Hey guys, I'm back at long last with the next installment of "Love on the Links." Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter, but I've had to move back into school and get everything up and running in my real life. Also, if any of you were wondering where my site has gone, you can direct that question to the fine folks at Angelfire who recently decided to shut down my site. Oh well, I won't be down for long, hopefully, so just bear with me, and by the time chapter 5 comes out, I should have a new site!!
As usual, here's the disclaimer that saves me from the lawyers: This story is competely fiction, as in, none of it's true. This story is about 2 boys finding each other and making LOVE, therefore, If the laws where you live say you can't read this, don't read it. Well, if you do read it, don't get caught. That being said, enjoy :) ncduffer@hotmail.com
***************************************************************** Mom took me out shopping the next day, I think she just wanted to get my brother and me out of the house so my dad could sleep off a hangover! It was fine with me, though, because I needed some new stuff for school anyway. We went to the usual places, Abercrombie, Gap, Structure, and the whole time I was there, I kept picking out clothes that I thought would look good on Jack!! I finally decided on a few new shirts and some cargo shorts, and we headed to the food court for some lunch. I went to Sbarro for some cheese pizza, and guess who I ran into? None other than Stacey. As soon as she saw me, she wanted to turn around and high tail it in the other direction. I yelled out to her, though, and she knew she was caught. I guess she either remembered what she said last night, or Suzanne had filled her in on all the gory details.
"So," she started, "This sure is awkward." She managed a faint smile.
"Not really, Stacey," I said. "I don't hold you to anything you said last night. We've been friends forever it seems, I'm not about to let any drunken misadventures come between us."
This didn't really have quite the desired effect on her, and the corners of her eyes drooped. She was trying to hide it, but I knew she was really disappointed that I didn't take her seriously about being in love with me. Nothing could have been farther from the truth for me. I was scared to death that she was serious, because I didn't want to have to explain to her why I couldn't go out with her. There was no way out of this without hurting her feelings, that much was clear.
"Stacey, I.." She cut me off.
"Look, Will, I'm sorry that I ever said anything, could we just forget about the whole thing?" Stacey offered.
"Nothing would make me happier than to go back being friends like always," I said.
Well, I'd managed to say the word that no hopeful potential dater wants to hear, "friends."
I'll give her credit though, Stacey managed to hold it all together, and escaped with her dignity still intact. God, if only Jack were here, I thought, he'd get a real kick out of this...
~BZZT BZZT BZZT BZZT~
I quickly slammed my hand down on the clock to keep the god-awful noise from penetrating my ears any longer. Uggh, the dreaded first day of school has arrived, and I was already counting down the days till next summer started. Oh well, I thought, at least I wasn't a freshman anymore. Then thoughts of Friday night came flooding back to my memory, and I just closed my eyes and smiled. I could still hear Jack's ragged breathing in my ear, the sweet words of passion floating up into the air like wisps of smoke. Something about him made me feel so alive; I was the center of his universe, and he was mine. I slid my hand down into the warm confines of my boxers and did my best to recreate the events in my mind. The manual stimulation I was receiving now paled in comparison to Jack's warm wet mouth. God this bed feels so cold and lonely without him in it. It didn't take me long to finish; it never does now that I have someone to focus on.
I flipped through my cd's, looking for the perfect song to start the year off with. Let's see, gotta be something good, here we go, some classic Aerosmith. Get a little "Sweet Emotions" action going here. I cranked it up, which was sure to piss off my parents, and jumped in the shower. I put the water on near scalding and just let the water pour over me. I sang along with the deafening rumble blasting out of my speakers, and got my head cleared and ready for the day at school. I quickly dried off, ran some gel through my hair, put on my new shirt and shorts, grabbed my bookbag (god, I hate school) and headed downstairs. Mom had this nice breakfast for me all made, and I just grabbed a bagel and some OJ. I think it pissed her off, but hey, I'm just not a morning person, especially if anyone other than Jack wakes me up. We piled into the Expedition, and headed off to school. We dropped my brother off at his school, he was going into 8th grade, and started for my school. When we got there, I saw all the people from last year, and a few new faces too. Boy, there was a cute crop of freshman coming up this year. I headed into school armed with only the name of my homeroom teacher. We were assigned homerooms by name, so there was no hope of seeing Jack in my class. Sure enough, I got the ghetto homeroom with all the delinquents in it. I shrugged my shoulders and hoped I saw Jack soon.
I picked up my schedule, let's see, Algebra 2 first period!?! Who the hell can stay awake during math anyway, but first thing in the morning? What genius designed this schedule anyway. I booked it on towards the math wing, collecting about a dozen "hey Will"s along the way. I have to admit, it sure felt nice to have so many friends. Then the thought hit me out of nowhere, "How many of these people would still be your friend if they knew everything about you?" I had never considered that before, I had no reason to. But now that I'd sort of explored this part of myself, it was just as integral to my personality as my smile or eye color. Sooner or later, I thought, they're gonna find out...
That thought nagged me during the next two periods. I wondered how obvious I was. I mean, I didn't prance, have a lisp, or wear dresses, so, in my limited opinion, I guess I didn't ACT what I thought was gay. But it was the subtle things I was worried about, like the way I would just sigh and stare at Jack, or if some hot guy took his shirt off in PE and I stared a little 'too long.' Those were the telltale signs, I thought, so now that I'm aware of them, I'll be able to avoid them. Boy, everything is so black and white when you're 15.
Finally lunch rolled around, and I went to my locker to grab my lunch. No way I was eating that Welfare Cheese and Applesauce the cafeteria doled out. Good old mom, coming through in the clutch. Suddenly, I felt a warm breath tickling the back of my neck. I jerked around quickly hoping it was who I thought it was. Sure enough, it was Jack.
"Had enough school for one day?" he asked.
"Yeah, let's just skip the last half and go play 9 holes," I joked.
"Man, I wish," he replied.
We headed off for the cafeteria, and sat with a big group of people who had been at the party Friday night. Everybody said hey to Jack and me, that made me so happy, he was just one of the guys now. I think he was really excited that everyone remembered him. Just don't get too attached, I thought, this boy's mine! Jack and I only had one class together, we discovered, it was PE last period. Jack was in all the smart classes, and I was stuck with the all retards in the normal classes. I think I could be in the smart classes if I tried harder, but that meant work, and I just didn't feel like interrupting my golf schedule with homework. No, I would do just fine with the rejects in typing class! But Jack, he was only a sophomore and taking like Calculus 1. I knew he was smart, but good Lord, I think I landed the next Einstein! He was always so cool about it though. He was modest to the core about stuff like that. He never made me or anyone else ever feel inferior or less intelligent. I always kidded him about being a dork with the pocket protector and all that stuff, but he just shrugged it off and said, "well, this dork's gonna make you a lot of money one day!" I loved it when he said stuff like that, it made me feel so special that he looked that far in advance, and despite all his superior qualities, still saw himself with me.
When last period finally rolled around, the coach was explaining to us the concept of second year PE. This was the year to develop muscles and improve coordination. "Bigger Faster Stronger" he called it. Bigger Waste of Time, I thought to myself. Oh well, at least I have this class with Jack. We played a light game of touch football that day. Jack and I joked around about what positions we were gonna play. I told him he definitely was a 'tight end,' and he just laughed and told me I was without a doubt cut out to be a 'wide receiver.' My sides were just about to split, I was laughing so hard. What is it about this boy that just makes me feel like I was walking on clouds? He had the power just to brighten up my whole day with just a smile.
I called Jack as soon as I got home from school. "Wanna go hit some range balls?" I asked. He said sure, and I headed up to the driving range to meet him.
When I got there, Haley was with him and she was hitting out of his bag.
"Sorry," he said when I walked up, "mother's orders."
"Hey, that's ok," I said, "I sorta feel like she's my little sister too, I see her so much."
"So Will," Jack said. "How's your BROTHER doing?" Haley shot him the meanest 'Go To Hell' look I think I've ever seen.
"Why do you ask?" I said.
"Well, it seems that 'your' little sis has it bad for 'my' little brother," Jack said, obviously enjoying tormenting his little sister.
Haley just started tearing up and yelled out "I'm telling Mom!" as she ran into the clubhouse.
We both just laughed and I said, "well, I know how much I enjoy MY Stewart kid, I think everybody ought to have one!"
We both laughed at that one and started hitting golf balls. I was really tense after one of the longest days of my life, and it felt good to be releasing all that stress. I just imagined the little white ball was my math teacher's bald little head as I crushed it way out onto the range.
"Good Lord, you look uptight," Jack said.
"Yeah, it's this whole school thing," I replied. "I miss summer already."
"Yeah, it was fun spending all day on the course or at the pool," Jack said, sorta to no one directly. Kinda like he was thinking out loud.
"And then there were the NIGHTS!" I said. Jack started really blushing and I had to fight the urge to just run over there and plant a big one on him. All he has to do is shoot one look at me, and I'm so completely under his spell. Soon it got dark and we headed home. I asked Jack if he wanted to come over later and he said he couldn't because he had homework to do. Homework already? On the first day of school!? Now I'm definitely glad I'm stuck in the regular classes. Jack walked me back to my house, and we sat down on the front steps.
"Jack," I started.
"Yeah, babe," he replied.
"Why do you love me? I mean, you are so smart, and so good looking, and so nice. You could have anyone that you want. Why me?" I asked.
"Will, I DO have the one that I want," he said. "I don't have to go out and play the field to know that one. And as far as the rest of the stuff goes, I figure that what I'm stronger in will balance out what you're not as strong in, just like you balance out my weaknesses with stuff you're good at." With that, I just draped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't a big wet, the only kind you see in movies type of kiss, it was just a sweet brush of the lips. Jack let out a sigh.
"Will, you make me feel so good about myself. That's why I love you. We're both a part of something really special, you know? Something a lot of people look their whole lives for and never find. And somehow, in this big, wide, world, we've managed to find each other."
"Baby," I said," you're just too good to be true." And I gave him another sweet kiss. "I sure do love you."
"I love you too," he said.
After Jack went home, I went up to my room, where my brother was in my room. "Will," he said, "Can I talk to you about something."
With a growing sense of dread in my stomach I answered, "yeah, kid, what is it?"
"Well, I think that I like somebody, but I'm scared because of what people might think," he said.
Shew! I thought this was gonna be about something completely else, something I didn't want to talk about for a while.
"Why are you scared to tell them, are you afraid they don't like you?" I asked.
"Well, no, I already know that they like me, but I don't think mom and dad will let me see them," he answered.
Ok, this really had my curiosity up, "Jamesee, (which is what I've called him since he was a kid, his name was really just James) who in the world is this? And why wouldn't mom and dad like them?" I asked.
"Do you PROMISE not to tell mom and dad?" he asked.
"Yeah man, everybody needs their secrets," I said, hehe, more than you even know, Jamesee!
"Ok, well, this person and I have been friends forever, and whenever I'm around them, they make me feel all dizzy and stuff. I really think I'm in love," he said.
I chuckled a little at this, the notion of an 8th grader being in love. I was mentally running through all of his friends, was it Jon? Andy? Ryan? Steven? I was convinced by this point that my little brother was coming out to me, and I was going to make this as painless as possible.
"It's ok, bro, you can tell me anything, you know that," I said. "Is it Jon? No, I bet it's Ryan, isn't it?" I asked.
"God, no," James giggled, "Jesus, Will, I'm in love with Shante'. I'm not a fucking fag! I just thought mom and dad wouldn't like her because she's black. They would kill me if I was in love with some GUY!" He just laughed at that thought, and I think my heart was about in my ankles by that point.
"Hey man," I tried to rally, "you gotta go with who makes you happy. If Shante' makes you happy then you've got to go for it. And don't call people names. I mean, you never know whose feelings you might be trampling when you shout out hurtful things like the 'f-word'."
James just kind of looked at me funny, like the gears in his head were turning, then he just shook it off, laughed and shrugged.
"Thanks, bro, I knew you'd understand," he said as he walked out of my room.
As I closed the door to my room, tears were burning their way down my cheeks. "A fucking fag." James' words kept echoing through my head long after our conversation had ended.
The next week of school was really forgettable, in fact, I don't even really remember it. I was at a real low point in my life. In fact, I don't think I had ever been so down in my entire life. Jack was always there, trying at first to just make me laugh, and then as the week went on, he got more desperate. By Friday, he was trying everything he could just to get a response out of me. I was mad, mad at myself, mad at the world, mad at Jack for making me feel this way about him. If he weren't so completely beautiful inside and out, I would be normal and like girls just like everybody else. It felt like he had somehow tricked me with his charms into liking him. Now, I was just a "fucking fag." James had no idea how deeply his words had seared themselves into my mind. I don't want to be like this anymore, I thought, I just want to be normal. I had always been a part of 'normal' society, now I was in a minority. A particularly despised minority. I didn't even fucking ask for this, why was I stuck with this? Was I being punished? God, I'm sorry for whatever I did, I just don't want to be like this anymore!
After blowing off plans for spending Friday night with Jack, Saturday morning he woke me up. "Jesus, Jack, how do you always get in my house? Do you pick the locks, or something?" I asked, showing that non-morning person side of myself.
He started to tear up, walked out of my room and left. What was I doing, I thought, why am I being such an asshole? God, I feel so confused and upset inside. I needed to talk to someone, and for the first time I met him, it couldn't be Jack. The thought killed me, but I needed a third party to give me impartial advice. I put on my "Alice in Chains Unplugged" CD, and called up Robert, my best friend since we were kids. I told him I had to talk to him about something, and to get over here in a hurry. "Down in a hole" was playing when he walked in, I thought that was kind of ironic. The words perfectly described the situation I was in.
"What's up, man?" Robert asked.
"Do you think you could get away from the wife tonight?" I said, "I really need a friend right now."
"Sure, man, but what about Jack? I mean, I'm flattered you called me, but I thought you two were pretty tight lately. Are ya'll not friends anymore?" he asked.
"We're still friends, I just don't want to have to deal with him right now. I just need somebody else right now. Do you remember when we were kids? We used to have the best time playing in that fort we made behind your house. Is it still there?" I asked.
"Well, sort of," he said, "the roof's gone, I think it was the hurricane that came through here about 2 years ago that got it. But the walls are still there."
"You wanna go out there and check it out?" I asked. "I think I need to go somewhere comfortable like that."
"Sure, man, are you ok? You're starting to weird me out here," he asked.
"Just hang on, Robert, you're about to understand everything," I said.
When we got to the fort, everything looked just like it used to, only it was like everything was miniature size. It felt nice to be there, though, like we went through a time machine back to a time when everything just made sense. Robert and I just sat on tree stumps, totally zoned out when finally I broke the silence.
"Thanks for coming out here with me Robert," I said.
"Hey man, it's no problem at all," he said. "I am just kind of worried about you because you've been acting all weird this week."
"How did you know how I've been acting this week?" I asked.
"Dude, everybody's noticed, we're all concerned about you. Especially Jack, everybody keeps asking him what's wrong with you. All he said was that you were just having issues you had to work out. Whatever that means. What's the matter, dude? Is this about some girl?" he asked.
"hehe, well, sort of, but not really," I said.
"Ok, now I'm really confused," he said.
"Join the club," I quipped, suddenly not in the mood to talk anymore.
We sat there for about another half hour when Robert stood up. "Dude, I'm not sure what's going through that head of yours, but whenever you're ready to talk about it, give me a call. I've been out here all day with you, and you've said like two words the whole time." He turned to walk out of the hollowed out fort, as my lips made the words. No air was coming out, so they were no more than just silent thoughts. I kept steadily getting louder with them until they were a slight whisper. As Robert was almost at the door, I finally said the words with enough force that he heard them. "I'm gay."
Robert froze where he stood and slowly turned around.
"What?" he asked. "What did you just say?"
"I'm gay, Robert."
"Are you sure, man? Like, is this like, "gay" gay? I mean you like guys, that kind of thing?"
"Yeah, that's the one," I managed a weak smile. "Ok, I see now, is that why you've been so weird this week, you just figured this all out?" he asked.
"Well," I said, "honestly I've known about it for a while now, I'm just now coming to terms with it, though. As hard as I push it down, drown it out, keep it hidden inside, it always comes back, everytime it's stronger than the last. It seems like the harder I try to hide it, the stronger it fights back. I've just realized it's not going away, and that's what's got me so down. I know that's heavy shit to just lay on somebody, so, what are you thinking?" I asked.
"I'm just sort of spinning right now," he answered. "You're gonna have to give me some time to get used to this, but don't worry, your secret's safe with me. And don't worry, man, I'm not gonna hate you or anything for something you can't help. Does Jack know about this?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think he's kind of got the idea," I said, suddenly interested in the dirt under my shoes.
"HOLY SHIT!! Why didn't I see this before?!?" Robert shouted excitedly, almost like he was enjoying this. "You and Jack are doing it! How long has this been going on?"
"We haven't 'Done It,' first of all, and second since the day he moved here," I answered.
"Awww! Love at first sight!" Robert giggled.
"Something like that, shithead," I laughed back at him. Wow, this went much better than I thought it would. Ok, this is one down, 5 billion more to go.
"That is too funny. Cara told me about at least five different girls that are dying just to go out with him," Robert said.
"Well they can't have him," I said as I smiled for the first time in nearly a week. "Robert, thank you so much, man, you are such an awesome guy. I really am lucky to have a great friend like you."
"Thanks man," he said. "You're not gonna try to kiss me now, are you?"
I just laughed and punched him lightly in the arm, "No way, you're definitely NOT my type!"
The sun was going down about this time, we'd been out in the fort most of the day, even though it felt like only about 15 minutes. I guess I was so lost in thought I just let everything fly by. Kind of like this past week. Then I thought about poor Jack, how I'd just treated him like shit when all he was trying to do was be a good boyfriend and be there for me. I told Robert I had to go, I had something I had to do.
He just laughed and said, "yeah, you better go make up with your boyfriend. Trust me on this one, coz I know a little something about this." Then he totally surprised me by giving me a big hug, and said, "love ya, bro, I mean it. Who ya are is more important to me than who ya like."
I was speechless, I didn't expect this from him, even though it was exactly what I wanted to hear.
"Oh, get on out of here," he said, "poor Jack probably thinks you're out here 'converting' me!" he just laughed.
I smiled and ran out towards Jack's house. When I got there, I rang the doorbell. Jack's mom answered, a little surprised to see me. I asked her if he was there, and she told me she thought Jack had been with me all day. I played it off and said that I had to do some yardwork and Jack had gone to the pool, and I was just wondering if he was back yet. She said, oh ok, no he wasn't here, but when I saw him to tell him they were eating and she would save him a plate. I thanked her and left, a little dazed. I hadn't seen Jack since that morning when I basically threw him out of my house. I wandered around the neighborhood, just thinking to myself. I checked up at the pool, he wasn't there. I went to the clubhouse, not there. Driving range? Nope not there either. Where in the hell was he? All of a sudden it sort of clicked. The tee box on hole 6. I took him there the night we made love for the first time. I walked out there, and saw him laying on his back listening to his discman. He saw me walking towards him and cut the music off.
"Whatcha listening to?" I asked.
"Floyd. Darkside," He answered abruptly.
"Good album," I said, getting no response back. "Jack, I.."
"What did I do, Will? I mean, I've done everything I can think of to be nice and supportive of you and all it's gotten me is hurt. When did I piss you off so bad for you to cut me off like this?" Jack pleaded.
His words cut me like a knife. "I know I've been selfish, Jack, I just needed time to sort out some things in my head. I've finally gotten some peace inside and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'll never leave you out like this again." I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. He tried to pull away at first, but soon he gave in. He was gently crying as I slipped my tongue in his mouth. I ran my fingers up his shirt and he softly moaned. I moved to his neck, as I gently sucked on his soft flesh, I slowly rubbed my hand over his chest, paying special attention to his erect nipples. I could feel his hardness pressing against me, and I slid my left hand down and rubbed his thigh then rested it on his crotch. I slid my hand under his boxers and slowly started jacking him off. I nibbled on his earlobe and he moaned out loud. "Oh Will, that feels so good. Go down on me, please, god please," Jack begged. I willingly obliged, and started my way down. I kissed his soft chest, planting gentle angel kisses on his soft belly as I undid his belt and slowly slid his khaki shorts off. I hooked my thumbs under his waistband and slid his boxers off. Jack was breathing heavily and I knew it wouldn't be long. I slid all the way down the length of his delicate shaft, letting the head massage the back of my throat. Jack just moaned and ran his fingers through my hair. "Oh yeah, baby, that feels so good," he encouraged. I bobbed up and down on his throbbing manhood, letting each stroke coat my throat with the precum that was steadily leaking from Jack's rigid cock. I pulled up to the tip and licked the head with my tongue, in slow circles. Jack was writhing in pleasure, aching for release. I put my index finger in my mouth and got it wet with saliva. As I slid back down on Jack, I let my finger circle Jack's tight hole, teasing it. He gasped for breath, and I felt his cock starting to expand. As his balls tightened up against him, I slipped my finger inside of him. His muscles clamped down around it as he erupted in the largest explosion I've ever seen. I came at the same time, not even touching myself. I was so worked up over the sexual attention I was giving Jack, that I climaxed myself. I swallowed, and Jack pulled me up to kiss me.
"That was incredible," he said.
"I know," I answered, "I didn't even have to touch myself, and I STILL got off. I'm sorry I've been such an asshole lately."
"I just couldn't understand why you were mad at me, I couldn't think of anything I had done to make you not talk to me," he answered.
"Baby, you could never do anything to make me stop talking to you. I just got a little confused, but I talked it all out with Robert today, and I'm all better now."
"You did what?" Jack asked.
"I talked to Robert. I told him everything about me and us, and he is cool with it all. It really helped to get it off my chest," I said.
Jack suddenly stood up, put his clothes on, grabbed his discman, and turned to leave.
With tears running down his cheeks, he quietly burned me to the ground, "How could you? You know what happened to me at my old school when people found out, and now you're willingly going to put me back through that nightmare again? I told you I wasn't ready for people to know yet, and you just took it upon yourself to go and TELL someone? How could you hurt me like this? How could you?" he screamed through defiantly clenched teeth.
I was mortally wounded, and my strength just left me. Jack ran off towards his house as I sat there balled up, crying to myself. Suddenly the sprinklers burst to life, dowsing my already soaked cheeks. Even though I was getting drenched from the sprinklers, I couldn't even summon the strength to move. I sat there quietly sobbing to myself, hoping the water would wash the pain away. ***************************************************************** Dammit!! Cliffhangers SUCK, don't they! Blame comicality, he's the one who got me started writing in the first place! LOL. And don't worry, I PROMISE the next chapter won't be as delayed in release as this one was. Till next time, Duffer
ncduffer@hotmail.com