Loves Given Up On Me 5

pt1chapter5

Disclaimer: this story is of a homosexual nature. If you don't want to read it, then don't.

Chapter 5- Blue and Yellow

*LOGAN*
I ran up the stairs to Ethan's apartment and practically held myself back from banging the door down. I ran the entire way and was surprised that I didn't feel at all tired. I knocked lightly and waited for Ethan to open the door. I was about to open my mouth when the door swung open and Jeff stood there in the doorway. The light filtered out of the room as he stood there eating a sandwich. He whipped his hand off on his jeans and held it out.

"Hey Logan," he said with a mouth full of food.

"Hey Jeff, is Ethan home?"

Still chewing he shook his head and gestured me to come it. I walked in as he swallowed his food.

"Nope, he's not here."

I sulked my head and let out deep sigh as I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt off my head.

"He got back about an hour ago, and the fool took off with my truck."

I looked back up at him. Did he say what I thought he said?

"Really?!"

"Yeah, ended his date pretty early and then just left again."

I stepped closer to him

"Do you know where he went?"

"No," he said. I could have strangled him for not knowing. I was about to ask Jeff if he was sure when a voice echoed from the other end of the room.

"I do."

I turned around to see Terrance putting on his coat and pulling his keys out of his jacket pocket.

"I know where he is. Come on Logan, I'll give you a lift."

I sat in the passenger side watching all the lights flash by as we drove out of the city. The night was clear and all the stars were out. I continued to stare out the window when I asked, "So where's he at anyways?"

Terrance concentrating on the road looked over at me.

"Oh, just a place he likes to go to think and get things off his chest."

"Oh," I said looking back out the window.

He finally turned off the freeway onto a road that led into the mountains. As we drove we passed a sign that said, 'SCENIC VIEW.'

"We're almost there," Terrance said, turning on his brights.

We swerved up the hillside when Terrance broke the silence, "So... you gonna tell him?"

I looked over at him a little less surprised than I should've been. He already knew? It really didn't matter now. He smiled, showing sincerity and concern. I looked away.

"I dunno."

"Logan, he needs to know how you feel. I can sense it... but whatever you do ... make him happy..."

The car stopped and he pointed through the windshield. I saw the truck but he was no where around. I opened the door and got out. Terrance leaned over the seat, "Tell him."

I nodded, "I will, thanks."

I shut the door and he drove off, tail lights headed back downhill. I turned and faced the truck. It was dark and I could barley make out the color. But as I walked closer I noticed Ethan wasn't there. I walked around and noticed a trail that led to a shaded look-out a ways off.

*ETHAN*
I sat there and stared as the brightness of the city began to hurt the retina of my eyes. I looked up at the sky, the stars were out again and the moment almost seemed perfect mixed with the cool night air. I zipped the front of my sweatshirt up. I felt now that I could almost relax. I thought about the date I had with Beth. I cringed. It went horribly. Of all the dates I'd gone on nothing ever went wrong, except in this one. I took a deep breath and looked back over the city, panning it. I let me mind wander as my body went into autopilot. It was then that I thought I heard footsteps, crunches in the gravel. I heard my name, "Hey Ethan."

The voice was timid and not at all intruding. I swung around and saw a large guy in baggy jeans and a sweat shirt. As he walked closer into the light I recognized him.

"Logan?"

I was almost amazed to see him. But how'd he get here?

"How'd you find me?"

A smile glowed on his face, warm and heartfelt as he walked around the bench and sat a couple of feet away from me.

"Terrance," he said, a trace of thanks in his voice. I guess all my secrets were coming out. But I wondered. Why did Terrance bring him here? He never tells anyone about this place and why did Logan come out of his way to see me? All theses questions and all I could muster was a simple, "Oh."

But Logan was my friend. I guess I could trust him with my secret place. I looked back out over the city view.

"This is where I come to sort things out, kinda... get away for a little bit."

I looked at him as he almost seemed worried. He then smiled dimly, looking over the view.

"It's a cool place."

It was then that I remembered my promise with him. I was so worried about myself that I forgot to call him. Guilt washed over me.

"Sorry I didn't call you... I told you I would."

He leaned forward into a comfortable position. I almost thought he'd be mad.

"It's ok. I wasn't in the room anyways."

He smiled and that assured me everything was still ok. He was there with me and I couldn't help but smile and laugh. He gave me a look of 'what?' But soon whipped it off and asked, "So how'd the date go?"

My laughter cut back into my throat as the memory flooded back in vivid detail. It was depressing really. But ...I had something I needed to tell him. I wasn't sure if it was the smart thing to do, but I felt like I had to. I leaned forward to match his position, putting my weight on my elbows and resting them on my knees. Ok, here goes. I took a deep breath and looked at him. He stared at me, desperate. Like he was hanging on words I hadn't even said yet.

"The truth?"

I looked back over the view and softly said, "bad."

It looked as if he was holding his breath and he finally let it go. His muscles seemed to loosen as I watched him as he let out a mutter, "really?"

Still frowning I shook as I replied, "Yeah, that's why I cut if off early. I mean I talked about things she wasn't interested in and joke she didn't get. We went to places she didn't like...and..."

Just the thought of it made my self confidence wither. I couldn't look at him any longer.

"... and I thought about how we always talk about everything, the inside jokes we make and how we can go anywhere and still have fun."

My last words rolled out of my mouth as I tried to make eye contact. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the moments we shared, apparently he couldn't help himself either. My smile faded as I began to muster my strength. I had to tell him something. I had to tell him before it ate me alive. I stuttered as my stomach went to knots.

"The whole time I was with her..."

I began to stutter, bad. My mind went blank as he stared at me, ... intriguingly. I forced myself to go on, swallowing the lump in my throat. Moment of truth.

"...I, I whished the whole time that... I was on a date with you instead."

The pressure released almost instantly. It was true. The entire time I thought about him there with me instead, almost like he had to be there so I could be myself.

I took another deep breath. He was gonna hate me for saying this.

"I don't know what this feeling is but... I know that I just have to be with you all the time."

I finally took notice of his expression. I couldn't tell if he was shocked, stunned, amazed... or angry. He just stared at me, and that made me uneasy. But all I could do was stare back. All I could think about was how strangely warm this feeling felt, a feeling of need. He had to know that I felt something, unidentifiable, but definitely something. And I begged him in my mind, like he could hear me, 'tell me, tell me you feel something, that it's not just me.' The look on his face finally broke as he said my name.

"Ethan."

He said it with a tone I'd never heard before, a feeling of almost want in it. But I was still unsure.

"The truth..."

I watched his eyes glaze over as I could almost feel a swell of emotion resonate form him.

"I need you,... I need you so bad it scares me."

That was it. All my insecurities fled from me. All this time being alone, avoiding exactly this. Now I understood. If you're looking for happiness, you'll never find it... it finds you when you not looking at all. And I found him, the one person that made the search worth it. Right in front of me and the thought never crossed my mind. But he was a guy. It didn't make sense. I wasn't gay... but then again, why him? Then I thought about the feeling. Never had I felt like this before and never before had it been as strong as it was right now. It burned, and right now right through my chest, and all I could do was try to work a smile

*LOGAN*
"I don't know what this feeling is but... I know that I just have to be with you all the time."

I never thought I'd ever hear those words coming from him. I didn't know what to think. My mind shot in all directions. I couldn't form the words. I tried to say something but nothing came out. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to be with him. That he was all I thought about. But all I could do was stare into his eyes as the light bounced off them and glared into mine. They burned into me almost begging me say something, anything. I got the lump out of my throat and forced my feelings out.

"Ethan,... the truth..."

He looked at me, vulnerable. He'd just told me what I'd been waiting for. And he needed now for me to confirm it.

"I need you,... I need you so bad it scares me."

His eyes widened as he tried to form a smile, but I could tell the emotion was getting to him, as it was with me. He was now turned towards me as I scooted over closer and put my hand over his. He looked down at my hand then back at me. I was now next to him and I could feel his hand shaking beneath mine. I could tell he was nervous, I was too. But what I was feeling was so much stronger. I raised my other hand to his face and cupped his cheek. I felt the stubble of a day's growth as it fired the nerves in my palm and fingers which sent a shock back to my brain. I don't know for how long I just wanted to feel his face. My hand went higher until my fingers tips reached the band of his cap. I took the visor in my grasp and lifted it off his head. As it came off I watched as the moon and city lights began to cover his face from under the shadows, from his chin to his forehead. His hair was up. hat hair looked good on him. I finally got to see him up close. I put his hat down on the bench and brought my hand back to his face. I skimmed it with the backs of my fingers and let the image carve itself into permanent memory. He closed his eyes as I drew my hand around and held his chin. He looked up at me, those brown eyes, big and open, looking only at me.

"Why do you where that thing?"

The corner of his lips curved to almost make a smile.

"You're beautiful."

His eyebrows gently rose and a look of inquiry came over his face. He tried to turn away but I still had his chin in my fingers. I leaned forward, slowly tilting my head as I began to feel his breath on my lips. As I continued to lean forward I could feel his heat. We finally made contact, gently letting our lips touch. I tried to relax as my mind welt AWOL. His lips were warm and soft. He tasted sweet, like toothpaste and sugar, but still bold like a man. I pulled away only inches from his face and opened my eyes. I could see that he was shaking.

*ETHAN*
I felt the warmth of his palm of my cheek. It was him! All those times I imagined his hands touching me. I knew it was him, the 'someone' in my dreams. I began to tremble knowing that it was all too much to swallow.

With my hat down on the bench he seemed to just stare at me, why did we always find ourselves like this.

"Why do you wear that thing?"

I blushed a little. I knew why, but I didn't feel like telling him. I didn't want him to see me with insecurities.

"You're beautiful."

Logan, why did you say that? I couldn't look at him. I tried to turn as my childhood memories like a tidal wave crashed into my head, but my chin was still in his grasp.

I watched in slow motion as his mouth came closer to mine. I didn't move but just let happen what would happen. I closed my eyes as the warmth of his lips brushed against mine. I felt a tingle in my spine as we finally let our lips touch. The taste was new to me. Naturally sweet mixed with a bold flavor that was all him. Was this what I wanted? The feeling was incredible, but I was scared. He pulled away and for a moment. My breath and my body missing him already. I didn't want him to stop. I opened my eyes to watch him open his. I was shaking and I knew he felt it. Looking worried he leaned forward a bit and wrapped his arms gently around me, mine tenderly wrapped around him.

"You scared?" he said, his voice flooded with worry as his hand held my face.

I looked up at him, the soft glow of the city highlighting the features of his face as I really looked at how handsome he was. It was then that I really got to see him, past the portrait of a friend he always carried. His ice blue eyes as they pierced me. Almost taking me in, filled with concern, hope, maybe even love. And I could see in them that he wanted me, and I knew now that I wanted him... he came looking for me and I knew that his concern stretched far beyond friendship. Then I realized, 'it was Logan.' Same as always. I just never noticed it. The warm feeling flooded back into my chest as it burned a hole deeper. I smiled at him with new light and brought my fingers to his face and traced his jaw line. The sighed and closed his eyes gently. That seemed to relax him.

"Not anymore," I whispered.

And I wasn't. I knew now what I wanted. And he was looking back at me with the same look. His reassuring smile glowed as he leaned forward again. I knew what was coming... and I met him half way. I felt him crash into me. Feeling his lips on mine was almost alien, never before had I felt or tasted anything like it... I was lost.

The kiss was harder and fiercer than the first. It felt almost natural kissing him, like everything that had happened set us up for this moment. And I never wanted it to end. I slowly parted my teeth as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I never really kissed a guy so I had no idea what to expect. I did what I thought he'd like. I let the tip of my tongue touch his. He let out a moan almost like he'd been dying for this. Our tongues massaged one another and he continued to moan, my breathing getting heavy. I couldn't help but feel inexperienced. I hoped he liked this as much I thought I did.

I let the taste of him soak into my mouth, I was intoxicated. But I felt that I needed more. I let my hands explore a little as they left the bench and began to feel up his arms. What he lacked in tone, he made up for in mass. His arms were bulked and his biceps were huge. So this was what it was like kissing a guy. A guy I felt like I could kiss forever, even if I was a novice at it.

I let one of my hands go further until I stopped at his shoulder. His callused hand on my face held me gently to his mouth, and then moved over my neck and into my hair, massaging the back of head and suddenly pulling my face harder into his, more of his tongue filling my mouth. All I could do was squeeze his shoulder. The mass beneath his clothes and skin was like steel but relaxed as I dug my fingers into it. I suddenly felt him pulling more of my body into his as he reached around my lower back. I let him pull me closer to him, letting him close the gap between us, as I felt his chest against mine, solid and strong, not at all unwelcome. I felt his heart pound as he kissed me harder, our faces so close it almost became hard to breathe. I really didn't notice as the intoxication was almost unbearable. I felt faded and practically floating as I pulled my lips from his. I was breathing hard as his hand still cupped my face... and he just stared at me. This time it didn't scare me or make me uneasy. I felt wanted, sought after, desired even.

His hand continued to caress my face as he said serenely, "God you're beautiful."

I let those words repeat over in my mind as I memorized the look on his face as he said it. Did he really mean it? It was hard to doubt him with the way his eyes promised me that every word was true. If he thought I was, I guess it was good enough for me. I was tired of hiding, at least from him. I smiled and it seemed to say, 'compliment accepted.' He smiled back and looked at me a moment longer.

"Ethan, what you do to me."

*LOGAN*
He tasted better than any dream I could've imagined. I gently forced my tongue into his mouth, amazed at how it all felt. The kiss was harder that before as his tongue wrestled with mine. My hand still cupped around his cheek, and his hand firmly squeezing my shoulder muscle. I let my hand work its way off his jaw bone and down his neck and work its way up, letting my fingers tangle in his hair. It was soft, like I had always imagined. I let the fibers caress my fingers as I pulled his head harder into mine.

My other hand found its way around his lower back and slowly pulled him towards me. His kiss had me drugged as I poured all I had into kissing him back. Our bodies finally touched as we both gasped a little then let the heat of them mix. This was everything I wanted. The ache in my chest finally began to subside. I knew this was right. Everything I had longed for seemed completed with his kiss.

That was my last coherent thought as my mouth worked harder onto his. I was on a high, and I began to feel dizzy, the taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of him. The heat slowly calmed as he pulled his mouth from mine.

My eyes finally opened as I took deep rapid breathes. My vision finally began to focus. The dizzy feeling left as I noticed that it was probably lack of oxygen. He seemed a little out of breath too. My hand was still on his face. I hooked his chin and let my thumb rub his lips. I stared into his eyes, big and open, like gravity wells.

"God you're beautiful."

I watched his face go serious for a second and then wash away with a smile. That smile that always seemed to warm me. The ache was gone but, was replaced by a stronger need, a need to have him with me, always.

"Ethan, what you do to me."

*ETHAN*
He leaned in and we kissed again. His lips left mine as we just stared at each other. What was next? Sex?... no, I wasn't ready for that. Just kissing would take some time to get used to. We looked at each other with such want and all he could do was hold my hand tighter. I broke the glare and turned my attention back to the city lights. I felt his hand loosen a bit as he said my name with such worry, it almost had me falling apart.

"Logan..." I said, letting the fear roll our as well.

"What are we doing?"

I looked up at him. I always saw him as the big, strong, tough guy that wouldn't let anything get to him. Like pain didn't register... until now. I saw his lip quiver as I saw in his eyes, his world crashing down. I was crushing him. His hand almost fell out of mine as his grip vanished. Just watching this had my heart breaking. My fingers locked around his hand as I brought my other to his face to wipe the forming tears from the corners of his eyes.

Trembling he said, "Ethan? Don't you want me?"

His eyes glossy from the tears and his voice shaken. I had no idea how to handle him emotionally. I guess the truth would have to do. I began to shake, as he began to look a little more stricken. I gathered my words and locked my eyes with his.

"Logan,... I'm scared as fuck."

I sighed and felt like crying myself, "I'm afraid of what others will think."

I wiped his tears from his stubbly cheek, "But I'm not afraid of you... and I do know one thing. That I need you, and I didn't know that until now."

I laughed a little as his trembling calmed and his countenance changed from shattered to flooded with happiness.

"I'm so bad with words," I confessed.

He laughed a little also as we locked gazes again. This time he wiped his own tears and I felt the warmth of his hand again as grasped mine.

"Ethan, this is all I've wanted, to be with you. It killed me that I had to be next to you all this time and think that I couldn't have you."

I smiled a tiny bit and thought I was stupid. All this time I avoided this, and now, I didn't understand why. I looked at him again, his face ruggedly handsome as his crystal blue eyes filled me with assurance. And I knew I meant something to him. I was something to someone. But I was still scared shitless.

"Logan? What are we? What's next? I didn't want to go through this not knowing what's gonna happen... I, I've never done anything like this."

I began to tremble again, and this time he pulled me towards him. My face fell into the grove of his neck as I felt his breath in my hair, almost like he was taking in my scent. I relaxed and let his aroma fill me. He smelled of sweat and deodorant, and the surprising part was that I wasn't repulsed by it but rather let it sooth me. His grip was tight around me as I felt his muscles flex, like he was preparing for me to be ripped away from him. He was breathing hard as I felt his chest rise and fall.

"Ethan," he said, the emotion in his voice deep, "where we stand now, I don't think we can go any further."

I pulled away from him and looked at him puzzled. I didn't understand. His hand came up and cupped my cheek again.

"As friends, we can't do this."

When I heard this I wasn't sure what I should've felt; confused, rejected? But he was right. I tried to look away, but like before, his hand firmly held my face and he just looked at me, lost in his own gaze. I could see the emotion in them as he took a breath and slightly above a whisper said, "Ethan,... will you be my boyfriend?"

I looked at him, so exposed. I can't imagine all the strength it took to ask me. He was everything I'd been searching for. And to accept him, all I had to do was say yes. My mouth opened and quivered for a moment. He leaned forward a little, like his life depended on what would come out.

"Yeah," I barely breathed out.

He let out a few gasps, like he was almost about to cry or laugh. His arms went around me and his forehead met mine. His eyes opened and I brought my hand to his face and he rubbed his cheek into my palm. Why had I been so blind to him? And now when I looked at him, I saw everything.

"Your eyes are blue," I said, almost in amazement.

"You noticed," he said mockingly, but with none behind it.

"Yeah, my new favorite color."

Yeah, that was smooth. I smiled and he smiled back. And for the first time I let it melt me, from the inside out.

*LOGAN
We walked back to the truck and all I could do was smile at him when he looked at me. I was so happy I could barely contain myself. But I wasn't sure what to do. I never had a boyfriend before. And I knew for a fact that everything was new for him. I knew he was scared, but I knew he meant everything to me and I meant everything to him. I guess if it was something totally new for him and a little new for me, we'd learn together. But the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel uncomfortable. So as we walked up the stairs we didn't say anything. It had been minutes since I last touched him and already my body was dying to feel him next to me.

As we walked side by side I wanted to reach out and grab his hand but hesitation struck. No, he was too new at this. Give him some time and let him get used to it. I fought back the urge as the only thing I could do to appease myself was to look at him, as much as I could. Even under the dim glow of the city lights.

We go to the truck and Ethan stopped and just stood there with his head hung a little low. What was this? I walked slowly up to him and said his name as softly as I could. He sighed deeply and looked up at me, his eyes almost glowing from the reflection.

"So... We're going out then huh?"

"I think we are... do you?"

He nodded and I saw a tear throwing light into my eyes as it trickled down his face. I didn't want to see him unhappy. I took a step forward as an invitation and he threw his arms around me. I grabbed hold of him and held him tightly to me. He was trembling beyond belief. And I felt I had to protect him from whatever it was that was scaring him.

"Logan?..." barely making out my name.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me...tell me that you weren't just telling me things. That it wasn't just a line."

I hesitated for a minute. What did he want me to say? I felt him shaking and I knew I had the power in me to chase away his fears. I pulled away so that his face was only inches form mine.

"Ethan,... you're everything to me. You're all I think about, and I need you... more than ever."

I moved my face a little closer and brushed my lips against his. It slowly formed into a kiss as he gradually began to relax as his quaking subsided. We pulled apart. I just couldn't help but look at him.

"Logan, I don't know what this feeling is, but I don't want it to stop. And... and I know that you're the one that's making me feel this way."

I felt the same way... we kissed again. I took in his flavor and felt the warmth of his body, the night chill surrounding us both. His kiss, his touch, it was all too much. I was getting hard, and I knew he could feel it through my jeans,... because I could feel his. When it finally ended we walked to the truck. He got in the driver's side and I sat at the far end of the passenger side.

We started our drive back downhill and I got a little paranoid as the city lights faded at times and he fell out of view. I took a brave step and scooted over and sat next to him. He glanced from the road to me, a little off guard at first then relaxed as a little smile occurred. He let his right arm leave the steering wheel and slightly hesitant, put it around me. Damn my broad shoulders! He almost couldn't reach all the way. He looked a little scared for doing it, but I wanted him to. I grabbed his hand and pulled it around me neck across my chest and leaned my head over and rested it on his shoulder. I felt his muscles tighten as I looked at the reflection in the windshield. The muted glow from the radio showing me that he was happy, but this was going to take some getting used to. We listened to rock music all the way, nothing heavy but heartfelt.

We got to his apartment and pulled into the parking space. He cut the engine and we sat there in the dark. At this point it was my arm that was around him.

"What time is it?" he said, breaking the silence.

"I dunno, but I don't wanna go back to the dorm."

He turned and looked with an expression that could only be translated as 'really?'

"I... I.....I don't want you to go either," he stuttered.

My arm around him held him closer to me. The truck door swung open as we got out and walked to the apartment door. Neither of us touching as we made our way.

Inside the living room, standing there, I had no idea what to do. Ethan slowly unzipped the front of his sweatshirt and threw it around a chair. He had a white a white t-shirt on and could tell he'd been sweating. I looked him over and I let the thought sink in. He's my boyfriend, and I loved everything about him. Right down to his insecurities about us. To me he was perfect and I stared all the while. I began to realize that I had a problem with that.

As he looked up at me he asked, "You hot?" noticing my sweatshirt.

"Oh... yeah," I agreed, breaking from my trance. It was cold outside, but considerably warm in the room. I took off my pull-over. As I slipped it over my head my, shirt came off a little also, revealing my torso. I noticed that it caught Ethan's attention. After all those grueling hours in practice and weight training I was glad my abs got his attention. I slowly pulled my shirt down and just as slowly, walked up to him. The countenance on his face told me that he had no idea what he was supposed to do. My hands found their way to his waist and there they gently rested. My thumbs sliding up his shirt and running along the rim of his jeans until they met at his lower back. I pulled him into me, the need to taste him was excruciating. My lips found his as my appetite was appeased. The taste of his lips had me addicted, like a perfect drug.

He kissed me back as his hands gripped my shoulder blades through my shirt. I kissed him harder as my hands slowly left his jeans and my fingertips began their exploration of his back. As my fingers made contact with his skin it was like lightning. I moaned into his mouth amazed at the feel of him. The muscle underneath was solid. With my thumb at the edge of his abs and my hand around his sides, I lifted up his shirt. My nerves went AWOL at the feeling of his skin. I was hard and aching in a matter of seconds.

He broke the kiss as I think he knew what I was going to do next.

*ETHAN*
Kissing Logan; I could get used to this. He was everything I'd never felt in my arms before; strength, vigor, testosterone. And for the pass hour he was the only thing I wanted. I felt his hands on my back as he moaned into my mouth, his tongue fighting mine for dominance. Feeling his wide hands against my skin was something totally unexpected. But it only made me moan harder into his kiss. All those dreams I'd been having, imaging his hands feeling me over, now being awake and feeling it was almost too much to handle. They were hot working their way over my sensitive skin, callused against the smoothness of my sides. I noticed as his hands came up, my shirt was coming off as well. I shot my eyes open while still kissing him... He's gonna see me...

My body tensed a tiny bit as the fear crept back in, taking over all the warmth. The feeling was leaving. No, I didn't want it to go. I relaxed as I thought back to the scenic view. I remembered Logan looking me in the eyes. Those crystal blue orbs assuring me as he said, 'you're beautiful.' I let those words wash away the fears as I broke the kiss. I licked my lips, saturated with his flavor. He had a look of pleading in his eyes as I smiled trying not to let the nervousness show. I lifted my arms as his hands continued their journey upwards, burning my skin along the way. My shirt came over my head as I tossed it to the floor.

Logan's breathe quickened a bit as I stood in front of him. Nervous as I was, I didn't shake. I saw his eyes scan down and then up. The look in them didn't remind me of the distain or hatred that haunted me growing up. But he had a look of almost desire and it filled me. With the way he looked at me, I felt like I could truly relax.

*LOGAN*
Out of the corner of my eye I was his shirt as it hit the carpet. And I saw for the first time up close the images I reserved only for my dreams. His clear caramel skin was even and hairless as it tightly hugged the muscle underneath. My eyes traced his abs, circling the cut ridges as I made my way to his chest, rising as falling with every breath. I watched the cords of his neck tighten then loosen, and I took in his face once more. The only face that was ever present in my dreams. I hate to say pretty boy, but he was beautiful.

"You're gorgeous Ethan," I said almost a whisper.

He blushed a little as I touched his face.

I took a breath and said, "Remember that first day I came over?... and I... well, saw you,"

I looked at his body again.

"I never forgot about it... I ... I thought about you all the time."

He let out a sigh and smiled, "The truth Logan. I...I dreamt about you too."

I smiled and moved in for another kiss but I suddenly felt his hand press into my chest, stopping my advance.

"My turn," he said as a smirk crossed his face, "It's only fair I get to see you too."

I smirked back as I was about to unbutton the top of my polo when Ethan pulled my hands away. He smiled again as his hands took over. The top button fell loose, then the second. With his hands at my side I crossed my arms and peeled the polo from my body.

*ETHAN*
As his polo came off I saw the kind of body Logan really had. He was powerfully chested with abs rigidly hard from the look of it. His biceps were massive with broad shoulders. From his chest to down under the band of his underwear, he was dusted in light brown hair, the same light brown color of the hair on his head. He was all mass, definitely a die hard football player. But the more I looked at him, the more I found him attractive. He looked at me like a kid in the principle's office.

"So... what do you think?"

I smiled and looked back up at him, "I like what I see."

He grinned as he reached for me. His arms came around my back as he pulled me into another kiss, our tongues fighting for control with our lips locked. His left hand came around the back of my head as the other grabbed at my right ass cheek and pulled me up into him. My arms locked around his neck and waist as the space between us disappeared. His hand squeezed as I moaned a muffle. New feeling I guess. All the while the hair on his chest and abs electrocuted me as they brushed against my bare skin. I was overloaded. The feeling was beyond belief and I was hard beyond imaginable, but there had to be more.

I pulled away from him a little creating a sliver of space between us, but still connected at the lips. My hands came around slowly as they brushed the thin hair on his chest. Then letting my palms fall flat on his pecs. He moaned deep into my throat as the grip on my ass tightened. I kneaded the muscle below, softly at first then harder. It was massive and powerful from what I felt. My hands fell from his chest onto his abs. Under my touch they seemed to flex from the slightest stimulation. My fingers continued to fall until they snagged on the waist band of his jeans. My index and middle fingers snaked their way between the denim and thin fabric of his briefs, while my thumbs pinched the opposing ends of the button. My hands pulled apart as the button let go. The sudden release caused him to groan into me and let his hands meet on the waistband on my jeans below my back.

*LOGAN*
This was amazing and I was loving it. His hands finally touching me as lover's hands. I daydreamed of this moment for what felt like an eternity. His hands were like acid, leaving a burning, tingling trail as they made their way to the boarder of my jeans. I felt my jeans loose their grip around my waist. Before I knew it, my hands were around his waist, my thumbs hanging on the band of his jeans. They were loose, almost baggy. I brought my fingers up until they made contact with his back, and then one by one, slipped them into his pants. His moans got desperate as I felt the heat of the top of his ass through the cotton of his briefs.

I wasn't the only one working. I felt his hands in the groin area of my jeans, pulling at the denim. The wait was terrible, the longest unzipping of my life. It was a hushed sound as my jeans fell to my knees. My cock now a little more liberated, throbbed from all the stimulation that flowed from Ethan's body.

Still working on his mouth, my hands cupped and caressed his ass through his briefs. He was a magnet, his pull had me and I was trapped. My hands stuck to him like a second skin. And I had no intention of letting him go.

*ETHAN*
This was new, definitely new. His hands were hard and powerful as they massaged my ass cheeks. No one, absolutely no one had gone that far with me. Before this I usually didn't let people touch me, at least not like this. He shuffled a bit, struggling to get out of his shoes. Amazingly using only his feet he shucked his shoes and his jeans slid down to his ankles. He pulled out of them and kicked them aside. The kiss faded and I pulled my lips from his. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at me. His hands still in my pants, I looked down. Low riding on his waist he wore a pair of white briefs that seemed to hug him in every right way. The name 'Calvin Klein' embroidered along the elastic band. I stared at what was concealed under the thin white fabric. I made the outline of something enormous, defiantly thick and undoubtedly strong. It was big and I wasn't sure if I felt like going any further. I looked back at his face. Ruggedly handsome with a look in his eyes that told me he's never hurt me.

He must have seen my worry as his face went puzzled. His hands slowly left my jeans and made their way to my face, my ass feeling neglected and yearning for his grip again. But his hands on my face felt just as potent.

"Ethan, we can stop now..."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was jostled, but now I needed his attention more than ever.

"No.... I don't want us to stop..."

*LOGAN*
His eyes came up from scanning my body. The face he wore implied second thoughts. I hated this... he saw it and now he was scared. It was big, I knew that. I had to live with it. I guess my endowment could be considered a blessing or a curse. And right now it felt like a fucking curse. The smile fell from my face. My hands left the sanctuary of his jeans and came up to his cheek. I dreamt about this everyday, to be with him. And as much as I didn't want this to end, or how much it killed me, I couldn't hurt him. I heard the pain in my own voice as I said, "Ethan, we can stop now..."

His eye slowly shut as he shook his head. I didn't know how to take it until he said, "No... I don't want us to stop..."

I held his face as until he opened his eyes. I didn't want to stop either, but this was a first for him. I was gonna take things slow. I wanted him to call the shots and tell me what he wanted, when he wanted. But I guess me being the only one with the slightest experience. I guess it was up to me to help him feel comfortable.

"Why don't we take things slow then?"

I was willing to wait, he was worth any fucking wait. His hands came around my neck and pulled me into a tiny kiss. A shadow of what came before. He pulled away. Relaxation fell from his face and washed over his body.

"I'd like that."

I slowly nodded my head as his hands fell from my neck. I grabbed one as it crossed my chest and slowly pulled him to the couch, leading him as I walked backwards. I sat down first and slowly laid down the length of it. Only in my briefs and socks, still grasping his hands, he slowly untangled his fingers from mine and took off his shoes. One by one, pulling them off his feet, still standing over me and throwing them over to join the rest of our shed clothes.

I grabbed his hand again and pulled him down. I lead his hand to left side of my head as my hands were magnetically pulled back to his body. I pulled him down on top of me. His chest crashed into mine as our lips found one another once again. My hands went back to his denim clad ass. It wasn't the same, I had to feel him. But in the position I was in I couldn't get my large hands back into his jeans. The kiss broke as I looked into his eyes and yanked gently at the waistband of his jeans. With a little fear I opened my mouth.

"Ethan...? Can I.... uhh....?"

He smiled a little amused and nodded his head once and sighed.

"Logan, you're my.... boyfriend. In these situations, you don't have to ask."

I grinned from ear to ear as my hands found the front of his jeans. The button opened as I slowly unzipped the front. He was hard and pulsing from the feel of my hand brushing against it. With my hands and now my thumbs locked into his jeans I painfully them off. I made sure to feel as much of his ass as his jeans went off and over it. When I came to the point where my hands couldn't reach, he wiggled out of them and let them fall at the foot of the couch. He was wearing a tight pair of boxer briefs, grey and sexy as hell against his tan skin. With one leg between mine and one on the side we kissed and ground our bodies together. I stopped and looked at him again, still stunned by his beauty.

"Ethan.... touch me.... please."

He lifted his hand from the couch and skimmed the skin along my chest and over my abs, over my concealed cock. Still locking eyes, he groped it through the cloth. My back arched at the sensation of having a hand other than mine grasp me, that and the fact that that hand was Ethan's. I felt the heat of his palm as he rubbed it the entire length. Then all the way back to the base and then back around the head. My breath was heavy and I was breathing out of my mouth. His hands clutched the head once again through the cotton of my briefs. His hand glided its way down as his finger tips found themselves caressing their way onto my high thigh, startling the skin, then curling, snagging the leg hole of my briefs and pulling it up. The cool air hit the head of my cock as the chilling sensation grew and my mind continued to wander in intensity. He finally had my entire dick hanging out of the leg of my briefs, hard and pointing towards my chin. I felt his hand on my swollen tool, the feeling sent fireworks on its way to my brain. And during all this, I just stared into his face. I didn't know how many times I've told myself that he was perfect.

The sensation in my groin had me grounded, but I needed to feel him, to know that he was enjoying this just as much as I was. Now, only in his underwear, I grabbed his ass as his first stroke started on my cock.

*ETHAN*
He was enormous. It felt like his dick belonged on an animal rather than on a man. But I couldn't help but feel in awe at how thick it was, to feel his hardness and hold it in my hand. Never before in my life had I touched another guy's dick. And if it wasn't Logan's I don't think I would have. It was almost alive in my hands, throbbing like it was breathing. But the longer I held, the more I realized I loved it, because it was part of him.

I had him held at the base, then stroked him slowly, feeling the vain that ran his entire length. I felt the heat of his hands on my ass, one on each cheek. I watched Logan's face and it seemed like he was about to pass out. Right then I felt his middle fingers work their way under the elastic of my boxer briefs then another finger and then another until I could feel his palms on the sensitive skin of my ass. They groped and squeezed as I stroked his tool, now at a medium pace. My own cock craving for some attention, but with one hand obviously busy and the other supporting my weight, I hadn't a hand to spare.

By now I was also breathing hard. I then felt his left hand squeeze and pry my right cheek away form the other, his fingers digging into my crack as the other ran its way up the crease. My eyes squinted a little as I almost had trouble breathing. I held my breath and tightened my grip on his tool as his fingers found my hole and began tracing circles around it. My muscles seemed to loose all their strength as his fingers tortured me into ecstasy. His left hand let go, leaving his right fingers in between my cheeks. His left hand, still in my underwear, came around my sides and brushed my pubic patch. I let out a little moan, almost a breath. His finger tips grazed my cock as he continues to stare into my eyes. He finally wrapped his hand around it and I swear, I could have melted right there.

*LOGAN*
Ethan's ass was incredible. It was firm and smooth to the touch. I could spend all day just groping him and still want more by days end. My mind was boggled as my fingers continued to play with his hole. It was then that I realized, he had no hair in his crack whatsoever. He was my object of perfect beauty. The more I discovered, the more I loved him. His hand pumped me harder as my breath went crazy. The combination of my hands on him and his on me was drugging. I was not going to last long. I grunted every time his finger hit the crown. And I knew that it wouldn't be long now.

His asshole was firm and tightly sealed. I knew I wasn't getting in, at least not this time. But from the silk like texture, I wanted nothing more than to taste it. My other hand stroked his cock. His length was perfect as well as his thickness. Like every thing else about him, it was proportional. And it fit perfectly in my hand. I stroked it harder, now that his breath was getting harder as well. Then I felt it, that tingle from the tip of my toes as it built and raged through my body. My mind shut off as the feeling knocked me almost unconscious. My voice went out as I almost didn't have the strength to speak.

*ETHAN*
He was killing me slowly. My ass almost begging for entry, my cock being pounded like a piston and his cock in my hand, throbbing and thickening. My breath was rapid and hectic. Then I felt his cock thicken a rapid rate. I saw the cords of his neck tighten as his eyes rolled to back of his skull and his back arched once more. I felt the warmth of his fluid rush over my hand and onto his abs and chest... and some even on me.

It was thick and hot. And all the while I just stared as his face. I got him off..... I didn't know what happened, maybe it was the idea of me getting another guy off or maybe it was the joint stimulation. But I was right there with him. All the strength in my body fled from me as I felt sparks rip through my cock. I collapsed on top of him as I felt myself unload into my boxer briefs and into his hand. I held my breath as my head fell into the groove of his neck. And almost as a cry I said, "Logan..."

The last thing I remember were his arms going around me and feeling his breath in my hair as I slowly dozed off. Falling asleep to his big hands stroking and caressing my body until my eyes shut and my breath went back to normal. Strangely that night I didn't dream. Maybe it was because all my dreams at that moment were a reality.

End Chapter 5: Blue and Yellow

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