The first time we meet is very formal...just a handshake and a few words of welcome and introduction, no different from any other new employee. You are with your new supervisor being led around to different teams and offices to become acquainted with the people you will be working with or at least near. We talk about what you'll be doing and I describe my team and what we do. You have a certain tentative quality about you that I find disarming. You have a certain casual humility about you, not self effacing but more unassuming. It becomes clear quickly that you are knowledgeable about your job and will be a strong asset to your team which doesn't surprise me considering that your boss is known for hiring highly competent people. We say goodbye and I go back to my work.
A few days later, I see you on the way to the cafeteria. "Hey Patrick, how's it going?" "So far so good. Mostly just getting things set up." "Well, if there's anything you need or have questions about, let me know." I say helpfully. "Actually, I noticed that there was a weight room nearby. Can anyone use that or is it just for federal employees?" "It's available to contractors and feds alike. I go there pretty regularly myself. If you're looking for a workout partner, let me know. I try to get in there at least once a day." "That'd be great. I could use some extra motivation to get myself back in shape. I haven't had a lot of time for it lately." I find myself very elated to have a workout partner again, and as we have lunch together, I learn more about you. We talk mostly about our jobs and career paths, and I give you some suggestions for your own project. Again I sense the casual humility that I noticed before. It's not shyness exactly...I can't really put my finger on it, but I find it very charming.
In the coming weeks, we become regular workout buddies. You have a bit of a tough time getting yourself started, but after a couple of weeks, you settle into a routine similar to mine. You have many sore days from lifting, but it doesn't take long for your body to adjust, and results begin to show. I am as non-chalant as I can be in the locker room, but the beauty of your body does not escape my notice. I do, however, keep my cards close to my chest to avoid making you uncomfortable. Happily, you seem to enjoy my company outside of the gym, so it isn't long before we start having lunch together fairly often as well. I continue to keep it somewhat low key how attracted I am to you. While I took an almost immediate liking to you when we met, I didn't really feel a genuine interest in you until we became workout partners. Over time, I come to believe that the attraction is mutual, but also that you are either not sure what's going on, or very very shy. (or possibly both). One Friday afternoon following a particularly intense workout, I casually suggest hitting happy hour at a local place we'd both mentioned. You agree pretty easily, and while I try not to show it, I'm secretly elated.
We go to the place, and finding no space at the bar, find a booth toward the back that has just been vacated. We talk casually of work, for a bit, but quickly start talking about where we're from. I listen attentively to you describing your home town, college experiences, and how you came to live in (or rather near) the city. "Do you know anyone in the city outside of work?" I ask conversationally. "Not really. I've been mostly focused on work and getting my apartment in order. I was kind of lucky to find a place I could afford without a roommate. You're really only person I hang out with, and really, I don't know you all that well either." I hide a bit of a smile and say "What would you like to know?" You blush again which I find absolutely charming and I save you by saying "Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot." "No, you didn't, it's just I don't know what to ask." I smile. "It's OK. Truth is, you're the only person I've really been social with in a while." "Really? I'm flattered." I'm guessing you try not to blush but you don't succeed. "Well, aside from motivating me to work out, you're just a really great guy. Sorry if that embarrasses you." You blush some more. "I guess I'm not so good at taking compliments like that." "I hope the fact I'm gay doesn't make you uncomfortable." I decide that it's pointless to beat around the bush, so I just say it right out. "Well, I didn't really know you were, but no, it doesn't make me uncomfortable.
I feel a certain level of satisfaction at getting the cat "out of the bag" so to speak "I don't bring it up a lot at work. Old habit I guess. I spent a fair portion of my life hiding it from others." I say easily. "Yeah I'll bet it was really rough." I sense a certain knowing sympathy in what you say. "It wasn't until college I even tried to understand what it meant for me, and even then, it was tough." "I'm sorry to hear that." I shrug. "It's ancient history now, and hardly uncommon. It's hard for a lot of men to admit that they might be attracted to another man, although it's a lot more common then most are willing to admit." I say this last line as a sort of gentle hint to you, but gentle enough to only be relevant if you pick up on it. "I can definitely see that" you say agreeably, and giving me some more rope. "I personally think it's healthy for men to acknowledge that sort of thing, but then I might be a bit biased." Again, I try to keep things relatively theoretical so as not to scare you away. "I guess I'm somewhat healthy then." There it is. I resist the urge to raise my eyebrows. "How do you mean?" "I've thought about it from time to time." I smile a bit. "Well, as I say, a lot of straight men have thought about it from time to time. It usually scares them though." "It doesn't exactly scare me, but it's hard to be scared of something you don't know much about." "How do you mean?" "Well, growing up in the south, I didn't really know any gay guys. Homosexuality wasn't exactly encouraged." I laugh a bit. "I know very well what you mean. When I was growing up, it was highly discouraged." An awkward silence follows, and is broken by the arrival of food.
Some time later, over another beer, you ask somewhat timidly "Can I ask you a question?" "Of course." "How did you actually know you were gay?" Again I try to keep from getting too excited at this question. "It's not that necessarily knew I was gay so much as knowing I was attracted to men. I guess I didn't really start to realize it until junior high school in the locker room. The first guy I ever noticed, Fred (seriously, his name really was Fred), was also the first guy near my age I'd ever seen naked. I found myself having to look away on purpose on more than one occasion. That was the first time I remember noticing a man sexually, and it pretty much snowballed from there, no pun intended." You give me a somewhat blank look at the last comment which I sort of chuckle at, and say "never mind." "Did you date women at all?" "A little bit in high school, but it never really did anything for me." You nod a little. "Was it hard to admit to yourself?" "Well, I sort of always knew, but didn't do much about it until college. The issue for me wasn't about admitting that I liked men, but finding someone I could really connect with, not just physically but emotionally as well. Most of the guys I dated in college were either very closeted or just very superficial. But to answer your question, it actually was very liberating for me to admit that I liked men." You nod and there is an awkward silence. I think about saying something but I decide that it's not the place.
"So what have you got planned for the rest of the night?" I ask casually. "Nothing really. Figured I'd go home and read a little." "I don't have anything planned either. Do you feel like hanging out some more?" Even before you say yes, I see your eyes light up in a way that touches me. "Yes, I'd love to." "Well, my place is close by if you don't feel like having to shout over bar noise." Again, I see your eyes light up a little more. "Sure, I'd love to see your place." We walk up the street on what turns out to be a truly beautiful evening. If I wasn't attracted to you before this, I definitely am now. Aside from your physical beauty, your disarming humility is an even more alluring quality for me. I see in you someone who is trying to find himself but perhaps needs a bit of help along the way. That gives me a certain sense of obligation, largely because I know I had no one to help me along.
We enter my condo, and I give you the quick tour before offering you a drink. I put on some Dave Brubeck and sit down near you, but not too close to make you uncomfortable. Nothing is said for a while, so I try to make some small talk, but to no avail. I almost feel as if you are waiting for something to happen, but can't be sure if that's just wishful thinking. I make an excuse to sit next to you by showing you some pictures from my trip to Ireland that we'd discussed recently. Flipping through pictures, our fingers touch for just a moment, but I feel the charge between us. Eventually we reach the end of the album and I put it away, but am still sitting next to you. I look over at you and smile, and see you smile back. I make a decision and lean over to kiss you. I note that you do not retreat, and allow my lips to touch you. The kiss is light and tender, yet I feel your reaction as a rush of warmth through my body. I secretly thank the heavens that you did not retreat suddenly from this kiss.
For a long period of time we do nothing but kiss, barely even touching each other. I'm quite mindful that this is the first time for you to have kissed a man, but judging from your reactions, I am further guessing that it is something you have needed for a very long time. Eventually my tongue ventures through my lips to touch yours. I half expect to find your lips tight against my tongue, but they part easily and soon we are involved in a true lovers kiss. We continue like this for some time, my own excitement building until at one point, I part lips with you and say "Open your eyes." Your eyelids fly up and I look deep into your gorgeous eyes and say "Are you OK?" "I think so." you say breathlessly. "I can feel your heart racing" I say with a certain commanding conviction. "It really is." "Have you ever felt like this before?" I say with a tone that suggests I already know the answer. "No, never." "Do you want to keep going?" I say partly out of a desire to give you a chance to put the brakes on, but also having a pretty good idea of what answer I will get. "Yes, please." you say in a small voice.
I take you again in my arms, kissing you less tentatively but still allowing the moment to build. I feel how each touch, each movement causes your body to heat up almost as if you were a flame that surged each a slight wind picked up. My hand travels to your chest, caressing you tenderly and gently. I feel no resistance from you. In fact, I suspect that you wish for me to move faster, but I do not because I want you to savor every moment you are experiencing. When our lips do part, I hold you tightly and whisper into your ear "Tell me how you feel." You say "good" in husky breaths. I touch your heart which is pounding hard, and say "Do you feel how hard your heart is beating?" You nod and say "Yes". I resume kissing you and place your hand on my own chest. Soon I begin unbuttoning my shirt to let you touch my flesh. I feel a rush of heat from your body and hand when I do this. I take your hand and move it across my chest, letting you feel the beating of my own heart and the heat of my flesh. I notice that your eyes are closed and I say "Open your eyes and look at me." You do so and I meet your eyes directly. I reach over and slowly unbutton your own shirt, but my eyes never leave yours. I don't actually take your shirt off, but merely open it so that I can pull you to me and feel your bare chest against mine. Your skin feels incredible against mine and I whisper into your ear "Do you want more?" "Yes" I hear you whisper back to me. I kiss you again, deeper than ever, cradling your head as I lean you down, my free hand moving down your belly to your belt. I look again in your eyes as my fingers gently undo your belt.
"Tell me you want this" I say with a slightly commanding tone. "Yes, I want this." you respond almost immediately. "Tell me what you want me to do." I say, my hand slowly fingering your fly. "I want you to touch me." I glide my finger gently down the front of your pants, but not too hard. You are breathing so hard I don't want you to burst too soon. "There?" I say. "Yes." you say almost pleadingly. I gently pull down the zipper of your pants and open them up. Your erection is already poking out from your boxers, but I leave it there for the moment. Instead I say "Look at yourself." You look down at the flesh bulging from your boxers. "Let me see more of it." I say. You immediately pull your pants down and for the first time I see you in your full aroused glory. You've clearly been hard for a while, and and I realize that you're probably dying for release. I look you in the eyes and say "You have such a beautiful cock." My eyes never leave yours. I reach over and take you in my hand, gently wrapping my fingers around your hot member. You make a passionate sound, almost like a sob, but I recognize the need in it. I slowly move my hand on you and keep my eyes on you. It takes almost no time at all for you to ejaculate. I'd hoped to avoid getting any on your clothes, but I didn't account for how much of a mess you would make. I feel the warmth of your semen cover my hand. Your eyes are wide as you cum and your voice rises to a powerful crescendo that I scarcely would have credited it with moments before. When the flow finally subsides, I lift my hand to my face and lick the rich liquid from it, looking you in the eye. "All of this came from you." You say nothing but your eyes never leave mine. I move close to you again and say "How did that feel?" "Incredible! I'm sorry I came so fast." "Don't worry about it. I wanted to make you cum. I'm glad you did." I smile at you and say "Do you want to try with me?" I see you smile and shyly say "Yes, I do".
I pull myself out of my pants and make sure you can see everything. I myself have been hard for some time, but I nonetheless say "Look at how hard I am. You make me hard like this." I take your hand and guide it to my cock. "Feel how hard I am." I hear you whisper "Yes". "Have you ever touched a hard cock other than your own?" "No." "Do you want to try to make me cum?" "Yes" "Yes what?" I say, again showing some dominance. "Yes I want to make you cum." I feel your hand tighten around me gently. You start to move your hand and I feel myself responding much the same way you did though perhaps not as suddenly. I don't try to hold back my orgasm because I know that it is important for you to see me orgasm. Thus I allow myself to surrender to your touch and to the immense desire I have for you. I feel my voice begin to groan deeply. I feel your fingers tighten slightly around me, but I feel grateful that you know not to grasp me too hard. I feel my blood thrum in my ears as I let forth with a throaty moan preceded by a strong gout of my own. I feel the warmth of it flow out of my hot cock, your hand continuing to pump and milk me. I feel its warmth on my belly as I slowly regain my composure. When I recover myself, my eyes find yours again. I smile at you and say "You are a natural!" You smile somewhat bashfully but I see color fill your cheeks. I lean forward and kiss you deeply. I feel you still trembling in my arms and slowly stroke your face, seeking to help you relax. Eventually you do. I say to you "I think we're going to have to do some laundry tonight." "What do you mean?" "Look down". You look down and see that both of our slacks have the evidence of our lovemaking on them. "Sorry." you say somewhat nervously. I laugh. "It happens all the time. Besides, I want you to stay." "You do?" "Of course. Do you want to stay?" Your eyes widen quickly as you say "Yes."
(to be continued)