---------------------------------------- Lillian-7 ----------------------------------------
I was on the couch. Covered with a blanket, I was deep into my book. Well, I was making an effort to be into my book. My mind was actually on what passed for my social life recently. Suddenly, my life was filled with women, and I loved it. Still, lurking in the background, stood my husband. Bummer.
Not that I'd become disillusioned with men, but have you ever suddenly had a change of taste? One food that seemed especially good at one point in your life is now on your "least favorite" list? At the same time, something that was O.K., but nowhere near the top, is suddenly a must have.
Daniel was upstairs in bed. No doubt, once I went to bed, he'd reach out. The unmistakable hint. The husbandly sexual overture. Currently, my least favorite.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
My cell phone was vibrating on the coffee table. Who could be calling at this hour?
"Hello?"
"Hi, Slave."
"Jackie? How are you?"
"I'm good, Lil. You?"
I smiled. Thinking about us. Our first time. All the times since. "I'm better now."
"Good. Let me in."
My heart skipped a beat. "What?"
"Go to your front window." I got up with the phone glued to my ear. This wasn't happening. Jesus, I couldn't believe this. Jackie was parked in front of the house. "May I come in? I have something to tell you."
"But, HE'S upstairs."
"I'll be quick."
I turned the phone off and opened the door. She jumped out of her car and sprinted inside. We kissed, and she held me close with a firm hand on my behind. She liked that. Who'm I kidding? I liked that.
"She LOVED it!"
"Yeah?" I smiled. It was the first time I went out looking for a woman. The first time that I was initiating things. "Tell me more."
Jackie kissed me softly and injected portions of the story between them. "She came home and immediately dragged me to the bedroom. She talked about how you came in the place." Kiss. "How she knew you were scooping the place out." Kiss. "How you zeroed in on her and how you took your time being an exhibitionist."
I smiled. "She's a good person to be an exhibitionist in front of."
"And, then, how you confessed to her how you were gay. God, Lil, do you know how that drove Iliana over the edge?"
Kiss. "Yeah. She talked all about you, just like you said. I knew we'd be doing something, but I figured we'd just kiss."
"Oh, you'd be surprised what those girls do in those dressing rooms." The look in her eyes changed. Now, I was the target. Now, Jackie wanted me. Her hands untied my robe and wrapped around my night-gowned torso.
"Jackie!?!"
"Shhhh." Hands moved up to my breasts. Pinched my nipples. Rock hard. Down my hips. Patting my belly. "How's my little lesbian?"
I was breathless. Anticipation. Danger. Damn, I was excited. "She's doing well. Growing every day."
"Thinking only good thoughts?"
"Only the best." Images on Karen came to mind. The long, beautiful body. The passion in her eyes. Images of Jackie on top of me being demanding and me being willing. Images of the beautiful Iliana from the lingerie shop. Jackie's wife. The woman Jackie asked me to seduce if it felt right. "Very girl thou-very good thoughts."
Kiss. Open mouth. Tongues invading and controlling. Enjoying. Jackie's hand sliding down past my hips. Pulling up the hem of my nightgown and brushing my neatly groomed sex.
"Oh, Jackie. He's upstairs. Don't." I wasn't resisting. I was cautioning. I loved it.
"Yeah, so you better not scream like you usually do."
The middle finger traced the length of my sex and coaxed the seal of my lips to break. God, I was wet. I couldn't hide it, and now Jackie was inside of me. I'd be damned if I was going to make her stop, but I had to say something. She pushed me gently against the front door as I said, "He'll come down and see. I don't want him to know, Jackie." One, then two fingers slide inside of me. Slow. Deliberate.
"Know what? That you like being fucked?"
"Yes."
"That you love that hot feeling deep inside of you when a woman is the one making you excited?"
My legs were around her waist. I was hers - completely. "Yes."
"That you're a dirty, naughty little woman and you don't want anything to do with him?"
"Yes."
"That, if you could change it, you'd never have had sex with him to begin with?"
Cold shower. Jolt of reality. My eyes shot open and my hand went to her mouth. "Shhh. My girls are the best things to come out of this. I can't imagine them NOT being here." I removed my hand.
"I'm sorry."
"You know to tread lightly there, Jacqueline." After a moment, she started stroking me again. I quickly melted.
"If you could change it, you'd have had a woman use his sperm to get you pregnant and have your daughters? Like Iliana and I are doing?"
I looked her in the eyes. She was still unsure whether or not she was in hot water with me. I smiled. "Yes, oh, god, yes!"
"I want him tot come down. I want him to see you are you really are. I want your husband to know that you love women more than he does. I want your husband to know how big a closet dyke he's sleeping with. I want him to know that it's not him. it's me, it's your girlfriend, it's everyone. but him."
As she ravaged me, my mind wandered on images. Karen on top of me in my husband's wedding bed. Daniel coming in and me not stopping. Of me climbing on top of her. Of me eating her 'til she screams. Of Iliana and me. Caressing her swollen belly in the hopes of rousing the child within. Of Jackie taking me like an animal in public and everyone knowing. Daniel. The girls. The world.
"Why are you doing this, Lillian? Why are you doing this?" They all ask. They all scream.
"I'm a lesbian." I mutter.
"What?"
I'd been behaving like one, but didn't embrace it. I couldn't do that any more.
"I'm a lesbian," I say softly.
"I don't think so."
Who were they to tell me what I was and what I wasn't?
"I'm a lesbian," I say matter of factly.
"Like hell."
Fuck them. I'm who I am. I say who I am. I say what I am.
"I'm gay. I'm queer. I'm a dyke. I am a lesbian!"
White light. Explosion. BOOM!
Jackie held me as I rode the orgasm. Kissing my neck. Caressing my back. Telling me how beautiful I was. Letting me know she was there.
I whispered, "I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian."
She smiled and whispered softly while caressing my face, "Happy Birthday, Lil. Today, my little lesbian is born."
---------------------------------------- Comments and questions are always welcome at msraspberryswirl@yahoo.com ----------------------------------------