Hello everyone! I'm not going to waste your time by rambling on and on about nonsense since we all know you are more interested in this chapter than in anything I could fill space with. Unless, of course, you are searching for some unique insight into me as a person. But then you probably won't find that here since I like to keep such things private. LOL Ok, I'll stop joking around and get to work here!
Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of NSYNC, anyone affiliated with them, or any other celebrities that may appear here. This is a work of fiction, so any mention of sexual orientations/habits or personalities are made up by me! If you are offended by stories about relationships between men, or are too young to legally read such things, please leave.
A Light in the Tunnel
Chapter 23
The sun was finally able to make an appearance, though they reached Midtown Manhattan at four in the morning. The sky, however, showed the promise of a wonderful day, a trillion stars glittering, unhidden by even wisps of high clouds. The rain that had plagued the entire New England area had moved off the coast, leaving pleasant weather in its wake. Lance was the only person, besides their bus driver, up at that ungodly hour, still amazed, after all the years they had been coming to the city, at all the people walking the nighttime streets and the number of little stores and cafes with neon lights blazing. Times Square, as they cruised through it, was less busy than it was at noon, but still teemed with people going to or returning from somewhere. Though a country boy at heart, the bright signs and bustling noise never failed to get his heart pumping. The bus came to a stop outside Madison Square Gardens, their venue for this part of the tour, and he started a pot of coffee. Being in New York meant long hours, their days filled with interviews, TV appearances, concerts, nights at clubs, and dinners with friends and family. They would be jazzed for a week, then not leave their beds for another. Management had graciously decided not to disturb their sleep, not moving them into the hotel until day had truly come.
Now that the drone of the bus' engine had been cut off, Lance could hear the other myriad of sounds around him. As usual, a soft rumbling meant that Joey was sleeping deeply. Another noise caught his ears. Burke, on occasion, would talk in his sleep, and this seemed to be one of those times. Lance, covering the snicker bubbling on his tongue, crouched beside the boy's bed. He was worried that a nightmare was spurring these words. "Eew! Wash your hair!" The singer's eyebrow arched. "'Cause it's all greasy, and I don't want to touch it! Please?" Anything else slurred into an incomprehensible mutter, but Lance definitely wanted to know what Burke had been dreaming about.
They took two vans to the hotel, Josh, Chris, and Burke in one, the plotters in the other. Justin, given the moment of privacy, phoned the hotel to make sure everything was ready for them. The manager would meet them at the front desk, and apologize for a mix up with their rooms. Normally they would have gotten a five room suite, but the man would only offer them a four room and a double, just as they had devised. Now they needed a way to get Burke and JC to take the double.
"I'm sorry sirs, but there is a problem with the rooms you requested. A computer error placed you on the fourteenth floor instead of the fifteenth. Unfortunately the suites on that floor are smaller than you had requested. With your needs in mind, we included a double occupancy room. I deeply regret this mistake, and will strive to make sure you are never inconvenienced in this way again."
"It's alright, Mr. Curtis. Thank you for trying to set things right. We really appreciate it." Lance slyly smiled at the man, already pulling a sizable tip out of his wallet.
"Well, how do we want to do this?" Chris sighed as the sat on the couches in the suite. "Two people get to go next door."
"This sucks!" Justin pouted. "I was looking forward to having a room all to myself."
"That may not happen, Curly."
"I don't mind sharing, so I'll go in the other room," Burke offered.
"Thanks, son. How about we draw straws? That way it'll be totally random." They agreed and Chris dug through the mini-bar, finding wooden toothpicks. He carefully broke them into different sizes, then held his hand out. As his co-conspirators chose, he deftly pressed the longer sticks up. With a streak of good luck, Josh chose the one Chris knew would place him in the room with Burke.
"Looks like it's you and me," Josh said, not entirely displeased.
"Is that alright, dad?"
"Of course. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have let Josh draw for it."
Justin's cell phone rang as they were gathering their luggage. "Crap! Alright, Lonnie." He hung up. "Another problem. Lonnie was finishing up his security sweep and discovered one of the beds in your room is broken. The hotel is going to fix it, but it might take a while."
"It's alright. I guess we can share a bed for a night. Is that ok, Burke?" The boy, feeling as if something strange was going on, nodded. "We're going to put our stuff up, then we'll be back over to look at the schedule."
"Josh?" Burke asked as they were placing clothes in the closets.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have the feeling that something is going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"The rooms and all that. First the mix up with reservations, then the broken bed."
"No. After a while, you'll see that things like this happen every now and then. We've been lucky so far. At least once, one of the hotels aren't called, and we end up sleeping on the bus in the middle of a parking lot. This is nothing compared to that. Do you think something is going on?"
Burke shrugged. "Just a feeling. I'm probably just tired."
"Do you want to take the day off and just rest? I'm sure Chris will let you skip one day of class if you are feeling worn out."
"I might ask him. Touring takes more energy than I thought it would."
Josh quickly cleared his bags off the bed and pulled back the blankets. "Come on and get in. I'll tell Chris that I put you to bed. I'm the resident expert on sleep, and I say that you need more." Burke pulled off his shoes and sweater, and climbed in. Josh, his touch light, tucked him in and kissed his forehead. "Just rest, Burke. We'll see you later. Love you." With a content sigh, the boy nestled into the plump pillows and let his eyes drift shut. Josh paused in the doorway, looking at his drowsy boyfriend, smiled, then shut off the light.
"Love you, Josh."
Burke woke up to a voice speaking from across the room. Stretching idly, he looked over at Lance standing in the doorway. "Hey, bud. Feeling better?" "Yeah. I just needed a little nap. What time is it?" "Twelve thirty. I came to see if you were ready for some lunch." "Sure. You all shouldn't have let me sleep that long." Burke sat up, rubbed his face, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't worry about it. You needed to rest. I have a question before we get some food." Burke nodded, already knowing, by the smile on his friend's face, that it was going to be something which would embarrass him. "You were talking in your sleep this morning. It sounded pretty funny, and I was wondering what you were dreaming about." "I had this crazy dream about you guys. Everything was different. Joe looked like a nerd and was singing on a stage with people who weren't you guys, you were telling a bunch of kids that they could sing even though they couldn't, and dad was off somewhere. I don't know what he was doing. Justin had gone away. He was singing songs I'd never heard." "What was the part about greasy hair? That's what you were talking about." "That was Josh. He looked like a trucker or something. I wanted him to wash his hair because it felt gross." "If nothing else, Burke, your dreams are very imaginative." "Justin was with Christina Aguilera. I know they were friends a long time ago." "They still are. We hang out whenever schedules put us in the same place. But you are forbidden to go anywhere near her, at least by yourself!" "Why?" he whined. "Don't you trust me around a pop diva? I did just fine with Britney." "I know. It's not that at all. Chrissy has an interesting idea about expressing yourself through getting holes put in you. I for one don't want to see her when presented with someone almost totally intact. You're too much of a clean slate to entrust to her!" "But Lansten! What if I want to get several rings in my nose?" "Then you can wait until you're eighteen. But don't blame me if Chris goes ballistic! Come on, the guys are waiting and you know how Joe gets if he can't eat every few hours!" Since there wasn't a lot of time until their next engagement, they decided to eat at the hotel's restaurant. Over a salad, Burke told them, at Lance's prompting, about his dream. For a moment, Chris seemed worried about not being in the vision, but was told it wasn't a bid deal. Somehow Burke knew where he was, he just wasn't right there. Joey was the most excited, insisting that he had been on Broadway, an assumption that earned him a lot of teasing. After laughing at him, Burke was assured that there would never be alone time with Christina Aguilera if they ever met. "Where are you off to next?" Burke asked as they were walking out of the restaurant. "MTV's studios. We're taping an interview, then doing TRL. Want to come along?" That offer was quickly taken, and they were off, using a limo instead of one of the vans. Burke sat behind the cameras as his family was interviewed, listening to the automatic responses the gave to all the questions. He had seen them like that before, at meet and greets and such, going through the whole process like robots. It wasn't long before the questions became focused on Chris, asking about his being a father to a teenager. He answered like the seasoned professional he was, his voice ringing with genuine caring as he talked about his experiences with Burke. When things got a little too personal, he brushed them off with vague responses, of politely refuse to answer. When the cameras finished rolling, the woman turned to Burke. "If and when the day comes that you two want to talk, it would be my pleasure to share your incredible story with the rest of the world. Yes, it would be the interview of the century, but I think a lot of people would be touched by your stories. You don't have to say anything. I know it's not time for that yet." Burke nodded his head and thanked her. Changing clothes quickly, the singers made their way upstairs, greeting the legions of fans both inside and outside of the building. Burke managed not to laugh when he saw his father keeping a safe distance from the high windows. Justin and Joe flirted their way through the show, talking about the tour and the videos they introduced. Every time one of them opened their mouths, Burke could hear the collective sigh of the female fans packed into the room. He almost rolled his eyes, but didn't, remembering that, not too long ago, he was one of them. That thought made him smile. He was still a fan of course, but he was also a part of the family. He wasn't a screaming, nameless face professing love for someone he didn't know. That smiled faded, however. At one point, JC, for that was the person he was at the moment, looked his way and gave a wink. The girls around him went crazy, thinking it was for them. Burke gave one back, then faded into the background, sneaking out of the room. He went back to the dressing room, reassuring Warren that everything was fine, good naturedly complaining about all the noise. Once out of eyesight, he began to fret. It wasn't fair to Josh, he told himself. He has to pretend to be single and straight, I just make that harder for him. And even if he wanted to come out, I'm not the person he needs to be seen with. I'm a nobody. He needs a gay version of Justin. Someone handsome and successful. Someone he has things in common with. Someone good enough for him to love. Joey was happy when the show finally came to a close. Without being rude to the fans, he hurried, as fast as possible, out the door. For the last half of the show, he hadn't seen Burke anywhere, and was worried something had happened. He saw Warren standing guard outside the dressing room, so he knew, at least, that his little brother was still in the building. With a smiling nod, he went inside. Burke was curled up on the couch, reading a magazine. "You all right, little man?" "Sure, Joe. I just got tired of trying to hear you over the screaming. Being at an arena is one thing. It's totally different to be sitting right next to them." He forced a content look on his face, not wanting Joey to worry about him.When Burke came up from the basement level pool, he found a note tapped to the door of his room. He grinned, instantly recognizing Lance's neat, businesslike script.
BURKE,
I WENT TO DINNER WITH A PROSPECTIVE CLIENT. JOE AND CHRIS WENT TO SEE AN OLD FRIEND. JUSTIN IS SHOPPING. JOSH IS TAKING A NAP. IF YOU GO ANYWHERE, MAKE SURE ONE OF THE GUARDS ARE WITH YOU. AND LET JOSH KNOW BEFORE YOU LEAVE. IF YOU GUYS GET HUNGRY, THERE IS A RESERVATION ALREADY MADE: RICARDO'S. IT'S A GOOD PLACE TO EAT. SEE YOU LATER.
LANCE
Burke crept into the dark room, careful not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. He took some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom, taking a shower to rinse the chlorine off his skin. The lights were on when he came out, and Josh was watching television. "Sorry for waking you up," he apologized as he rubbed his wet hair with a towel.
"You didn't. I asked for a wake up call at seven. Have a good swim?"
"Yep. The guys are all gone." He gave the man Lance's note.
"Ricardo's! I love that place. Do you want to have dinner?"
"Sure. Do I need to wear something special?"
"Khakis and a nice shirt. It's an upscale family place." They dug into their expansive closet, each finding something that was appropriate. Though they had seen each other naked, Burke excused himself into the bathroom to change. When he had finished, they both crowded in front of the mirror, their elbows banging together as they fixed their hair. Josh called the front desk to arrange a cab, then security to let them know they would be going out.
Ready to leave, they walked down the hall, joined by Warren, and left. As the elevator doors closed, Lonnie, from his room, picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. "They just left," he laughed, loving the feeling of being a spy.
"Time for Operation: Get Some to move into it's next phase," Justin cackled as his clicked his phone off.
"I wish you wouldn't call it that," Lance groaned. Justin called the restaurant to inform them that their targets were on the way, and made sure everything was ready for them. "How are you planning on getting them to talk about their problems?"
"I hired a professional to stir the pot a little."
"A professional? What are you talking about?"
Justin grinned, pleased with himself. "I hired a guy to pretend to be very interested in Jayce. Burke will get a little upset, and Josh will have to explain how he feels. Brilliant, isn't it?"
"Not really. What if Burke takes off? Did you think about that?"
A frown crossed his lips. "Not really. But won't they still talk about it?"
"Probably, but I don't want to see either of them hurt in the process. You didn't think this one out very well, Justin. And I thought we were giving them all week to work up to this."
"I'll apologize if things go wrong, but don't get all riled up just yet. I'm just impatient for them to be happy."
Burke and Josh, after confirming their reservation, were led to a small table in the back of the restaurant, away from prying eyes. They hadn't asked to be put there, but figured the staff were just being helpful. "We haven't had dinner together for a while," Josh smiled over the top of his glass of water. "I'm sorry." "Don't be. We both knew there wouldn't be a lot of time for it. Besides, we're here now, aren't we?" He winked at his boyfriend and turned back to the menu. "So, what's good here?" "If you'd like, I'll tell you our specials for the evening." They both looked up at the waiter who had appeared. The man rattled off a list of delicious sounding foods, his eyes locked on Josh through the whole process. Burke began to fidget in his seat. He didn't like the attention the man was showing. Frowning while pretending to listen, he looked the waiter over. He was tall, probably around 6'1, with blond hair and light colored eyes. From the way his white shirt stretched over his chest, Burke could tell he had a nice body. His smile and pleasant voice enhanced his attractiveness. That was the kind of man who would look good with Josh, presentable. "Are you ready to order?" he asked, still looking at the singer. "I'd like the linguine and clam sauce, with cheese ravioli as an appetizer." "Very good, sir," he replied with a wink. "And you?" The tone of his voice said that he wished Burke wasn't there. "The same please," he answered quickly. Burke was uncomfortable with the feelings of jealousy running through him. He handed his menu over, and watched the man's fingers brush along Josh's hand as he did the same. It was a caress hidden within accidental contact. "He was nice," Josh mused as the man walked away. Something coiled inside Burke as he tried to smile. "Yeah." He had found someone worthy of being with Josh, and was about to be cast aside. They made small talk while waiting for their appetizers, Burke's side of it carried on bravely. The waiter sat two plates down. "There you are. Enjoy!" His hand briefly squeezed Josh's shoulder. Burke stuck his fork into a piece of ravioli, but his appetite had left him. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought I was." To prove a point, he bit into the doughy pouch. "This is really good, though." Josh tenderly reached across the table, and pushed his hand down. "After all this time, I can tell when you're upset about something. What's wrong? I can't make it better if you don't tell me." "I'm just thinking about some stuff. Don't worry about it." Josh gestured, and the waiter came over. "I'm afraid we'll be canceling our order." "Is something wrong with your appetizers?" "No, they're wonderful. We've got to be going though." "Dessert, perhaps?" Burke didn't miss the inflection or the cute look. "No thank you. If you could bring our check, that would be helpful. And, of course, I'll be paying for the food we ordered." "Josh, we don't have to go." "There's something wrong, and I want to take you someplace private so we can talk about it." As soon as everything had been had been paid for, they left, walking down the block. "I've got the perfect place." Josh hailed a cab, sent Warren back to the hotel after fervently promising to stay away from people, and asked to be taken to Central Park. Once there, they climbed into a waiting carriage. "Just drive around for a while," he told the woman up front. She seemed to understand the words he wasn't saying, and urged the dappled horse into a plodding walk. On their way, the singer's attention returned to Burke. "Alright. Will you please tell me what's wrong? I know something is bothering you, and that makes me upset. Have I done something wrong?" "Of course not, Josh. You are wonderful to me." "Then what?" Burke blushed, knowing he was about to sound like a child. "It was the waiter at Ricardo's. He was flirting with you." "Really?" Josh was quiet for a moment, replaying their short meal in his head. "I didn't notice at the time, but maybe he was. I bet he recognized me. I was too excited about being with you to pay much attention. But there's more to it, isn't there?" "It's just what I was thinking during the whole thing." "What's that?" The boy looked away, staring at the darkness around them. "If you keep it inside, Burke, I can't tell you what you need to hear." He didn't sway from his staring, too scared to look Josh in the eye. "I was thinking about how nice he seemed. He was handsome. I thought about what the two of you would look like together. Better than the two of us," he finished with a choked whisper. "I didn't notice him at all. And I guarantee he wasn't as good as you." "How can you say that, Josh? You are nearly perfect, and I'm--well, I'm me. You don't deserve someone like that." "Oh God!" In an instant, Burke found himself pulled against the man's heaving chest. "Don't you ever think like that! You hear me? Never! I know who and what you are, Burke. I've been there through some hard times. And when I look at you, I see an angel. You are so smart and caring and generous. You're beautiful to me. I love every part of you. From that head with too many thoughts, those eyes I never want to see filled with tears, the arms I want to feel against me, that heart that bleeds for everyone who's hurting, right down to your little bitty feet. I just don't see how an angel, even one who has forgotten how to fly, can love someone like me." "You, Josh? How can I not love you?" "I'm not perfect. You and Lance are so much smarter than I'll ever be. And even though I think of him like a brother, it's easy to admit Justin is gorgeous. I can't compare to them. I'm scared one day you'll see all that." They were both crying, tears spilling as they bared their souls. "I do love you, Josh. There are people smarter than Lance and I put together. That doesn't matter. And, in my opinion, Justin doesn't hold a candle to you. He might be cute, but he doesn't make my heart beat faster whenever he smiles. You do that. Maybe you aren't perfect, but to me you are, and that's all I need. I worry about you waking up one day and seeing that you've wasted your time on someone who isn't up to par with the world." "You're up to par in my world, way past it. You're all I've ever wanted, Burke, and all I'll ever want. I'll never, *ever*, think that I've wasted my time on loving you. You know why? Because that would mean I have second thoughts, and that will never happen. All my life I've been waiting for you, and now that I have you, I'm never letting go." They collapsed into each other's arms, finding solace and strength by clinging to what both had prayed for. I love you's were exchanged freely and often, dotted by brief kisses. Josh pulled out of the embrace, stood up, and quietly spoke to their carriage driver. As they emerged from the park, he paid her, and drug Burke into a taxi, giving an address to the man behind the wheel. "What are we doing here?" Burke asked as they stopped in front of Tiffany's. "Making sure this problem never comes up again." At that hour, few people were in the store. Josh asked for the manager, and shared a whispered conversation with the man. They were shown to a small room, and sat down in the comfortable chairs. "How can I be of service this evening?" "Before that, Mr. Reynolds, I need to be sure you know that this is a--tender situation." "Of course, sir. We respect the concerns of our customers. I assure you this visit will be held in strict confidence." "Thank you. Burke, could you wait here while I talk to Mr. Reynolds? Please?" "Um, ok. Do you need me for anything?" Josh smiled and squeezed the boy's hand. "For lots of thing, for the rest of my life, but not with this." "Alright, just remember what you promised about spending money." The man grinned wickedly as he and the manager shuffled out the door. Waiting, Burke flipped through a catalogue of sorts, looking at all the products the company could and did make. At one point he was interrupted by Mr. Reynolds, the man making a quick appearance to measure Burke's fingers and neck. "We're ready to go," Josh said, sticking his head in the door half and hour later. A small bag hung from his hand as they walked toward the door. "Thank you so much for all you help, Mr. Reynolds." "You are very welcome. I am glad I could be of service. Please, come again if there is anything else we can do for you." In the taxi for ten minutes, Burke's curiosity finally got the best of him. "So, when are you gonna tell me what's in the bag?" "When it's the right time. Just know that it's a good thing, and be patient." Burke huffed. "For me? Please?" The boy tried not to smile as Josh lifted his hand and kissed it. "Oh, alright. Just because I love you so much." "Good. And I love you too." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hand in hand, they walked down the quiet hall of the hotel. Josh keyed into the room, and they entered. Through flickering candlelight, they were greeted by a jungle of roses in every color. "Oh Josh!" Burke sighed, breathing in the heady aroma. "This is beautiful!" "It is, but it wasn't me." A card sat on top of the television. "From the guys. Warren told them that we went off to talk, and they thought this was something they could do." "I love those guys." "Me too. I wonder what they would've done if we had had a big fight?" Burke plopped down on the bed. "I don't plan on ever finding out." Josh joined him, Burke's head falling on his shoulder. "Ready for what I bought you?" He took the all too recognizable blue box out and sat it in Burke's lap. "I don't want to go through another night like this. Or a week, for that matter. I've been torn up all this time, and I didn't even notice that you were too. I love you, Burke, and I'm blessed to be loved by you." Sniffling, he answered, "I didn't know what love was until I met you guys. Now I have it in spades. But nothing compares to knowing that you have my heart. I love you." Josh nudged the little box, and Burke carefully opened it. Inside, nestled in navy velvet, lay a simple gold ring. "Oh-" "I'm not going to get down on my knees and propose. It's not time for that--yet. I want you to put this on, and know that I am yours. Nothing, and no one, will take me away from you. Someday we'll talk about making this forever, but right now, I'm making you that promise." His fingers trembling, Burke slipped the band onto his finger. "But what about-" "Already ahead of you." From the pocket of his pants, Josh pulled the ring's match. Before he could put in on, Burke took it and pressed his lips against the shining gold. "Nothing and no one," he murmured, tears evident in his voice. He watched as the ring went on his boyfriend's finger. "Nothing and no one," Josh answered as he leaned in for a kiss. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's it for now! I meant for this to be more drawn out, but, like Justin, I was impatient. Or maybe I just felt the need to have a little romance! But don't worry, there are still more issues (intimacy concerns) to be resolved, and that will bring comedy into the picture. There are at least two more chapters fully devoted to the New York visit. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to work the real lives of NSYNC into this story. I thought it would be cute to put them in a humorous light. I'd love to hear your opinions. You can reach me at cameronwriter@hotmail.com Always, Cameron P.S. A dedication to a great friend: *TICKLE*