Disclaimer: The following story contains activity that would be considered of homosexual nature between consenting college students. While none of it crosses into a gratuitous nature, if such material is offensive to you or you are not of the legal age to read such material in your area, please do not. Other than that, please enjoy the story!
The Living Years
Chapter 25 "This Is the Impossible Madness"
"Because not everything is as black and white as you like to think it is" Noah shouted.
"I don't think everything is black and white, Noah, I just like to think more practically and this is insane!" Trey shouted back.
One of them would win this shouting match, witnesses and all.
"Guys, calm down-"
"Don't stop them Zoey, not after what we found out about you," Sierra said, with crossed arms and a sly grin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoey asked.
"Can we please try to get a little order back in here please?" Grace asked. "Guys...come on!"
"You know what, maybe if you stopped thinking about everything before you do it and actually live a little, you'd have a little more ground to stand on before you make all these baseless comments."
"If I didn't think about everything I'd be walking around like some emotional gorilla who doesn't share things with people!" Trey shouted back.
"Guys!" Grace shouted.
"Seriously, what's that supposed to mean?" Zoey asked.
"Guys!" Grace tried again.
"Don't I get a say in all this?" Dylan asked.
"Shut up Dylan!" everyone shouted in unison, not realizing that was all he could think to come up with such a limited amount of breath. With it fading with each passing second, he could see the room in front of him spinning slowly into one jumbled mess of colors until things were starting to become just black.
"Perfect, perfect this all about you again isn't it?" Noah asked. "Because the Trey I know, isn't happy unless he's got a little drama going on in his life!"
"Hey don't talk to him like that!" Shawn decided to step in.
"Back the fuck off Shawn before I make you!" Noah shouted.
"I can't deal with this," Dylan mumbled before falling back from the seat he was planted firmly in and onto the ground, bringing the various shouting matches occurring in the room to a complete standstill.
24 Hours Ago
"Ah the avoidance game," Zoey said as if recalling some fond memory. "I know it well. Danced around it a few times myself with my boyfriend. Word of advice, if he starts talking about wanting to fulfill any lifelong dreams of becoming an artist, don't let him. You'll never see him again."
"God you talk a lot," Sierra said, stealing a pancake off of Zoey's plate and dumping it onto her own. "You weren't gonna eat that, were you?"
Committing to the Pink Panther's apparently required that its members meet every spare chance they had as Grace wanted everyone to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Which wasn't that bad before factoring in all the different people who simply despised one another.
But sensing that she was still fragile, everyone decided to humor their friend for the time being and attend her little gatherings for the past three days, even if they were a bit grating, more so for certain people.
"All I'm saying is that one of you is gonna have to do the apologizing first so you can get to talking," Zoey said, stealing her pancake back. "And yes girl who serves no other purpose than to steal people's food, I am gonna eat that."
"Fine, whatever," Sierra sighed deeply, obviously annoyed. "Someone around here has to care about their skin. And ass."
Trey knew that they were only trying to console him but he wasn't quite sure his two straight girl friends knew exactly what they were talking about when it came to him and his issues with Noah. It was true that ever since their date, which they walked home from in complete silence, they'd pretty much spent the past three days avoiding each other. Which was hard considering they still lived together. For the time being, Trey had decided to take turns crashing with Zoey and Grace, neither of whom seemed to mind.
Trey was on the outs with both Noah and Shawn again and this time he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He wasn't sure whether to blame himself and attempt to make things right on his own or see how they worked out if he left everything alone. The only thing he was sure of was that he missed Noah and wished there was some way to fast track to the part where they got to sleep together again.
"Is this how it's gonna be with you?" Sierra asked after swallowing a mouthful of pancake. "You're always gonna be the guy with options but never a solid decision one way or the other? Indecisive? I mean, do you wanna end up alone?"
"Because you know him so well right?" Zoey asked. "What are you even doing here anyway? Don't you have some sorority sisters you can go exchange beauty secrets with?"
"Believe it or not there's more to me than you think," Sierra replied, briefly looking over at Jesse and Amber eating together spending more time eyeing Jesse in particular.
"Well, anyway, if we could just talk about the Pink Panther's for one quick second," Grace interjected.
Only it hadn't really been one quick second with Grace or quick at all so far. The club was obviously her new baby and until she was ready to let it go and be itself for a while, everyone was going to have to hear about it all the time for as much as and as long as she wanted.
"I thought we could put up some flyers around campus today, get our name out there," Grace continued.
"I'm not exactly sure pink and gay are two things people really want to see plastered all around everywhere in their faces, Grace," Zoey lulled.
"And? You act like I give a fuck. Gay ain't some new street drug, it's a way of life. And these are good people. We're building a damn house if that counts for anything."
"It does, Grace," Zoey said. "Just remember we are all still in school with classes and stuff."
"Yeah, yeah, kay," Grace replied, with a hint of class being an afterthought in her mind as she took out a notebook from her backpack.
"Who wants more pancakes?" Sierra asked, standing up and heading towards the buffet bar in the cafeteria before anyone could respond to her.
"With that gone, we can talk. Scoot over emo girl," Amber spoke, joining Grace, Trey and Zoey, Jesse behind her.
"I apologize in advance for any inconveniences this one's presence is causing," Jesse spoke, sounding a bit like Amber was slowly draining his youthful spirit. "I haven't quite been able to rid myself of it yet."
"I'm not some VD you caught Jesse, I'm your girlfriend-"
"That's highly debatable love, we shant be spreading lies around campus anymore," Jesse clarified.
Not quite sure if they were finished or not, Grace and Zoey looked between the two of them before Grace decided to start speaking again.
"Anyway, breakfast aside, I think we should meet up for lunch and give progress reports about the flyers. Just to check up, you know."
Zoey sighed, knowing she didn't really want to but for Grace would as she took some of the flyers she was handing out. Trey took some as well, knowing full well that his mind was too far away for him to focus on them. Amber took some as well, looking happy to help while Jesse looked at them from over her shoulder.
"Helping to spread relief and recovery effort through charitable events? Too well constructed means Frat Boy number 3 passes right by," he spoke. "And the color. Blindingly bright neon pink. All grievances that just shouldn't be made when it comes to advertising."
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," Amber spoke. "Your daddy's the billionaire newspaper guy."
"How could you forget that? You have me spending money on you faster than he probably makes it."
As they started to argue on the subject their little intimate group six was soon intruded upon by one of the members of the club.
"So, ladies, what's good?" Dylan asked, taking a seat next to Sierra and looking her over with longing eyes.
Words couldn't even begin to describe the smorgasbord of random that was Dylan Carmichael. A freshman, Dylan was a mixture of every possible social clique representative known to man, a different one each day. He even dressed the part for each one. Today it seemed he was wannabe thug gangster, even though among their little group, he was probably the second wealthiest, next in line to Jesse.
He was an 18 year old, 5 foot 7 punk who looked four years younger than he was, sounded two years younger than that and altogether reminded anyone that saw him of the annoying little brother that they always pretended not to know.
Even though the club was open to everyone, most of it's members were gay or gay friendly. Dylan, however was a member of the club because it was one of the only things he'd been able to find on campus that he could easily be a part of and not be considered the odd man out. And considering that even though he wasn't shy in the least yet it was hard for him to make friends for some reason, the Pink Panthers made him feel important, even if he wasn't.
"Oh look, it's the little troll boy," Amber spoke, actually sounding curiously infatuated. "Don't worry. In three years when you graduate high school-"
"Amber, he's a freshman here not a freshman in high school," Jesse spoke. "Although the thoughtful comparison to a small elfish creature still stands."
Dylan decided to shake their words off, like he'd been doing all his life and looked over at Grace's flyers.
"Hey cool. We gonna pass these out around the skizzle today?"
Grace and Zoey exchanged glances.
"I'm sorry did you just say skizzle?" Jesse asked, incredulously as if Dylan had committed some kind of crime.
"Boy, you swear yo ass is stuck in the south central projects huh?" Grace added, folding her hands on the table in the air in front of her.
Dylan just grinned, rubbing his hands together briefly before standing up and walking behind Sierra, who was busy pouring syrup over her pancakes, and started rubbing her shoulders.
Sierra stopped mid-pour and looked around at everyone as if to get confirmation that what she thought was happening to her was actually happening before turning around in her chair to face Dylan.
"Okay one, I don't let guys who look like they could be my little brother's friends anywhere near me and two, you press any harder and you're gonna break a shoulder blade there Spanky."
"That's cool, I was just getting my warm up on," Dylan spoke, shaking his shoulders around like a boxer getting ready for a fight. "Besides, you ain't my type. I like girls with a little meat on them."
"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" Sierra spoke, cheerily. "Let me introduce you to my frenemy Amber."
"Okay baby that Rosemary threw away, you wanna rumble with me? I've got friends in high places. Tell her Jesse!"
Jesse, who still just wanted to be rid of Amber entirely decided to play against the obvious and go for the easy way out.
"She apparently has friends in high places," he replied.
"Yeah, the bitches at the sorority house are only good at three things, one if they aren't doing the other two together. I don't think you'll get a lot of help there," Sierra mumbled, opening a carton of orange juice.
"Can you two take all the instant drama somewhere else and let the people trying to ENJOY breakfast be? Shit," Grace mumbled. "Anyway, today, flyers. Doing what we can?"
"Oh yeah, I'm all over this shit," Dylan spoke, reaching to grab and handful of flyers.
"Boy I'ma tape record yo ass talking and send it to yo momma," Grace said.
"No, please don't do that," Dylan spoke sounding a mixture of afraid and definitely himself and not some posing thug wannabe white boy. "Again."
"Sit yo hyper ass down and eat boy," Grace smiled.
As much as Dylan had been bothering her and everyone else, Grace had to admit that she did like him. He was like the little brother she never had and she liked feeling like she had someone she needed to look after. It made her feel a little more like the person she used to be before she stupidly allowed herself to almost become some fools prey.
"Fine, but no carbs. The ladies don't like fat guys, now," Dylan spoke having a seat next to Grace.
"Or babysitting eighteen year olds," Sierra added, tearing over a muffin.
Grace turned her attention to Trey who'd pretty much been silent all morning, probably thinking about Noah. She knew the kind of condition he was in. She knew there was no way he was going to focus long or hard enough on what she wanted him to do for her without someone around to keep him stimulated.
"I think we oughtta do this in pairs," she started. "Me and Zoey. Jesse and-"
"Somebody that isn't Amber," Jesse quickly blurted out passing the speaking baton back to Grace before Amber could even make in a word edge wise.
"Trey and Dylan-"
"What? Hey man, fools gonna bring me down over here. Misery ain't the kind of company I'm trying to be keeping, know what I'm saying?"
"Dylan, what did I say about your breakfast?" Grace spoke, sounding like a mother threatening her child.
Dylan lowered his head and started mumbling something, much like a disappointed child annoyed with his mother would do.
"Trey...you're gonna be alright, right?" Grace asked, seriously worried about her friend.
It was ironic. Just days earlier the roles were in opposite order. Now it was up to her to tend to Trey when he was down.
Trey barely looked over at Grace before responding.
"As long as I don't run into my boyfriend, yeah, I'm perfect," he replied, before grabbing his backpack and standing up.
"Here, don't forget to take some flyers-"
"Yeah," Trey mumbled taking the sheets from Zoey's hand and stuffing them in his bag.
"So should I go with him or..."
"Dylan, boy EAT!" Grace exclaimed as she watched her best friend walk away with uncertainty.
Shawn felt disjointed in more ways than one. His life used to be such a simple thing. He and Ben were like brothers. School was like his kingdom. And life was otherwise simple.
Now things were different. Sure he and Ben were back on speaking terms and trying to get past what separated them in the first place but they were far from being the close brothers they used to be. Now it was almost like they were two people who happened to be trying to hold something together that just wasn't there anymore, despite what either of them wanted it to be, and he realized that.
But that was just one of his worries.
His other happened to lie in the form of his other friends and Trey. Even when he was having issues with Trey, Shawn always liked to think that he and Grace were close enough friends that they could talk to each other about their problems. Now with Trey spending all his time with the people that seemingly sided with him at every chance, it was like he didn't even have them to count on anymore.
And finally there was Trey himself. With all their ups and downs he was almost sure they'd hands down win any chances to start a soap opera. He had no idea what to think when it came to him anymore. He only knew what he felt and he felt it in his heart that the two of them belonged together. The only problem was that Trey wasn't letting him get out any more than three sentences to try and explain this to him.
There was that and the fact that he'd picked Noah over him. And that was the deal breaker.
With three hours of free time before his next class, Shawn had decided to head to the library. He hadn't had a clear head in a while and thus hadn't been able to focus very well on his studies, which in turn had caused his grades to slip even further than they already were. He figured three hours of trying to study was better than three hours of none at all at this point.
He'd always been under the impression that libraries were supposed to be quiet places. Yet for some reason, off and over in the corner closest to him was a group of about five or six students talking very heatedly about something. They were facing his way while another student, a guy, was facing the other way, sitting ahead of them and writing things down.
Feeling like he'd get nowhere unless they all decided to shut up, he decided to go confront them all. One way or another he'd get his peace.
"I mean, we shouldn't have to see that stuff plastered all around campus every fucking where we turn!" one of the angry 7, as Shawn had quickly decided to call them, spoke.
He was going to just burst in on them and act like an angry idiot desperate for quiet but he had a feeling he knew what they were talking about and decided to just listen for a little bit.
"I don't have anything against gay people at all. All I'm saying is that there are other ways to get across whatever point they're trying to make without making it THE point of the entire school. I've never seen so much pink in my entire life."
"Oh whatever Shell, like you care about whatever shape the school is in. You're just upset because boyfriend number three turned out to be gay too. That's three in a row."
"Okay well what if somebody here DOES feel intolerant towards the gay community?" came the question from the lone guy sitting at the head of the table.
Shawn couldn't exactly place it but the voice sounded vaguely familiar to him.
"I wouldn't exactly say that intolerant is the word. I mean I don't think any of us are gonna go bash all the gay kids' heads in or anything. We just kinda want that stuff-"
"What? Put aside in the corner?" Shawn felt himself jumping in. "They...we have a right to free speech too you know."
"Oh great, here comes the tolerance police," one of the students sighed, prompting laughs from some of the other students.
"Uh, excuse me, what are you doing?" the guy that Shawn now recognized as being the guy from the library before. The one that had tried to sum up what he thought he knew about his problems with Trey.
Shawn flashed him a look that clearly read across as a look of recognition but decided that the topic at hand was much more important to him at the moment.
"I happen to know the person responsible for those flyers and I think it's a good idea. Hell, I put some of those up myself!"
"Jesus kid, what are you 10? Why don't you go away and let the grown up's finish their conversation," one of the students spoke.
Shawn's guy from before sighed and looked down at his notebook.
"Okay, I think this discussion is over for now," one of the female students in the group spoke as evenly as possible. "Thanks Collin. I'll call you later and we can talk some more."
"Definitely," Collin replied with a friendly smile and hug.
Shawn watched, trying to keep from punching anyone as they all left, a few flashing him dirty looks before turning his attention to Collin, who seemed to be packing up.
"So you're a psych major and a journalist. What else you have in that bag of wonders?" Shawn asked. He could tell that he'd made Collin upset and was trying to lighten the mood.
Collin hadn't even looked over at Shawn as he continued to gather his things.
"Did anybody say it was okay for you to jump into a random conversation that didn't concern you?" he said.
Shawn thought for a moment, making sure to do so as he knew what not thinking about his words before he said them would cause trouble for him right now.
"Didn't concern me? We're you not paying attention? I'm the one that put up half of those flyers you decided to have a...secret library meeting about."
"It wasn't a secret library meeting, it was a discussion panel. And, I'm sure you don't know it, but you just chased away seven different school organization presidents there, including the student body president."
"Was she the blonde? Your girlfriend or something?" Shawn asked, again trying to lighten the mood some.
Collin sighed, finally completely packed before looking over at Shawn.
"You know, my initial judgment of you still stands. You aren't mature enough to handle intelligent conversation."
And with that he started away. Not really wanting things to end in that fashion, Shawn started after Collin, leaving his books, coat and backpack behind.
"There you go again judging people you don't know," he started, trying to catch up.
"It's what I do remember? Psych major."
"That major come with a minor in asshole? Jesus, you're so self-righteous up there on your high horse thinking you can judge everybody just because that's what you decided you wanna get paid to do."
Collin pushed open the doors to the library and let himself out, Shawn behind.
"Shawn right? You know Shawn, when you've been...judging people as long as I have, you tend to see patterns develop. You tend to know what you see when you call it. There's no other way around it."
"And what? That makes it okay?'
"It makes sense. And right now, you're going into random territory when the initial matter at hand was the right to free speech and where the line is drawn in the proverbial sand. Of course, you probably would have heard that part if you'd eavesdropped just a little more before hijacking my interview."
"I wasn't eavesdropping-"
"Really?"
Shawn was feeling more and more frustrated by the minute.
"You know, I really don't think a bunch of straight losers should get to be the expert opinion on a gay student club," Shawn replied.
"Who says all of us are straight?" Collin asked.
Which intrigued Shawn. He especially found it interesting how he'd decided to include himself in the `us' part.
"Still, don't you think you should've talked to us first before you decided what you and your asshole friends were gonna do about it?"
"How many times are you going to insult my intelligence before I decide you're not worth it?" Collin asked. "For starters, no one was going to `do' anything, we were just talking."
"In a quiet tucked away corner of the library. Very secret society to me-"
"You know freshman, grow up a little. Get used to living life without mommy and daddy for a little bit and then try talking to me. Until then, I have classes and you're bothering me."
Shawn was so taken aback he literally had no idea how to respond or what to do, which didn't matter anyway since Collin certainly hadn't stuck around to receive a response.
One thing was clear, however. Even if he didn't know how to respond, there was at least one part of him that was responding to Collin a little too well.
"You know Amber, barring the idea that people actually miss you when you're gone, I'm quite sure that you have a lot going on in your own set of classes," Jesse spoke as he and Amber took seats in the biology lab course.
"Jesse, if I cared what was going on in my own classes, I'd be in them right now," Amber replied. "Besides, hanging out with my boyfriend is way cooler."
"How many times are you going to let that vile lie slip from that mouth of yours?" Jesse asked.
"You know what's even better than having a hot, celebrity boyfriend?"
Jesse didn't respond in the hope that Amber would forget her thought and move on.
"Having a hot celebrity boyfriend with lots of money. A little promise ring never hurt anybody."
"I'm sorry, a what now?" Jesse asked, almost offended.
Amber stared innocently at Jesse's bemused expression as Sierra took her assigned seat across from Jesse at their table.
"Oh look it's Vonnie and Hyde!" Sierra exclaimed, pointing as if she were amazed.
Amber looked over at Jesse.
"Who?"
"Exactly," Sierra replied. "You do know some classes drop you automatically after a certain amount of absences right?"
"Well it's a good thing I'm not in any of those classes then," Amber retorted.
Suddenly feeling like he had an incoming migraine of some sort, Jesse sighed and stood up, deciding to spend what few minutes he had before class started away from the two girls in his life that he just couldn't seem to rid himself of.
Which left two girls who disliked each other more than a little bit left alone at a table together.
Amber stared snidely at Sierra who seemed to be studying Amber before pulling out her binder and looking over it. Among her various class work papers were a few of the flyers for The Pink Panthers.
Amber reached over and grabbed one of them, looking it over.
"She chose the worst color pink but I forgive her because she's black and probably doesn't know any better," she spoke.
"So racist, fyi, Don't let Jesse hear you talking like that. Those two are like `this' you know," Sierra spoke.
"Yeah well I like her. It's the other one I don't like," Amber replied.
"Oh I know," Sierra started.
Which was one thing that girls did best: talk about other girls.
"Makes perfect sense that out of all the clubs Grace could've picked, she choose the gay one," Sierra continued.
"Yeah and whose idea do you think that was?"
"She like, belongs there."
"Definitely."
"Totally."
A few moments passed before Sierra leaned in, a curiously mischievous look on her face.
"Have you ever seen her so called boyfriend?" she asked.
"No, but that's probably cuz the boyfriends a girlfriend. I mean, straight girls just don't wear that many dull and muted colors. We just don't."
"I know what you mean," Sierra spoke. "Wanna prove she's a lesbian?"
"How?"
Sierra looked over to the corner of the room to locate Jesse and make sure he was staying put before relaying her next comment.
"We find her boyfriend. And if there's no boyfriend to find-"
"Then that skanky liar is definitely playing on team V," Amber replied, on the same wavelength as her new cohort in crime.
Trey felt like he was walking in life without a purpose. He literally felt like he had no reason to be where he was. It was the strangest feeling, being numb like he was. It gave him too much to think about.
Like the fact that he'd been playing around with the idea of giving into his deepest desires with Shawn for months, only to finally give into them in a weak moment, which nearly destroyed his relationship with Noah entirely. And now it seemed that once they were finally really and truly together, things were different. It was like they were the perfect couple in theory. Everyone told them how cute they looked together. That creepy Sierra girl kept commenting on how cute their children would look if they could have any and how hot their sex must have been. And in theory, Noah really was the perfect boyfriend. It all left him wondering just what he was supposed to do himself. What he was supposed to put into their relationship and what exactly he was supposed to be getting out of it.
The fact that he and Noah seemed to be in a non talking kind of mood didn't help matters much either.
All he seemed to be doing now was mindlessly shuffling along through the crowd, working to get some of Grace's flyers up as he made his way to class.
He took one out of his back along with a stapler and started to do what he presumed would be stapling one of the sheets to a tree when he felt himself being pulled away and down the sidewalk pretty aggressively and fast to boot, which promptly brought him back to the reality that he needed to rejoin.
"Hey, what the-"
"I'm sorry, did you WANT to staple that flyer into that girls head? I can take you back if you want."
It was then that Trey remembered that he was with Dylan, or rather Dylan was with him, as the kid refused to stop following him around campus. He'd only barely noticed his presence before but now it was just annoying.
"What are you talking about? I wasn't-"
"Look, talk to a brotha. Let yo problems out man. I'm here for you," Dylan spoke.
Trey stopped walking, and it took Dylan a couple of seconds to realize this before he turned around and walked back over to Trey.
"Dylan, do you just NOT look at yourself in the mirror when you wake up or what?"
"Hey, college is about reinventing yourself. Let a brotha be and get to reinventin."
Trey stared at Dylan awkwardly for a few seconds before resuming his walking, Dylan at his side.
"But I do like you man, so offer still stands," Dylan spoke. "If you need to talk..."
Trey lulled over the idea in his mind before deciding that it wouldn't hurt anything to talk to him, even if he had just met him three days ago.
"So you know Noah right?" Trey asked.
"Tall white guy, attached to your hip. What about him?"
"Well he's my boyfriend, or I think..."
"You think? What, you don't know?"
"No, I know," Trey sighed as the two of them turned a corner.
He was starting to realize that getting things off his chest had never been easy for him and this time wasn't going to be any easier for him.
"I'm starting to think I'm destined to be alone," he sighed.
"No one's destined to be alone, Trey."
A few moments of silence passed between them before Dylan spoke up.
"You're one damaged soul, you know that Trey."
"Tell me about it. I'm poison for everybody in my life."
"Sounds like somebody needs a hug," Dylan spoke, stopping mid walk to do just that.
Trey was taken by surprise when Dylan pulled him into a hug so tight, the oxygen was starting to leave his body. Once Dylan finally let go, it took a moment for the world to stop spinning and for the color to return to everything he was looking at.
"So," Dylan started, taping a flyer to a sign advertising for another on campus organization, Jesus's Crusaders. "Now that I've lifted your spirits, I think we should talk about something just a little more interesting."
"Like you?" Trey started, grinning. "You're not gay but you're in a gay club."
"Gay people are like straight people magnets these days. I hang with you and your friends and attract more friends of my own."
"Oh and what kind of `friends' would these be?"
"Hot ones. In theory..."
Trey and Dylan continued to post flyers, not noticing that as they did, several pairs of eyes were watching them from not too far away.
"Have you SEEN the people in our club though?" Trey asked, as he and Dylan moved away from the open commons area and towards the back of the campus, covered in shade and trees.
"So some people got their own little style bits, ain't nothing wrong with that," Dylan replied, hanging a flyer on a wall before turning around just in enough time to see his face connecting with someone's fist, causing him to fall to the ground.
Trey called out his name and rushed over to him, only getting so far before being held back by a pair of unknown but definitely beefy goons.
"What the fuck is wrong with you people?" Dylan asked, hand covering part of his face and nose.
That was about all he was able to get out before a foot smashed into his chest, forcing him back onto the ground, where a puddle of melted snow turned dirt connected with his face.
"Dylan!" Trey shouted, trying desperately to get to him but continued to be held back.
"You know, you fags are bad enough for being fags. But we don't need you announcing it to the whole campus, ESPECIALLY when that means you're covering up OUR signs to do it."
Dylan tried to get up but was pushed back down once again. Trey tried once again to break free of the goons holding him but realized again that it wasn't going to happen.
"Now, I could TELL you I don't wanna see any more of those fucking pink posters anywhere around here. But something tells me nothing but a kick in the face and a punch in the gut, aka a warning, will get your attention."
Trey felt like a weak and pathetic excuse for a human being not being able to help Dylan. Which was why he had to close his eyes. He may not have been able to see what they were doing to him, but he could definitely hear it and it sounded painful. He just wanted it to be over. And after a few moments it was.
He could feel himself being shoved to the ground as the three goons that cornered them made off like nothing happened, leaving Dylan bloodied and beaten on the ground and Trey feeling almost too embarrassed to move.
"Dylan..." he spoke, crawling over to him and nudging him.
Trey could tell that he was alive, that much was clear. But Dylan was obviously in a lot of pain and needed help right away.
"Oh my god," Trey spoke, near tears as he struggled to lift Dylan from the ground.
"Alright, so what exactly do we know about the guy?" Sierra asked, stuffing a piece of candy into her mouth as Amber finished tying up her hair, turning her music down a bit.
The two of them were back in Amber's room, discussing their freshly hatched plan to get to the bottom of Zoey's boyfriends mysterious identity, with literally nothing to go off of.
"I don't know, she's YOUR friend. You tell me," Amber replied.
"Okay, if were gonna do this, we need to get it straight that no one in this equation is friends. It's a game of facts and knowledge, neither of which we have a lot of at the moment."
"Huh?"
Sierra sighed and crossed her legs Indian style atop Amber's bed.
"Zoey isn't my friend and she isn't your friend which means we can't just come right out and ask her about her boyfriend."
Sierra could tell that Amber wasn't quite grasping the concept of their espionage tactics and knew that it was going to take more than a little prodding on her end to get Amber up to par. Regardless, the idea of playing detective and getting to be the smarter of the two detectives excited her a little.
"Okay, well then how about we start with what we do know about her," Sierra suggested, pulling a small whiteboard over her lap before uncapping a red dry erase marker with her teeth.
Amber sat herself over her bed, letting her legs hang over the edge of it as she looked over the board.
"Well, she's a sophomore, with absolutely no fashion sense and these really big and weird looking teeth," Amber commented awkwardly before beginning to run her fingers over her own teeth.
Sierra had to give herself a moment before responded.
"That's not gonna get us anywhere Amber! Come on, think!"
Amber groaned and turned to her back on the bed.
"Why can't we just ask Noah? Or Trey? They're her friends-"
"Friends who all think she's straight," Sierra replied. "I'm telling you, the girl has no boyfriend. She's a carpet muncher through and through."
"Okay, I thought she was a lesbian. Now you wanna prove she eats carpet?" Amber spoke, sounding just as confused as ever. "Make up your mind!"
Sierra, who'd come into this situation prepared, pulled out two aspirin from her pocket and swallowed them dry.
"Look," she started, swallowing a couple more times for good measure. "Let's just put aside all the reasons WE don't like each other and focus on THIS okay? Sheesh."
"Fine," Amber sighed. "But I still think you need to make up your mind."
Sierra thought for a moment, not really sure what one thing to focus on before coming up with an idea.
"What if her girlfriend is a member of the Pink Panthers," she started. "What if that's the reason why we're all in that club all of a sudden."
"I thought you said you volunteered there all last semester?"
"I lied. Focus. Look, if we can't find her boyfriend, we can at least find her girlfriend."
Amber scratched her head, once again confused.
"How exactly are we gonna do that?" she asked.
"We follow her," Sierra replied.
Amber stared at Sierra.
"You must think I don't have anything better to do. I'm in a sorority. Hello!"
Not really sure what point Amber was trying to make, especially since she'd been spending all her time following someone around already, Sierra decided to just move on.
"You wanna prove she's a lesbian once and for all or not, Amber?"
"If I say yes am I still gonna have to follow her around. Because she's a really boring person, you know. I can tell."
"Ugh," Sierra sighed.
"This is my fault," Grace spoke somberly.
She, Zoey, Trey, Jesse, Noah, Shawn and a few other members of the Pink Panthers were gathered around in Dylan's dorm room.
Dylan was fast asleep thanks to some potent pain pills given to him by the school nurse while everyone else had pretty much been with him since Trey had told them all what had happened.
"Grace, how is this your fault?" Zoey asked, sitting on the side of Dylan's bed, looking over him.
"Yeah, I'm the one who sat there while those fucking..." Trey sighed, sitting next to Zoey.
Grace started pacing around the room, looking like a chicken without a head.
"I can't keep doing the club if it's gonna get people hurt. Trey, you're my best friend. If those damn fools touched you..."
"Grace, I'm fine. And Dylan's gonna be fine, thankfully. But we can't just NOT do the Pink Panthers anymore."
That was about when things grew silent in the room. It was almost like no one had anything to say about what had happened, even though they all knew they were probably thinking the same thing.
Noah, however, was the first to break the silence.
"I said it was a bad idea didn't I?" he started.
Trey, who'd barely paid attention to the fact that his boyfriend was in the room with him, looked over at him for the first time. Really looked at him.
He was standing with his left arm under his right elbow and hand on his chin, looking deep in thought. But his look held more than that. It also looked like he was angry. Like he was doing everything in his power to keep from smashing a fist into the wall.
"Noah-"
"No, I told you it was a godamn STUPID FUCKING idea, Trey! You almost died in a fire worrying about that asshole over there screwing around, remember?"
"Hey..." Shawn started, getting angry himself.
"When are you gonna learn to stop putting yourself in the middle of everyone and everything all the time?"
"Hey, Noah, maybe you should calm down-"
"Don't, Grace. Okay, not right now. This is between me and Trey."
"Or you mean you and the rest of us," Grace spoke, standing her ground. "Don't tell me, The Pink Panther's are to blame for what happened to Dylan right?"
"We know there's a club. People know or there wouldn't be any members. Do you really need to advertise it to everyone?"
"Obviously! Look what happened to Dylan!"
"Exactly," Noah replied. "Look what happened. It's like we live in two different worlds right now and I'm the only one that sees THIS world for exactly what it is."
Again, no one said anything. Trey wasn't really sure what to think about what Noah had to say. He knew him well enough not to be surprised with how he was reacting. Still, he felt a bit like Noah was choosing this issue to attack everyone over even though it was the two of them that had deeper problems than they realized.
"I'm done," Noah sighed after another extended silence, forcing himself out of the room.
Feeling like there were things he needed to get to the bottom of, Trey quickly followed after him.
"Noah, how could you attack Grace like that? She only wants to help people with this club."
"Look how much the clubs done for Dylan."
"Two psychos with an agenda are responsible for what happened to Dylan. Not Grace. Not the club. And---and not me."
Noah stopped walking, back turned to Trey before he turned around and looked Trey over, almost like he was scanning for bruises.
"When you told me what happened you know what the first thing that popped into my head was?" he spoke, sounding much more like he'd calmed down some.
Trey didn't respond.
"I thought, is that the guy? Is it him? I was ready to kill the first guy I saw that even remotely looked like the guy you described."
In a way that comforted Trey. It meant that he still cared, even if it didn't seem like it at the moment.
"And then I thought, why was Shawn the first person you called to help you after it happened?"
"Noah, Shawn's my roommate-"
"Not right now. And that's not even the point."
"Of course that's the point. You make Shawn the point of everything these days!"
"Can you blame me? After all, you did sleep with the guy!"
At this point, both Noah and Trey realized that they were being a little too loud and stopped talking. Partly because of that and partly because they realized that they were getting dangerously close to the point of saying things to each other that they'd regret, something they'd managed to avoid for the most part so far.
"So what's this really about then?" Trey asked, lowering his voice in an effort to try and sound more sincere in his intentions.
Noah let out a deep breath and decided to rest his back against the wall.
"I don't know. What do you want this to be about?"
Trey nodded, not really sure either. It was like an argument they both knew to be valid but couldn't or wouldn't validate. Neither one of them wanted to admit that their perfect little romance could be the least bit flawed.
Noah sighed and scratched his non itching head before deciding that if they were going to do this, he was going to say everything that needed to be said.
"I just think you should make some kind of...I don't know, choice."
Trey looked over at him, confused.
"What?"
It was almost as if he hadn't heard Noah right. He didn't want the conversation to be all about Shawn yet again, even though he knew that it was.
Noah didn't respond, instead just waited for Trey to be the first.
"I don't...I mean I thought I did-"
"Well maybe you should try again. Actually make a decision this time-"
"It's hard-"
"Yeah well life isn't always about the easiest decision you have to make. You have to make choices. Sometimes hard choices. But you make them, and you try to stick with them so that you don't end up hurting the people you care about."
"You know that's not what I'm trying to do."
"You're not? What do you call `us' then?"
It was silent again. They both knew this was a much needed conversation. One that absolutely needed to happen. Trey himself realized it needed to happen. And he wanted it to happen so that he could finally get it over with and make a decision once and for all.
But it was a moment of instant chaos that caused him to completely forget what was going on as a trio of freshman guys ran through the hall half naked and obviously drunk, screaming and cheering as they went along. With their attention now diverted elsewhere, Trey actually let himself forget what was happening previously just as Grace and the others decided to exit Dylan's room.
"Well, he's probably gonna be sleep the rest of the night," Grace spoke, crossing her arms. "That makes one of us."
"Grace, I told you, you can't blame yourself for what happened," Trey spoke.
Because the way he saw it, the only person around that deserved the blame for a lot of things was him.
While it wasn't completely surprising to him, the next day went by much like Trey had expected it would when it came to himself and Noah.
Noah pretty much refused to behave anything near that of a boyfriend to him until they agreed to work out the problems in their relationship. And while he came nowhere close to the behavior that resembled that of a three year old whenever Shawn didn't get his way, Noah was still pretty stubborn in his own ways. The only difference was that Trey knew he deserved it and worse. After all, everything that had happened and probably would happen was directly related to him.
It was like they were a couple who didn't readily acknowledge that they were a couple. Almost like they had been married a few years or something along those lines.
Meanwhile, for Grace, life without the Pink Panthers was becoming less and less easy for her to cope with. As she knew but pretended not to, the Pink Panthers were her clutch. It was the thing she used to keep her from dealing what was really bothering her. She figured she had plenty of time to deal with that after she had done what she wanted to accomplish with the club.
The very club that seemed to be on infinite hold for the time being.
"I feel weird," Grace allowed to slip from her mouth.
And the over-reaching point was that everyone was feeling a little weird about something. The point that was sticking was that despite the unorthodox circumstances, what happened and what was keeping them from not feeling weird was what happened to Dylan.
"How many times are we gonna have to tell you that-"
"It's not my fault? You can tell me that til the goddamn fucking cows come home but the truth is that if I hadn't been a diva bitch supreme and forced everyone to pass out them damn flyers-"
"Grace, you didn't force us to pass out anything we didn't want to help you pass out. You said so yourself, this club is gonna do a lot of good around campus and we needed to get the word out."
"Right, and the word got out and Dylan damn near got his teeth knocked out. How is that fair?"
"It's not. Life's not fair. And neither is blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life, Grace. It's not healthy," Zoey soothed.
"You know what else isn't fair?" Jesse droned, finishing the last bit of a smoothie he'd ordered in the Student Union. "Having to sit here and listen to the lot of you go on and on about your miserable little lives."
"No one is making you stay here boy," Grace spoke.
"True but my choices are either join YOUR Pity Parade or Amber's Real World rerun marathon for the million and seventh time. I believe I flipped a coin."
"Is anyone but me feeling like we're taking this all just a little too seriously?" Shawn spoke, with a hint of goofiness in her voice.
Everyone, most of who had forgotten that he was even there, turned and looked in his direction as Shawn shifted around in his seat.
"So Dylan was a casualty of the gay crusade. He's fine and knew what he was getting himself into when he joined the club, just like we all did."
"Nice, asshole," Noah mumbled.
Trey looked over at him as Noah sunk in his seat, not looking at anyone while everyone was looking around, probably thinking the same thing but not really along the same blunt lines.
"The point is that we can't just sit around moping. Besides the fact that we have classes-"
"That you don't attend-"
"Hey say that again asshole. Go ahead-"
"Okay!" Grace exclaimed, cutting the two of them off. "I think I get it. What happened to Dylan was stupid and a damn shame but Shawn's right ya'll. The boy is fine and the club has to go on."
No one really said anything. Probably because once again they weren't really sure what to say. Of course, that turned out not to be a problem once one of the few absentee members of the club came rushing over to their table, seemingly flustered and out of breath.
"You have to come quick-"
"Verti what is it girl?" Grace asked.
"Anyone who didn't just suddenly picture Lassie is either dead or completely not from this planet," Jesse mumbled.
"You have to come, now. They're...you have to come!"
Fearing something might have been wrong with Dylan, Grace didn't even wait for further explanation as she jumped up, grabbing her jacket and bags.
It took a brief moment of exchanged glances from the others but they all quickly got up and followed as well, no one quite knowing what to expect.
"Can I help you two sluts?" Zoey's roommate, Carmine asked, with crossed arms and a furrowed brow.
Sierra looked over at Amber with a smirk on her face.
"Right off the bat, you remind me of her. Perfect roommate match," she said, "but, we didn't come here to try to figure out which one of you is the man in the relationship. We're here on business."
"I've heard about you two," Carmine started, leaning over the frame of the door.
"I'm so confused. How do so many people know who I am today?" Amber spoke, sounding partially afraid.
"Amber, shut up," Sierra spoke through gritted teeth.
"Two blondes, look like bimbos, probably mental. Yeah, Amber and Sierra right?" Carmine asked.
Once again Sierra looked over at Amber before forcing herself past Carmine and into the room. She'd made her way inside, Carmine looking a bit aghast before realizing that Amber was still in the hallway, looking around as if trying to place the spot of some unseen hidden camera and pulling her into the room as well.
"I'm not even going to begin to imagine what kind of conversations take place between the two of you that involve us," Sierra started, looking around the room at the various pictures of Zoey and Carmine. "Oh look, what do you know? Pictures of Zoey and you. Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"
"Before I let your mind corrupt what little is obviously left, let me be the first one to reassure you that Zoey is as straight as they come," Carmine spoke.
"Did anyone say otherwise?" Sierra asked, suspiciously, before placing herself on top of Zoey's bed just-so, feeling like she had all the power in the world at that moment. "Why do I feel like just being here is confirming...SO much for me."
"Is this like a game for you? Or something? Because this is really weird right now," Carmine spoke.
Sierra looked over at Amber.
"For Christ's sake Amber, there aren't any camera's in the room, put that down," she spoke, obviously startling Amber enough to cause her to drop the picture frame she was holding at which point caused Sierra to notice something.
"Hey, what's that?" she asked, standing up.
"Sorry, there was a hole in the picture. The last hole I found in a room there was a camera behind it so excuse me for trying to keep us all off YouTube," Amber spoke.
Sierra walked over to the shelf that once contained the picture frame that Amber had dropped and examined the shelf which contained another photo.
"Hey what are you-"
"Back off lez, I know jujutsu!" Sierra exclaimed before picking up the book that had caught her eye, reading the title aloud. "Kama Sutra: Ten Ways to Spice Up Gay Sex. Gay sex? Really-"
"Little girl, you have NO idea what you're getting into right now-"
"Really?" Sierra started. "So she dresses like a lez. Acts like a lez. Sounds like a lez. No one's ever seen her boyfriend-"
"I've seen him-"
"I've heard that lie before. And to tell you the truth, because you know, someone has to, I think we all just figured out which one of you is the guy of the relationship."
Sierra and Carmine stood face to face, glaring at each other, neither one really sure of what had just occurred but each one equally as intense as the other in that moment.
"Before you leave here thinking you have it all figured out, just know this-"
"What-"
"I'm more than okay with letting you walk out of here to go make an ass out of yourself with what you think you know."
"Is that a fact?"
"Ooh, this is just like Cruel Intentions," Amber spoke. "Which one of you is Selma and which one is Sarah?"
Sierra and Carmine continued to lock eyes before Sierra broke the stare.
"Come on Amber, let's go find Zoey so we can show her what we found," she spoke.
"What did we find?" Amber asked.
"Just come on!" Sierra exclaimed, grabbing Amber.
"No seriously, WHAT did we find? We still don't even know if she's gay-" was all that could be heard before Sierra slammed the door shut behind her leaving Carmine fuming.
"Look, all I'm saying is that this would never have happened if the school hadn't allowed a certain gay friendly...project, to plaster it's awareness on literally every inch of the school!" Santiago Hernandez, student body counsel president and one of The 7 Shawn had encountered in the library the other day, spoke.
"Oh come on Hernandez, you screaming bloody gay club murder is a bit ironic and hypocritical don't you think? I mean here you are the president of the student body and the only non Caucasian member of the counsel," Collin retorted.
"Not what this about Jacobs," Santiago spoke, feeling a bit put on the spot.
This was all occurring at the front of the room in the Student Recreation Center that had suddenly become the impromptu meeting place for many of the schools more important organizations and clubs as well as a few members of the student paper, including Collin.
Meanwhile, at the back of the very crowded room, where no one could really hear or see what was occurring at the front of the room, Grace and the others had just arrived to see the conflict spilling over at its edges, not really sure how or what to approach first.
"What the hell's going on in here?" Zoey asked.
"I tried to tell you. People are upset. About the club. And what happened to Dylan. They're talking about stuff they don't even know about," Verti replied.
Grace looked around. For the most part, there seemed to be a lot of angry people in the room, none of whom even looked the slightest bit familiar to her. But it was obvious that something needed to be done. She just wasn't sure what exactly.
"Come on," she spoke.
Everyone followed, pushing their way past the people in their room as they made their way to the front.
"It's true that campus security knows about the attack on one of the students in the Pink Panther student club and that they're doing everything in their power to make sure that there aren't any other attacks on any other students on campus. You don't have anything to worry about," Elise Darren, the Campus Organizational Harmony group president informed everyone as best as she could.
"I think the point here is that we wouldn't be having the chaos if-"
"What? People weren't gay? That the world and this school would be a much better place if all the homos weren't fucking things up for all us straight people?" Grace started, commandeering the front of the room.
"Grace, what are you doing?" Zoey asked.
"Defending our club," Grace replied.
"Yeah, hear that. Defending `our' club. The club that was probably YOUR idea in the first place," Sierra spoke, once she reached the front.
"Now really isn't the time for your crap, idiot," Zoey spoke, rolling her eyes.
"Excuse me, what are you doing here?" Santiago asked.
Grace turned around to face Santiago, who was sitting in the middle of a long table along with the presidents of the other student organizations.
"Well I figured if our club was getting gang raped and hung up to dry up in here, I would at least put in my two cents first. And yeah, nobody asked me. Now ask me if I give a shit."
"Grace!" Trey exclaimed. "Don't okay, you're not helping."
"How is she not helping, Trey?" Noah asked.
Trey looked over at Noah.
"Noah-"
"No, you know what? She's sticking up for what she believes in because she actually found something worth fighting for. Sound familiar at all to you?"
"Noah, not here okay? This isn't about us-"
"Of course it is Trey. Because not everything is as black and white as you like to think it is!"
At this point, everyone could tell there had been a shift in not only the overall mood of the room but the point of conversation. Gay or straight, everyone was solely focused on the soap opera drama unfolding right in front of their eyes.
Trey could feel everyone's eyes on him and knew that all he wanted to do was end the scenario so they could get back to focusing on the actual problem at hand.
"Look, I don't think everything is black and white, Noah. I just like to think more practically and this is insane. Is anyone here even thinking about Dylan?"
"Dylan's fine!" Dylan spoke up, surprising quite a few people, as no one even knew he was in the room. "Ribs hurt like fuck though. Is it bad I actually want some barbeque ribs now?"
"Okay, who are these people? Can we get on here-"
"You're always trying to change the subject Trey. I'm surprised you didn't goof up and ask if we're all thinking about Shawn!"
"Okay, guys, just calm down-"
"Oh don't stop them Zoey. Not after what we found out about you," Sierra spoke, making her presence known as she crossed her arm with a sly grin.
Zoey tilted her head and looked between Sierra and Amber before crossing her arms and shifting her feet.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"Okay, can we please try to get a little order back in here, please?" Grace asked, pleadingly. "Guys...come on! We're getting off topic here."
Noah realized that it was more than a bit unorthodox but he figured the only way that Trey was going to take him or their problems seriously was if he was put on the spot, like he was now. It was either now for him or never.
"She's right," Trey started. "This isn't the right time for this."
"Typical Trey, always thinking tomorrow is a better time. Or never, actually."
"Noah, I just think-"
"There you go again! You know what, maybe if you stopped thinking about everything before you do it and actually live a little, you'd have a little more ground to stand on before you make all these baseless comments."
"If I didn't think about everything I'd be walking around like some emotional gorilla who doesn't share things with people!" Trey shouted back.
"Guys!" Grace shouted.
Now things were seriously getting out of hand, fast and everyone realized it but no one really quite knew how to deal with it.
"Seriously, what's that supposed to mean?" Zoey asked, randomly. "I'm confused here."
"Guys!" Grace tried again.
"Don't I get a say in all this?" Dylan asked, speaking up.
"Shut up Dylan!" everyone shouted in unison, not realizing that was all he could think to come up with such a limited amount of breath. With it fading with each passing second, he could see the room in front of him spinning slowly into one jumbled mess of colors until things were starting to become just black.
"Perfect, perfect this all about you again isn't it?" Noah asked. "Because the Trey I know, isn't happy unless he's got a little drama going on in his life!"
"Hey don't talk to him like that!" Shawn decided to step in.
"Back the fuck off Shawn before I make you!" Noah shouted.
"I'm sorry, you're gonna do what?" Shawn asked, getting in Noah's face.
"Shit dude, call campus security," Santiago spoke, fearing a punch thrown in the wrong direction would ruin what was in his opinion a perfect face.
"You do it," Elise replied. "I think two guys fighting is really hot."
"No," Collin sighed, packing up his things. "It's insane and childish. Just like everyone is being in this room right now which is gonna make it that much easier to write my article."
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, you're writing an article about us?" Shawn asked, his attention now diverted elsewhere.
"Why else would I be here?" Collin asked. "And how many times am I gonna have to see you around campus? It's weird now."
Trey meanwhile figured that now would be a good time for him to leave before things got any worse and he completely fucked up his relationship.
"I mean, seriously, would you two idiots tell me exactly what it is you think you figured out about me?" Zoey asked.
"Do the words, Kama Sutra ring a bell to you?" Sierra asked.
"What...the hell?" Zoey spoke, confused.
"Alright, alright, let's talk about Dylan, and the freaks that beat the shit out of him yesterday-"
"I'm fine-"
"Dylan, please, grown folks is talking. Be quiet boy, please."
"I can't deal with this," Dylan mumbled before falling back from the seat he was planted firmly in and onto the ground, bringing the various shouting matches occurring in the room to a complete standstill.
It was strange but it was the silence that brought about the unity in the room. Everyone in that moment realized that they each had problems. One big problem, and several problems of their own, but they each had them. And no amount of arguing with each other or fighting about them was going to solve them.
Besides, now they had an even bigger problem on their hands.
"Err...he's not dead is he? I wasn't here if he is," Amber spoke, breaking the silence in the room.
Yahoo Group featuring advanced chapters of the story and other works by me:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/
Personal email: sidewaysfictionman@yahoo.com Feedback always welcome.
Copyright 2007