This story is a work of fiction. It depicts a romance between two consenting adult males and may contain some descriptions of sexual acts, again between two consenting adult males. If you are not of legal age to read this kind of story, please leave now. If you reside in an area where reading stories that include sexual situations between two consenting adult males is illegal, please leave now. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to any person(s) living or dead is simply a coincidence. The author retains all rights to this story. It cannot be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author (me). Please contact the author for any requests. Copyright 2005.
I HAVE A NEW E-MAIL ADDRESS
Feedback (and criticism) is ALWAYS appreciated and welcome. Please respond to this story at: jaden.scott@adelphia.net
I look forward to hearing from all of you and I will respond if you write to me.
Thanks to all of you who have written so far with your encouraging words. I have appreciated every one of them. Jaden
Author's Note: Sorry it has taken me so long to finish this chapter. I have been really busy lately. I moved about 2 1/2 weeks ago, then my sister got married, plus I've been looking for a job. Things are finally settling down now so hopefully I'll have more time to write!!
LOVER'S LANE
by Jaden
From the end of Chapter Five:
My coming out was a roller coaster of emotions. I nearly committed suicide; instead I lived. I ended up gaining a newfound love and appreciation for my whole family while learning what unconditional love truly meant. Per our agreement, I started attending therapy sessions--I was lucky to get a great counselor.
CHAPTER SIX: MEET LANE MCNEIL--THE LATER YEARS
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE TOLD FROM LANE'S POINT OF VIEW. I WILL CLEARLY INDICATE WHEN WE SWITCH BACK TO JADEN'S POINT OF VIEW
Gradually, with the help of my counselor and the love and support of my family, I learned to accept my feelings of attraction towards other men. I even acted upon them, eventually.
I decided to keep my sexuality a secret while I finished high school. I was receiving counseling during those years and I felt like I wasn't ready to face the consequences that would result in being completely open about my life.
In order to keep my secret, I started dating some of the girls at my high school. I figured that if I dated girls no one would question my sexuality. Because I was considered to be part of the "nerd" group, many of the most popular (and therefore most stuck-up) girls would not date me (even though I was also considered to be a "jock" and a "brain"). So I dated whoever was willing to accept my invitation. Since each of my "relationships" didn't last very long, I was accused of being a "ladies' man" (boy--if they only knew the truth!!).
When I was dating girls, I never tried anything more physical than kissing them. I felt mildly excited when kissing a girl--even though I wasn't attracted to any of my dates, the physical act of kissing created some stimulation for me. I was anxious to try kissing another guy--I imagined it would be a million times hotter than kissing a girl.
After I graduated high school, I decided to be more open with my sexuality. I discussed the situation in length with my counselor and we determined I would slowly come out of the closet when I started college. After years of counseling, I felt mentally strong enough to "come out" as a gay man. I am not the type of person to throw my sexuality in someone's face, but, if someone asked me, I decided I would tell them the truth. I also decided to stop dating women--it didn't feel right to lead them on, especially when I was certain I couldn't return their feelings.
The first person other than my family or counselor I came out to was Nick Garvey, my roommate during my freshman year of college. When Nick and I first met, we clicked immediately--it felt like we were long-lost best friends. Nick had mentioned to me during our very first conversation (which lasted about 5 hours) that his sister Joanne was a lesbian She had a beautiful girlfriend named Kathy and they were very happy together. Nick told me that he had learned to accept his sister completely and, with her help, he was starting to understand homosexuality in general.
About two weeks into our first semester, Nick and I were invited to go to a party at a local frat house. Nick was excited to go to the party--in his words he was going to be "on the prowl" that night. He hadn't gotten laid for over three weeks--ever since he and his high school girlfriend had broken up. He intended to remedy his "situation" because he planned on "getting some". I was starting to get annoyed at all of his talk about having sex, especially since I was still a virgin!!! At eighteen, I knew that a majority of my friends and peers had already had sex. I wasn't being a prude--in fact I was starting to obsess about having sex. I really, really, really, really, wanted to do it--and soon. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure how to go about meeting other gay people around my own age.
Nick had been pestering me to join him in on "the prowl". He even suggested that after each of us picked up a girl, we bring both of them back to our room and "get it on". After he made that proposal, I finally had enough of his macho bullshit. I decided it was time I told him the truth about my sexuality.
"Nick, we need to talk.", I said to him about an hour before we were going to leave for the party.
"Sounds serious. What's wrong--did I do something to piss you off?", Nick asked me. He had an apprehensive look on his face.
"I'm not pissed off at you. But I do need to talk to you about something.", I told him.
We were both standing in the middle of our room. I was so nervous at that point that my legs were shaking. I suggested that we both sit down.
"Oh, this is a sit-down talk. It must be something big.", Nick said to me. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes.
OK--just take a deep breath. Nick will be cool. He won't hate me. We'll still be friends after I tell him---all of these thoughts were running through my mind as I moved to sit down on my bed.
"It's just--well, I want to share something about myself with you. I can't figure out a tactful or graceful way to say what I want to say, so.....that is....you see---aaawwww, FUCK IT!! Nick, I'm gay. As in....I'm attracted to other guys, not girls."
I could feel my face turning beet red and my palms were sweating. As hard as I tried, I could not look at Nick in the face. I was aftraid he'd be staring at me with hatred in his eyes.
Of all the possible reactions that I thought Nick could have, what he did next really suprised me---he giggled. I was so shocked to hear him giggle that I forgot about my fear for a moment and looked at his face. He started to giggle again, then again, all the while a huge smile forming on his face. Finally he started laughing--he laughed until he had tears coming out of his eyes.
I should have been thrilled that he wasn't beating my face in; instead, I started to get annoyed that he was laughing--he was laughing at me !!
"This is NOT funny, dude. Geez--quit laughing. I just told you something deeply personal about myself---this is NOT A LAUGHING MATTER!!!", I yelled at him.
Nick started to calm down. When he finally regained some control, he told me,
"I'm sorry, Lane. I wasn't making fun of or laughing AT you. It's just....you reminded me of something my brother said to me. When my parents brought me to school, my little brother came with us and we were fighting during the entire drive. After I got settled, my parents and brother had to leave. I usually only hug my mom and dad when I say good-bye---I was shocked when Jason wanted to hug me too, especially since we had been tearing each other's heads off earlier in the day. As I (tentatively) hugged him, Jason whispered in my ear: 'You're such an asshole. I hope your roommate is a flaming queen who tries to suck your cock'. He finished hugging me and stepped back, a huge evil smile on his face."
"So, THAT'S why you were laughing--because of what your brother said??", I asked dubiously.
"Absolutely. Lane, listen to me. I don't care if your skin is blue, or you're three feet tall, or you're GAY---it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is how we treat each other. You're a cool guy and I want to be your friend, your best friend.", Nick responded. "Just to be clear though--I'm straight. Don't go getting any funny ideas!!"
I was so relieved. I really liked Nick (platonically) and I didn't want to end our friendship. The best part about Nick's reaction to my homosexuality is the way he treated of me after I told him--NOTHING WAS DIFFERENT. He didn't say or do anything strange (well, strange for HIM, anyway). He continued to react to me in the same way that he always did. He still talked (constantly) about the various girls he wanted to bang. Life with Nick remained the same---I was very grateful for that.
Nick was the only person that I ended up coming out to during my freshman year of college. After school was finished, we each went to our respective homes for the summer. Nick and I decided to live together again during our sophomore year but in a different dorm. As I explained earlier, I had gained some weight during my freshman year that my family tortured me about to no end. I started working out over the summer and I was back to my normal weight by the time my sophomore year started.
The first semester of my sophomore year was fairly boring. Things didn't start to get interesting until the second semester. I was taking an Organic Chemistry class and lab. The class met for one hour three times per week and the lab met the other two days for two hours at a time. I was taking this class because I had decided to major in Microbiology. I got interested in the subject during my senior year in high school when my science class had spent about six weeks studying bacteria and viruses. I really liked the subject and decided to pursue a degree in that field of study. All of my freshman and sophomore classes were pre-requisite classes I had to take before I could even begin my first microbiology class. So, that is how I ended up in an Organic Chemistry lab during the second semester of my sophmore year. Our professor assigned a lab partner to each of us---my lab partner was Zach McDonald.
I've often wondered if there is some mysterious "force" in the universe that controls some or all of the things that happen to us during our existence. I've heard some people say that God has a set plan for our lives. I've heard others say that everything that happens in our lives is destined due to "fate". Some people I know believe nothing is pre-ordained or fated, that things happen at random and for no particular reason at all. I'm not sure what the answer is, all I know is that somehow I ended up assigned as a lab partner to Zach McDonald. The explanation that I've decided to believe is we got assigned to each other simply because our last names were so close to each other.
Zach was gay--there was no question about that. He wasn't particularly effeminate acting. He didn't dress outrageously or wear makeup---there was nothing overt about him that would make you think he was gay. Somehow, though, everyone knew. It was almost as if he had a bright, blinking neon sign on his head that said 'I AM A HOMOSEXUAL'!!! It's difficult to explain how everyone knew. We just did. End of story.
Zach was about 5 inches shorter than I was and only weighed about 145 lbs. He had bleached blond hair and crystal blue eyes. He wasn't muscular; instead he was slim and trim. I think most gay men would call Zach a 'twink'. He was a junior and taking the organic chemistry class and lab to fulfill a science requirement for his major so he could graduate.
Zach made no effort to hide his attraction for me. His actions, like his appearance, weren't overt, but I could easily tell he had a crush on me. Quite frankly I was flattered by the attention that he gave me. I thought he was cute--not ridiculously hot, but definitely cute as hell. I felt protective of him, maybe because I was so much bigger than he was. He flirted with me constantly in class and in lab. He made it pretty clear that he wouldn't object if we moved our relationship out of the classroom and into the bedroom.
At this point, I was 19 years old. I had only dated and kissed girls and I was passed the point of simple curiosity regarding the intimate interactions between two gay males. To be crude, I was horny as hell!! I encouraged Zach's flirting and I started to flirt back with him. By the middle of the semester, I thought I was going to go out of my mind if something physical didn't happen between Zach and I.
The break I needed came in the form of a huge mid-term test for our organic chemistry class. I had been looking for an opportunity to start spending some time with Zach outside of class, so I took advantage of the situation and invited Zach to study for the test with me. Upon hearing that I had a roommate, Zach suggested we meet to study at his dorm room--at the dorm room where he lived ALL BY HIMSELF. There would be no annoying roommates or dormmates to interrupt our studying. I knew if I accepted his proposal to study at his place that something was going to happen between the two of us. I'm pretty sure he knew it too. So, of course, I jumped at the chance.
On the scheduled day, I arrived at Zach's room about 10 minutes earlier than we had planned. I was nervous, excited, anxious--all kinds of emotions were flowing through my body. My hand was shaking as I knocked on the door to Zach's room. He opened the door and we stood there staring at each other for about 3 seconds. He looked so hot; it took all of my control not to grab and start kissing him right then and there. He gave me a huge smile and motioned for me to enter his room. My right arm brushed lightly against him as I walked into the room--I got goosebumps all over my arm just from that simple action. I turned around and watched as Zach closed and LOCKED the door. The last shred of doubt I had regarding what was going to happen that night vanished as I heard the lock on the door click into place.
I became extremely nervous at that point--a small part of me wanted to run away and get back into the safety of my own bed. The larger part of me--the horny part--overruled that thought. I couldn't move, however. I was stuck in place. I was startled a bit when Zach started to speak.
"Glad you could come over, Lane. So...are you ready to get started??"
I was caught off guard by Zach's choice of words. My mind was a mess with thoughts such as: GET STARTED?? AM I READY TO GET STARTED?? THIS IS MY FIRST TIME!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I AM DOING!!! AM I SUPPOSED TO START TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES?? MAYBE I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!!!
I think that Zach saw the look of shock, confusion, and panic that obviously crossed over my face because he smiled and said,
"I meant, are you ready to start STUDYING??"
OH--STUDYING. JEEZ, LANE--GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!!!
"Of course...I knew that." I said, weakly trying to defend myself. "I guess we'd better get started."
"Right. Listen, there's not alot of room to sit in here, so I was thinking that we could just sit on the bed, if that's OK with you." Zach said to me.
I looked over at the bed. All of the beds that the university provided in the dorms were singles. I suddenly realized how small they really were. How were we both going to fit on the bed--especially later when we got to the good stuff??
I took my backpack off of my shoulder and sat down on the bed on the opposite end from the pillow. I scooted so that my head and back rested against the wall and my feet were dangling off of the side of the bed. Zach looked at me and smiled again. He grabbed his Organic Chemistry book off of his desk and came over to the bed. He sat down RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!! He also scooted so his head and back were resting against the wall. Since he was shorter than I was, his legs and feet didn't dangle off the side of the bed. The entire left side of Zach's body was pressed up against the entire right side of my body. It felt soooo good.
Zach opened up his textbook to the first chapter that we needed to start studying for the upcoming test. I opened my backpack, pulled out my book, and opened it to the same chapter. After that, I just sat there like a zombie---I couldn't move. The only thing I was aware of was Zach's body on mine. I wanted more of his body to be touching me!!! I realized there was no way I was going to be able to concentrate during this studying session. Suddenly I was aware of Zach saying my name.
"LANE!!" Zach yelled. I turned my head and looked over at Zach. "Whoa--where did you just go?? I've said your name like 5 times and you didn't hear me!! Wow--that was weird!!"
I felt my face start to blush as I comprehended what Zach was telling me.
"Um....Um....I, I, I was j-just thinking about w-what we needed to s-study." I managed to stammer out. I felt so embarrassed!! I turned my head and started staring at Zach's desk. I didn't want to look at him.
I heard Zach close his book and then I felt him tugging at my book. I finally looked over at him and started to stare in his eyes. I let him take control of my book---he took it out of my hands, closed it, and set it off to side with his book, staring into my eyes the whole time.
A small smile started to form on Zach's mouth. He turned his body so that he was facing me directly. He took his right hand and placed it on my thigh.
"So...I was thinking maybe we should start studying in a little bit. What do you think??" Zach whispered to me.
I couldn't stop staring into his eyes. They were a unique shade of blue--they were beautiful. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was starting to breathe heavily. Ever so slowly, I started to move my head closer to Zach's head. I noticed that he was also starting to lean his head towards mine. I closed my eyes.
Our lips touched, very gently at first. I backed off just slightly for a second; then we both leaned back in and pushed our lips together with more force. I was instantly aroused. OUr lips started moving against each other---this went on for about 5 seconds, then I felt his mouth start to open. He gave my lips a quick little lick with his tongue. Once I felt his mouth open and his tongue on my lips, it was a dam burst inside of me. I immediately opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out. In a matter of moments we were kissing fiercely, all the weeks of pent up emotion pouring out of both of us. This definitely felt better than kissing a girl--there was no comparison.
I'm not sure how long we were kissing---it felt like at least an hour. My hands were all over him--in his hair, on his face, massaging his shoulders, rubbing his back. At some point Zach moved over and straddled my lap. When he did that, I grabbed onto his ass and pulled him into me---I felt like I couldn't be close enough to him. Both of us were moaning and groaning loudly.
Then, I felt it. It was poking into my stomach. Once I realized what I was feeling, I stopped kissing Zach and pulled my head away slightly. We were both panting as I stared into his eyes. I looked down in the direction of the lower half of his body, then looked back up into his eyes. Zach started grinding his cock into my stomach with some force. He leaned his head in and started whispering into my ear,
"I want you Lane. You are sooo hot. Shit, I've wanted you since the first moment I saw you walk into class. I want you to fuck me---NOW!!
Zach pulled his head back and looked into my eyes again. I was extremely nervous at that point.
"Um, Zach....um, I want you too. It's just...just...." I whispered to him.
"It's OK, Lane.", Zach interrupted me. "It's your first time---I figured that out already. There's nothing to be nervous about. Just do what feels natural. I don't think you could something that I wouldn't like."
He leaned in and started kissing me again. In a matter of moments, all of my nervousness vanished. That night, I lost my virginity--We ended up having sex three times that night. I couldn't get enough of him.
After that first night, Zach and I became boyfriends. I think I spent almost every night for the rest of the semester in his room. The sex was phenomenal between Zach and I---in the beginning of our relationship, I still felt upset at times that I had to wait until I was nineteen to have sex, but those regrets didn't last too long as I more than made up for that wasted time with Zach. For his part, Zach was insatiable. He needed to have sex at least twice a day---and I was more than happy to oblige. The majority of the time I topped Zach, but on a few occasions I bottomed for him. I didn't hate being on the bottom---however, it felt more natural for us when I topped him. As much as I enjoyed the physical sex act(s) that we performed on each other, I also really enjoyed the other aspects of lovemakeing---the kissing, the cuddling, running my fingers through Zach's hair, spooning up to Zach and just listening to him breathe. It was exhilarating.
Nick was very happy for me that I finally got laid. I think his exact words were 'It's about time'. Since I was with Zach during much of my free time, I didn't get to spend as much time with Nick as I was used to during the remainder of our sophomore year. Luckily, Nick was very understanding of the situation and our friendship didn't suffer.
Before I knew it, it was the end of my sophomore year. Zach and I had been seeing each other exclusively for about 8 weeks. The longest "relationship" I had up until that point was about 3 weeks with one of the girls that I "dated" in high school. By the time the end of the school year arrived, I had convinced myself that I was completely in love with Zach--and that he felt exactly the same way that I did. Neither of us had actually spoken those three little words to each other, but I really believed it was just because both of us were shy and neither one wanted to be the first to say those words. I was incredibly sad when I thought about the summer months. I really wanted to continue seeing Zach over the summer, but it was impossible because I lived in Massachusetts and Zach lived in a small town outside of San Francisco. Plus, Zach had gotten an internship at a company in San Francisco for the summer and I had a summer job too. As much as we tried, we couldn't come up with a plan for either of us to visit during the summer. We shared a long hug and kiss goodbye on that last day of school and then I watched as Zach drove away to go to the airport.
For the first month of the summer, Zach and I talked or e-mailed each other every day. Although I didn't get to see him physically, I still was grateful that I got to hear his voice or read something he wrote each day. During the second month of our summer vacation, I would still try to call or write to Zach on a daily basis. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get ahold of him as often I had the previous month. When I did talk to him, Zach told me that he was working really hard at his internship and he was putting in alot of hours. I really didn't begin to get suspicious until August. Zach hardly ever called me and never wrote during that month. When we did get on the phone, he would only want to speak for 5 or 10 minutes at most--then he would have to go. He said he was extremely tired from all of the hours he was getting at his internship and that it was starting to burn him out. I tried to accept his excuses at face value, but I started to have doubts about where our relationship was going. At that point, I was glad that summer vacation was almost over, because then we would be back at school and our relationship we be the same as it was before, or so I thought.
Finally, summer vacation was over and my junior year of college was starting. Nick and I had decided to rent a house for the school year with two of our other friends--Tim Bath and Clint Morris. The house had 4 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms, so we each had our own bedroom and only 2 of us had to share each bathroom. I moved back to school on a Wednesday. Zach was due to arrive on Thursday afternoon. He had taken the exact same single dorm room that he had had the previous year.
Zach seemed to be genuinely excited to see me when he finally arrived at the college. When we first saw each other, he ran over to me and jumped into my arms and started kissing me all over my face---IN PUBLIC!!! I didn't care, though. I was back with Zach and he was happy to see me and that's all that mattered. I helped him take his stuff into his room and before he even had a chance to unpack he attacked me. The sex was great as always, but I noticed it wasn't as intimate as it had been at the end of the last school year. Zach seemed to just want to get off, and while he made sure that I was satisfied, the stuff that I enjoyed the most, like kissing, cuddling, etc., well--Zach didn't seem too interested in doing any of that stuff. I figured that the time we spent apart had affected the intimate portion of our relationship, but now that we would be seeing each other on a daily basis, we would quickly get back to "normal".
Our relationship didn't go back to the place it had been in previously, however. Both of us seemed to be very busy with school and classes as the new school year began. As a junior, I was finally able to start taking microbiology classes, and zach, as a senior, seemed to be constantly busy with his classes and making sure that he would be able to graduate the following June. As busy as I was, I was still completely in love with Zach--I thought he was everything I could ask for or want. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he started cancelling dates or asking me NOT to come over and spend the night in his room. I figured that he was stressed about school and graduating and I wanted to give him the space he needed.
October 22, 2003 was the day my whole world fell apart. Nick, Tim, Clint and I were having a boys night out--something we hadn't done in quite some time because everyone was dating someone seriously. Nick had met an extremelely beautiful and intelligent girl named Kelly at the beginning of the semester and he was still dating her in october!!! They were a perfect fit for each other and everyone, including Nick, knew it. He had sown his wild oats for the last 2 years of school and he was actually starting to mature and I think he realized that Kelly was someone that he needed to hold onto. Kelly had a best friend named Chrissy that started to hang around our house once Nick and Kelly started dating. Before anyone realized it, Tim and Chrissy became an item. Chrissy was also an awesome girl--and very funny too. She always had some crazy story to tell about her family that would have all of us crying because we were laughing so hard. Clint was always more of the quiet and shy one of our group, so it suprised all of us when he started dating a very loud and outgoing girl named Angela. Despite their differences, it seemed that they fit together perfectly. They balanced each other--Angela helped make Clint more outgoing and Clint seemed to have a calming effect on Angela.
It was the first time that all 4 of us were in serious relationships at the same time. I had come out to Tim and Clint during my sophomore year. Again, I was lucky because they both had great reactions to the news. I was starting to believe that our generation was light-years more accepting of alternative lifestyles than previous generations. Nothing really fazes most of the people I know. All 4 of us decided that we needed to have a night out as just "the boys". The girls and Zach had no objections to the idea and encouraged us to go out. The 3 girls decided to have their own night out, while Zach told me he was going to stay in and study--he said that he had alot of school work to catch up on.
After partying pretty hard all night, each of us decided to go surprise our respective significant other. I was able to get into Zach's dorm without any problems. Althought the main door is locked at night, practically everyone in the dorm knew me since I was around so much, so one of the other resisdents opened the outside door and let me in so I didn't have to make Zach do it. The floor that Zach lived on had one long hallway, which ended with a right turn that led to second and much shorter hallway. Zach's room was located at the end of the shorter hallway. By the time I got into Zach's dorm, it was after 2AM. I was trying to be quiet so that I didn't wake any of the students that were already sleeping. As I got to the end of the long hallway I could hear some voices coming from the short hallway. I came to a stop at the end of the long hallway and listened for a second---it was Zach talking!!. An evil smile formed on my face as I decided I was going to charge around the corner and try to scare the shit out of him.
I counted to three than started running around the corner. What I saw caused me to stop in my tracks---it was Zach and another guy and they were KISSING!!!!! OH MY GOD---ZACH WAS KISSING ANOTHER GUY!!!! I stood there staring at them for a few seconds--they hadn't noticed me yet. It took another few seconds to find my voice, and I finally did.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??", I shouted at the top of my voice.
Zach and his new "buddy" immediately pulled apart and both looked at me. I didn't know what to say or do.
"What...what is this?? Zach?? What's going on??", I said. "I don't understand. Zach??"
The guy that Zach was with got a really guilty look on his face.
"Um, I think I better take off." he said quietly to Zach. "I'll talk to you later, OK??"
Zach looked at the guy, smiled (HE SMILED!!--GGGRRR) and nodded his head. There was a door at the end of the short hallway right by where Zach and the mystery guy were standing. The mystery guy left through that door.
After the door closed, Zach turned his attention back to me. The fucker didn't looked embarrassed or nervous--he had a very neutral expression on his face.
"I guess we need to talk.", he said to me in a matter-of-fact tone.
"TALK?? You bet your damn ass we need to talk. Just what in the hell was going on here?? Zach--you were KISSING HIM!! KISSING HIM!! What...what...I...I can't even speak right now." I said.
"Listen, maybe we should wait and talk tomorrow. It's late and you are going to start waking people up if you keep shouting like you've been doing.", Zach said to me.
"Tomorrow?? Zach--I just caught you KISSING another guy--and you want to talk about this tomorrow?? HELL NO!!! NO FUCKING WAY!! I want some answers and I want them right now!!", I responded, my voice still raised.
"Jeez, Lane. Get a grip. Don't you get it. We're done. Over. I thought you'd have gotten the hint by now. We had our fun and now it's over. Got it??", Zach said with a mean tone in his voice.
I had never heard Zach speak that way before--to me or to anyone else. I suddenly felt like I was in a dream--there's no way this is happening, is there?? I love him!! He's my BOYFRIEND!! Something had to be wrong--he wants to break up with me?? I don't believe it!!
"What?? We're done?? Just like that?? I don't understand, Zach. I thought we had a committment. I'm in LOVE with you, for goodness sake!!," I responded back to him.
"Love?? Lane, we're not in love. We're not dating. We've been FUCKING. That's all--just fucking. And now--we're done fucking. I'm not a one man type of person, Lane. We've had our fun and now it's over.", he said.
I started to get tears in my eyes.
"Hey--Lane....don't get upset!!", he continued, "I thought you understood the nature of our relationship. We haven't once said we were committed to each other. I've never told you that I love you. C'mon Lane!! Did you really think...Wait a minute...did you really think we were...dating?? YOu did, didn't you??!!"
I couldn't believe it---how could I have been so...so...WRONG?? How could I have mis-read our whole relationship?? More tears started flowing out of my eyes. I hated crying in front of the bastard, but I couldn't stop myself.
"Awww, Lane. Shit. I honestly thought you knew where I was coming from. I sincerely didn't mean to lead you on. Listen--are you going to be OK??", he said to me with much more sincerity in his voice.
I just shook my head. I didn't want to look at him anymore. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had been soooo happy just 5 minutes ago, and now my heart was breaking.
"I'll be fine. Um...I need to leave--right now.", I said.
"Call me if you need to.", he said to me. He turned, walked into his room, and closed the door. Those were the last words I ever heard from zach McDonald.
To say I was a mess for the next few days would be an understatement. I had trouble eating, I didn't go to class or study, and I quit working out. All I wanted to do was sleep. I stayed in bed for 4 straight days---until Nick finally had enough.
"OK--LET'S GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!! c'mon---RIGHT NOW!!", Nick shouted as he came barging into my bedroom.
"Go the fuck away, Nick. Leave me alone", I responded.
"No--you've been locked in the room for 4 damn days, Lane. You haven't eaten, gone to class, or worked out---and you and this room fucking STINK!!! Now, get up and get your ass into the shower and get dressed. Kelly and I are taking you to get something to eat.", Nick said.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!! I MEAN IT!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!", I shouted back to him. I turned over and threw the covers over my head. The next thing I knew, my entire body was being lifted off of the bed and I was standing up.
"YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER, GET DRESSED, THEN GO WITH KELLY AND I TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR??", Nick said in a slow, ominous voice. His tone left no room to doubt how serious he was.
"FINE. You win. I'll go. Now--get out of my fucking room. I'll be downstairs in a few minutes.", I said in defeat.
After Nick left my room I sat down on the edge of my bed. I looked up--I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that was mounted on the wall directly across from me. SHIT---I looked horrible!! Suddenly, I realized something--Zach had power over me when he broke my heart, but I was continuing to let him have power over me by how I was treating myself. I decided that I had to let go of the bastard. It hurt, but I knew if I didn't do it--and soon--I would only keep getting worse.
I went out with Nick and Kelly that night and ate dinner with them. I started the long process of healing my broken heart that night--it took awhile, but eventually I got over Zach.
February 6, 2004 was the day that I saw HIM for the first time. He seemed perfect--well, physically anyway. After that first sighting, I continued to watch for him everytime I was in the gym. I quickly learned he had a set schedule--he would work out on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I was curious what exercise, if anything, he did on the other days of the week. It was probably about 6 weeks later on a Tuesday morning that I happened to spot him running on the stadium track, a beautiful black dog trotting faithfully by his side.
I began to get more and more curious about this guy. I noticed that he always came to the gym alone and NEVER spoke to anyone while he worked out. I watched as girl after girl tried to flirt with him and he simply ignored all of them. The gears in my head cranked to life---maybe he was gay!! Or, maybe he already had a girlfriend and he was extremely faithful to her. I wasn't sure. All I know is he came in to the gym three days a week, did his business, and left. I never saw him smile--not even one time.
Finally, my curiousity got the best of me and I followed him a few times after he left the gym--I swear I wasn't trying to stalk him, I was just curious about who he was. After he left the gym he would jog a short distance to a nearby street and up the driveway of a big brick house. I assumed that he lived in the house or maybe lived in an apartment inside of the house--possibly in the basement. I never saw anyone greet him as he went to the back of the house. Sometimes, I thought I could hear a dog barking when he disappeared behind the house--maybe it was the black dog I saw him running with. He seemed like a nice guy--I'm not sure how I knew that, but there was something about him--his aura, maybe--that let me know he was a good person.
I wanted to approach him on many occasions, but I chickened out each time. I guess the ghost of Zach was still haunting my head. I wasn't sure what I wanted from this mysterious guy--friendship, maybe something more?? Even though I had been broken up from Zach for some time, I still wasn't ready to stick my neck out there again. I didn't want to risk getting my heart broken a second time.
So--I watched him. Soon, my junior year of college was over and I was back home again for the summer. Nick, Tim, Clint, and I had sign another lease for the same house to live there again during our senior year. All summer long, my thoughts kept returning to my mystery guy. I really wanted to talk to him, and get to know him. For some reason, I felt it was important. I realized toward the end of the summer that he might not be returning to school--for all I knew he had graduated or maybe switched to another school. After I realized that, I promised myself that if he was back at school, I wouldn't let another opportunity pass me by. I promised myself that I would speak to him the first chance I got.
TO BE CONTINUED
Sooooo.....we've finally come full circle. We've met both Jaden and Lane and learned about each of their lives. Chapter one started with the very meeting that is promised here at the end of chapter six. Now we can finally get the story of Jaden and Lane going. I'm excited--how about you??
Also--we still have that cliffhanger from chapter 4 to deal with. Did Jaden leave to go home or did he stay to talk with Lane?? I guess we'll finally be finding out soon. Please stick with me.
Be on the lookout for chapter 7--I'm writing as fast as I can.
FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK---this is lifeblood for us writers, so please drop me a quick line.
Remember, I have a new e-mail address. Use: jaden.scott@adelphia.net Thanks, Jaden.