Loves Given Up on Me

Disclaimer: I didn't use the HTML format this time but the story is still the same. Well you know that this story has a homosexual nature, so if you don't want to read it, then don't. I'm starting out a little slow but things like this don't just happen over night. Hope you like. Loves given up on me- Part 1: chapter 3- There's still tomorrow

LOGAN

My eyes blinked open as the sun filtered into the room. I rolled my head in my pillow and tried to wake myself up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My sheet was bunched at my feet, considering that the heat still sizzled even at night. My feet hit the carpet, me still sitting on my bed, my mind still fresh from the dream that had burned itself into my memory. It had only been a few days since me and Ethan had hung out, but I was already having dreams about him. Nothing sexual, not in the slightest, but more like we were almost best friends and every moment was spent in each other's company. But what was it all supposed to mean? Then I remembered seeing his face, I remembered how the light shown over it. How beautiful he was. And I became entranced just in the thought. What the hell was going on? He was straight. He implied it that night we went to the club. But still, was I infatuated with him? He was the only friend I had here on campus and I'd seen more of him than I did Scott or Adam. And with the 2 weeks I had here, he sure did make me feel comfortable. I scratched my head. I'll have to worry about this later. I got Chem Lab to get to.

I walked into the lab room and Dave, my lab partner, was already there. I took a seat next to him and folded my arms on the table and planted my face in them.

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked.

"Me? uhh... Nothing..." I said trying to act like everything was cool.

"Come on. Something's bugging you," he commented as he turned his seat towards me.

I paused and argued with myself. Might as well tell him. Talking to people always did seem to help.

"Well... I think I like someone, but... I'm not sure if I should even be liking this person. Plus I'm... not even sure if they like me." I looked at him eye to eye.

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah, so that's been bugging me," I scoffed, "I feel like I'm back in high school."

"Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. You don't wanna build on this 'crush' if in the end you're just gonna be wasting your time, right?"

"Yeah, something like that," I said smiling a little.

"Don't worry, you'll figure it out. Sure hope they're worth it if you're stressing this much about it."

I looked down at my hands, "I sure hope so."

Lab started and I could hardly pay attention. Thoughts about Ethan kept creeping up from the back of my mind. I couldn't seem to stop the steady flow. OK, so maybe I was infatuated. But I'd had crushes before,...but this was something else, something different, I could feel it. I mentally punched myself. Maybe it was just because it wasn't a girl I was crunching over. But it was something I couldn't brush off. I wanted to see him again, but I didn't want him to know. How the fuck was I gonna deal with this?

ETHAN I tied my shoes and hopped off my bed. OOUCH!! My muscles screamed as I walked into the kitchen. For the past few days I had been busy with my Tae kwan do training. I spent almost all my free time with Christian or Derek trying to help perfect myself for the tournament coming up in a few months. So I was being worked like nothing else. I guess I needed it. I'd been slacking for the past few weeks. I gently walked into the kitchen.

"Dude, you're walking like an old man," Terrance said.

"Yeah, well I feel like one. I'm sore as hell," I replied grabbing a banana for breakfast along with my bag.

"T, you don't mind taking me to class? My ass hurts too much to skate to camps."

He laughed. I'll admit it did sound a little sexual.

"Yeah dude. Hold up. Let me get my shit ready and we'll go."

I walked onto campus and as I walked through the courtyard I heard my name yelled out. I looked around and then behind me. Logan came jogging up. I watched his pace slow as reached me. He sported some faded cargo shorts, a compliment to the heat and a white t-shirt, with his hair tasseled as usual. He looked like he had gotten up, showered and threw on some clothes on. I kinda laughed considering that's how I am on some of my off days.

"Hey Ethan, what's up?" his smile the brightest thing on him.

"Oh, nothing, going to class. You?"

"I just got out of my Chemistry lab. I was gonna go buy a soda and head off to English."

I smiled wickedly, knowing all too well that English class blew. He laughed under his breath.

"Haven't seen you around lately," he said. I noticed the little trace of distress in his voice. I guess I did leave him hanging the other night. I'm sure that wasn't the friendliest thing to do.

"Yeah," I said as I shook my head, "Sorry about that. It's just I'm training for a martial arts competition, so I'm spending a lot of my time training."

"Cool," he said, pasting a smile on his face again. I couldn't help but feel bad for not talking to him for a while. I guess me being a new friend and then all of a sudden going AWOL made me feel even more like jerk. "Tell you what," I pulled out my wallet and looked for something expendable. All I ended up having was a dollar bill. What the hell. I yanked the pen I had from my jean pocket and wrote down the apartment number. "Ok, here's my number. If we can't hang out at least we can talk." I handed the dollar to him as a smile formed on the corner of his lips. "Thanks man," he said as he slipped it into his pocket. We talked as we walked, taking our time as I told him about my sore state. He told me what he was up to, how much of an ass his roommate still was and what was going on since our last visit. Some people casually stared at us. Probably wondering why two guys so different were even talking to each other. We came to Logan's class building and he stopped talking. Things went silent for maybe a few seconds as he just stood there and shuffled his feet. Stupid as it sounded, it was cute. He finally spoke up.

"Well, here's my class. I guess I'll see you later then? Or maybe I'll give you a call?"

I nodded my head, "Sounds good."

"Cool," he grinned again and it made me feel better, not so guilty and a little less sore.

He jogged up the stairs and looked back a few times. My class was less than a block away so I started my rough trek to be on time. The stairs were gonna kill me. The ache in my muscles slowly returned as Logan trotted off and was gone. For the strangest reason he always made me feel relaxed, like there was nothing to worry about. I guess him being bigger than I was gave me a sense of protection, even though I could easily take care of myself and probably kick HIS ass. But I liked the feeling none the less. I guess that's why it was so easy to go places with him. I didn't feel the need to impress or hide anything. I hoped we become good friends. As my thought's drifted from him the soreness hit with a vengeance. How many more steps?

LOGAN

English class was a complete yawn. If Scott hadn't been there I think I would've just slept right through it. The professor's monotone was worse than Nyquil. I had my face in my textbook as Scott continued to poke my cheek with his pen.

"Logan, get you're ass up," he whispered harshly.

I turned my head and faced him, my head still in the book.

"I'm up," I said lightly as his attention turned back to the lecture as he smirked at me.

I guess I'd be thanking him later. But sleeping or not, all I had on my mind was that unit or currency I had in my pocket, the dollar bill with Ethan's number inked into it. I wanted to pull it out, if only to just know that it was still there and hadn't mysteriously disappeared. But I knew that if Scott ever caught a glimpse he'd be asking a million questions just to know whose number it was. I guess I'll just have to be patient until I get back to the room.

"Ok class, I'll see you all next week," the professor said as he closed his textbook.

Finally, I thought this moment would never come. I quickly closed my drool stained textbook and shoved it into by backpack. Scott on the other hand took his time.

"Hey, me, Adam and a few of the other guys are gonna go out for dinner. You gonna come?"

I stopped packing and looked over at him, obviously expecting an immediate answer. Besides Scott and Adam, I really didn't feel like I was friends with the rest of the team, like they accepted me just because I was second quarterback. Besides, all they ever wanted to do was drink until they blacked out. Personally, I had better ways to waste my time.

"Uhh... you know what? I think I'll pass."

"Ok," he didn't seem at all bothered that I declined his invitation.

"It's ok Logan, they're making me and Adam go. But you got other plans?"

He raised an eyebrow at me as he pulled his backpack over his shoulders.

"Uhh, yeah."

Well I did, kinda. After I called Ethan we'd see if I had plans or not.

"So... what is it you got planned that's so much better than a free meal?"

"Well..."

I didn't say anything but shrugged my shoulders and gestured that I had 'stuff' planned.

"Ok..." he said smirking, suggesting that it was something sexual I had arranged.

"I'll tell Adam and the others you made other 'plans', I'm sure they'll understand," he commented, emphasizing 'plans.'

I hung my head in mock shame and laughed, "Ok."

Walking out of the building we parted ways.

"See ya tomorrow at practice," Scott said as he waved and jogged towards the parking lot. I took a few steps backwards and watched him leave. If he ever found out, would he still be my friend? It bothered me that I had to hide something like this from him. If he really was my friend he should understand. I finally turned back around and walked back to my dorm. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the crisp dollar bill. God Ethan, I hope you're worth all this.

I lay on my bed staring at the dollar bill. I stared at the numbers as my mind contended on whether I should call or not. I wanted to call. I was board in the room. Terry would be coming back from class any minute and I was trying to avoid him at all cost. Plus my lovesick attitude towards Ethan was beginning to get the best of me. But then again I didn't want to sound intrudingly desperate. I let the numbers etch themselves into my memory as I took note of his penmanship. Not neat, but nice enough for a guy. I'd been staring at this thing way too long. I got off my bed and grabbed the phone. I dialed the number with shaky fingers. The ring tone sounded as I waited for someone to pickup. The phone clicked as Ethan's voice echoed in my ear. "Yeah?"

"Hey Ethan, it's Logan."

"Hey dude, what's up?"

I started pacing, "Oh nothing, just board, wondering whatyou were up to later."

"Uhhh." I heard in my ear which made my stomach turn into a knot, "I'm still feelin' like crap and I'm thinking about just going home."

"You're not at home?" I said remembering that he said he gave me his home number.

"No, I'm here at the dojo. If no one picks up at the apartment it forwards to my cell phone."

"Oh cool," I said trying to keep my tone as nonchalant as possible.

"Well sounds like you need some rest so I better let you go."

I was about to end the call when Ethan said something that wasn't a good-bye, "Well, why don't you come over? I'm sure we can watch a movie and chow on some junk food." If Ethan would've seen my face he'd have laughed. It shocked me. Taken by surprise I asked, "You sure? Your friends don't mind?"

"Nah, they're in Phoenix. Dead

drunk I'll bet," he said it with a

mocking tone to his voice. I just

laughed.

"Sound good?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Ok then. Sooo... Around 8 then?"

"Yeah, but just one problem. I dunno where you live," I said with a little worry in my voice.

"Oh yeah, well it's not that far. I skate to school remember?"

Even though he gave me the directions, I still didn't easily know my way around off campus. So he told me to look for landmarks until I found my way to an apartment complex. If all else fails, I could still call him. I hung up, excitement and fear mixed in the pit of my gut. I didn't know what to expect but I started this so couldn't back off now.

I looked at my watch. It was 7:43 and the sun was fading. I walked down the sidewalk until I came to a curb and there was the apartment complex like Ethan had told me. Ok, this was just two friends hanging out. There was nothing special about it.

The gate was locked and needed a code for entry. So I sat on the curb and waited, not knowing at all what to do or expect. It was about 8:10 when Ethan rounded the bend jogging in a pair of faded jeans and a snug t-shirt. I stood up and whipped off the back of my jeans. He jogged up to me and stopped at my side. Being so close I couldn't help but take a whiff of the aroma that radiated off him. He smelled like he had been working all day long. He didn't smell bad, but he smelled like an intoxicating mixture of sweet and salty. It was a good idea not to get too close as my crotch found the smell almost too irresistible.

"Been waiting long?"

I shook my head trying in vain to forget his sent, "10 minutes."

"Ok, cool, sorry still. I had to run from the dojo and I skipped my shower."

"Oh, you still sore?" I asked letting my concern show.

"Yeah, but I had no choice in running."

He put in the code on the dial pad and gate started to roll open. We walked in across a parking lot and up some stairs. He opened the door and the cool air rushed out. I stepped in after Ethan. The place was small, but they werecollege students. The dinning room table was next to the door and Ethan tossed his keys on it. I walked in a couple more steps, admiring the place. I turned to see Ethan raise his hand to the visor of his cap and begin to lift it off. He was looking down as the cap came completely off. My heart skipped a beat and my breath quickened for a few seconds at what I saw. He had hat hair, which was natural, wisped in all directions, black but brown in the fading sunlight and soft from the look of it. He had long eyelashes, which was all I could see because he was still looking down. His lips were a deep pink and moist from all the Chap Stick he always used. My eyes scanned down and traced his jaw line as it perfectly framed his face, the light stubble of a day's growth adding a dashing characteristic.

He looked up at me and I finally saw his eyes in perfect light, a clear coffee brown as I stared deeper and deeper. He wasn't beautiful, he was gorgeous. If I'd had my jaw open he didn't seem to notice.

"Well the DVD's are in my room. Can't trust people these days," and motioned to the door behind me. I snapped back to ugly reality, but still dazed by him. I walked into his room behind him.

"Over there on the self." "I see 'em," I said as I walked over slowly and began thumbing through the cases. Ethan threw his bag on the floor and walked over to the closet and pulled out a towel. I looked up and watched as he very slowly lifted his shirt off. I guess he was really that sore. I watched, entranced by the contrast of his white shirt against the clear caramel color of his skin. I was staring again. I was spellbound as his shirt revealed more and more of his back until it came completely off. I watched as each muscle in his back tense and then relax, his traps, delts, shoulders. I took note of the crease of his spine and it hit me, I really liked him. Not like a friend should. Still having his back to me he said, "I'm gonna take a shower. Go ahead and pick a movie. I'll be quick." He grabbed his towel and disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door. What was happening to me? Or what was he doing to me? These feelings were all new and I knew they were because of him. I looked back down at the movies and continued thumbing through them.

ETHAN

It was 7:46 as I left the dojo. I didn't have my board and no one was home to pick me up. I was late and didn't want to keep Logan waiting outside on the sidewalk. I took a deep breath as I knew my only option was to go for a little jog. I made a resentful face, I was still sore and this was gonna hurt. I took another deep breath and my first stride.

I got to the apartment in only 10 minutes late. And as I expected Logan was outside sitting on the curb with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms, lightly kicking at the gravel on the pavement. I jogged up to him and apologized. His eyes showing that he wasn't the least bit bothered in having to wait. He seemed more concerned with how I was doing contending with the soreness I had this morning.

We got to the apartment and I lead him in. He walked in a little surprised. I wasn't sure about whether the place was too small for 4 guys or big compared to his dorm room. I smiled and threw my keys on the table and took off my cap. My hair was a mess, but it didn't matter. I was gonna take a shower anyways. I had to skip it at the gym because of the rush I was in to get here. I looked up at Logan, who looked like a deer caught in a headlight. I knew what he was looking at, but I wasn't sure if he liked what he saw, so I acted like it didn't bother me

I tried to change the mood of the situation, leading him into my room. Even though he did make me feel comfortable, I still didn't like people looking at me.

He looked busy going through the movies while I decided that I really, really needed a shower. The hot water would definitely help sooth some of the dull ache. I pulled out a towel and for a moment forgot he was in the room and began to peel off my shirt. My muscles screamed at me as I raised my arms and as the shirt came off and over my head. God I smelt rank. I flung it to the floor and kicked off my shoes. It was then that I remembered that Logan was in the room. I held my breath and panicked a little. I was shy, but with Logan around that shyness multiplied ten times over. I didn't even turn to look at him, but I knew I felt him looking at me.

"I'm gonna take a shower. Go ahead and pick a movie. I'll be quick," I said as I dodged out of the room with my towel into the bathroom.

I closed the door and relaxed a little. For a guy that I usually felt comfortable around, tonight was sure shaping out to be a strange one. I hope it changed. I turned the water on and adjusted the temperature. I put my towel on the rack and undid my pants and let them and my jock fall to my ankles. I was too sore to bend down and free my feet so I stepped and pulled my feet out of them. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water hit my neck. God it felt good. The tension slowly began to retreat. I positioned myself under the shower head, so my hands were against the tile wall and my head bowed so the water sprayed down my back. I let out a low long groan as my muscles began to melt from the heat. I brought my right hand up and began massaging my neck. And for the first time in a long time, I imagined that my hands were someone else's. For some odd reason, I imagined strong, callused hands massaging my neck and shoulders. They worked their way down my bicep and back up to my neck. I groaned weakly as I repositioned myself, now having my back to the shower head as both hands roamed my upper body. One needed my pecs while the other brushed my abs, feeling the ripples and tracing its way down and across my bellybutton. I let it brush the hairs below it and then run through my pubic patch. With the palm of my hand I rubbed the length of it down, all 7 and half inches of it. My left hand was now tweaking my nipple. Wow, I haven't done this in a long time. My right hand finally grabbed around my tool and I slowly started jerking, letting my fingers rub over the sensitive head as my breath quickened as well as my pace. I felt my balls twitch as I tortured my nipple even harder. I knew I was cumming as I let out a light moan that scarcely echoed. My cock spewed spurt after spurt onto the tile wall as my mind slowly rebooted. My cum going down the drain before I opened eyes in awe. The entire time I imagined it was someone else draining me with their hands, someone with big, strong hands. Hands that oddly felt familiar.

I stepped out of the shower and proceeded to dry off. My mind kept going back to my experience. Where did that come from? I wrapped my towel around my waist and opened the door as the steam billowed into the hallway. I walked back into my room and stopped, frozen. Logan was still there, his back to me. He was looking at the pictures and trophies I had on my wall and selves above my desk. He finally noticed I was there and turned to look at me. I felt the blood rush to my face as I knew I was bare in front of him. He looked for a moment then turned his head quickly, like he was avoiding eye contact. What was up with him today? The other times it felt like I could just chill with him, now it felt unnerving. Maybe it's because I was naked in a towel. But then having eyes on me did make me flushed and almost intimidated. But it was Logan... Logan who was looking at me. As uncomfortable as I was, I just stood there, soaking the carpet as the water dripped off me. Why did all these strange feelings surface when he was around?

LOGAN

I finally picked out a movie. Well it was more like playing 'eeni-meeni- minie-mo.' I couldn't concentrate worth crap! The look of his skin, soft and bright caramel in color, I could almost feel it as I pictured it in my mind. The way his muscles flexed underneath and how my blood raced when I saw him. OK, my homosexual side was definitely taking over on overdrive here. But what was I supposed to do?

I looked at the floor far a little bit then looked up at the walls and noticed he had pictures framed some of his family and some of him. On his shelf he had a few trophies, skateboarding competitions and karate awards. I looked at his room and all I could think of was 'this is a guy's room. He's nothing more that a guy.' As I finished admiring his achievements the bathroom door swung open and Ethan came out with nothing but a towel. I turned to look at him. Someone could've shot me, and I wouldn't have cared. What I saw I doubt I'd ever forget. He stood there and looked like he was a little embarrassed, clinging to his towel making his muscles flex again. His chest was perfectly shaped, powerful and smooth. He had small nipples only slightly darker that his skin. His abs were ripped and apparent. Form his shoulders to his forearms were defined and toned. He had next to no hair on his upper body, only that trail that made its way out of the towel. My eyes were entranced as the water droplets rolled off his body. I fallowed one as it traced its way from his sternum down until it disappeared into the towel. And for the first time I wondered what was hidden underneath. Before I could start drooling I turned away.

"I guess I better let you get dressed huh?"

Looking up and smiling weakly at him. He smiled back uncomfortably and nodded.

"Yeah, uhh... the DVD player is in the living room. Did you find a movie?"

"Yeah," I said, flashing the case.

I walked out and smelt him as I passed. He smelt clean, like cologne soap but still very much like a man. It was then that I noticed I was hard and mounting in my shorts. SHIT! I mouthed it as I entered the living room. I prayed that he didn't see it. It was kinda hard to notice in baggy shorts but still.

I got the movie ready as I waited. He finally walked out, dressed comfortably. He had on a black t- shirt with some logo on it, a pair of casual Levi's, no socks, no shoes. When I saw him all I could think about was what he was doing to me. He sat on the couch next to me and I got another good look at him. This time his hair was damp so it shagged right below his eyebrows. Could he be anymore perfect? I just wanted to touch him right there. Run my hands through his hair, feel his skin under my fingers. Then I felt the impulse to kiss him. What the Fuck? Where was this coming from? Before I even had time to think about it he looked up at me and spoke.

"You like butter popcorn? Cuz it's all we get here."

Well that was random. I stared waiting for it to process.

"Yeah," I said, knowing I was a little late in answering him.

"Gotcha," he said as he jumped up and over the couch. He got to the microwave and threw in a bag. I sat turned and watched him. He saw me and gave me a cheesy smile.

"I don't know how to cook," laughing under his breath. He was perfect.

When the popcorn was ready he poured it into a bowl and came back to the couch. We were next to each other with only a bowl between us. It took a while to completely get into the movie, but I finally got my mind off of him. We laughed and made smart remarks about bad acting and equally bad directing. Our hands did touch a little for split seconds, it made me burn on the inside as it looked like Ethan just chose to ignore the contact. By the end the popcorn was gone along with the coke we brought out later. I sighed as it seemed that my consciousness was running away from me too. It'd been a long week and sleep sounded great about now.

Ethan yawned, "I think it's time to call it a night."

"Yeah, I think you're right, I'd better get going."

He got up and took the bowl and cans back to the kitchen. While I was putting my shoes back on, he walked into his room and came back out with his shoes and socks.

"Hey dude, I'll walk with ya."

Why was he being so nice? I didn't understand. My mind couldn't discern from the things he was doing as a friend and the things that made me think twice. But then again, I still wanted to be near him.

"Cool," I said nodding my head.

He finished putting his shoes on and grabbed his board and we both walked out the door. We took out time as we walked back to campus. He didn't wear his hat but it was still hard to see him, considering how dark it was outside. We talked about the usual stuff as we strolled up to my dorm building. I didn't want the night to end, I felt almost broken to leave. But I put on my straight face as he waved and skated away. Even though I wasn't with him, I still liked the feeling he left. I felt like I connected with someone. And I know that I liked him more than ever. Even though it was a stupid dream, I still wanted him to like me the way I liked him. I turned and walked up the steps. I wonder what dream I was gonna have tonight.

ETHAN

"Well I guess I'll see ya tomorrow. You gonna call?" I said, for the strangest reason hoping he'd say yes.

"Yeah for sure."

"Ok, well I better get back, it's pretty late. So gimmie a call ok? Later."

I waved and I skated off. I looked back at him, walking up the step alone. I'm sure he had other people he'd rather spend his time with, but what could make me so special? I'll admit, I did like his company, and it seemed like he liked mine.

I shook my head and focused back on getting home. It was a little breezy out and the nights were getting colder. The feeling was kind of new, having the wind in my hair. So far tonight turned out pretty good, even though it started out awkward. I don't know why but I just felt like I shouldn't hide from him. Like I knew he'd understand me. Why did he make me feel so strange? Like a warm feeling that I couldn't get enough of. But then the shocked images of how he looked at me came back. I still don't know why he stared. It didn't matter if it was Logan, it still felt uncomfortable.

I got back to the house and threw off my clothes and crawled into bed. I dreamt and let the warm feeling take over.

End chapter 3- There's still tomorrow

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