Looking for Love
Chapter 1. Missionary Work: To be honest with thyself.
Sister Cullen stood awake that night staring at the ceiling counting the cottage-cheese lumps in the ceiling. She was desperately trying to get her mind to relax. To no avail, her mind would not cooperate. How could she sleep with Sister Jensen next to her in the next bed, so close but so far away? Sister Cullen came on the mission to get away from this, why was this feeling confronting her? Sister Cullen just started training Sister Jensen two days ago, and she was already starting to have feelings for her. She couldn't help but catch fleeting glimpses as Sister Jensen put on her dress, her nylons, she imagined those slender, legs wrapped around her. Oh she had to get those thoughts out of her mind. This was of the devil. She needed to focus on the work. Sister Cullen was responsible for Sister Jensen, she was new in the mission and Sister Cullen wanted to be the best trainer. She wanted to share her vision of the beauty and the pure love that goes into missionary work. She wanted to show her the miracles that could happen when you shared your love with another person and watch them change and grow before her eyes. True, Sister Jensen was waiting on her Visa to go to another Mission to Russia, but Sister Cullen wanted to send her in style.
Sister Jensen was short and had short red-hair and piercing blue eyes.
Sister Jensen was a hard worker too. She was sexy as hell too. Each time Sister Cullen passed by Sister Jensen, she could feel her sexual energy emulating from her. That just drove Sister Cullen wild and hot with passion. It was forbidden passion, passion that should never be.
She knew the missionary handbook and had it committed to memory. The church strictly forbade any kind of flirting, touching, or even kissing to members of the opposite sex, let alone the same sex. The thought of same sex relationships was blasphemy in the site of God, and if one was caught having a homosexual relationship, then the missionary would be sent home in shame and would be excommunicated. However, if the church leaders even knew how Sister Cullen felt about Sister Jensen, then she would automatically be sent home in shame. It didn't matter how good missionary she was, they had zero tolerance for these things.
Sister Cullen started to gag at these thoughts. She felt the anxiety fill up her heart. Within a few minutes, she ran to the bathroom in a cold sweat. The pain in her chest was crushing. Tears filled her eyes; she could not bear this anxiety this pain. She tried to scream out. No sound came out of her mouth. Tears however fell from her eyes. Her heart was crushed. She felt the pain and the void of feeling the hollowness. The emptiness inside was a slap to her face and a one ton brick crushing her heart. Why did Sister Cullen feel this way? Why was she having these feelings for Sister Jensen? Could she be homosexual? Was she just confused? Then she remembered Laura.
"Good morning Class, My name is Laura Callahan, I am replacing your old teacher Miss Shipley. This is my first time teaching I just received my degree at Cal Poly Long beach. I have two master's degrees. One in English and one in Drama."
From the time Lauren said those words, Patricia was hooked on Laura. She was 5 2'' a deep sea blue eyes, blonde hair, a tan anyone would envy. She had a cute round butt, and there was an elegance and grace to Laura. She was elegant and graceful in her teaching. Patricia and Laura from that first day had a meeting of the minds. True, Patricia was the student, but Patricia could not help but stare at Laura's eyes as she lectured on Shakespeare. Patricia would meet Laura for lunch. Patricia was a loner and did not have friends, so she would go to her honor's English teacher Laura and they would talk during the lunch half hour. They would talk about Emily Dickinson and the time Laura was an actress. Patricia just listed intently fascinated with Laura. It was a beautiful friendship. They really had a connection together. Laura was not only Patricia's only friend, but she was a mentor in every way. She was the nurturing woman that Patricia never had.
There were times when they finished each others sentences and would giggle to themselves.
Three months later, Patricia found herself changing when she talked with Laura. Before class, Patricia's heart would race and beat harder, and her palms would become sweaty. Laura was constantly in her thoughts as if she was tattooed on her brain. Each time Patricia thought of Laura, she would smile, and her heart would soften as a pillow fresh from the store. No matter what Patricia tried to do, Patricia could not get Laura out of her mind. At night, when Patricia would put on her stereo, she would hear Secret Lover's from Atlantic Starr and fantasize about being with Laura.
Patricia would slowly undress from her pajamas feeling her heart beat harder and faster as each article of clothing slipped off her voluptuous body. Patricia would imagine Laura touching her breasts lightly as she stroked her own breasts. She would imagine Laura's body on top of her own. Her breasts merging into hers as Laura kissed down her neck and her collar bone. Patricia would touch her stomach and pretend that Laura's hands were moving over her navel, and then down to her womanhood. The passion was intensifying, as Patricia would breathe harder and sigh with pleasure. The waves of electricity pulsating from her head to her toes. She wanted and needed Laura in her arms and in her bed. Patricia then pictured Laura going down on her as she fingered her own clit. Patricia imagined Laura going down and eating Patricia's Pussy, and tasting her sweet cream that came from her womanhood. Patricia was building to an orgasm, and Patricia touched harder and faster, her passion was intensifying until she exploded with delight and her juices gushed all over her hand and her body trembled of sheer passion.
Never Did Patricia ever have any other fantasies about men. Laura was the first woman that she ever fantasized about, deep down inside, Patricia was not even attracted to men at all. In her heart it felt so right to be with Laura and to be with women but her mind would not have no such thing. The belonged to this church and it was blasphemy to even masturbate let alone have homosexual feelings. Patricia kept trying to put this back in her mind, but it still kept gnawing at her being. It took Patricia three years to get Laura out of her mind, and that was one of the reason she went on a mission. To get rid of these feelings.
Oh dang, I get to Texas and all I can think about is Sister Jensen as Patricia thought to herself. How am I going to go through this mission like this? Its bad enough I have to spend 24 hours with this woman and work and live with her. How am I going to do this? Sister Patricia Cullen thought to herself. How? How? How? She could only think of one thing, work. She needed to work her tail off. Work and don't think about anything and hope Sister Jensen gets that visa soon. Yeah she was going to really commit to the mission, and not let her mind think about other things. She had to lock her heart. If the missionaries had to lock their heart to the opposite sex, then she had to lock her heart to the same sex. Patricia splashed cold water on her face in the bathroom and told herself as she looked in the mirror.
"Sister Cullen, you are a missionary, and you need to lock your heart. No Further discussion okay?"
6:30 came around too soon; Patricia just went to bed a half hour earlier. Today was going to be hell, with only 30 minutes of sleep and a full day of tracting and knocking on doors. Patricia rolled out of bed and got immediately on her knees for Morning Prayer. She pleaded for strength that day, first to keep her eyes off of Sister Jensen and to keep going today.
"Good morning Sister Cullen. Did you sleep well?" asked Sister Jensen
"Good morning Sister Jensen, yes I did, how about you?"
"Very well. I am going to jump in the shower before we start our studying.
Oh how Patricia wished she could join her in that shower. Wait; there was no room for such thoughts and desires. Patricia had to behave herself. Remember lock your heart.
The day dragged on and on and it was one countless door slam after another and by lunch time, the temperature spiked up, and it was hot and sticky. Patricia felt like she was about to pass out from the heat and the exhaustion from the day.
"Sister Jensen, I don't feel so well right now, what do you say we go home for a little bit, and eat lunch at home and then we can come back out, I feel like I am going to pass out. "
"Okay Sister Cullen, I can practice my Russian and study the language."
"That sounds like a good idea. "
Sister Cullen and Sister Jensen both walked in their air-conditioned apartment. It could have been the heat or the exhaustion but Patricia passed out on the couch, and started crying. She was feeling so many emotions at once. This love for Sister Jensen, the pressure to be a good trainer, and the sadness that was already overcoming her with all this stress. She couldn't take it anymore. Just then Sister Jensen walked over to Sister Cullen.
"Sister Cullen, what's going on?"
Sister Cullen couldn't reply, just the tears kept streaming down her face and the sobs racking her body and spinning it into convulsions. Sister Jensen just wrapped her arms around Sister Cullen and just held her trainer as she was sobbing. She didn't know what to do but just hold Sister Cullen in her arms.
"I just want to be a good trainer and be a good missionary." Patricia sobbed. It is keeping me up at night. All this pressure and stress is getting to me. "I can't take it anymore."
"Sister Cullen, I love you, you are going to be okay. You are a fabulous missionary and I love you very much. You have been a friend and a caring missionary and I have learned so much from you so far. Don't doubt yourself sweetie. I believe you. "
"Thank you Sister Jensen, I love you too. Very much so. I just get so torn sometimes. Patricia and Sister Jensen just stood there for a long time holding each other as Patricia buried her face in Sister Jensen's soft shoulder. There breasts were touching and pressing against each other and for a minute, Patricia thought she felt Sister Jensen's breast harden as hers hardened a little. They were both aroused. They quickly broke the embrace as the phone rang.
"Missionaries, Sister Cullen."
"Hi Sister Cullen This is President Mitchell's Sister Jensen got her visa. She is going on the next plane to Russia. She needs to be at the mission home in 2 hours. I know she just got there but she needs to pack up now. Sister Gomez will pick you up at the mission home and you will be with her for the time being."
"Sister Jensen, That was President Mitchell, you got your visa. You are on the next plane to Russia we need to be at the mission home in 2 hours." Said Sister Cullen.
Sister Jensen had tears in her eyes, tears of joy and happiness. She was going to be transferred to Russia, and go where she belonged. But she was going to leave her beloved trainer Sister Cullen who worked hard to please her and help her feel welcome in Texas, and whom she was beginning to have an attraction to. Some things were just not meant to be.
To be continued.
Feel free to give me any comments or suggestions to where this story should go. Email me at labpcullen@hotmail.com