Warning: this work contains sexual material involving two young men. If this offends you in any way or it is illegal to read this content in your area, LEAVE NOW!!
Here is chapter 4!! I hope you like it. I would just like to thank me friends Tula, Jessica, Damian, and Olivia for being my inspiration for the characters. I love you all.
Now, enjoy this chapter...
Lost Without Love
Chapter 4
It was a very quiet ride to Jason's house. He did look over at me a few times but I kept my eyes on the road. Once we got to his house, we made our way inside. He told me to go upstairs to his room and that he'd meet me there after getting us some drinks. I did as I was told.
Once I was in his room, I took a seat on his bed. When he came back, he took a seat next to me. We were quiet for about 5 minutes until I broke the silence.
"So...what was wrong at school earlier today?" I asked curiously.
"I was nothing." He said nervously.
"Jason, don't lie to me. I know you well enough to know when something is wrong."
"Ok, Ok there was...is something wrong."
"And that something would be...?"
"I hate that I hurt you. I was an asshole. I should've said something instead of laugh and go along with it. If you hate me, I understand." His voice broke on that last part.
"Jase, I don't hate you. It just hurt really bad when you didn't stick up for me. But I understand why."
"You do?"
"Yeah, you didn't want to look bad in front of your friends. It's understandable."
"Jase, don't say that. So what, you didn't stick up for me this one time. Big deal. Just because you make me mad doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend."
"You mean that?"
"I only say what I mean." I said sincerely and gave him a smile. "Look Jase, there's something that I've been meaning to tell you but I don't know how. I'm afraid of how you'll take it." I stammered through that whole sentence.
"Johnny, you know that you can tell me anything."
"I know but I just don't want you to hate me for it and abandon me." Tears started welling in my eyes."
"Johnny, just say it."
"Ok...Jason...I-I'm..."
"You're what Johnny? Just go ahead and say it." He said putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm gay...there, I said it." Tears were now falling down my face. We sat in silence for a while as my crying became heavier. The next thing I knew, Jason pulled me into him, wrapped his arms around me and just held me. We stayed like this for about 5 minutes then I was finally able to look at him.
"You okay?" He said smiling at me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that." I said sheepishly.
"Shhh..there's nothing to apologize for."
"You're not creeped out?" I said, a bit shocked.
"Does this answer your question?" Before I could react, he had his lips pressed against mine. I was shocked at first but then I just gave in. When I felt his tongue brush against my lips, I parted them and we started exploring each others mouths.
We played tonsil hockey for what seemed like hours until I broke the kiss. I sat there quietly trying to catch my breath and process what had just happened. "Wow." I managed to blurt out.
"Yeah..."
"So, you're gay?" I asked, still surprised by his previous action.
"I kissed you, didn't I? He said with a goofy grin.
"Oh yeah, you did." I laughed.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that for." He said sheepishly.
"Can I tell you something else?" I asked nervously.
He took my hand in his and said,
"I know, I've liked you for a really long time too."
My jaw hit the ground once again. He laughed at the expression on my face.
He said, "You're really cute when you look all surprised."
I felt myself blush at his comment. No one has ever called me cute or anything. Well, except for my aunts and stuff but that's a totally different story.
"Jason, while we're on confessional here, I need to tell you something else...I think I'm in love with you. I have been since we started high school. I just haven't had the courage to tell you, let alone I never knew you were gay yourself." I admitted.
He took my hand in his, "Johnny, I don't think I'm in love with you. I know for a fact. I used to think that you thought of me as this big, tough, asshole jock guy."
"I never thought of you that way." I said, giving his hand a squeeze.
"Really?"
"Really" I leaned in and gave him a soft, tender kiss. When I pulled away he asked,
"Um...Would it be weird if I asked you to be my boyfriend?" His face turned a bright red.
"Of course not, and yes, I would love to be your boyfriend."
"Really?! You mean it?" I laughed at his excitement. "Yes, I do mean it."
"And...um would it be weird if I told you that I love you?" He blushed again.
"No, it wouldn't, because guess what? I love you too." I gave his hand another squeeze. I then looked at the time and realized it was almost six o' clock.
"Jase, I hate to do this but I have to get going."
"Are you sure you want to go back to an empty house?"
He did make a point. No one was ever home anyway so no one would miss me. Plus, I didn't want to be without Jason. "Not really"
"You can stay here if you like" He said with a goofy grin on his face.
"Are you sure your parents won't mind?
"Nah, they're cool with anyone staying over. Plus, they know I'm gay." He said nervously.
"Th-they do?...That's nice." I stuttered.
"Yeah, as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters to them, gay, straight, whatever." He had a big smile on his face. By this time, with the thought of me still be closeted to my parents, it also made me think about the thought of actually telling them. I knew I had to eventually but I didn't know how. I finally came out of my thought and I realized that I was crying. Jason was turned away from me and when he turned to look at me, he became concerned.
"Baby, what's the matter?" He came to the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I lightened up a bit when he called me baby.
"M-my parents don't know that I'm gay."
"They don't?" He asked curiously.
"No. I'm scared to tell them. I'm afraid of what they're going to say and think. I'm scared that they're gonna hate me or something. I'm just not ready to face what ever comes after telling them." My tears started flowing faster as I said that last part.
"Shh, it's going to be alright. If and when you're ready to tell them, you won't have to do it alone. I'm going to be by your side no matter what. I love you and that's never, ever going to change." His eyes never left mine as he told me this.
Before he could say anything else, I brought my lips to his. It was just a soft, tender kiss but then he placed his hand on either side of my face to keep me from breaking it. My lust for him was beginning to surface. I then wrapped my arms around his neck. Before I knew it, we were getting pretty hot and heavy and I noticed that he began to slip his hand under my shirt. I began to get very uncomfortable and had to stop.
"Jase, wait." I said breaking the kiss, breathing heavily.
"Huh?...Oh, sorry about that. I guess I was getting a little carried away."
"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault. I was getting into it as well. Baby, I'm not ready for this level just yet. Besides we just got together. I need time."
"Babe, don't worry. I'm not ready either. It's just that it's hard to keep my hands off of you." He started giggling like a kid in a candy store.
"I can't resist you either. Look, I'm pretty tired. I know it's still a bit early but I want to get some sleep."
"Sure thing, I'm beat."
I got off the bed and asked,
"Do you want me to take the floor? I don't want to intrude and keep you out."
"Hell no, you are in the bed with me, mister. You're my boyfriend, I think it'd be ok to share a bed."
"Are you sure?" I asked, still unsure about it.
He came around and put his arms around me before he said,
"Baby, if I wasn't sure, do you think I'd be telling you that you should?"
"No, of course not."
"You didn't bring extra clothes."
"Nope"
With that he pulled from our embrace and turn to his dresser to find something I could wear. "What do you normally wear? I'm pretty sure that I can find something for you."
"I...uh...I actually sleep...naked."
"Oh...uh...me too." Jason stuttered.
"Well, let's get to it then." I said nervously.
We started to undress and then once we were naked, Jason climbed into bed with me following. Once I was in bed, I turned to face the wall. Jason turned around to look at me. We stared at each other for a while and he smiled at me. He then leaned in and gave me a soft kiss.
"I love you." He said looking into my eyes.
"I love you too." I kissed him again but this time it was a bit more intense than before. I broke the kiss and moved to lay my head on his chest. Once I was comfortable, he wrapped his arms around me and we both fell asleep...
Well, there's chapter 4!! I hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 5 is in the works. I will have it out soon. If you have any questions, suggestions, or comments, please email me at johnnymas1288@rocketmail.com.