Disclaimer: It's all fiction so none of this is real.
Author's Notes: I'm back with another installment of LWI. I got so much flank about the last chapter that I decided to continue it from Nick's point of view. Maybe this will answer some of your questions about the whole thing. I haven't started on the next chapter but I would like to ask which boyband member should I write about next; someone from NSYNC or 98 degrees. Tell me what you think and I'll write about the one who piqued my interest the most.
Sam, you rock. Jose, you fool, come back home. Ashley, please post another chapter of that "Black Magic" series of yours. Josh, way to go with your "Like the Rain" series. Shaun, hope you post another chapter of "D-evolution". To DLS, Zarah, Tim, and Penelope, thanks for writing back, I'm looking forward to reading your future works.
Now go and enjoy.----Dane
Love, Words, and Intentions Chapter 4: Nick Carter
Once we were lovers Just lovers we were Oh what a lie Once we were dreamers Just dreamers we were Oh you and I
"10,000 Promises"
The late afternoon sun slowly sank towards the horizon as half of the Carter clan brood settled themselves on the beach facing their seaside mansion. The twins, Aaron and Angel, after bringing down the fun equipment, decided to run down the surf with their golden retriever, Haley. BJ laid herself down on a blanket to get some sun before it got too low for anyone to tan. And Nick was just sitting on the sand, near most of the stuff, looking towards the sea with a pensive expression.
BJ noticed the thoughtful composure of her older brother for the passed hour or so and decided to sidle up beside him. She really didn't think she was going to get a tan today anyway.
"Penny for your thoughts," she offered.
Nick looked at his sister and shrugged. BJ first started to notice the change in Nick since he came back for New York all those weeks ago. To those who aren't intimate with Nick, he seemed normal. His family and band mates began to worry over the young Backstreet Boy but he would always say that there's nothing wrong. BJ suspected that it had something to do with Drew since he was there during that same time.
"Is it about Drew?," she asked and Nick just slowly nodded his head.
"We broke up," he said bluntly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said with sincerity. At that, an absence of conversation came upon the two siblings. This mood continued for a good 15 minutes before BJ got uncomfortable and spoke up. "You knew this was bound to happen, right?"
Nick nodded, not breaking his gaze off the breaking tides. "You know what I did, Beej. I didn't even want to continue the relationship after that first night. I knew it would eventually lead on to this point. He pleaded and I caved. I had a doubtful, but wonderful, one month relationship with a married man. What is it with me and married men? First Brian, now Drew! You think that after all this I would have learnt my lesson." Nick ranted towards the ocean and felt a tear fall from one eye away from BJ's view of her brother.
"Oh, Nick. At least you knew what the consequences were going to be."
"Then why am I not totally over him yet? When I broke it off with Brian, we parted on good terms and I got over things pretty quickly. With Drew, it feels like everyday without him is like agony to my soul. Every single thought about him hurts even worse than every moment of pain that I've even experienced in my life twice over. What is it about that makes me want to go to him right now and beg to be together again?"
BJ was stunned at her brother's confession. Gathering her hair into a ponytail, she digested all of the things she just heard from Nick and started on a course of discussion. " Start from the beginning Nick. Tell me everything."
"I already told you everything."
"I mean EVERYTHING, Nick. From the beginning when you met Drew."
Nick sighed and grabbed the first drink that he could get from the cooler; a bottle of Heinekken. He opened the bottle and took a big swig of it and let the cold, slightly bitter taste go down his throat. He grabbed another bottle and gave it to BJ. "Drink up. This is going to take awhile." BJ opened the bottle and took a small drink of it. She wasn't really a big beer drinker but she was willing to drink some if only to help Nick cope with his situation.
Nick shouted to the twins to be careful and told them that if they get bored, they could go back to the house without them. Nick told another swig and gave BJ a small smile.
"Two months ago, the head of Jive records held a party with about half of the music industry attending. I recently broke it off with Mandah because of our sparse time that we ever spend with each other. I got over her pretty quickly because I never really loved her. Last I heard, she was dating that gay dude from Dawson's Creek. Anyway, all I wanted to do that night was to celebrate the fact I was single again and I wanted to party. During the course of the party, some of us decided to take up the rest of the drinking session to AJ place. It was wild considering that me, Drew, AJ, Howie, Chris, Justin, Jeff, the other Justin, the four blonds (Britney, Jessica, Christina, and Mandy), and about a half dozen other people were already smashed beyond normal. Everyone went to their own little corner either to sleep off the booze or to get it on. I was the only one still somewhat coherent so I was drinking all the water that I could muster in the kitchen." Nick paused to drink then continued.
"I felt like someone was watching me that whole night. Being in the spotlight all the time makes you dismiss the feeling quickly because everybody is watching almost 24/7. But this time it was different. I didn't feel like I was being watched by thousands of people. I looked around from what I was doing and saw a pair of hazel eyes looking at me from the darkness in the door. I went closer and saw that it was Drew with a face that could break a million hearts without trying. He just woken up from a bad dream and went to the kitchen to get something for his head. Drew saw me and he said that I was one of the most beautiful sights that he ever saw."
Nick smiled at that memory. BJ offered an understanding expression. At that moment, Aaron and Angel decided to leave them alone on the beach and hollered to tell them that they were going back into the house. Both of the elder siblings waved their hands in acknowledgement. Both of them took another guzzle of the Heinekken and looked on as the sun had gotten lower into the horizon. The air started to get colder by the minute so Nick got the blanket that him didn't use and wrapped it around his sister. They both smiled at each other.
"One thing lead to another and we both soon found ourselves in my room in AJ's place without one thing in mind. To fuck each other silly." BJ laughed at that. "God, I know that I shouldn't be telling you this but he gives amazing head." Nick blushed. "Anyway, soon enough it was morning. I was ready to write it off as a one night stand when he kissed me again. Damn, that was the best kiss that I have ever received. Somehow, we got into another round and that's when AJ burst into the room. He saw us in the middle of fornicating. He ran out of the room after he caught us 'doing the deed'."
BJ mused. "So that's why AJ has been acting a bit weird whenever he comes by the house. He's always been the loud one, but recently, he's been nothing but quiet these past few weeks."
"I didn't notice. Drew was always in my mind, even until now. You know where I stand with AJ. I guess he hasn't totally give up the hope that we'll be together someday."
BJ readjusted her sitting position and took another sip of the beer. Taking a long sided looking, she studied her brother with sadness. In all her years of know Nickolas Gene Carter, she has never seen him so "hopeless".
"What happened next? Did you talk?"
"Yes, we did. I told him that even if I had feelings for him, I didn't want to become a home wrecker and go between him and Lea. I held firm for about three days before his begging got through my defenses and I gave in. The rest is history and so is probably the best relationship that I ever had."
"Nick," she said with a sighing breath. "Your track record sucks."
Nick chuckled at her quip. "Yeah, I know. With Brian, it was loneliness that got me into a relationship with him. With AJ, it was because of him. But I still feel nothing but platonic with him. With Mandah, it was pure sex, nothing less. With Drew, well, I'm still trying to figure that one out." Nick finished off the bottle and grabbed another one from the cooler. He twisted off the cap and chugged down about half of it before stopping. "You know, I should be pissed with Drew."
"Why?"
"When he broke up with me, I felt as if he left something out. He gave me the one on one version of a "Dear John" letter, and then he introduced me to his cousin who coincidentally worked in the Starbucks where we met up. She had this look on her face that told me that something was up. After that, I left Drew and his cousin and took the next flight available out of New York back to Orlando. I felt I was dying and I didn't want to deal with it. When I felt a little bit in control with myself, I talked with his brother and he told me about Lea's condition. I was angry for a better part of a day. Nobody, and I mean nobody, not even Kevin, could stop me from being a bitch that day. After sometime of thinking, I reached to one very painful conclusion: I'm still in love with a lying, two-timing, pathetic bastard."
BJ moved closer to Nick and gave him a hug. Nick took it and returned it with equal affection. "Are you going to be alright?"
Exhaling a relaxing breathe, Nick smiled reassuringly. "I will be."
"Glad to hear that. You know I'm not an expert in bisexuality but if its like any other couples out there then whatever happens will be okay. I'm sure Drew has his reasons for not telling you the truth. Knowing that your wife is going to die will not make a person rational. I'm sure that he knows that you know about Lea. And I'm sure that he feels guilty about that. Know you, as I do, you will have to talk to him eventually, one way or another. You need to clear the air; otherwise things will always stay awkward."
"When did you get so wise? Last I looked, you were a model and everyone knows that models don't have enough I.Q. to fill a thimble."
BJ smacked him in the arm and laughed in spite of herself. All of a sudden, two bundles of kinetic twins came cannoning towards the two of them and got tackled. Aaron managed to get Nick's head into the sand while Angel got BJ into land on her side.
"Come on, you two. Mom said that dinner will be ready in a few minutes and told us to get you," said Angel in a babbling tone.
"Yeah, hurry up. I'm hungry," whined Aaron. Nick laughed because his stomach was starting to feel like it could devour anything at this moment. The twins then bounded off the sand back to the house, leaving Nick and BJ to brush off the sand off their bodies.
"BJ, thanks," appreciated Nick as the last ray of sunlight peeked on the horizon before the night fully took the sky.
"What are sisters for anyway?"
"You don't want me to answer that." Both of them gathered the equipment that they brought with them and took one last look at the sea with the full moon in its reflection before trodding back to the Carter Mansion.
What about your Your ten thousand promises That you gave to me Your ten thousand promises That you promised me
TBC...
Hope you liked that. Please remember to email me your comments and remarks about "Love, Words, and Intentions". Please read also my other series on Nifty "Mad Season". I need your comments on who I'm going to do next. Until next time!