Greetings. My name is Cole. And I'm a buddhist. Usually when someone finds this out about me, they're rendered [for lack of a better word] quizzical. They have a thousand questions to ask me. First of which, is always: "are there many black buddhist?" I've truthfully become tired of constantly answering questions about my religion in correlation with my race. Its a bit annoying, so I no longer entertain those types of questions. But let me tell you a little more about me.
Well I'm 23 years old. I just recently graduated from USC with a bachelors in Psychology. I minored in Philosophy. I guess thats were my religious transformation began. I had grown up Baptist; but as I studied more and grew more mentally I discovered Buddhism and thats where I've been ever since. Now I'm pretty much just on a spiritual journey. I spend my days meditating and learning more and more and as much a I possibly can about myself, life and my religion.
Unfortunately a year ago my grandmother died. And I guess in her last days she began feeling guilty about the fact that she kind of disowned my dad when he married my mom almost 30 years ago. My dad's white and my mom's black; and at the time my grandmother didn't like that. Over the years she barely acknowledge us; not even when I was 18 and both my parents died in a horrible car crash. I was left alone, and she seemed not to care very much. Thats all the while I was so shocked when I found out she died; and left all her money and earthy possessions to me. I guess she was trying to make up for what she'd done in death, that she couldn't make up for while she was here. What she didn't know was that, I long forgave her.
When I found out what she left me; I was floored. She left me over $5million dollars in cash and her Malibu beach house; that was fully paid for including a private trust that would more than cover the houses expensense for at least the next 10 years. My grandmother really set me up for a easy life. But having all that money felt uneasy to me. I ended up donating at least half of it. But I was still left with quite a bit of money. After paying the taxes on it and paying off my college loans; I was left with still well over $3.5 mill. I didn't know what to do with all that money. I pretty much live off the remaining $100 or so left every month from the trust, after the bills are paid. Its hard living with a lot of money when you're trying to live a unmaterialistic lifestyle. For now though the money is just sitting there in the bank; oddly or not slowly making more money as it sits.
My newfound wealth did afford me with the opportunity to spend more time working on my faith, now that I had no other worries. The only issue in my life was that I was pepetually lonely. Me being the only child and both my parents and my only grandmother being dead; left me terribly alone. I no longer had anybody in my life. After my parents had passed I pretty much pushed all my college friends away. And now I'm reaping every bit of the karma of my actions. One day while deep in meditation, I decided that I was gonna get a roommate.
The house was pretty big, and me all alone there, was becoming depressing. I found a realator, her name was Joan. I put her in the tasked of finding me the perfect roommate or roommates. She came back with a long list of people, that together we widled down to 5; that we'd show the house to. The specs on the house were pretty impressive; I was surprised the list wasn't longer. When people hear about the house, their jaws drop. The design of the house is pretty futuristic. The shape of it was some shape that i didn't know existed and definitely couldn't pronounce. The whole outside looked like some kind of futuristic stone, then the back which faced the beach was almost all glass. It was really beautiful. My grandmother was an art collector so there were all kinds of modern art statues and paintings all over the house. I had intially wanted to give it all away; but decided to leave everything in the house as it was except for the master bed room where I spent most of my time. It was pretty much the whole top floor and had the best view of the beach.
Well the criteria I gave Joan for the roommate was: chill, non- smoker, non- drinker, quiet, and around my age; no older than 27 and no teens, not even 18. The five finalist were all very different. One was Winston. He said we could call him Winnie. He was a big imposing looking Jamaican guy; that was actually the sweetest of them all. Then there was Ruez. He was from Spain, but grew up in New York. He was the fabio looking type; but very composed and laid back. I cant even remember the others; but Ruez and Winnie were the two I let move in. We all initially got along well. We all had very similar sensibilities. But for some reason after only two weeks, Ruez moved out. It came to me as a shock. But I guess it was for the best.
Winnie and I decided that we were fine not looking for a replacement roommate. It wasn't as if money or bills were really a defining factor. Actually all the rent that Winnie paid went to a charity; in his name of course. He knew nothing about it though. Well Winnie and I got on well. Our only issue which was a small one. After living alone in this big house for so long I fell into the habit of walking around naked. I was used to not wearing more than just a towel, and that was only right after I showered. I didn't even own any underwear. I think the only time I actually wore clothes in that house was when Joan had been there. But even then my attire wasn't exactly what you'd consider normal. I wore things like thobes; you know those long dress like robes that arabs wear. Or pajamas or anything plain, simple and comfortable; oh and it had to be white. I guess you can say my style was kind of earthy and hippyish. But at home my birthday suit felt more than appropriate. But it was a little shocking to Winnie. He was a little more conservative and shy to say the least. So to accomidate him, I'd throw on some pajamas or something; before I came downstairs out of my room. I don't think I ever wore a shirt though, I mean I lived on the beach.
After a few weeks I was getting better at covering myself up around Winnie. There were barely any awkward naked encounters anymore. But I am human and I cant just unlearn being comfortable with my body in the blink of an eye. I guess I was always free like that with my body; even when I was young. I don't know I just hated how clothes felt on my body. And I figured I had nothing to be shy about. And as I grew up I guess it kind of stuck. I wouldn't say I had the best body in the world but I felt good about my appearrance. I wasn't a gym rat or anything. I wasn't too built; but I wasn't skinny either. I had no bulging muscles, no six pack. I guess to most I had an average body. A little bit of a gut but still mostly lean at 180lbs and 6ft. I was really fair skinned almost white looking, my dads genes were strong. With a very light coating of brownish red hair running over my chest and legs. Yeah I'm a black ginger. Benefits of a mixed background. Facially though I took more after my moms side. She'd always say I was the lighter skinned version of her dad. And he was a really handsome guy; so i was lucky to be the spitting image of him.
Well anyway Winnie and I contiued on well. He was even starting to ease up around me and not take too much offense when I'd forget he was there and accidentally stride around in my glory. We were even becoming quick friends. But what happened next changed our relationship and our lives forever.
Like I said from time to time I'd slip up and be caught nude walking around the house. But I'd never expect to catch shy old Winnie to slip up like I did. It happened one day when I was in deep medatation in my room; of course naked. I heard a noise that startled me and went to see what it was. Just throwing a robe on, not even closing it. I walked down the stairs and heard the noise again. It was coming from the back of the house where we'd come in from the beach. Before I even got close I could see a sight that, would even make a blind preacher man blush. Winnie was outside on our back patio that lead to the beach. There was a shower out there, that I'd always use after leaving the beach, as to not bring any of the beach in the house. But shy old Winnie was way too modest to ever use the outside shower. Well that was until today. The window was two way so I could see outside but Winnie couldn't see me inside watching him, all he could see was what i was seeing; a mirror image of his Godly body. He must have been out on the beach and got a little too much sand in his trunks, because they were dropped around his ankles and he was bathing his massive body right out there in the sun light. Like I said before Winnie was a really large and imposing guy. He was 6'5" about 250lbs of pure muscle. But he wasn't jacked up like a body builder. He was built more like, I don't know Lebron James. Big powerful, but everything bulging in the right places. I just stood there for a while and took in the show. The stream of water was just flowing perfectly down his rock hard body. He had one hand resting on the wall, in a perfect pose; and the other grasping his massive dick. I thought I had a big one at 8.5" But his was at least 10 and from my view it still looked soft in his hand. I decided it was time I made myself known. I knocked on the window. He jumped to attention, quickly pulling his trunks back up. I walked outside, with my robe still opened and my dick now swinging freely in the fresh air. "Look who it is outside, and naked. Is that you Winnie." I said sarcasically. He tried to laugh it off but he was caught. I must have really shocked him, cause he didn't even notice that more than half his massive man meat didn't make it back into his shorts. "And what is this." I reached out and grabbed his protruding member. He slapped my hand away and told me not to do that. He then stuffed himself completly back in to his shorts. I laughed loudly but he didn't think it was funny. I didn't know to the extent to which he didn't apprechiate my laughter until I felt the back of his powerful hand come crashing against my face. He slapped me. My face was red. As zen as I was, I still hadn't fully embraced the whole turn the other cheek philosophy. I lunged at him, pushing him into the wall and back under the rippling water of the shower. He definitly didn't like that and I was definately out weighed and out matched. He grabbed me by my robe and pulled me to him. Then he ripped it right off my back and threw it to the side. His massive fist came down hard on my face. I thought I was going to passout. Then he grabbed me by my throat, lifting me off the ground and throwing me up against the wall under the water. I couldn't believe this monster of a human being was man handling me like this. his grip on my neck was fiercly tight. I could hardly breathe. And water was continuously hitting my face. Then he let me down. I called him all kinds of motherfuckers. Then he really shocked me. He moved closer to me and lifted me up by my arm pits. I felt defenseless as my legs kicked and my arns swung as he raised me higher. Then he did something I definitely didnt expect. He licked my neck. It was so animalistic and sedistic. His eyes all of a sudden changed, and he kissed me. Forcing his tongue into my mouth. I wasn't one for the abusive stuff so I continued to try to fight him. Then once again he let me down and threw another punch at my face. I crotched down in almost a half standing fetal position. The water still beating down on me. Then he really did something shocking. He dropped his shorts and now his dick was pointing straight at me and it was at least 12" or more, and about 2 inches and a half of girth; if not thicker. I was terrified but curious at the same time. Then he grabbed me by the back of my neck and lifted me again this time facing me against the wall. I had no more fight in me, he was going to do what he was going to do. He then pressed my face against the wall. He held me just a few inches off the ground. But it was high enough that I knew what was coming next. He wasted no time thrusting his huge dick into me. I was in so much pain. But my throat wouldn't let me scream. He then pressed both of his massive hands right into the center of my back to hold me up on the wall; and began violently fucking my already wounded hole. I couldn't believe I was being ravaged by this giant monster with his giant monster. All I could do was cry to relieve some of the pain. The water was still beating down on me as I cried and he fucked. He never spoke a word the whole ordeal or even after. He just grunted. All I could do was look into the mirror and see the reflection of my brutal assault. He fucked me harder and harder, and rougher with every stroke. And i watched the whole thing in the mirror. But what I didn't expect was that it was turning me on. As he fucked me hard I felt my dick explode the biggest load I ever had into the wall. Soon after I felt him too explode, only his was deep inside me. Finally he let me down. Cum and blood and water, and sweat a like was dripping down both my legs. I was in so much pain I could hardly stand. I thought it was over but he made me stand there under the water as he washed us both clean. Then like a baby he scooped me up in his arms and carried me in the house. Then up into my room; where he laid both of us down in my bed. Me still in his arms, we just laid there naked. For the next two days we didn't leave that bed. And he fucked me at least a dozen more times. I had no power to stop or even protest what was happening to me. I had been ripped apart and completely destroyed by a monster; that I once thought to be a gentle gaint. But nothing about this was gentle. It was rough. And on the third day I finally got to be with my parents again. And never again would I ever feel lonely.