Looking for Love
Authors note: From the first story I published, I made some changes to the characters. I am sorry for the confusion... Sister Patricia Cullen is known as Patricia Callahan, and Sister Jensen is known as Sister Johnson. I apologize for any confusion this has caused. Like the woman I am, I just changed my mind on the woman who is playing in this story. Again, if any of this material talks about alternative sexualities and involves women having sex with other women. If you find this offensive, please leave, also if you are a minor or under the age of 18 please leave as well. Sorry this chapter took so long but I think it was worth the wait. Hope you enjoy this. Any comments or suggestions please send me an email to labpcullen@hotmail.com
Chapter 3: Dealing with Change.
As Patricia lay in Sister Gomez's arms, these questions still plagued her. What was going to happen now? She knew she was lesbian for a long time, now she had succumbed to these feelings and desires. It was incredible. She had never been intimate with anyone. She had never expected that it would feel so right and so natural. Deep down inside Patricia knew that she was to be with women. However, did Patricia have the strength and courage to not only accept the fact that she was lesbian, and further to come out of this closet she had been living in for so long? Patricia had been for so long, pleasing the needs of others, she forgot about her own. Confessions of a co-dependant by nature Patricia thought as she was lying next to Sister Gomez. Sister Gomez had fallen asleep next to her and they were naked in each other's arms. Sister Gomez was so beautiful, so passionate. I guess they were not going to the zone meeting today. They were not going to do anything for that matter. Patricia had tried to sleep and lay there in bliss but all she could think of was the consequences of what she had done. She would be labeled as a failure, an outcast. Just then the phone rang.
"Missionaries, Sister Cullen May I help you?"
"Hi this is President Mitchell, how come you Sisters are not at the zone meeting? I need to interview and talk to you both."
"Um I think Sister Gomez is sick."
"Well take an aspirin! I need to see you Sisters now!" barked President Mitchell.
"Yes sir. We will be right there."
"Sister Gomez, that was President Mitchell, he says he wants to see us now. Get up, he is really pissed."
"Oh shit. Okay I'm getting up"
Sister Callahan and Sister Gomez quickly threw on their clothes and jammed out the door. They got to the zone meeting in ten minutes and President Mitchell had a look that would kill anybody. He was tapping his fingers on the desk and his face was flushed from the heat of anger. He was going to ream sister Callahan and Sister Gomez. Sister Callahan had to prepare herself mentally for the ass-chewing that was going to take place.
"Where were you two? Don't you Sisters know that these zone meetings are mandatory for your attendance? We do not hold zone meetings just so you can come and go as you please. Who do you think you are? You think you can pick and choose which meetings you would like to attend? Huh? Sister Gomez, I want to speak with Sister Callahan in private. You are dismissed. You can come back when I am through with Sister Callahan."
Just like that Sister Gomez left the room and Sister Callahan was left with President Mitchell alone. This was not going to be good. Sister Callahan's heart was pumping and beating so hard. Little tiny ice-cold beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. Waves of nausea were crashing in Sister Callahan's stomach. There must have been a lot of fear in Patricia's eyes.
"Sister Callahan, you look like a deer that has been caught in the headlights. What is going on? I know you and Sister Gomez, were up to no good, so you can save the bull-shit and cut to the chase. You know how I hate beating around the bush."
"Yes, sir, Sister Gomez and I did something very bad."
Sister Callahan could not hold it any longer; tears formed in her eyes and started falling down her cheeks. The mission President was an intimidating man, with a presence that inspired fear in Sister Callahan. Patricia hated this man but feared him like all of the authority figures in her life.
"Yes, I might as well tell you, because I am sure Sister Gomez will tell you the same. You see president. I have had feelings for women for a long time, and I know and knew that I had no business going on a mission in the first place; I went on a mission to get rid of these desires and to stop thinking about another woman. You see, sir, Sister Gomez and I had sex this morning, and I know President that I am a lesbian, so sir, you might as well send me home. I know about the rules and regulations against this and I am prepared to face the consequences."
"Consequences you will face too. I cannot believe you Sister Callahan. I would have expected better from you. You were a great missionary. You had a talent with the people, the missionaries, and the work. A lot of people respected you including me, but, that respect is lost now. I have no choice but to send you home in shame. What you did was wrong and filthy in my eyes and in the eyes of God. How could you stoop so low? Don't you know that is of the devil? You should have known better. You know when you get home after this meeting; I want you to pack your suitcases because you are on the next flight home. I am going to talk to your bishop and he will discuss your punishment further. I am extremely disappointed in you. You of all missionaries? I am shocked and appalled at your behavior. Get out of my sight you filthy thing. Get out of here."
Sister Callahan remembered those words as if it all had happened yesterday. That was such a hard and difficult period for her. That was two years ago. A lot has happened since that dreadful day in the mission president's office. For one thing, Sister Callahan was sent home in shame, her family disowned her, and she was excommunicated, and then thrown out on the street. For two months, she lived out of her car as she drove to find work, moving from place to place, looking for peace, healing, strength, anything. She needed peace to calm her troubled soul. Relationships came and went like the wind, first Tracy, Jenna, Sally, Cindy, Bonnie, Sylvia, Jane, Brenda, Catherine, Michelle and Mary. Each relationship lasted no longer than a week. That was just the relationships we were not even counting the online relationship and the times Patricia cybered with the ladies. Patricia wanted commitment, but the other ladies were not looking for that. They wanted a friendship with sexual benefits. Patricia was not that loose with her body. Maybe she was loose with the computer in the cyber-world but not in real-life. Other than Sister Gomez and that one day in Houston Texas was the only time she given her body to another woman. That ended in disaster. Patricia was going to be careful this time.
It was March 24th when it happened. It was a normal day by all means.
The sun was out, the birds singing in the air. Spring was beginning to bloom in the air. Patricia was contemplating going to the beach today. It was very irresistible; she just might give in to that temptation. Patricia was going through her morning ritual, Get up, check email, see who is online, and go about her day. Patricia revolved around the computer. It was a sick obsession but it was her only lifeline to the lesbian world. There were not very many resources for lesbians where she was at. In fact there were none for at least 100 miles. Patricia liked road trips but not that bad. She was in the midst of checking her email when something caught her eye. It was a message post from the group she subscribed to. The message was titled Thinking Outside the Box. Hmmm Patricia thought, interesting. She was a sucker for women who were intelligent. Intelligence attracted her, this was not an ordinary posting, but a creative thinker wrote this message.
She had to read this message. It called out to her begging for attention.
The author painted a beautiful picture to her heart and soul. The familiar words of longing to be free, to think freely called out to the desperate yearning of Patricia's soul. She longed to be truly free, to be able to express her love to everyone and anyone. The author was right; to be truly free, one must think freely. It all started with the mind. Thoughts turned into actions, actions influenced behavior, and behavior influenced your life. Who was this woman? With just one sentence, this author spoke to her soul. She awakened her heart and called out to its desperate yearning. Patricia wanted to reply to this posting. What would she say? She felt the familiar sweatiness of her palms, and her heart racing. She had not felt that with all of the women, just with Sister Johnson and Laura. The thoughts of T.S. Elliot rang in her mind. Do I dare Do I dare? Disturb the universe? Then she remembered her life. For crying out loud, if I had the courage to come out in my mission to go from being a missionary, to living in the lesbian world and come out to everybody, then I can do this. I have always believed in having no regrets. No regrets.
With that in mind, Patricia summoned the courage to write the words of her soul. The words flowed like a river, and this email was writing itself.
Her fingers alive were stroking each key with precision and love. Within 20 minutes, the email was finished and was the words that Patricia had replied to this mysterious author who had captivated her soul. With a nervous heartbeat, Patricia clicked the word send. Here it went. There was no turning back now. Time and fate would tell what would come out of this.
It was a day later, when Donna, the mystery author revealed herself. Patricia did her daily ritual of checking her email, and there was a reply from Donna. Patricia clicked opened the email and loving words of kindness and inspiration flowed from Donna's mouth. Donna had told Patricia that she was an articulate individual and looked forward to becoming friends with Patricia. Patricia was excited and thrilled at the prospect of having a new and intelligent friend as Donna. Who knows maybe they could be a little more than just friends. Donna was going to school to become a registered nurse and although Patricia was much younger than Donna, there was just something about their email exchange that Patricia could not put her fingers on. It was like their souls were communicating without the words. Mutual feelings of admiration had united their souls together. Patricia could hardly wait to talk to Donna more. She saw that the girl had instant messenger, should Patricia add Donna to her buddy list? Would Donna mind talking to her one on one? What harm could be done by adding her to her buddy list? Remember no regrets thought Patricia. Within one minute, Donna was added to her buddy list. The instant messenger showed that she was online. Patricia sent her an instant message asking her if she minded if she was added to her list, and instantly they began talking and chatting. Their dialogue flowed like a river smooth and uninterrupted. They had an instant connection, their minds were typing the words but the souls were exchanging feelings of warmth, love, and true pure friendship. Patricia found herself flirting with this 40 year old. They were both Gemini's and enjoyed having so much fun. Patricia found herself grinning from ear to ear when she was typing to Donna, and her heart was leaping for joy and smiling.
Patricia although have never seen or met Donna was deeply attracted to her mind, her heart, and her pure innocent soul. They just enjoyed being in each others company. Without realizing it, they had been talking online for three hours straight. Patricia had a million and one things to do that day, she regretfully had to break the conversation and tend to her other duties for the day. But first she needed to take a shower.
Patricia undressed her pajamas slowly feeling the texture of having her clothes being taken off her, she pictured Donna's face as she did this, Picturing Donna in the room slowly undoing her pajama top each button at a time slowly as if she was teasing Patricia sending all the blood to her womanhood. She was planting little butterfly kisses on Patricia's breast just so she could feel the texture of her lips against her breasts kissing them softly and slowly, respecting them, and revering them. Her hands caressing the small of Patricia's back just barely tracing her back with feather-like touches with her fingertips. Those same fingertips removing the bottoms of her pajamas caressing her buttocks and pulling Patricia closer to her while giving her a passionate kiss. Then came off the underwear. Patricia put the underwear taking in her own scent imagining Donna taking her underwear and smelling and licking whatever juice was on her panties. Patricia turned on the shower head and a steamy spray flowed out of the shower head. Patricia ran her hands all over her body soaping each body part imagining Donna placing her hands all over Patricia's body. Patricia could feel the blood engorging her clit and swelling her lips of her womanhood. Patricia normally did not do this in the shower, but she had to have a release or she would be frustrated all day. She needed it and needed it now. Her desire was full grown now, so her hands wandered down to her love box, and slowly she started fingering herself first the outer lips of her vagina moving in circular motions, then she teased around her vaginal opening gently massaging it with a little bit of pressure, her clit was screaming and throbbing right now. With her left index finger Patricia massaged her clit moving in circular motions, going faster and harder. What added to this intensity was the fact that she was standing but she was becoming weak in the knees her legs shaking slightly. She was getting closer and closer. She moved faster and harder, with more pressure and stuck another finger inside of her to fill her. So when Patricia orgasmed, she could feel the inner walls of her vagina moving and contracting against her finger, that just brought the orgasm to another level. Patricia was climbing the mountain of ecstasy. It was only a matter of time, when she felt the familiar rush of pins and needles and her body would be shaking violently while her pussy was moving and contracting, she moved faster and harder. Then she exploded with delight and her legs almost gave out in the shower, and she almost slipped in the wet tub. Patricia washed her hands and soaped her body once more before turning off the faucet and stepped out of the shower. A beautiful radiant glow emulated from Patricia as she just experienced that beautiful orgasm of the morning. She was now ready to face the day.
That night, Donna was waiting online for Patricia to come home. They again talked for two hours online. Patricia desperately wanted to hear Donna's voice, so she asked Donna if she would mind calling her on her phone. Donna was delighted that Patricia would ask such a thing and promptly gave her phone number to Patricia. Patricia nervously looked at the buttons on the phone. The familiar words of T.S. Elliot plagued her mind. Do I dare? Do I Dare? Disturb the universe? Of course disturb the universe, love only happens rarely. Patricia heard the words of Donna's voice and immediately her voice melted her heart. She had not had this melting in a long time, what was happening? Patricia's cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Patricia had tears in her eyes, although she had met this lady in person this morning, it felt like they had been talking for years, their conversation was so smooth and natural. Not only were they instant friends, but Patricia was feeling something more for Donna. Her heart was softening and melting at the same time. Patricia felt a beautiful warm peace with Donna. Patricia wanted so desperately to move slowly with Donna, but something was pulling her more to ask Donna certain things. Patricia and Donna found themselves finishing each other's sentences and thinking on the same level. It was beautiful and ironic at the same time. Another three hours later, they finished talking on the phone and were back online. This was fun and amazing at the same time. Never had Patricia felt this way for someone so fast. Maybe it was infatuation but maybe it was the beginning of something very beautiful and life changing at the same time. Patricia wanted to explore a life with Donna. Yes, the age was quite a difference, and feeling like a teenager with a crush, she worked up the courage to ask Donna a question. She first started with the question of how would you feel if you dated someone younger than you? Donna replied with she didn't mind at all. That was a good sign; it was as if Donna gave the green light for Patricia to proceed. Then Patricia typed these words nervously on the keyboard palms sweating. Donna, will you be my girlfriend? And then, her heart started to beat furiously. What would she say? What would she think? Then the words popped up on her screen. I would be honored to have you as a girlfriend. Patricia was more than excited. Donna had no problem with their age difference and happy that Patricia had asked her to be her girlfriend. Their souls had united once more.
Patricia wanted and needed to be with Donna. Her desire for her was growing to a fierce intensity. Her heart had such tender feelings for this good-natured soft feminine woman. Patricia wanted and longed just to wrap her arms around Donna and hold her tightly in her arms. However this woman lived 1000 miles away, who cared. Patricia wanted to see this woman; she longed to see Donna, to feel her body against hers. Although it was cold and late at night, Patricia was hot with desire for Donna. What was a 1000 mile drive? It was nothing. Patricia knew from her earlier days, she drove 800 miles at one time. She could do it this time. She wanted to see and be with Donna. She had to see her. Patricia was going to give Donna the surprise of her life.
Patricia hurriedly packed herself a few belongings, a couple of sets of clothes and toiletries. She put all of her CD's in her car and set out for this 1000 mile drive. This was crazy and insane but who was ever sane when one fell in love? Patricia felt like a natural in her silver Toyota sedan, this car could haul some serious ass. Patricia was a natural born speeder. In times where the speed limit was 70 mph or 100 km per hour Patricia would easily go 140-150 km or 85-90 mph. She loved the wind in her face. Patricia was a speed addict. In all aspects of her life, Patricia was fast. She was a multi-tasker doing 5 things at one time, going fast, and typing 65 words per minute. Patricia was constantly looking for efficiency more speed, doing and being faster, there was only one aspect of Patricia's life that was slow and that was lovemaking. Lovemaking was meant to go slow, and soft. Patricia wanted to take the time to feel and sense the other body. Using all five senses, Patricia like to experience Donna's body. To take time to love and revere Donna's body. Patricia had the stamina to go the distance in relationship and when it came to making love. Although Patricia had one sexual partner, Patricia knew this about herself by experimenting with herself. She was finding new ways to bring herself pleasure. Patricia liked it soft and slow. That much she knew about herself and if Donna was anything like her, she wanted it soft and slow too.
Like all road trips, especially long ones as this one, 100 miles blends into the other, Patricia keeping focus on the goal at hand. Looking at the signs. Grand Junction 700 miles. 3 hours later, Grand Junction 500 miles and so on. Patricia's mind wandering what the first time would be like? Thoughts of spending time with Donna, wondering what her reaction would be? Fantasies about making love with Donna. Patricia was such a dreamer, and a romantic at heart.
Before she knew it Patricia had arrived in Grand Junction. Patricia thought it would take an eternity to get there, but it was really a nice drive with little traffic. Now was the time to set the plan in motion. Patricia got to a payphone in Grand Junction. It was 5:30 at night when Donna's cell phone rang.
"Good evening Donna, this is Patricia. You would never believe where I am at. I have a special surprise for you."
"Oh you have a surprise for me? That is so sweet you didn't have to do that Patricia tell me what do you have in store for me?"
"Well you see Donna I went for this little road trip and one thing led to another and I have found myself here in Grand Junction. Would you mind if you are not too busy to go out on a date with me?"
"Oh my God! You didn't. Oh my Gosh! Wow. Yes, I want to see you. I have been thinking about you all day." Here let me give you directions to my house. Oh I can't wait to see you." Donna joyously replied.
With the directions to Donna's house and Picking up some roses on the way, Patricia proceeded to Donna's house. Patricia had never done this before and her heart pounding all the way, Patricia walked out of her car and nervously walked up the steps to Donna's house. Patricia rang the doorbell and thought to herself. "Here goes nothing"
Donna opened the door and Patricia was dumbstruck at her beauty. Donna had magnificent deep sea blue eyes. Here eyes portrayed a beauty and genuine warmth in them. Patricia knew deep in her heart that she never met Donna but something was vaguely familiar about Donna. Patricia wrapped her arms around Donna and held her close to her. Patricia was so much in love with Donna's body. Donna had portrayed elegance, intelligence, and above all a genuine caring gentle nature. Patricia was so instantly attracted to Donna she felt her breasts harden and Donna's breasts were pushed against hers. Immediately, the juices started to flow down below. Patricia and Donna just stood there and embraced for what seemed like 10 minutes. Patricia could feel her knees weaken when Donna was holding her and was grateful that Donna was holding her up. Just then, Donna leaned in and kissed Patricia's lips gently and softly. Patricia could feel her heart pound, and her knees turning in jelly as Donna pressed her lips against Patricia. Patricia kissed back with the same love, the same passion, and the same beauty that Donna had kissed her with. Each of them embracing each other in their arms. This was a kiss of a lifetime. Patricia could feel her soul melting with Donna and did not want to break this kiss, but we all needed air sometime. Patricia looked in Donna's eyes and saw tears forming in her eyes. Patricia took her right thumb and wiped away the tears that came from Donna's eyes and looked deep in them. Their souls were communicating the longing that had gone on for years. Looking and longing for pure love, looking and needing the connection that they felt right now. Without words being spoken their souls were communicating.
Patricia walked in the front door and Donna had taken Patricia's hand and they walked toward the bedroom not even speaking to each other. Patricia again wrapped her arms around Donna and gave her another soft wet passionate kiss. Patricia ran her fingers through Donna's hair and rolled her tongue inside Donna's mouth. She was tasting and exploring her mouth with her tongue, rubbing it along her gum line, her teeth, and massaging her tongue with hers while her hands moved from her head to caressing her back with her fingertips. Donna was so beautiful, and so gentle with Patricia. Patricia could not help but liquefy with Donna's touches and her kisses. Patricia removed Donna's brown silk blouse unbuttoning each button slowly and sensually. Donna was removing the buttons on Patricia's red blouse. Patricia planted tiny kisses on Donna's chest and collar bone and kissed the top of her bosom. Patricia took in a deep breath of Donna's scent and smelt the faint odor of jasmine. Donna was so beautiful so feminine so soft and sensuous. Patricia with her fingertips, gently caressed Donna's back sending little tiny electrical sparks that drove Donna in a more excited state. Patricia could hear the soft moan that escaped Donna's mouth Just then Patricia undid Donna's bra and let it slide off of Donna's arms. Patricia then gazed at Donna's breasts and saw that her nipples were in an excited state and stood out one inch. They were so beautiful and immediately Patricia planted soft kisses around Donna's breast but not quite at the nipple. Patricia was teasing it in her own way. Patricia lightly kissed Donna's breast and with her other free hand gently stroked the other breast barely touch it. Patricia could hear Donna's moans become deeper and louder. Patricia then kissed her shoulders and up and down each arm and stroking her with her finger tips. Patricia then proceeded to turn around and started kissing and rubbing Donna's back and kissing between the shoulder blades and rubbing her back and shoulders softly with her hands. Then Patricia moved to the small of Donna's back and kissed and licked that area with her tongue. Then from behind, Patricia reached in front of Donna and undid her beige pants and slid her hands down Donna's underwear. Patricia then heard a gasp and a loud moan and Patricia took her hands out of Donna and licked the cream that came from Donna. It tasted like honey with a tinge of salt. There was going to be time for that. For now Patricia wanted to take things slow. Patricia then slid down Donna's pants along with her panties and Patricia planted more butterfly kisses on Donna's butt cheeks and rubbed them with her hands. Patricia was in love with Donna's beautiful sensuous white ass. Patricia could feel her juices swell within her womanhood. Patricia went down lower from behind. Patricia started to kiss and lick the back of Donna's thighs and the backs of her knees which sent waves of pleasure to Donna. Now it was time to go back to the front. Patricia embraced Donna again and kissed her softly and lovingly on Donna's lips and caressing Donna's lips at the same time. Donna started stroking Patricia's back as Patricia started nibbling and sucking on Donna's neck. Patricia started from one earlobe kissing and sucking her neck. Patricia found that spot when you kiss, it sent goose-bumps up and down Donna's body.
Patricia wanted to experience Donna's body with all of her five senses. Patricia lay Donna down on her bed as Patricia rolled on top of Donna. There bodies touching and melting into each other. Donna was soft as a newly bloomed rose petal. The touching of their bodies was magical and sensual. Patricia with her kisses then moved to Donna's breasts and started to lick and suck on the right breast moving her tongue in tiny circles. With her free hand, she was pinching and stroking the other nipple at the same time. Patricia could hear Donna moan louder and with increasing intensity. Patricia went down further and started kissing and nibbling on Donna's navel. Her navel was soft and sensual and Patricia treated it with respect and reverence. Patricia moved even lower to Donna's womanhood. Patricia kissed the top of her mound gently and proceeded to spread Donna's legs. Patricia kissed the insides of Donna's thighs and licked them with her tongue. It was time. Patricia then dove inside of Donna. Patricia separated Donna's lips and licked each side with her tongue. With one single stroke of her tongue Patricia licked the top and the bottom of Donna's vagina. Patricia then inserted her tongue and filled her with her tongue. A loud moan escaped Donna lips. Patricia moved her tongue in circular motions as she proceeded to eat Donna. Patricia could see Donna's clit swelling and with her lips she stroked Donna's clit. The clit was in full view now, and Patricia took her tongue and flicked and licked her clit with a little pressure. Patricia could feel Donna's climax coming and so she stopped for a minute, went up and gave Donna another deep and passionate kiss. Then Patricia started so suck and insert a finger inside of Donna and suck her hard and fast as she pumped in and out of Donna. It was a matter of seconds, before a wave of orgasm flooded Donna and Donna shook and trembled and wave after wave of orgasm washed over Donna. Donna was in tears at this time and so was Patricia. This was the most powerful intense sexual experience both of them had experienced at this time. Donna made love to Patricia with the same intensity and fervor and Patricia had revered her body and by the time they were both finished both of them were in tears.
This was the most beautiful love-making experience Patricia had ever experienced in her life. This experience was life-changing for Patricia. She had never thought in her life that anyone could ever love her like this.
Patricia and Donna had become one not only with their bodies, but their souls became entwined in each other. Patricia had melted into Donna from the first time they met and both of them felt a strong sweet peace with each other. It was official; Patricia was in love with Donna and did not ever want this moment to end. Patricia looked into Donna's eyes and the first words she uttered to Donna ever since she came to Grand Junction.
"It is so nice to meet you Donna in person. I have wanted to do this since I read your message post. I am so glad you accepted the idea of me being your girlfriend. Donna, I do believe I love you"
"It is no nice to meet you Patricia in person. I am so glad you asked me to be your girlfriend. I love you too."
With those words uttered by the both of them they just held each other for what seemed like the rest of the evening.