Loving Conor

If you're reading as I'm posting, I'm sure you noticed the long delay between this chapter and the last one. This significant chapter pushed my already taxed writing skills to the limit. I found it incredibly difficult to convey the raw emotions and powerful feelings of those involved in the story. Anyway, I've poked and prodded at paragraphs long enough. If at some point you find yourself tearing up, smiling, or laughing, then I did my job well enough.

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-------------------------------- Loving Conor - Chapter 16

Panic set in and I froze. If something happened to Conor after seeing me in bed with another man, I could never forgive myself. So many things had gone so damn wrong and I wondered if anything would ever be right again. I felt hope being ripped away... despair, loss, and fear clawing their way in.

"Brandon. Hey, Brandon!" Sam snapped her fingers in my face.

"Huh?"

"Your phone."

"Oh, thanks."

"Hello."

"It's Rose, dear."

"Hi Rose. Why are you whispering?"

"He's here, Brandon."

"Who, Conor? Is he okay? Where are you?"

"Yes, Conor, at the boutique. He seems to be sleeping off a hangover."

Conor was safe! A jolt of hope struck light lightning... then fizzled out into darkness.

"That... that's good... I mean it's good he's okay. Would you mind waiting with him? I'll call a tax..."

"No, Brandon, you won't."

"But..."

"But nothing. You come get him."

"Rose, I..."

"I'm going to say this one time, so listen carefully; Conor needs you right now, so get your ass down here, understand?"

"Yes ma'am. I'll be right there."

I hung up with Rose and dialed Sean. Sam had heard enough to know Conor was okay, but she looked confused and I didn't have time to elaborate.

"Brandon, what news?"

"A friend found him. He's okay."

"Shite, what a relief! Where is he?"

"He's down at the boardwalk not far from here. I... I guess I'm going to get him.

"You guess? Should I drive over?"

"No, don't do that. I'm going."

"Listen, Brandon. I really thought I saw something special between you two, but if you don't love him, please just tell him so he can let go."

"It's not that. I love him so much it hurts, Sean. It's just... everything is so screwed up. I'll have him call you, okay?"

"Okay, Brandon. I wish you luck."

"Thanks, but I'll need more than luck. I need a miracle."

Sam followed as I walked to the front door.

"Who is Rose?"

"A very mean old lady" came to mind, but I didn't say it.

"No time, Sam. I'm going to Conor."

"Do you want me to go with you? He's gonna kill you, you know that, right?"

I paused halfway through the door. "I know, but this is something I need to do alone. Say something nice at my funeral."

My feet felt heavy, as if weights were being added with each step. I got to the intersection, pushed the crossing button, and waited as a multitude of voices waged war in my head.

There had been too many voices, too many people giving too much advice, and too many words left unspoken. Where was my voice? I was finally getting my chance to talk to Conor... my last chance, and I had to make it count.

I grasped for the one thing that could possibly give me hope; an image of Conor the day I met him. I grabbed onto the image and held it with everything I had. As the image threatened to slip away, I clenched my fists and let rage take over, then used it as a battering ram to force the other negative emotions back to hell where they belonged. I had one, one chance, and I was damn sure going to take it!

With hope renewed, I ignored the lights, dodged the cars, and I ran. The closer I got, the more my heart ached to see his beautiful face again, and the more resolved I became that it wouldn't be the last time.

I rounded the corner of the old building to see Rose, sitting in a folding chair, and a tuft of red-blond hair sticking out from under a blanket on the walkway.

As I got closer, Rose looked up from the book she was reading, then stood and looked into my eyes and saw the newfound determination that burned there. Rose placed a hand on my chest, smiled and nodded, then quietly slipped inside her old store.

I knelt next to my Love and cleared my mind of all the voices until only one was left... my voice. Rage vanished as I pulled the blanket down and saw his beautiful face, like seeing him for the first time again. My shredded soul reached out for his, desperately trying to be whole again, then I leaned over and kissed his ruby red lips.

Conor stirred, then quickly sat up, the fog of sleep still in his eyes. He lifted the blanket, looked at it for a moment, then put it to his nose and whispered, "Roses?" Conor shook his head, likely confused about where he was, then looked directly at me. "B?"

"I love you, Conor."

Conor stood up and started walking toward the beach. There was no way I was letting him go without hearing me out, so I followed until he reached the water's edge, then stopped and just stood there, staring out at the ocean with cloudy eyes as if lost in some other place. I gave him a moment to find his voice.

"I um... I went to see you last night."

"Conor, I can expl..."

"Please wait! I... I need to say this."

"I'm listening."

"I'd had too much to drink so I came here first to clear my thoughts and... I guess I passed out. I... I wanted to tell you... I'm sorry. The way I treated you is inexcusable, and you probably hate me now, but..."

"Conor, I don't..."

"I... I let myself get too close, and it scared me because... you're leaving... and I know it's too late, but... I'm fucking in love with you, and..."

"Conor, please..."

"I'll go... to Arizona with you. Please just give me another..."

"Conor, listen to me!"

Conor dropped to his knees. I looked down at my Love and saw it... he had given up hope. Then I saw something else... something in my shirt pocket that hadn't been there before... something that inspired so much more than hope!

My knees hit the sand and I took Conor's face in my hands. "Are you listening?"

With tears now streaming down his face, Conor nodded.

"I was afraid too, but I'm not anymore, and I don't want you to be afraid ever again. I've already quit my job and sold my house, and my stuff is being shipped here. I am deeply, madly, in love with you and I'm not going back to Arizona."

I saw the cloud lift from Conor's eyes and the spark of hope return.

"You... you love me?"

"Yes, I love you more than life itself, and I promise to never, ever, leave you!"

It was right... I knew it was right... right and perfect and what I wanted more than anything in the world!

I pulled the ring from my pocket...

"Conor O'Keefe, will you marry me?"

I followed as Conor stood up.

"I know it's a big decision. If it's too soon..."

Conor jumped and wrapped his legs around me, then looked down and pressed his lips to mine. Our tongues collided and tears mixed together as we laughed and cried at the same time. The tide was coming in and I could feel the water surround my legs. I could have stayed in that moment for a lifetime, then Conor pulled away and just stared at me. I thought for a second that something was wrong, then...

"Yes! Yes, B, I'll marry you!"

I slipped the ring on Conor's finger, symbolizing the impossible miracle of our union.

I had been so focused on Conor that I hadn't noticed the small crowd that had gathered around us until someone started clapping. I looked into my fiancé's eyes and he looked into mine and we laughed. Then I heard a familiar voice...

"That's the sweetest fucking thing I've ever seen."

Sam had obviously followed me from The House. Conor looked over at Sam.

"Sammy! Did you hear?"

"Yes, I heard. You two belong together, and I'm really happy for you, but you're both totally nuts. It's a good thing I recorded this shit or no one would believe it. I'll... I'll just go now." Sam walked away, wiping tears from her face.

The water was over my knees when I finally walked out of the waves and set Conor down. "Come with me, babe. There's someone I want you to meet."

Conor stopped suddenly. "My mother, and Sean!"

"It's okay. They know you're safe." I handed Conor my phone. "Here, text Sean and tell him you'll call soon. He has your phone." Conor sent the message and we walked hand-in-hand to the Boutique. Rose was standing at the edge of the walkway waiting for us.

"Conor, I'd like you to meet Rose, a very dear friend, and the owner of this building."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. Wait, the blanket smelled like..."

Rose smiled. "Roses, yes. I see congratulations are in order. May I?" A tear rolled down her cheek as Rose took Conor's hand in hers and gently turned the ring around his finger. "It suits you well."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Just Rose, please. Conor, would you walk with me?"

I took the hint and stayed behind, unable to take my eyes off my love, and wondered when I was going to wake up from the beautiful dream. Not one of my fears had materialized. All the worrying, pain, sleepless nights and terrible nightmares could have been avoided if we hadn't given in to fear... if I had just listened to Rose the first time I met her. "Fear has left too many hearts lonely, Brandon."

Rose... she could deny it all she wanted to, but there was something magical about the woman. The ring had been Marco's I knew, and likely her most prized possession. Rose had slipped the ring in my pocket at the exact moment that I needed it, but how did she know? I decided that some mysteries were better left as mysteries.

I watched Rose and Conor as they talked, certain Conor was getting some advice he didn't know he needed. I was getting desperate to have my Love in my arms again, when the two finally walked back, chatting as if they were old friends. As soon as I could, I stood and took Conor's hand. Rose smiled. "I suppose I should let you two go, but one more thing."

Rose pressed something into Conor's palm.

"What's this?"

I recognized the object immediately and squeezed Conor's hand as Rose explained. "The key is to the Boutique, or should I say Studio?"

"I... I don't understand."

"I'm giving it to you as a wedding gift. The Loft will make a perfect place to live until Brandon can build you two a proper home. I've already had the papers drawn up and we can sign as soon as you're ready."

"You're serious? Is she serious?"

I hugged Rose. "She's serious, babe."

Conor lifted Rose off her feet and spun around. I freaked out for a second, but Rose was laughing as she was set back on her feet.

"I don't even know what to say. How long have you two had this planned?"

"Don't look at me, babe. I didn't have anything to do with it."

"But, how... the papers were already..."

"Try not to think about it. It'll fry your brain."

Rose laughed again. "We can talk later, Conor, but you should go before Brandon busts his zipper."

"Rose!"

"Just when you think you know me, Brandon. Go now, and enjoy the first day of your new life together."

As usual, Rose was right, slightly embarrassing, but right. Conor and I walked with quick footsteps back up the path to the road. I decided it was best not to push my luck running through traffic again, so we stopped at the light.

Conor leaned in, kissed my neck and nibbled my ear. "My room?"

My knees nearly gave out and I stifled a moan. "As soon as we get there, yes!"

Anxious to make up for lost time, we rushed to The House and inside... then got blasted with confetti and cheers.

The video Sam had taken was playing on the large screen. Sam had apparently roused the entire House to watch it, and some of them hadn't even bothered to get dressed.

We waded through the line of people, hugging, shaking hands, getting slapped in the ass, then Tom yelled out.

"Quiet, please!"

All eyes turned to Tom. "Thank you. I um... I just want to say... you guys are like my best friends, and I'm happy for you, and... you inspire me... and... I been waiting... aw fuck it!"

Tom dropped to his knee in front of Sam and held up a ring. Sam screamed and started jumping up and down yelling "Yes, yes, yes!" then the two were lost in a dogpile of people. Conor and I looked at each other... and dove in.

As soon as we could pry ourselves out, I grabbed Conor's hand and we made a break for his room. Conor was unlocking the door when my phone rang.

"Hey, Sean. Conor is fine. We'll..."

"Holy shite, you're getting married!"

"How in the world did you find out?"

"Conor's friend posted a video on her page so I saw it on mine. You should see the notes already."

"Wait, are you online friends with your mom?"

"Yes. Oh shite!"

I knew it was only a matter of time before Chloe and Nancy saw the video. "Do whatever it takes to distract them, we'll be right over!"

Conor had heard enough to know what was happening and was already headed out.

"Babe, wait." I grabbed Conor's hand and pulled him to the back door.

"What are you doing, B? Jim's car is still at Sean's. We'll have to walk or take a..."

Like so many others who had seen Sweets for the first time, Conor stood with his mouth open.

"It's yours?"

"No, babe. Sweets is ours."

I handed Conor the keys and climbed in the passenger's seat. "You're driving. If you don't know how to drive a stick, you're learning on the way."

"It's been awhile, so you might want to hang on."

"Just don't pop the clutch or... never mind."

Tires screeched and smoke boiled around us as Conor backed out. "Oops, sorry."

Conor had gotten the hang of driving Sweets by the third stoplight, and any worries I had for the car vanished with his smile. The car was just a car after all, but his smile was priceless.

Conor pulled into Sean's driveway, shut Sweets off, took a deep breath and scrunched his face.

"Are you nervous about telling your mom?"

"No, not really. I need a shower though."

I chuckled. "You're fine, but if you mention shower again, I may just bust my zipper."

Conor walked around, kissed me, then we walked to the front door. As he was turning the doorknob, Conor looked at me mischievously and said, "Shower."

"Oh, you'll pay for that."

"I'm counting on it."

The smell of food hit me as soon as we got inside and my appetite came back with a vengeance.

"Bacon!"

There was a plate full of bacon, another plate of hash, and a third with scrambled eggs.

Only one thing could subdue my sex drive at the moment, and that was food.

Conor grabbed a piece of bacon with one hand and shoved it in his mouth, handing me a piece with the other, then we tossed the "Don't talk with your mouth full" rule out the window.

"I haven't really eaten much lately."

"Yeah, me either. Where is everyone?"

Just then, Nancy came from the back. "Conor, thank God you're here! Something is wrong with Sean!"

Knowing Sean was supposed to be distracting the moms, Conor walked casually to the back bedroom and I followed.

Sean was putting on a very convincing show, holding his stomach and moaning in pain.

Conor grabbed Sean's foot and smiled. "Okay, Sean, you can stop now."

Instead of stopping, Sean's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his whole body shook in convulsions.

"Knock it off, Sean. Sean? Sean!"

I had already pulled my phone from my pocket when Conor yelled out. "Call 911!"

Sean lifted his hand, palm out, and I realized what was happening. "He's fine everyone."

Chloe and Nancy looked at me, noticing I was in the room for the first time. "Brandon? What's going on?"

"He's laughing, and it hurts, but he can't stop."

Sean pointed at me and nodded in confirmation, then finally took some deep breaths. "You... should see your... faces right now."

"Why, you d-bag!"

"Mom, he's calling me names!"

"Nothing you don't deserve, Sean, scaring everyone like that!"

"Sorry, they made me do it!"

"You were supposed to distract them, not give everyone a heart attack, arse weed!"

"Come closer and call me that, chump!"

Conor licked his finger and went for Sean's ear.

Nancy touched my arm. "Distract us? From what?"

I noticed the video still cued up on Sean's laptop, then got everyone's attention. "Conor, would you like to show them?"

Conor smiled and hit play, then put one arm around my waist and the other around his mother.

My emotions kicked in as the beginning of the video played through. I held Conor tight and he leaned his head on my shoulder, both of us holding tears back. Nancy smiled and glanced at me, then Chloe did the same, and said. "It's adorable."

Sean had to add his two cents in. "Looks like a mushy soap if you ask me."

Followed by a retort from Conor. "No one asked you, dingwap."

And a scolding from Nancy. "Shush! I can't hear."

Conor smiled at Sean and Sean smiled back, then they both had to look away from each other to keep from breaking down. All of the trash talk had been a defense mechanism, I knew, until they had the chance to shed their emotions together.

I turned to watch Nancy's face, knowing the proposal was about to happen, and nervous about how she would respond. When the video me pulled the ring out, Nancy put her hands over her mouth and gasped.

"Conor O'Keefe, will you marry me?"

Nancy quickly looked down at the ring on her son's finger and grabbed his hand. Conor smiled at his mother, who burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck as the video played his answer. "Yes! Yes, B, I'll marry you!"

I glanced at Chloe, unsure how to read what I saw in her eyes. I saw surprise for sure, but there was something else.

"Um... Mom... you're choking me." As soon as he was released from Nancy's python hold, Conor went straight to Sean. The rest of us walked out of the room with a silent agreement to give the two their time.

Back in the kitchen, Chloe went straight to work reheating the food. When I tried to help, she insisted that I sit and talk with Nancy while she fixed everyone's plates, but Nancy and I helped anyway.

After everyone was served, the three of us sat at the kitchen table. I did my best not to look like the pig I wanted to be, but was finished far quicker than the ladies. Not much had been said since we sat down, so I broke the silence.

"It's been quite a day. How are you two with all of this?" It was a risky but important question. Nancy spoke first, smiling broadly at me, then holding my hand.

"I think it's wonderful! I'm so happy for you and Conor, and so glad he found someone like you. Isn't it wonderful, Clo?"

Chloe didn't look up from her plate. "Oh, wonderful, yes."

I realized then what I had missed before... fear. I softened my voice and took the risk. "What is it, Chloe?"

Chloe glanced at me, then back to her plate. "I... I don't want to upset the apple cart."

Nancy looked shocked. "What do you mean?"

"It's just all a bit soon. I was hoping you and Conor would make up, but how can you possibly..."

Chloe hesitated, so I smiled softly. "Nothing you can say will make me angry. I promise."

"Very well, then. How could you, Brandon?! You've only known Conor for a very short time, and you ask him to marry you? You said it yourself; you don't even have a job, or a place to live, and what do you or Conor know of marriage? Making a lifetime decision now is just irrational and irresponsible!"

I had to calm myself to keep the promise I had just made. "I was married, before, and I can assure you that I know what it means..."

"Well if you couldn't make it work with him, what makes you think..."

"Her. We had a great marriage, until cancer took Julie from me."

"Goodness, forgive me. I am sincerely sorry, but still, your decision was hasty."

"I agree, Chloe. I haven't known Conor for very long, and it was an irrational decision, but it was the right decision. Love isn't something that can be mass produced and packaged in shiny boxes with nice little bows. Love is different for everyone, and our love is ours to define. I stand by my choice, and I won't take it back."

"He's right."

Everyone turned at Conor's voice. Apparently the two young men had been standing in the hallway, listening.

Conor came in and knelt next to Chloe. "I value your opinion as well, and it's okay to question our unconventional decision, however..."

Conor looked sternly at each if us. "...you shouldn't be having this conversation without me. Brandon's was only half the decision. I made the other half when I said yes. I, too, know something of marriage. I know that it's the exact opposite of the cruel, festering, abusive example that I... that we had to endure! I also know that I can't imagine spending another day of my life without Brandon."

Then Conor looked at me. "And don't think for a second that I would let you take it back if you tried!"

Sean held out his fist, opened his hand palm down, and said "Bam!"

Chloe smiled. "Well, I stand corrected. My apologies to both of you."

I was extremely proud of Conor in that moment, and as impossible as it seemed, I realized I loved him even more.

After a long discussion about possible dates for the wedding, I drove Sweets and Conor drove Jim's car back to The House. We had spent so much time at Sean's that we missed our window of opportunity to be alone. The event would be starting soon and we needed to get back on track.

Conor and I parked the cars in back and walked in through the kitchen entrance to see Sam and Tom sharing a plate of nachos.

"Hey! Where did you come from? I thought you were locked in your room having make up sex this whole time."

I started to give Sam a hard time about posting the video, but kept my mouth shut when Conor answered, "We went to break the news to my mom." then sat next to her with a serious look on his face.

"Sammy, I need to apologize for leaving you stranded. I guess I was out of my mind for a while, but I had no right to expect you to do all the work. I'm really sorry."

"Shit you really scared me, but I wasn't stranded. Tom and Brandon helped out with the event stuff, and I think we did a really good job. In fact I'm all ready for tonight. I'm just glad everything worked out and you didn't kill Brandon after..."

I stood behind Conor, trying to signal Sam to stop... but it was too late.

"...catching him spooning my brother. How did he explain that one anyway?"

Conor slowly turned around and raised an eyebrow, then stood up. "Yes, Brandon. How do you explain that one?"

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh, Shit! He didn't know?"

Tom sat silently, obviously avoiding the topic of Luke, as Sam tried to come to my rescue... but Conor wouldn't have it. "Hush, Sam! Let him tell me."

Beads of sweat formed instantly on my forehead. I knew the truth, but formulating it into words wasn't happening. "I, um. It was late and Luke... there weren't any empty beds, so he slept with... no, I mean... nothing happened, I swear!"

Conor stood with his hands crossed over his chest. I tried to read what I saw in his face... disappointment, anger, rage all seemed to appear at once, then... he doubled over laughing hysterically and went to the ground.

"You... you thought... I would really... believe..."

"It's not funny, babe."

"You... and Luke... oh god..."

"Stop laughing, Conor."

"That... boy..."

I walked slowly to the refrigerator, grabbed a can of whipping cream, then turned around.

Conor sprang up like a lynx and took off at a sprint. I caught up just in time to keep from being locked out of his room, forced my way inside and managed to grab a handful of shirt, then looked into his eyes. The whipping cream slipped from my fingers... a fun idea for some other time.

My heart raced, then nearly stopped as Conor slowly walked backward to his bed. His ripped abs, chest, and broad shoulders flexed as he lifted his shirt off and tossed it away. I held his gaze for a moment, but couldn't resist looking when he unzipped his shorts and slid them down until his hard cock sprang free. I stalked my lover, letting my clothes drop to the floor, closing the gap until we merged, flesh to flesh, soul to soul. I wrapped my arms around my future husband, then whispered the words I could never say enough if I lived for an eternity...

"I love you, Conor."

The day I met Brandon, he took my breath away, and now... I would give him my last breath if he asked for it. I saw the fire in his hazel eyes. That same fire had ignited my scars before and I ran from the pain, nearly losing him forever. I held his gaze this time and endured the flame, letting it burn until my scars became ash and the pain faded into oblivion. When he whispered that he loved me, my legs gave out and I melted into his embrace. His strong arms held me tightly and gently laid me down, then he kissed me. It happened every single time his lips touched mine... shockwaves coursed through my body like some kind of drug and aphrodisiac cocktail. His lips and tongue were so soft and sweet, but his hands betrayed his passion. I submitted when he wrapped his fingers around my wrists and pinned my arms to the bed. My voice trembled with longing as I whispered back...

"I love you, too, B."

His lips did it to me again, sending me off to that otherworldly place only he could take me... his velvet tongue sparking something deep inside. Passion gave way to desire and I pinned his muscular arms to the bed. He was strong enough to lift me, I knew, but he surrendered... his vulnerability driving me even deeper into desire. Then he whispered that he loved me too, and I couldn't hold back...

He buried his face in my neck and I felt his teeth sink in. He would leave a mark, but I didn't care. He was, after all, Grá Mo Chroí, The Love of My Heart. I moaned at the pleasure of the pain, then felt his thighs push my legs up, his hips press into me, and his stiff cock against mine. I rocked into him, wanting him closer, but it wasn't close enough. I felt the heat rise from my balls to my abs, then my hole quiver. I knew I wasn't going to last long, but I wanted him closer... I needed him inside me. I pulled free of his grasp, grabbed his hair, and whispered my desire...

"Make love to me, B."

I fought to hold it off, but when he grabbed my hair and pulled me tight, I felt his foreskin roll back and his wet cock head slide against mine, and I nearly lost it. Then he whispered words that sealed the deal. My entire body quaked in orgasmic bliss and a jet of precum left my cock.

"I'm... fuck... d-don't move, babe..."

"Ugh... I can't... I'm gonna cum, B!"

My abs tensed when his wet cock slid down mine and over my balls. I tried to hold it in... then I felt a hot jet of cum hit my hole. "I'm... oh fuck!"

I pressed my cock deep inside my Love, using my own cum as lube. The feeling was more intense than anything I had ever known, and I nearly blacked out. I felt his hard cock pulsing underneath me, spraying load after load of cum between our slick bodies. Every muscle contracted as our dual orgasm continued. I couldn't moan or breathe, just cum...

I could feel his cock pulsing inside me. With each pulse, my cock reacted by shooting another load of cum between us. I held on tight and finally remembered to breathe, then found his lips again. I don't know how long it lasted, only that I was having the longest, most intense orgasm of my life. When our bodies finally expended every ounce of fluid and energy, we collapsed in silence, listening to each other breathe. His full weight was on me, but I had never felt anything more comforting... which made the tears that followed completely unexpected. I cried into his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't notice, then the sobs came.

"What's wrong, babe? Did I hurt you?"

He started to lift himself off me, but I held on tight until he relaxed. It took a moment to sort through my emotions and reply.

"No, it's just... I'm not afraid anymore."

I lifted my head up and looked into my Love's eyes. "Conor, I'm so sorry you had to go through all those terrible things. I promise I will never make you feel that way."

"I know, B. For the first time in my life, I know. I just never thought it would happen."

"I love you, Babe."

"I love you, too."

After taking a few moments to get through the emotions, we finally managed to pry ourselves apart, then took a quick shower and got dressed. Sam had prepared for the event early, but it was getting close to starting time. I grabbed Conor by the hand and opened his bedroom door... to a spider's web of Caution tape and a sign that read, "We got this! Enjoy!" I looked down to see a large red pizza delivery bag and a drink cooler on the floor.

"I think I might cry now, babe."

"I know. This is amazing!"

Conor and I gathered everything up and slid his nightstand out to use as a makeshift table. When I pulled the hot pizza box from the bag, there was a note written on top of it, which simply read, "Gratz!" and was signed with a "J."

"Who is J?"

"Remember the pizza guy that caught us in the kitchen?"

"Oh, Jerome, right?"

"Yeah. He got initiated by Tom and Sun while you were gone. I thought it was a bit brutal for his first time, but he seemed to enjoy it."

Conor sat staring at the slice of pizza in his hand. "You don't think...?"

"Special Sauce? I don't think so, but I'm too hungry to care right now."

I took a bite of pizza, then Conor gave in and started eating his slice. The cooler contained a pitcher of Margaritas that Tom had no doubt made, and two salted glasses. We ate and drank without saying much, then my phone rang.

"Hey, Luke."

Conor raised an eyebrow and grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Thanks, bud. I'm guessing you saw the video your sister posted."

"Yes, we're both beyond ecstatic. Did you talk to Ray?"

"Oh, man, I'm sorry."

"Well, I'm glad you're still friends. Don't worry, it'll happen for you."

"Absolutely, call me anytime."

"Okay, take care."

Conor was licking red sauce from his fingers and staring at me when I hung up.

"What?"

"Bud?"

"Don't judge."

"You were seriously sweating the Luke thing, huh?"

"Yes, I was."

"Why, B?"

"Okay, full disclosure. Luke sleeps in the buff, and when I woke up he was snuggled with me. Then Sean said you didn't go back to his house, and I thought you came here and saw us in bed together. So, yeah, I was sweating it."

"You really thought I would be upset about Luke? I trust you, B. I told you that before and nothing has changed. Besides, that little squirt spoons with everyone."

"Um, yeah. You haven't seen Luke for a while, have you?"

"Not since I first started dating Sam, why?"

"He's not a little squirt anymore. When you see him again, I think you'll understand why I was so worried."

"So the little squirt is a hottie now?"

"He is, and a good kid. He reminds me of you."

"Did you enjoy spooning with him?"

"Don't even..."

"You touched his butt, too, didn't you?"

"I'm warning you..."

"...probably popped a boner."

"Okay, that's it!" I stuck my finger in my mouth, getting it dripping wet...

"Oh, yuck, B, you got pizza sauce in my ear!"

"You deserved it."

"Maybe, but it was too rich to pass up. So what was the call about?"

"I gave Luke some boy advice, but it didn't quite work out for him."

"What was your advice?"

I yawned as I replied, "Not to be afraid."

"That's good advice, regardless. Are you tired? I'm totally spent."

"Yeah, I'm about to go into a coma."

"Wanna spoon?"

"Yes. Can I touch your butt?"

"I don't know, you might pop a boner."

"That's a given."

We pulled our clothes off and climbed back into bed. Conor pressed into me and I rested my hand on his hip and nestled my boner between his soft cheeks. We were both too tired for round two, but with a lifetime of love ahead, it didn't matter.

I kissed my Love's neck and noticed he was looking at his ring, which was the first time I really had a chance to look at it myself. The craftsmanship of the ring was beyond compare. The ring was one cohesive piece, with light colored outer edges sandwiching a band of black, in which was a gold inlay of two crisscrossing lines that I recognized as an infinity rope. I was contemplating how to explain the ring to Conor when he broke the silence.

"B?"

"Yes, Love?"

"When did you know?"

"That I loved you?"

"Yes."

" I think I've loved you since the day we met. It just became clearer every day after, especially when we were apart."

"Same for me, except... I know it's not possible, but I feel like I've loved you all my life."

"It may be possible, babe. Some things are just beyond explanation, like the ring you're wearing. I, um... I didn't know I was going to ask you to marry me until the moment it happened, I just knew it was right. In fact, nothing could have been more right than asking you to marry me. The ring... I'm not sure how to explain it, but..."

Conor turned the ring on his finger. "Rose told me."

"She did? What did she say?"

"Rose put the ring in your pocket just before you woke me up. She said that it was made by her grandfather. He was the only one who accepted her relationship with Marco, so he made the ring with hope that they would marry someday. There's an inscription on the inside, but she said you would know what it is without looking."

"What? I can only guess, but it may be "Hope is near where love exists." It's what kept me going when I thought I had lost you. Conor, I can buy you a new ring if..."

Conor turned and kissed me. I felt a tear fall from his face to mine, then he pulled away. "It's perfect, B... even more so because of the history. But, how did she know you would ask...?"

I put my finger on Conor's lips. "Try not to think about it."

"It'll fry my brain?"

"Yep."

"Rose is a special person, B."

"Yes, very special."

Conor laid his head back down. "I have one more question."

"What is it, Love?"

"Why does my pillow smell like Jim?"

"Oops..."

To be continued...