he saw Justin and Joe hovering over him, a camera in the younger's hands. "Good morning, little man!" Joey half sung, a wide smile on his face. "Sleep well?" "I was until you two woke me up," he growled, sitting up. "What were you doing?" "Just taking a picture of the cutest thing I've ever seen," Justin snickered, handing the camera to Burke. He looked at the view screen and saw a snapshot of he and Josh snuggled together. "Isn't it sweet?" "Leave me alone. I couldn't sleep last night, so Josh cuddled with me until I could. He was being nice to me, nicer than you're being now." "Sounds like someone needs their coffee. Lance has a pot brewing up front." Burke stood up, stretching, then pulled the blanket back over his boyfriend. Walking to the table, he noticed his father giving him an amused glare. "Don't start, dad. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be awake." Burke poured himself a cup of coffee and sat next to Chris, laying his chin on his shoulder. "By the way, good morning." "Morning, Burkey boy. And before you start worrying about it, no, you're not in trouble. I know what it's like trying to sleep in a new place, especially one that makes as much noise as the bus." "About half an hour until we get to the arena," Lance announced, clicking his cell phone off. "Security has a van waiting to take us to the radio station once we get cleaned up. Amelia has already snagged a room so you can have class, Burke. She said to bring your anatomy and Shakespeare books with you." Josh came staggering out of the lounge as the bus parked, rubbing his drowsy eyes. "We're going to take our showers inside," Chris explained as everyone grabbed a small bag of clothes. Burke followed behind, waving to people he had met the night before as they prepared for that evening's show. Everyone was quiet as the waited for their turn to wash up, no one awake enough to have much of a conversation. Feeling refreshed, Burke hugged his friends goodbye as they left to do their jobs. "We'll be back around lunch time. If you can't find catering, just ask someone and they'll show you. OK?" "Yeah, dad. You all have fun. See ya later." Following Warren, Burke found his tutor ready for the day's lessons. The morning passed quickly, Burke getting his work done faster than usual. He wanted his afternoon off to go exploring, wondering if he would be sent back to the bus after lunch. The food at catering services wasn't all that filling, but it was nutritious and tasted good. Afterwards, his tame tag displayed proudly, he wandered around, looking at the bustling all around him. The opening acts were having sound checks, dancers were going through their routines, and mixers were up in their booths, messing with the boards. It was a wholly functioning world, everyone having something to do and doing it without question. "Hey you!" someone shouted from behind a panel of electronics controls. "You doing anything?" Burke looked around, finally realizing the man was talking to him. "No, not really." "Good. I'm sort of busy right now, and I missed lunch. Do you think you could run and grab me a sandwich or something?" Burke nodded and dashed off. Returning with a plastic wrapped sandwich, the man smiled. "Thanks a lot. You're Chris' boy, right?" "Yeah. Burke." "Nice to meet you, Burke. And thanks for the food. I'm Jake, by the way." "You're welcome Jake. I was just walking around, checking things out." That one little task led to another, one of the stagehands forgetting a tool and asking Burke to fetch it. He did so gladly, happy to be doing something useful. The rest of the afternoon was spent running errands for people who couldn't walk away from their stations. At one point, one of the rigging guys, a slender man in his forties, stopped Burke and gave him a black t-shirt. "What's this?" "You've been a major help here today. The first couple days of a tour a full of snags until everyone gets used to everything. You've kept us from wasting a bunch of time. Go ahead, look at it." Burke unfolded the shirt. The NSYNC logo was on the front, with the word staff underneath. Flipping it over, he saw that someone had taken yellow tape and made the words MASTER HELPER. Giggling, Burke pulled it on. "Thanks!" "Just a little thank you from the crew to let you know we appreciate the help." Smiling, Burke went on his way. "What in the world are you wearing?" Joey cackled as Burke ran out to meet them. "Since when are you a staff member?" "Since everyone made me an honorary member," Burke laughed. He spun around to let them read the back. "This kid has been a lifesaver," a woman in the lighting department said as she carried a box of wires past the group. Crossing the stage, a voice called out from high in the rafters. "Burke!" "Yeah?" he hollered up. One of the flying harnesses came floating to the ground. "Could you grab a spool of black rope and attach it to that?" "Sure thing!" The boy expertly snapped the plastic bobbin to the harness and sent it skyward. "Hmm," Lance mused, "I guess you have been helping out around here. What all have you done?" Pleased, Burke told them all of the chores he had helped with while they were out doing interviews. Chris patted his son on the back. "I guess I don't have to worry about you getting into any trouble. Just as long as you don't start going after my job!" "We have time to go catch an early dinner. What do you all want?" No one was surprised to hear Joey making plans for eating. After a humorous debate, they decided on Mexican, and left the arena, a van of guards following behind. They were quickly shown to a corner table, away from the rest of the restaurant patrons. As a waitress came to take their drink orders, Burke frowned. "What's wrong, bro?" "Security is just standing over there. Why aren't they sitting with us and eating too." "They're on the clock, little man." "So? They can be threatening while sitting down and stuffing their faces with burritos." "That's not the way it works, Burke." Snorting, Burke got up, walked across the room, and stood next to the guards, his arms folded across his chest. "What are you doing, son?" "It's not polite to sit there and eat if these guys don't get any. So I'm not eating either." Lance sighed. "Guys, you are more than welcome to join us." "We're fine," Lonnie answered. "Go enjoy your meal, kid." "No. There's no reason why you can't sit down too. I can hear your stomach rumbling, so I know you're hungry. Please, Lonnie? I won't be able to eat unless I know you are too, and I might die if I don't. You see how skinny I am already. And it would be all your fault because you wouldn't." "Is he always this much of a pest?" the massive man asked. "Not usually, but he has his moments. You might as well come over here or he won't stop." "Lance is right. I'll keep bugging you." With a grunt, the men made their way over to the table next to the singers'. "I win! I win!" Burke cheered, going back to his seat. Lonnie shook his head, and ordered his meal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Burke hadn't been in the green room yet, but nearly shrieked when he stepped through the door. It was exactly the same as the one in Orlando, every chair, bowl, and lamp in the same place. The whole scene bothered him for some reason. That feeling quickly passed when he remembered something he had read in one of his books. The guys spent so much time in different places that they had started requesting certain things, like the green room, be duplicated from site to site. It gave them a sense of normalcy. Relaxing on one of the couches, he started reading his textbook, not wanting to give his father an excuse to get onto him. Try as he might to get into the functions of the gall bladder, Burke found himself thinking about the bus. It was literally their home away from home, spending as much time on it as off. There had to be something that could be done to make it more comfortable, to turn it from a sterile tour bus into a house on wheels. He started jotting ideas in his notebook, the vague start of a plan forming. Johnny came in a few minutes later, sitting next to Burke. "Mind if I ask you a couple of questions?" "Sure. What do you want to know?" "I'm filling out a form for insurance since you are going to be around the stage and everything. I just want to be on the safe side in case something happens." Burke nodded, and patiently answered all the questions, watching the manager write everything down. "Alright. Thanks a lot Burke." "You're welcome, Johnny." "I heard dinner tonight was interesting." Burke blushed, and told the story of how he refused to eat until security did too. "I'm surprised Lonnie caved like that! He's usually pretty tough about those things." "I was going to pester him until he gave up. I think he was saving himself from a headache!" The guys, still hyped up on adrenaline, came through the doors, collapsing with giddy cackles. "Great job tonight, guys," Johnny beamed. "Eww! You stink, dad! Go take a shower!" Chris darted for the bathroom. "You heard him. I get first shower!" Everyone else groaned, warning him about using all the hot water. "What's this, Burke?" Lance asked, picking up the notebook. He snatched it away. "Just some stuff I was thinking about. Random thoughts and everything. Umm, can I talk to you for a minute, Johnny? In private?" They all shared confused glances as Burke and their manager went into the hall. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Burke quickly fell into a routine as the tour rolled through Nashville, Raleigh, and Montgomery. He got up every morning, ate a light breakfast, then went off to classes for the morning. At lunch he ate with his family, then spent the afternoon either sight seeing or helping the crew, always wearing his makeshift staff shirt. If the guys had free time, they always went out, sometimes taking in a movie at a local theater or shopping at the first mall they could find. Many times they stopped at a park and played some basketball, Justin intent on teaching Burke every nuance of the game. He was having the time of his life, traveling the country. Burke loved waking up each morning to the smiling faces of the people he loved so much, and going to sleep hearing their voices wishing him good dreams. Four shows later, he still found something new at each performance, never tiring of hearing NSYNC sing or watching them dance. He had begun keeping a scrapbook, filling it with pictures and newspaper clippings from each city. The tour, so far, was a complete success, every venue sold out with thousands of cheering, screaming fans. As much as he loved the bus, Burke was looking forward to the concert in Washington D.C. There were two shows, so they would be staying overnight in a hotel. Rarely having the opportunity to travel, he wondered what kind of place they would stay at. He figured it would be nice. The best part was that Josh's family was going to be there. Burke liked the Chasez's, especially Tyler. They talked once in a while, always firing barbs back and forth. Karen had already demanded some of his Saturday morning, planning a shopping trip for the two of them. "Thank God!" Justin sighed as the stepped into the hotel elevator. "A real bed for two whole nights!" "We've got a suite," Lance said, the one, as usual, with all the information. "Bags should be brought up in about ten minutes. Don't run off before then." "Yes, Lansten," Joey snickered, yelping when he was hit upside the head. "Oh wow! A balcony! Dad, look!" "I see that, Burke. Just don't expect me to go out there." "Where's everyone sleeping?" Josh poked his head into one of the rooms. "I'm taking this one. No windows." "Burke and I are together," Justin whooped. "We're having a scary movie night!" The youngest men in the room high-fived each other, diving into a conversation on who was scarier, Freddie or Jason. The front door to the suite swung open, a luggage art piled high with bags being pushed in. Lance tipped the bellboy, and commanded everyone to grab their stuff. Richard came in soon after, and gave them the schedules for the next two days. They would have a special appearance at a children's hospital later that morning, then lunch, followed by a newspaper interview, dance rehearsal, sound checks, dinner, meet and greet, and concert. Saturday morning would be a photo shoot, then free time until six. They would leave for Ohio at six o'clock Sunday morning. Burke, earning rolled eyes from Joey, logged the schedule in his scrapbook. "Oh, one more thing. Chris, Johnny faxed this to me, and asked that I give it to you." Richard passed over a manila envelope. "Thanks, Rich. Tell Johnny thank you for working so hard on this. I really appreciate it." "Is that your special project?" Burke asked, curious about the secret Chris was keeping. The man nodded. "Are you gonna tell me what it is yet?" "Not yet. Maybe later. Maybe never if you keep being nosy," he laughed. While everyone was out doing something else, Burke took full advantage of the hotel's swimming pool, dragging Warren to the basement level. The cavernous room echoes with laughter when he started to beg the guard to go swimming too. Warren finally relented, diving into the heated water. "You know," Burke panted after doing a few laps, "you aren't too bad." "I wish I could say the same about you," Warren smirked. "Hey! Be nice to me! You don't really mind having to stick around here, do you?" "No, not that it matters. It's my job to watch you. After some of the people I've worked with, I have to admit that this is one of the easier assignments." He looked away as if he had confessed a sin. "Don't worry," Burke grinned, "I won't tell anyone that you actually like me! I'll pretend that we hate each other. That way your reputation won't be tarnished!" "You're a brat. You know that, don't you?" Burke splashed the man, and was instantly forced under the water. "I give, you freak of nature!" Burke sputtered, laughing as he coughed on the chlorinated water. "One of these days I'm going to get you for that!" "Uh huh. You better keep eating your Wheaties."Burke didn't say anything when no one else joined he and Chris for dinner. Even Darius, his father's guard, sat away from them. He noticed Chris carrying the envelope from Johnny, and guessed it had something to do with the unusual arrangement. When they had left, everyone else just hugged him and said to have a good time.
The restaurant was classy and quiet. They were taken to a small table and ordered their meals. Chris made small talk while they sat there, asking Burke about his day, school, and his thoughts on the tour so far. There was obviously something going on, and guessing about it made Burke nervous. He assumed it was nothing terrible. Chris' face showed emotions too well for him to hide that. But why was he being so secretive? What was in the envelope that required them to be virtually alone?
"Burke," Chris said, his face becoming somber, after the waiter had taken the dessert dishes away, "I have something I want to talk to you about."
This was the moment he had been anticipating and dreading throughout their meal. Burke tried to stay calm. "Sure, dad. What's up?"
"You're happy here, aren't you? With me and the guys?"
"How can you even ask that? You all are my heroes. When I hurt so bad I wanted to die, it was your music that made everything bearable. When I tried to, you know, kill myself, I was thinking about the afternoon in the park, when you all surprised me. It was a happy thought or something. And then you asked me to come live with you. Since then, I've been happier than I could ever imagine. I love you all."
"We love you too, son. I know you never really knew your father, so I've tried to make up for all that time. You know, be a good role model and everything. I don't know if I've done it or not, but I know, in my heart, this is the way things are supposed to be. You are supposed to be here with me. I just wish the way you got here was less painful." Chris sighed, thinking about everything his son had been through. "When your mother took you, I was scared. I've never been more scared in my entire life. I didn't really know where you were or what was going on. All I could think about was getting you back, and once I did, how to keep you safe from then on."
"I was scared too, dad. I didn't want to go anywhere with her because I knew things would go back to the way they were. I don't want to die, not like that."
"As soon as I knew you were ok, I started thinking about other things. Like what it would be like if you weren't here. That was a nightmare, Burke, a nightmare. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it now. I meant it when I said I feel like you are supposed to be here. It's like God has been preparing me for you. I took care of Justin and Lance when they were younger, learning how to handle teenager issues. And I've got this great job that lets me take care of you the way you deserve to be. I've always known I wanted to be a father, and now I am, and that makes me so happy." Chris reached across the table and gathered Burke's hands in his own. "I love you, Burkey boy. For better or worse, I want you to be part of my family forever."
Burke wiped his eyes with a napkin. "I love you too, dad. I always imagined a real, loving family, and now I have one."
Chris slowly opened the envelope and scanned the front page. "I had Johnny fill this out for me after the kidnapping. It's not legal or anything, more like a symbol of everything I'm promising to you." He passed the thin stack of papers across the table.
Burke wept softly as he read the form, understanding, almost immediately what it was. He looked up to see Chris crying as well, a brilliant smile on his face. "Oh, dad," he sobbed, "I love you. Thank you so much!"
Oops, I did it again! Happy cliffhanger, people! Happy cliffhanger! ROFLMAO Here, just to make you all happy, I'll smack myself *whap whap* OUCH! OK, too much coffee today! As always, I love hearing your thoughts and opinions. You can reach me at cameronwriter@hotmail.com I'll even apologize for that terrible tool of prose: the cliffhanger Always, Cameron