Ozzy here, remember to support nifty and donate your hard earned dollars to hard working and well-deserving folks.
Here is an unreleased practice project of mine that predates my Open Hearts story. It's unfinished and definitely feels rushed, but I felt like digging it up from the grave and seeing if you guys like the concept. Let me know what you think through email. Openhearts1999@gmail.com
"Love is Blind."
Chapter 1:
August 21st, 2017
There's this boy in my history class. His name is Nico, or perhaps it's Niko. I've only heard his name spoken, I haven't seen it spelled. It probably stands for Nicolas, or something similar to that. Regardless, I like him. I like his name, face, and voice -- man, his voice is just lovely. He sits in the back of the class unfortunately, so I only see him occasionally throughout our lessons. We're both freshmen in high school, and I never saw him at my middle school, so I've only known him for about a week.
Nico is kind of... special, I guess you could say. I never noticed it until my third day of class. He has this girl, her name is Melanie, and from what I can tell, she never leaves his side. I thought that they might be dating, but it turns out, it's an entirely different relationship. Nico is dependent on her, that is why he holds her arm while walking to class. It is also the reason she reads to him, organizes his papers, and helps him with everything imaginable in the classroom. Melanie is his best friend, but she is also his guide in school. Nico can't see, and it took me a few days to realize this.
I don't know why it took me so long to figure out he was blind. He wears sunglasses indoors, never reads without Melanie's help, and the teacher pays special attention to him. But after I figured out this incredible mystery, I realized my feelings didn't change. My crush didn't falter, despite his disability. In fact, I grew increasingly jealous of Melanie. I wanted to be the one helping him, reading to him, and holding his arm as I led him from class to class. I wanted that wonderful voice to say my name for once, and not hers.
My name is Christopher by the way. I like my friends to call me Chris, but Nico can call me Christopher. Hell, he can call me whatever he wants to. He has this thick, curly brown hair; opposed to my short blond hair. He is slim like me, but shorter by an inch or two. Unlike me, he has a pair of beautiful dimples that compliment his shining smile. It was undeniable, I was falling for this boy so hard, I might not survive the landing.
Last time I had a crush like this, I was in 7th grade. His name was Michael; he was tall, dark, and handsome. Unfortunately, he was straight as an arrow and would "beat up any fags" that tried to hit on him. I wasted an entire school year trying to become his friend, only to learn the bitter but not surprising truth in the end.
I was going to make the same mistake twice. I'll be up front with Nico, if he is straight, at least he won't try to beat me up. Now I must figure how to do it. Melanie is attached to his hip; how can I separate them?
What am I saying? He'll never be separated from her; she is his guide around the school. Okay, plan B - If I can't separate them, then I'll just recruit Melanie to my side.
August 22nd, 2017
"He's just so cute though!" I exclaimed to my mother as I stuffed another bite of pancakes into my mouth.
My mother looked over and rolled her eyes with a slight smirk to boot.
"I bet he is son, but don't go scaring the boy away. And be careful not to out yourself too early, if the word gets around, well, you know what might happen."
My mom was right. We were both worried about my `secret' getting out. High school is a rough place, and I didn't have enough friends just yet to feel comfortable being the "gay" one. I have some friends, like Justin and Jose. But, only Justin knows I'm gay. I needed a stronger foundation before I just jumped out of the closet and declared my sexuality to the whole school. Maybe, just maybe, that foundation can start with a boyfriend.
Despite her caution, my mother was whole-heartedly a supporter of mine. She supported me from day one, meaning three years ago when I first broke the news.
I was only twelve, a scrawny runt of a 6th grader who was afraid of his own shadow. When I told her that I liked boys, she gave me the only bit of confidence I ever had. She told me "Well son, I didn't see this coming, but one thing is for sure, you're going to break a lot of hearts".
I giggled through my tears and hugged her. It was a simple and corny thing to say, but it helped; it helped a lot.
My dad wasn't around much, he left when I was three. He wasn't a very good dad, and I can't say I miss him much. Sometimes, I just miss having a dad; not necessarily the one I lost, just a dad in general. But my mom, she was enough of a mom to make up for that. She was the one who played catch with me, taught me about sex, and taught me how to be a man. For that, I will always be grateful. Oh, and she did give me life too, which is also pretty cool.
She sent me off to school like she normally does; a kiss on the cheek, money for lunch, and a small piece of advice. Every day, she gives some advice, like a fortune cookie. Sometimes it was small and stupid, like "Don't forget to zip up after you pee" or "don't take candy from strange men". But today, she offered some more wholesome advice that was relevant to my situation.
"Think with your head, but speak with your heart." She uttered before sending me off.
Those words stuck with me for a while; I contemplated them the entire bus ride to school.
Looking out the window, I observed all the little charms that made our home town so attractive. It was a quaint little town in suburban Washington state. It was a like rainy little cove for families to move to if the city life wasn't their cup of tea. Small, historic, peaceful, it's a paradise for people like me.
My idea of a perfect day? Gray, rainy skies, warm beverages, and a fire roaring in a cool house. The only addition to possibly make that day better, a boy. Preferably a boy by the name of Nico as well.
I was nervous when the bus finally reached the school. I had spent all night thinking of my master plan. First, I would pass a note to Melanie, asking if Nico was possibly interested in guys. Second, well... there is no second. Unfortunately, that was all I had. It was a dumb plan and it would probably backfire, but I didn't want to waste my school year just admiring him from afar. This plan is all I've got, it must work.
After the bell rang to start history class, I glanced over to make sure he was here today. There he was, sitting in his desk, whispering jokes to Melanie and making her giggle. God, I wish I could hear those jokes too. I readied myself, because once class ended, I would give her the note.
My heart was beating frantically as time ticked on. If only Nico knew how I felt right now, he would have to say yes. I felt almost short of breath at the very thought of him acknowledging me like that. Just give me a chance Nico, please.
The bell rang and sent shivers down my spine. My ears were hot, my breathing was short and sporadic, and it felt like a damn hammer replaced my heart and was pounding my ribcage from the inside out.
I stood up, cautiously walked over to Nico and Melanie, and presented myself before him.
Nico didn't give any notion that he knew I was there. I looked at Melanie, who was observing me from head to toe. I smiled slightly, blushed heavily, and held out a small scrap of paper towards the short brunette girl. She returned the smile but with a curious, almost suspicious, expression on her face. She took the crumbled up note from my trembling fingers and opened it. I glanced over at Nico, who was looking in the direction of Melanie with a curious look as well. He could tell that something was holding her up and wanted to know what.
I wanted to ask him right then and there, but I was too scared. He looked so cute dressed in his band t-shirt and skinny jeans. I wanted to reach out and touch his full lips, but resisted with all my might.
Melanie was studying the paper carefully -- she had a huge grin on her face. I didn't know if I should be hopeful or humiliated. My heart continued to beat out of my chest and I could feel my palms getting sweaty as well. Suddenly, I turned away from the pair and left the classroom in a hurry. I couldn't bear to stand there in anticipation any longer. If it's a yes, then I'll know tomorrow. If it's a no, then at least I won't have to be embarrassed in front of Nico at the same time.
I rushed to my next class and immediately buried my face into my book.
"I'm such an idiot." I muttered under my breath.
I felt like a complete dunce. I didn't have the courage to wait for her to ask, let alone ask him myself. He'll never go out with me.
August 23rd, 2017
Last night sucked. I walked around my house like a zombie. My mom even sat me down and had to have a talk with me about how "everything will work out in the end". I wanted to believe her, but I had my doubts.
This morning, after a large mug of coffee, I dragged myself to the bus stop and plopped in my seat. Justin, the one friend I had who knew I was gay, inquired about my obvious solemn attitude.
"You know that guy named Nico in our history class?"
"You mean the blind kid? Yeah, what about him?" Justin responded with some curiosity.
"I like him. I like him a lot. And I told him, sort of." I uttered in a hushed tone.
Justin looked a bit perplexed after I told him. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he hesitated. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, he responded.
"Well, that's cool. What did he say?"
"I left before he could say anything. I guess I'll know today." I said dejectedly.
"Cut that shit out. I'm sure he'll say yes. I mean yeah he might be straight, but we can shave your pits and practice your girl voice; he'll never know the difference." Justin chided as he shoved me slightly.
No one can doubt Justin's dedication to our friendship. He was a huge dork, but he'd do anything to make you laugh on even the worst of days. That right there, is a quality that is highly underrated.
We approached the school, and once again, my nervous levels spiked. Justin put his hand on my back and urged me forward. I walked to my history class with anticipation, and fear.
There he was again. Dressed in another band t-shirt and a different pair of jeans. He was smiling, probably at something Melanie said. But as much as I wanted to stare at him and all his beauty, I was more interested in Melanie today. I needed to know the answer, it was the only thing that could calm my nerves. Our gazes met, and then she whispered something to Nico. My heart stopped for a moment, I knew it was about me. She then stood up and made her way to my desk.
I was nervous, she was smiling, I felt like crying, overall it was quite a weird experience. But all my nerves were halted when she bent over and whispered to me.
"Nico would like it if you ate lunch with us today. Corner table as soon as you walk in." She said softly and then left.
I was shocked. If the answer was no, then why would he invite me to sit with them? Or maybe, he just wants to break the news in person. Either way, I've got a shot. Nicolas Castellanos, I will make you mine.
***** End of Chapter 1 *****
Whatcha think? Let me know by emailing me at openhearts1999@gmail.com
Ozzy Out.