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"Losing My Virginity And Then My Heart." Part Six.
By Danny D and Jordan R
We woke and showered. He called his roommate who was expecting his call. "Yeah, I'm at the dorms. Grab my bag and pick us up. I should be at the airport by two."
His plane was at 3:30. Mine was at 3:50. Jason, his roommate, picked us up at noon. We went to Starbucks for coffee and something to eat and then set out for the airport. Danny explained to Jason what happened the night before.
"So you had fun even though David was being an ass?" Jason said.
"Yeah, it was good."
Jason glanced into the backseat at me. "I absolutely love this guy, but he's been driving me crazy listening to him about this hot guy in his chem. class and Friday talking about the fact that you were going to be at this orgy. I'm glad he finally got to hook up with you."
Danny said, "Shut up. Don't give away my secrets."
My face felt hot. "Me too," I said.
We sat at the gate waiting for his plane to be called. I said, "Well, I know your last name now, but I don't have any way to get in touch with you. Can I have your number?"
He took out his phone and handed it to me. "Put your number in," he said. I gave him my phone. He said, "I wasn't getting on the plane without your number, but I was hoping you'd ask."
I sat on the plane with a pulsing hard on. All I could think about was him fucking me and me fucking him and us kissing.
My dad picked me up at the airport. It was great to see him. When we got home, my mother was waiting dinner for me. "Your sisters and their boyfriends are coming for dinner tomorrow Ð Sunday dinner. We'll have pasta tomorrow. I made lentil soup. I know you love that."
"Thank you," I said. I was surprised. I had noticed in the past that she seemed different. For a while it was just that she seemed sad or distant. Then last summer she seemed more available. But then she was always nicer to me when my sisters weren't around. But I never knew when that might change.
Dinner was good, very good. We talked about Stanford and my grades, living in the dorms and that my mom and dad were planning a European trip come summer.
I was pretty tired, but I decided I wanted to take a swim and just hang out in my room. My dad always swims in the nude. Before he does, he'd always announce that he was going to swim and sit in the Jacuzzi and asked if anyone need to be outside. That was how he told us he wanted privacy. So, I said, "Can I use the pool and the Jacuzzi? Does anyone need to be outside?"
My mother said, "No, enjoy yourself."
With all the lights turned off, I slipped out of my shorts and underwear and got into the pool. I swam, floated around, swam and then got in the Jacuzzi. I couldn't stop thinking about Danny. I went to my room and climbed in bed. I looked at my phone. I had missed a call from Bastian. I called him.
"What's up?" I asked.
He chuckled. "I got a call from Danny."
"Really? What about?"
"Ah, you. All kinds of questions. I think he's in heavy crush with you."
I felt warm all over. "Tell me."
"Have you dated? I told him yes. Is there an exÐboyfriend hanging around? I told him no. He said you seem shy. He liked that. He said that he never sleeps with a guy on the first date but he liked it with you."
"He goes to an orgy but he never sleeps with a guy on a first day?"
"Sleeps with, like in closing your eyes, not having sex."
"Oh, okay. Wow, cool. Yeah, we slept together. It was great."
"I think he was asking stuff trying to get an idea if you are someone he can trust. He said you seemed real."
"So it was all good?"
"Yes. I asked him if he thought you two would see each other again. He said he hoped so and that he got that vib from you."
"Wow. Yeah, for sure."
"He asked if you were out to people. I told him you were to your friends, but not your family yet but that you were working on that."
I sighed. "I want to, but I'm scared."
"Yeah, I bet. Well, do what you think is best. It all sounded good and I think he knew I was going to call you and tell you. I mean he knows we're best friends, right?"
"Yeah."
I lay in bed most of the night tossing and turning. I was sure if I came out my dad wouldn't freak out. He'd never disown me or ban me from the house. He might be disappointed, but eventually he'd deal with it. I thought I'd get blasted by my mother and we'd be back to our old angry standoff, but I had to decide what was more important. If I stayed closeted would it fuck up any kind of relationship I might have with Danny?
I had made a decision. Danny told me that he was out to his father and brother. He said he knew it was different for everyone, but it seemed to him that life was easier once you were out. Bastian had said the same thing. I remembered what that guy at the LGBT meeting said to me. "How can you love someone who is gay if you can't love yourself." I decided that I was going to tell them over winter break, but I had no idea of when or how.
We sat down to breakfast. "Dad you said that I could have a car my sophomore year. I've got money saved. I'd really like to use it for a car. The thing will be the insurance."
"Why do you need a car?" he asked.
"Ah, well." My stomach churned. I began to feel sweaty. Immediately, I knew this was the time.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I met this guy, Danny, that I'm really interested in."
I noticed my mother staring at me.
My dad said, "Interested in, like a friend or like,"
"Like someone I'm hoping to date. And I think he likes me."
My mother said, "He doesn't have a car?"
My heart was pounding. Why wasn't she flipping out? "Ah, no." When I'm really nervous I blush and I either shut up and freeze or I start rambling. This was a rambling nervousness. "He's a sophomore like me. He lived on my floor last year, well, when I moved into the single. He lives in San Diego and was a swimmer. His mom died of cancer when he was a kid and his dad is a COP and he has an older brother and they know he's gay. He's premed and we're taking the same chemistry class."
"You said that you think he likes you," my dad said.
My lips started trembling. I was so nervous I thought I'd cry. "Ah, yeah, he said he does and he said he wants us to better get to know each other."
"And you think a car would help. My only concern is with your studies."
My mother said, "I doubt he's going to let up on his studies because he has a car."
Was this my mother or did someone take over her body. Why wasn't anyone yelling? Did they understand that Danny was a guy? "He's very serious about his studies. I mean, premed is very competitive and he wants to be my study partner in chem."
"Okay," my dad said. "Keep your money. I've got a used three series BMW on the lot you can have. It's in very good condition. I've been saving it for you. It'll be your Christmas present."
"Really," I said. I was still shaking from coming out. Why hadn't they flipped out? "You're not angry that I'm gay?"
"Gay or straight you're my son," my dad said. And I'm proud of you.
I looked at my mother. She said, "I think I've know for a long time. It was hard for me. I thought it was my fault."
"Mom."
"No. It made me look at things seriously. I've been in therapy."
"We have," my dad said. "For couples and alone."
"I know it's the way people are born. I do love you, Jordan," she said.
"I love you too, Mom." My lips trembled. Tears filled my eyes. I sighed. "It's just nervousness," I said wiping them.
I helped her with the clean up. "I'm kind of surprised you two didn't freak out," I said.
"Life is too short, Jordan. And,"
"Is everything okay," I asked.
She looked at me. "Ah, yeah." She sighed. "Last year, just after you went away, I found a lump in my breast."
Tears filled my eyes. "Mom. Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't tell anyone except your dad until it was removed. I didn't want to worry any of you. You were just starting college. You had enough to deal with. I had my breast removed and a reconstruction. I'm cancer free now." She sighed. "I've been in therapy looking at my relationships with people. How and why I'm so angry."
"I'm glad your okay," I said. I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. "Mom, what's wrong?" I wanted to put my arms around her, but we never had that kind of relationship.
She shook her head. "I've been unfair to you. Jordan, I've never regretted having you. It kills me that I said that and worse made you feel that way."
"I know Mom."
"No, let me finish. I have a brother."
"Really?" I had never heard anyone speak of him.
"He lives here in Los Angeles. He's four years older than me. When I was ten, he started molesting me. It went on until he went to college. I never told anyone. That was until your sisters were about five or six. You were about three. I saw him holding Amy, his hand was near her bottom. I went nuts. He left. I told your dad and that was the last time we saw him."
"Mom," I said, tears in my eyes.
"Jordan, I'm sorry but I think, no I know it affected my relationship with you and with your father. I should have gone into therapy then, but,"
"Mom," I said and put my arms around her. "I'm okay and I'm sorry that happened to you."
She held me tightly and cried. We both cried. "I love you Jordan," she said. "I always have. Please forgive me."
"Mom," I pleaded.
"Please, Jordan, say you forgive me."
"I do, Mom. I love you."
We talked for a long time. She asked about Danny. "All I want is for you to be successful and happy," she said. "If things work out with you and Danny, and I hope they do, maybe you can bring him here sometime."
"I hope they do. I think he's a nice guy and smart. If it does, I'd love to bring him here."
I tossed and turned the entire night. I decided that I hate my uncle even though I had no memory of him. Clearly, he had an affect on my mother's life, and indirectly he had one on mine. Oddly, I started feeling very protective of my mother.
The next day, I went to the dealership and saw my car. It was a very clean, low mileage, silver with black leather interior, 330. My dad said it would take a couple of days to do all the paperwork and then it would be mine. I saw several of the guys I worked with. They congratulated me on how I was doing at school and my car. One of them told me that my dad told him that the car was for me and that he should make sure there was nothing wrong with it. "It's like new," he said. "It's a beauty." And it was.
Sitting around the table were my sisters and their boyfriends, my mom and dad and I. Pasta and meatballs, my favorite, was for dinner. Ben and Sarah, the sister still in school sat across from me. Dylan and Amy, the sister who worked selling costume jewelry sat on my side of the table. Ben and my dad and I were talking Stanford football. Sarah said, "Mom told me you got a car. Good for you. I hear it's beautiful."
"Yeah, it is. I was hoping for something that wouldn't fall apart. This is fantastic." I looked at my dad. He smiled.
My mom said, "He deserves it."
Ben said, "So, is there a girl we should be hearing about?"
I noticed Sarah glance at him and then at me. Clearly, she must have just been told that I was gay. I took a breath and said, "I kind of had a date with Danny and it went really well. He's in my organic chem. class."
Dylan said, "Ah, you said he. Is Danny a dude?"
"No, he's not a dude", I said accentuating dude, "he's a guy in my chem. class."
"You were right," Dylan said to Amy, "your brother is a fag."
I jumped when I heard my father slam his fist against the table. He yelled, "You jackass. You are in my house and you are at my table. You don't get to use that language here, especially in reference to my son."
My mother said to Dylan, "I suggest you apologize or leave."
"Ah," Dylan said, "I didn't mean that I thought he was a, that he was gay, but that Amy said he was that word."
My mother again said, "I didn't hear an apology."
"It's okay, Mom," I said.
"No, it is not."
"Okay. I'm sorry I used that word," Dylan said.
Amy said, "It's just a word. You don't have to be so touchy. Everyone uses it."
"Not in this house," my dad said.
I said to Amy, "Yeah, I mean there are words for people like you and I don't use them."
Dylan glared at me. I said, "I can think of a couple of choice ones for you, too."
I looked at Sarah when I heard her laugh. "You're great with those comebacks."
Ben said, "My younger brother is gay." Everyone looked at him. I guess no one but Sarah knew.
Sarah said, "He's wonderful, smart, funny. Just like you," she said to me.
Ben said, "I think I knew when I was about fourteen. He was twelve, I guess. But he didn't tell me for a couple of years. I remember when he did. He was shaking he was so nervous."
I asked, "Had he told anyone else?"
"No. I was the first. He told me because he was having trouble at school, he was being bullied and it was getting bad. He wanted me to help him but not tell Mom and Dad."
"What did you do?" my dad asked.
"Me and a couple of my friends waited for the kids after school and told them that we'd kick their asses if they messed with him again. That seemed to stop it. He came out to my parents a few years later. They had a tough time of it for a while, but they've come around and are fine."
I looked at Ben. He looked at me. We nodded at each other. Everyone went back to eating dinner.
After dinner, Sarah came up to me and said, "Mom and Dad are proud of you, you know that, don't you?"
"Yeah, now I do."
She hugged me.
Dylan and Amy left right after dinner and said nothing to me.
I visit with Coach Wilson and Gary and told them all about Danny. They were excited. The Coach said, "Look, it sounds like he's really into you. But here's the thing. Whether it leads to something meaningful of not, it's a great experience for you. You've got to believe that guys are noticing you. He thought you were hot before he knew you were gay. He talked about you to his roommate."
My face was warm. I nodded. "I want to call him, but I think I should probably wait." They smiled. "Like what's the right amount of time?"
"There is no right amount of time," Gary said.
"Wait until after Christmas. You know, call him or text him asking how his Christmas was."
And that was the plan.
I got my car. Wow. It was more than I ever wanted. My mom and dad and I had a nice quiet Christmas Eve dinner. Everyone was coming for dinner on Christmas day when we'd open gifts.
I lay in bed trying to decide what I'd text Danny the next day. Merry Christmas was my obvious choice, but I wanted to be creative. Yeah, I was going nuts over him, but it felt good.
Lying there, I heard my phone chime. I looked at it.
My heart stopped and I smiled. It was a text from Danny. It said, "I never asked if it was okay to text you. Is it?"
With a huge smile on my face, I answered, "Yes, of course. Great to hear from you."
He text back: Merry Christmas. I know it's late. Did I wake you?"
No, just lying in bed awake.
Oh sorry, did I interrupt.
No haven't started yet lol
Me too. Been thinking about you.
My face tingled. I typed, Thinking about you too.
Good. How are things?
Great. I got a car for Christmas
OMG, fantastic. Does that mean I get to ride in it?
For sure. And I came out to my family.
OMG. Story. I want the story.
I text messaged, Can I call you now?
My phone rang. It was him. He said, "Hi Sexy."
I chuckled. The idea that someone would think of me as sexy, still surprised me. "Back at you," I said.
"Tell me, tell me, tell me."
And I did. I left out the part about the cancer and my mom being molested.
"That's great. I mean about your parents and your one sister and her boyfriend."
"Yeah, I'm most surprised by my mother."
"So you told them that you wanted to date me?" he said.
I laughed. "Yeah."
"I accept."
"But I haven't figured out where or when."
"I accept."
I laughed. "You're cool," I said.
"So, then you're driving back. When?"
"The dorms open Saturday, so I'll probably drive up then."
"Do you want company?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure, but don't you have your ticket already?"
"Yeah, but I can change it. I can fly up to LA."
"It's only a hundred miles. I can drive down and pick you up. Do you really want to make the trip?"
He laughed. "You're kidding right. Okay, listen. Can you leave before then? Like the day before or maybe Thursday?"
"Yeah, sure why?"
"Come and get me on Thursday. We'll drive up the coast and make a day of it. My roommates aren't coming back until Saturday. We can stay at my apartment Thursday and Friday nights. I'll cook for you. I'm really good."
My face was warm with excitement. "I know you're good."
He laughed. "You're funny."
"Sounds great," I said. "I can get out of here really early and head down. Then we can take off."
"Our first date," he said and laughed. "Are you hard?"
I laughed. "Yes," I said. "How did you know?"
"Because I am and I was hoping you were. Can you jerk off?"
"Yeah, sure. Where are you?"
"Mammoth. In the condo."
"Oh yeah, you do Christmas there. Where's your dad and brother?"
"Asleep. I'm in the living room, stroking my dick."
I laughed. "Thinking about me?"
"Listening to your voice. Remembering our night in your room. You stroking?"
"Yes."
We masturbated. He came. I came. "My first phone sex," I said.
"I like being first with you," he said.
"Is there anything I can be first with you?"
"Nah. I've done it all." He laughed. "I'm kidding. There's a couple of things I've never done, but we'll have to be together a while and be exclusive if you're interested in doing that and we'll really have to trust each other."
"Okay. What's that?"
"I've never fucked or been fucked raw."
"Same here," I said and chuckled. "Okay, that's something we can try for, if you want."
"So, you're interested in being someone's boyfriend maybe?" he asked.
My heart was pounding. "Well, not just someone's but yeah, I'd go for it for sure with the right guy. How about you?"
"Yeah. I'd like that. Actually, I'm not the playing around type. Even though that orgy was my fantasy."
"I'm glad that happened," I said. "It was really intense and you got to have two or your fantasies, the orgy and getting fucked while fucking and we got to meet."
He laughed. "Meet we did. I should go. I'm really excited about the drive up. I can't wait."
"Me too. I'll talk to you before then."
"For sure."
I tossed and turned all night thinking about that phone call. It's weird. My life seems to move along, then shit happens, I feel depressed and all fucked up and then something great happens. And Danny certainly was something great.
I wondered if I imagined that he just asked me if I was interested in having a boyfriend. He didn't say we were boyfriends but wanted to know if that was something I was open to. Could anyone say no to that with him, I wondered. I guess David did by fucking around.
Christmas day dinner was very awkward, but interesting. Amy pretty much ignored me. Dylan talked to me. I could tell he was trying to get by the fag remark. But what was interesting was my mother's attitude toward Amy. She seemed angry and curt. I didn't push it at all because I wasn't convinced that it couldn't quickly get turned on me. But I did enjoy dinner: lasagna, lots of lasagna and then pies.
I text messaged Danny early on New Years Eve. He said he was going to be at his brother's house (his brother was at UCSD and rented a house with friends) and bring in the New Year there.
He text messaged back: I want to call you at midnight. Will you be home or out?"
Home, I answered. Call me.
Bastian called me. He and I had been trading messages. I told him all that happened.
"I knew you two were perfect for each other."
"We're not boyfriends yet."
"This is what Nathan has told me about him. He's very interested in having a boyfriend. He's dated guys who've wanted in his pants and then move on. David was the last and that was last May. He quite the dating thing since then."
"Exactly what happened between them, or shouldn't you say."
"Danny is into the exclusive thing. That was the deal between him and David. But David isn't into it. A few months into them dating, Danny found out that David had been fucking around with other guys. David denied it. Danny broke it off. Then David said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again, but Danny told him he was done."
"And David wants him back," I said.
"Yeah."
I told Bastian that I came out to my family.
He said, "Well, that's nothing but good. Look this can happen if you want."
"I want."
"Then go for it. He was and is hot for you. He is looking for a boyfriend."
"He kind of hinted about that, or maybe he wanted to know if that's what I was into. He talked about maybe someday having a boyfriend and being exclusive and trusting and over time."
"Yeah, well, like I said, that's what he wants and I guess he was checking that out with you before he got in over his head. You have to remember, he's afraid of being hurt again too."
"It's just so weird to think that he has the same concerns that I do, but I know that's stupid of me. I get it now."
I lay in bed waiting for Danny's call. At 11:59 pm my phone rang.
"Hey," I said.
"Wish you were here."
"Me too."
"When it's midnight, think big kiss."
"You just got me hard," I said.
"You are such a great kisser," he said.
I left my house at 5:30am Thursday and got to his house at 7:15. He was waiting for me. He asked me to text him when I was twenty minutes out. I did. When I knocked, I could smell bacon. He opened the door and smiled the biggest smile. "I made us breakfast," he said. "Pancakes and bacon. If you want eggs I can scramble,"
"That's fine."
We embraced. He kissed me. We went into the kitchen. His father was sitting there, reading the paper. I knew he worked nights and thought he'd still be out, so I was surprised. "Dad," Danny said. "This is Jordan. Jordan, this is my dad."
"Glad to meet you, sir," I said.
He smiled and shook my hand. "Glad to meet you."
We ate breakfast, talked and then clean up. His dad was serious, but really nice and I soon felt very comfortable. He then said he was heading to bed. By 8:30 we were on the road.
He said, "Okay, so I'm sure we're going to hit traffic going through LA. Now we can take Hwy 5 up, it's about 470 miles and takes about 8 hours from here, or we can take the coast road stop for lunch and dinner and get there late tonight. It's only about fifty miles longer though."
"I'd like to take the coast road," I said.
"Me too. I know a great Mexican restaurant we can stop at in Santa Barbara."
And that's what we did. We talked the entire day. He talked about his mother, about his brother Ryan and his dad. He talked about the day his father gave him a box of condoms. He talked about Harley, who was at his brother's house. We talked about swimming in high school. And he told me about some guy who gave him the clap and then he came out to his father. He talked about dating and feeling lonely. I was glad that I talked to Bastian, because I was able to listen to him differently. Of course he had trauma, no matter how great he looked.
I talked about my childhood, my late puberty and being teased. When I did, he put his hand on my leg and said, "That's so fucked up. I'm sorry." And he sounded sad. I told him about The Coach and my dad and gymnastics. He liked that story. I told him about Hunter and what we did and how he reacted. We talked a lot and it felt great. I was nervous about mentioning my mother's cancer because I knew about his mom dying of cancer, but I did. He listened. We talked about how hard losing a parent can be.
I saw many different sides to him and felt comfortable opening up to him.
We then talked a lot about what our dreams were. He kept saying, "Chemistry, wow. I really admire you. That's intense."
"Well, being a doctor isn't an easy road."
"No, but Chemistry is like the one thing that scares the shit out of me. Oh did I tell you, I read the next two chapters. We should figure out how we want to do this."
"I read them too. I think we should work all the problems. You do the odd ones and I'll do the even ones. Then we'll get together and go over the chapter and you can talk about how to do the ones I've done and I'll talk about how I would do the ones you did and we can coach each other."
"Damn," he said. "I'm feeling less anxious about chemistry already. You know next year is biochem and it's like the class that everyone has to take and do really well in for med school. It's like a year long class and I'm already worried."
"I'm taking it too."
He looked at me and smiled. "Wow, great," he said.
"Well, I'm interested in drug research and,"
"Of course, you'd have to take biochem as part of your major."
I thought about saying something then decided not to and then did. "So, you'll help me get through biochem."
He laughed. "Me help you? We'll help each other," he said.
My cock got hard.
He was right the Mexican restaurant was great. We drove north and stopped for dinner and then to Palo Alto. We went to the grocery store before going to his apartment. Food for the next day. Then we went to his apartment. I was turned on before he closed the door behind us. We put stuff away and then decided on a shower. In the shower, we kissed and then gave each other head but hadn't brought each other to orgasm. Then it was to his bed. We wrestled each other, kissing, touching, thrust against each other, moaning and groaning. I took my cues from him. His body was strong and he used his weight and legs to move me around the bed. I didn't know that light biting could be so erotic. Then he'd relax and I'd do the same to him. We played for the longest time, two hours, and I loved it. It was almost better than the actually sex.
He got me on my back and then pressed my legs to my chest. He leaned forward and put his face to my butt and licked my hole. "Oh fuck," I moaned. He licked, kissing, pressed a finger in and then two. "Fuck me," I pleaded.
He put on a condom, lubed my ass and then knelt over me. "I've thought about this for weeks," he said.
"Me too."
Slowly he pressed into me. It hurt at first, but then didn't. He began thrusting. I pulled him down on me. We kissed. He thrust. I held him. He took hold of my cock and stroked. "No. I just want to feel you fucking me," I said. He thrust. He bit into my neck. Lying under him, folded in two, I knew I was vulnerable, but felt safe and secure. "My hair," I moaned. He grabbed a handful of my hair tightly. I moaned. He moaned. He thrust into me. I marveled at his strength and tenderness. I loved the power of his body.
I saw him check his condom and then he thrust hard and deep. I held him with my legs and arms as he came.
He lay on me breathing hard, kissing me. I held him tight against me. My cock was throbbing.
"What about you?" he said.
"I'm good for now."
He kissed me. We held each other.
"You want head or do you want to fuck me?"
"Head," I said.
He went down on me, gently at first and then he worked my cock hard. He brought me close a couple of times. "Don't stop this time, please," I said. He chuckled.
Not using his hand he brought me close. "I'm going to come," I moaned.
He stroked my cock several times, holding it against his chin. "Danny," I moaned.
I came and came hard and came on his face. He looked at me and smiled.
I chuckled. "It looks good on you."
We held each other. He fell asleep. I lay awake holding him.
In the morning, I fucked him and then gave him head. When he came it was all over my face. In the shower we washed each other and talked about what we'd do for the rest of the day.
Saturday came too quickly for me and I think for him. Jason showed up, dropped his stuff off and headed to his girlfriends apartment. "He'll be there most of the afternoon," he said. He came to the dorms with me. We set a schedule for our chemistry study sessions. He lingered. "How about we get together tomorrow," he said. "Maybe go to dinner. I'll see what my roommates are doing for dinner. Maybe we'll all go out or order in or cook. But why don't you plan on joining us."
"Yeah, sure. I'd love that."
He started to leave. I said, "Danny."
He turned.
"I'm in heavy like."
He smiled, walked to me and kissed me. "We both are then."
I did join them for dinner. It was fun. I watched them tease Danny about his "long dry spell" being over.
Bastian came to my room during the week. He told me that David heard that things were serious between Danny and me. David wasn't happy. "Who told you this?"
"Sam," Bastian said. Sam and David were roommates with Bastian and Kevin. Sam was David's friend. "He said serious. That's good."
"So, I think we probably shouldn't do stuff. I think it might fuck up things. I feel like he's really into us not messing with anyone else." He nodded. "Are you angry?"
"No, absolutely not. I get it, really. I really want this for you. I'm excited. You and Danny and Vicki and I can double date. He's is a great guy and so are you."
"You really are my best friend," I said.
He leaned over to kiss my cheek. I turned and we kissing, but not a long messy kiss. It was nice.
Danny and I saw a lot of each other. We studied in a classroom so that we would study and not jump each other. But that didn't always work.
We were talking about the preparation and physical properties of alcohols. He seemed lost. Then he got it. "Okay, I see it now."
I turned the pages to the problems. He said, "You know your intellect is so sexy."
I said, "I'm not smart in everything. This just makes sense to me."
"I used to do that. It's not sexy."
My stomach sank.
He said, "Say what I said to you." I stared at him and then repeated what he said. "Okay, I could say something like, I'm like the smartest person I know." He stared at me. "That would sound like you're puffing yourself up and that's not sexy. Or you can say what you did which is real dismissive. Of course you're not smart in everything. No one is. Or you could say, I like that you think I'm sexy. Or be funny and say something like, my intellect and my big dick. Or maybe say, I like fucking your brains too."
I nodded. "I just feel embarrassed when people compliment me."
"No, I get it. I used to do it all the time. It's still hard for me not to do it. But I like saying that you're sexy as hell and I want you to enjoy it."
"Let's try it again," I said.
He smiled. "You really get your sexy on when you explain this stuff the way you do," he said and grabbed his junk.
I thought for a moment. "It's my way of getting you horny as hell so that I can have my way with you."
He laughed. "It's working."
"Fuck, now you've got me hard."
He laughed. "You want to go to your room?"
"We'll never get back to studying."
"Live dangerously, then. Come with me," he said standing. I followed him. We went to the top floor of the building and found the men's room. The bathroom was empty. He pulled me into the last stall. "We'll have to be quick and quiet."
We pulled out our dicks, kissed, stroked each other, gave each other head and then aimed and shot our loads on the wall. Up came our pants and we were back at our books in ten minutes.
We did get a lot done. We sat with each other in class, went to lunch once in a while and he spent Wednesday nights with me in my room and we went out on Friday nights. I spent Friday night at his apartment. Jason, who he shared a room with, went to his girlfriend's apartment on Friday nights. We spent Saturdays together. Most of it was at the library, but then we'd go out on Saturday nights and head to my room for the night.
When a day went by and I didn't see him, I missed him. We both did well on our chem. midterm. Finals were upon us. Bastian and Vicki started joining us at the library. Jason and his girlfriend were there also. Although there was no official announcement of boyfriend-hood it was clear to me and everyone else that he and I were a couple.
The quarter went quickly. Danny and I spent a lot of time together. I got to know his moods, both sexual and non Ðsexual. His feeling were written all over his face and soon were expressed verbally. His body told the story of his moods sexually. He said the same of me. It wasn't odd for us to make out and fondle each other for a long while, while kissing. His body then spoke aggressively or passively. He claimed that my body also spoke to him.
In truth, I bottomed more often than not, but there were times when he was going to get fucked and he knew it. He would give himself to me with a smile, as if to say, okay, you can do your thing this time.
Another organic chemistry final. They never got easier to take. But Danny and I had studied and studied and studied. I left knowing I did well. There was nothing on the exam that I didn't know, so it was a matter of not making any stupid mistakes. I waited for him. He came out smiling.
"I know I did well," he said. "Thank you."
We sat and compared what we remembered our answers to be. If we got something wrong, we both screwed up, because our answers were the same.
He was done with finals. Bastian, Jason and I were taking a class together and still had to take the final, which was the next morning. Danny headed to his apartment. I met Bastian and Jason for a final cram/review session.
Danny's and my plan was to meet up outside the lecture hall after my final. We were then going to hang around that night and then head south. Danny would be coming to have dinner with my family and then I was driving him to San Diego. I was nervous about the dinner and tried to put it out of my mind. He seemed okay.
I was done with my final before Bastian and Jason. We agreed to wait for each other.
When I exited the building, I saw Danny pacing. When we made eye contact I knew immediately that something was wrong. He looked like I had never seen him before Ð furious.