This is a good old fashion love story there will be sex and it is Gay based FICTION. I do not know the people portrayed in it and I probably never will. If you're old enough to read this then so be, it read away. IF NOT leave now or download it for later when you are old enough.
Tell me what you think johnathanswain@aol.com
Love's Greater Glance By Jonathan Swain
Looking back, I can see it all so clearly now. Love's greater glance is what I like to think of it as. Sure it shows you the whole picture now but it was not that way at the time. Trying to remember is the hardest thing when you are at the end of the road fought for and won. You have already traveled and the euphoria has already set in. I have learned my lessons of not trusting. I have earned the trust of others. But, with one blink of an eye it all can disappear if you are not true to yourself and the ones you love. In all the happiness and sadness that a relationship can bring I have learned so well the facts. I have learned to love weather in good times or in bad. I have learned to hold him if he is happy or sad. I have learned to make the choices no matter how unhappy they make me for a short period. He is the reason I have happiness as I sit here writing this to you now.
Howie had made his mark he had made me believe in self-suffocation of joy again. It was funny of all the guys in the group I would have never guessed it would be him. I would have pegged Nick or Brain as being the Gay ones of the groups. I would have never even made an attempt on either one of those two in the first place. But now I know them and their individual personalities and I am happy to say they are my friends. You see it was not so long ago that I was the single one sitting in front of the computer checking out the web sights and looking up photo's building shrines in their honors. Now I am the one writing to you the builders and readers. I get to finally tell someone how I felt and still feel to be near them and having this close bond with him. Yes, they know I am writing this. I have told them and they are supportive as long as I do not reveal every little detail about them. But before we get to far into who they are perhaps you would like to know a little about me first.
First off, I have never written a piece of fiction or non-fiction like this before. Take it or leave it this is my mind, trying to get the words out to you from me. I am 23 years old living in Los Angeles California. I am not a singer or a dancer and I consider myself good looking. And you should know Howie does agree. He also says I am too modest but maybe just maybe I will be able to write this out for you to get a better picture later as I have so much to tell you. Right now, we are sitting on the Bus yes the very same bus that carries the guys around on tour. We are sitting here mainly because we are traveling again. Yes I said again. I am a 6 feet tall Blond haired blue eyed and a heart full of joy if I don't say so myself. But then again, from the look on Howie's face while he is reading this, maybe I am not after all. Yes we are both sitting here, of course he now gets to see my total reactions and thought about us here since he is going to be helping me with the story. I can't wait to start writing so here goes nothing. Or do I mean everything?
About 9 months ago, I met them. Well, actually about 25 other people and I met them. And unlike most fiction out there we did not immediately hook- up. I met them. I got an autograph from Kevin first. I would have to say he had always been the one to stir my curiosity. But today he just didn't do it for me. I mean I walked up to the table we shook hands and he signed nothing big. He didn't even say hello; he just signed and looked back at the line behind me every once in a while. Actually, it was kind of annoying. I had dedicated my life to advertising these guys on the web and in news stories and they had not a clue or desire to even know who I was. I bet they had even seen the Web site (Howie is shaking his head yes). But over all none of them looked too interested in who we were standing there making them work. I can't say as I blame them sure they love their fans but who wants to get up early to go meet fans after they have had a late night at a concert.
Anyway, I stood there waiting for Kevin to finish his signing when he suddenly looked up at me and grinned. He handed me back the CD and I head on to the next heartthrob as I started to approach AJ, Kevin suddenly leaned over. Now I am not one to get to overly curious but the look on AJ's face from that moment on of signing my CD was interesting to say the least. He was grinning from ear to ear as he handed me back the CD before I could step over to Brain AJ leaned over to Brian and whispered something. Now I started to get even more curious until Brian looked up at me in confusion and then to Howie at his left side. I suddenly was even more curious as I saw Howie jump in his seat. He was not happy as he went to rubbing his shin and glaring at Brian. Brian stared at him for a few moments until he made an upward head nod to direct Howie's attention towards me. I was sure I was blushing now as I was being made a fool of. Brian grinned at me as I stammered back and looked at Howie and then back to Brian. I was not sure what to say or do suddenly as Nick started to laugh at me from Howie's left-hand side. I reached out to grab the CD and Brian slid back away from the table.
I quickly retrieved my CD and made my way towards the main entrance to the room I just couldn't take it anymore. As the CD landed in the trash can, I heard a gasp come from the teenage girls standing in line. Here all this time I had love them for their music and all the information I had collected on them. Unfortunately, the fact was they were just like everyone else I had included in my life, hurtful and mean. I stood there with the door still held half opened in my hand taking one last glance at the astonished looks on their faces. It was something that would stay with me for a lifetime. I couldn't get the look on Howie's face out of my head as I rushed across the hall to sound studio 12. I had been here before, I had grown here, and this was my second home.
As a child, I had spent a lot of time here this was the studio my father had worked in for many years. Of course, it wasn't so long ago that I had actually worked here myself. It was my first job in fact. But after my father passed on, I had not wanted to assume his role any longer. My parents had me late in life to begin with. I had only taken the job to gain a common interest with my father in the first place. My Mother had passed on several years back when I had been away on vacation with friends. My father didn't have the heart to pull me from the trip. Instead he let me be and we held the Funeral the day after I returned. She had been cremated so over all there was no need for a rush. He just waited until all was settled and his son could be with him.
This was his studio when he was here; it had recently been rebuilt, with my designs. Only now, it was modern and new, unlike my father who had now passed on like some many of the aspects of this very room. I found myself in a state of confusion and madness as I made my way to the control booth. My father and I had spent a lot of time in here. It was here he found out about me being gay, we had been working on sound bits for a local radio station in this tiny room. In the old days, he would have never continued to talk to me even if he was my father and I was his son. It was unheard of; it wasn't normal for his generation, it didn't exist. Of course, that was all an exaggerated cliche. I would have hidden away with an entire generation of homosexuals that would never have flaunted it. Yes they existed but to him it would have still not been acceptable.
"I'm sorry I turned out this way Dad. Don't know what to do. I guess I will never be happy," I said as I cried over Frank a young man I had fallen for and had been torn away from when he moved away.
"Son, one day you will fall in love. One day it will be there true and clear. But, promise me one thing you will be careful for your own sake. I want you to be happy, but I want you alive too." My father had shocked me as he always did in my life. His compassion I would never forget. His love I would never replace. He was my father and my most cherished possession.
I sat alone in the dark for quite some time I had not even taken into the fact that this stage may actually be serving some sort of a purpose today. It had already been two hours since the incident when I looked at the note board setting just to the right of the main control panel. Just as I picked it up the door to the booth opened and closed quickly. Some one had entered my serene world. My tears had all been dried and my eyes had already turned back to their normal state of being. My hurt had subsided by my taking my father's chair hours ago. My emotions had now come back to being under control.
"Excuse me sir but you a re not supposed to be in here. If you do not leave we will have you removed from the premise," I heard a familiar voice say as I turned to face Mark.
"Mark, I have been sitting here for over two hours and you are going to tell me to leave. It's nice to see you again too," I said as I turned around in the console chair for him to see me.
"Jon is that you," he asked.
"None other my friend. How are you," I asked.
"Good except for this recording we are going to be doing," he said taking a seat next to me.
"Yeah, I figured you guys would be doing some work here today," I laughed out as I handed him the notes still unread.
"Jon your 25 years old why would you want to see these guys sing. I mean your not some teenager anymore," he said as I cringed. My father's friend had no idea why I was truly here. I suddenly thought I had better cover up my interests.
"Besides none of them are gay anyhow. And if they were, I would have a better chance then you. I am the better looking one of the two of us," Mark said throwing me off guard before I knew it.
"You are not! But, with the way they made fun of me earlier you would have a better chance," I said trailing off remembering what had happened earlier.
"What do you mean. Are we talking about the same group of guys here? Hell I was only joking I had no idea you were gay," his words rang through me like a bad note in a symphony.
"Who said anything about being?" His face showed the hurt of my lie half told. "Oh Fuck it! Your right I am, but that is not common knowledge." I said with a look of sternness to show him not to say anything to anyone.
"I understand. Look I thought you knew me well enough. I mean sure, I don't go telling other people about myself a lot of the time. But, you on the other hand you tell no one. I bet, you were scarred there for a second." Mark said half laughing out the words as he finished his sentence. "Before your dad left us here he and I talked about it. If you use him for example, you should tell everyone."
"Ok look, so I don't go around advertising, but." I found myself being cut off by Howie walking into the studio below with the other guys following close behind.
"I'll be right back I need to meet the troops," Mark said, dashing out of the booth.
I watched out of the tented windows as Mark approached the guys. No one bothered to look at the booth at all as I stood just inside. I noticed a concerned look on Howie's face as he held my CD in his hands. The others just looked at him in dismay as each felt for him in some way or another. The concern was evident of friends. I sometimes wished in my life to have people to care for me like this.
"Hey guys what's up?" Mark said as he approached them all.
No answer came as he continued to walk towards them. Howie stood motionless as I watched him hand the CD to Mark. Mark was confused at first until he noticed my name on the inside cover. I had written it there when I took it too a club one night. I had wanted to get it back and I aimed to let the DJ know it was mine even if it meant letting him know it belonged to a guy.
"What's this?" Mark asked.
"Mark we have known each other what five maybe six years now. Trust has never been issues with you so I am going to just say it. That CD belongs to a guy we offended. All because we thought Howie over there would find him um..." Nick stammered out and then stopped as Howie glared at him.
"Find him what?" Mark asked calmly.
"Found him." Kevin corrected him.
"Found him what? If this is the same person I know.." Howie who was now in tears cut off Mark.
"Look they all laughed at him and I never had a chance to meet him. He threw the CD away as he ran out of the studio," Howie answered and rushed across the room to the sound booth entrance.
"Attractive." Kevin answered in a heavy sigh.
Howie was heading right into the room where I stood watching the others still below. With tears in my eyes, I stood my ground hoping Mark would call him back. I was sorely disappointed, as Mark didn't. Kevin slowly began to follow Howie as Mark immediately put his hand up telling him no.
"Just let him have some time to himself guys I've been there I know what it's like. It may be a lonely life we lead, but... Look it's our choice and sometimes life takes a turn we do or do not like."
"Wait, you don't mean your." Brain stopped himself from asking but not soon enough.
"Yes I am Brian, why are you interested?" Mark asked him jokingly.
"I just never thought of you as being." Brain stopped. "We really need to stop this before I embarrass myself," Brain said just as Howie opened the door and saw me standing there.
Two men caught in the moment of fear was all we felt as we each stared at one another each with our own tears. I stood shaking half because my fears had been met. The other half because here and now stood my destiny and I had no where to hide. Howie became frightened as he slowly closed the door and tried to compose himself. I was in awe of him, as I cold not speak. Was he like me or not, I did not know. But, in my mind it did not matter as I had been pushed away already. Why was he so upset about pushing me away?
'Perhaps it was not him who pushed you away ' a voice answered inside my head. I looked over into the studio and watched Mark explaining the days work to the others as Howie now began to approach me. I looked back just in time to catch his eyes now only a few feet away. Mark no longer held the CD in his hand's I could not see it below. Here was Howie and in his hand, the CD resided again.
"You left this back in the room." Howie said and paused as a tear trailed down my cheek. "I never thought I would actually get to hand it back to you though," Howie said looking down at it.
"I never thought you would want to. I mean with the laughter that came out of all the others and the way." I said trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears. I turned away.
"You have to understand they have been making fun of me for so long it was just funny. Today of all days they finally saw the one person to make me happy and he was standing in front of me. I was so preoccupied and had no idea you were right there. They weren't laughing at you, they were laughing at me." Howie said not stepping away as I felt him only inches behind me. I began to turn gathering my thoughts as I spoke.
"They saw the one person to make you happy? I was standing in front of you." I said as I made eye contact. There was no turning back this was it if we were to be he would have to let me know now or never.
"Yes the one to make me happy was standing there. You were standing right there the whole time," Howie said as he handed me the CD.
"As long as I have you here, I won't need this," I said pointing to my heart. I suddenly realized how corny this sounded but I didn't care. "You must know the real thing can never be compared to the plastic this is made of," I said, tossing the CD onto the recording console.
"I take it I am forgiven then?" Howie asked.
"Not yet, but if you keep staring at me you will be," I replied. There was a round of applause and laughter from below us in the recording area.
"Can they hear us?" Howie asked.
"They can if I hit the Mic button with a certain CD," I said as I pointed to the upturned switch.
"Ok so now they have more to laugh at us about," Howie said.
"Us?" I innocently asked.
"Yes us," he paused. "Us that is if you would not mind us getting to know one another and making it work out to be us."
"I wouldn't mind that at all, but you must know this is not something I had planned on happening today. I just wanted to get to meet you, not date you. I never would have thought about you seriously as being the gay one. I would have suspected." I paused and leaned forwards into the interior Mic. "To be honest I would have thought Nick and Brian were the buddies of the group. If you know what I mean," just then Brian and Nick made a run towards the door to the room.
"Now you've done it!" Howie shouted as he braced himself against the door blocking their entrance.
"Let them in they deserve it after the way they acted earlier," I said as I noticed AJ bent over at the waist laughing.
"They may have deserved it but you should have locked the door first," Howie said turning the lock. "Now lets get back to knowing each other," Howie said walking back over to face me.
My tears were now dry and so were his as he approached me and stood just inches away. I could feel his breath on my cheek as he turned his eyes down into the studio to see what was happening down there. I reached forwards to touch him to make sure he was real. My hand made contact with his tee shirt and my body rushed with the heat of the moment.
"Lust, love or a one night stand?" Howie asked.
"Hopefully love but it is to soon to tell. Maybe ask me again latter when I have had time to see just who this gorgeous man is on the inside," I said, point at his chest while he turned three shades of red. More clapping lit the air from below.
"Normally I hate an audience when I am falling for someone. But, if this is the price I have to pay to have you then so be it," I leaned forwards and kissed him gently on the lips as the redness faded and the shock was setting in.
"I bet you do that to all the guys," Howie commented as we broke apart.
"What?" I asked.
"Make them feel so good inside. So good that they could die right at a moment just like this." he turned off the microphone. "and never live another lonely second," he replied.
"But to be able to relive this moment over and over again in my mind with you would mean the joy of knowing I accomplished the one thing I set out to do. That of course being making you happy even if it was only for this one moment at least I did what made me happy too," I said as I heard a light knocking on the door. "Of course making you happy makes me happy," I said as I pecked his soft lips again and pulled away to take my beating from Brian and Nick.
As I opened the door to my surprise, I found none other than Mark standing there grinning from ear to ear. I looked past him over his shoulder to see Kevin Richardson standing there with the same grin on his face. I was suddenly becoming aware of the ramifications all of this was going to have. I was going to be involved with one of the Backstreet Boy's. My head began to swim as I turned to face Howie again. Only this time when I looked at him no longer was he one of the Boy's (one of my idols) he was a man a very attractive man. 'You lucky bastard' I heard a voice say in my head. I looked back to Mark who was now clearing his throat.
"So, Kevin I would like for you to meet Donny Mallincourt," Mark said as he pushed past me and left me to face Kevin. I was extremely nervous as he came forwards followed by the rest of the guys.
"Actually Don is better than Donny. Mark has known me for too long he thinks of me as a kid still," I half wittingly replied. Kevin reached out his hand to shake it as I felt as close presence behind me.
"Nice to meet you Don," Kevin said shaking my hand in a firm grip. As I stood there blocked from behind by Howie AJ stepped forwards.
"No hard feeling's about earlier I hope?" He asked as he shook my hand next. Brian and Nick stood close to one another in the small corridor waiting their turn.
"None yet. But, with the way I acted I am surprised you guys would want to meet me?" I asked and AJ gave me a funny look. Howie held the CD up over my shoulder and AJ gave me a funny grin.
"I've heard better music myself those guys could use better management, if you know what I mean," AJ said pointing to Kevin.
"Ouch, I bet they would hate to hear that you guys aren't even fans," I said.
"Nah, they probably haven't even got time for guys like us," Brian said reaching forwards to shake my hand. Instead of shaking my hand, he pulled me into the stair well where he and Nick proceeded to hug me and shout into my ears.
"So you thought we were the gay ones!" I was beginning to see the error of my ways quickly as Brian reached down and grabbed my ass for added measures. Nick became hysterical.
"Brian with the way you're acting maybe he was right!" Nick shouted and dashed up the stairs running into Howie.
Everyone was laughing as Brian let me go and quickly took to chasing after Nick into the small booth. Howie bolted down the stairs to where I now stood at the bottom. I wasn't trying to get away, but I was waiting for him. I wanted to see if he would follow me. When he ran head long into me I almost lost my footing and fell but he grabbed me and held me close to him I was saved.
"Donny there is work to be done. If you want to stay up here with me and direct a little your more than welcome too. You practically designed this new set up so it would not be right for me to make you leave. Besides it gives you a reason to be here is Dreyer comes in," Mark said into the over head speakers.
Dreyer was the owner of the station or at least he thought himself to be. Of course now days the studio had been bought out by one of the conglomerates and were only being managed by Mr. Tom Dreyer. Howie looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and then back up to the booth. I just shook my head yes and watched as his face lit up with happiness. I walked over to the Mic area and nodded for Mark to start the test sequence.
"What's he doing?" Kevin asked Mark as everyone was watching me drag Howie along with me.
"Testing the equipment of course," Mark replied.
"Isn't it usually set up with each group that comes in. You know set up according to the voice of the person. Octaves and ranges and so on and so forth." Nick asked showing his knowledge.
"Yes, but since Donny is here he tests it. He quit working here a couple of months ago. But this was his baby. It is his thing, I guess it's kind of like a good luck charm. You know how Basketball Players will not change a pair of sock because they are afraid they will suddenly not be able to make the three-pointer if they do. This is kind of like his pair of socks. Funny thing is he used to only do this if he was alone in here," Mark said drifting off into thought.
"You mean he actually used to work here and designed this studio?" AJ asked, astonished.
"Yes, that's what I said. Funny thing is since his father passed away none of us have heard much from him." Mark answered. Just then the track Mark selected queued up and music began to play. I began to sing not looking at the booth Howie or anything as I closed my eyes and began to sing only to find my nerves trying to ripe my heart out at the same time.
I'd walk halfway around the world For just one kiss from you Far beyond the call of love The sun, the stars, the moon As long as your love's there to lead me I won't loose my way believe me Even through the darkest night you know
Howie joined in and startled me half out of my joy and contentment. I felt the world rush by as my heart began to sing where I had left it alone for so long. I had kept myself at a distance for so long and today I was growing as a person. I had learned to trust again, I let my voice slip into the soothing sound of his words. I had been in here and done this song a million times breaking in new equipment and setting standards for myself never had I ever expected to sing it with him them us.
I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you asked me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to Your love as far as I can see Is all I'll ever need There's one thing for sure I know it's true Baby, I'd go anywhere for you
"Wow, they actually sound good together," AJ said.
"Yeah they do. This is the first time I have heard Howie actually sing. I mean really sing since we released Millennium," Brian said getting a round of head nods everyone continued to listen. Howie led the next verse, as I stood back and listened, tears threatening to break free. I was not going to be a sap. I was not going to fall so fast.
I used to think that dreams were just For sentimental fools And I'd never find someone Who'd give their love so true But I knew the very minute Couldn't live my life without you in it And now I want the whole wide world to know
'Too late you're falling' a voice in my head said. I joined him on the chorus again.
I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you asked me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to Your love as far as I can see Is all I'll ever need There's one thing for sure I know it's true Baby, I'd go anywhere for you
I tried throughout the whole song not to look at Howie. It was impossible now as we began the repeat of the chorus.
I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you asked me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to Your love as far as I can see Is all I'll ever need.
Baby there's one thing I know that's true. Baby I'd go anywhere for you... For you Yooou For you
I saw the look in his eyes and the tears began to roll. Mark queued the fade; we stopped singing right as the last note hung in the air. Neither of us said a word as we headed for the sound both. As we reached the bottom of the stairs we noticed the door still closed each of us glanced to the other as we took the first step at the same time bumping into one another. I began to stumble backwards as he reached out and pulled me close to him. The warmth of his body intrigued my soul as I leaned into him. He had a look of yearning as he leaned forwards. I began to accept the motion as my lips brushed against his.
'Too late you've fallen' the voice in my head rang clear.
The door to the booth swung open wide as Kevin and Mark stood starring down at us. Neither of us looked up from our brief pecks, as there was no pushing from either of us. I looked into Howie eyes checking to see if he was to hesitate or if we were to continue. He simply closed his eyes and went for the kill as his tongue entered my mouth my eyes closed to meet him. I felt his tongue slid across mine as I reached out and entered his mouth as well. His mouth was pure sustenance as my soul scream a cheer and my mind raced to the finish line.
"Um, guys we may want to start actually recording soon," Marks voice sounded in my ear. He was still standing at the top of the stairs but it was as if he were only standing inches away. Howie and I drew back at the same time looking into one another's eyes one last time before breaking apart.
"Go do your work. I will be up in the booth when you're done," I said as Howie just grinned at me.
"How cute is that!" AJ shouted as he took the first three steps in one move and headed right for us.
Howie punched AJ in the arm as he passed by us and ran into the studio. I grabbed Howie's sides as he began to squirm around from the tickling sensation. He looked at me and raised a hand up quickly as he wagged his finger in my face telling me no. Just as he did so Nick ran up to us and started to tickle Howie. Howie squirmed so hard he hit his head into mine.
"Owe! Ok that's enough of that. You guys get to work before I get hurt." I said as I started to head up the stairs only to be stopped by Kevin who pointed back down the stairs.
"Your coming with us," Kevin said.
"What?" I asked.
"You make him happy, you make us happy. We make you happy. Got it?" Kevin said confusing me.
"You wanted to get to know us right?" Brian asked as the two pushed me alone down into the studio again. I just gave up and stood next to Howie. Brain moved over next to us during the song several times bumping us into one another. I almost laughed and that would have made a mess of the recording. They were recording a Spanish version of "Spanish Eye's" Since I speak no Spanish I just stood there watching as they repeatedly recorded what sounded like the chorus. A couple of times I found myself singing alone in English. Howie would look over at me approvingly during these versus. As the day dragged on, I continued to learn the song and often times translated the English into the song in just the faintest moments. I walked back up to the sound both and Mark looked quite shocked.
"You know you really should consider taking up a career in singing right?" Mark asked.
"I don't think so. I hate crowd I hate being in the spot light and I really can't believe anyone would want to hear me sing." Just then Mark reached up and hit the playback switch on the console and through out the speakers rang the guys' voices singing in Spanish. He had mixed me in with the English lines I had sung. I listened intently as I noticed Howie and the others listening downstairs. I was suddenly not amused by the situation. I wanted no part of this. I did not intend to have Howie think I met with him just to get my start in the business.
"Turn it off!" I shouted.
"But why? It's good I swear and look at the guys' they like it." Mark pleaded.
"Just shut it off erase it and never let anyone have a copy. Do you understand what I am saying to you here? If this were to get out what would the guys think then," Mark ran his hand across the console turning off the music.
"Look Mark I know you mean well and yes it would be cool to be involved with this. But, lets face it, to have Howie think of me as using him to get a start is not my idea of a good relationship beginning. I want this to be real. You know like him and I being honest with one another not him thinking I am like some vulture out to take the spotlight. This would not be right so I will do it on my own some other time. Not this song, not this group, I won't do it." With that said I made my way down the stair to the recording area where there was a silence of enormous proportions. The door upstairs slammed shut as I knew I had just made a mess of things with Mark.
I saw tears in Howie's eyes as I approached him. I felt bad for stopping the recording but I knew it was for the best. Mark began to play the edited version of the song with just the guys singing and Howie stopped crying. He glanced over to me as I heard the phone ringing in the both. It was not coming from the booth doorway it was shut. It was coming from the surrounding speakers. They had heard everything I had said upstairs. I was embarrassed beyond words. I wanted to run and hide. I started to walk out of the room but stopped myself as I felt a presence behind me.
"No one has ever cared that much about what I thought before now. I would hate to think you would be so embarrassed about something like this. It was sweet and endearing like I want things to be with us. I want to keep it real," Howie said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I was so upset and happy at the same time I just sighed with relief trying to hold it all in.
"Lust, love or a one night stand?" Howie asked.
'You've fallen' my father's voice rang clear in my head.
"Love so far as I can tell, but is it to fast you think?" I asked.
"No, if it's real it's true. I believe that," Howie responded pulling me tighter to him.
"So you're falling in love with me too?" I asked.
"Yes, enough so to do something that's for your own good. You go up there, tell him your sorry, and make it clear that he is not to erase that copy. I want it for us," Howie said turning me around in his arms and kissing my sadness away.
"Please don't let go Howie, this is to good to be true," I said.
"Too good for me is what you are, true is the amount of happiness I feel with you," Howie replied as he let me go and pointed towards the booth. I headed towards the stairwell to make my apologies. I was not sure exactly how I was going to do that but I made my way up anyhow. I could hear a small amount of talking coming form the recording floor but not enough to make out what was being said. The door was locked as I tried to turn the knob. Mark had locked the door but he forgot one thing if I wanted in I would get in. As an honor to my father, the same locks had been used as were here before he left. I reached into my pocket to pull out my keys to the door only to have Mark open it and reach out his hand to me.
"You are a lot like your father you know that. Howie, well, he is a lot like the influence your mother had. I bet he tames that demon of hot headedness you have inside. Your forgiven as far as the recording goes I already got rid of it. I erased it as soon as you walked out. I understand what it means to you to have your privacy. I understand what he means to you and loosing him over some petty desire to make a career for yourself would be wrong. Love him but give him time to get to know you too," I was loosing it quickly as my emotions were being spurned again. "Now they have to leave to a appearance on The Tonight Show, are you going with them or not? If you are you better be ready to leave town from there, they have to get on the road," Mark said as he let go of my hand and turned to walk back into the studio.
"Give them this to take to Leno tonight it is important that they do the song the way it is on there, I know it will be lip-sync. But for that show that is what Leno wants. Of course, they will be doing one live number. But, I have no say either way. I am telling you this because their management person flaked. They are on their own tonight," Mark said as Kevin walked up the stairs to join us.
"I take it that means we have to get going and I am in charge again," Kevin asked.
"Yep," Mark replied. "That's the tape you guys need," Mark said pointing to the tape in my hand.
"Great, Thank you so much Mark we have to get going then it is already 3:00 and we should have had a representative from the label there by 12:00. We better be on our way. Donny if your coming with us you have to go with us now," Kevin said shaking Mark hand and rushing back down the stairs.
I wanted to say something to him anything but nothing came to mind that sounded right. How could I ever thank him for helping me with my problem? What would have been right? I had no idea what to say.
"Just go. You being happy for once and making the right moves for you are important. He will make you happy. Just give him a chance," Mark said hugging me close before pushing me towards the stairs. I rushed back down to meet Howie at the bottom who waved back up at Mark.
We rushed across town in the limousine provided by the label. No one knew where the guys were apparently as there were no fans still present at the station. I assumed they all thought they left out a back door or something after this morning signing. Kevin remained on the phone with the label the entire time on the way over to NBC studios. Howie and I cuddled up on the seat next to him as AJ Brain and Nick sat across from us. Brian and Nick each huddled together reading some letter they had acquired from a fan mail group. AJ remained quiet starring out the window as if in deep thought. Soon enough we reached the studious and made our way inside.
"Hello, gentlemen I am Mr. Jack Wryling. I will be helping you prepare for tonight's show. Your label has not sent over a replacement to help here. Your band has set up as scheduled and the rest of your staff is in here," Jack pointed us toward the green room where the door stood shut. Kevin had a puzzled look on his face as we approached the door.
"Staff?" I heard Nick ask.
"Staff," I heard Brian reply flatly.
As we stepped inside Nick was tackled to the couch nearest the door. A young girl just shorter than Nick, proceeded to kiss him deeply. Soon enough he was groaning and the two went to grinding on the couch with all of us watching. None of us moved as Kevin cleared his throat several times. Fatima the choreographer for the group sat quietly watching as I stood half dazed by the sudden changes in attitude in the group. Tension grew as the two continued to make out on the couch.
"Damn Mandy I told you to act like you belong here. I never told you to act like you were his oxygen," Fatima said, as Mandy did not take notice.
"Nick's long lost girlfriend," Howie said pulling me in the direction of Fatima.
"Fatima I would like you to meet," Howie was cut off suddenly by Fatima.
"Your oxygen supply," she smartly replied.
"Yes," Brian laughed out walking up.
Fatima had no look of shock on her face as she reached out to take a handshake from me. I was taken back by the leisure attitude. But, I decided not to question it at this point. They all seemed so close. I would have to say that they were a family and no secrets were left to be let out of the bag.
"You have this look of shock on your face. I would guess your not used to all this yet?" Fatima asked.
"No not really. You all just seem so close and secure in the way you deal with one another. It is just so unusual to me. I rarely see it in this business. It takes some getting used to I guess," I replied.
"We need to practice guys and there are a lot of things to do before we go over. Donny if you are to be part of this family then you better come out and see what it's all about," Kevin said opening the door for everyone to come out. "Oh Fatima we need to go over "Spanish Eye's" there are some changes to go over." Kevin said as he headed out into the hallways with all of us following close behind.
"So, when do we meet Jay," Brian asked giving us a funny grin almost looking like Jay himself.
"Latter on this afternoon. We start taping around 5:00 our time so this can go on air on the East Coast on time," Jack said, while rejoining us in the hall two doors down.
"Who are those people over there?" Nick said pointing to a group of 15 people standing off to the side in one of the eves to the studio.
"Tour group. Vacationers mostly. They won't most likely be at the show tonight. Our tours come through about one every 15 to 20 minutes. They're free to the public," Jack replied matter a factly.
"Cool," Nick replied looking at the main stage area. There were several people running around in circles trying to find things to do trying to look busy. Everything was set up for the show all that was left apparently was the practice and the preparation for the Boy's performance.
"All of you will be coming out of this entrance here that we are walking though after your songs you will be ushered towards the couch. Jay will call your name and you will be invited to sit and answer some questions. The usual stuff really as this was all set up by your label. If there is anything else asked it would be spur of the moment kind of stuff. It makes it look more natural if Jay has some leeway with his interview. As you know," Jack said looking back at me. I just shrugged it off as a man not knowing who he truly was dealing with.
"Ok here you are, you have thirty minutes to practice before we have to clear the set. At that time, the audience will start to come in and be warmed up with the help of the band and the audiences warm up guy. So get busy guys and try not to take to long otherwise they will be getting an early performance of your singing," with that said Jack walked out the opposite side of the stage area and left us all standing there.
"Why do I feel like this is unorganized," I asked.
"It wouldn't be if Steve had of shown up like he was supposed to," Kevin said looking at Fatima who just grinned from ear to ear.
"Steve and Fatima used to date until he suddenly had a wife. A pregnant wife none the less," AJ said into my ear. I just looked at Howie who shook his head in agreement.
"Ok, everyone we are going to practice 'Larger Than Life' first since it is the first song. After that it will be the new version of 'Spanish Eyes' and then Brian will do 'That's What She Said' to close us out after the interview. No big changes so there should be no surprises over all," Kevin said as he walked to the stage manager and handed him the tape.
Soon enough the guys had practiced 'Larger Than Life' twice and were ready to practice 'Spanish Eyes'. The music began and I almost fell off the stool I was sitting on next to Fatima. She had been directing the dance corrections and had not even noticed my sudden change of posture. The song was not right. Kevin immediately took notice as did Howie as he was grinning form ear to ear. My voice was still mixed into the first three lines of the song.
TBC!
Let me know what you think so far johnathanswain@aol.com