Disclaimer: The following story contains activity that would be considered of homosexual nature between consenting college students. While none of it crosses into a gratuitous nature, if such material is offensive to you or you are not of the legal age to read such material in your area, please do not. Other than that, please enjoy the story!
The Living Years
Chapter 16 "The Soul's Spirit Will Carry You"
It was November. It was supposed to be cold but the highs all week had been in the upper 80's. Yet, Thursday, Thanksgiving was predicted to have the wonderful for the holidays high of only 34. Quite a dip in the temperature.
That big dip hadn't gone unnoticed by nearly everyone at the school. Or more specifically, Trey and his immediate circle of friends.
Thanksgiving, as he suspected and had confirmed was one of the holidays in which you were kicked out the university. In exchange for being kicked out the students were given a full week out of school for the holiday. A full week that most freshman didn't realize they'd be making up for later.
Trey found it ironic that it had been so warm only to end up so cold on the holidays. He also found it ironic that he was being forced to go home on the one time where he wasn't actually looking forward to it. Not because he didn't want to see his mother.
No, that would have been a good thing. The reason why he didn't want to go home so much was because of his string of bad luck extending to even his winter breaks. Normally a few of his family members flew in for Thanksgiving. Trey didn't really have a large family and a lot of his relatives were spread out over the city and other states so not everyone could make it for the date. This year was one of those rare years where everyone had something going on. So much so that they couldn't make it to Thanksgiving.
That just left him and his mom, who had already informed him that she wasn't for sure whether or not she would even be able to get to take off work from both of her jobs. One, maybe, but if she had to work on the other one it wouldn't even matter.
Trey pretty much had nothing to look forward to. Bad things all around him.
"Is it normal for it drop like fifty degrees in a single day?" Zoey asked as she picked apart her mozzarella cheese stick.
She, Grace and Trey were in the cafeteria enjoying dinner. It was going to be one of the last meals they ate together before they each went their separate ways for the holiday.
"Probably not. Must mean God thinks there's too many bad ass people running around all over the place this year," Grace replied looking over her fish.
"So God's plan is to freeze us all and cause a twelve car pileup on I-20? You know there's gonna be like ice all on the ground and stuff," Zoey replied.
"I never like when it's that cold outside," Grace replied. "And my black ass don't even need to be that cold. The only place there's any insulation IS my ass."
Zoey giggled at Grace's statement before looking over at Trey. Grace did the same and both girls exchanged glances.
"He still isn't talking to you?" Zoey asked. "It's been three weeks."
It had in fact been three long weeks for Trey since Noah had informed him that he didn't think there was any way that the two of them could be friends. At the time, Trey had taken that to mean that Noah just needed some time to cool down. But the fact that he'd been serious had taken him by surprise and it wasn't a very good one.
Sure Zoey and Grace were back on terms with each other and him, but for some reason, he just felt empty. Like he was missing something. And he actually was. Shawn still wasn't really talking to him either but the two of them went back and forward so much between being at odds and being fine with each other that he was more used to that.
He wasn't feeling very happy lately.
"You know, I love em both, but damn," Grace said, pushing her tray off food aside.
"I know. I mean, it takes two to tango. You didn't exactly have sex with yourself," Zoey added. "And it happened before you and Noah got together. You'd never cheat on him right?"
"Of course not!" Trey exclaimed. "I tried to tell him that but it's like he doesn't trust me anymore. This is so stupid you know?"
Trey had a lot of emotions running through him but he didn't want to start running his mouth and confront Shawn, or worse yet, Noah, and make things worse.
"Well, maybe they'll come around," Zoey started. "And if not, you still have us. We're not going anywhere."
"Yeah," Grace replied. "We got ya back."
Zoey looked over at Grace.
"See, what's the deal with that sinking in and out of your inner ghetto girl?" Zoey asked. "My helpless little mind can only take so many different versions of you."
"I think it's all these damn white people up here. Culture Shock to the ninth degree," Grace replied.
Trey was barely paying attention to anything but noticed Noah walk into the cafeteria talking with a guy he'd never seen before. He noticed that it looked like Noah was enjoying hearing whatever the other guy was saying to him.
"There's the other one," Zoey said, noticing Noah walking into the cafeteria.
Trey could barely function with knowing Shawn was sitting three tables away ignoring him like he'd been doing for nearly a month now but with Noah coming in probably ready to do the same thing to him, he wasn't sure he'd be able to take it.
"I know his ass better sit over here," Grace started. "Coming all the way over to this dorm hall just to eat, he better."
"Here," Zoey started, standing up. "I'll go get him."
"No, wait," Trey said, taking a hold of Zoey's arm as she stood up. "Don't. I don't want Noah to feel like he's being forced to be around me. If he wants to sit with us, great. But if he doesn't..."
Zoey lingered a few seconds before sitting back down and looked Trey over with pity as Grace did the same.
Trey watched as Noah got his food and looked for a place to sit with his friend. His friend found a place for them directly two tables in front of them, one table behind Shawn and his friends, and two tables to the left of where he was sitting.
He kept watching him, waiting to see whether or not he'd notice him. Noah's friend must have told some kind of joke because Noah started laughing and accidentally knocked over his cup of soda before jumping up to go grab some napkins or something to clean up his mess.
Trey continued to watch him get the napkins and come back to his tables, standing while he wiped the spilled soda off of the table before taking his seat and getting situated again. It wasn't until he did this did he finally notice Trey.
Trey wanted to look away. He wanted to act like he didn't want Noah to see him. But the truth was, he craved that and he was glad that he finally had.
Even though Trey hadn't really been paying attention to anything around him before, once his eyes connected with Noah's, everything else was phased out. It was like the sound in the room muted and everyone around him started moving in slow motion.
Noah's telling him that he didn't think they could be friends didn't erase his feelings for him. They were still there and staring into his eyes made those feelings feel times harder for him to deal with. His heart was beating fast, his insides were growing warmer by the second and he felt more nervous than he'd ever felt in his entire life.
The stare, to Trey, seemed to last a long time. It only lasted a few seconds but even that was too short for him because Noah started talking to the guy he was sitting with.
Neither one of them had noticed through any of it that Shawn had seen the whole thing.
"So what do you guys think, is it the end of our short little era?" Zoey asked.
Grace looked over at Trey.
He almost felt like it was the end of his life but he knew that wasn't the case. He wasn't sure what to think other than that if it was the end of an era, he was going to have to move on.
He just didn't want to.
Jesse had never felt more trapped in his entire life. More specifically, he'd never felt trapped at all until his brother showed up. And of course he was the only one that could manage that impossible feat.
Blackmail, as it turned out, was something that Nick was very good at doing. Jesse knew that he couldn't lift a finger to throw his brother out or else running the risk of the entire world calling him out to be the fag that he most certainly was not.
Even that, however, was starting to sound a bit more alluring than the torture of having his brother around. His providing him a free `use me' service had long since gotten old and now grated his nerves with every fiber he had.
The past three weeks had felt like three months with his brother around doing whatever the hell he wanted because he knew that he could. Jesse tried but failed to figure out who he thought he was acting like he was better than everyone else. Acting like he was some sort of celebrity that everyone should bow down to and automatically know upon seeing him. He wondered what sort of person did things like that other than his brother.
Jesse snorted upon seeing yet another one of his brother's female acquaintances sitting on his couch wearing nothing but one of Nick's long sleeved button up Armani shirts. He'd become used to seeing some girl of the hour polluting his space. Ordinarily he wouldn't have minded all the beautiful girls Nick was bringing to his place at every which hour. But because they seemed to only be interested in his brother and not him, they were all a bunch of whores who could go to hell as far as he was concerned.
"Well, I see you're excelling in your establishing a booming prostitution ring," Jesse said, as he sat at his kitchen bar. "You'll have rivaled Heidi Fleiss in no time."
"Why Jesse, what a foul mouth you have," Nick spoke. "I think I know of at least one way to shut it up."
Jesse glared at his brother's smug look before sighing and deciding that even though he knew that he was his brother's property for the time being, he wasn't going to let it affect how he normally acted. He knew his brother well enough to know that as long as he had someone taking care of him, he wasn't going to bite the hand that was feeding him.
"I'm sure you do," Jesse spoke simply matching his brother's gaze for a few moments before Nick broke it to turn his attention to the near-naked girl sitting almost in his lap.
"What am I going to do with you Elle?" he said, putting his arms around her. "I almost don't want to leave you behind."
"Oh, planning on hitting the road again?" Jesse asked, trying to sound like he hadn't gotten his hopes up just then. "Do me a favor and save the postcards for mum and father."
"If only you were getting off that easy," Nick replied. "No, I think I might actually go home for the Yank holiday. Or at the very least visit some friends. I know they can get quite lonely without me."
Jesse found it hard to believe that with the personality his other brother had that he even had friends and decided not to say anything.
"Well, that sounds like an ace idea," Jesse started. "Don't mind bothering me with the details, I think I'm just going to hang around here."
"You'll miss me while I'm gone?"
"Hardly," Jesse replied simply.
Secretly Jesse was hoping that his brother left for the week and stayed gone. He was used to having his freedom and his brother was sapping it all away from him.
"Well, I'm sure you'll get along well enough without us," Nick said.
"Us?"
"Yes, I've decided I'm taking Elle here with me. She's never been to London and I plan on educating her on the finer aspects of our beloved country. This of course before wining and dining her later."
Jesse grinned smugly.
"Well, all I can say to is that I hope you use protection. Bastard love child surprises can never mean anything good on a holiday."
Nick eyed his brother in a way that would suggest he was debating whether or not to respond rashly to his brother's overly smug attitude before finally deciding against it.
"Well, try not to get into too much trouble while I'm gone," Nick spoke.
Jesse was planning on doing plenty while Nick was gone BECAUSE he'd be gone. For the past few weeks he'd felt like he'd been under house arrest and hadn't even been to a single party. Although, part of that was fear of finding himself so inebriated or worse around yet another guy his brother would have hired just to set him up again.
He just didn't want to take any chances and with his brother half way around the world, he knew that he'd finally be able to again, if only for a short amount of time.
"Do me a favor and PVR that show with the French hookers for me while I'm gone, will you brother dearest?" Nick asked, standing up. "The girls like to learn from it, teach me new things in the bedroom."
Jesse eyed his brother with disgust before realizing that he wasn't quite so hungry for dinner after all and that the sooner he was up and gone, the better.
Trey sat on Grace's bed watching her as she packed. Zoey, who was already packed and would be carpooling with her, sat in her computer desk chair drinking a Diet Pepsi.
"What the hell did I do with my damn mascara?" Grace asked aloud, sounding overly flustered.
"You mean, you don't have like, more at home?" Zoey asked quizzically.
"I haven't been home since school started girl, who knows what's still there," Grace replied.
Trey was trying to keep from feeling depressed. He knew the facts. The statistics that said that people generally find themselves more depressed around the holidays. But he always thought it was because of all the money people found themselves spending or because they had no one to spend the holidays with. He didn't have to buy any gifts yet and he did have his mother to spend Thanksgiving with.
No, he was sad because of the state his life was in. He wasn't happy with the general direction it was going and he wasn't really sure how to make things better for himself.
He did know that his current unhappiness had a lot to do with Shawn and Noah not talking to him but there really wasn't much he could do about it now. Because for at least the next week, he'd be at home, miserable and going out of his mind thinking about how to fix things having to wait at least a week just to try.
"You know I don't really get it," Zoey started, tossing her empty soda can into the trash under the desk she was sitting at. "Thanksgiving is really just an excuse to get entire families in one place so the store chains can make more money the day after but I have family coming in from Rhode Island and New York oh and not to mention my two twin cousins are coming in from their abroad study in Madrid."
"We don't even eat turkey in my family," Grace admitted as she folded up a small pink t-shirt and placed it on her bed. "We make a bunch of fried chicken with turkey stuffing. My mama thinks that's better."
"Well at least you all have family coming over, not that I was really looking forward to my six year old cousin going through my room like a little nut job anyway," Trey spoke up.
"I can't believe we're about to take our first vacation away from each other," Grace said. "I'm closer to you guys than I've ever been with anybody else. I think I might miss you guys."
"Aww, Grace, me too," Zoey spoke, getting up to hug Grace.
Trey rolled his eyes.
"You guys think I need more guy friends?" he asked in reference to Zoey and Grace having their very girly moment.
Zoey and Grace just giggled and pulled him into their hug, making him feel even worse about actually getting to go home for an entire week. Now he was starting to feel guilty. And even admitting it to himself, he realized that he would in fact miss the only two friends he had at the moment.
"I'm excited but I'm sad...and I ain't even on my cycle," Grace spoke, temporarily forgoing her packing.
And for a few moments, she, Zoey and Trey sat around, not speaking or moving. Just breathing in the quiet all thinking about different things, yet the same things at the same time. They stayed this way until Trey spoke up.
"I don't want my life to be complicated," he said.
Grace and Zoey looked over at him.
"I mean, this stuff with Shawn and Noah...it's all a lot more complicated than I wanna be dealing with right now. I think I need to try to move on."
Grace and Zoey exchanged glances.
"I think that's a good idea," Zoey started. "Our lives? Not daytime drama suitable. Besides its pretty obvious that's what Shawn and Noah are doing anyway."
"Yeah," Grace agreed, joining Trey on his other side to comfort him as Zoey did. "You're a cute guy. You'll find somebody else."
"And if I don't want somebody else?" Trey asked, looking down, feeling glazed over.
Grace looked over at Zoey who seemed to have an answer for him.
"Coming from someone in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that it's about who you need, not who you want."
Trey thought about her words for a moment before looking over at his friend with a grin.
"It?"
"Yeah, girl what do you know about `it?'"
"You know? The L word, whatever...and NOT the lesbian word. I know how fast you like to sink to your lowest of lows," Zoey joked, standing up.
"Now that's' something I'll actually miss, your quick wit," Trey spoke, smiling, feeling slightly better about the vacation.
There was no way he was going to feel completely good about spending a week away from his friends.
"Um..." Noah started as he folded a sweatshirt and placed it on his bed. "What are you doing?"
Jeremy, who was busy unplugging his expensive computer system barely looked up at Noah to respond.
"Well, a week is a pretty long time to be away from my baby. Especially since we'll technically be gone nine days, not seven."
"And?" Noah asked.
"And what?" Jeremy shot back. "My computer costs more than my tuition for the year. I just got my White Paladin to level fifty. The last thing I want is to come back from the break to find my baby sitting alone in some cheap little pawn shop."
Noah chuckled and nodded as he continued folding.
He had mixed feelings about the break himself. On the one hand, he definitely felt like he needed a break from school. He'd spent the past three weeks trying to forget about Trey as best as possible. It was one thing to ignore him, that was the easy part. The hard part was trying to forget about him, which wasn't easy when he saw him every single day.
But then he saw what he had to look forward to, which as far as he was concerned was nothing. His family was nothing but a bunch of unwanted trouble. But he couldn't deny that they weren't his family. He couldn't just completely cut them out of his life, even though at one point, he almost felt like he'd wanted to. But that was a long time ago when he was finally getting along with Trey and it seemed like he was even in good spots with his enemies.
"I'm surprised you're even going home," Noah stated. "I figured you'd be using you're free week to play that game with actual people in front of you."
"Hey, the last thing I like having to do is vacating the premises for a week," Jeremy replied. "I mean, what if I didn't celebrate Thanksgiving? Do the talking heads in charge even think about stuff like that?"
"I'm pretty sure they do, yeah."
"Well," Jeremy continued as he wrapped his computer in bubble wrap. "I didn't go home over the summer so the fam hasn't seen me since....Easter? Yeah, Easter. I gotta make an appearance so they don't think I'm dead."
"Everything okay with you and them? Your family I mean?"
Jeremy looked over at Noah and shrugged.
"I don't know. I mean, yeah, I guess. We get along alright. I bet they all probably secretly wish I was a doctor or something already. Steady hands you know."
"I'll bet," Noah chuckled.
"What about you? You never really talk about your family. I don't even know if you have any brothers or sister."
Noah wanted to lie. He wanted to tell Jeremy that he didn't have any siblings and that one or both of his parents were dead but he realized that he didn't hate them that much. He only thought he did.
"They're....around," Noah decided to reply.
"That bad huh?"
Noah didn't respond. He was already trying to do what he could to keep from thinking about the week he'd have to spend with them.
"That's okay. Family turmoil is normal I guess. As long as they don't end up on Jerry Springer were okay."
Noah chuckled to himself before looking over at Jeremy. Really looking over at him. As much as he liked to think he found him weird, he had to admit that there was just something strangely comforting about him as well. A familiarity that was more calming to him than the idea of joining his family for a week of whoknowswhat.
There was a moment where no one said anything as they both just went back to what they were doing before Jeremy finished packing up his computer and looked over at Noah.
"Admit it, you're gonna miss me," he said, with a smile.
Noah looked over at him.
He hated to admit it, but truthfully, he actually would miss him. Jeremy was familiarity for him. That was what he'd miss the most.
"It's only a week," Noah decided to reply.
"A week too long!" Jeremy replied as if he were in agony just thinking about it. "If I come back and my friends are all ten levels higher than me I'm gonna be pissed."
Noah chuckled. At least they both agreed that even a week away from school was too long a break.
Trey knew it was going to be awkward. This moment with Shawn. The moment where he packed to leave en route of his first break away from school. That was the main reason why he had tried to avoid it entirely.
Since he and Shawn were no longer exactly on speaking terms, it was hard for Trey to keep tabs on any sort of schedule that he might have had. Before when they were friends, Shawn spent most of his time with him. Not that this sort of thing would even have been a problem then.
Trey thought he'd picked the perfect opportunity to dip in and pack a few things and dip right out without having to be alone in the room with Shawn as he most likely did the same thing. Shawn seemed to be quite the popular guy lately. He wasn't expecting him back until much later. So it had completely surprised him when Shawn showed up with the obvious intention of also packing a few things for his own trip back home.
The packing was awkward because it was the first time other than sleeping or showering that Trey actually had to stay in the room. He couldn't go off to find Zoey or Grace. They were probably already gone anyway. It was one of the few times Trey wished that Shawn actually was listening to his music. That would have made things seem a little less...quiet.
Every now and then Trey would look over at Shawn who seemed to have this cocky air around him. Like he was back to thinking he was above Trey because he was straight again. Or whatever the deal was there. Trey had decided a while back that he didn't care anymore what his deal was. He just needed to get over it and get on with his life, he figured. Even if there was something inside him that really wanted to reconnect with Shawn.
At the moment, Trey was folding one of his sweatshirts while glancing over at Shawn who seemed to be acting like he didn't even have a roommate. It was actually starting to piss Trey off.
He sighed angrily and started folding more frantically to match. He didn't want to let his emotions just now start to get the best of him after all this time but there wasn't really much he could do about the way he was feeling.
He could almost feel the next argument coming as he started it.
"So how's it work for you anyway?" Trey started, still folding in anger.
Shawn glanced over at Trey before walking over to his bed and pulling a tank top off of it.
"What?" he asked.
"Pretending to be gay and then straight and then....what? You swear your life's a tv show."
"Really? You with this shit again-"
"You're an asshole, you know that?"
"Okay so to recap, I like to play the gay-straight game and YOU, you're the asshole. Can we drop this already?"
"I can't believe I actually might have thought-"
"What? You can't believe you might have thought what?"
Trey decided he didn't really want to say and didn't know what to do to get out of it. Lucky for him, Shawn seemed to be bored with the almost-argument already.
"Whatever," Shawn mumbled, before going back to his packing.
Trey felt angry and confused at the same time. It made him wish the school year would hurry up and completely finish so he wouldn't ever have to see Shawn again. Almost everything in him wanted that to really happen. But then, there were the nagging feelings in his heart. The ones that kept telling him that he knew better. That he'd never really want to not ever see Shawn again. He probably wouldn't be able to take that.
Despite the fact that Trey had a few things he wanted to say, things stayed quiet between them. Trey had a few things he wanted to take care of before he left and by the time he came back to the room, Shawn was gone. He couldn't really blame Shawn for making a quick getaway. He'd wanted to do the same thing himself.
Standing alone in the dorm room, he felt somewhat empty and discouraged. This was one of the things that should have made him happy. And entire week away from Shawn and all his problems.
But then, that was the problem he already knew was there. The week away from Shawn part. The week away from his problems with Noah. How was he supposed to get past everything away from them?
The only thing he could think about as he picked up his duffle bag and started out of his room, turning out the light and locking the door behind him, was that he certainly wasn't looking forward to the week ahead of him.
Jesse could honestly attest to having never been `on the prowl' before. That was because back in London, where everyone knew him, girls got into fights with each other just to be near him. He always loved that. It was one of the things he missed about home. He almost wished he were going back for the week off. But then he had to remember that if his brother would be there, then he certainly wasn't going to be there. Nicholas could have London as long as he stayed there.
Meanwhile Jesse had decided to find someone to settle with for the week. There had to be someone not going home for the week, provided they didn't stay in one of the dorm halls, he figured.
For some reason his search had brought him to Sorority Lane. It was almost like a slap in his face being back there after what happened with him and Amber. The only reason the entire situation bothered him at all was because he'd started to become quite fond of Amber. And for her to do to him what she did...
At the moment, things seemed strangely peaceful. It was still warm outside, a nice 70 or so degrees. It was quiet because most everyone was already gone for their week off. Jesse wasn't really sure what he was looking for other than to get out of the house and get some fresh air. A lonely co-ed or two wouldn't really bother him though.
He decided that the best way to avoid drudging up any more unpleasant memories of his time spent here that he'd take the back way that led to one of the other sorority houses. Amber was probably gone but he didn't want to chance it. She was after all completely mad and most likely wouldn't pass up the chance to show him so, he figured. He started down the alley leading towards the back parking lot of the sorority house he once called home, taking note of how empty the parking lot seemed to be.
What he wasn't counting on, however was running into Amber when he figured that was the last thing that would happen to him tonight. She was standing at her car, apparently looking over the engine like it was made of snakes and pimples. Seeing her defenseless, helpless and alone was just something that he just couldn't pass up, especially after what she'd done to him.
"Well, isn't this a lovely sight," he started as he approached Amber, who at first looked surprised to see him, then, annoyed.
"God, can this night get any worse?" Amber mumbled, rolling her eyes as Jesse crossed his arms and looked Amber over.
She was dirty, most likely from trying to do whatever she thought she could to fix her car and also looked a little tired despite her overall obviously annoyed manner.
"Car trouble, correct? Of course, I can completely see why, this thing's ancient!" Jesse remarked, looking over the navy blue Mazda Protégé with it's hood popped open.
"It's a 2003. And shut up and go away, I don't want you here," Amber replied before leaning back over the engine as if she actually suddenly knew what she was doing.
Jesse studied her for a moment before turning around and leaning his back against the car, facing the back of the sorority, which, for the most part, looked quite empty.
"So, where are Stacy and Heather this evening?"
He knew the most obvious answer to that but he decided that he was going to have fun with Amber.
"Gone. Just like everyone else and just like I'd be too if this stupid piece of shit worked!"
Jesse looked over at Amber as she started kicking at the car actually shrieking and jumping back when something she'd kicked caused a lid to open in one of the engines parts, spraying engine oil all over her.
Jesse actually jumped over to her and moved her out of the way, both of them falling on the ground.
"Oh god, get off of me!"
Jesse stood up, making no effort to help Amber up as he dusted himself off.
"You should be lucky dirt comes out at the cleaners. If that oil had gotten on me-"
"Like I give a damn about your clothes, Jesse. In case you haven't noticed, I'm having a crisis here!"
"Oh I noticed. And I'm amusing myself with it accordingly."
"Ugh," Amber scoffed before looking around, as if expecting someone to show up.
"So you're what, just gonna stay here for the holiday week then?" Jesse asked.
"What are you even doing here? Everybody's gone. Nobody wants to be your little sex slave tonight."
"Why Amber, I'm shocked and appalled at your illicit thinking of me. Women are slaves to my charm, not my body."
"Move!" Amber shouted, pushing past Jesse to get back at her obviously out-of-commission car.
Jesse grinned as he looked her over.
"You know, I have a car. And a limo but I'm afraid the son of Satan my parents adopted took it to the airport."
Amber looked the engine over, pretending to ignore Jesse.
"I suppose I could help you out. But then there's that whole me despising you thing-"
"The feeling's mutual, trust me," Amber replied.
Jesse realized that things could very well turn even more awkward between them fast if he let the silence he saw coming sink in. He never liked silence, which was why he was always talking about something. Even with his enemies.
He looked down at his watch. It was nearly seven. A little late to be out considering that it was winter which meant it got darker much earlier.
"So what are you going do then?"
"I don't know Jesse, alright? And why do you care anyway? You're the no feelings, not strings guy right?"
"What?"
"You don't even know how to fix a car."
"Well of course I don't know how to fix a car. When you have as much money as I do, knowing how to fix a car isn't exactly a skill you need acquire."
"Whatever, just....go away."
For a moment, Jesse was tempted to do just that. But then he remembered something. Amber had been the one to cut ties with him, not the other way around. It wasn't like he just all of a sudden stopped caring about her. And he did care about her. He just wasn't really ready to give into any sort of commitment like Amber wanted. If there was any chance of salvaging things with her, he had to try, at least one last time.
"You really want me to leave you all alone on Thanksgiving?"
Amber tuned around to face Jesse.
"Thanksgiving's not til next Thursday," she replied.
"Yes, I know, that was just a figure of...look, I can take you to....wait, where DO you live?"
"A few hours away from here. Why?"
Jesse nearly chocked when she said that. He barely knew where anything was and was almost ready to take her wherever with that lack of know-where. Still, Amber had a point earlier in saying he didn't know how to fix a car. He didn't exactly like admitting things he lacked if he didn't have to and he didn't want to do it again.
"Well I'd say you have a bit of cleaning up to do before we set out then."
"Wait. I'm not going anywhere with you," Amber objected.
Jesse shrugged and started back in the opposite direction.
"Okay wait," Amber called behind him.
Jesse stopped and turned around.
"A road trip. This ought to be interesting," he said.
Noah didn't know why he felt nervous. All he knew was that he felt nervous and he didn't like it. He didn't want to feel nervous in his own home, but that was the way he felt.
It was too quiet and he knew that could mean any number of things, most of them not good. His parents weren't exactly the quiet, stay at home on the weekdays kind of people. They weren't exactly `parents' in any respect.
He set his bag down by the front door and took of the jacket that he put on knowing he wouldn't need it, hanging it up on the coat rack to his left, before studying his surroundings. On top of being quiet it was also dark which forced him to have to look for a light.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he did after what happened.
"Surprise!"
People. Lots of random people. Then, his parents. And his brother. But a bunch of people came jumping out of nowhere, the lights flooded on and streamers went everywhere.
He heard them all call out `happy birthday' but when he didn't respond any kind of way and they all obviously noticed was when things grew quiet again.
His dad looked over at his mom nervously before starting towards him, roughly patting him on the back and chuckling with an overly annoying chuckle.
"Ha...happy birthday son," he said.
Noah looked around the room at everyone before shaking his dad's arms off his shoulders.
"It's not my birthday dad," he said, trying to keep his cool as he walked around all the random people, including his two friends Kaz and Sabrina in an effort to make it from the foyer to living room.
He heard whispering behind him before he noticed the familiar faces in the room come on either side of him as he sat down.
He had to try to keep his cool because there were so many things wrong with the current picture. For starters, it seemed a huge insult to him that his parents were throwing him a birthday party when his birthday was two months ago. They hadn't even called to wish him a happy birthday then. It was like they forgot they had a second son because they were either, a-too drunk to remember or b-just didn't care, whichever of the two shitty reasons that fit.
His parents were always having parties. The kind of parties that college kids in college threw, not two people with two kids each pushing 40. They ALWAYS got drunk during these parties and both did a lot of things they wound up having to apologize for the next day. Not to mention things other people did they'd also apologize for.
He wasn't sure what was worse now, though. The fact that they were dumping one of their most likely planned parties off on him and calling it a surprise birthday party. Or the fact that they'd tricked a bunch of people including his friends into believing that they actually cared two shits about him.
The silence in the room seemed to stay steady even as he noticed the faces around him looking like the didn't know what to do. He himself wasn't really sure what to do other than to try to contain his anger at all that was wrong with his being home.
"Noah, we know it's not your birthday son," his mother started. "But you never came home. We didn't get a chance to throw you a party."
"Didn't get that chance to wish me a happy birthday ON my birthday either, did you mom?" Noah asked, the sarcasm evident in his tone.
"Look, Noah," his dad started.
And Noah was use to it. His dad was an intimidating person. He worked more or less as a person who networked. Noah didn't know the details exactly but he just knew his dad knew a lot of people, which was one reason that explained why there always seemed to be someone new at each and every one of the parties he liked to throw.
"We worked hard setting this up. Don't be a little jackass-"
"Dad, maybe we should show Noah the cake," his older brother decided to interject.
Noah was almost amazed at how clear Bryce sounded. Because he was always high or worse he never really seemed to have a clear grasp of his surroundings.
It was enough to get him to look around at everyone once more. Some of them looked afraid. Others look nervous. Most of them just looked confused. Just because his family was screwed up didn't mean he had to be rude to everyone else.
"Alright," he started. "Where is it?"
His mom smiled as she and Bryce pranced off to go retrieve the cake from the kitchen as Kaz put a hand on his shoulder and looked around.
"How gay is this huh?" he asked as the both of them started back towards a table in the center of the foyer where he figured the cake was going to be put.
Noah looked around at all the bottles of beer in peoples hands and wondered how many it would take for most of them to start trashing things around the house. That and where the hell half of them even came from.
"Okay," his mom said as she and Bryce set the cake down in the center of the table.
His dad walked around to the other side and stood behind him, putting a hand on one of his shoulders before taking a swig of his beer.
Noah hated how fake everything fake. That was because it was fake. All of it was completely fake and he had no idea why it was happening. He was home for Thanksgiving not his two-months-too-late birthday.
"So make a wish and then blow out the candles," Bryce spoke.
"What no gay happy birthday shit first?" Kaz asked.
"Shut up, asshole!" Sabrina interjected.
Noah felt a bit overwhelmed but decided to do it anyway, if only not to cause a major scene with how uncomfortable he felt. The people around him clapped and cheered as they all started talking amongst each other and going off into different directions. Some stayed for some of the cake however, which his mother started cutting up into pieces for everyone.
"So how is that school by the way Noah?" she asked, obviously trying to start small talk amidst the growing loudness of the party. "You don't call, you don't visit. I don't know anything about your life anymore."
Noah was tempted to respond that she didn't ever know anything about his life but decided against it. Then he had to actually stop and think about how things had actually been going for him thus far. He'd been in school nearly an entire semester and had yet to do any of the things he said he'd do.
He wanted to become a completely different person. Admittedly, he'd tried. He'd tried for Trey's sake. But then Trey went and threw all that back in his face by stringing him along all while sitting on the information that he'd slept with Shawn the whole time. That was the kind of stuff he had to go through in high school before he stopped putting up with it. Those trivial, childish games that people played and went through in an effort to prove something to the person they so called liked. So he'd pretty much wasted all his time accept for recently.
"Grades are fine," he decided to reply, since he had a feeling that's what she'd be the most concerned with anyway.
"Good, good. I don't wanna spend twenty grand a year on some dumb little shit," his dad grumbled from behind him.
That's what they had Bryce for, Noah wanted to say. Bryce wasn't really dumb. He just didn't try to be anything. Noah didn't want to be like him. Not anymore.
"Hey Noah, you found a girlfriend?" Bryce asked.
"Umm..."
"Back up non older brother. These are questions his friends get to ask him-"
"You want me to kick your fucking emo ass bitch?"
"Guys, guys," Noah interjected.
"Seriously though," Sabrina started once Bryce and Kaz calmed down. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Noah had no one. He'd stopped talking to Grace and Zoey for the time being in order to avoid running into Trey as much as possible and of course Trey was completely out of the question. He wasn't antisocial, so he did always have people to talk to. He had actually started talking to this one guy pretty regularly. Anthony. He was a music major as well. A senior. They actually had a lot in common. But of course, at the end of the day, he wasn't Trey.
And none of that had anything to do with having a girlfriend.
"Common, let's go consult the magic teapot for answers," Kaz spoke.
Noah knew that Kaz loved to give weird names to his favorite thing to do, smoking pot. He wasn't exactly a pot head, but of everyone Noah knew, Kaz smoked the most.
Sabrina wrapped one arm in between Noah's and started leading him towards the back where his room was, following Kaz's lead.
"Good to have you home bro," Bryce called after him.
If home was Stepford, Noah thought.
"Any requests for dinner?" Shawn's mom asked.
Shawn was in his room, sitting in a quiet peacefulness just thinking to himself about a lot of things. Things he knew he shouldn't have been thinking about but was anyway.
He sat up in his computer desk chair as his mom entered his room.
"How about that spaghetti with penne shells and beef you love," she suggested, sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Yeah, sound's good," Shawn replied.
It was quiet because he wasn't on his computer for a change. Or on his phone. Or out and about on campus. It was weird and so unlike his norm.
Also his dad was at work. He worked from 2 to 10 Tuesday through Saturday. He was actually glad about that. He and his dad had never really been close. Shawn was so used to coming to his mom or Ben for everything that he rarely ever needed to consult his father for anything. And because of that, they were almost like two people who happened to live together rather than father and son.
Ben.
Just thinking about him made him feel a little like knots were growing inside his chest. Sure he missed him but he was more concerned with the information he knew. Ben had always been like a brother to him. He had a key to their house and Shawn had a key to Ben's house. They were always over each other's houses whenever they were together. His parents treated Ben almost the same way they treated him. And for that reason, it was safe to say that Ben was like a member of his family.
Ben knew all the same people he knew as well. Now that Ben knew that he was gay, or at least had slept with Trey, he was a little worried about who Ben might tell that information to now that they were both home. He was pretty sure his mother didn't know anything or she would have said something by now. And the last person he wanted to know that information was his father. He was worried his dad might not want him to ever come back home or worse.
"No Ben tonight? I thought you two were joined at the hip?" his mom spoke.
Shawn sighed.
"He's...out," he lied.
He didn't keep up with Ben anymore. He didn't even know if he'd made it home yet.
"Well, I'll make some for him too in case he stops by later," his mom replied, standing up and heading to the door.
Shawn waited until she was almost gone before a few words slipped out his mouth.
"Hey mom? I love you," he replied.
"I love you too, sweetheart," she smiled before leaving.
Shawn felt like he had to get her to know that. Because if the bad feeling he had was any indication about things to come, he knew that that would be the least of his problems.
Possible gunshots, drunken catcalls, prostitutes working their corners and drug deals going down all outside and yet Trey was more afraid of being inside.
The last time he'd made the mistake of coming home for the weekend his mother had surprised him by not telling him about the new tenant they had living in the upstairs apartment. It was bad enough that LaTario was a wannabe gang banger by himself but the fact that he knew Grace's ex boyfriend, Dro, made him that much more frightening.
The last time Trey had come into contact with Dro happened be the first and last time someone had ever tried to kill him. Granted it had been just a simple beating that occurred but the fact that Dro and his lowlife friends had left him in the school fountain to die proved exactly what kind of person Dro was.
So, to recap, there was a gang banger or the like LIVING with his mother and him temporarily who just so happened to be friends with the guy that left him for dead. There was more danger inside for him personally than there was outside.
And he was stuck. For an entire week. The only friends he had, both of them girls, were each at their own houses with their own families. He knew no one here that he could go chill with at their house or spend hours away from home with to avoid Dro and LaTario.
Then again, he didn't want his mother spending any time alone with them if he could help it and the tiniest part inside of him was actually happy that he was home for that reason alone.
He had to think back to what he normally did before starting college. He never had friends so that kept him home. And his mom always wanted him to focus on his studies and never wanted him to get a job so that also kept him home. He wasn't a big t.v. person and only ever watched it if he was really bored. He normally read books or played the PlayStation 2 he'd gotten for his birthday a couple years back, and even that he didn't play often. He was, pretty much, a boring individual. Before and now.
He really didn't know what to do. Which was probably the reason why he was still standing at the front door. He'd gotten home half an hour previously and was just standing at the front door, in the dimly lit living room corridor, thinking. Mostly about how badly he screwed up one of the only good things in his life, his friendships with Shawn and Noah.
The only thing that managed to snap him out of this was the rustling around he heard coming from above him, which actually sounded like it was getting closer.
Trey panicked slightly. He was the type of person that hated answering phones or doors for fear of having to deal with anybody. He normally liked to hide or pretend he was sleep whenever his mother had company over. Even though his people skills had increased dramatically, that still didn't mean he wanted to deal with LaTario and possibly even Dro.
He reached down for his bag and picked it up, accidentally dropping it when he heard footsteps starting down the stairs.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself as he reached down for his bag again.
He knew he couldn't make a beeline for him room and tried to think of somewhere he could go. All he could come up with, however, was the kitchen. He started towards it but stopped when he realized he was too late.
They were here. Both of them. Dro and LaTario. Both looked surprised to see him even though Dro was grinning as he started to circle him.
"You Trey right?" LaTario asked.
"Uh..." Trey mumbled, keeping his eyes pinned on Dro's circling of him.
"I'm good with names, son," LaTario replied.
"Say don't talk to this nigga. His ass is the reason I ain't getting pussy from Grace no more," Dro spoke.
"Yo, for real?" LaTario asked, sounding surprised.
"I told you right, I had to step to him," Dro replied.
"I have, I have ah-"
"What?" Dro asked, stopping Trey as he tried to get to the stairs.
Trey stared into Dro's eyes, whose face was no less than a good three inches from his face.
"Things..." Trey replied slowly.
Trey wasn't liking where things were headed but wasn't really sure what to do about it. Fortunately for him, Dro backed up when all three of them realized that someone was coming through the back door.
Trey breathed a sigh of relief and looked towards the back as the light in the kitchen turned on.
"Mama!" Trey called out, happy to see his mother.
"Baby?" his mom asked, setting her purse down. "When'd you get here?"
Trey hugged his mom and tried to let go after a few seconds but realized that his mom wasn't quite finished hugging him.
"I'm so happy to see you baby. You need to come by more often, I miss your beautiful face."
Trey could hear snickering in the living room. Apparently his mom had heard it to.
"Boy get on in here!" she called out.
"Yes ma'am," LaTario responded, promptly appearing in the kitchen.
If there was one thing Trey knew about people like Dro and LaTario was that they always knew better when it came to mothers and church. Mother's especially.
"DroVaughn how are you this evening?" his mom asked, walking over to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.
"I'm fine ma'am," Dro replied.
Trey knew better than to laugh at hearing Dro's real name. He probably thought he was clever shortening it to the nickname for expensive weed.
LaTario and Dro both took seats at the kitchen table, Trey feeling a little amused at seeing them actually behaving for a change.
"Mama, are you off or something?" Trey asked, taking a seat as well, turning his chair so that he could see his mother.
"Naw, boy, they let me off early. I think it's gonna happen all week too, praise the lord," she replied, beginning to dry her hands.
Trey looked over at LaTario and Dro who looked like they were trying to mimic what they thought the perfect angel should look like. It was all more than a little amusing for him to see.
"So, how is school baby?"
"Well," Trey started before looking over at Dro who actually was looking down at the floor, a little nervous looking as well. "Fine. I made friends."
"That's good. That's really good," his mom spoke, obviously happy just to see her only child.
It was silent for a few moments before him mom all of a sudden spoke up.
"So boys, will you two be staying here for the holiday week?"
"Yes ma'am," the both replied simultaneously much to Trey's chagrin.
"I see," she replied. "You both know my son right? You met last time he was here?"
"Yes ma'am," they both replied in unison once again.
Trey looked over at both of them, tempted to ask them something just to see them have to answer and be polite to him just because his mother was here. But he knew better than that.
"Well you know it's just gonna be us this year," his mom started. "The family...well, I don't need to talk about that. Go wash your hands boys. You're gonna help me cook dinner."
"Yes ma'am," they both replied, before they started towards the bathroom to wash their hands.
"You want me to help mama?" Trey asked.
"Naw boy, go rest up. See your room and everything. You're on vacation this week," his mom replied.
Which only had Trey asking himself who his mother was trying to kid. He knew his time home would be far from a vacation.
"Why of course I've never heard of the Fall Out Boys," Jesse replied. "I listen to GOOD music, I'm afraid."
"It's not Fall Out Boys, it's Fall Out Boy, retardo," Amber fumed.
"It's what I said, wasn't it?" Jesse replied.
There was a silence amongst them as Jesse concentrated on his driving. He wasn't really used to it, driving. He normally had a chauffer drive him around her and in London. That wasn't to say he didn't know HOW to drive. There was just some trouble in learning to adjust to the steering wheel being on the opposite side.
And of course he had to think about who he was driving around. Miss Daisy Amber was not and she seriously was beginning to test his last never what with her constant distracting him while he was driving. It almost made him wish he hadn't agreed to take her home after all.
"How much further anyway?" Jesse asked, annoyed.
"How should I know?" Amber replied.
"I'm sorry, are we NOT going to your house then?" Jesse asked, trying to keep from blowing a gasket.
"Like I'd want you to see where I live," Amber replied.
"You're the crazy one, not me, love."
"How am I crazy, Jesse? You're so weird."
Jesse just continued driving, trying to keep from shouting before deciding that he just wasn't really that big a fan of silence.
"Do me a favor and promise not to procreate. What am I saying? Who'd want you?"
"I'd argue if I knew what that meant. And you're not as hot as you think you are either. I mean, okay, you're hot and all, but you're not Channing Tatum fucking Chris Evans hot."
"I'm British. By default that trumps pinheaded American any day."
Amber reached over to turn the radio to another station.
"Don't touch the radio, love," Jesse replied, swatting at Amber's hands.
"I'm sorry but I don't like uncomfortable atmospheres. I'll kick you out of the car you know."
Jesse looked over at Amber.
"Now there's a novel idea. Kill us both! Two birds with one airheaded stone!"
"Stones aren't made from air. You're totally mocking me, I know you are-"
"Because that's so easy to do, isn't it? You make it so easy for everyone, now don't you?"
Amber looked of a Jesse before reaching over and giving him a good hard slap.
"Jesus Christ! For the love of GOD, what the HELL was that for?" he asked, nearly going berserk.
"I don't know, I always wanted to slap some guy. They do it all the time on tv."
"This isn't tv sweetheart, it's reality! Not that you know anything about that."
Amber reached over and slapped Jesse again.
"Bloody hell! Are you crazy?"
"That one was all me," Amber smugly smiled. "Pull over, I'm hungry."
Jesse rubbed his face as he continued driving.
"Do you see any stores around here?" he asked.
Amber looked out the window.
"No, it's too dark. Where are we?" she asked.
"You tell me, were going to YOUR house!"
Amber titled her head at Jesse before deciding that she was till hungry.
"Okay, you can pull over and get out. I'll drive myself there AFTER I get something to eat. Trying to starve a girl..."
"Are you mad? This is MY car. And I'll say it again, there aren't any places nearby. Were like in the fricking middle of nowhere which is hard for me to say when the entire state is made of nowhere places."
"Pull OVER Jesse!" Amber exclaimed.
"I'll do no such thing and you can shut up now, I am driving after all."
"Pull over!"
"No!"
Amber reached for the wheel like a woman possessed to which Jesse promptly pushed her back. In response, Amber slapped Jesse again, catching him off guard to which Amber tried for the wheel again. Jesse managed to grab a hold of one of her arms with his free arm before realizing that he had no hands on the wheel. By the time he'd gotten his hands on the wheel, the car had already started navigating itself off of the street, completely driving straight down into a ditch on the left.
"Grab your things!" Jesse exclaimed.
"What?" Amber asked.
Jesse reached back to grab Ambers two bags before throwing them out the window.
"Hey, what the hell-"
"Shutup!" Jesse shouted, before pushing Amber out of the car and jumping out himself. He rolled a few times before bumping into Amber. Both of them managed to sit up in enough time to see the car drive straight into a lake and start a slow descent to the bottom.
"I SO don't do dirty floors, Jesse!" Amber exclaimed. "Thanks for that."
"Alright then, next time I'll leave you INSIDE the car," Jesse replied, standing up completely meaning the words. He started dusting himself off, neglecting to help Amber up.
"All these weird adventures you get me into," Jesse continued. "You're completely bad for me."
"Me? You're the GUY who wanted to stay in a sorority," Amber replied, dusting herself off as well.
"Name one straight guy that wouldn't want that," Jesse replied.
Realizing he had a point, Amber promptly shut up.
Jesse looked down at the lake.
"That car was a gift. From Nicholas Cage when he came to London," he said. "Oh well, I have another back at home."
"Good for spoiled you, huh?" Amber asked, distaste in her voice as she started making her way up the hill they come down.
"Hey, I'm not carrying your bags for you!" Jesse called after her.
"Yes you are!"
Noah had pretty much been correct in his predictions for how his week leading up to Thanksgiving would play out. His parents would pretend to give a damn about him for all of two seconds before going back to what they were good at, getting drunk, throwing parties and forgetting they had two sons.
Bryce went back to his romancing the ladies of the evening, the girls he played for gifts and money so that he wouldn't have to work a day in his pathetic life. And his two best friends, or at least old best friends, talked about everything that was going on in the neighborhood because they'd been too lazy to care about getting into college.
All of it had just made him wish that much more that he was back where he felt the most complete and comfortable, college. Sure he was at odds with people he cared about, but even that was better than his current situation.
His family was weird when it came to the holidays. They normally celebrated them when they were remembered. If his parents were too drunk to remember it was Thanksgiving, they'd skip it. Some years the celebrated. Others, they didn't. They almost always celebrated Christmas, however. Everyone pretty much celebrated Christmas. At least that he knew of.
He was somewhat surprised that this happened to be one of the times that they seemed to be celebrating Thanksgiving. It also happened to be one of the times where he could have cared less whether it was going to happen or not. All he wanted to do was go home. This place he was at with these people was no longer his home.
Thanksgiving was supposed to be all about remembering what you were thankful for. Or at least Noah always thought as much. Yet he was having trouble remembering stuff like that when he surrounding by constant sources of disappointment and let downs for him.
Was he supposed to be thankful that the only friends he had left at home were two people who'd end up working at McDonald's the rest of their lives? Was he supposed to be thankful that his once popular and smart brother turned out to be a lazy freeloader with nothing to aspire to? Was he supposed to be thankful that his parents were systematically destroying all their brain cells at least three nights a week?
And those were just the problems at home.
"No one's coming?" Noah asked, as he stood behind the chair he'd be sitting in for dinner.
The rest of his family was okay. He just never really saw them that much. The ones that didn't come to Thanksgiving, whenever they had it, usually came for Christmas. Noah finally realized that the rest of his family members were trying to distance themselves from the ones he got stuck with.
He wished he could do the same, permanently.
"What do you think?" Bryce replied, sounding agitated an annoyed.
Noah watched his mother swat his father's hand away from the turkey as he stood behind his own chair. There was, of course, a beer in the other hand.
The one good thing he could say about his dad was that even though he drunk a lot, it was never enough for him to do something stupid like beat him, his brother or mom. Just stupid enough to get drunk, act like a total psycho and pass out, apparently.
Still though, he seemed to remember him mentioning something about cutting back on all the alcohol consumption. He HAD just turned 40 not too long ago after all. It was about time.
"Tomorrow, right dad?" he asked, nodding down at the beer in his hand.
His dad looked down at the bottle before flashing him a disapproving frown and taking a swig anyway.
Noah chuckled to himself. He figured as much. He knew better than to count on any of them for anything.
"Okay, I think that's everything," his mother spoke, having a seat. "We can start."
"Good cuz I got a date," Bryce spoke, sitting down next to Noah.
"You have a date on Thanksgiving?" Noah asked.
"What is this 20 Questions the home version?" Bryce replied, defensively.
"No, it was one question," Noah replied.
"Just fix your plate and squash it," his dad sighed, dumping some mash potatoes and gravy onto his own plate.
No saying grace before they ate, which didn't surprise Noah. His family had never been religious people. They only ever went to church maybe once a year, if he was lucky.
No talking about what they were all thankful for. That did surprise Noah. With all the insanely stupid things his family did, he knew that at the very least, they should all be thankful just to be alive.
In fact, the whole dinner just felt cold. It made him uncomfortable. Not that he'd been comfortable since he'd been home. He just wanted to go back to school, a place he actually did feel comfortable. With people he did feel were more like family to him.
The only thing his so called `vacation' had told him was that if he could help it, he was never coming back.
Sitting there, watching various plates and bowls being passed around, Shawn was having a hard time trying to think back to how things came to this point.
Then he remembered, things were always this way. Every Thanksgiving. Where either he and his family went to Ben's for Thanksgiving dinner or they came over to his house. Apparently, this was the year where they came over to his house.
It was all just a little more than he could take. Having not only his family but Ben's over as well was more than a little nerve-wracking for him because he knew that at any given moment, his comfortable home life and life in general could come crashing down if Ben told them all what he knew.
By now Shawn was almost positive Ben hadn't told anyone anything. Ben hadn't even called or stopped by once since they'd been home, which didn't really surprise him as they weren't exactly as close as they used to be. He was expecting Ben to try to get out of having to come over at all costs before resorting to telling his parents exactly why he didn't want to come over, who would then tell his parents and then proceed to begin with the ruining of his life.
But none of that happened. Everyone seemed to be happy. Ben seemed to be very neutral about the entire thing. He couldn't tell if he was angry or sad or what. No one had seemed to notice how little either of them were saying to each other either. Then again, this wasn't the first time he and Ben had fought. Since they were like brothers, they got into all kinds of arguments that resulted in them not talking to each other at times like this. Shawn figured they all probably though that was what was going on, even though it was far from the truth.
Overall he didn't know how to take it or what to do even. It all just made him very uncomfortable. That was new for him since he'd never felt uncomfortable in his own home before, even with the awkwardness that was him being around his father.
Every now and then Shawn would look over to try to catch Ben's eye. Sometimes it would work and he'd actually stare back, looking like he had a lot to say before he'd look away. Other times he could tell Ben was intentionally avoiding looking him in the eyes. He wasn't sure which was worse.
"Everything is great. We should get the recipe before we leave, Robert," Shawn could hear Ben's mom saying to his dad.
"Oh great. So she can go home and do some MORE cooking," Ben's dad replied, obviously talking to Shawn's father.
Even though neither of their families were exactly rich, they did live in a pretty nice neighborhood, gated and everything. Ben's mom was a stay at home mom and for as long as Shawn had known Ben, always had been. Ben's dad was some kind of contractor who pretty much made enough money for them all to semi-comfortably live on.
He didn't pay too much attention to the details beyond that. As long as he'd always been happy, he never paid attention. He just wished he was happy now.
"Oh, I forgot to set up a Tivo for Will and Grace," Ben's said. "I don't know why they always play new episodes on Thanksgiving."
"Oh don't worry, it's recording here," Shawn's mom replied.
"What is it with women and all these gay shows?" his dad started, which made Shawn completely panic.
He looked over at him, afraid to hear what was coming next.
"The lead actors are great, don't start hun," his mom replied.
"A bunch a fruitcakes on that show. No straight man is ever gonna agree to pretend like he's a fag for some show," his dad continued, making Shawn wish he'd just stop.
"I agree," Shawn was shocked to hear Ben chime in. "Those type of shows should all be on one channel so we don't have to see em. It gets hard to keep track of em all this way."
"Oh god," Shawn mumbled under his breath.
"Look at you two agreeing on something so silly. I'd play anything if they were paying me the salaries those actors are getting. It's just a show," his mom spoke up.
"Yeah well it's like Mr. Wright says, those people have to be gay to play gay," Ben replied. "Who likes fags anyway? I don't."
"Can we please stop talking about gay people and get back to dinner?" Shawn's mom spoke.
Shawn knew he probably shouldn't have but he couldn't help staring at Ben anyway. There were so many thoughts and emotions running through him. Most of him wanted to get up and run. Run anywhere, just away from the table. But he knew better than that because it would look to suspicious and would be the perfect time for Ben to admit what he knew.
It was actually surprising to him to hear his father speak the way he was speaking though. His dad wasn't really a man of many words but to hear him be so vocal about something that was obviously at least some part of his life was strange. If anyone, Shawn always figured his mom was okay with gay people. He never really knew what his dad thought about them.
Now he did.
And it hurt. He didn't know why he felt like it hurt. All he knew was that it hurt and was strange and painful and he almost couldn't breathe.
Then he started thinking about whether of not if this was how things were going to be from now on. His dad despising gay people not even knowing that his own son was one of them with Ben cheering him on. And it would only be worse if he really did know and everyone was on his side.
Mostly it just made him wish he was back at school, away from all the pressure. At least there he knew he could be who he wanted to be and would have people standing by him. At least there he felt more like he had a family.
All he really wanted to do was run. Run as fast as he could back to school and never look back.
"Well, I see your parents are doing quite well for themselves," Jesse said as he looked out the cab window at Amber's house.
A strange girl was, Jesse had realized once again. As it turned out, Amber lived more than `a few' hours away from the school. She lived so far away they were almost better off taking a plane, he figured. It was bad enough she lived that far away and neglected to tell him about it before he agreed to drive her home and wrecked his car in the process. But the fact that she didn't seem to have absolutely ANY idea WHATSOEVER where she lived was even worse.
As Jesse learned, Amber barely drove. As in not really at all, which posed the question what she was even doing with a car at school in the first place. Then he found out that Amber did next to no driving around in her actual hometown which left her with no idea how to get from point A to point B. She never once tried to call anybody she knew to get real directions and because of that, Jesse couldn't ask for directions or look them up somewhere if he had no idea where she really could have lived.
To shorten the already long story, they spent four days driving left and right and in all kinds of circles before Amber finally got her wits about her and realized they were around enough familiar places for her to remember where she lived.
She was a complete handful for Jesse, but strangely, he almost didn't mind. They argued constantly and practically tried to destroy each other but there was something about her that Jesse found comforting. Then again, he figured some of that had to do with being around her nonstop the past four and a half days.
"You didn't think I came off the street somewhere did you?" Amber asked getting out of the cab.
"Actually-"
"Actually, shut up," Amber cut him off starting towards the house.
Jesse squinted at her before reaching up to the front of the cab and handing the driver a fifty dollar bill.
"Bring these bags up for us will you mate?"
Jesse got out of the cab and started behind Amber while looking around.
The house was rather large. Two stories, but extremely spacious. The thing that impressed him the most was the size of the front yard, which extended on either side of a long walkway in the middle leading to the front of the house. Even though it was late November the grass was the brightest shade of green he'd ever seen, indicating that someone obviously knew a thing or two about proper lawn care. There were also several extremely large trees on either side of the house rustling in the cold air. It was already about 5 or so o'clock and near dark outside. There was a porch light on at the front door.
Overall it was exactly the kind of place he was used to back in London. Something big and nice.
"Your parents aren't members of a cultist terrorist group are they?" Jesse asked, walking next to Amber.
"Yeah, okay," Amber replied sarcastically. "We're not even Indian."
"Okay, wow that's racist," Jesse replied. "And don't you mean Middle Eastern?"
Amber just continued walking as Jesse looked around.
Both of them stopped when they got to the front door.
"I'm not gonna ask you to stay you know," Amber replied. "We're not friends."
"We're not even acquaintances, love," Jesse replied. "Like I'd want to stay HERE anyway when I'm sure there's a nice spa or something somewhere with my name written all over it."
"Spas have their own names, and don't stand so close to me. I don't want my parents to think were together or anything."
"Yes because then they'd wonder why you stopped aiming so low."
Jesse and Amber waited after Amber pressed the doorbell. Jesse could hear the sounds of lots of voices coming from inside. Most of which sounded happy. That and he could also smell food now that he thought about it. He didn't know what but it smelled good whatever it was.
"Amber! Baby!" a tall blonde woman who was obviously her mother spoke pulling her daughter into a hug.
"Hey sweetheart," greeted a finely groomed man who looked no older than 30 spoke, also hugging her.
"New outfit?" her mom asked.
"Duh," Amber replied.
"Love it," her mom replied.
"I know," Amber replied.
"Uh, whose this? Your boyfriend?" her dad asked.
Amber looked over at Jesse.
"Um he's just, some guy. Do I smell turkey?" Amber started.
"Have you been with him the past four days you were supposed to be home? Oh my god, you aren't pregnant now are you?" her mom asked.
"We didn't even have sex mom," Amber replied. "His name's Jesse. My car broke down and he drove me here. Before we got a cab after we got lost."
"We'll talk about that later," Amber's dad replied. "So you go to school with Amber then?"
"Not just that," Jesse started. "But I'm a celebrity. Would you like me to sign something?"
Amber's parents exchanged glances, no one speaking before all of a sudden there were loud shrieks of excitement coming closer towards them all.
"Oh my god Amber! Oh my god!"
"Oh my god!" Amber shouted rushing into the house to hug two girls who looked like they could have easily been sisters in her sorority.
"We totally missed you," one of them spoke.
"I know," Amber replied.
"Totally love the outfit," the other said.
"Thanks bitch," Amber replied.
"So, will you be staying or..." Amber's dad asked.
Jesse could see from where he stood outside that there appeared to be several people inside the house, probably friends and family members.
He WAS hungry and part of him wanted to take him up on his offer. But seeing Amber talking with her friends so excitedly surrounded by family members that actually gave two shits about her to actually spend time together on a holiday, he felt that had to be something special. Something he didn't want to ruin by sticking around and getting into more arguments with her.
At least one of them needed to be happy for the holiday.
"No, I believe I have an appointment," Jesse replied.
"Okay, well it was nice to meet you then, Jesse," Amber's mother spoke.
"I agree. It was nice to meet you both as well. You have a lovely home and daughter."
"Take care and happy Thanksgiving," Amber's mom spoke as Jesse started back towards the cab.
And that was that Jesse realized. His little adventure with Amber was over. When he stopped to think about it, it had actually given him something to do. They may not have exactly been good times but at least he was spending legitimate time with someone.
And now he was alone, just like he always was at the end of the day. At least at school he felt less alone. All he knew was that he couldn't wait to get back to his newfound comfort zone.
"How fast can you get me back to Dallas and or the nearest Sushi restaurant, Fred?" Jesse asked as he climbed back into the taxi that had brought him here.
Trey had probably never actually said the words `I wish I was home' in his life more than he had since being at home. It wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Since his mother had gotten off of work early from her second job she was normally at home by four every day meaning Trey never really had to spend entire days alone with Dro and LaTario.
Not that it mattered anyway, as they were always out and about. When they did happen to be home, they always found a way to not only let him know it but that they wanted to kick the shit out if him, in so many words. Not that he figured they'd actually do it, which didn't really give him much to worry about.
All that had pretty much reaffirmed to him that the university was now his home and that every other place was more or less uncomfortable for him. Especially when he was surrounded by familiar faces. All he had here were the cold dangerous streets outside his windows and the uncomfortable atmosphere inside them with Dro and LaTario around.
And of course today was Thanksgiving and he was currently involved with Thanksgiving dinner. It was only him, his mother, Dro and LaTario, who apparently didn't have families they could spend the holiday with. He wished they did. He really, really wished they did. Then he wouldn't have to be looking at the both of them while he was trying to eat his dinner.
"Boy don't touch that until we say grace," his mom spoke, swatting at Dro's trying to pick up one of the rolls on the table.
"Yes ma'am," he apologized.
"Alright, grab hands," his mom said, holding out both of hers.
"Um, mama-"
"Boy do what I told you," his mom spoke firmly.
Trey sighed and reached over to grab, thankfully but not really, LaTario's hand.
He lowered his head and closed his eyes as him mom said grace. Before she was finished she noted a few things she was thankful for before telling LaTario to do the same. Trey listened as LaTario mentioned a few mundane things he was thankful for as well as a few vaguely inappropriate things that caused Dro to snicker before it was Dro's turn himself. He pretty much did the same thing.
"Alright baby, what are you thankful for?" his mom asked.
He'd thought about that already. A lot in his life was going wrong but at the very least at least he could be thankful that he was alive. He knew things could definitely be a hundred times worse for him.
But while he wanted to be thankful for all that he did have, all he could think about were the two things that he didn't have. He didn't have Noah in his life anymore and Shawn was at odds with him.
Those were the two things he really wanted but was afraid he ruined for himself.
"I'm thankful for second chances," Trey finally decided to reply.
Because even though he wanted to go back to school, where he felt more comfortable, Thanksgiving had done one thing for him. It made him realize that he really could work things out with Noah and Shawn.
After all, they were his family too.
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Copyright 2006