Hey all...This is a little story I wrote cause when I squeezed my brain, this is what came out. And if you know anything about me, you will know who is in it coughJCcough. This is a one chapter story, so please write and tell me what you think:
k_magic@prodigy.net
This is dedicated to the one that has captured my heart and showed me that which I thought I never knew nor needed. My life will never be the same. {Hugs} and Kisses to you Lord Jeremy.
Shout outs to my Hollywood Brothers: Jay, Eric, Dennis and Nick. You make my life a much brigher place. I am a better person for knowing each of you.
Shout outs to my Little Brothers: Davey, Nicky, Lee and RyRy. I know we don't talk like we used to, but you are all still in my heart.
PEACE TO Y'ALL
Disclaimer: Read the following on your own accord. Take from it only what you feel your soul could use, for your brain ultimately knows the truth. Smile and enjoy.
This story is fiction and not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of any real person mentioned in the story.
In Memory of "Richard Grayson" Miss ya guy.
*********** LOVE BEYOND ***********
He rolled over in an uncomfortable sleep. His body was sore and his mind was exhausted from a week of hell. The three concerts in five days covering three cities was pretty normal. But add to that, the fact that the three cities were in three different states and all the traveling was done by bus. He really needed the three days off they were getting, they all could. And he was going to take full advantage of every single second of them.
While preparing for bed that night, his only thought was of sleeping until two or three the next afternoon. And if any of those freaks that were sleeping in the house with him decided to try to wake him any earlier, the next concert would feature the group minus a member.
The house was peaceful, almost too quiet and he found that sleep was not coming to him. He rolled over and looked at the clock. It read 1:05 and he had been tossing and turning for the past three hours. Maybe he was too used to hearing Joey snoring on the bus...or Chris grinding his teeth...or the faint sound of music coming from Justin's headphones...or the little whistling noises that came from Lance as the air went in and out of his nose. Yeah, it was too quiet.
He sighed as he closed his eyes in hopes that sleep would come to him. It didn't. He felt uncomfortable and no matter what position he lay in, it just didn't feel right. The night was hot and the house being old, was not air conditioned. He got up and went to the window and slowly opened it. The night was still, with no hint of any breeze entering the oversized window. It was a normal California summer night, but at least it wasn't humid like back in Florida. He sat down on the wide window sill looking out into the dark clear night.
The house that management had rented for them was one straight out of his dreams. It was a house that he pictured himself living in when all this was over. An old Victorian house on a big chunk of property in the middle of no where. It stood in isolation, surrounded by a forest of pine trees and in the distance there was a small lake. When they first drove up to the house, it looked so out of place. Not often do you find such a big Victorian house out in the sticks like this, but there is stood in all it's glory.
When they walked in, he fell in love with the house. They had spent an hour exploring the house...Eight bedroom, four bathrooms, a library, a huge kitchen, a formal dining room, a living room and an atrium. He knew he could spend days exploring every inch of the house.
After exploring, they all grabbed their luggage, that the driver had left in the entry way, and headed up to the bedrooms. It didn't matter to him which room he got, just as long as it had a bed. After all the guy picked, there was four rooms left. He walked in and out of them settling on the last one. Besides being the furthest away from all the guys, it was the one that he felt the most at home in as soon as he entered it. He felt an overwhelming sense of peace as he unpacked his clothes. It felt like he was at home.
But there he was in the middle of the night feeling too uncomfortable to sleep. He drew his knees up to his chest as he stared out the window. The stillness of the night was unnerving. There wasn't a sound to be heard. No cars...No airplanes...No rustling of leaves... Not even a cricket chirping...Nothing. He strained his ears to pick up any sound...but the walls were too thick to hear any of the noise that he spent the last few years sleeping with on the bus. He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. As the air rushed out of his nose, he felt a slight movement of cold air in his ear. His whole body broke out in goose bumps as his eyes flew open. His eyes scanned the dark room, but saw nothing. He stood up in front of the window and looked out.
"Get a grip Josh, you're tired and your imagination is getting the better of you."
He still felt hot, but he wrapped his arms around himself, feeling his skin as the goose bumps started to disappear. He took another deep breath and all of a sudden, he felt something moving across his back. Like a finger lightly touching his skin and moving slowly across his back, barely touching it. He jumped and turned around expecting to see one of the guys behind him, screwing with him. There was no one there. All of a sudden he didn't feel all that comfortable in the room. He walked quickly across the room and grabbed his robe and threw it on. His heart was beating so fast, he could feel the blood pumping in and out of it.
"Get a grip...get a grip..." he whispered to himself
He quietly opened the door and walked down the hall. He had the strangest sensation, as if someone was following him. He looked behind him as he walked down the hall, but there was nothing there. He quickly walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The house was still quiet as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottled water. He carried it into the living room and sat down on the couch. He opened the bottle and took a drink. As the cold liquid went down his throat, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye.
JC lowered the bottle from his lips as a young boy came running into the room. His body started to shake as he realized that the boy was totally transparent and was running in slow motion. The boy glanced behind him as another boy came running in after him. He sat there staring wide eyed at the scene before him. His mind was telling him to get up and run, but his body wouldn't respond. He wanted to scream, but his mouth remained still. The first boy ran up to the piano and sat down.
"I have to practice now." The boy said in a very sweet voice that echoed through JC's ears.
"It's ok, I love to hear you play." The other boy spoke up in a voice that had the same effect on JC as the first.
The first boy started play and as the sound of the piano hit JC's ears, all his fears melted away. The music was beautiful. He continued to look at the scene before him. Both boys were about 16 years old. The one sitting at the piano had blonde hair and these soulful brown eyes that he kept closed as he played. The other boy was watching his friend play with his ice blue eyes focused on his friend's face. He had brown hair and as JC continued to look at him, he couldn't help but notice that the boy looks so much like he did when he was that age. The boy's fingers moved across the piano keys in such a fluid and graceful way. As the tune came to an end, the boy opened his eyes and looked directly into his friend's eyes.
They sat there staring at each other for a minute and then the blue eyed boy sat down on the piano bench.
"That was so beautiful Jeremy, What's it called?"
"I don't know, I just made it up."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I pictured you in my mind and my hands moved on their own."
As he finished saying that, the other boy leaned over and kissed Jeremy. Their lips came together like the first kiss of youth. So awkward, yet so loving. They broke apart and continued to look into each other's eyes. A smile took over both of their faces as they both faded away into the night.
JC sat there staring at the empty piano bench. The tune echoed in his mind, as he stared unblinking at the darkened corner of the room.
"What the fuck was that?" he whispered to himself as he closed his eyes and shook his head.
His eyes flew open as the sound of the piano broke the silence of the room. There sitting on the piano bench was the two boys, as they had been a few minutes before. The boys had switched places, with the one named Jeremy seated next to the other one, who had his hands on the piano keys. JC sat there as before unable to move, just watching the scene before him. Jeremy was sitting there watching as the other boy began playing. The tune he was playing was beautiful as the one that Jeremy had played, but had a more soulful sound to it. Jeremy had his eyes closed and was swaying his head back and forth to the music. As the tune ended, Jeremy opened his eyes and leaned over and kissed the other boy on the cheek.
"That was beautiful...see you are a natural. God, you've only been playing for two months and you are already better than I am. You were meant to play the piano."
"You're a great teacher." He said as he leaned over, grabbing the back of Jeremy's head, and pulled him into a kiss.
JC sat there unblinking as he watched these two young lover as if he was watching a movie. They broke their kiss and Jeremy stood up and took the other boy by the hand. He smiled at him and nodded his head towards the door. The other boy smile and stood up. As they walked towards the door, they faded away and again the room as still.
JC sat there unable to move, unable to think, unable to do anything. A tear feel down his cheek as the love between these two entities hit him as nothing had hit him before. He had never felt love in his life for anyone and what he had seen before him is what he longed for in his life. JC put the cap back onto the bottle of water, setting it down on the floor as he curled up on the couch with tears flowing out of his eyes. He closed them hoping it would stem the tide of tears. Within a minute he was asleep.
His eyes shot open at the sound of the piano. He jumped up expecting to see the two ghostly figures. Instead it was Lance, sitting at the piano softly playing a tune with his eyes on JC.
"G'Morning."
"Morning. What gets you up this early?"
"Early? It's 3 pm Josh."
"Really?...Where are the guys?" He said sitting up and yawning with his arms outstretched.
"They went down to the lake. I didn't feel like swimming, so I thought I would stay here and bug you."
"Gee thanks."
"You're quite welcome. Now, mind telling me what you're doing sleeping down here?"
"Don't know...I really couldn't sleep last night." He said thinking back at what had happened last night, wondering if it was real or not.
"By the way, the two songs you were playing on the piano last night...
In the middle of the night." He said stressing the fact. "Were really good. Are they anything we might be working on later as a group, or are they going to be stashed away in the Josh file?"
"Huh?"
"The two songs you were playing on the piano. We all heard you last night playing and we all think the music was beautiful."
JC sat there with a blank look on his face, knowing now that it all wasn't a dream.
"Earth to Josh...Earth to Josh. What's up with you today?"
"Uh Nothing Lance. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower now."
"Ok. I think I'm going to go up and take a nap...Since I didn't get a full nights sleep."
"Shut up...You know damn well it didn't bug you at all. If that whistling you do doesn't wake you, nothing would."
"I do not whistle while I sleep."
"Want me to break out that tape we made?"
"Go take your shower freak."
JC walked out of the room and went up to take a shower. All while he was upstairs, his thoughts were on the happening of the night before. He sat on the bed in just a towel after his shower, lost in thought.
"I'm going crazy...That's what it is...None of that happened last night...None of it. I couldn't sleep, so I walked down stairs and sat at the piano and started to play. That's got to be what happened."
He shook his head and got up and got dressed. As he finished tying his shoes, he got up off the bed and turned towards the window. There standing in front of it was the two boys from the night before. JC started to back up and tripped over his feet and fell on his ass. He sat there on the floor staring at the two boy looking out the window. Jeremy was in front with the other boy standing behind him with his arms wrapped around him. They were just looking out the window.
"Let's head to the lake, it's too hot in the house."
Jeremy turned around and smiled at him.
"Race ya."
They separated and started to run. JC's eyes followed them and as they neared the door they started to fade. They disappeared as they ran through the door way just as Lance walked through into the room.
"Josh...are you alright. I heard a bang."
"Yeah. I just tripped. I'm fine."
"Are you sure you're OK. You look like you saw a ghost."
"The only ghost I saw was your pasty white skin walking through the door. Now help me up."
Lance took a step forward and grabbed JC's hand and pulled him up.
"Are the guys still at the lake?"
"I think so...I haven't heard them come back yet."
"Cool. I think I'll head down there. Are you going back to your nap?"
"Yeah. I'm glad you're leaving the house though. It's pretty hard to get any sleep with you around."
He flashed JC as smile and walked out of the room. JC stood there for a second trying to gather his thoughts. He didn't understand why this wasn't freaking him out more than it was. He had seen two ghost three times and he felt nothing out of the ordinary. He walked out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door into the heat of the day. As he hit the trees, their shade cooled the air slightly. He walked slowly among the trees, enjoying the sounds of the forest. All around him was buzzing of insects and the sound of an odd bird here and there.
In the sounds of the forest, he could hear faint laughter. It was coming from all around him. He turned around and around, trying to figure out which way it was coming from. He knew the lake was down the path and the guy were there, but maybe they were off having some fun somewhere else. It sounded like it was coming from his left, so he turned and started off in that direction. The laughter was just ahead of him and it sounded as if he was following just behind them.
"Hey guys wait up." He yelled, but got no reply.
He started to walk faster, but still was not able to catch up with the guys. After five minutes of walking, he came to a slight clearing and in the middle was an out cropping of boulders. He could hear the laughter coming from a small opening in the rocks, which appeared to be a small cave. As he reached the entrance of the cave, the laughter stopped. From inside, there was a flickering glow of light. He walked in and there was a narrow passage of about five feet, then it opened up.
"Ok guys, what's so funny?" He said as he entered, expecting to see Justin, Joey and Chris sitting in the cave.
The cave was empty. The light was coming from a candle sitting on a slight ledge of rock. He walked over to it and as he looked at it, he reached out to touch it. His hand went right through it. He waved his hand back and forth through the candle, unable to comprehend that it wasn't right there in front of his face. Yet there it was lighting up the cave. From behind him came the laughter he heard before. JC turned around and there standing side by side at the cave wall was Jeremy and the unnamed boy.
"I love it Jeremy...Thank you." The boy said as he turned and pulled Jeremy into a hug and kissed him. They broke apart and Jeremy grabbed the boy by the hand and took him to a blanket laid out on the floor of the cave. They sat down staring into each other's eyes and then leaned forward into another kiss. Then he laied Jeremy onto his back and continued to kiss him.
JC stood there watching the two lover kissing as their images faded away. As the light of the candle faded, he looked at the wall and saw:
JM and JC forever
scratched into the side of the cave. JC's eyes grew wide as the candle faded away, leaving him standing in the darkness of the cave.
He stood in the dark cave for so long, he had no clue how long he had been there. Slowly he felt his body moving forward until he saw the light of the sun. He shielded his eyes from the glare as he emerged from the cave. He walked blindly forward without paying any attention to where he was going. All that was going through his mind was the image of what was scratched into the side of that cave. Could this be some memory of his past. No it couldn't be. At that age he was just starting out on the Mickey Mouse Club. That wasn't him and he knew no one named Jeremy.
The light of the forest gave way to the glare of the sun as he stepped out into the openness around the lake.
"Hey Josh...it's about time you woke up."
JC snapped out of his trance and looked up. There sitting on some rocks was Justin, Joey and Chris.
"Hey, how's the water."
"It's great. Where's your suit?"
"Didn't bring it, I was just going to lounge with you guys and hang my feet in the water."
The guys laid back down to sunbathe as JC walked inbetween them and sat down on a rock and took his shoes off. He put his feet into the cool water and leaned back and closed his eyes. The image inside the cave came back to him. He couldn't get his mind off of it.
"Josh...JOSH!"
"Huh...Wha...sorry Joe. What did you want." JC said as he opened his eyes and looked over at Joey.
Joey stared back at him as did Justin and Chris.
"What's up with you Josh. You seem out of it."
"Just a little tired."
"Well, if you didn't stay up all night playing the piano, you wouldn't have that problem."
"Shut up Chris...Josh...Man, what you played on the piano last night. That was pure beauty man."
"Thank Just." JC said glancing down, not being able to lie to his friend looking them in the eye.
"Hey, we're heading back to the house. You coming."
"Nah, I'm going to hang out here for awhile. Relax. It's so nice out here."
"K Josh, we'll catch you later."
"Later."
The three guy got up and gathered their stuff and headed off. The whole lake area grew quiet as they stepped into the forest and disappeared. JC splashed some water over his legs and took off his shirt. He leaned back and closed his eyes again. The sun beat down on his face as the light splashing of the water at his feet stopped. The quietness of the lake was interrupted by as loud splash. JC's eyes flew open as he looked towards the sound. The surface of the lake was still but about twenty feet away from him he saw the image of Jeremy's head surface from the still surface. His whole body then emerged out of the water as he walked out of the lake. The surface of the water never moved. Jeremy walked out and over to the shore where the other boy lay on a blanket. He sat down next to him and shook his head. JC watched as the drops of water flew off of Jeremy's hair. As the water hit the other boy's back, he jumped up and tackled Jeremy and climbed on top of him. He grabbed Jeremy's arms over his head as he sat on top of his chest.
"That was a dirty trick Sir Jeremy."
"Hey I thought you would like a nice cool shower."
"Yeah, it is hot out here. Wanna go back out with me?"
"Any day."
They both got up and ran into the water. As they got deeper and deeper, they splashed water at each other. JC watched them, but the surface water of the lake remained still. When the water had reached their neck level, they moved together into a kiss. Their image once again faded and the lake grew quiet once again.
A feeling grew in JC's heart and he realized what it was. It was pure jealousy. He was jealous of the relationship that was being shown to him through Jeremy and his boyfriend. It was something that he wanted in his life. Something he needed.
JC grabbed his shoes and got up. He started the walk back to the house lost in thought. Before he knew it, he was back and sitting on the bed of his room. The house was quiet as he leaned back and closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his check as the darkness of sleep over took him.
He awoke to the quiet of the night, laying in the same exact spot he had fallen asleep in. The house was still hot and he was sticky with sweat. As he got up, a piece of paper fell off his chest. He picked it up, walked over and turned on the light. He squinted his eyes as the room lit up. He looked down at the paper which had Lance's writing on it.
Josh,
We checked on you before dinner and you were asleep. We decided to let you sleep cause you looked exhausted today. Ted brought us dinner and yours is on the table. I checked on you before we headed to bed and you were still out. Try not to play the piano tonight so the rest of us can sleep like normal people. You vampires are just too annoying.
See ya in the morning (I promise you won't shrivel up into dust by the light of the sun)
Lance
JC set the note down on the dresser and walked quietly out of the room. He went to the bathroom and washed his face with cold water, then headed down stairs into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, he sat down at the table and opened the container that was sitting there for him. He grabbed the chopstick and started eating the cold Chinese food. All he could think of was everything that had happened since he stepped foot into the house. He finished his meal and threw the empty container away. Then he walked into the living room and stood next to the piano.
He could hear the music that Jeremy had played in his head. The beauty of the song brought a tear to his eye. He closed his eyes and the image of Jeremy popped into his mind. JC could feel his heart start to beat faster as the continued to think of Jeremy. A bang in the kitchen snapped him back to reality. He walked back to the kitchen, but didn't see anyone. He noticed that the back door was open, which he didn't notice before. He opened the screen door and when the it fell back into place behind him, he heard the same bang as he had just heard.
"Hello?" He whispered out into the night, knowing he wouldn't get an answer.
"Over here." A voice in the darkness whispered back.
JC jumped a little and squinted his eyes to peer into the darkness.
"Come on. Try and find me."
"Is this a joke. Justin? Lance? Quit playing around."
"I'm right here. Come on you big chicken."
It then hit him. It was Jeremy's voice. He quickly went into the house and searched the kitchen for a flashlight. He found one and ran out the door. As he hit the forest edge where he thought the voice came from, he came to a stop.
"Jeremy?" He whispered out, feeling weird about calling out the name.
"I'm right heeeeere." Jeremy's voice echoed farther in the forest.
JC started walking into the woods. As he walked, the voice ahead of him beckoned him on. Soon he was at the small clearing with the cave. Jeremy's voice came from within it.
"Almost there."
JC walked over to the cave entrance and entered it. The flash light beam shined on the sandy earth as he stepped forward into the main part of the cave. The cave went dark as the flashlight went out. JC fumbled around with the switch, but it didn't turn on. A slight panic went through his body, shaking him to the core as a moan hit his ears. He turned and reached around in the darkness, trying to find his way out of the cave.
"Don't go."
The voice stopped JC in his tracks. He turned towards the voice... Jeremy's voice.
"Why shouldn't I." Another voice spoke out in the darkness.
"Cause I love you."
"Is that enough?"
The cave lit up as a match was struck and a candle lit. Jeremy blew out the match and threw it. It landed lightly between JC's feet. JC looked up and sitting on a blanket on the floor of the cave was the couple JC had grown so jealous of, totally nude. They were sitting, looking into each other's eyes. Jeremy's hand went up to the other boy's face and he stroked the boy's cheek with the back of his fingers. They look older now, probably JC's own age.
"Please...I can't live without you. I can't."
"But I can't stay Jeremy. It's not right, we are not right."
"Yes we are. We love each other and that is all that matters. Tell me the truth... Please."
"I can't..I have to go Jeremy. I have to."
The boy stood up, walked over to where his clothes lay on the floor of the cave. He began to get dressed. Jeremy sat there watching, tears falling down his cheeks.
"You can't love her as much as you love me. We were meant to be together. Please stay here. Please."
Without turning to look at Jeremy, the other boy started to walk away. JC watched as the boy stopped next to him staring straight ahead toward the cave opening that lead out of the cave. He was a mirror image of JC, except he had longer hair. Then he spoke without turning.
"I've loved you forever Jeremy and I always will. Until the day my life is through."
He then ran out of the cave. JC turned back towards Jeremy, who was still sitting on the cave floor with his face buried in his hands. JC moved forward towards him. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he kneeled down on the cave floor next to Jeremy and reached out with his shaking hand.
He slowly put his hand forward onto Jeremy shoulder and as he touch it he felt a shock. He pulled his hand back as Jeremy looked up straight into his eyes.
"Why?"
JC fell backwards as he stared into Jeremy's tear filled eyes.
"I....I...." JC mumbled as Jeremy continued to look him in the eyes.
Jeremy faded away before him and the cave was plunged into darkness. Slowly the beam of light from the flashlight came to life. JC looked up and the circle of light from the flashlight was on the cave wall. Inside the circle was the scratched wording he had seen before. He got up and walked over to the cave wall. His fingers went up and traced the lettering.
JM and JC forever
As his fingers traced it over and over again, he felt an emotion in his heart that he had never felt before. He covered his eyes with his hands and fell to his knees crying.
"I love you Jeremy." Slipped out of his lips once and then echoed into his ears inbetween his sobs. He fell to the cave floor into darkness.
When JC awoke, the flashlight had dimmed until it was almost out. The darkness of the cave surrounded him as he stood up. Pain shot through his head as he stretched and yawned. The pounding headache was almost unbearable as he picked up the flashlight and walked out of the cave. He could see the sun raising through the trees as he got his bearings and started walking back to the house. When he got back, he went to his room and got some aspirin from his bags. Then went into the bathroom, downed the pills and then looked at himself in the mirror. He glared at the image of himself in the mirror and his red and puffy eyes glared back. His hair was a big mess and he had dirt and impressions of pebbles on his cheek from sleeping on the floor of the cave. He groaned as he walked over to the shower and turned it on. When the water got up to temperature, he stepped in and just stood under the running water.
After about 5 minutes he finally started to wash his burned out and sore body. He finished and turned the water off. Slowly he stepped out of the shower, dried off and wrapped the towel around himself. He gathered up his dirty clothes and walked back to his room, shutting the door behind him. After placing his dirty clothes in his bag, he laid down on the bed with his hands crossed behind his head. He laid there staring up at he ceiling as someone lightly knocked on the door.
"Josh, can I come in." Justin whispered as he poked his head into the door.
Seeing that JC's eyes were open, he stepped in and closed the door behind him. Justin walked over to the bed and sat down.
"Josh..."
JC didn't answer and continued to stare up at the ceiling.
"Is there something wrong Josh? Josh? You're scaring me, please answer me."
"I'm fine Justin."
"Is there something you want to talk about?"
"There is nothing to talk about."
"I think there is. Like how come your sleeping pattern changed all of a sudden. Or why you have been acting like a zombie. Or why you are not spending anytime with us relaxing."
"I said I'm fine."
"I don't think you are. Do you want me to call Johnny?"
"Justin, can't you just leave me alone. I said I was fine and I meant it. I'm not a baby and I do not need you calling Johnny just cause I haven't been in the mood to play with you. Can you please just leave me alone."
"Fine Josh...Have it your way. I'll leave you alone. But if you do need to talk about anything, I'm here for you...OK?"
"Yeah, fine...OK Justin. Thank you."
Justin got up off the bed and looked back at JC, who was still laying on the bed exactly as he was when Justin had entered the room. He face looked like it was set in stone and his eyes remained unblinking. He turned and walked to the door. He opened the door, looked back at JC once more and then carefully closed it.
JC remained in the same position as he was hours ago when Justin had first entered the room. During those four hours, he could hear foot steps outside his door, but the door never opened. He figured that one of them was Lance and the other was Joey. Chris knew better than to disturb JC when he was in a mood and he knew JC was in a mood from what Justin probably told them.
Finally Lance barged into the room and walked up to the side of the bed and stood there staring down at JC.
"What?"
"Lunch is here."
"So."
"So? So get your ass downstairs and eat it."
"I'm not hungry."
"I don't give a shit. Get your skinny ass downstairs."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
JC finally broke his stare at the ceiling and glared at Lance. Lance stood there staring right back at him, hoping that JC would fall for his bluff. Lance's hands were shaking and he continued to stare JC right in the eye.
"You may be able to pull that shit with Justin, but it's not going to work for me. Now, get up...get dress and get downstairs. We're all waiting on you."
Lance turned and started walking out of the room.
"Fine...Whatever."
As Lance exited the room, JC stood up and walked over to his bags and pulled out some clothes and got dressed. He went to the bathroom, threw some gel in his hair and walked downstairs. All the guys were sitting around the table and looked up at him as he entered the room.
JC sat down in the empty chair and looked around. All four guys were staring at him.
"What? Do I have a bugger on my nose or something?"
"No...It's just good to see you awake and among the living." Joey said with a smirk on his face.
"So, where did you sleep last night anyways? Find some hottie in the woods to hook up with?"
"What is that suppose to mean Chris?"
"Nothin' man...I was just saying..."
"Whatever."
"Bro...We're just worried about you. You haven't been the normal ole Josh that we know and love. Ever since we've stepped foot in this house, you've been acting really weird."
"Justin...I told you before. I'm fine. Now would you please just pass me my freakin dinner."
Lance handed JC his dinner and they sat there in silence eating. JC quickly finished his food, got up and threw the container in the garbage. He looked at his friends sitting around the table staring at him, shook his head and walked out of the back door.
"What he fuck is up with him?"
"Knock it off Chris. You know this week has been hell. Let him relax in his own way."
"But Lance...he's staying up all night, sleeping all day and he disappeared last night. He looked like shit this morning and he's been acting like a total asshole all day."
"Come on Justin...It Josh. He's like that sometimes. It just seems worse now cause we're all a little tired."
"Joey's right. I mean I get sick of hanging around all you idiots too. Maybe Josh is being the smart one around here. After all, it's back to the tour starting tomorrow."
"All I know is, I'm getting as much sleep in as possible today and tonight."
"Just what we need, a Chris that is wired from having too much sleep. But that does sound awfully nice. I think I'll join you."
"Oh no you won't Joe. I like you and all, but you are not stepping foot in my room."
"And for that lame reply, you're dishes."
Lance threw his empty dinner container at Chris and walked out of the kitchen. Justin and Joey did the same, leaving Chris to pick everything up and throw them away. They all went upstairs to take naps.
JC was walking through the forest, lost in thought. He didn't know why he exploded at the guys like that. Nor did he know why he was acting the way he was. He felt so tired...so emotionally drained...so... so...lonely. It was an emptiness he felt inside and he knew what he wanted...what he needed. He longed for love. The kind that he saw in Jeremy.
He looked up and there in front of him was the cave. Slowly he walked over to the entrance and walked in. The darkness enveloped him as the cool air of the cave hit him. He stood in the darkness, wishing his eyes could see what he knew was there. His initials scratched into the cave wall attached to someone else's forever.
"Why?" He heard softly in the darkness.
He stared into the darkness, trying to see the area of the cave where the voice had come from. The cave grew lighter as an image of that candle, long ago burned to nothing, formed. There standing at the cave wall was Jeremy. He was looking at the inscription on the cave wall and tracing over it with his fingers.
"You said you loved me...You said we'd be together forever. Why did you leave me Josh. Why?"
JC stood there in shock...He said Josh. JC walked closer to Jeremy and as before, put out his hand as if to rest it on his shoulder. Before his hand reached Jeremy's shoulder, he turned around and looked JC right in the eyes.
"You said forever Josh...Why did you leave? Don't you love me?"
JC stood there looking at Jeremy in the eyes.
"I do love you." Came softly out of JC's lips as his hand went up to Jeremy's face and stroked his cheek with the back of his index finger. As JC finger stroked the air, little by little his finger began to feel the softness of Jeremy's cheek. He pressed a little harder and he could feel Jeremy as if he was stroking a real person's cheek. His hand stopped and he turned his hand over and began to feel all over Jeremy's face. His hand stopped as his palm rested on Jeremy's other cheek. JC leaned over and brought his lips close to Jeremy's.
"I love you like no other Jeremy." He said as his lips came in contact with Jeremy's.
The softness of Jeremy's lips faded and JC opened his eyes to darkness.
"Jeremy?" JC spoke out as he reached around in the darkness. His hands came in contact with the cave wall.
His heart fell and he leaned up against the wall. He slid down to the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he rocked back and forth in the darkness. His mind was racing. How could what just happened be? But in his mind and his heart, he loved Jeremy. He loved him as if he was real and nothing could change that fact.
JC emerged out of the cave 5 hours later having sat in the same position, with the same thoughts going over and over in his mind. His whole body ached and his mind felt like mush. These days off was suppose to be for him to relax and unwind, but he was worse off then before he came here. He slowly made his way back to the house in the twilight of the evening. He walked into the house through the front door. All the guys were sitting in the living room watching TV. He walked in and sat down on the piano bench.
"Josh, you look like shit. I don't give a fly fuck if you yell and scream, but would you please tell us what's going on in that head of yours."
"I can't Lance. I don't even know myself. I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting the last few days. It was unfair of me to treat you the way I did. I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's cool. You had some stuff to work through on your own and we understand. I hope you understand that we are all here for you. We love you Josh and anything that affects you, affects us all."
"Thanks Just."
They all smiled at JC as he turned on the piano bench and put his hands on the keys of the piano. He closed his eyes and a smile came across his face as an image of Jeremy's face popped into his mind. His fingers started to move across the keys as Joey turned the tv off and all eyes focussed on JC.
He played on with his eyes closed. One piece of music leading into another. He never stopped... Never opened his eyes... Never even acknowledged that the guys were there. On and on he played. Every once and a while a tear rolled down his cheek. He let them slowly fall down his face until then dropped off onto his lap. All four of the guys sat there unmoving, lost in the music that their best friend was sharing with them. In their hearts they knew that this was a gift from JC, maybe not intended for them, but one that they would never want to miss. Unlike JC, they didn't let their tears fall without their hands wiping them away. Lance seemed the most touched by JC's music as if the meaning of the songs hit him straight in the heart.
JC's hands came to a stop and the last sound of the piano faded from the room. He sat there with his hand resting on the keys and his eyes shut. Justin got up and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around JC and kissed him on the cheek.
"That was beautiful Josh."
The other guys got up and walked over and put there hands on JC's shoulders and nodded in agreement. JC finally opened his eyes and looked up at his friends. A smile came to his face and he got up.
"Thanks." He said as he walked towards the stairway. "I'm kinda tired. I'll talk to you in the morning."
He walked up the stairs and headed towards his room. As he made his way along the hallway, he heard a creak of a door ahead of him and saw the door that lead up to the attic swing open. He walked over to it and looked up into the dark stairway. At the top, he saw a faint glow a light. He took a step in and started to walk up the stairs. Behind him he heard the same creak as the door closed behind him.
He didn't know why, but he continued up the stair unafraid. He reached the top of the stairs and looked over at the source of the light. It was another one of those phantom candles sitting next to an open trunk. JC walked over and kneeled down to look inside of it. There was some small boxes, a few small painting and books. On top of everything was a leather bound book with the initials JM carved decoratively on the front. JC carefully picked it up and sat down on the floor with it in his lap. He slowly traced the lettering with his fingers, trying to will himself to open the book. He took a deep breath and carefully opened it.
Inside on the first page was the name Jeremy Meyers. He slowly turn the page to reveal a few baby pictures, browned with age. As he turned the pages, he saw the pictures of Jeremy age from a baby to a young teen to the point at which he recognized from the first time he ever saw Jeremy's ghostly face. On one page, there was a picture of Jeremy sitting on a rock at the edge of the lake and sitting next to him was Josh. It was like looking at a picture of his childhood that he never remembered. But JC knew it wasn't him in the picture. He turned to the next pages and there were more pictures of the two boys. Finally, he came to a page that was blank. He flipped through the remainder of the pages and saw that they were blank too. As he started to close the book, the pages fell forward and inbetween the pages and the back cover was a old newspaper clipping, faded yellow with time.
He picked it up and carefully opened it. There was a picture of a man and a woman holding a child in her arms. JC eye's grew wide as he looked at the man in the picture. It was if he was looking at himself. The only difference between the man and JC, was the man had a handle bar mustache. Below the picture was a small article.
On the day of September 15, 1900, an accident claimed the lives of Mr and Mrs Joshua Charter and their only child, son Jeremy. Mr and Mrs Charter were traveling abroad, when the boat that they were on sank in the Atlantic ocean. The bodies of the Charters were never recovered.
JC carefully folded the aged clipping back up and placed it back into the book. He then placed the book back into the trunk and stood up. He didn't know how to feel. He couldn't decide if there was a meaning behind all of what he had seen in the past two days and all that he now knew. Without thinking, he turned and walked down the stairs. He could faintly hear the guys still downstairs as he closed the attic door and continued his walk to his room. As he shut the door, the quietness of the bedroom brought comfort to his mixed up mind. He went over to the bed and laid down with his arms crossed above his head. He sighed as he closed his eyes for a second, hoping that the image of Jeremy would emerge from the darkness. He felt a wisp of cold air in his ear, like he had the first night in the room. His eyes opened and there was Jeremy's smiling face inches away from his own.
"Thank you Josh. The music was so beautiful. I love the way you play the piano. I have loved it since the day you touched the piano keys for the first time and I will love it until the day my life is through."
JC felt the coldness of Jeremy's lips come in contact with his cheek. The kiss was ice cold, yet it sent a warming sensation through his whole body. He felt Jeremy's hand caresses his inner thigh as his body went totally limp. Jeremy's lips lingered on his cheek and then started to travel until they came in contact with his lips.
"I've missed you so Josh." Jeremy whispered as his lips closed on JC's bottom lip. He opened his lips and closed them again on JC's lip and then the tip of his tongue came out and ran along JC's bottom lip. JC moaned and then let out a deep breath that he had been holding in just as he opened his eyes. He could see his breath just as if it was a cold evening going through the vanishing image of Jeremy. He closed his eyes again as his hands came up to his face and rubbed up and down.
There was a light knock at his door and Lance stuck his head in the door.
"Josh, can I come in?"
JC sat up fast and threw the blanket over his very hard and very evident cock. Lance entered the room and closed the door behind him. JC tried not to look into Lance's eyes as he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"What's wrong Josh...you look flush?"
"Um...It's nothing Lance...What's up?"
"I just wanted to tell you that what you did tonight on the piano... that was... man that was pure magic."
"It was nothing... Just what came to me... What I was feeling."
"Whatever you were feeling, I hope that some day I will get that same feeling. It looked like you were in heaven and relaying what you saw there through music."
"You've always had a way with words Lance. Thank you."
"I just wanted to tell you that." Lance patted JC's leg and started to get up.
"Lance?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did." Lance smile and then looked down at his lap. "Sorry, that was bad. I've been hanging around in chat rooms too long. Please, go ahead."
"You mentioned heaven just a second ago. Do you believe in heaven? I mean is that where you believe you go after you die?"
"Sure...I mean, that's what I've been taught to believe. Isn't that what you believe?"
"I thought that's what happens...but, I just don't know now."
"Why do you ask Josh?"
"I don't know...It's just...Well, do you think that it's possible that a person's soul can stay on earth...say if the person had unfinished business."
"I don't know. I guess. Are you talking about like a ghost?"
"Yeah. Do you believe in ghosts?"
"I don't know. I guess I do. I mean, I won't really know until I see one. Have you seen one Josh?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know... Either you think you saw one or you didn't."
"No. I didn't see one."
"Then what brought on these questions."
"I don't know... I've just been thinking."
"About?"
"I don't know. I guess I'm just a little too tired and letting my imagination get to me."
"Then get some sleep Josh. We have a long tour ahead of us and this is the last night we have to get some real sleep."
"Can I ask you one more question?"
"Any time Josh."
"What do you think forever means?"
"Forever?"
"Yeah. Like the statement, I love you forever. Do you think it means up until the day you die or does it go beyond that?"
"I don't know if I can answer that. I mean, I don't know. It's just a saying to show how much you love someone. I don't think it means anything more that just how you feel for someone. You can only love someone so much and the limit is forever... If that make any sense at all."
"It make more sense than you know. Thank you Lance. I value what you say more than anyone else. You may be younger than me, but you are wiser than I."
Lance smiled at him and patted his leg again.
"Go to bed Josh. I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Thanks."
Lance got up walked out of the room. As he closed the door, he leaned up against it, with his forehead resting on the door. He closed his eyes and sighed. He took a deep breath and turned and walked back to his room with his head down and a single tear falling down his cheek.
JC lay in bed mulling over all that he and Lance had just talked about. He closed his eyes and all that happened to him in the last two days flashed through his mind. As the thought of Jeremy kissing him faded from his mind, he felt the bed move as if someone sat down on it. He opened his eyes and there was Jeremy crawling onto the bed.
JC opened his arms and Jeremy laid down next to him. The coldness that JC felt as his body came in contact with Jeremy's melted away into a warmness that made JC's breathing speed up. Jeremy snuggled up against him as JC wrapped his arms around him. He felt Jeremy's weight, his skin, his body and everything to him felt right... felt perfect. Their eyes met and as they gazed into each other's eyes, their foreheads met. JC's eyes closed and sleep overtook him. That night, he slept deeper and more sound than he had ever slept in his life. And his face had never had a bigger smile on it than it did that night.
He awoke the next morning with a deep breath and that same smile plastered on his face. He was alone in the bed and for a second he thought that what happened last night was a dream, but then he realized that it really didn't matter to him whether it was a dream or not. All that mattered to him was that it had happened, regardless if it was real or in his dreams. He jumped out of bed and started to prepare for the day. He showered, got dressed and packed up his stuff. He went downstairs and waited for the guys. While he waited, he carried his luggage out to the front porch and gazed out to the surroundings before him.
"It's beautiful out here huh?" Joey's voice came from behind him.
"Yeah...it is." JC said back as Joey stepped out onto the porch with his bags.
He walked over and sat down next to JC, putting his arm over JC's shoulder and smiled at him.
"Makes you wish for the time when this is all over and we can live like this."
JC smiled back and nodded as Chris and Lance walked out with their bags.
They exchanged greeting as Lance and Chris put their bags next to the others and Lance leaned up against the railing and Chris sat down on one of his suit cases. The heard the bus coming down the road as Justin stepped out onto the porch with his bags. The guys got up and started gathering their things as the bus pulled up and the door opened.
"Well, back to reality." Chris said as he grabbed his bags and walked to the bus. One by one they all loaded their stuff onto the bus. JC was the last, and as he was about to step onto the bus, he turned towards the house. In the window next to the piano was the image of Jeremy. JC's heart fell as the sunlight hit a tear on Jeremy's cheek and it sparkled brightly.
"I love you forever Jeremy." He whispered.
He wiped his eyes with his shoulder and turned and stepped onto the bus. He dropped his bags next to the others and went to his bunk. He crawled in and closed the curtain. The bus started up and began to move away as he looked out the window in his bunk. Jeremy was still standing in the window and as the bus turned out of the driveway, JC could see Jeremy wiping the tears out of his eyes as he disappeared. The house disappeared from his view and JC laid back on his bunk. He put on his headphones and switched on the radio. It wasn't until they had reached the stadium and Justin had popped his head into the bunk to get him, that he realized that he was listening to nothing but static.
They went through their normal pre-show routine without missing a beat. The day was flying by as the guys stepped right back into their professional personas. Show time arrived and all was going as every show had gone before. All their voices sounded great. The rest had done them wonders. The other guys kept looking at JC, wondering how he was able to step back into their routine after what they had saw of him the last few days.
At one point of the show, Justin stepped forward to start the next song. Out of the corner of his eye, JC saw a flash of light. He turned towards it and far out at the back of the stadium, he could see a glow of light. It was a person surrounded by an aura like light all around him. JC squinted and he could make out what looked like Jeremy. He turned towards the other guys and they were standing on their marks, looking like they had not noticed it. JC eyes flashed back to the where he thought he had seen Jeremy and there he was, still standing there as Justin started singing.
When the visions around you bring tears to your eyes.
A flash of white light hit JC and the image of Jeremy standing in the cave stroking the words on the cave wall filled his vision.
And all that surrounds you are secrets and lies.
I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope.
Keeping your faith when it's gone.
The one you should call.
I'm standing here all alone.
The vision disappeared from JC eyes as they made contact with Jeremy's eyes as he stood in the back.
And I will take you in my arm
and hold you right where you belong.
Till the day my life if through,
this I promise you, this I promise you.
JC stepped forward, and with his body on automatic and his eyes locked onto Jeremy's eyes he began to sing. Every word going out to Jeremy from his heart.
I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before
And I promise you never will you hurt anymore.
I give you my word, I give you my heart.
This is a battle we've won.
And with this vow, forever has now begun.
JC watched as Jeremy began to float closer to him until he was hovering right infront of JC.
Just close your eyes each lovin' day
And know this feeling won't go away.
JC held out his hand toward Jeremy's face.
Til the day my life is through,
This I promise you. This I promise you.
JC's hand went out and was stroking Jeremy's cheek with the back of his fingers, staring straight into his eyes.
Over and over I fall, when I hear you call.
Without you in my life baby.
I just wouldn't be living at all.
JC fell to his knees infront of Jeremy and looked up at him, holding his arms outstretched towards him and tears flowing out of his eyes.
(and I will take)
I will take you in my arms...
(and hold you right where you belong)
Right where you belong.
Till the day my life is through this I promise you babe.
As JC sang, the guys sang their part of the song, but knew there was something different in JC's voice. They felt the emotion he was pouring into the word and were looking back and forth between each other.
(just close your eyes each loving day)
Each loving day
(and know this feeling won't go away)
Every word I say is true.
This I promise you."
As JC sang his last lines to the song, Jeremy came forward and took JC in his arms. JC's arms wrapped around him and Jeremy disappeared into JC's body until JC was sitting on stage with his arms wrapped around himself.
Every word I say is true,
This I promise you.
Oooo I promise you
As Justin finished, JC collapsed onto the stage. The lights dimmed as the crowds gasped and went silent. Lance, Joey and Chris went running to JC's side and Justin stood there not knowing what had happened.
A beep sound came to his ears as he struggled to open his eyes. Over and over, all he could hear was the beep.
"I think he's coming to."
He heard to his left.
"Lance?" He whispered in a hoarse voice.
He struggled and finally opened his eyes. The glare of the lights blinded him as he raised his arms to shield his eyes from the light.
"Yeah...it's Lance. How ya feeling?"
"Like shit. What happened?" He said as he finally opened his eyes full to see the room he was in was a hospital room and inside it was all the guys.
"You passed out at the concert last night." Justin said as he stepped forward.
"You had us worried there bro." Joey said from a chair at the end of the bed.
"The doctor said it was due to exhaustion." Lance said as he pick up JC's hand and held it.
"This coming from a person that was suppose to be resting for a few days before that."
"Shut up Chris." Justin said, hitting him in the back of the head.
The door opened and a doctor walked in.
"Ah, I see that you are awake. You're friends here have been worried about you, they've been here all night. Not that they had anything to worry about. You're fine. I think this night sleep is all that you needed. But I do want you to take the next week off. Doctor's orders."
JC smiled at the doctor.
"A nurse will be over to unhook you from all this and then you are free to go."
The doctor turned and walked out of the room.
"The next three shows have been canceled and we get to go home for a week. Thanks to you and your little stage dive, we get a week off."
"Nice to know you care so much Joey. But glad I could help ya."
They all laughed.
"Well, since you are all better we are going to head out to the bus to freshen up. We'll see ya in a bit."
"Ok Justin."
"Josh, Johnny will be here in a few minutes to talk to you. He promised to be nice."
"Don't worry Lance. I can handle Johnny."
The guys filed out of the room and the nurse walked in. After she finished unhooking him from all the equipment, she went to a cabinet and took out his clothes and handed them to him.
"Excuse me, do you have a pen and a sheet of paper." He asked the nurse.
She nodded and walked out, then returned a few seconds later with a pen and a tablet of paper. She left and JC got dressed and sat down and started writing.
Johnny Wright, their manager stepped into the room.
"Hey stud, how ya feeling?"
"From what the doctors say, I'm feeling fine."
"But how are you feeling?"
"I'm OK Johnny. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"I suppose they told you that you get the next week off right?"
"Yeah. I know how much you're hating that."
"Don't you even worry. I'm just happy that you're OK. Don't you ever do anything like that again."
"That I can promise you."
"Good. Now, is there anything I can do for you."
"Yeah. It's a favor. Please, don't tell any of the guys. Promise me."
"Sure Josh. Anything for you."
JC handed his manager the paper and Johnny read it.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Yes. Please make sure that it's done as soon as possible."
"Ok, I'll get on it as soon as your ass is on that bus heading to the airport."
"Thanks Johnny."
June 4, 2071
On Friday, local authorities in Brighton County, identified the body of Joshua "JC" Chasez in his home on Pine Hill. The coroner has determined that Mr Chasez had died in his sleep. He was 94.
Back in the late 1990's through 2008, Mr Chasez was a member of the popular singing group called NSYNC. The group had many number one hits and won numerous awards. After the group disbanded, Mr Chasez settled in his home on Pine Hill which he purchased in July of 2001.
Once he had settled into his home Mr Chasez became a recluse and the subject of many rumors. Locals have stated that Mr Chasez never stepped foot off his Pine Hill estate. Many have recalled that when supplies were brought to the estate, the delivery boys from the local grocery stores on many occasions, had heard him talking to someone. When asked Mr Chasez always replied that he lived alone. It was referred to as the "Looney Bin" by the delivery boys. But they all have stated that Mr Chasez was a great guy with the most sparkling blue eyes, the biggest smile and a very healthy tipper. He always insisted that they stay and listen to him play the most beautiful music on the piano. There have been stories that since his death, piano music can still be heard coming from the house in the middle of the night.
He is survived by two grand nieces and a grand nephew. To which he has willed the property and all his estate with the provision that no one is ever to stay in the house. The house is to be held in trust until the day it is reclaimed by nature.
Mr Chasez will be cremated and his ashes will be scattered inside a cave on his Pine Hill estate. The cave will then be sealed and an inscription shall be made on the sealing stone that reads:
Joshua Scott Chasez
8-8-1976 to 6-2-2071
~Forever has now begun...